›› ADViCE GODDESS® by Amy Alkon
Q:
I was a woman-using jerk in my 20s, but I mended my ways, stopped chasing arm-candy and sought a relationship with substance. This woman from college supplies exactly what I should want. However, on our first date, she said her last boyfriend cheated on her, and she’s “quit playing the game.” She’s also chosen a lifestyle as “one of the guys,” even talking and carrying on like them. (A lesbian soccer team mistakenly invited her to join.) Instead of trying to entice me, she was blunt on date one, challenging me to accept or reject her as a girlfriend. She even put out with no work from me. We do have many shared interests, and started a relationship, but something’s missing. Maybe if she’d been more mysterious, a little hard-toget, I’d be more into her. Or, if she’d dress sexy instead of jocky-frumpy. When I’ve gingerly addressed these issues, she thinks I’m trying to “modify” her. I guess she has this fairytale script where Superman sweats being with Frumpy Betty because he’s “so deep.” But, I’m not Superman—just a typical dude whose wandering mind keeps getting infatuated with girls who are smiley-cute and flirty.—Trying
A:
When people ask, “So, how’d you two lovebirds meet?” you don’t want them guessing your answer will be something along the lines of “Standing next to each other at the urinal.” Some women find a nice guy; some women just become one. Unfortunately, a woman won’t keep a guy from cheating on her by wearing Carhartt or buying her lingerie in packs of three in the men’s department. Some guys do like the sportier girls—the kind who camp and wear boots made for walking, and not just for those perilous 26 steps from the car to the restaurant. But, even for those guys, there have to be hints of girlyness—enough so you can tell who’s the girl and who’s the boy without doing a look-see down everybody’s Levis. Besides, as you surely know, it’s hard enough being faithful to a really sexy woman, let alone one whose idea of staging a seduction involves undoing the top button of her flannel work jacket and burping suggestively. Men like to chase things. They’re the hunters of the species. They don’t like to be gathered. But, we live in modern times! Yes, we do, but psychologically, we’re all still living in the cave. So, you want to want your girlfriend, but she never even gave you the chance to try to deal her into bed. All it took was complying as she dragged you there. Then this relationship fell on you like the house in The Wizard of Oz. You never got to experience falling for her (which probably wouldn’t have happened anyway, considering she shops exclusively in The I Don’t Care Collection, and had an entire lesbian soccer team under the impression that the last thing she wants to do is attract a man). As bad as you feel about being with girls for their hotitude alone, you aren’t a better guy for sticking with this one for her lack of it. In fact, this supposedly noble act of yours has unhappy ending written all over it. A wiser, kinder approach is coming up with six or seven bare minimums for what you need in a partner—the stuff you can’t live without, from looks to character. You can have a relationship of substance—once you admit that it has to include substances like lip gloss, and a girlfriend who can get in touch with her feminine side without hiring a private detective.
Q:
I’m still in contact, via email, with a guy I met on a dating site a year ago. We went out twice, on a platonic basis. We’ve discussed making plans for this weekend. If he doesn’t call, I may go out with another guy. Because I don’t feel as strongly about the newer guy, should I first find out what feelings, if any, the datingsite guy has for me, and discuss that? I’d feel like a bit of a “cheat” if something happened with guy number two.—Conflicted
A:
Here you are, two lovers, torn asunder by fate—or rather, the fact that one lover totally forgot about the existence of the other until he got a little high and dry on JDate. What do you tell guy number one? Well, first you wait for him to call. Then, if he asks you out, tell him a time that works for you. Period. Men are not known as the chattier sex. In fact, it’s usually safe to assume they don’t want to talk about it. Even if they’re in a relationship with you. And especially if they’re in a relationship with you that’s best described as “We’re still in contact, via email.” ✹
(c), Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. www.advicegoddess.com. Got a problem? E-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com or write to Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave. #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405.
