Pacific Sun Weekly 11.25.2011 - Section 1

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date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: October 25, 2011 /s/ Faye D’Opal, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: Dates: November 4, 11, 18, 25, 2011) ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF MARIN. No. CIV 1105568. TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner TAYLOR MARIE ANGELOS filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: TAYLOR MARIE ANGELOS to TAYLOR PERRY. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objection that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition

should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: January 10, 2012, 9:00AM, Dept. L, Room L, Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, San Rafael, CA 94913-4988. A copy of this ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: November 10, 2011 /s/ LYNN DURYEE, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: November 18, 25; December 2, 9, 2011) ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF MARIN. No. CIV 1105676. TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner ALAN HENRY GAEL filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: ALAN HENRY GAEL to ALAN GAYLE HAGBERG. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear

before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objection that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: December 29, 2011, 8:30 AM, Dept. E, Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, San Rafael, CA 94913. A copy of this ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: November 17, 2011 /s/ FAYE D’OPAL, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: November 25; December 2, 9, 16, 2011)

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Q:

For 10 years, this woman and I have had a hot-and-cold long-distance relationship, the temperature of which she’s always controlled. She’s 56; I’m 46. Last year, she felt ready to try for something lasting. She couldn’t afford to travel, so I paid for her ight. She stayed with me for two wonderful, passionate months, and then we vacationed together in February. I paid for her ight, rental car, hotel and meals. Again, it was very passionate. Last month, we vacationed together again, funded by me. The day she arrived, she declared her sex life a thing of the past. I was stunned and found sharing the bed rather challenging, but I’ve never forced myself on any woman and I’m not about to start. My friends are now fuming. I counter that in funding everything, it was never my intention to be paying for “horizontal refreshment.â€? Was she wrong to agree to this trip and then change the terms of our relationship? Am I in denial in not feeling angry?—Wondering

A:

When you’ve been romantic with a woman for a decade and you’re taking her on yet another “passionate� getaway, it’s reasonable to expect she’ll be interested in doing more in bed than letting you watch as she does the crossword puzzle. (If she’s feeling kinky, you could be in for some mind-blowing Sudoku.) It cost you, what, $3,000—the price of a TV the size of a small European country—to have her personally deliver the news that she wouldn’t be having sex with you? You’d be leading your friends in fuming if you hadn’t gotten all tangled up in your self-image as a gentleman. And no, just because a man buys a woman something—dinner, for example—that doesn’t mean she owes him sex. But, let’s be honest; we all know he isn’t buying dinner out of an overwhelming desire to feed hungry females free lobster, and it isn’t brotherly benevolence that’s behind an all-expensespaid vacation from a man who does not earn a living as a game-show host. The question is, was this woman’s lack of pre-vacation disclosure a random act of jerkhood, utterly unpredictable, like a Russian satellite landing on some poor schlub’s beater Yugo? Or, more likely, was it utterly predictable based on years of your showing her you’d take whatever she dished out? Your lack of anger is telling. Anger gets triggered when you feel somebody’s shorted you on something you were entitled to—like the courtesy of a phone call (before you paid for yet another “passionate vacation�) informing you that the birds are taxidermied and the bees are dead. Chances are, you’re a too-nice guy—a guy whose “niceness� is actually suckuppyness, who believes his perceived loserhood will be “cured� if only he can get into a relationship. Ironically, the loserhood is caused by the willingness to do anything for love. That doesn’t get you love; it gets you doing anything and everything for it and ending up with blue balls and a big hotel bill. In the future, even if you can’t quite believe you deserve a mutual relationship, you need to risk acting as if you do, and speak up and even bail whenever one turns out not to be. Everything won’t always be 50/50, but you and a woman you take on a romantic vacation should be on the same page about the proper placement of the “Do Not Disturb� sign: on the doorknob all weekend, as opposed to around her neck.

Q:

Several of my Jewish friends have found love on JDate. I am a 32-year-old man who isn’t Jewish and has no aspiration to convert but would like to give JDate a try. Huge faux pas?—Lapsed Catholic

A:

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JDate advertises that its mission is sustaining “Jewish traditionsâ€?—apparently including the tradition of pissing off one’s parents by getting together with a Catholic. Where I live, in the 21-to-41 age group I counted 279 non-Jewish JDaters, including four lesbians looking for nice Jewish girls. The thing to be wary of is that people are prone to be overly inclusive at the point of sale. A woman may sincerely believe some interfaithy thing can work, and then the relationship gets serious and her parents lay on the pressure, and before you know it, you’re getting dumped for Shlomo McShlomowitz. Should you end up dating some hot Hebrew, as tempting as it is to focus on all the ways you’re compatible, you’d better dig into all the ways you’re not. Sure, relationships are compromise, but it’s one thing to put off the zombie movie till next weekend and another thing entirely to try to answer the question “What will the children be?â€? with “Jewish on Wednesdays and Catholic on the weekends?â€? < Š Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. www.advicegoddess.com. Got a problem? Email AdviceAmy@aol.com or write to Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave. #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405.

Worship the goddess—or sacriďŹ ce her at the altar on TownSquare at ›› paciďŹ csun.com NOVEMBER 25– DECEMBER 1, 2011 PACIFIC SUN 35

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