december ∙ january twenty fourteen–fifteen
the valley’s modern resource for today’s parent
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Make some memories
Dump Cake Ingredients: • 1 (21 oz) can cherry pie filling • 1 (15 oz) can crushed pineapple • 1 box yellow cake mix
• 8 oz chopped pecans • 1/2 cup butter (sliced)
Directions: Preheat oven to 350°. In a 9” x 9” baking dish “dump” the crushed pineapple. “Dump” the cherry pie filling on top of the pineapple. Do not mix the pineapple and cherry pie filling! “Dump” the yellow cake mix over the fruit without mixing. “Dump” the chopped pecans over the cake mix. Thinly slice one stick (1/2 cup) butter over the pecans and cake mix. Cover as much of the cake mix as possible with the butter. Bake for 35-40 mins.
Kids share more than just their toys Whether it’s the common cold or something more serious, our Pediatric Team is here when you need us. We provide a wide range of services including: ■
Walk-in acute care
■
Well child exams & sports physicals
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Newborn care & immunizations
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Asthma & allergy
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Acute & chronic conditions
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Behavioral & developmental issues
Call 701.364.8900 for an appointment or
Visit our Walk-In Clinic Essentia Health-South University Clinic 1702 South Univeristy Drive | Fargo Monday-Friday 8:00 am - 4:00 pm
contents
in every issue contributors .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
otmom list . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 shutterbug
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
food for thought
. . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
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contents
sections what’s on your mind?
did you know
hockey mom 101 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
keepin’ it straight treating teeth misalignment . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
shop talk happy holidays, teach! gift-giving ideas for teachers . . . . . . . . . . . 28
just a thought press "pause" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
body + being
ready, set, grow
the dangers of electronic cigarettes . . . . . . . 36
weird, wild, wacky, and way-fun family holiday traditions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
gettin' through it dating…after children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
14
46
30
contents
feature & profiles mod mom profile barb wohlwend . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
mompreneur christine ilvedson—clothes mentor fargo . . . . 30
rad dad profile mike andrews . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
cover story katie pinke—accepting interruptions . . . . . . . 62
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moms
on the minds of
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge
COPY EDITOR Charlotte Berg
ADVERTISING Mary Klabo p: 218.791.2848 e: mary@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com
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AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz EDITORIAL CONTACT e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com
INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107
SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe
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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Sunmart, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2014–2015 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
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mary klabo
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FEB 7 TH 2015
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
event
Here's a {TEENSY TINY} teaser of what you'll get t o experience a t o t m o m L I V E ... you're gonna love this... STEP 1 Gifts, of course! Grab a swag bag filled with stuff for the modern, cool mama that you are… {NO LAME WINDSHIELD SCRAPERS ALLOWED} STEP 2 Meet our Emcee R e b e c c a , she’ll keep things fun and you’ll feel like BFF's within the first 5 minutes of meeting her {CROSS OUR HEARTS} STEP 3 Learn, laugh & get an energy buzz in the large group sessions: Lipstick, Laughter & Life W ITH OUR FRIEND Renee
The Sky’s the limit… or it is? Dreaming big W ITH OUR FRIEND Te r e s a
Take a YOU -Turn Life is a journey, stay on course W ITH OUR FRIEND Darcy
STEP 4 Settle in with the small group workshops where you choose the topic that speaks to your heart: Reinventing Yourself W I T H OUR F RIE ND Susan
Letting Go of Your Try Hard Life W I T H OUR F RIE ND Heather
Boys will be Boys; Girls will be Girls W I T H OUR F RIE ND Daria
Courage to be Significant W I T H OUR F RIE ND Marilyn
Celebrating Mommy Milestones W I T H OUR F RIE ND Lanelle
Intro to Parenting with Love and Logic W I T H OUR F RIE ND Laura
Snacktivism - Creating a Healthy Snacking Culture for our Children W I T H OUR F RIE ND Alyssa
STEP 5 Socialize with new friends and sit down to a top notch dinner fit for the Queen! Garden salad, chicken with wild mushrooms, garlic mashed potatos, and red velvet cake. {NOM NOM NOM} STEP 6 {BETTER VISIT THE LADIES ROOM BECAUSE...} The laughter isn't going to stop our friend D e b i {AN LA COMEDIAN} will have you're abs burning STEP 6 Go home refreshed and grateful that you are a mom! {PINKY PROMISE}
*Watch our facebook page thoughout Dec. & Jan. for more details!
We k n o w {w i t h o u t a d o u bt} y o u d e s e r v e t h i s ,
register now f o r o t m o m L I V E !
www.OnT he M inds Of M o m s . c om /ot m om - l i ve
contributors
feel mygratitude favorite way to say ‘thank you’… holly scott fargo | nd body + being: page 36 My favorite way to say thank you is to say it directly to the person or to send a handwritten note. In today’s world of ever-changing and convenient technology, it can be really easy to send an email or text. I think it means more to do something personal.
kari klingsporn hitterdal fargo | nd food for thought: page 50 My favorite way to say thank you is with a hug, a smile, and a sincerely spoken "thank you." We can get creative with our gestures of thanks—and I do at times—and a nice handwritten card is appreciated, but I think simple and heartfelt means a lot to people.
heather bjur western | mn gettin’ through it: page 40 My favorite way to say thank you is by writing a card, note, or letter of thanks. I love words and feel I can express my heartfelt appreciation and thanks more deeply and succinctly if I have the ability to write the words out. It's easy for me to stumble over my words when I tell someone how much they mean to me. Writing gives me the time to think about how to best say something so that my feelings can be expressed fully.
laura sokolofsky fargo | nd what’s on your mind: page 18 My favorite way to say thank you is by leaving notes of thanks or appreciation. I often save special notes given to me for different reasons and so this may be why this is my way.
contributors phyllis magelky argusville | nd did you know: page 54 I like to show my 'thanks' by giving food!
kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 58 I’m old school. Writing a simple note of gratitude and sending it the oldfashioned way—through snail mail—is tried and true. Everyone loves receiving handwritten, personalized mail. There are many steps to the process: choosing the right stationery or card, taking the time to pen your message, stuffing it in an envelope and searching for the recipient’s address, and walking it to your mailbox. Each step screams “THANK YOU!”
melissa markegard fargo | nd body + being: page 36 My favorite way to say thank you is with a handwritten note and the gift of banana chocolate chip muffins.
leann ebersviller west fargo | nd shoptalk: page 28 Spending time with someone. Memories are the one thing you’ll always have, so having a good time with someone creates a thank you that they’ll be able to keep wherever life takes them.
deb uglem moorhead | mn oh, by the way: page 80 Definitely with a hug and with some I’ll even add in a kiss. If distance is a problem, well, I guess I would schedule some bonus time together over coffee, lunch, or dinner to get that little squeeze in. Of course at work, a nice email always does the trick!
patricia carlson naples | fl ready, set, grow: page 72 My parents taught me that writing a thank-you note is sincere, gracious and always in good taste. I’ve written them since I was a little girl and continue to do so today. They may be months late, but they get there. Hopefully, my kids will continue the practice.
otmom list
7
minutes. The average time it takes a person to fall asleep.
$2,047
the average amount gifted annually to charities by Americans who earn $50-$99K. Really, any amount you can give to another in need will make you feel rich.
sources: cbsnews.com | didyouknow.com
Kindergarten Registration February 12-13 and 16-19 7:30 am - 6:00 pm
Register at the school your child will attend. If you do not know which school your child will attend, please call 446-1043. If your child will attend Ed Clapp, please register at any of the following schools: Kennedy at Eagles, Lincoln, Lewis & Clark, Centennial or Kennedy Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015.
Please be sure to bring: www.onthemindsofmoms.com
• Your child’s certified birth certificate. • Your child’s current immunization record. • A copy of a document that includes the child’s parent/guardian name and address (e.g., utility bill or bank statement).
701.446.1000
www.fargo.k12.nd.us 12
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
otmom list
02.07.15 110
save the date for otmomLIVE. Give yourself the best gift this holiday season—a ticket to otmomLIVE. It’s really time to invest in YOU.
text messages per day are sent and received by Americans between the ages of 18-29, yet we only receive one handwritten card/note/ letter every four months. Don’t let the simple and meaningful things like putting pen to paper be lost in technology.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
13
B
arb Wohlwend is a vibrant, humorous woman who never misses a chance to accessorize! This small-town, oncefarm girl owns her big personality and is affectionately referred to as ‘Big Momma” by her daughter, Amanda.
With a recent cancer diagnosis, Barb has an elevated motivation to live every day to the fullest. She cherishes her family time more than ever and makes it a priority to get herself dressed and made up every day, no matter how she feels. When she isn’t taking in the calm of her lake home with husband Lance, Barb is bringing sparkle and shine to others as a Division Manager for Jewels by Park Lane, a business that once featured her as one of the company’s most “Empowering Women.” Her love for family and friends, and passion for shopping, decorating, music, and reading inspirational books, makes her a mom worthy of celebrating.
photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
mod mom
barb wohlwend
mod mom
age 52, henning.mn
my best advice to my younger self…
my daughter, Amanda, give to me.
become a better person who inspires others! Also, to get a good education and take care of your health.
last time i laughed so hard i cried…
i’m a big believer in… living your life with integrity, being honest with yourself and others, and to enjoy every moment of your life!
something i admire, but would never do… song writers and performers.
one thing that always makes me feel beautiful… to get ready every day; no matter how I feel. I love to put on my beautiful Park Lane Jewelry because it always adds that extra sparkle to my day. If you look good, you feel good!
worth the drive!
i don’t like to run out of… energy and motivation!
my most favorite place to just ‘be’… at my lake home!
my daughter always brings laughter to my life all of the time. But we always have a great time playing games at my lake home with my family. It’s our favorite thing to do after a day on the pontoon. It’s
thinking about a
cosmetic procedure?
we are
worth the drive!
i never take for granted… my health. Since my cancer diagnosis I have looked at life differently, I never miss an opportunity to spend quality time with my family and friends. live until I was 93, like my grandmother.
my daughter has my… humor, personality, style, and maybe some of my looks! LOL!
i can always count on… the unconditional love that my husband, Lance, and
Learn more and see real before and afters at
w w w. d a r c y h o n e y c u t t . c o m 701. 5 3 0 . 8 4 5 0 O R 1. 8 8 8 . 4 3 0 . 3 2 2 3
3913 LOCKPORT ST, BISMARCK
D’A rcy A. Honeycutt, M.D., F.A.C.S. Board Certified Female Plastic Surgeon
december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
15
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
i always thought i would…
Friendly All Female Staff Accredited In-Office Operating Room
mod mom
always a great time when we all can spend time together.
