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The Voice of Ohio’s LGBT and Ally Community
Kathy Griffin Talks Trump, Her Love for Ohio & Her Current Tour Also Inside Life of Pie
Savage Love
Equitas Speaks GOHI
april 2017 vol 21 • issue 10
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the health issue
vol 21 • #10
6. you are here
Do you ever get that feeling that the trees are going to remain in their winter-like skeleton form for eternity? Like the signs of Spring that we all SO desire will never come?
8. snapshot 9. qmunity
This year seems to be the worst - at least for us around the Outlook Ohio offices. We see Spring Flowers popping up all around us and then BAM! Snow!
10. Interview: Kathy Griffin 12. Equitas Health speaks
But - fear thee not, my friends, as it will be here soon enough. Soon, we will all be walking the Short North or The Flats or Riverwalk in shorts and flip-flops. We will be picking out exactly what we want to wear for Pride. Soon, we will be complaining that it is entirely too hot outside and all we want to do is stay in the air-conditioning.
13. Equitas Health speaks 14. life with pie 15. dyke like me
It’s kind of like our current political climate, really. For many, these are the dark times when the days seem short and cold and the nights seem to go on forever. When we are craving nothing more than that little ray of sunshine to fill us with the necessary Vitamin D that our bodies so crave. And like Winter, this, too will pass.
19. Equitas Health speaks
on the cover The lovely Miss Kathy Griffin graces our cover this month. We were lucky enough to have an interview with her where she talked about Politics, Her tour of Ohio, and much, much more. Flip to page 10 to read what she had to say!
next month:
the kink issue puzzling solution from puzzle on page 31
26. Interview: Mike Liggett 27. frivolist
And this is fact. Not alternative fact, but actual fact. So keep your heads up, friends! One day soon, it will be Spring again!
28. savage love 29. the divine life
Mike Moffo Man of Many Hats Outlook Ohio
31. puzzler PUBLISHER CHRISTOPHER HAYES
ART DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER HAYES
HEADQUARTERS OUTLOOK MEDIA, INC. 815 N. HIGH ST., SUITE G COLUMBUS, OHIO, 43215 614.268.8525 PHONE / 614.261.8200 FAX
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The Next Step
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EDITORS MIKE MOFFO/STALEY MUNROE/BRAD HENRY
OUTLOOK IS A FREE PUBLICATION SOLELY FOR THE USE OF OUR READERS. ANY PERSON WHO WILLFULLY OR KNOWINGLY OBTAINS OR EXCONTRIBUTING WRITERS DEBÉ, JENI JONES-HIGGINS, DAN SAVAGE, STA- ERTS UNAUTHORIZED CONTROL OVER MORE LEY MUNROE, BRAD HENRY, BROOKE CARTUS, THAN FIVE COPIES OF ANY ISSUE WITH THE INTENT TO PREVENT OTHERS FROM READING ANDREW KELLER, AARON LEVETHAL, DEBRA SHADE SHALL BE CONSIDERED GUILTY OF THE CRIME
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OF THEFT. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED. THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN OUTLOOK ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHORS AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS, POLICIES, OR PERSONAL, BUSINESS, OR PROFESSIONAL PRACTICES OF OUTLOOK MEDIA, INC. OR ITS STAFF, OWNERSHIP, OR MANAGEMENT. OUTLOOK MEDIA, INC. DOES NOT INVESTIGATE OR ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR CLAIMS MADE IN ANY ADVERTISEMENT. OUTLOOK MEDIA, INC. ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR CLAIMS ARISING IN CONNECTION WITH PRODUCTS AND SERVICES ADVERTISED, NOR FOR THE CONTENT OF, OR REPLY TO, ANY ADVERTISEMENT. ALL MATERIAL IS COPYRIGHTED ©2017 OUTLOOK MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Equitas Bar Crawl
Equitas Bar Crawl
Equitas Bar Crawl
Ms Gay Heart of Ohio
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11th Circuit: Title VII doesn't protect lesbian plaintiff against discrimination Jameka Evans who sued her employer, Georgia Regional Hospital, under Title VII, lost her case. The 11th Circuit Court ruled that are not prohibited from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation.
Surprise Porn: It’s Not Just On Your Computers Anymore A lesbian porn movie was accidentally played on a giant screen in the middle of a vote count at a polling station during the Dutch elections. The lesbian sex scene was acidentally shows while the vote count was happening in the city of Enschede.
71 Legislators File Motion in Lesbian Divorce Case
Caught up in the Travel Ban NPR reached an Iranian transgender asylum seeker in the Iraqi City of Irbil, just as he realized his hopes of reaching the US would almost certainly be dashed by the revised executive order.
Wave of Vandalism, Violence Hits LGBTQ Centers Across Nation In February and March, a spate of hate incidents occurred at LGBTQ community centers and similar venues across the nation, in a trend that has gone underreported.
Lesbian Couple Who Crowdfunded to have a child reveal they are expecting A lesbian couple who asked strangers to bankroll their pregnancy have revealed that they are expecting a baby.
After a first motion to intervene in a lesiblian couple’s custody battle in Knoxville went nowhere, the Family Action Council of Tennessee is back with a second try to prevent a non-biological female parent from being considered the parent of her child.
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Kathy Griffin Gives It To Us!
With Staley Munroe (After genuine greetings and niceties, Kathy jumped immediately into her opinion of the current administration...) KG: "We are at war with this fucking administration. There's a cast of characters that look like the final days of "intervention," knocking down one group at a time from women to immigrants - and I don't think Trump has really gone after the LGBT's in the way he is GOING to go for them. It's coming! This Cheet-Oh and his creative cast of characters will do some sort of travel banlevel bullshit to the LGBTQ community and then, WATCH OUT. He doesn't believe in equality at all, and I really feel like he is going to pick the wrong battle with the LGBTQ community, and he is NOT prepared for the fight that he'll have in front of him. I really think this is the LGBTQ community's moment, just as we are seeing every community really rise to the occasion, (including the more awakened and informed millennials who we still like to make fun of but who are still out there marching in the rain) - and this is one of the things that I, as a chick and a feminist, so admire about the community - when the chips are down, the LGBT community/allies gets together, mobilizes, and really does stuff! Like writes bills, passes legislation, making meaningful change - and this is the time! SM: You're coming to Columbus Thursday, the 23rd of March, 8pm, at the Ohio Theatre - What sort of things can we expect from this show? KG: What I'm very proud of is I have ALLL NEW MATERIAL! I recently wrote a book called "Kathy Griffin Celebrity Run-In's," and am touring 50 cities, and want everyone to know that if you paid your good hard earned money for the book, you're gonna see all new, different material on stage. I've had so many insane and crazy celebrity run-ins recently that I LOVE to tell my audiences about - everything from my own personal encounters with Trump over the years (which were how shall I say, "special"), to when I recently moved out of my house from "My Life on 10
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the D List" into a new house to be closer to my Mom - and wound up being next door neighbors with Kim Kardashian and Keyne West! (That was unplanned, cause even I'm not crazy enough to buy a house purposely next to someone like that.) But it is fun, crazy, and I love to share about it! For example, I got to go to the Clive Davis pre-grammy party last weekend, and I was in line for the red carpet in between the great Judy Collins and Courtney Love, and together we decided to form our version of the Taylor Swift girl squad, because, I'll tell ya, when you're in the trenches, you want Courtney Love on your team! So after going to all these events and touring like crazy, what you can expect on stage is for me to keep it all very improvisational. I go on at 8pm, and I can honestly say I never *really* know what I'm going to say until about 5' til 8pm. I like to keep it super political and up to date, so I'm on my iPad right up til the show, bc I never know what will happen to me while in the town that I can share! I love to treat every show differently, as every market is different. Every audience is special, and every audience has a different vibe. SM: Have you been to Ohio many times before, and if so what do you love to do? KG: Oh YES! If I know I'm going to Columbus, Cincinnati, Cleveland, I know at some point I'll get to visit Grandpa's Cheese Barn! (Ashland, OH.) It's literally a barn full of cheese with a diner, and as you know, in CA you're not allowed to eat cheese or carbs... so sometimes at Grandpa's Cheese Barn I go a little crazy and buy three pies - I don't even eat them, I'm just so drunk with excitement to be in Ohio where you can actually have a pie... cause in CA, they'll just arrest you. They'll chuck the pie over that wall that they wanna build (but never will)! SM: Is there anything Columbus could do to make your visit more amazing? KG: JUST SHOW UP AND LAUGH AT MY JOKES! There's no Outlook Ohio
better gift than to come to the show and everybody has a great time! The gift is to give me latitude - I come from a place in the comedian world where I like to push the envelope. I am not afraid of a walk out, I'm not afraid of rude people, and I am not afraid to offend the Great State of Ohio! So I hope everyone just comes to the show with a very open mind. I also want to say to the LGBTQ2345Caitlyns's of Ohio - If you are in a town where you are feeling any oppression, or if you are wherever it is you have to deal with whatever the hell Rob Portman did that day (cause you know we gotta get him outta there), remember that you can come to my show, calm down, and relax - because together we will be "wrong," raw, inappropriate, blow off some steam, call outlookohio.com
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some people names - and hopefully we will all laugh (and pee a little) in the process.
