Gays Front of the Room to the
Les Leventhal Class after class, I watch students roll up their mats immediately after savasana, sometimes even before, and click on their mobile devices to see if they’ve missed anything. What is it about our lives that we can’t let the practice continue for a little bit longer? What is it that makes us dive into distraction instead of sitting in self-study?
would be different from the path of most men. There was no one around when I was a teen saying, “It gets better” or “No H8.” To be accepted into the general population, the message was, “Hide it a bit if you could, please.” At that time, my dristi — my gaze, my gays — was set on withdrawing from my experience and from myself.
Decades ago, when I knew there was something pleasurably different about who I was growing up to be, I felt the need to withdraw because I knew my experience
That meant living a life of extremes, darting in and out of relationships, friendships, and jobs. I never knew if people accepted me for who I was because I didn’t stick around long
When I strip away all these labels I can sit in meditation and recognize that all souls have equal weight.
enough to find out. Often, the only way to escape facing myself was to drink and use into blackout conditions. Or, some weekends were total whiteouts, powder events, if you will.
Caribbean Yoga Conference A CELEBRATION OF SUN, SEVA & SANGHA
Montego Bay, Jamaica Jan. 31–Feb. 3, 2013
Many people use technology in the same way, to withdraw from their experience. Leading the lives we do today, with sensory overload at our fingertips, it has become more difficult to practice pratyahara, withdrawing the senses, which is a svadhyaya, a self-examination. We practice withdrawal of the senses so we don’t experience withdrawal from ourselves. It took some hard work to get to a place of self-acceptance. Through the practice of yoga, I was able to slowly transform [my tendency to withdraw] from life to a practice that allows me to withdraw my senses and to turn my dristi inward, studying who I am in my own life and who I want to be in the lives of others. It’s a practice of eliminating labels: I am not a man, a son, a brother, nor a yoga teacher. I was not a banker, a legal secretary, nor a substance abuser. When I strip away all these labels I can sit in meditation and recognize that all souls have equal weight. The spirit has no gender, no sexual orientation, just love.
For more info & registration, visit
caribbeanyogaconference.com
So when a teacher says, “Gaze to the front of the room,” I know that it’s okay for this gay to be at the front of the room and for my dristi to be soft, kind, and loving. That’s a daily practice. Whoever you are, whatever your lifestyle, whether you’re blocking out your experience with drugs or technology, we are all on the same path in life. Check in to your experience, let yourself be heard and loved, and then sit in the comfort of support and guidance.
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