things that women should have… positive attitude, a smile, tons of jewelry, animal print, and FUR, of course!
all-time favorite movie… ”God Is Not Dead”
the day i wish i could live over and over again… I love the holidays and entertaining is one of my favorite things to do. At Christmastime and the 4th of July I enjoy visiting with family and friends near and far! www.onthemindsofmoms.com
i find strength in… God! We are a faith-driven family and God guides my life. God protects and cares for my family and loved ones. God brings me comfort and peace through others when I am in pain. God guides me to love selflessly, to give life, to serve, and to live life to the fullest. My faith is not just important to me, it is everything to me. God has me in the palm of his hand every day. 16
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
if i could dine with one person past/present it would be… Ellen! She is the real deal! I love her humor and the style of her show. I love that she does not judge others and is always positive. She always inspires others and gives them hope through her humor.
i never thought i… would be diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It has completely changed my life. But I love that I can share my journey with others. I am blessed to live such a beautiful life.
i would like my daughter to one day experience… a life filled with no regret. I hope she continues to live her life to the fullest and spread her unconditional love to others. She has found her way in life and that makes me feel happy!
my life motto is… you gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. You must have this attitude in life, "If you think you can, you can!”
looking for answers
monitoring room at sanford children’s helps develop personalized treatments for epilepsy
G
riffin Walker has epilepsy. For the past three years this has been a fact he, his parents, and his siblings have had to accept. Epilepsy is a disorder that is characterized by two or more unprovoked seizures over time.
“When Griffin has a seizure, it is like the lights are on but nobody is home,” says Griffin’s mom, Roxann. “He doesn’t flail around and shake. He is just zoned out.” The Walkers have tried to keep Griffin’s epilepsy under control with several different medications, but he is still averaging several seizures per week. “Despite his epilepsy, Griffin still remains somewhat active,” says Roxann. “You just want him to be able to live his life, but we plan our lives around it.” This winter, Griffin will spend a few days at Sanford Children’s Hospital in Fargo at the only epilepsy monitoring room in North and South Dakota, in hopes of
capturing an episode to better understand his seizures and a way to control them. “Griffin will come and be hooked up to the brain wave test until he has a seizure,” says Sanford nurse practitioner Molissa Hager. “Then we can see exactly what happens in his brain during a seizure and where the abnormal activity is occurring in the brain. He will be evaluated by the pediatric neurology team at Sanford, Dr. DeCock and Dr. Parachuri, who will help develop a treatment plan for him.” “We are so fortunate to have this opportunity so close to home,” says Roxann. “And we just hope we will be able to get some answers that will help Griffin.”
what’s on your mind?
hockey mom 101
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
story by | laura sokolofsky
My son loves hockey. I think it must be in his blood? The hockey gene? His dad played hockey. He took our son, Jack, to one Sioux hockey game in first grade. That night Jack decided to give hockey a try. The next week his dad gathered up old equipment from friends whose kids had outgrown it and called to tell me so I could get Jack signed up to play. We agreed that night we had to do this together because neither of us could do hockey alone. Jack’s dad died that night. When a seven-year-old boy faces a tragedy like that, a mom does whatever will help heal a broken heart and bring a smile back to her little boy’s face. Hockey did that. My husband, Brian, and I have kept the commitment to help Jack play hockey, which has been a learning experience. That first termite season neither of us knew
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
how to put the equipment on Jack! His elbow pads were on the wrong arms, his laces were not tight enough, and the coach informed me I should get him a “cup” for protection! Duh! Didn’t think of that piece. While being a hockey mom for the past five years I have had a love/hate relationship with the sport, but it’s taught us all many life lessons along the way. feel the love Every year Jack has had excellent parent coaches whom I love! They have been patient, kind, and taught him what we cannot. He wasn’t a natural, quick learner, nor an aggressive player; and, if you didn’t know this, age seven, first grade, puts a child quite behind when beginning hockey. We love the fun parents we have met from all parts of Fargo. Moms bond over making posters, noisemakers,
what’s on your mind? planning potlucks, and cheering from the stands. By the end of the season I usually have made new friends and hope we are and hope we are on the same the same team again next year. My son is getting a great workout…love that, too! He trims down and gets very fit during winter while the rest of us are eating comfort food and drinking hot chocolate to stay warm between game periods. He never complains about going to practice or games. Seeing him motivated and working hard is the ultimate goal of sports participation for me. What makes it worth all the effort? Seeing him grow into his body, improve his skills [albeit slowly], find his position [defense, just like his dad], and grow his love of the game. It also keeps us very busy and, strangely, I do think the winters go by faster because of it! not so much Hate is a harsh word, and I wouldn’t say I have any hate for hockey. But there are things I strongly dislike and wish I had the power to change. No set schedule is a non-like. Every day, every week, the where and when of practice and games is different. Six days a week all over town – the only day off was Wednesday. The days of getting him dressed at home and then dropping off minutes before the practice or game were over. Now we must be at the rink 45 minutes to an hour early to get ready in the locker room, then practice, followed by an hour or hour-and-a-half game, plus changing afterward. That equals over three hours of your day or night. Might I remind you that was when he was nine and in third grade. With varying practice times, they can run as late as 8:45 p.m. [his bedtime is 8 p.m.], or there’s the dreaded 6 a.m. practice.
The year the league went to splitting levels A, B, B1 was a hard year. We were told at the parent meeting the kids on B1 teams would not be able to play in Squirt International because their level would not be to par with other teams in the tournament. It was our Fargo-run tournament and I was expected to volunteer at games, but my kid wasn’t good enough to play in it??! Hard to
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december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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What I think I dislike the most about hockey is how the bar is constantly being raised for kids. I don’t think this is just in hockey, I see it in many things these days. Why is there such a push for more kids to play hockey if there is an ice shortage? Why does it cost so much? Why can’t they play on a team with a friend or schoolmate at their same level? Why would a seven-year-old be behind in a sport in first grade? Why do you have to be on travel teams or be in expensive summer camps? Why are some kids pushed to be on the ice year round? Is this the only way to make an “A” team? Why does hockey seem to be so “elite,” like a status symbol, almost? I don’t really care about
my son’s level as long as he gets to play, works hard, and learns new skills. I believe you learn from losing just as much as winning, and we’ve had one of those seasons, too. I don’t expect him to play in college, get scholarships, or go pro, but even the option of making the high school team seems impossibly out of reach these days; 20 years ago it wasn’t that way for me. There are scholarships for those in need to play at this level, but the expectations and demands put on parents to have a child in this sport weed many of those kids/ families out. I work at a school where in ten years I’ve known about four kids total who played hockey in the program, or tried to. It is hard for our middle-class family to pay for and transport daily, and obviously harder for families without the means.
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what’s on your mind? swallow! I saw parents leave that meeting crying. You know why…because the message at age nine/ten to a boy is that you are not good enough to play in the tournament. Why would we do that to our own players? So to ease this decision, and prevent possible revolt, B1-second-year squirts would get to join another team in February, so they could play in the Squirt International tournament. This other team has already bonded, plays a level above, and our boys would be the outsiders with the pity pass. The counselor in me had a really hard time with this one. Does no one think of the emotional development of players? Kids don’t remember wins and losses in third grade, but they will always remember how they were made to feel by coaches, parents, and the fact that they didn’t get to play and participate in a major event with their own team. It hurts my heart just thinking about it. Lastly, I am no hockey expert, but I do know kids. I don’t think it is healthy for kids to specialize and play a sport year round. More is not always better. Noted orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrew agrees, as you can read in this article: Dr. Andrew wants your young athlete to stay healthy by playing less [www.cleveland.com/dman/index. ssf/2013/02/noted_surgeon_dr_james_andrews.html].
elim children’s center 701.271.1810
• 3534 University Dr S
www.elimcare.org/ecc
a ministry of elim care, fargo nd
learning.
growing.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
loving.
My goal is not to discourage anyone from playing hockey—it is a great sport. This last year watching my son as a Peewee in grade five was my favorite year yet. We were reunited with families we met in past seasons. We had smart, positive coaches. We were [finally!] on a team with a friend from the same school [yeah! car pool help!]. I know how to do all the “work” of home games and Jack can get all his equipment on himself, so I just have to drop off and pick up. I helped team manage and we tried to keep the extra costs as low as possible for families. Most importantly, I saw my son grow into his role on the team and truly improve. He is working hard, being a good teammate, looking to pass, contributing, and enjoying his time on the ice. To me that is what being in a sport is all about. Certainly some improvements could be made to the system, but on the whole it is worth it! Forever a Fargo girl, Laura and her hubby Brian made their nest with Jack [12] Ellie [10] and Piper the Puggle [8]. She is a professional school counselor for Fargo Public Schools by day and a PTA mom, Parenting with Love and Logic Facilitator, and Adjunct Instructor for MSUM and University of Mary by night. When the work is done, she is her kids’ hockey, baseball, basketball, dance, piano, softball chauffeur, photographer, and adoring fan. Any spare time is spent lounging with a favorite movie, soaking in the sun, or looking for a little night-out fun.
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Connect with North Dakota farm women at: facebook.com/CommonGroundNorthDakota december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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december events 1-31
$6 per child or purchase $50 punch card worth 10 visits. For every 2 children 1 active helper is required.
Drive through Lindenwood Park [1905 Roger Maris Dr, Fargo] and view holiday light displays sponsored by local businesses from 5:30-10pm. $6 per car, $5 with canned good and $10 for buses or limos.
4, 11 & 18
Lindenwood Park Lights www.fmsertoma.com
3
Bowls for Babies 701.235.5530 www.marchofdimes. com/northdakota March of Dimes Annual Fundraiser for the babies. Your $20 ticket allows you to come select a uniquely artistic bowl, sample soup from several locally owned restaurants & then keep the bowl as a souvenir! Ramada Plaza Suites [1635 42nd St S, Fargo] from 11am-1:30pm.
4-6, 11-13, 18-20 Preschool Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com
Kiddos ages 12 months to 5 years old can have a blast at TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] during open gym. Thursday 11am-noon, Friday 10am-11am & Saturday 8am-9:30am.
EXCELLENCE
Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! Safe Kids Fargo/ Moorhead is conducting Car Seat Check Up Events at The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] from 1:45pm-4:45pm. Space is limited. This event is free and open to the public. Pre-registration is necessary.