was getting pissed off! After all this wasn't a down and dirty club, this was a NICE performing arts center! Finally security bounces the guy out, drunk and mad. I'm actually kind of proud of a walk out - and I've found now that people know it's more serious, so when people do things like that, the entire audience really rises up, boo's, and cheers in favor of getting rid of the hecklers, but it wasn't like that before!
SM: How has the heightened political atmosphere and the new administration impacted you personally, and has it been good or bad for your career in comedy? KG: That's a great question because it is a very unusual time. I've been doing stand-up for so long that I've gone through different phases. During the Bill Clinton years, it was great, because he was a normal type of president who knew the jokes came along with the praise - and you could say anything! Then 9/11 happened, and I couldn't make even the slightest "W" joke. All of a sudden, W was this perfect guy, and when I would be doing shows making fun of W (cause he's a moron) I would get walk outs and death threats! I remember one time back in my club days the FBI had to come with the bomb dogs because I would got bomb threats! Now it's a little bit like that, but believe it or not on a much more heightened level. Here's my favorite example - I was doing a show in Clearwater FL where all the scientologists are, (shocker) in a very nice theatre, when this guy stood up in the balcony (clearly the straight husband dragged there by the wife who loves me). He started shouting "Make America Great Again" while I was talking about Trump but he started yelling it so much that the entire theatre
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People see my name on the ticket, so they have to know what they're in for - but at the same time I have to keep in mind that 62 million people voted for this fool - and since I'm always trying to figure out a way to make fun of Trump, and as my friend Cher says, (though she refers to him as "Toilet,") *begins hilarious Cher impression voice* "I actually have real feelings of empathy for the trump voters bc they honestly don't know what this fool's going to do!" So I've made a personal decision that I am now going to go way more balls to the wall in my shows! As I'm 56 years old, a woman, not beholden to a network and have all this great creative freedom, I'm really going to go for it more than ever! I'll call him every name in the book, doing everything from reading tweets from the deplorables that want to kill me, to my own stories of him, to the "Bowling Green Massacre" that didn't happen.
Conway, "bitch, when you go to gucci, you don't wear the entire mannequin! It's called an accent piece, honey!" And interesting how in this environment even THAT joke could get somebody to storm out. I don't want to say I don't care, bc of course I care, but it really is just such an extreme time - and throughout history (as you know I was very good friends with Joan Rivers and still am very good friends with Don Rickles) comedians know it's times like these that are important for all comics to stand up for what's right and go balls to the wall. It's not everyone's thing - I know it's not ellen's thing and I totally get that and respect that - but as I'm someone way more under the radar than Ellen, it gives me more latitude to have fun! So now I say "Come to one of my shows, bc I'm worse than ever!" I've had it, and everyone else is gonna hear about it. SM: Let's play the "Fuck, Marry, Kill," game, with President Obama, Trump, and Abraham Lincoln. Go. KG: Oh, I'd fuck Obama, no doubt! Well, obviously I just want to BE Michelle Obama like every other guy I know. We can "kill" Trump. Wait, on second thought, I would pity fuck Lincoln so I could marry Obama. Pity fuck's get a bad name, I've actually had some pity fucks that were beyond satisfying.
Now if I may be bitchy for just one second, you KNOW there are no gays around that administration worth their salt, bc someone would have said to Kelly Ann
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Empowering Yourself as a Patient
Ramona Peel, MA Lead Trainer & Trans Patient Navigator, Equitas Health Institute for LGBTQ Health Equity Pronouns: She/Her/Hers
You interpersonal effectiveness with your provider is also something that you can control. Many people find that expressing feelings or opinions in the context of “I want” rather than “you should” is a helpful strategy, as is asserting yourself by asking for what you want or saying no clearly. Appearing more confident in your tone of voice, maintaining good eye contact, and using neutral or positive body language are among the other tactics that have proven to be effective.
Close your eyes. Imagine yourself in a doctor’s office. You look around, and you don’t see any indications that someone like you is welcome. No pride flags or stickers. Straight couples are splashed all over the brochures and magazines on the table in front of you. On your intake form, there’s no option that represents your gender identity or sexual orientation. When it’s your turn to see the doctor, the receptionist calls out a name that you don’t use any more. How do you feel? If you’re part of the LGBTQ community, you’ve probably been faced with a health care environment that isn’t inclusive or welcoming. According to a comprehensive 2009 study conducted by Lambda Legal, 56 percent of LGB respondents and 70 percent of trans or gender non-conforming respondents reported experiencing at least one of the following types of discrimination in health care settings: being refused care; health care providers refusing to touch them or using excessive precautions; being addressed with harsh or abusive language; being blamed for their health and/or HIV status; or providers being physically rough or abusive.
Practicing basic mindfulness skills can also be beneficial. One method is emotional regulation, which can be helpful in stressful situations. This starts by observing your emotions without judgment or suppression, and also includes being mindful of where in your body you are feeling emotional sensations. This will help you remember that you can feel an emotion, but that doesn’t mean that you have to act upon that emotion. Also, remember that you are completely free to tell your provider that you need to take a break for a drink of water, or to collect your thoughts, or to use the restroom. If you’d like an opportunity to learn more, or to put these ideas into practice, contact me at ramonapeel@equitashealth.com for information on how to register for upcoming workshops.