Worship the goddess—or sacrifice her at the altar on TownSquare at ›› pacificsun.com 38 PACIFIC SUN FEBRUARY 5 – FEBRUARY 11, 2010
PUBLIC NOTICES CONTINUED FROM PAGE 37 ness name(s) listed herein on January 27, 2010. This statement was filed with the County Clerk-Recorder of Marin County on January 28, 2010. (Publication Dates: February 5, 12, 19, 26, 2010) FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT File No. 122939 The following individual(s) is (are) doing business as WILMER’S AUTO REPAIR, 1385 EAST FRANCISCO BOULEVARD, SUITE G, SAN RAFAEL, CA 94901: WUILMER NORBERTO DE LEON DE LEON, 3411 KERNER BOULEVARD, APT. 10, SAN RAFAEL, CA 94901. This business is being conducted by an individual. Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious business name(s) listed herein. This statement was filed with the County Clerk-Recorder of Marin County on January 14, 2010. (Publication Dates: February 5, 12, 19, 26, 2010)
997 All Other Legals SUMMONS - FAMILY LAW (Citacion Judicial-Derecho de Familia) Case Number (Numero del Caso): FL 09-2260. NOTICE TO RESPONDENT (Aviso al Demandado): MARCELO RAHMEIER: You are being sued. A usted le estan demandando. PETITIONER’S NAME IS (El nombre del demandante es): CANDEE BRIGGS. You have 30 calendar days after this Summons and Petition are served on you to file a Response (form FL-120 or FL-123) at the court and have a copy served on the petitioner. A letter or phone call will not protect you. If you do not file your Response on time, the court may make orders affecting your marriage or domestic partnership, your property, and custody of your children. You may be ordered to pay support and attorney fees and costs. If you cannot pay the filing fee, ask the clerk for a fee waiver form. If you want legal advice, contact a lawyer immediately. You can get information about finding lawyers at the California Courts Online Self-Help Center (www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp), at the California Legal Services Web site (www. lawhelpcalifornia.org), or by contacting your local county bar association. (Tiene 30 dð©as corridos después de haber recibido la entrega legal de esta Citacié n y Peticié n para presentar una Respuesta (formulario FL-120 é FL-123) ante la corte y efectuar la entrega legal de una copia al demandante. Una carta o llamada telefé nica no basta para protegerlo. Si no presenta su Respuesta a tiempo, la corte puede dar é rdenes que afecten su matrimonio o pareja de hecho, sus bienes y la custodia de sus hijos. La corte también le puede ordenar que pague manutencié n, y honorarios y costos legales. Si no puede pagar la cuota de presentacié n, pida al secretario un formulario de exencié n de cuotas. Si desea obtener asesoramiento legal, pé ngase en contacto de inmediato con un abogado. Puede obtener informacié n para encontrar a un abogado en el Centro de Ayuda de las Cortes de California (www.sucorte. ca.gov), en el sitio Web de los Servicios Legales de California (www.lawhelpcalifornia. org) o poniéndose en contacto con el colegio de abogados de su condado.) NOTICE: The restraining orders on page 2 are effective against both spouses or domestic partners until the petition is dismissed, a judgment is entered, or the court makes further orders. These orders are enforceable anywhere in California by any law enforcement officer who has received or seen a copy of them. (AVISO: Las é rdenes de restriccié n que figuran en la página 2 valen para ambos cé nyuges o pareja de hecho hasta que se despida la peticié n, se emita un fallo o la corte dé otras é rdenes. Cualquier autoridad de la ley que haya recibido o visto una copia de estas é rdenes puede hacerlas acatar en cualquier lugar de California.) NOTE: If a judgment or support order is entered, the court may order you to pay all or part of the fees and costs that the court waived for yourself or for the other party. If this happens, the party ordered to pay fees shall be given notice and an opportunity to request a hearing to set aside the order to pay waived court fees. AVISO: Si se emite un fallo u orden de manutencié n, la corte puede ordenar que usted pague parte de, o todas las cuotas y costos de la corte previamente exentas a peticié n de usted o de la otra parte. Si esto ocurre, la parte ordenada a pagar estas cuotas debe recibir aviso y la oportunidad de solicitar una audiencia para anular la orden de pagar las cuotas exentas. 1. The name and address of the court are (El nombre y direccié n de la corte son): YOLO COUNTY SUPERIOR COURT, YOLO SUPERIOR COURT, 725 COURT STREET, ROOM 103, WOODLAND, CA 95695. 2. The name, address, and telephone number of the petitionerâ ™s attorney, or the petitioner without an attorney, are: (El nombre, direccié n y número de teléfono del abogado del demandante, o del demandante si no tiene abogado, son): CANDEE BRIGGS, 24909