5
Parents’ Night Out 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com Go shopping while we have a blast with your kiddos at TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] during open gym 7pm-9pm!
5-7
Bismarck Pride of Dakota Holiday Showcase www.prideofdakota.nd.gov Find something for everyone on your list at the Bismarck Civic Auditorium. Tons of
Christmas on The Prairie 701.282.2822 www.bonanzaville.com Enjoy a beautifully decorated Bonanzaville with cookie decorating, Christmas carolers, horse drawn wagon rides, music, desserts, and photos with Santa. 1pm-7pm.
6, 7, 10-14 & 17-23
Santa Village @ Rheault Farm 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Santa & Mrs. Claus open the village at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo] with elves, live reindeer & sleigh rides! November 29th & 30th, December 6th & 7th 1pm-7pm, December 10th, 11th & 12th 4pm-8pm, 13th & 14th 1pm-8pm, 17th , 18th & 19th 4pm-8pm, 20th & 21st 1pm-8pm, 22nd & 23nd 4pm-8pm. FREE admission with canned goods, toy or cash donation.
6, 13 & 20
Breakfast with Santa 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Rheault Farm [2902 25th St. S, Fargo] Come spend a morning with Santa and take
part in a two hour program that begins at 8:00am with a hot breakfast provided by Applebee’s. After your tummies are full enjoy an entertainment show followed by a holiday craft and a personal visit with Santa and Mrs. Claus. Tickets are $5 ages 2 & up and must be purchased in advance.
6 & 14
Jaws, Paws, & Lunch with Santa Claus 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org Kick off the holiday season at the Zoo! Enjoy lunch at the zoo, free carousel rides, animal encounters, holiday crafts and even meet the big guy himself...Santa! Each family will receive a complimentary photograph with Santa and a special gift. $15 adults, $10 children [members receive $2 off per ticket]. Limited tickets. Purchase in advance. 11am-1:30pm.
6, 13 & 20
Santa Fly-In 701.293.8043 www.fargoairmuseum.org Head to the Fargo Air Museum [1609 19th Ave N, Fargo] at Noon and see Santa fly-in to meet all the good boys & girls!
SERVICE
A Community Inspiring Excellence Through
Faith, Learning, and Service The mission of Saint John Paul II Catholic Schools is to inspire exceptional student achievement by teaching the total person and fostering the following of Christ in an environment guided by the Gospel Spirit, as taught by the Catholic Church. www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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FAITH
LEARNING
Currently accepting applications for Little Deacons (age 3) - Grade 12
FOR MORE INFORMATION OR PERSONAL TOUR Lori Hager, Admissions Director 701.893.3271 Lori.Hager@jp2schools.org
jp2schools.org 22
amazing products made in North Dakota!
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
Celebrate the season of giving. RHEAULT FARM | 2902 25TH ST S.
VISIT SANTA MEET SANTA’S REINDEER MAKE A HOLIDAY CRAFT DECORATE COOKIES WITH MRS. CLAUS
FREE ADMISSION WITH DONATION OF A CANNED GOOD, NEW OR GENTLY USED TOY OR CASH DONATION
HOLIDAY HOURS Nov. 29-30 .............. 1-7 pm Dec. 6-7 .................. 1-7 pm Dec. 10-12 .............. 4-8 pm Dec. 13-14 .............. 1-8 pm Dec. 17-19 ................ 4-8 pm Dec. 20-21 ................ 1-8 pm Dec. 22-23 ................ 4-8 pm 701.499.7788 | fargoparks.com
events event calendar | december
7
Lorie Line 701.239.8385 www.fargotheatre.org
This season marks her 25th anniversary of touring and Line will showcase the best of the best of her holiday music over her 25-year career. She will feature her Fab 5 and this year is bringing a special vocalist to the stage. Don’t miss this special evening of music as Lorie celebrates a milestone year. 3pm at the Fargo Theatre [314 Broadway, Fargo].
10, 26, 29-31
School's Out Day Camp 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com If school is out for the day, come to TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] to play, 7am-6pm! Our S.O.D.C. ensures that your kiddo [ages 5-14] will receive well over 60 minutes of physical activity, healthy snacks and a noon meal, quiet reading time, and creative/open play in the gym. Your kiddo is guaranteed to have a fun-filled day and meet new friends! *Register for all 5 days during holiday break [December 26, 29, 30, 31, and January 2nd] and receive 20% off per day!
11-14 & 18-21
Santa Village @ Lincoln Golf Course 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org
Santa & his elves will set up their workshop at the Lincoln Golf Course Clubhouse in Grand Forks Thursdays & Fridays 4pm8pm, Saturdays 10am-8pm & Sundays Noon-6pm! Everyone is welcome to meet the elves & make a holiday craft or two. Come meet Santa and Mrs. Claus on Saturdays and Sundays [1pm-5pm]. Take a ride on a horse-drawn sleigh or stop in to look at the beautifully adorned trees & sip some cocoa. Free admission with donation of non-perishable food item or new toy.
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Happy Holidays Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com Head to TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] for some open gym fun and meet Fit Santa & Mrs. Clause! Let us take care of your kiddos [ages 5-12] one evening while you relax and catch up with family and friends. Kiddos will
enjoy gymnastics, floor games, climbing the rock-wall, dancing, obstacle courses, trampoline time, play time in our foam pit and much more. The fun happens 7pm-9pm.
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Skating with Santa 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org Skate to Christmas music while visiting Santa at Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo] from 7pm-8:30pm. Hot chocolate & refreshments will be served. A canned food item for the Fargo-Moorhead Food Pantry will be your ticket to get in.
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Healthy Holiday Baking 701.234-2400 www.familywellnessfargo.com Everyone is invited to the Family Wellness Center [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] for some holiday baking the healthy way. The holidays are time for family, merriment, and expanding waistlines, but learn a couple healthier baking options to add in to your holiday repertoire to battle the bowl full of jelly belly. For ages 12+, $9 member/$15 nonmembers. Sign up at the front desk or call to reserve your place.
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Family Fun Night @ Fargo Force 701.364.3672 www.fargoforce.com
Watch the Fargo Farce take on the Sioux Falls Stampede! When you purchase a family fun package, enjoy 4 reserved seats, 4 premium gifts from the Fargo Force, 4 small pops, 1 giant popcorn and 4 McDonald’s Value Meals. Call the ticket box office to reserve your family fun package. Puck drops at 7:05pm.
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North Pole Calling 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org Children in Grand Forks who are in kindergarten and 1st grade have an opportunity to talk with Santa or Mrs. Claus who will be more than happy to call your child and wish him or her a Merry Christmas. Calls will be made from 5pm-7pm. Register your child today!
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january events 2 & 19
10
13
16
If school is out for the day, come to TNT Fitness [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] to play! The S.O.D.C. ensures your kiddo will receive well over 60 minutes of physical activity, healthy snacks and a noon meal, quiet reading time, and creative/open play in the gym. Guaranteed to have a fun-filled day and meet new friends!
Reading therapy pets will visit the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, to lend a furry listening ear to developing readers [grades 1-6] as they read out loud. Pre-registration is required. Call 701.241.1495 to reserve a 15-minute session with a furry friend.
This one-evening class at Essentia Health [3000 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed for ‘Dads to be’ and is taught by an experienced Dad. Topics covered include adjusting to fatherhood, how to support Mom, and basics of infant care. Classroom location will be posted on a sign in the main hospital lobby. Free event, register online.
Let TNT Fitness [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] take care of your kiddos[s] one evening while you relax and catch up with family and friends. Kids will enjoy gymnastics, floor games, climbing the rock-wall, dancing, obstacle courses, trampoline time, play time in our foam pit and much more. Open to kids ages 5-12. See website for cost details and punch card opportunities.
School's Out Day Camp 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com
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Paws for Reading 701.241.1495 www.fargolibrary.org
Basic Training for New Dads 701.364.8100 www.essentiahealth.org
11 & 25
ATL120658BUnraveled1Crafters
Awesome Art Afternoon 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
701.476.5977 www.fargolibrary.org
Love art, but hate the mess? Bring your child to this interactive art programt to have fun while building a variety of take home projects. All creative materials will be provided. Adult supervision required. 1pm-3pm at Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo].
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3/1/2015 15
an informal, enthusiastic crafters group for the novice and experts alike. If you are new to knitting or crocheting, we can teach you! All interested crafters are welcome. Free. Contact Lori West at 701.476.5977 or email lwest@cityoffargo. com for details.
The Rape and Abuse Crisis Center and My Best Friend's Closet have teamed up to bring you a night of glamour, gal pals, and giving back. Enjoy a delicious dinner, dessert, silent auction, and style show at the Fargo Country Club. Social 5:30pm-6pm, Dinner & Style Show 6pm-8pm. Tickets are $25/person or $300 for a reserved table of 10. Seating is limited. Get yours now!
I’m part of a company that helps
”
every community we serve.
Your Local Fargo & Dilworth Walmart Supercenters are hiring! Hiring for ALL shifts! Opportunities include:
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
16-22
Fabulous Fashion & Friends WLMART-003West Fargo Winter Days 701.293.7273 701.433.5360 Head to the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, for ww.raccfm.com www.wfparks.org General Hiring
JLANCE
Whether you’re interested in full-time or part-time, cashier or management, you’ll discover more than a job at Walmart. This is a place where you can really make a difference in the lives of our customers, as well as your own. Come see how working at Walmart can unlock a world of possibilities.
GROCERY Deli, Bakery, Consumables
Ninja Warrior Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com
SALES FLOOR Electronics Associate
FRONT END Cashiers
All employees receive a 10% in-store discount and a variety of other benefits!
25%
Activities will include Silver Snowflake search, chili cookoff and salsa contest, sledding party, open skate, hockey fest, senior luncheon, and more! Check website for start times and locations.
Give the gift of beauty!
off!
Get 25% off iS Clinical skincare through 12/31/14 Call or email Tracy at 701.356.7052 or tracy@plainsent.com
Apply at walmart.com/apply and reference Store #4352, #1581, or #1627 or at our in-store kiosks: Walmart #4352 Walmart #1627 Walmart #1581 3757 55th Ave S. 415 34th St. N 4731 13th Ave S. Fargo, ND 58104 Dilworth, MN 56529 Fargo, ND 58103 (701) 526-1167 (218) 233-9822 (701) 281-3971
Making Better Possible Walmart Store, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer – By Choice.