This is shocking but perhaps not surprising. According to a 2011 study, only about 5 hours are spent on average over the entirety of clinical medical school training on LGBTQ-specific issues. In addition, about 80 percent of first-year medical students expressed some form of bias against lesbians and gays in a 2015 study by the National Institutes of Health. Given all of these obstacles, even if one is able to gain access to health care as a queer-identified person, there is little guarantee that the care received will be provided in a culturally competent manner. There is a desperate need for providers to undergo that sort of training (that is both frequent and of high quality), but what can you do as a patient to make sure that you get the best possible care? First, it’s important to know your rights as a patient. Despite the uncertainty surrounding the future of the Affordable Care Act, you still have certain protections under the law. Perhaps the most important of these are the rules under HIPAA (The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act). HIPAA, among other things, protects the privacy of all your personally identifiable information. This includes things like your sexual orientation, gender identity, and sex assigned at birth. For example, if a doctor asks you if he or she can bring in medical students to “learn about you,” you have every right to say no under HIPAA regulations. Mentally preparing yourself before an appointment can be helpful, too. Before your appointment, write down a list of questions you want your doctor to answer. It can also be helpful to visualize scenarios that might come up during an appointment and practice how you’d like to respond to them. Remember that you have the right to refuse a suggested plan of action from your doctor, and you have the right to change your mind. You can also insist upon an explanation for a recommended course of action, and you can correct providers when they get information wrong. 12
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equitas health speaks
LGBTQ Healthcare is Primary Care
Jessica Sherman, Certified Nurse Practitioner Equitas Health Pronouns: She/Her/Her Jessica is a nurse practitioner at the Equitas Health Short North & King-Lincoln Medical Centers and is accepting new patients. At Equitas Health we believe LGBTQ healthcare is primary care. Our goal is to improve the health of the LGBTQ community by providing culturally competent, patient-centered care that meets the varied needs of those we serve. We recognize the acronym “LGBTQ” encompasses an extraordinarily diverse group of individuals and that this diversity extends beyond sexual orientation and gender identity. This diversity is reflected in the patients we see at Equitas Health. On a given day, I may see an affluent, gay, African American man for PrEP. My next appointment might be with a young women struggling with drug addiction and depression. The next visit may be a person from a small town who is not “out” and is afraid to seek health care in their community. Next could be a young transgender person who needs medication for high blood pressure. Followed by a young gay male newly diagnosed with HIV. I may end my day with a middle-aged woman here with her wife so they can learn about her diabetes together. What ties these patients together are their shared experiences of marginalization and discrimination as sexual and gender minorities. There is a long history of this marginalization and discrimination manifesting in healthcare. Feeling misunderstood, judged or unwelcome has shaped the health-seeking behaviors of many members of the community, and has led to serious health disparities between LGBTQ individuals and the population at large. A lack of culturally competent care has been the main driver of these disparioutlookohio.com
ties. Many providers remain uncomfortable caring for LGBTQ people, and are unfamiliar with the challenges faced by these groups. As a result, many of my patients have a long history of negative interactions with the healthcare system. They feel uncomfortable and judged. Often, they find themselves pushed into treatment paths that are not relevant to their personal circumstances. One of my patients memorably described being lectured by her provider for twenty minutes on birth control, even though she does not partner with men. My gay male patients often find that HIV is the only thing a provider wants to talk about with them, frequently to the exclusion of the concerns that actually brought them to the office. This may not seem like a big deal. But when patients feel judged and uncomfortable, they don’t share information that we need to plan effective care. Even worse, they don’t come back. This ineffective care and disengagement leads to poor health. Addressing this issue is our main focus. We strive to embrace diversity, and to create a safe and welcoming environment. This starts from the moment you walk in the door. We use inclusive language on our forms. We ask which pronouns are appropriate and allow patients to tell us how they identify themselves both in gender and sexuality. Our staff reflects the diverse community we serve. All of these things make patients feel safe and at ease before they even enter the exam room. In the exam room, my goal is first and foremost to listen. I listen to each patient’s experiences, their concerns, and their goals for their health. I use what I learn to develop a relevant and achievable plan of care. For example, if a patient is a smoker, and primarily smokes as a way of coping with crippling anxiety, I will not simply lecture the patient on quitting smoking. Instead, I will work with them to address the anxiety issues that make quitting smoking a huge challenge. This is how we get the
best outcomes for our patients. By listening and developing plans that are relevant and realistic. We have to meet patients where they are at. This kind of patient-centered approach is crucial to keep patients engaged in care and improve health. I also aim to create a welcoming environment in the exam room. I use inclusive language. I may ask “do you have a partner?” rather than “are you married?” I will often ask a patient which pronouns they use or how they identify. I also make sure my patients know I am not perfect and that if I use a language that makes them uncomfortable they should absolutely tell me! Beyond using correct language - I strive to create a relationship of trust and openness with my patients. This way they feel comfortable sharing information with me and asking questions.
The Voice of Ohio’s LGBT and Ally Community
Our experience thus far has shown our approach works. Since we expanded our mission to be a healthcare home for the LGBTQ community, our patient base has grown rapidly. We have patients that come from all over Ohio because they feel welcome and comfortable seeking care. I’ve had patients tell me how nice it is to feel like they finally have place that is their own, that is dedicated to addressing their needs. At the end of visits I tell my patients “My door is always open - I’m here if you have questions.” At Equitas Health, we believe LGBTQ healthcare is primary care. Our door is open. When you’re ready, we’re here to provide you with high quality, culturally competent and individualized care.
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A Note on Gardening
life with pie
by Miss Jeni Pie
A Note on Gardening The cutesy name for gardening is “dirt therapy”, and practitioners swear they’re happiest while in the garden. And for good reason; not only are they getting their doses of Vitamin D, but also, the bacteria Mycobacterium Vaccae lives in the soil and has been found to have the same effect on neurons as anti-depressants such as Prozac. “SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, MISS PIE!” I can almost hear you exclaim. I will not! Yeah, the actual dirt has for real anti-depressant qualities gardeners inhale and get up all inside that relax them, and could be responsible for blissing them out. If you’ve ever gardened, worked on the lawn, or played in the dirt, you might be aware of this sensation. That happiness that doesn’t just come from a tough job well done, knowing you’ve beautified your environment, or you’ve invested in making the future a little better with homegrown food or flora (though all of these things are absolutely rad). There’s something more going on, a certain je ne sais quoi , if you will (and I know you will). Besides chemistry, also happening is a consciousness of being in the moment and the present. Certainly, the gardener is planting and planning for the future, because plants, well... grow in time. But, they are 14
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also planting for the present. A gardener is aware of their body, of their environment, of feelings, sensations, all at the same time, and without judgment. Well, I actually judge my knees because I apparently have the joints of a 75 year old lady (and her soul, too, but that’s a whole other story). But you understand what I’m saying. I don’t know how many times I’ve been outside, flashing my knickers as the ass of my jeans sagged down. Clad in a grubby t-shirt, a scarf protecting the coiffure, in the back pocket a bandanna for the inevitable sweaty forehead/runny nose combination (she lives such a glamorous life!!!), and old tennis shoes, green with grass and permanently mud-stained; fully aware of the crazy image I’m presenting AND YET NOT CARING ONE LICK as I’m singing along with my playlist and trying to pull up tenacious weeds. Once, while getting garden stakes off the patio, I even tap danced a routine I learned in High School to a Glenn Miller song. It wasn’t until I got to the kick line (which I was doing by myself) that I realized my neighbors were watching. That was a time I wasn’t too mindful of my environment, I guess. Meh.
gion. After years of attempting orderly, traditional gardens I have realized that I will be better with a (contained) wild, natural approach. Letting go tight control of perfection is symbolic of my attitude toward many things in my life. I’m realizing it’s far better to rainbows yet?). be grateful and mindful than it is to OR, if you don’t want to do any of be perfect. this, you could always visit the GarSo, play in the dirt this spring. Plant den on High Street. something wonderful, even if it’s one flower in a pot or a whole landscape design. Be in the present, and the future will be rewarded with beauty and graciousness (puking
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Jeni Pie puts the A in LGBTQA and is a fan of all things culture. She is also a cross-stitch artist. You can find much of her work displayed in different art shows around the city.
