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It’s enough to make a grown man cry...
Boys don’t cry But men sure do, at least at the crushing finale to ‘Toy Story 3’... by Dav i d Te mpleton
David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This is not a review; rather, it is a freewheeling, tangential discussion of life, alternative ideas and popular culture. isney-Pixar’s Toy Story 3, if you believe what the media have been saying, is the movie that finally makes it OK for men to cry at the movies. Again. It’s the first time, I guess, since the last time, which was apparently Transformers 2, though in that case men were crying because the film was so incredibly, mindnumbingly bad. Previously there was Gladiator, with Russell Crowe’s wronged Maximus rejoining his wife and son in the afterlife—as his blood-soaked body is carried with honor from the Colosseum. Not long before that, it was Saving Private Ryan, as a dying Tom Hanks, propped up on a bombed-out bridge, tells the aboutto-be-rescued Matt Damon to “earn this” by living an honorable life. And in Field of Dreams, it was Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) playing that final cathartic game of catch with his long dead father—as moviegoing men across the country cried like little babies. In TS3, men are crying (according to the experts in entertainment magazines) because we so strongly identify with the separation anxiety experienced by Woody (the pull-string cowboy doll), Buzz Lightyear (the battery-operated
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spaceman toy) and all the other playthings. The formerly beloved gizmos must learn to let go of Andy, the young man who once, as a little boy, made their lives wonderful, and vice versa. In the film’s astonishingly sweet ending, the ultimate moment of farewell is so gently and lovingly and cleverly done that theater managers worldwide are surely complaining about all of the seats made wet from their audiences’ copious tears. And these are not just eyes-full-of-water tears, not one-or-two-drops-rollingdown-the-face tears. These are full-on, choking-and-sobbing, oh-my-god-I-don’t-
If you find yourself seated next to Ram Dass at the mallplex, pull out an extra hanky.
think-I-can-stop, I-am-about-to-reallythat we are simply not allowed to. embarrass-myself-but-I-don’t-even-careMen crying during Toy Story 3 is a big anymore tears. There’s just something deal because, for all the men’s movement about that final moment when Andy plays machinations of Robert Bly, and for all with Woody and Buzz one last time that... the copies of Fire in the Belly sold by Sam Hold on. Excuse me for a second—I Keen, it is still not OK for men to show all have to go get a tissue. that much emotion in public. Sure, men One could argue that the purpose of are expected to raise their fists and cheer great theater—and great movies—is to whenever something blows up on screen, allow us to feel: to laugh, to smile, to jump, and should we shed a tear or two during to gasp, to cower, to cheer and, yes, to cry. the “life-of-a-marriage” sequence at the All are valid responses to well-made movbeginning of the aforementioned Up, well ies. So why is it such a big deal when men that’s OK, too. In fact, it will probably win shed two or three buckets of tears during us brownie points with our spouses. an animated cartoon about talking plastic But for the most part, whenever men thingamajigs? Haven’t humans evolved are caught crying in a public, it is seen as enough to allow the male of the species vaguely unsettling, and even frightening, to go all weepy once in a while without it a sign of mental or emotional instability, becoming national news? or—and this is even worse—proof that the Apparently not. man has become, gosh-darn-it, a “softy.” Toy Story 3 has evidently ushered in a new Years ago, in the service of this colera of masculine weeping, or so say every umn, I was privileged to see a film with major representative Ram Dass, the of print media from iconic author, and Entertainment Weekspiritual and social ly to the New York commentator. The Times. In EW, Owen movie was RoomGleiberman’s June mates, starring Peter Falk as a 21 column bore the lovable grandfaheadline “Message to ther befriending Men: Yes, it’s okay to his adult grandson cry at ‘Toy Story 3’”; through difficult and in the Times, the times. Toward the phenomenon was end of the film, explained by describduring the powering TS3 as “A melan- The game of catch in ‘Field of Dreams’ had male viewers ful bedside farewell choly meditation on blubbering—and not because Ray put so little zip on scene, as Falk loss, impermanence the ball. utters a few final and that noble, stubborn, foolish thing called love.” In a recent one-liners and passes away, I found myEW online poll, readers were asked to fess self weeping uncontrollably. Seated next up as to how often they cried during the to so legendary a figure as Ram Dass, I movie, with 29.7 percent admitting to hav- tried to cover my tears by employing the ing teared up just once, 31.7 percent claim- age-old trick of wiping them away while ing twice, and 25 percent revealing they pretending to scratch my nose. Apparcried “More times than I care to count.” ently, Ram Dass was also struggling with The poll doesn’t break down how many re- a bout of unexpected itchiness, because sponders were men or women, but the as- my wife, Susan, suddenly leaned over, sumption is that tear-for-tear, it is males, by sighed “For goodness’ sake,” and handed a wide margin, who are out-crying females. us each a Kleenex. Ram Dass, thus caught in the act, Even the website ChristianCinema.com has been running an online conversation about grinned at me and whispered, “Well, I whether or not TS3 is tear-worthy, with guess I’m man enough to cry if you are.” men almost exclusively coming down on We finished out the film, side by side, the “yes it made me cry” side, and women, crying without reservation as proud but with few exceptions, saying “yes, I cried a slightly damp men. So, if you are a man and you see Toy little, but not so much as in Up.” Story 3, don’t hold back. It’s officially OK So. With everyone asking whether Toy to cry now. And if, for whatever reason, Story 3 is, in fact, making guys blubber, you don’t cry, that’s all right too. But, as and whether or not it’s OK for men to you sit in the theater watching the movie’s cry at movies, few have asked the most remarkable climax, if you happen to hear obvious follow-up question: Why is this someone choking back tears somewhere a big deal? in the dark, don’t worry about it. It’s no I think I can answer that. big deal. It’s probably just some guy saying Men like to cry. We like to cry the same goodbye to his own long-lost childhood way we like to take long camping trips alone in the woods, and drive 100 miles an loved ones, one last time. ✹ hour at midnight and stand up to bosses Shed a few tears with David at talkpix@earthlink.net. who are bullying us, telling them exactly where to stick their pathetic 3 percent It’s your movie, speak up at raises. We like to do all of those things, but ›› pacificsun.com most of us feel, with the rare exception, JULY 16 – JULY 22, 2010 PACIFIC SUN 21