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
Lesley Soine, MD | James Frisk, MD plainsent.com • 235.1924 • 2700 12th Ave. S, Ste D, Fargo
events event calendar | january
19
31
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Enjoy an afternoon of Hockey at Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo], 1pm-5pm. This free event includes a movie, open skating, and carnival games.
Get ready to create some winter magic by bringing the whole family out to this semi-formal dance affair at the Doublewood Inn [3333 13th Ave. S – Fargo from 7pm9:30pm. Let it snow outside while you dance the night away at this fantasy land. The evening will consist of music, dancing and refreshments.
Bring the entire family to Edgewood Golf Course [19 Golf Course Ave N, Fargo] and enjoy a winter day outside. Activities include Clydesdale sleigh rides, free cross-country ski rentals, and sledding. All activities during Family Winter-ific Day are free!
Hockeyfest 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com
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In Their Shoes 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com Spend an inspiring evening at the Holiday Inn Fargo [3803 13th Ave S, Fargo] supporting the 6th Annual ‘In Their Shoes’ event. Help bring awareness and support to All Children with All Abilities in our community. The event features live and silent auction, special guests, wine and gift card pull. 6pm-9pm.
Frozen Fantasy 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
Family Winter-ific Day 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. —eleanor roosevelt
Together with caring community members, Lend A Hand helped 53 Cass and Clay families in 2014 More than $8 million raised in 7 years for people in medical crisis
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
WITH YOUR YEAR-END GIFT TO LEND A HAND, WE CAN HELP MORE FAMILIES. 100% OF GIFTS ARE DISTRIBUTED.
(701) 356.2661 | 4141 28 Ave S Fargo, ND 58104 Lend A Hand is a program of Dakota Medical Foundation that helps caring people raise funds for local families experiencing a medical crisis.
december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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february events 7
8 & 22
Enjoy a snow-filled day of ski-clinics, crosscountry skiing, snowshoeing, sledding, ice skating, horse-drawn sleigh rides, a cardboard sled race at Lincoln Drive Park [120 Euclid Ave. Grand Forks ] from 10am–4pm.
Head to the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32 Ave S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, for an informal, enthusiastic crafters group for the novice and experts alike. If you are new to knitting or crocheting, we can teach you! All interested crafters are welcome. Free. Contact Lori West at 701.476.5977 or email lwest@cityoffargo.com for details.
Greenway Ski Day 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org
8
Future of Rock 2015 701.356.5150 www.elevaterockschool.comEnjoy Elevate Rock School students performing in a family-friendly, band setting free of charge at the Millennium Ballroom [formerly The Venue], 12:30pm-6pm. If you have kids who love music and you are thinking of lessons for them, come check it out!
Unraveled Crafters 701.476.5977 www.fargolibrary.org
10
Basic Training for New Dads 701.364.8100 www.essentiahealth.org This one-evening class at Essentia Health [3000 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed for ‘Dads to be’ and is taught by an experienced Dad. Topics covered include adjusting to fatherhood, how to support Mom, and basics of infant care.
Classroom location will be posted on a sign in the main hospital lobby. Free event, register online.
12, 13 & 16-19
FPS Kindergarten Registration 701.446.1000 www.fargo.k12.nd.us Is your kiddo turning five by July 31, 2015? Time for kindergarten registration! Register at the school your child will attend 7:30am6pm. Be sure to bring your child’s birth certificate, current immunization record, and a copy of a document that includes the child’s parent/guardian name and address [utility bill or bank statement]. If you do not know which school your child will attend please call 701.446.1043.
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Paws for Reading 701.241.1495 www.fargolibrary.org Reading therapy pets will visit the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo] 1pm-3pm to lend a furry listening ear to developing readers [grades 1-6] as they read out loud. Pre-registration is required. Call 701.241.1495 to reserve a 15-minute session with a furry friend.
14
Sweetheart Ball 701.232.3980 www.rmhcfargo.org Support the Ronald McDonald House of the Red River Valley at the Holiday Inn [3803 13th Ave S, Fargo], 6pm-midnight, with an evening featuring dinner, a live and silent auction, and dancing at this semi-formal event. Tickets are $75.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com
PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
events event calendar | february
14
20 & 21
22
28
Love art, but hate the mess? Bring your kiddo to this interactive art program to have fun while building a variety of take home projects. All creative materials will be provided. Adult supervision required. 1pm-3pm at Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo].
Experience a night of joy and memories to last a lifetime for a special little girl and her escort at the 10th annual daddy daughter dance at the Alerus Center in Grand Forks! This treasured event is for girls, age 11 & under and her escort [daddy, grandpa, or a favorite uncle]. Space is limited. Register online today!
Sledding, hot dogs and beverages while supplies last for the whole family at Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo]. Be there 1pm-4pm.
Bring your ice fishing rod and try your luck at the annual Youth Ice Fishing Derby, 12:30pm-2:30pm at the South Woodhaven Pond [4202 Woodhaven Dr S, Fargo] that is stocked with perch, bluegill, and northern pike. Holes will be pre-drilled for participants. This is a catch and release event for ages 15 and under. There is no entry fee and there will be free hot cocoa and t-shirts while supplies last.
Awesome Art Afternoon 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
Knight for a Princess 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org
Family Day at the Dike 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com
Youth Ice Fishing Derby 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com
sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. —unknown
Families Making the Difference
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
A child needs you! Become a foster parent, Call today! Treatment Foster Care and Family-Based Services 701-280-9545 800-766-9321 www.pathinc.org
december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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shop talk
happy holidays, teach! gift-giving ideas for teachers
story by | leann ebersviller
L
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
ove your kiddos’ teachers? We hope so! As the holidays roll around it’s understandable that we want to show our appreciation with a gift that will knock off the socks of any education guru. But deciding what that gift should be can be daunting and a bit overwhelming! Here are some things to consider when gifting your favorite teacher: less is more Don’t get caught up in the cost of the item you are giving. More money does not mean “better” gift. Consider the message you want to send with your gift and keep it within your budget: • thx Now, thank you cards are a great gift for anyone because we all should send more of them! A package of thank-you cards tied up with a pretty ribbon is an affordable, thoughtful gift, complete with eye-catching presentation. • tum fun Holidays equal baking, right? Consider making your teacher’s holiday entertaining simpler 28
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
with a food-mix gift to prepare at home. Cakes, breads, dips…anything easy and yummy is a hit. Or maybe a delicious tea to warm the soul on cold winter days. • giving gift How about a gift that gives back? Chavez for Charity bracelets are colorful, $10, beaded bracelets that help ten different charities. Each charity has a color scheme associated with it and 25% of the gross profit from the sale of bracelets in that color is donated to that organization. An affordable, beautiful accessory and it helps out a charity? Win-win in our book! gotta use it Your teacher has the potential to receive 20 or more gifts...each year! That’s a lot of trinkets, coffee mugs, and what not! Of course your teacher deserves each and every one, and while I’m sure teachers cherish them all, maybe something they can use is a responsible gift-giving option: • lesson learned “The 7 Mindsets to Live Your Ultimate Life” by Jeff Waller and Scott Schickler is a wonderful book your teacher can actually use. The authors
shop talk researched what seven mindsets the most happy and successful people now and throughout history have in common. This book presents those mindsets and how to incorporate them into daily life. Written for kids and young adults, the concepts are great to integrate in the classroom and keep our teachers motivated. For those teachers who already have the book, a 7 Mindsets bracelet [sold exclusively at Aquablue] is a nice, fashionable piece of jewelry that also serves as a daily reminder to follow the mindsets. • stress be gone Who doesn’t need some relaxation? A gift card for an aqua massage can be used during one of those weeks when your teacher really needs a massage. No need to schedule an appointment, so this is a convenient option even when a schedule doesn’t allow planning too far in advance. Or consider something to help teacher relax at home, such as a salt-scrub bar, bath bomb, or a shower-burst aromatherapy disc. • group effort Rather than everyone giving an individual gift, consider a collective class gift. A picture frame from Kindred Hearts can be personalized with a thank you from the class along with a class photo to provide a daily reminder why the teacher chose to teach and how much he or she is appreciated.
LeAnn lives in and runs Aquablue in West Fargo. She fills her days by running the store, doing volunteer work with local organizations, spending time with friends, and exercising. In addition to Aquablue, she enjoys her after hours job as a group fitness instructor at Family Wellness. LeAnn has a background in business and started Aquablue after working in a corporate environment for many years. The business was created to fulfill the need busy people have for convenient ways to relax. Aqua massage serves to relax the body in minimal time while not requiring an appointment. The inspirational, motivational, and truly unique gift items serve as convenient reminders throughout the day for people to relax, enjoy life, and feel special.
3140 Bluestem Drive, West Fargo [just west of Gate City Bank on Veterans Blvd] www.aquabluefm.com www.facebook.com/aquabluefm hours: mon–thurs: 11am–7pm fri–sat: 11am–6pm sun: 12pm–4pm
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
right up teach’s alley What does your teacher enjoy outside of shaping young, impressionable minds? Take your teacher’s interests and give a gift that appeals to what he or she loves: • goooo team A scarf or headband in team colors will help your teaching fan proudly and fashionably cheer on a favorite team. • jewelry gems Create jewelry that speaks to your teacher’s interest. The Jennifer Dahl line of jewelry at Aquablue is made in Hawley, MN, and features a variety of pendants and charms that help you create a custom piece of jewelry showcasing your teacher’s interests, such as being a book lover, marathon runner, musician, or spending time at the lake, just to name a few. A personalized piece of jewelry can even be created with the names of the teacher’s children and/ or grandchildren or information about the class, like the name of the school and year. The holidays can create some added stress; no getting around that. It’s important that we don’t put more unneeded stress on ourselves when it comes to our teachers. Keep it simple, have fun, give with love and appreciation, and you can’t go wrong! Happy Holidays! december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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pr G
rowing up on a dairy farm outside of Greenbush, MN, seems like a lifetime ago for the now fashion-forward Christine Ilvedson [40]. Armed with a business degree and retail management experience, Christine saw a need
in the Fargo-Moorhead community for a business that paid customers cash on the spot for misses’/women’s gently used brand-name clothing. After much research on stand-alone and franchise options, she found the business plan and support offered by one particular franchise most appealing. In June 2010 she opened Clothes Mentor Fargo! Like many busy moms, there is no such thing as a typical day for Christine. You may find her on the sales floor at the store, in the office working on advertising/marketing/accounting needs, or attending meetings outside the store. In between it all she will flip on her mom hat to make sure her and husband Scott’s three kids, Emma [19], Auda [12], and Jack [10], are able to attend all of their activities. Calling the Kindred/Walcott, ND area home for the past 17 years, Christine couldn’t be more proud of the family she is raising in a community she loves while wearing the mompreneur title with style!
photos: rialee photography | andrea kupfer
mom reneur christine ilvedson
mompreneur
clothes mentor fargo
what is clothes mentor?