What I’m saying is that it’s really easy to lose yourself in the garden; to let go, and just be, and breathe the air, and work on something lovely. And it’s pretty awesome. This year, I am planning a pollinator garden using wildflower and grass seeds native to the Central Ohio reOutlook Ohio
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dyke like me
How To Talk To Transphobic Jerks About Bathroom Bills by Brooke Cartus
BATHROOM BILLS. You’ve seen them. You’ve heard about them. You’ve screamed about them. (Well… I have.) In the 2017 legislative session (and we are only in April, folks), 14 states have already introduced legislation that restricts bathroom access for trans folks. These bills restrict access in unique ways- by circumventing basic human rights with claiming these bills PROTECT WOMEN AND CHILDREN FROM PREDATORS. They range from state to state on language, some required “bathroom attendants” to monitor bathroom participants (how you check gender at the door is beyond me) or requiring same sex bathrooms while adding a provision defining gender as the “biological sex you were assigned at birth” (which is also arbitrary as many in the population who are intersex are assigned a gender out of habit, convenience, and/or shame.) Let’s break down the other side’s arguments for why these bathroom bills are needed. First, let’s talk about how the GOP wants to protect women. FINALLY! Not our right to choose, not our right to control our bodies, or our right to prosecute those who hurt us, but yes!!!!! Protection from bathroom murderers. You know how many times as a woman I have been in a bathroom stall, and a rapist dressed in drag came barreling in to assault me? Oh wait. That has never happened- because those men don’t feel like they need to disguise themselves in order to overpower and control and hurt women. That’s what we call, my friends, the patriarchy. Men who want to hurt/rape/kill women in bathroom stalls aren’t going to say, “Oh wait! I outlookohio.com
have to run by Sally’s Beauty and grab a chestnut wig that compliments my skin tone before I enter this public restroom to attempt to hurt someone.” But Brooke, what about the children? Yes. These bills are pandering to the lowest common denominator by saying, “Don’t you want to protect the kids? The poor, defenseless kids? What about locker rooms? What about a trans kid who has genitalia that doesn’t fit my preconceived notion of biological sex is in a space not originally designated for that child?” Last time I checked, it doesn’t matter. Locker rooms are designed for three things: storing old bananas, putting your sports bra on under your shirt, and putting on mismatched socks. No kid is going to go through the brutal process of identifying as trans just to use a locker room that makes your kid uncomfortable. You think a kid just wakes up and says “Oops! I’m trans.” Many children go through years of counseling, and have support from their parents, family, and friends in order to identify as the gender they feel they are inside. WHAT RIGHT IS IT OF YOURS TO TELL THEM OTHERWISE? If your shitty kid is nervous about another kid’s genitals, tell them to f*cking mind their own business and use the locker room to CHANGE AND THAT’S IT. Your crotch, your business. And frankly, the sooner your kid realizes that, the more likely they will succeed in life. It will be awkward if they are sticking their noses in other people’s crotches for the rest of their life. They probably won’t make a ton of friends.
attorney general specific instructions to investigate “violations” of these laws, again proving this administration is making space for bullies and bigots to use trans panic like so many bigots use gay panic in the 80’s and 90’s. Newsflash: the attorney general doesn’t need special permission to look into “violations” like this… this language is added to SCARE trans folks and the parents of trans children. To push them back in the closet, and more likely, off roofs and bridges. So look up your state’s 2017 legislative agenda (Ohio… the bathroom bill is coming…), make some calls, and most importantly, talk to people
who maybe don’t understand the discriminatory impact of these bills. Show them that this “safety” argument is another rouse by hateful bigots who only want to protect women and children when it suits their political agenda. Trans folks work so hard to be who they are. Let’s not stand in their way. Let’s stand with them. Brooke Cartus is a chapstick lesbian with a law degree. You can find more of her writing on her blog, Size L for Lady, at brookecartus.com. Look for Dyke Like Me every month in Outlook.
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equitas speaks
minded of in today’s current political climate.
WHAT THIS YEARÊS AIDS WALK OHIO MEANS FOR OUR COMMUNITY
This year I walk because we need to be visible as a community once again. We can’t afford to wait and see what’s next, we have to show up everywhere we can. We have to rally the troops and circle the wagons as some of my friends would say. We need to channel our activist roots and put on a public demonstration that HIV and access to healthcare for LGBTQ people matters. That we know how to stand together and fight to ensure that our basic human rights are inalienable and that they are not up for vote. We can’t do that without each of you reading this joining us and inviting your friends and family to join you and participate, so that we can be seen and our voices be heard.
Joel Diaz, Chief Marketing & Community Affairs Officer Equitas Health Pronouns: He/Him/His
Every year for the past 14 years I have participated in some type of AIDS Walk event. It all started when I was a junior at OSU and was competitive enough that I wanted to be the top fundraiser in my fraternity. I remember running the 5K that year and feeling good about giving back to a cause I believed in. Each of us have our own reasons for why we walk but this particular year I’m reminded of the origins of AIDS Walk events and why they remain so important for our community. When the first AIDS Walk events took place, they did so because there were no events to help raise awareness or funds for HIV/AIDS. These were the very dark days of the epidemic when people would wake up and scan the obituaries to see who they had lost that week. Those were the days when AIDS activists would host sit-ins, protest and raise hell to be heard. From the stories I’ve heard by those who helped start the first events, there was also a lot of fear and stigma in those days, something I’m re-
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AIDS Walk events were designed to be community events and we need to remember that we are a strong HIV and LGBTQ community with many allies ready to join us as we walk, run or ride this year as one. Lastly we walk for those we have lost and for those who are HIV survivors, we walk to raise funds to help care for those living with HIV and to prevent new HIV infections from occurring. We walk until there’s a cure. It’s easy to get involved, AIDS Walk Ohio events will take place in Columbus, Dayton, and Toledo. To register visit aidswalkohio.com or you can register that day on-site. AIDS Walk Central Ohio April 15 | McFerson Commons AIDS Walk Greater Dayton April 22 | Fifth Third Field Plaza AIDS Walk Greater Toledo April 29 | Ottawa Park.
