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Never the bride Ladies, don’t turn your friends into the Bridesmaids of Frankenstein... by M e l i ss a Wal ke r
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rides—they’re your best friends, your family, the people closest to you. Treasure them and treat them well with this guide to bridesmaids.
Striking similarities Don’t fret about urban legends of closets full of awful dresses belonging to fashion-victim bridesmaids of yore—we’ve come a long way from the days of ruffles and fuchsia. Queen for a day Your bridesmaids are Of course, you may have to accommodate there to make your various body types life easier, so let (not to mention them! You’ll want diverging senses of total control of style), so make sure your special day, but your bridesmaids these girls should be have a say in their the ladies in waitwedding wear. ing to your Bridal Whatever you do, Queen. They can don’t let a gaggle scour cities for their of girls out on the bridesmaid dresses street in search of (showing you fathe perfect dress— vorites for final apthat’s a recipe for proval, of course), disaster. Let your research hotels for maid of honor guests and assemble choose her dress favors. After you’ve per your specificagot your hands tions, and then on just the right A scene from the Australian hit ‘27 Dresses,’ considered by select three similar style of paper, have many the ‘Citizen Kane’ of bridesmaid movies. styles from which bridesmaids address your bridesmaids invitation envelopes and write place cards will have their pick. If you have a pregnant (making sure you call on the ones with the bridesmaid, be sure to anticipate her size nicest handwriting!). Let the maid of hon- at the time of the wedding, and order or be your royal attendant as she coordi- extra fabric in case her dress size needs to nates pre-wedding bridesmaid fittings and be altered. Although similar dresses are lunches, and acts as your personal beauty the most striking for bridesmaids who (and therapy) assistant on the big day. flank the true star of the show, it isn’t necessary to have a procession of clones
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Bridesmaid Do’s and Don’ts DO: Consider your bridesmaids’ budgets. DON’T: Call to tell them that Vera Wang will be needing their credit card numbers for processing. DO: Delegate responsibilities among the bridesmaids and keep them informed. DON’T: Expect them to accompany you on every shopping trip; and don’t call them every hour, on the hour, to update them on the latest wedding joy or disaster. DO: Let your bridesmaids voice their opinions on their attire’s style. DON’T: Dictate an accessory or hairdo that makes your bridesmaids uncomfortable— it’ll show on their faces.
introduce you. Bridesmaid dresses should complement the style and formality of your gown; the only official rule of thumb is that if you’re wearing a short dress, your attendants should avoid letting their hemlines dip below yours. Encouraging bridesmaids to choose the most flattering style for their tastes and body types will make for more sparkling smiles in the wedding album. Plus, you can outfit the girls with similar headpieces, bouquets, shoes and jewelry (accessorize, girl!) if you want a fall-in-line parade. Always a bridesman? Including a guy in your procession is a perfectly acceptable (and even progressively hip) thing to do. Of course, you should be sensitive to his limits—dragging him to all-girl showers and gown-shopping excursions is asking too much. He can don the same attire as the groom’s attendants, but you might outfit him with a unique boutonniere or cummerbund to identify him with your bridal party. Be sure to thank him with a gift that fits—groomsman gifts may include tickets to a game or show, stationery
A bridesmaid’s primary task is to send her friend off toward a lifetime of marital bliss and undying devotion—and to not look better than the bride while doing it.
or an engraved fountain pen. And remember, if you give the bridesmaids necklaces, he might rather have cufflinks. Ballot of the bridesmaids Your list of bridesmaids should fill you with joy, not anxiety. Call upon people who will be in your life forever—close friends and relatives who are in it for the long haul. Choose the number of bridesmaids that best reflect the size and formality of your ceremony; you and your groom don’t have to have the same number of attendants (the clergy arranges processions and lineups, so that’s one load off your mind). Remember, you aren’t obligated to ask people who included you in their weddings, and you’re not expected to keep a promise you made to your best friend in elementary school. There are always creative ways to include more people if you think the girls from the office might feel slighted—having a friend man the guest book or give a reading at your wedding can make her feel just as special. ✹ Comment on this story on TownSquare, at ›› pacificsun.com Now featuring the work of local artists:
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