Clothes Mentor is a unique store in south Fargo, combining all the best aspects of designer clothing stores, consignments shops, and local boutiques into one amazing location. We have a large selection of gently used designer women’s fashions, all sold at discount prices. This allows you to stop in and grab something perfect without having to break the bank. And we do more than just clothing! Purses, jewelry, accessories, shoes, and more can all be found in our store.
zippers, or missing buttons. We do not limit the number of items you bring in, but do suggest that the first time you come in you only bring 20–30 items. Processing the items is on a first-come, first-served basis so length of time may vary depending on those ahead of you. We do buy all seasons all year round as well. Finally, we price all the items using a computer matrix. Most of our items are priced at about 1/3
what makes clothes mentor different? We pay cash on the spot! No consigning, making appointments, or checking back—simple and quick. We pride ourselves on our customer service and being very fashion forward.
in three words, how do you describe clothes mentor? Fun, frugal, fashionable.
what brands/designers do you carry? We buy and sell MANY brands but some of our more popular ones are Chico’s, J.Crew, Lane Bryant, Motherhood, Coach, Michael Kors, Ann Taylor, Nike, North Face, Banana Republic, Talbots, and Born.
what size range do you keep in stock? what should we know before we bring in clothes to sell? We look for items that have been sold in retail stores within the past two years. we ask that they are freshly laundered brand-name miss/women’s pieces. We prefer they are brought in OFF hangers and in baskets/bins free from stains, fading, holes, broken
Family/Household Package Membership Includes unlimited Playstation child care to use while you’re at the Y.
YMCA OF CASS AND CLAY COUNTIES www.ymcacassclay.org
701.293.9622
december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
We buy and sell sizes 0–4X and maternity!
WE’LL BE YOUR HELPING HAND
mompreneur of the original retail and then we pay you approximately 1/3 of that.
would you say clothes mentors has a best-kept secret? Our staff! Hands down, we have a great group here at Clothes Mentor Fargo. I need to highlight our very personable Manager, Shantelle—she knows nearly everyone who walks through our door. She also does a lot of personal shopping for our customers and is amazing! She knows what I will like and what will look good on me even before I do. She’s great at having you try things out of your comfort zone and so fun to work with. Our Assistant Manager, Sam, is a social media superstar – she keeps our busy Facebook and Instagram pages going and does a fabulous job.
how would you describe your support system? Top notch! My husband, kids, friends, and extended family are beyond wonderful. Also, our Walcott/ Kindred school, community, and church are big supporters. There is no other place we would rather be raising our kids. Great community, great people.
what advice would you give other women considering the mompreneur title? Go for it! Recognize a need in your community and work to meet it. Capitalize on your strengths and recognize your weaknesses. Do your best every day and be kind to others. Lead by example.
what has being your own boss meant for your family?
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Overall I’m a happier mom. Having a flexible
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
schedule that allows me to work around our family’s needs is priceless. I also have to agree with my oldest that the great clothes, shoes, and purses are a much-added bonus!
if we peeked inside your closet, what might we be surprised to find? That it’s not that big! Honestly, I’m kind of a minimalist so I really don’t have as many clothes as people think I do! I do tend to rotate them through a lot, though. I don't keep much for long.
what keeps you motivated? Women who shop and sell at our store! We have the most wonderful customers. Seeing them dress well for less and loving their great deals is always a strong motivator. Looking your best really does do wonders for your self-esteem and attitude. Being able to see our customers do that without breaking the bank is so rewarding. It motivates our whole staff!
what is your strongest mompreneur skill? I would say delegating. I delegate a lot at home and at work. Trying to do everything myself makes for a very crabby mama and boss.
what single fashion item should every mom/woman have in her closet? Oh, that’s a tough one. There are so many things I love. But I would have to say a good blazer. Instead of putting your usual cardigan over something, throw on a blazer instead.
mompreneur
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Clothes Mentor 2551 45th St SW, Fargo [in the Old Chicago strip mall] fargocm@gmail.com www.clothesmentor.com 701.356.8010 Hours: M-F 10am-8pm, Sat 10am-7pm Sun noon-5pm Facebook [Clothes Mentor Fargo] Instagram [fargocm] december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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shutter bug
exposures by j.linnea
michelle warren photography
exposures by j.linnea
caitlin killoran photography
rialee photography
shutter bug
tiny sprout portraits
caitlin killoran photography
tiny sprout portraits
michelle warren photography
body + being
the dangers of electronic cigarettes
story by | holly scott & melissa markegard with contributions from robyn litkesall and www.onthemindsofmoms.com
donna thronson
T
he world is moving and changing fast. So fast that, at times, we are unable to keep up. From email and emoticons to e-cigarettes and e-juice, we need to stay informed for our kids’ sake.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention National Youth Tobacco Survey, the use of electronic cigarettes, also known as e-cigs, among middle and high school students nearly doubled from 2011 to 2012. The report also shows that
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
more than a quarter-million teens who have never smoked a regular cigarette used e-cigs in 2013—and those who have tried e-cigarettes are twice as likely to light up a conventional cigarette. Electronic cigarettes are devices designed to look similar to cigarettes in shape, size, and general appearance. E-cigs may be called electronic nicotine delivery systems [ENDS], electronic nicotine delivery devices, advanced personal vaporizers, personal vaping devices, e-hookahs, hookah pens, e-pens, e-inhalers, stealth pipes, and many other names. No matter what you call them, they vaporize a solution that sometimes contains nicotine, creating a mist that is inhaled. The tips of these devices often have an indicator light designed to look like the burning ash of a traditional cigarette.
Wishing you JOY this Advent & Christmas season!
St. Joseph’s School Enrollment for 2015-2016 opens on January 26, 2015 Schedule a tour with Andrew at (218) 233-0553 or ahilliker@stjoesmhdschool.com Visit us anytime at www.sjs-saints.com
There are many public health concerns surrounding e-cigarettes. Here are just a few:
Unregulated manufacturing also leads to increased safety risks, such as nicotine poisoning. Nicotine is a highly addictive drug and in its concentrated form can be dangerous. It is important to note that e-juice bottles are not required to have child-proof caps, which has the potential to lead to accidental nicotine poisoning.
Wellness Ambitions, l.l.c. When life gets complicated, we’re here to help you through:
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lack of fda regulation Currently the FDA [Food and Drug Administration] has no regulatory authority over these products. Because of this lack of regulation, e-cigs do not have the same marketing or advertising restrictions as traditional tobacco products. As a result, there is concern that youth could be attracted to these devices and potentially be introduced to nicotine. One example of this is through the availability of thousands of flavors of e-juice, which is the liquid needed to refill a rechargeable electronic cigarette. The flavors range from banana cream pie, cotton candy, gummy bear, and mint to bubble gum, chocolate, fruit punch, and coffee, and everything in between. Advertising practices from the e-cigarette industry are drawing concerns from the public-health community because they replicate the marketing of traditional cigarettes. Many of these practices have been banned by the FDA for years and include advertising on billboards and on television. In addition, celebrities are endorsing e-cig brands and the print ads can be found in many types of magazines.
body + being The Minnesota Poison Control System [poison center] reported that it saw more than ten times as many reports of children and teens being poisoned by e-cigarette juice in 2013 compared to 2012. In 2012 the poison center received only five reports of e-cigarette-related poisonings for people under 20 years old. In 2013 that number jumped to 50. Whereas previously e-cigarette poisonings were virtually unheard of in Minnesota, in 2013 they accounted for 23 percent of the state's 218 teen and child tobacco-related poisonings. Poisonings include calls where e-cigarette liquids, also known as e-juice, have been swallowed, inhaled, have come in contact with the eyes, or have been absorbed through the skin. These vials of liquid can contain fatal levels of nicotine for children [www.health.state.mn.us/news/ pressrel/2014/ecig031814.html]. sale to minors In many places there is no state or local regulation around the sale of these products to minors. The North Dakota smoke-free law does prohibit use of electronic cigarettes in the same spaces where smoking is prohibited. However, there is no statewide law
against selling these products to minors. Because of the concern of youth access to these products, many North Dakota communities have taken action and adopted local ordinances that restrict sale to minors. These ordinances also prohibit use and possession of e-cigarettes by minors. To date, communities with this prevention measure in place include: Fargo, Bismarck, Wahpeton, Hankinson, Mandan, West Fargo, Williston, Minot, Kindred, and Harwood. tobacco cessation Currently the FDA has seven approved medications for treatment of tobacco dependence. Five of those are nicotine based and include the nicotine patch, gum, lozenge, inhaler, and nasal spray. Two of those are non-nicotine medications, Bupropion and Varenicline. E-cigarette companies have been known to use language when marketing their product to make it seem like using their devices will help smokers quit. It is important to remember that the FDA has not approved the use of an e-cigarette in treating nicotine dependence. NDQuits is the free program for ND residents who are ready to quit tobacco use. NDQuits offers services such as phone coaching, a web-based option, and text messages for ongoing support. For residents who qualify, the program also offers up to eight weeks of free nicotinereplacement therapy in the form of the nicotine patch, gum, or lozenge. In Cass County between July 1, 2013, and June 30, 2014, more than 1,100 residents enrolled in NDQuits. On a statewide basis, at the seven month follow up contact, the program has a 31% success rate, meaning that 31% of people who have enrolled in the program have successfully quit tobacco use.
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We have come a long way in regard to smoke-free environments in our communities. A smoke-free environment is important to everyone’s health. With the emergence of e-cigarettes and their similar appearance to a traditional cigarette, there is concern that use of these products will re-normalize smoking and create more young people addicted to nicotine. Stay informed, pay attention, and ask questions. Your child’s future could depend on it. Holly has been a Community Health Educator at Fargo Cass Public Health since 2001 and works full-time in the tobacco prevention program. Melissa began her work in the tobacco prevention program at Fargo Cass Public Health in July 2014.