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An Evening with Dr. Karen McClintock and My Father’s Closet
The McClintock family appeared the same as many Midwestern, postWorld War II booming suburban families. Dad was a veteran with a job at The Ohio State University. They had a little brick house at the end of a quiet street and Mom worked at the local library and raised the children. It wasn’t until thirty years after her father’s death that Dr. Karen McClintock found herself reading a journal entry from her father describing having sex with another man and she set out to find the gay father she never knew. The Gay Ohio History Initiative (GOHI) works to preserve and present Ohio’s LGBTQ history. Along with collecting, displaying, and researching historical materials, there are many additional ways we engage the LGBTQ community to tell the story of Ohio’s gay history. That is why we are very excited to host Dr. Karen McClintock to discuss her new book, My Father’s Closet, on April 19th. Dr. McClintock is an acclaimed psychologist and author whose research focuses on eradicating sexual shame. She began as a minister working with grieving HIV/AIDS patients and medical staff during the AIDS crisis before she was even aware of her father’s own secret life. My Father’s Closet is her chance to discover the story of her own family’s secrets and tell a complicated tale of infidelity, heartbreaking loss and loyalty through love. We were able to read an advance copy of the book and speak with Dr. McClintock. Located in Columbus, My Father’s Closet is ultimately a story of a family that loves and respects one another. In a genre that all too often suffers from salacious, lowestcommon-denominator tales of intrigue and infidelity, Dr. McClintock’s background as a psychologist and minister sets her narrative apart. My Father’s Closet deals honestly and openly about what develops into an incredibly complex family history. Dr. McClintock’s parents keep her father’s interest in men and eventually his long-term relationship with a man named Walther secret for practically their entire lives. As Dr. McClintock reminds us, her parents “were very good at this shell game” of secrecy. Eventually though, those secrets take its toll on both parents. A mother forced to live a celibate life and a father forced to live with the fear of shame and losing the family he loved. As Dr. McClintock described, “His staying in the closet was essential to staying my parent.” This is a story too nuanced to allow for a constant protagonist or antagonist and Dr. McClintock’s years of experience explain that exquisitely. The story is a wonderful example of the many types of love in the world. As Dr. McClintock explains, her father and mother did share a love, “A kind of love that is full re-
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spect and regard for the soul of the other person; and they had that till the end.” However, the love between Walther and Dr. McClintock’s father is just as palpable. We know they met while working at Ohio State together and shared their love of the arts and New York City. When their relationship is abruptly (and heartbreakingly) ended, we see through tragic grief the depth and sincerity of her father and Walther’s love. Finally, we see the love of family. Dr. McClintock shares the story of a charmed childhood and a father that “believed in me and was delighted I was living my life.” Through the eyes of love, we begin to understand Dr. McClintock’s complicated and practically unknown family history. That is probably why when we asked Dr. McClintock what she wants to say to today’s LGBTQ community, she simply responded, “We need you to keep loving and we need you to keep speaking the truth.” Please join us to hear Dr. Karen McClintock discuss her story and answer your questions April 19th at the Ohio History Center (800 E. 17th Ave. Columbus, OH 43211). Doors open at 6:30pm, event begins at 7pm. Please stay for coffee, cookies and discussion after the program. Complete event information can be found at www.ohiohistory.org/myfatherscloset. The Ohio State University’s Trillium Press will release My Father’s Closet April 15th. You can pre-order your copy now at www.ohiostatepress.org. For more information about the book and Dr. McClintock visit www.karenmcclintockauthor.com.
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Out & About in
Northwest Ohio Toledo & Surrounding Areas
This Karaoke party happens every Wednesday 43614. You’ll be enjoying live ennight from 10-2:30a. tertainment, appetizers and great Thursday April 6 Ladies of The Phantom of the Opera @ company as you taste some Valentine Theatre, 410 Adams St, Toledo, wonderful wines. The first 100 guests receive 43604. Three of the most popular a complimentary wine tote. Tickets are $35. “Christines,” from The Phantom will be More info at stranahantheatre.org. 5pm. singing everything from classic pieces to The Beatles. Think The Three Tennors, but funnier, Thursday April 20 cooler and with better dresses. Tickets range Chicago @ Stranahan Theatre 4645 from $38-$68. More info @ www.valenHeatherdowns Blvd, Toledo, 43614. It’s one of Wednesday April 5 the longest running shows on Broadway for a Karaoke Party with Dj Lil Ang and Julie Miller tinetheatre.com. 7:30pm. reason. The songs and catchy and the char@ R-House, 5534 Secor Rd, Toledo, 43623. acters are compelling. The hit show is going Singing with friends is a great way to get into Saturday April 8 Bottled Up Wine Festival @ Stranahan The- to be in town until April 23. Tickets are $43the spring state of mind. You don’t have to be a great singer. You just need to have fun. atre, 4645 Heatherdowns Blvd, Toledo, $88. More info @ stranahantheatre.org. 8pm Saturday April 1 Bretz 30th Anniversary @ Bretz Nigthclub, 2012 Adams St, Toledo. Has it been 30 years already? We’ve had so much fun there that we haven’t noticed how much time has passed since a small group of friends got together in 1987 to talk about how to create quality nightlife in Toledo. Don’t miss their big birthday celebration. Facebook.com/bretz.bar for more info. 8pm
Thursday April 27 PFLAG Toledo Support Meeting @ Park Church, 1456 Harvard Blvd., Toledo, 43614; pflag-toledo.org. The group for parents, friends, family, and allies meets on the fourth Thursday of every month. 7pm. Facebook.com/bretz.bar for more info. 8pm
Western Ohio Out & About in
Dayton & Surrounding Areas
Saturday April 8 Friday April 14th Motown The Musical @ Victoria Theatre. 138 N Main St, Dayton. The music of Motown will fill your soul as the Broadway hit comes to Dayton. The story of Motown founder Barry Gordy contains hits from The Supremes, The Jackson 5 and The Temptations. The show runs from April 11th-16th. Tickets are $30-$97 and are available at victoriatheatre.com. 8pm. Saturday April 8 DJ Sasha at Masque Nightclub. Hosted by 3DMentional Entertainment, Sasha brings his Another Trip Around The Sun party to Masque. Tickets can be purchased by going to https://www.wantickets.com/Events/218321/ Another-Trip-Around-the-Sun/ Sunday April 9 Karaoke @ Mj’s on Jefferson, 20 N. Jefferson St, Dayton, 45402, 937.223.3259. Every Tuesday and Sunday get ready to release your inner singing diva loud and outlookohio.com
proud. The fun starts at 10pm. Tuesday April 11 PFLAG Dayton Monthly Meeting @ Harmony Creek Church, Dayton, 45450, 937.434.3941, harmonycreekchurch.org. The monthly meeting of this group for families, friends and allies of the LGBT community happens the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 7pm. Friday April 14 Motown The Musical @ Victoria Theatre. 138 N Main St, Dayton. The music of Motown will fill your soul as the Broadway hit comes to Dayton. The story of Motown founder Barry Gordy contains hits from The Supremes, The Jackson 5 and The Temptations. The show runs from April 11th-16th. Tickets are $30-$97 and are available at victoriatheatre.com. 8pm. Tuesday April 18 Miami Valley Prime Timers’-Friends of Italian Opera Dinner Group @ The
Spaghetti Warehouse, 36 W 5th St, Dayton, 45402 The group for mature gay and bi men meets every Tuesday at 6pm to have dinner. The dinner is open to anyone who is “gay friendly.” Don’t let the “opera,” fool you. Its name comes from an in-joke in Some Like It Hot. There’s no need to RSVP for this, just be at the restaurant by 6:15 to join in.
stage by The Human Race Theatre Co. Tickets are $25. https://humanracetheatre.org/ 8pm. Monday May 8 Monday, MAY 8th! Make your calendars! It's the Miss Masque Newcomer 2017 Pageant!!!! Honoring Zhane Dawlingz. Packets are available now. Contact Christophor Adkins for information.
Saturday April 29 Thurgood @ Caryl D. Philips Creativity Center, 116 N Jefferson St, Dayton 45402. This play follows the life and career of the first African-American Supreme Court Justice. The inspiring and funny moments that shaped this remarkable man are performed on
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bus, 43215; 614.291.4008; bearvillities.org. This fun show will be hosted by Miss Gay Ohio, Brittney Blair. She’ll be raising all kinds of havoc and making It a fun adult show to help the kids at Kaleidoscope. $10-$50. 7pm.
around the world. There will be acrobats, contortionists, and aerial flyers to name a few. $25-68. 8pm.
Nina and Virginia West will be dishing up the fun along with the guys. $10$60. 8pm.
