Article How to break the news If you are among the thousands of people who have recently lost their jobs or whose unemployment will be running out and no job is in sight, your teens need to be told of changes that have to be made. This can be done without putting an actual dollars and cents figure in their heads, but they deserve to know how and why the changes will affect them. But when you do tell them: • Be honest; the plant is closing, the office no longer has the client base to justify operations, there has been a buy-out and the new owners are bringing in their own staff… • Don’t be bitter; this isn’t what we want, but nothing comes from being bitter or placing blame. • Be optimistic without making promises you cannot keep; it may take a while to find another job and we may even have to relocate to do so, but no matter what, as your parents we will do whatever is necessary to make this as disruptive to your life as possible. • Ask that the family be united in the efforts to go through the necessary changes; it’s not going to be easy, but if we all work together to make little changes, we can hopefully get through this without having to make major changes. Answers to their questions Teens are naturally curious about how their families’ financial situations may affect their lives. This shouldn’t come as any big surprise. But answering these questions sometimes leaves parents scratching their heads. Hopefully this will help… Q. How much money do you make? A. We make enough to pay our expenses and to be able to pay for food, clothing and a few fun things each month. We have enough coming in to pay for your sports fees and put some in savings each month. OR A. Because I’ve lost my job, things are pretty tight. We’re going to be able to meet our necessary expenses, but we’re all going to have to cut back. This means we’re going to have to ask you to…
How your teen can benefit They say there’s a silver lining in every cloud. Let’s look at what that lining can be in this situation… • Your teen will learn the value of relationships over material possessions • Your teen will learn valuable lessons in money management and budgeting • Your teen will learn to be sacrificial and selfless • Your teen will learn that love is give and take • Your teen will learn to be responsible and to contribute to the well being of the family Final comments Money isn’t an easy subject to talk about. It’s the number one cause of arguments in a marriage. But in today’s economic situation, money matters are unavoidable. So instead of hiding them or pretending they don’t exist, give your teen credit for being mature and responsible and make her part of the solution in reasonable fashion rather than robbing her of learning some valuable lessons that she can take with her into her own household some day. The Stockings Were Hung by the Chimney with Care… And All That Other Stuff - Darla Noble Christmas is quickly approaching - it’s only days away. Most of the shopping is already done, the tree is up and decorated and you’ve probably already indulged in at least a piece or two (or three or four) of Christmas fudge. Aahhh, Christmas. It’s that time of year when most everyone’s heart is in the right place and the spirit of good will toward men is the message of the day. So why not seize the opportunity to make this time a special one between you and your teens? Take this time to call upon their feelings of good will toward men; use it to ease or even erase tension between them and you and to remind them of what a special gift they are to your family.
Q. Will I be able to go to college? A. Yes, you will be able to go to college. You may need to have a few more student loans than we originally thought, but working together, we’ll make it happen. There are also several scholarships available we can apply for. Q. Why do we have to move? A. It’s not what we want to do, but the house payment is simply too much for us with the drop in income. Let’s try and make the best of things and remember that a house doesn’t make a home - family does.
Traditions The word ‘tradition’ means to a belief or custom to hand down or pass on along to the next generation. That would be you passing on a custom or belief to them. The ‘you’ and ‘them’ denotes interaction and communication. parentingteens.com
19
next page
>