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ADViCE GODDESS®
by Amy Alkon
Q:
I love to dress up and go socialize with people. My boyfriend, however, can only smile and chitchat for about 20 minutes before he seats himself in some corner and starts reading the host’s books. Last time we went to a dinner party, I found him alone in a room petting the owner’s dog! I do introduce him around and encourage him to be more outgoing. I think if he’d just make more of an effort to talk to people, he’d have a better time. He says he’s not miserable but just can’t do this social stuff for long. I love having him with me, even though he’s kind of not actually with me. So, can it work with a self-proclaimed introvert and a party girl?—Social Butterfly
A:
It’s a party! You’re in your element, making the rounds, meeting tons of new people, racking up invites to parties after the party, and your boyfriend’s, well, probably in that little crawlspace under the host’s stairs. Sartre once said, “Hell is other people at breakfast.” An introvert sees no reason to narrow it down to a particular time of day. My own introvert boyfriend is charming and fun one on one, but his favorite kind of party is one that’s canceled, and his preferred RSVP would be something Ving Rhames said on the set of Out of Sight: “I don’t want to talk to anybody I don’t already know.” Ever since Freud decided (sans evidence) that introverts were repressed, narcissistic trolls under the bridge, extraversion has been considered the ideal and introverts have been seen as socially stunted. Introversion is also wrongly conflated with shyness, but shyness is fear- and shame-based—quite different from seeing no reason to say anything to strangers unless you or they are on fire. More and more, research points to a strong biological basis for personality. Brain imaging shows distinct differences in introverts and extraverts. Studies by neuroscientist Debra L. Johnson and others found that extraverts, who get energized from external stimulation like meeting new people, have increased blood flow to rear areas of the brain for sensory processing (like listening, touching, watching). Introverts, who tend to be more pensive and introspective, and are easily overwhelmed by too much external stimulation, showed more blood flow altogether (indicating more internal stimulation), over more complicated pathways, with more activity in frontal regions for inward tasks like problemsolving, reasoning and remembering. Put that together with a Chinese study adding evidence that introverts get socked with a higher level of cortical arousal from stimuli, and you get the idea that urging introverts to be more outgoing is a bit like urging scissors to be more like a stapler. So, can it work between you and a boyfriend who probably researches the host’s wallpaper so he can dress to blend into the background? Well, maybe— if you’re independent enough to show up to most events without him as Your Date(tm). There will, of course, be times when it means something to you to have him there, and the compromise then is his to make. Be sensitive to his feelings, try to get there early (when the houseplant-to-guest ratio is greatest) and be OK with him eventually slinking off to read or talk to the dog (who’s sometimes the most interesting person at the party).
Q:
Is there any way, for a man out on a date with a woman to utter the phrase “Whoopsie daisy” and not see a Road Runner cloud where she was just sitting?—Just Curious
A:
Just wondering...under what circumstances would a man (you?), on a date with a woman, be compelled to utter the phrase “Whoopsie daisy”? Dropped your knitting? Or, was it your Hello Kitty wallet and matching compact? There are some women who like to date girlier types, and they’re called lesbians. Otherwise, unless you’re joking, and your date shares your sense of humor, you probably will see a cartoon puff of smoke in her wake if you talk like her elderly aunt. You don’t have to grunt and adjust yourself every two minutes, but if you’re looking for a conversational role model, lean more toward Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry than Kurt Hummel in Glee.✹ © Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. www.advicegoddess.com. Got a problem? E-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com or write to Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave. #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405.