SATRUDAY APRIL 8 SATRUDAY APRIL 29 The Columbus Coyotes Rugby TurnDeepak Chopra @ Mershon AuditoColumbus-land and Surrounding Area about Show @ AXIS Nightclub, 775 N. rium, 1871 N. High St., Columbus, High St., Columbus, 43215; 43210; wexarts.org/special SATRUDAY APRIL 8 the show. Leave your troubles outSATRUDAY APRIL 1 614.291.4008; Eventbrite.com/0/axis- events/deepak- chopra. The New York Cirque De La Symphony @ Ohio TheCabaret @ Ohio Theatre, 39 E. State side and enjoy this great show. $39club- 4208179489. It’s a win win atre, 39 E. State St., Columbus, Times best selling author will be sharStreet, Columbus, 43215: capa.com. $79. 7:30pm. for everyone who attends. You get to 43215, columbussymphony.com. The ing new insights from his latest book The 50 th anniversary tour of this see your favorite men from the Coyotes You Are the Universe. He will, also, be Columbus Symphony Orchestra will Broadway classic stars Sam Mendes SATRUDAY APRIL 1 get in drag and they get your donaperform some of the most prominent discussing how to find mindfulness BEARvillties presents BEARYTALES – (Skyfall, American Beauty) and Rob tions to help them attend the largest works from popular composers’ while and balance in these hectic times. Marshall’s (Into the Woods, Chicago) Benefiting Kaleidoscope @ AXIS international gay rugby tournament in $35. 4pm showcasing some of the most Tony Award-winning production of Nightclub, 775 N. High St., Columthe world, the 2018 Bingham Cup. accomplished cirque veterans from Out & tival Film Screening of Monday April 3 About in Out & Dish and Dig: LGBTQ+ Tamara @ Lincoln Tap About in house and Tower City Cine- Youth Group @ The LGBT Community Center, 6600 mas, 230 W Huron Rd, Cleveland 44113. Detroit Ave., Cleveland, “Tamara,” is the story of 44102; equlityohio.org. Cleveland-land and Surrounding Area an attorney in Venezuela • Cincinnati and The group is for LGBTQ+ young people from 10-17 who goes through the Surrounding Area praised for its use of technology physical and emotional tri- to meet and address quesSaturday April 1 The Curious Incident of the Dog to bring the audience into the als of transitioning. There tions and concerns. in the Night-Time @ Playhouse mind of Christopher as he tries to will be a pre-screening Roberta Taliaferro, a liSquare, 1501 Eucllid Ave #200, find out who really committed the fundraiser for Margie’s allies. The meeting starts with Saturday April 1 censed clinician from the Cleveland, 44115. The 2015 Tony crime. Tickets range from $55Pride Night with The Cincinnati introductions at 7;30 and conMay Dugan Center, will faHope and Equality Ohio. Award winning play about a fif$99 and are available at playCyclones @ US Bank Arena, 100 tinues with discussions until cilitate. More info @ Tickets are $16 and are teen-year-old boy who is falsely housesquare.org. 7:30pm Broadway St, Cincinnati, 45303. around 9:30. 7:30 available at clevelandequalityohio.org. 5pm. accused of killing his neighbor’s More info @ www.cincinfilm.org. 7:25pm Saturday April 1 dog makes its Cleveland debut. Saturday April 22 natipride.org/events. Tickets Cleveland International Film FesThis immersive show has been Crossport Saturday Night @ start at $14. 6:30pm Crazy Fox, 901 Washington Ave, Newport, 41071. CrossSunday April 2 One Hit Wonders with the port is a support group for Cincinnati Men’s Chorus @ transgender people and their School for Creative and Perform- allies. This is their monthly ing Arts, 108 W Central Pkwy, Saturday get together to minCincinnati, 45202. The chorus gle and have fun. More info at will be singing the songs that www.crossport.org. were hits for bands and artists Thursday April 20 who faded into obscurity long before they did. The artists may Quasi and Friends Show @ The Cabaret, 1112 Walnut St, not be memorable, but the music most definitely is. Tickets Cincinnati 45202. Every Thursday join Quasi her cast of misare $25 and are available at www.cincinnatimenschorus.org. fit girls for a fun way to kick off your weekend. More info at 2pm. www.cabaretcincinnati.com Sunday April 9 Country Line Dancing @ Below Wednesday April 26 Zero Lounge, 100 @ Walnut St, The Chainsmokers @ US Bank Cincinnati, 45202 Arena, 100 Broadway St, 513.421.9376. On the first and Cincinnati, 45303. Their numthird Sunday of every month, you ber one hit “Closer,” had you can learn country line dances singing about Range Rovers for free and try them out. 4pm most of last year. Now you can for lessons, 5p-6p for dancing. sing and dance with them as they perform all their hits live. Tuesday April 11 Tickets start @ $39. More info PFLAG Cincinnati’s 2nd Tuesat usbankarena.com. 8pm. days meeting, Mt Auburn Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Rd, Cincinnati 45219. PFLAG provides support for LGBT families, friends and
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politics
Meet Mike Liggett The President of Stonewall Democrats speaks With Brad Henry BH: Mike, so give us some back- tion as then Treasurer, Danny O’- BH: What are your thoughts about ground on yourself; hobbies, things Connor, was beginning his cam- what is currently happening in paign for Franklin County Recorder. Washington? How do you plan you like, interesting factoids, etc. to confront those issues? ML: Columbus Native (Clintonville During this time I also became more actively involved in SDCO. ML: To be frank, what is hapneighborhood) Graduate of Bishop Watterson High Over the course of the 2015 elec- pening in Washington is not tion many SDCO members, includ- only atrocious but incredibly School B.A. in Political Science from Ohio ing several former Presidents, were concerning. Being married to a not happy with the actions of the foreign national the recent travel State, 2014 Graduate Student at Ohio State, City Club’s current Treasurer and ban was incredibly troubling for myOSU Demreached out to me asking me to husband and I, especially with theMen?s and Regional Planning ocratic Party. It is about having run; which after lots of reflection already strained relations between Married in May, 2016 Former Treasurer, Franklin County felt was the right thing to do for the his home country and the United meaningful conversations, collaboration and finding the middle States. club and for our membership. Young Democrats ground that will bring people into Treasurer of SDCO prior to being BH: What are your pursuits and chal- Confronting the barrage of issues the fold. elected President we face is best done with collabolenges with SWD? ration and demonstration. I plan on BH: AnyLast words BH: You were recently voted as President of The Stonewall Democrats ML: Obviously I want to continue to working with our party leaders and and you are a relative newcomer to grow the organization. One thing I the many great Democratic organ- ML: Whether it be Stonewall Depolitics. What prompted you to en- have been very proud of is the izations both here in Central Ohio mocrats, the County Party or any of steps we have made in diversifying and across the state. It is to be a our great Democratic organizagage in politics? our board as well as our PAC Com- show of force and numbers to keep tions, there are always open seats ML: First, I wouldn't consider my- mittee. This includes helping to re- Washington and, very importantly, at the table to come in and get involved. But remember, just like in self a “newcomer” in politics. My cruit two African-Americans (one to the Ohio Legislature in check. life, you won’t always get everyfirst entrance into the field was Exec. Board and one to PAC Comduring the 2008 Presidential Elec- mittee) in 2016 and the recruitment BH: What are your perspective re- thing you want. One disagreement, one endorsement is not a reason to tion, while still in High School. Dur- in 2017 of our first ever transgen- garding Ohio politics? walk away or to disengage. You ing my first two years of College at der PAC member. ML: First and foremost, ending ger- can be critical but act mature in the University of Dayton, I was actively involved in the UD College De- BH: What are your personal objec- rymandering is not just a goal, it's doing so. tives in the position that are most a priority and that means that Democrats. mocrats must win statewide races If you are concerned about what is meaningful to you? - especially the Governor’s race - if happening in Washington, come My foray into local politics came about in 2014 where I was largely ML: As mentioned above, diversity we want to make meaningful and join us. If you are concerned about what is happening in Ohio, involved with Mike Schadek’s cam- in our organization is very impor- progress on our state. come and join us. It is time to get paign for Franklin County Auditor. tant to me. Yet, recruiting minoriAfter that election, with some tough ties that exist within a minority BH: How do plan on bringing people over petty differences and come losses for Democrats, I found my- poses its challenges. Further, back into the Democratic Party in together as progressives, as liberals, as Democrats, as Americans. self wanting to do more, which got being that our 2017 Executive Ohio? It’s time to fight like hell for me actively involved in the Franklin Board is a rather young one, I hope County Democrats. Due to my ded- to get more of the younger mem- ML: Communication, communica- progress and against this wave of ication to the organization, then bers of our community actively in- tion and communication. Grass- dangerous ultra-conservatism. roots efforts and messaging will be President, Jen House asked to to volved and engaged. key to bringing folks back into the Act up, fight back. run for Treasurer of the organiza26