COUNTY ROAD #29, WINTERS, CA 95694; (530) 795-1695. Date (Fecha): December 8, 2009. Deputy (Asistente): James B. Perry by C. LAU. NOTICE TO THE PERSON SERVED: You are served (AVISO A LA PERSONA QUE RECIBIÓ LA ENTREGA: Esta entrega se realiza) as an individual (a usted como individuo.). (Pacific Sun: January 15, 22, 29; February 5, 2010) NOTICE OF PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF: JUDY ANN LOBREE. Case No. PR-1000166. To all heirs, beneficiaries, creditors, contingent creditors and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate, or both, of JUDY ANN LOBREE. A PETITION FOR PROBATE has been filed by: LYNN LOBREE in the Superior Court of California, County of MARIN. THE PETITION FOR PROBATE requests that LYNN LOBREE be appointed as personal representative to administer the estate of the decedent. THE PETITION requests the decedent’s will and codicils, if any, be admitted to probate. The will and any codicils are available for examination in the file kept by the court. THE PETITION requests authority to administer the estate under the Independent Administration of Estates Act. (This authority will allow the personal representative to take many actions without obtaining court approval. Before taking certain very important actions, however, the personal representative will be required to give notice to interested persons unless they have waived notice or consented to the proposed action.) The independent administration authority will be granted unless an interested person files an objection to the petition and shows good cause why the court should not grant the authority. A HEARING on the petition will be held in this court as follows: February 22, 2010 at 8:30 a.m. in Dept.: L, Room: L, of the Superior Court of California, Marin County, located at Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, San Rafael, CA. IF YOU OBJECT to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney. IF YOU ARE A CREDITOR or a contingent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative appointed by the court within four months from the date of first issuance of letters as provided in section 9100 of the California Probate Code. The time for filing claims will not expire before four months from the hearing date noticed above. YOU MAY EXAMINE the file kept by the court. If you are a person interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Request for Special Notice (form DE-154) of the filing of an inventory and appraisal of estate assets or of any petition or account as provided in Probate Code section 1250. A Request for Special Notice form is available from the court clerk. Attorney for Petitioner: LINDA J. HEADRICK (SBN#: 80171), 33484 ALVARADO NILES ROAD, UNION CITY, CA 94587. (510) 3248567. (Publication Dates: January 22, 29; February 5, 2010) SUMMONS (CITACION JUDICIAL) Case Number (Numero del Caso): PC 20090600 NOTICE TO DEFENDENT (AVISO AL DEMANDADO): STEVEN DANIEL STEIN, SUSIE CORL aka SUSAN CORL, BANK OF AMERICA, AND DOES 1 THROUGH 100, INCLUSIVE: YOU ARE BEING SUED BY PLAINTIFF: (LO ESTA DEMANDANDO EL DEMANDANTE): FIRST AMERICAN TITLE COMPANY. You have 30 CALENDAR DAYS after this Summons and legal papers are served on you to file a written response at this court and have a copy served on the plaintiff. A letter or phone call will not protect you; your written response must be in proper legal form if you want the court to hear your case. There may be a court form that you can use for your response. You can find these court forms and more information at the California Courts Online Self-help Center (www.courtinfo. ca.gov/selfhelp), your county law library, or the courthouse nearest you. If you cannot pay the filing fee, ask the court clerk for a fee waiver form. If you do not file your response on time, you may lose the case by default, and your wages, money and property may be taken