›› THAT TV GUY FRIDAY, JULY 29 Deep Impact As a comet hurtles toward Earth, authorities struggle to prepare for the disaster by writing an elaborate series of pointless subplots. (1998) TNT. 8pm. The Matrix Reloaded They came up with Matrix Reloaded after rejecting such names as “Matrix Rebooted,”“Matrix System Error” and “Matrix, Press Any Key to Continue.” (2003) AMC. 8pm. A Ride Along the Lincoln Highway Exploring the legacy of the first transcontinental highway that threaded through rural America, when travelers still slowed down for small towns, quaint roadside attractions and other slices of Americana you can still find if you visit the STUFF WE DESTROYED aisle at WalMart. KQED. 9pm.
by Rick Polito
star Snooki can be summed up in the word “Snooki.” E! 10pm.
TUESDAY, AUG. 2 Point Break Keanu Reeves stars as an FBI agent who goes undercover as a surfer to infiltrate a ring of surfing bank robbers. A note to surfing crime rings: If a guy shows up and says his name is “Johnny Utah,” you’re either being set up by the cops or you’re in a really bad Keanu Reeves movie. (1991) Versus. 7:30pm. Planet of the Apes This is aired to get you excited for Rise of the Planet of the Apes, in which we learn that the super-intelligent apes were created in a genetic SATURDAY, JULY 30 Who engineering experiment. Do You Think You Are? Tim Unfortunately, this proMcGraw traces his family gram is not available for tree. The thing with counCongress. (2001) FX. 8pm. try stars is that sisters and Take the Money and cousins are all on the same Run A new reality show branch. NBC. 8pm. has contestants hide a My Yard Goes Disney A briefcase and then get family builds their own Disquestioned by profesneyland in their backyard. It’s fun for a while, but the New England great white shark, summer- sional investigators.This week, the contestants are two-hour wait for the tire ing in the Hamptons. brothers in San Francisco. swing gets tiresome pretty If the investigators are local, they should hide quickly. HGTV. 8pm. Synchronized Swimming On non-Olympic it on Pier 39.“Nobody” goes there. ABC. 9pm. years they can only show this on the gay channel. LOGO. 8pm. WEDNESDAY, AUG. 3 Awkward Another Capricorn One NASA administrators try teen drama captures all the angst and pain to fake a mission to Mars using Hollywood of high school life, but with clearer skin. MTV. special effects, but the public becomes sus8pm. picious when the Mars rover has California The Untouchables These are Prohibitionplates. (1978) KICU Channel 36. 9pm. era detectives and not people who are immune to prosecution, like Goldman Sachs SUNDAY, JULY 31 Same Name Comedian executives. (1987) AMC. 8pm. Kathy Griffin switches places with her small- How Sharks Hunt Apparently, it involves swimming. Discovery town namesake. It’s fun for Channel. 9pm. a while, but the host family Primetime Nightline: doesn’t appreciate the twoBeyond Belief Examindrink minimum. CBS. 9pm. ing reports of out-ofJaws Comes Home Exambody experiences, not ining reports of great the tequila kind. ABC. whites off the coast of New 10pm. England. They’re just like sharks anywhere else but they wear Ralph Lauren and THURSDAY, AUG. 4 drink gin and tonics. DiscovHeidi Fleiss: Prostitutes Also, real surfers don’t glide in their 501’s. to Parrots The Hollyery Channel. 10pm. Tuesday at 7:30. The Glades A man is found wood madam is raising dead in a box of poisonous parrots. All the parrots snakes. Substitute cubicle for “box” and this talk. But if they talk dirty, it costs 99 cents a could be any office in America. A&E. 10pm. minute. Animal Planet. 8pm. When Fish Attack 3 First, a killer whale is not a “fish.” Secondly,THIS IS SHARK WEEK! MONDAY, AUG. 1 The Bachelorette The Discovery Channel. 10pm. bachelorette finally picks her mate, pledgJersey Shore The cast visits Italy. Many of ing to spend the rest of her life with him, or them are of Italian descent.That doesn’t at least the part of her life between the last mean Italy is going to let them stay any commercial break and the credits. ABC. 8pm. Rogue Sharks These sharks live off the coast longer than necessary. MTV. 10pm. ✹ of Alaska and support lower taxes and gun Critique That TV Guy at letters@pacificsun.com. rights. Discovery Channel. 9pm. Turn on more TV Guy at True Hollywood Story Everything we ›› pacificsun.com ever wanted to know about Jersey Shore
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