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the frivolist
5 gaycations with a purpose to plan this year By Mikey Rox I’ve never been interested in an all-gay getaway. The idea of making the annual 4th of July pilgrimage to Fire Island, New York, or boarding an Atlantis cruise, the only escape from which is to jump overboard (which _has_ happened), just doesn’t appeal to me. My lack of interest in spending days on end with thousands of drunk, oversexed gay folk, however, doesn’t mean I can’t have a memorable gaycay. If you’re in the same boat (or dangling from its side), here are a few getaway ideas with an LGBT agenda to plan this year. AIDS/LifeCycle
Gay Wine Weekend
LGBT oenophiles can oneup each other with their knowledge of delicious vintages – or just kick back and get lit – at Gay Wine Weekend in Sonoma County, California, July 14 to 16. The three-day grape escape features tasting excursions, champagne brunches, wine auctions and pool parties, and kicks off with a VIP HONfest welcome reception and winemaker dinner. Before heading home, venture off the beaten path to discover some of the 425 wineries that call the region home. Hosted by Out in the Vineyard, GWW benefits Face to Face, Sonoma County AIDS Network. Cop your tix at outinthevineyard.com.
If the seven-day, 550.3-mile bike ride down the coast of California, beginning in San Francisco and ending in Los Angeles, is too daunting of a task, you still can participate in the annual AIDS/LifeCycle event to raise funds and awareness in the fight against HIV/AIDS. For about $100, the organization will set you up with everything you need to volunteer along the route, including food and lodging. Over the course of the week, you’ll assist the 2,500-plus cyclists and more than 500 roadies who pull off this incredible feat of endurance and determination by providing hydration to riders, serving lunches, packing the trucks and picking up trash; dirty job, sure, but somebody’s got to do it. Fair tradeoff, considering that you’ll enjoy priceless views of a large swath of the West MiFo Coast for the cost of a single Ben- LGBT Film Festival nie. For more information visit, aidslifeycle.org. For the past 19 years, the former outlookohio.com
Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival – rebranded as MiFo, which now includes the former Fort Lauderdale Gay & Lesbian Film Festival – has committed itself to entertaining and educating the public through international and culturally diverse films, video and other media that provides should-be-required glimpses into the LGBT experience. The Miami edition, running from April 21 to 30, offers a robust schedule of programs, including regular screenings, parties, a spotlight on female filmmakers and culinary/cinema infusions. Can't make it to Magic City this spring? Hit up the Fort Lauderdale edition from Oct. 7 to 16. Fill your calendar at mifofilm.com.
of gaudiness a time-honored tradition in a town known more for its steamed crabs than its commitment to fashion. Warp over to honfest.net to begin your transformation. International Gay Polo Tournament Polo-playing Prince Harry may be out of your reach, but you can ogle the next best things at the 8th annual International Gay Polo Tournament (who knew there was such a thing?) at the International Polo Club Palm Beach in Wellington, Florida, April 6 to 9. Put your hosting skills to the test in an elaborate tailgating competition, clink glasses of bubbly with fellow Ralph Lauren-clad well-to-dos, and make an appearance at the Gay Polo League VIP tent on tourney day to indulge in tableside service with an open bar before stomping the divots. Interpret that however you’d like. Saddle up at thepalmbeaches.com.
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been pubYo u ’ l l lished in more than 100 outlets feel like an extra on the set of a across the world. He splits his John Waters film at the 23rd time between homes in New York HONfest (June 10 and 11), a one- City and the Jersey Shore with his of-a-kind wink-and-nod to the dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on area’s “Hon” culture, which Twitter @mikeyrox. began humbly as a regional term of endearment in the Hampden neighborhood of Baltimore City in the 1950s and ’60s. Sky-high beehives, cat-eye glasses and over-the-top, time-capsuled costumes that rival any drag queen’s getup keep this hyper-local gala
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savage love by Dan Savage I went to Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, the big kink hotel takeover event in Washington, DC, in February. There was one thing I saw there that is messing with my head, and I hope you can set me straight. There was this lovely little six-person orgy going on with two cuteas-could-be hippie girls and four older dudes. Then these four people came along. They sat and watched—a guy and three women in hijabs and dresses that went wrist to ankle, fully covered. After a while, one of the hippie girls turned to them and said, “I’d be happy to flog you later if you’d like.” The three women in hijab giggled. The whole scene was really sweet, but I just couldn’t get over these three women. I saw them walking around all night, taking it all in. Intellectually, I know there is no reason to think that conservative Islam is incompatible with kink. But my cultural biases make me feel that it is. Or is it possible that covering is their kink? What would you make of that? Washington Kinkster Wondering
“With all the hateful anti-Muslim rhetoric out there these days, it is tempting to romanticize Islam,” said Eiynah, a Pakistani-Canadian children’s book author
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who also hosts a podcast that focuses on sex, Islam, and apostasy. “The impulse is understandable, but Islam is another one of the blatantly sex-negative Abrahamic faiths.” The other blatantly sex-negative Abrahamic faiths, for those of you keeping score out there, are Judaism and Christianity. “Nothing outside of ultra-vanilla plain ol’ twoperson hetero sex within the confines of marriage is permissible,” said Eiynah. So as much as I’d love to agree with WKW that conservative Islam isn’t incompatible with kink, there’s every reason to say that it is. It’s even incompatible with a woman being slightly ‘immodest’ in front of men. Modesty codes are pretty rigid in Islam, and in non-Muslim-majority countries, modesty garments tend to stick out rather than blend in. Which achieves the exact opposite purpose—attracting more attention, not less.” And when sex-negativity, modesty, and religion mix it up, WKW, the part of our brain that grinds out kinks—precise location yet to be determined—kicks into high gear. That’s why there is Mormon-undergarment porn out there and nun porn and hot-priest calendars for sale on sidewalks just outside Vatican City. “Islamic modesty has become fetishized for some— quite literally,” said Eiynah. “There’s hijabi porn and hijabi Lolitas. So the people WKW saw could be into some form of hijab kink.” I’ve seen a few people dressed up as Catholic nuns at fetish parties, WKW, and I didn’t think, “Hey, what are nuns doing here?!?” I thought, “That person has a nun kink.” (Related point: The nuns you see at queer pride parades? Not really nuns. #TheMoreYouKnow) “Finally, it’s possible they could be a more ‘openminded’ polygynous Muslim family that ventured into the hotel in a moment of adventurousness,” said Eiynah. “We are all human, after all, with urges, kinks, curiosities, and desires that surface, no matter Outlook Ohio