Worship the goddess—or sacrifice her at the altar on TownSquare at ›› pacificsun.com 30 PACIFIC SUN AUGUST 6 – AUGUST 12, 2010
PUBLIC NOTICES CONTINUED FROM PAGE 29 a written objection that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: September 16, 2010, 8:30 a.m., Dept. E, Room E, Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, Room 113, San Rafael, CA 94913-4988. A copy of this ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: July 19, 2010 /s/ JAMES R. RITCHIE, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: July 30; August 6, 13, 20, 2010) ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF MARIN. No. CIV 1003838. TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner BRIAN KEITH GOODWIN filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: BRIAN KEITH GOODWIN TO BRIAN KEITH GOODWIN LONGCOR. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objection that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: September 9, 2010, 8:30 a.m., Dept. E, Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, Room 113, San Rafael, CA 94913-4988. A copy of this ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: July 23, 2010 /s/ JAMES R. RITCHIE, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: July 30; August 6, 13, 20, 2010) NOTICE OF PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF: ROSALEE VON BIMA. Case No. PR-1003784. To all heirs, beneficiaries, creditors, contingent creditors and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate, or both, of ROSE VON BIMA; ROSALEE VON BIMA; ROSIE VON BIMA. A PETITION FOR PROBATE has been filed by: JAMES F. VON BIMA in the Superior Court of California, County of MARIN. THE PETITION FOR PROBATE requests that JAMES F. VON BIMA be appointed as personal representative to administer the estate of the decedent. THE PETITION requests the decedent’s will and codicils, if any, be admitted to probate. The will and any codicils are available for examination in the file kept by the court. THE PETITION requests authority to administer the estate under the Independent Administration of Estates Act. (This authority will allow the personal representative to take many actions without obtaining court approval. Before taking certain very important actions, however, the personal representative will be required to give notice to interested persons unless they have waived notice or consented to the proposed action.) The independent administration authority will be granted unless an interested person files an objection to the petition and shows good cause why the court should not grant the authority. A HEARING on the petition will be held in this court as follows: August 30, 2010 at 8:30 a.m. in Dept: K, Room: K, of the Superior Court of California, Marin County, located at Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, San Rafael, CA. IF YOU OBJECT to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney. IF YOU ARE A CREDITOR or a contingent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative appointed by the court within four months from the date of first issuance of letters as provided in section 9100 of the California Probate Code. The time for filing claims will not expire before four months from the hearing date noticed above. YOU MAY EXAMINE the file kept by the court. If you are a person interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Request for Special Notice (form DE-154) of the filing of an inventory and appraisal of estate assets or of any petition or account as provided in Probate Code section 1250. A Request for Special Notice form is available from the court clerk. Attorney for Petitioner: JAMES F. VON BIMA,
837 RINCON WAY, SAN RAFAEL, CA 94903, (415) 472-3445. (Publication Dates: July 30; August 6, 13, 2010) STATEMENT OF ABANDONMENT OF USE OF FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME File No. 304206 The following person(s) has/have abandoned the use of a fictitious business name(s). The information given below is as it appeared on the fictitious business statement that was filed at the Marin County Clerk-Recorder’s Office. Fictitious Business name(s): SAUSALITO PET HOTEL, 303 HARBOR DR., SAUSALITO, CA 94965. Filed in Marin County on: April 19, 2006. Under File No: 109531. Registrantâ ™s Name(s): PATRICK LEARY, 34 BUCKELEW ST., SAUSALITO, CA 94965. This statement was filed with the County Clerk Recorder of Marin County on July 19, 2010. (Pacific Sun: July 30; August 6, 13, 20, 2010) AMENDED ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF MARIN. No. CIV 1003771. TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner KRISTY LYNN TUDRYN aka KRISTY GEBOW TUDRYN filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: KRISTY LYNN TUDRYN aka KRISTY GEBOW TUDRYN TO HAZEL KRISTY GEBOW TUDRYN. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objection that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: September 2, 2010, 8:30 AM, Dept. E, Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, Room 113, San Rafael, CA 94913-4988. A copy of this ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: August 2, 2010 /s/ JAMES R. RITCHIE, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: August 6, 13, 20, 27, 2010) ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF MARIN. No. CIV 1003972. TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner EWA DARIA BONINI on behalf of ANASTASIA DARIA JANKOWSKA filed a petition with this
court for a decree changing names as follows: ANASTASIA DARIA JANKOWSKA TO ANASTASIA DARIA BONINI. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objection that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: September 23, 2010, 8:30 AM, Dept. E, Room E, Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, Room 113, San Rafael, CA 94913-4988. A copy of this ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: July 29, 2010 /s/ JAMES R. RITCHIE, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: August 6, 13, 20, 27, 2010)
Visit www.pacificsun.com for information on publishing your legal notice: FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME CHANGE OF NAME SALE OF PROPERTY PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE SUMMONS
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