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gettin’ through it
dating…
after children
story by | heather bjur ma, lmft
I www.onthemindsofmoms.com
felt rather Ninja-like. I moved quickly out of the house, afraid that little hands were going to come after me, grabbing at my clothes, begging, “Mommy, please don’t go, we want you here!!!” I hopped into our luxurious 2005 Town and Country Minivan, scooting aside empty juice boxes, three days’ worth of mail, and a package of half-eaten Spiderman fruit snacks. There was the faint smell of curdled milk, but I didn’t care. My husband in shining armor quickly started Old Silver and we backed out of the driveway, being sure not to make eye contact with anyone inside the house who might happen to be peeping out the large front living-room window. I stealthily put on my Hollywood-sized sunglasses and looked straight ahead. Fifteen seconds later I exhaled, unaware that I’d been holding my breath…“Whew, we made it.”
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
gettin’ through it we were going on a date What young parent hasn’t breathed a deep sigh of relief upon getting out of the house for some well-deserved time alone with his or her significant other? Even something as simple as dinner…sitting across from one another, able to eat your own meal without little thieving hands grabbing your food [or parts of your body], and being able to cut your own meat, instead of someone else’s…there’s a feeling of freedom. A couple years ago, when our children were quite small, my parents took my husband and me to Usher’s for my birthday. I had a lovely meal, plated beautifully with swirly raspberry sauce on the pristine white dish, paired with a glass of white wine, and I remember feeling like an adult. It was a distant memory; a feeling I’d felt before, long, long ago, before my days were filled with Veggie Tales, Tonka Trucks, and Legos. In that moment, I felt very alive. Every time my husband and I go on a date, I always think to myself, “We need to do this once a week. We WILL do this once a week! We will make this happen!” But it doesn’t. And I lament. But such is life. So how does a young couple with small kiddos keep up any semblance of a dating life? And is it really that important?
Let me tell you, as a marriage counselor, I cannot begin to stress how incredibly important it truly is. If you could see the devastation that I see in couples who come to my office for counseling after a decade or so of raising children and neglecting their own relationship, you’d know what I mean. Good-willed people who thought they were doing the right thing by focusing their lives on the kids, thinking all the while ‘when life calms down a little, then we’ll make time for each other.’ But somehow that time never comes and life keeps getting busier and the distance grows exponentially. Then one day you realize that this person who takes up the other half of your bed is no longer your honey, but your roomie. I am often asked, “How do we get it back?” While it’s certainly possible to mend marriages, it’s easier to prevent the damage and do the maintenance work all along the journey. our culture is working against us We’ve been fed a lie in our current culture; a lie that says that in order to be good parents, the kids come first. And we’ve swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. “The kids are most important!” It’s a lie that will cause your relationship and your family to rot from the inside out unless it is confronted and torn down. So what is the truth? What is a good balance for our modern families? My number-one guideline for family life: The most important gift you can give your child[ren] is a rock-solid relationship with your spouse. This provides children with the stability and security they need to go out into
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december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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gettin’ through it the world and form healthy relationships themselves. And THAT is the foundation for a healthy life.
When a woman doesn’t feel emotionally connected to her partner, it’s typically much more difficult for her to connect with him physically. When a man doesn’t connect with his partner physically, it’s typically quite difficult for him to connect with her emotionally. See how these two primary needs interact? They must both be nourished in order for the relationship to thrive, and dating is an excellent way to do this.
So HOW Do We Do It?!?!?! 1. Intentionality! Surviving in this crazy, fast-paced world, we must live with intention. We must plan and design our days the way we want them to unfold, as much as we are able. If you want a good relationship, it will take time and effort. Good marriages don’t just happen, and marriage problems almost never solve themselves. One friend of mine has had a weekly date with her husband since shortly after their first child was born. That’s roughly eight years. Their marriage is one of the strongest I’ve seen in young parents. She glows when she talks about their date nights, and often it’s just dessert or a glass of wine. But they’ve made time to connect, and that’s the most important thing of all. She feels cared for. He feels significant. When is the last time you can say that about your relationship? Tough question, but necessary.
2.
Overcome the fear that leaving the children for one evening per week or per month will somehow damage them. Children must not be made the center of your universe; this is especially true for mothers. I’ve sat with countless husbands who basically all say the same thing, “She can’t leave the kids, and I feel like I don’t exist anymore.” Friends, repeat this mantra, “Leaving my children for an evening will not traumatize them.” In the long run, when they’re 29 and realizing how hard it is to do family life themselves, they’ll thank you for the example you’ve set for them. My children are currently four and six. They LOVE having babysitters because teenagers usually love to PLAY with them. I don’t have all day to sit on the floor and play Legos, but the 15-year-old babysitter does—and my kids love it!
3.
Money’s really tight—how are we supposed to manage a date night once a month, let alone once a week? First of all, you don’t HAVE to have a date
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gettin’ through it every week. That’s an ideal, but most couples can’t swing it, time-wise. But DO be creative! When my husband and I were first married, he was in his last year of graduate school and I was still looking for a job after finishing grad school. We didn’t have kids, but we also didn’t have any money. We would go to Barnes and Noble almost every Friday night and just look at books, sip a tall coffee, and leaf through magazines. Not only were we spending time together, but we were also nourishing our dreams, as most of the books and magazines we perused were linked to our passions and goals in life. It was a sweet time, and I remember it fondly. Plan a date during the day when the kids are at school or daycare. One time a couple years ago I had a few hours open up in my day and my husband was able to get away for a bit. We met in the parking lot in front of a store that offered wi-fi. We turned on our iPad, connected to the store’s wi-fi, and watched a movie in the van on Netflix! It was a break…a much needed break. And it didn’t cost a dime. [We also discussed the idea of simply napping in the van, since we didn’t get much sleep at home!]
If babysitters are too expensive, swap childcare duties with your friends. You keep their kids one night when they go out on a date, then they return the favor a week or two later. It’s a great way to nourish your relationship, help your friends, and let your kids have a play date! My friend who goes on the weekly dates with her husband has a great plan – she doesn’t like to pay a babysitter to sit on her couch while the kids sleep, so she and her husband always come home from their date shortly after the kids go to bed. Then they just continue their date at home. The bottom line is this: you will never regret investing in your relationship. The flip side is not as fun. Marriage counseling can be expensive, and is usually a weekly commitment, too. A date night at Barnes and Noble reading a book on marriage [or even reading a cookbook] together over a steaming hot mocha is a memory maker and reduces your chances of heading to marriage counseling later on. Marriages usually don’t die because of big events, but they do slowly erode away from everyday neglect and mistreatment. If you’re
Another friend of mine says that he and his wife always take their birthdays off of work, send the kids to school or daycare, and stay home together all day. It’s a twice-a-year mini vacay that I imagine they look forward to all year.
Make sure you receive important school district information. Register your pre-kindergarten child at https://communityed.moorheadschools.org and select Community Census or call 218-284-3400.
2015-16 Kindergarten Registration Begins February 10 & 11
Clearing the air. Smoking, including the use of e-cigarettes, is prohibited by law indoors and within 20 feet of entrances and windows. Learn more about North Dakota’s smoke-free law at Brought to you by the North Dakota Center for Tobacco Prevention and Control Policy and Fargo Cass Public Health.
N.D.C.C. 23-12-9 to 23-12-11
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Pride in our PurPose
gettin’ through it familiar with Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages,” you might notice that all five can be incorporated into a single date night. Obviously quality time would be the easiest love language to spot—a date takes time and attention. Secondly, physical touch: you can easily hold hands or sit next to each other on a date. If your language is acts of service, it might speak to your heart if your spouse opens the door for you, pulls out your chair, or picks you up at the door if you had to park a distance away. Giving your spouse a small gift on your date—a card or a flower are two simple gifts that come to mind. And last but not least, when you’re on a date, you can focus on your honey and build him up with words of affirmation. By implementing your spouse’s primary love languages, your spouse will feel cared for by you, and that translates into good times, good conversation, and good feelings, three essential ingredients to a good marriage. [Read more on this topic at www.fivelovelanguages.com] One final suggestion: many men tell me, “I ask her where she wants to eat, and she tells me ‘I don’t care!’ But when I start suggesting she refuses them all. What am I supposed to do!?” Here’s a tip: each of you write down three restaurants and three activities you’d like to do on a date in the next couple months. Then swap lists. That way when it’s time to plan the date, you’ve got a pre-approved list of places to go and things to do. Take turns planning and picking things from each other’s lists. It’s a great way to take the planning pressure off!
Be inspired to care for your relationship. Its health is the best gift you can give to your children. It’s never too late to start—maybe you’ve neglected spending time together for a while. Make the commitment to get reconnected this weekend. And don’t stop there! Plan ahead for the next several weeks! It’s always easier to find a babysitter well in advance than at the last minute. Share the planning responsibilities and see what new heights your relationship can find. You’ll never regret spending time alone with your spouse – I’ve never heard anyone say, “Oh, I wish I hadn’t had so many dates with my spouse when we were raising our kids!” But I’ve heard many people say, “Oh, how I wish we had nurtured our marriage when the kids were growing. Then we wouldn’t feel like strangers now that they’re out of the house.” Be creative and don’t forget to have fun! Originally from northern Iowa, Heather [a UNI alum] and hubby, Chris [an NDSU alum], joke about having a friendly rivalry right in their own home. She practices marriage and family therapy at Valley Christian Counseling Center in Fargo, where her areas of interest include: women and couples experiencing infertility, marital counseling, premarital counseling, anxiety, depression, abortion recovery, and stress management. Heather is a regular guest on KVLY's North Dakota Today Show where she offers her expertise on relationships and emotional health. When she's not conducting therapy sessions, she's playing Legos, reading books, and being personal chauffeur to her two sweet boys, Elijah [6] and Ezra [4]. An avid baker and cook, her secret wish is to one day become the next Barefoot Contessa.
