›› THAT TV GUY FRIDAY, JAN. 7 The Happening Plants begin emitting a strange substance that causes people to kill themselves. On a smaller scale, this happens with Christmas trees. (2008) FX.8pm. The Hills Have Eyes 2 In the sequel, the desert cannibal mutants tangle with National Guard trainees who all agree ,“It’s better than being in Afghanistan right now.â€? (2007) IFC. 8:30pm. Late Show with David Letterman At this point, it might be time for Dave and Regis to move on and start seeing new people. CBS. 11:35pm.
by Rick Polito
Castle The owner of a magic shop is found dead. Maybe the rabbit didn’t want to be pulled out of the hat! ABC. 10pm.
TUESDAY, JAN. 11 Green Hornet Marathon In the 1966 TV series—in theaters this week as a movie—a wealthy newspaper publisher and his martial arts assistant go after bad guys. It sounds far-fetched, especially the “wealthy newspaper publisherâ€?part. SyFy.All night. SATURDAY, JAN. 8 The Exorcist Linda NCIS: Los Angeles When a body is stolen from an autopsy room, Blair plays a young girl investigators must believed to be possessed determine who had both by a demon and subjectmotive and access.They ed to an elaborate series also have to find out how of religious rituals. In this much it would go for on re-edited version of the eBay. CBS.9pm. horror classic, the priests Front of the Class The resort to more desperate heartwarming story measures: They dose her of a young man with with Ritalin. (1973) Spike Tourette’s syndrome who TV.7:30pm. overcomes his challenges True Grit When her and becomes a teacher. father is killed, a teenage Stay with it to the end girl hires John Wayne and for his lecture on“ShakeGlen Campbell to track down his killers and shoot ‘Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!’Saturday, 8pm. speare and his piss, crap, crapping dorkmucker them. Apparently grief counseling was not widely available in the sonnet.â€?(2008) Hallmark.9pm. Old West. (1969) AMC. 8pm. WEDNESDAY, JAN. 12 The New VirginThe Bachelor This season’s bachelor, Brad ity A report on a new movement to elevate Womack, has already been the bachelor. He virginity in response to an over-sexed pophad his pick of 20 women four years ago. culture environment. From what we can This guy doesn’t need a TV show, he needs a see of the abstinence movement, the new harem. ABC.9pm. CSI: NY This week’s gunman is wearing a virginity is like the old virginity but with more unplanned pregnancies. clown costume. This may MTV.7pm. be the first case where Off the Map In this the suspect’s composite new medical drama, sketch was sold as a paintthree young doctors are by-numbers set. CBS.9pm. assigned to a remote jungle medical center SUNDAY, JAN. 9 The in South America. Not Craigslist Killer Not only only is there nowhere to did he kill somebody, he get their BMWs serviced, also sold his lava lamp and but they have to accept an Ab-Roller. (2011) Lifeco-payments in bananas. time.7pm. ABC.10pm. Nature A look at what Storage Wars This is a happened to the lion cubs from Born Free. Last we The workers’ comp insurance is the real killer, new show about people who go to auctions at heard, they were living in Thursday at 8. storage units and buy a studio apartment in Vegas and heckling the tigers at the Siegfried and Roy show. KQED. whole lots of random stuff left behind by people who couldn’t pay their bills. If real vultures 8pm. ever learn to drive U-Hauls, this will be on AniThe Cape An ex-cop becomes a costumed mal Planet. A&E.10pm. vigilante. It’s certainly eccentric, but as retirement hobbies go, it’s cheaper than THURSDAY, JAN. 13 Enter the Dragon golf. NBC. 9pm. Exactly what is the business model behind assembling your own martial arts army? MONDAY, JAN. 10 Ratatouille A rat develops his gastronomic talents at a French bistro. (1973) AMC.8pm. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A shark If you suspect a rat added an ingredient to attacks a woman in a pool. It’s either a your restaurant dish, you should assume it’s tragedy or a missed pay-per-view oppornot a caper. (2007) Disney Channel.8pm. tunity. CBS. 9pm. ✚ A Flea Market Documentary A look at people who prowl flea markets and how many Critique That TV Guy at letters@paciďŹ csun.com. times that breadmaker you got as a wedding present will change hands before it goes to Turn on more TV Guy at the landfill. KQED.9pm. ›› paciďŹ csun.com
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