Armed for Apocalypse | C3 The local metal band prepares to play their final shows before leaving for a European tour.
Entertainment Editor
Behave yourself in theaters The last movie I went to see in theaters was “The Crazies” and before you ask — yes, it was crazy. I happened to be sitting in the isle seat, which benefited me in two different ways. First, some 17-year-old kid tripped two steps above my row and took a swan dive about six steps down, landing by my feet. I stood up and tried to leave, seeing as how nothing could have been more entertaining than that, but the movie already started and I didn’t want to be the wimpy guy walking out during a scary movie. And of course, we all applauded when he walked back in shame. Secondly, the isle seat provided me with a quick escape after the movie so I didn’t have to walk through a crowd of people because usually, the crowd at any given movie theater consists of two-thirds local high school kids. Unfortunately, I used to be one of these types of kids and I wish I could go back in time and knee myself in the balls for ever thinking I was cool for hanging out at the movie theater. There always has to be a group of 15 girls who enjoy sitting in the front row. They love to giggle at inappropriate moments and travel in groups to the bathroom, only to shuffle back, whispering to one another at pivotal moments in the movie. Those little mumbles, giggles and murmurs don’t bother me as much as the asshole who decides to bring a bag of candy or chips into the theater and waits to open them up until after the movie has started. Naturally, these bags have to be made out of some material that makes nails on a chalkboard sound like Kelly Clarkson. I don’t know what’s worse — the initial opening of the bag, which has to be slow and take about two minutes to complete — or the following 30 minutes where this person dives their hand back into Pandora’s noise bag of hell. You could be sitting across the theater and still hear this person getting fatter. I’ve heard Dane Cook talk about spilling your drink looking for that godforsaken cup holder, but you don’t understand true fury unless the person behind you has actually spilled their drink and out of nowhere, it sounds and feels like a pregnant woman’s water broke in the row above you. You hear the initial crash, then the rushing of liquid flowing past your shoes. I know that going to the movies is all about the experience of sitting in the theater and watching a new film on the big screen, but so far I haven’t had any good experiences to weigh out the bad. My anxiety around crowds of fat and annoying people at places like the theater is so bad, I have to take a Xanax before I go in order to dodge the walls closing in on me and the hyperventilation that follows. Bottom line, close your mouth, use Ziploc baggies for food and hold on to your damn drink.
Wednesday March 24, 2010
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Tyler Harbaugh
Classic cynicism
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% * ) ( ' ! & % $ !"# Big-name sponsors bring crew of new pop-punk bands to the Senator Theatre
York City. However, the Chico tour stop hasn’t sold out yet. STAFF WRITER Alternative Press MagaThe Alternative Press Tour zine, along with Rockstar will be bringing a heavy dose Energy Drink, Wonka, Hurley of pop-punk and a full line up and others, will sponsor the spring tour. of bands to Since 2007, the Senator I feel like we are the tour has Theatre on April 1. really going into who brought bands including This year’s 3Oh!3, Hit The spring tour we want to be and it’s Lights and will include the best feeling ever” the bands Alex Deleon Cute Is What vocalist, The Cab We Aim For to Never Shout the stage. Never, Hey Hours before the AP Tour’s Monday, The Cab, Every Aveopening show, Every Avenue’s nue and The Summer Set. The AP Tour will make 41 lead singer and only original stops across the U.S. Tick- member David Strauchman ets have already sold out in spoke about his anticipation locations such as Los Ange- for the tour. Strauchman looks forward les, Seattle, Chicago and New Lindsay Woychick
to sold out crowds and a performance at a Detroit venue across from his childhood home, he said. “The 16-year-old version of me would look at me now and be like, ‘Wow I’d kill to be doing that’ and I’m doing it now,” Strauchman said. “It’s pretty amazing.” Being on the road nearly 300 days a year, Every Avenue eats, sleeps and breathes music. Missing holidays, weddings, birthdays and funerals, the band still doesn’t take what they have for fo granted, Strauchman said. With this constant travel, at times he finds himself unsure of ti where the tour bus has stopped, w he h said. “There’s been plenty of times where I’ve told my friends in w Cleveland, ‘You going to be there Cl tomorrow?’” Strauchman said. “Then to I wake up and walk around and I’m w like, lik ‘I’m in Pittsburgh, shit.”’
local scene so it was actually really hard for us,” Deleon said. With the recent departure of two former members, The Cab has felt an emotional loss. However, fans will find their music stays true to form, Deleon said. “We are experimenting,” Deleon said. “I feel like we are really going into who we want to be, and it’s the best feeling ever.” The band is currently completing their next album with the tour tailing closely. For Deleon the trip from Sin City to magazine covers has been surreal. “I honestly don’t feel like
The band, which has performed alongside the other AP Tour bands, recently released a new album, “Picture Perfect.” The crowd can expect to hear songs from the latest album, as well as their previous album, “Shh. Just Go With It,” Strauchman said. However, with five bands in the lineup, Every Avenue will be playing a short, seven-song set. Sharing the stage with Every Avenue, the Las Vegas, Nev. band The Cab, will bring an alternative flare to the stage. Like Strauchman, Alex Deleon, lead singer of The Cab was in the midst of preparation for the tour. Being a band from Vegas wasn’t easy for The Cab, Deleon said. When people initially think of Las Vegas, old time performers like Elton John and Celine Dion come to mind. “Vegas isn’t known for it’s small
Concert info
When: 6:30 p.m. April 1 Where: Senator Theatre • Price: $15 I’ve woken up yet,” Deleon said. “I still feel like I’m in some crazy dream.” Dreams are about to become a tour-frenzied reality for all the AP Tour bands as they begin a cross-country musical venture. Heavy anticipation, high energy music and the Senator Theatre will hurtle headlong into each other for fans as the AP Tour comes to Chico. Lindsay Woychick can be reached at lwoychick@theorion.com
Tyler Harbaugh can be reached at entertainmenteditor@theorion.com
[ ViralVideos ] “Palatial Regalia”
“2 girls 1 cup reaction #85746”
Simon Rex, also known as “Dirt Nasty,” stars in this viral video where he has a problem speaking. He can’t stop using the words “palatial” and “regalia” at inappropriate times. His friends decide to give him an intervention.
There are endless responses and reaction videos to the infamous “2 Girls 1 Cup” video, but the video of this bug-eyed tarsier takes the cake. The music begins in the background and it’s absolutely amazing how wide-eyed this little guy gets.
youtube.com/watch?v=OcIYmtFeE_M
youtube.com/watch?v=ZGzr2YrHrCA