ADD A LITTLE HEALTH TO YOURHolidays
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This certificate is good for
M
ike Andrews is the perfect mix of professional man and doting father. After earning his undergraduate degree from NDSU, this Fargo South alum headed north to attend the UND School of Law. Mike is currently
a trial attorney with Anderson, Bottrell, Sanden & Thompson Law Firm in Fargo, focusing on the areas of fairhousing law, commercial litigation, general civil litigation, and trial practice. Outside the courtroom, Mike loves to travel with his wife, Krista, whom he has been married to for 15 years; and to really see the twinkle in his eye, just ask him about his 11-year-old daughter, Lily! Mike loves to shop for her [he confesses that the staff at the American Girl store at the Mall of America, know him by name] and he’ll never turn down an opportunity to take in a concert with his little girl. Together they have seen Fifth Harmony twice, Justin Bieber, One Direction, Cher Lloyd, Little Mix, Demi Lovato, Katy Perry, and Selena Gomez. And Mike has loved every minute of it! They have backstage passes to Ariana Grande in March and it’s hard to tell if Lily or Mike is more excited!
photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske
rad dad
mike andrews
rad dad
age 48, fargo.nd
outside of work you can find me…
best pinch-myself moment…
with Krista and Lily [and usually at least one of Lily’s friends] at Family Wellness [not often enough], at the hair salon [too often], on a trip, or planning a trip.
my magazine of choice…
tough, because every day Lily does or says something that brings us joy. We are most proud of her kindness and generosity, and all the people who love her as a result.
i would like to become better at…
none, unless I’m ordering something from American Girl.
everything.
the single greatest lesson i can teach my kid… life is a marathon, not a sprint. So when you make a mistake, pick yourself up and move forward.
one thing of mine my wife would love to throw away… my nicotine lozenges.
the show i watch when i want a good laugh…
biggest pet peeve…
Gravity Falls, Simpsons.
too many to count. Occupational hazard.
every guy needs…
the phrase i say most…
a daughter.
“guess how much I love you?”
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rad dad the three words my kid would use to best describe me… Rock Star Dad. [I hope]
favorite holiday tradition… easy. Disney World.
i admire my wife most for… everything. She is incredibly talented, highly successful professionally, the kindest and most generous person I have ever met, and the best Mom a little girl could ask for. I truly don’t deserve her.
the parenting rule i always seem to break… don’t spoil your child . . . but I really don’t care.
C
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K
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
January 15, 2015
The Rape & Abuse Crisis Center and My Best Friend’s Closet have teamed up to bring you a night of glamour, gal pals and giving back. Enjoy a delicious dinner, dessert, silent auction and style show. Purchase tickets online at raccfm.com. Seating is limited. Get yours right away!
food for thought
the BEST cutout sugar cookies shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal
T www.onthemindsofmoms.com
o help make your cookie creations a success, consider the following baking tips before getting started. 1. Bake the cookies in advance of decorating with the kiddos, especially if you have younger children. It isn’t out of the ordinary for kids to lose interest quickly if they are waiting for the cookies to be mixed, rolled, chilled, and baked. 2. Dip cookie cutters [or knives if you are freestyle cutting your cookie creations] in flour to prevent the dough from sticking. 3. It’s a good idea to assign containers or plates to each child to hold his own cookie creations. As much as we love our little ones, no one really wants to eat a cookie made by a finger-licking toddler! 4. Store cookies in refrigerator for safety and freshness.
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
food for thought need: 3 ¼ c. all-purpose flour 1 ½ t. baking powder ½ t. salt 2 ½ sticks [20 T.] unsalted, softened butter 1 c. sugar 1 large egg 1 T. milk 2 ½ t. vanilla ¼ t. finely grated lemon zest [don’t skip this] how to: 1. Whisk together in a medium bowl flour, baking powder, and salt. 2. On medium speed with a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat butter and sugar together in a large bowl until well blended and fluffy. 3. Add egg, milk, vanilla, and lemon zest to the butter mixture until blended. 4. Hand-stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, bit by bit, until the dough is well combined. 5. Divide the dough mixture in half. Place one half between two sheets of wax [or parchment] paper, rolling the dough to a healthy ¼ inch thick. Repeat with the other half of the dough, placing the rolled-out dough onto baking sheets and placing in the freezer for 15–25 minutes, until firm. You may leave the dough in the freezer several days until baking. 6. Preheat oven to 375° and grease cookie sheets. 7. Remove only one sheet of rolled dough from freezer to cut into shapes so that the dough stays as firm as possible until ready for use. Remove the top sheet of wax paper, then place it back on top of the dough [this will help prevent sticking]. Flip the wax paper and dough over and remove the piece of wax paper from the other
side of the dough [so you now have the wax-papered side of the dough you peeled and replaced on the counter surface and no wax paper on the top side of the dough]. 8. Freestyle cut shapes out of the dough or use flour-dusted cookie cutters, rerolling as needed. You may need to pop the dough back into the freezer to firm it back up if it starts to stick. Repeat with the other sheet of dough. 9. Place cookie cutouts on cookie sheets with a spatula, leaving 1 ½ inches between cookies. 10. Bake 6–9 minutes, depending on your oven. You may need to rotate halfway through baking to ensure even browning. Allow to cool a bit before removing from pan. Cool completely before decorating. cream cheese frosting need: 8 oz. cream cheese, cold 5 T. unsalted butter, at room temperature 2 t. vanilla 2 to 2 ½ c. powdered sugar, sifted how to: 1. If you are using a food processor, simply place all the ingredients in the processor and pulse until smooth and creamy. OR 1. If using a handheld electric mixer, beat the cream cheese, butter, and vanilla in a medium bowl until just blended. 2. Add the powdered sugar bit by bit, until smooth. If the mixture becomes too stiff, blend a few seconds longer. 3. Divide into small bowls and add food coloring as desired. The frosting will keep in the refrigerator for one week and in the freezer for three months. To use after refrigeration or freezing, allow to warm to room temperature before stirring until smooth.
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food for thought
be nice to you
story by | kari klingsporn hitterdal
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
I
t’s the most wonderful and STRESSFUL time of the year! Are you calm and collected? Have you had presents wrapped and ready well before Halloween? Menus planned and pre-prepped, scores of delicious holiday treats baked? Are you living in a state of winter wonderland bliss? Or are you and your little ones clumsily baking Christmas cookies that you are quite certain will taste like hockey pucks frosted with glue? Maybe you are decking down the halls of the mall an hour before your son’s Christmas concert because his dress pants are six inches too short. For me, it depends on the day, the hour, the minute even, whether I am in a condition of holiday euphoria or holiday help me. 52
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen
And, to top it all off, after surviving the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, we are then faced with the dreaded post-holiday doldrums. I always have a lot of hope for the new year. I am not a resolution maker, but more of a new year dreamer. After pondering my self-assigned holiday failures, I always have high hopes of becoming a better me in the new year. I am going to exercise EVERY DAY. I am going to ONLY eat yogurt and fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch, and a sensible dinner. I am going to keep on top of my hair color schedule. I am going to get caught up on my 822 organizational projects. This year, however, I started my New Year’s Resolution way back when school started. As I organized some old photos one day, I came across a bunch of Christmas pictures. I
food for thought began thinking [stressing] about the upcoming holidays and new year and how I always seem to let myself down by not accomplishing everything on my How to Make the Holidays Fabulous list. Not enough holiday baking, not thoughtful enough gifts. And I didn’t send out Christmas cards again! And, then, something very different happened than the usual planning of endless lists and unachievable expectations. I told myself very gently, “Stop.” Or maybe it was more of a “Who cares?” I realized my greatest gifts were already in front of me. My kids are happy and healthy. My husband likes me and I like him. I have really amazing friends. Isn’t this all I need for a truly great holiday and new year? Absolutely. But there is something I still need to work on in this less-is-more Holiday Happiness Redux. Someone that I need to pay attention to who always ends up on the bottom of the to-do list: Me. We moms almost always come last. Our health, our happiness, and sometimes our sanity are so often put way down the priority list. So, since my ah-ha moment back in September, I have been slowly working on my Christmas present/New Year’s Resolution to myself. I haven’t made any earth-shattering changes, but I feel better going into the holidays this year. I love working out more at a gym where I feel comfortable yet challenged. Not every day, but more than in the past. I feel good about saying no to things I really don’t want to do or no longer serve me. I am saying yes to things that excite me or would usually be outside of my comfort zone. I am working on becoming more forgiving, more
understanding, and more accepting of others, which isn’t nearly as difficult as treating myself with love, compassion, and kindness. I am eating more salads, not eating things just because they are on my plate, and indulging in a fabulous dessert from time to time, too. I am feeding my family well when I have time and patience, and throwing a frozen pizza in the oven when life just gets too crazy. No apologies. You and I, we are good enough. We do the best we can with what we have, which undoubtedly is different from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Even the most zen of us mamas is going to get stressed out over the holiday season. But each year we try our best for our family and friends to make the holiday great. And I want us moms to have a season filled with love for our families and our friends. But don’t forget your gift to yourself: love. Take care of yourselves, dear moms, during the holidays and throughout the year. That is my recipe to share with you for a happy holiday. Kari’s passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on the shores of Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College, but has spent the last 14 years being mom. She and her husband, Brent, are parents to three children and eager taste-testers, Gunnar [14], Ava [11], and Ella [6]. Kari takes great pride in her career of stay-at-home mom, which has allowed her to cultivate her love for food and provide imaginative and healthy meals for her family. Just don’t ask her kids about meals that they have labeled “Kari’s Creations”!
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did you know
keepin’ it straight treating teeth misalignment story by | phyllis magelky
W
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e all know the importance of a beautiful smile, and as parents we are willing to invest in that smile to make sure those pearly whites are healthy and straight. Often when we think about straightening our teeth orthodontic treatment is the first thing that comes to mind. But is there more to consider? When we are faced with options related to perfecting that beautiful smile it’s important that we educate ourselves and know all the treatment options available to ensure we treat the cause and not just the symptom. tongue vs. teeth When we look at the alignment of the teeth we have to look beyond the teeth and consider the structure of the mouth and, specifically, the tongue. There is a connection between the position of the tongue and tooth alignment. The tongue is a very strong muscle and if it continually pushes on the teeth the pressure causes misalignment of a tooth or teeth. For example, when the tongue rests between the teeth it can cause an open bite [the teeth in the front do not bite together]. If the tongue pushes against the anterior teeth [tongue
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thrust], it can cause either an overjet [buck teeth] or contribute to the development of an underbite [the lower teeth are in front of the upper teeth]. Again, the tongue is a muscle and muscles always affect bone structure, whether it is in the leg or the head and face. It is said that “in the war between muscle and bone, the muscle always wins!” Per the International Association of Orofacial Myology [2014], it is also important to know that the position of the tongue is often a secondary characteristic that can be the result of a restricted airway due to chronically enlarged tonsils, chronic upper respiratory congestion, and/or the presence of allergies. Also, a noxious oral habit such as thumb sucking, finger sucking, nail biting, and clenching of teeth can cause an oral myofunctional disorder, as can tongue-tie and neurological or developmental factors. The good news is changing the position of the tongue is possible. Options include: 1. Training for disorders of the muscles and structures of the mouth by specially trained orofacial myologists 2. Habit appliances used by orthodontists and dentists. These habit appliances include the vertical crib,
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also referred to as a cage, or a rake. Please note that appliances may be used for noxious oral habit elimination [i.e., thumb-sucking cessation] as well. oral myofunctional treatment [omt] OMT therapy is tailored to an individual’s specific oral myofunctional needs with the ultimate goal of improving the function of the muscles of the jaw, lips, and tongue, resulting in correct jaw, lip, and tongue rest posture at all times and also in chewing and swallowing correctly. A successful program requires parent involvement with the child ideally practicing five to ten minutes of exercises three times each day, as well as attending a weekly 30-minute session with the orofacial myologist for 35 or more sessions. Children who also exhibit sound-production difficulties will require additional sessions as needed for the speech therapy program, although both programs can be trained simultaneously after initial muscle training is completed.