without further warning from the court. There are other legal requirements. You may want to call an attorney right away. If you do not know an attorney, you may want to call an attorney referral service. If you cannot afford an attorney, you may be eligible for free legal services from a nonprofit legal services program. You can locate these nonprofit groups at the California Legal Services Web site (www. lawhelpcalifornia.org) the California Courts Online Self-help Center (www.courinfo.ca.gov/ selfhelp) or by contacting your local court or county bar association. NOTE: The court has a statutory lien for waived fees and costs on any settlement or arbitration award of $10,000 or more in a civil case. The courtâ ™s lien must be paid before the court will dismiss the case. AVISO: Lo han demando. Si no responde dentro de 30 dias, la corte puede decidir en su contra sin escucher su version. Lea la
informacion a continuacion. Tienne 30 DIAS CALENDARIO despues de que le entreguen esta citacion y papeles legales para presentar una respuesta por escrito en esta corte y hacer que se entregue una copia al demandante. Una carta o una llamada telefonica no lo protegen; su respuesta por escrito tiene que estar en formato legal correcto si desea que procesen su caso en la corte. Es posible que haya un formulario que usted pueda usar para su respuesta. Puede encontrar estos formularios de la corte y mas information en el Centro de Ayuda de las Cortes de California (www.sucorte.ca.gov) en la biblioteca de leyes de su condado o en la corte que le quede mas cerca. Si no puede pagar la cuota de presentacion, pida al secretario de la corte que le de un formulario de exencion de pago de cuotas. Si no presenta su respuesta a tiempo, puede perder el caso por incumplimiento, y la corte le podra quitar su sueldo, dinero y bienes sin mas advertencia. Hay otros requisitos legales. Es recomendable que llame a un abogado immediatamente. Si no conoce a un abogado, puede llamar a un servicio de remision de abogados. Si no puede pagar a un abogado, es posible que cumpla con los resquisitos para obtener servicios legales gratuitos de un programa de servicios legales sin fines de lucro. Puede encontrar estos grupos sin fines de lucro en el sitio web de California Legal Services, (www. lawhelpcalifornia.org) en el Centro de Ayuda de las Cortes de California. (www.sucorte. ca.gov) o poniendose en contacto con la corte o el colegio de abogados locales. AVISO: Por ley, la corte tiene derecho a reclamar las cuotas y los costos exentos por imponer un gravamen sobre cualquier recuperacié n de $10,000 é más de valor recibida mediante un acuerdo o una concesié n de arbitraje en un caso de derecho civil. Tiene que pagar el gravamen de la corte antes de que la corte pueda desechar el caso. The name and address of the court is: (El nombre y direccion de las corte es) El Dorado County Superior Court, 3321 Cameron Park Drive, Cameron Park, CA 95682. The name, address, and telephone number of plaintiff’s attorney is: (El nombre, la direccion y el numero de telefono del abogado del demandante es): William E. Barnes, (094791), Law Offices Of William E. Barnes, 1730 â œIâ ù Street, Suite 240, Sacramento, CA 95811-3017 (916) 4414007. Date (Fecha): September 24, 2009 /s/ Clerk (Secretario): by, C. DeRenne, Deputy Clerk (Adjunto) (Pacific Sun: January 22, 29; February 5, 12, 2010) ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF MARIN. No. CIV 1000522. TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner SCOTT JOSEPH KALECHSTEIN filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: SCOTT JOSEPH KALECHSTEIN to SCOTT KALECHSTEIN GRACE. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objection that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: March 24, 2010, 8:30 a.m., Dept. E, Room E, Superior Court of California, County of Marin, 3501 Civic Center Drive, Room 113, San Rafael, CA, 94913-4988. A copy of this ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in the county of Marin: PACIFIC SUN. Date: February 1, 2010 /s/ JAMES R. RITCHIE, JUDGE OF THE SUPERIOR COURT (Pacific Sun: February 5, 12, 19, 26, 2010)
Visit www.pacificsun.com for information on publishing your legal notice: FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME CHANGE OF NAME SALE OF PROPERTY PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE SUMMONS