what ancient morality code we try to follow.” Amen. Eiynah tweets @NiceMangos, her terrific podcast—Polite Conversations—is available on all the usual podcast platforms, and her children’s book, My Chacha Is Gay, can be ordered at chachaisgay.com I’m a 30-year-old woman in a long-term polyamorous relationship with a stellar guy. Our relationship began as extremely Dom/sub, with me being the sub. My boyfriend and I began super casually but quickly became serious partners. Now, six years later, I find having kinky sex with him challenging. We have a very deep, loving relationship, so my feelings get hurt when we engage in bondage and kink play. This is especially problematic because I still enjoy BDSM with folks I’m not dating. Basically, if I’m not in love with someone, it doesn’t hurt my feelings when they beat me and humiliate me. My boyfriend feels slighted, but I just don’t know what to do. Every time we play rough—the same way we had played for years—my feelings get hurt. Any thoughts? She’s Hurting His Heart
It’s not uncommon to meet people in BDSM spaces/circles who have passionate, intimate, solid, and regular vanilla sex with their long-term partner(s) and intense BDSM play and/or sex with more casual partners. For some submissives, intimacy and a long-term connection can interfere with their ability to enter into and enjoy their roles, and the same is true for some Doms. If this is just how you’re wired, SHHH, you may need to write a new erotic script for your primary relationship—or make a conscious decision to have new and different and satisfying sexual adventures with your boyfriend. There’s tremendous social and political value to being out, whoever the president is. There’s also social and political risk, whoever the president is. If you’re in a position to come out—and you must be, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking—not coming out is a moral failing. You can email Dan Savage at mail@savagelove.net, follow him on Twitter at @fakedansavage or listen to his weekly podcast, Savage Lovecast, every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Savage Love appears every month in Outlook and every week at outlookohio.com
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the divine life by Debé Aries
(March 21 - April 19) As leader of the Zodiac, you don’t like to wait for anything. Although you’ll have time to enjoy your birthday month, things move at a slower pace. Mercury Retrograde begins on the 9th, so don’t charge ahead too fast or that brick wall you’ll hit is gonna hurt. Patience my friend, you’ll survive.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You like to get your hands dirty and you’ve had fun finishing up your to do list (or who to do list) with relish. You’re ready to dive into the next project, but an introspective break is in order. You might be the next thing that needs fixing.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Careful girlfriend. Once you’ve said it, you can’t put that genie back in the bottle. Think before you speak, because there may be consequences - and sister doesn’t need more drama right now! Just sayin…
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
The full moon in Libra on the 11th finally calms you the down. That high-strung emotional state mellows and you’re feeling generous and maybe even a little benevolent again. Go do a good dead before your bitchy side resurfaces.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Ben Franklin said “Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.” Good motto for you this month, as miscommunication during Mercury Retrograde can tempt you to show your fangs. Down boy. No biting, except when invited.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You are not a people person this month, so plan to spend some quality “me time”. Get some fresh air, or tackle some spring cleaning. Ooooh, you can organize and purge – how orgasmic!
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Libra (September 23 - October 22)
The full moon in your sign this month gives you the green light to move on the things (or person?) you want to do. You may ruffle some feathers, but don’t let anyone get in your way. Queue the theme from “Rocky”.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
The world is conspiring against you and enemies are storming the gate! Actually, it’s just Mercury Retrograde messing with you. Relax baby. We are all on your side. Well, most of us anyway…
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Why does everything have to be so damn complicated? You want springtime fun, and responsibility keeps getting in your way. No tantrums please. Pull up your big girl panties and deal. Fun days are coming.
Capricorn
(December 22 - January 19) You can see the finish line, but you just blew a tire. A quick pit stop and you are back in the race. Nascar analogies? Sorry, but sometimes you need to tap into your inner butch to “get er done”..
Aquarius
(January 20 - February 18) There’s always someone skipping through Mercury Retrograde and doing great. That would be you darling. Aren’t you just the life of the party? Well, bless your heart. We’ll try not to hate you.
Pisces
(February 19 - March 20) You don’t know which end is up this month, which could be interesting in bed, but otherwise has you a little off balance. You can still dance in the rain, just avoid stilettos, and watch out for mud puddles, unless you’re trying to make a splash that is Fierce Aries – Lady gaga, Elton John, Rachel Maddow, Rosie O’Donnell.
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Debé is a palmist, intuitive adviser and metaphysical teacher in Columbus. She is available for personal readings, parties, events and workshops. For more information, go to thepassionatepalmist.com. Look for her horoscopes every month in Outlook The Voice of Ohio’s LGBT and Ally Community
A curved line low on the lunar mount (A to B) is indicative of someone who is a bit of a hedonist, and craves excitement and adventure. Wild and crazy – but fun! april 2017
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toons
lesbian 101
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Outlook Ohio
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puzzler
Down \/ \/ \/
gay remake
Across>>
1 The bottom line 6 Stat for Richard Simmons 10 ___ jockey strap (support for a radio host?) 14 Became erect 15 Stein fillers 16 Jerusalem server 17 Downton Abbey veteran who plays 57-Across 19 Note to Jared Polis' staff 20 "Shall Caesar send ___?" (_Julius Caesar_) 21 _Gorillas in the Mist_ author Fossey 22 Gay character played by Josh Gad 23 Arizona resort 25 Annoy during a blow job? 26 Light, woody material 29 Wok concoction 31 Aladdin's monkey 32 Third Reich chronicler William 34 Cable sports award 38 With 40- and 57-Across, Disney remake that features a gay character outlookohio.com
40 See 38-Across 42 Coldcock 43 Mel pretended to be gay for her in _What Women Want_ 47 Emergency road service gp. 48 Producer-director Bailey 50 What Donald Duck lacks down below 52 Son of Uranus 55 Samples some buns, e.g. 57 See 38-Across 58 Birth of a notion? 59 Circumcise clumsily, e.g. 63 Come quickly 64 Harry Potter veteran who plays 38-Across 66 Early indicator of orientation 67 The Seattle Storm, for one 68 Like Baldwin in Paris 69 Daughters of Bilitis co-founder Phyllis 70 Snakes in hieroglyphics 71 Nuts
1 Cry of pride 2 Like phone sex 3 Tara portrayer Collette 4 Evaluate asses? 5 Rent or allow 6 Dish from Pasolini's land 7 White House closet woman 8 Ann Bannon or Edgar Box 9 Sound of the draft fizzling out? 10 Forced to one's knees, perhaps 11 "___ My Heart in San Francisco" 12 "Some more" to Margaret Mead? 13 What electing gay candidates can bring 18 Teaching deg. 22 Island necklace 24 _ ___ of Eden_ 26 Streisand, familiarly 27 Aid's partner 28 Hawaiian wedding wing-ding, perhaps 30 Hunks of history 33 Metropolitan Community Church song 35 _South Park_ owner of a gay dog 36 Terrific, in slang 37 Yelled yeses 39 Prepare a bra for removal 41 Mane location 44 Where Roxane Gay works? 45 One of the motorist's aids 46 Cuff-to-crotch lines 49 Fla. clock setting 51 Hubby of Demi 52 _American Idol_ judge Paula 53 All choked up 54 Slowly, to Sondheim 56 Viewed, to Tweety 60 Continent of Cho's parents 61 Hole opening? 62 Spanking spot 64 LAX pilot's guess 65 Singer DiFranco
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Outlook Magazine
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