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december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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habit appliances A habit appliance is a structure the orthodontist attaches to the patient’s teeth in an effort to change/terminate a noxious habit or tongue position. When a rest-posture problem coexists with dental alignment problems both problems need to be treated or orthodontic retention will be jeopardized. Here are some of the common habit appliances used by orthodontists to treat the tongue rest posture: • vertical crib or cage This appliance is attached to the upper first molars and moves along the inside of the teeth to the front teeth. The cage in the front of this appliance is designed to close the opening that allows the tongue to move forward against or between the teeth and typically extends beyond the top of the bottom teeth so the tongue cannot move forward. It remains in place for a prescribed number of months. • the rake This appliance is used when the crib is ineffective. The rake is also banded to the upper first molars and the rake is attached to wires at the front of the mouth near the upper teeth. Then vertical wires extend just behind the lower anterior teeth. This appliance is named the rake because the wires that are vertical have points on them to provide the tongue incentive to remain back from the teeth. • vertical cage with a ‘pearl’ This appliance is the same as the above-mentioned vertical cage, however, there is also a small round tube, or pearl, on a wire formed to the hard palate intended to train the tongue to remain in its proper position.
Krista Andrews 701.235.3300
did you know pros & cons Of course, there are pros and cons to most every choice in life. The same is true of each of the above-listed treatment options parents or adults in need of orthodontia have available to treat the damaging effects of the tongue rest posture on dental occlusion. The advantages [pros] and disadvantages [cons] for each include, but may not be limited to, the following:
the treatment decision should have those professionals working as a team to provide that greatest chance of long-term success. And remember: “in the war between muscle and bone, the muscle will always win!” Sources: International Association of Orofacial Myology: www. iaom.com l More information regarding habit appliances description and pictures of appliances discussed can be found at: www. specialtyappliances.com/habit_appliances.asp
Treatment for Disorders of Orofacial Myology Habit Appliance Also known as Oral Myofunctional Disorders [OMD] Includes vertical crib or cage, vertical cage with and discussed as a problem with rest posture of a ‘pearl,’ or the rake. the jaw, lips, and tongue.
pros
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cons
• All the muscles of the face and neck required to maintain a correct rest posture are trained to achieve a correct rest posture of the jaw, lips, and tongue and also for a correct swallow.
• The use of the crib is consistent for the prescribed time, because it cannot be removed. • Changes in the tongue posture can be observed during the prescribed use of the appliance. • Similar pros as the vertical cage, the ‘pearl’ cues a correct tongue tip rest posture.
• The family may not have time in their schedule to commit to the program. • The family may not be able to commit to consistent practice. • Changes in the tongue posture may not occur as rapidly as with Habit Appliances. • The biggest challenge for the success of a program is the child’s ability to habituate the new skills to his/her personal life. It is at this point that all family members involved in the child’s life need to be aware of where their own jaws, lips, and tongues rest. Families need to be actively involved in assisting the child to use new skills in new environments.
• The presence of the cage makes it difficult to eat. • The points of the rake can cause discomfort. • The cage needs to be kept clean. • The cage does not train a correct jaw or lip rest posture. • The tongue can return to its forward rest posture when the cage is removed. • The cage does not strengthen the muscles of the jaw, lips, or tongue. • The cage will also interfere with speech.
There is no approach that has a 100% success rate. The challenge to parents in all decisions for their children is to determine what approach best meets the needs of the child and the family. Also, an orofacial myology program can occur prior to or following orthodontia. That decision should be made after the parents have talked with the orthodontist and orofacial myologist to make a fully informed decision regarding what is best for their child and family. Ultimately, providing treatment that is in the best interest of the child is the goal of all professionals and
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Phyllis is a wife, mother, and owner of Dakota Orofacial Myology. Dakota Orofacial Myology provides services in the areas of: OMD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, swallowing and feeding, thumb/finger sucking, sensory integration disorders, picky-eater difficulties, articulation, motor planning, developmental speech delay, hearing disorders, and auditory processing disorders. Phyllis, M.S., CCC-SLP, COM, and Emilee Staehnke, M.S., are the experts to trust. At this time, Emilee and Phyllis are the only speech/language pathologists who have been extensively trained in oral myofunctional therapy in the area. If you have questions about any of the services Dakota Orofacial Myology offers or to schedule an appointment, call today!
children in crisis T
he 2013 North Dakota Youth Risk Behavior Survey results show that 10% of Fargo area students admit to having attempted suicide at least once. And 1 out of 4 students indicated a struggle with depression. Abby Tow, Executive Director of the Goetz Mental Wellness Initiative [GMWI] says, “Our children are in crisis and without help many of them will struggle throughout their lives, or die as a result of untreated mental illness. If it is not your child, it’s their friend or classmate. We have to come together and help these students who are struggling.” GMWI has joined with local community leaders, businesses, and school districts to get students who are struggling the care they need. Thanks to grant funding and donations: student wellness facilitators GMWI has been able to provide funding for three Student Wellness Facilitators [SWF] within Fargo and Moorhead Public Schools. SWF are specially trained and designated school mental health staff who help connect students and their parents/guardians to the appropriate provider and insure students have a strong network of support. With the availability of additional funding, additional staff will
be added in Fargo and regionally programming will be expanded to include West Fargo Public Schools as well. access to care With an initial contribution from Border States Electric, GMWI established the Access to Care Fund. This fund can be used by the SWF for expenses like cab rides to appointments, co-pays, and prescriptions. Without it, some students would go without care. imagine thriving This community action project of the GMWI is empowering students to thrive. A vital piece of this work is the Imagine Thriving Student Board, made up of local high school and college students. They’ve come together to help other students and parents understand the mental health issues affecting students in order to erase the stigma of mental illness and to start a dialogue in communities about what it means to be mentally well and how to thrive. They give powerful presentations to schools, community groups, and local events about the warning signs of mental illness, their own struggles, and how students can overcome and grow through struggle. The Student Wellness Facilitators, Access to Care Funds and Imagine Thriving are only possible because of community donations. Your contribution will change a student’s life.
ImagineThriving.org GoetzInitiative.org
just a thought
press “pause”
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story by | kathleen wrigley
I
once said—out loud, with a straight face, and probably in front of people—“I will never let a sporting event for one of our kids interfere with Sunday morning church services.” Open mouth. Insert foot.
Then there’s the time I announced—with way too much assurance—“Kids today are over-scheduled. Eating dinner together [at home] will be a priority in our family.”
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just a thought When I flashback, I see me [peacefully] pushing our toddlers on the swing set in our backyard. Hindsight is 20/20, and experience is humbling. Parents grow and learn, just like their children. I’ve tossed those highfalutin, too-tight, high-rise, judgy pants in the garbage. Fast forward some years. We try hard to eat dinner as a family. Eating in the car counts, doesn’t it? And last year’s travel basketball season infringed on just a few Sunday mornings. I winced watching Patrick wear his jersey to church and having to sneak out, mid-sermon, to lace up for game time. Families have harried schedules. Kids’ extra-curricular activities have taken on a life of their own. One or two extras are enough for our calendars to burst. Multiply that by more than one child, and you’re putting on the miles. Parents are left breathless and broke, struggling to come up for air and re-fueling gas tanks more than once a week. We are dawg-on tired. Last week I emptied a full tank in less than 48 hours and hadn’t left town.
football, and to and from a Boy Scout meeting. This was not every little girl’s dream play date. I tried to compensate with drive-thru tacos. We ate in the car, on the run, singing the “Johnny Appleseed” prayer for our grace before dinner in the parking lot. Harper’s girlfriend was dizzy. I mean—actually dizzy. This roller coaster play date made her car sick. She sat with her head draped out the window, thirsty for air...and a pause button. When I took her home, her mommy asked, “How was your play date with Harper?” I nearly crawled under the car when she answered in plain truth: “It was busy…and in the car.” Parenting—at every stage—is busy. Each phase is different. In the beginning tiny tots need constant supervision and attention. Caretakers have zero time or space for themselves. Back then I wondered if I’d ever go to the bathroom or shower again without an audience. I giggle when I remember their descriptions and interrogations. Some things are better left to the imagination. One word that sticks in my mind is “long.”
Kids are supposed to grow and expand their wings, and participate in events outside our homes. And that’s good. Of course parents want this for their kids. They learn valuable lessons and get to explore this great big world of ours and how they fit in to it. From physical fitness to emotional, social, and behavioral development, the benefits of youth activities are endless. The problem is that there are only 24 hours in a day. Sports, music, scouts, plays and theatre or the chess team all tug and compete for the same 24 hours. And parents are frantically schlepping kids from one place to the next, often with overlapping events.
The reality of our afternoon set in. Quinn [13] had swim practice. Then Patrick [12] had football practice and professional team pictures…for football. We zigzagged across town and shoved a Barbie movie in the car’s DVD player to stifle my pint-sized passengers’ complaints. Our route took us to and from swimming, to and from
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KIDS’ STUFF WITH PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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I recently caved under the pressure of two sweet little first graders begging for an after-school play date. Harper is six, and all she wants to do is play. The nerve. Most days she’s trapped in the car, zooming all over town because of her older siblings’ jam-packed agendas. I succumbed, determined to give her some downtime with her friend. But first…
the PROS
just a thought Sound vaguely familiar? [I hope so—it means I’m not the only one AND that you’ve read my other columns!] On top of it, these mighty little creatures constantly want to eat. They barely begin digestion before needing a diaper change. And the naps…Heaven forbid you delay or scrap the nap entirely. These little buggers become unwound, over-stimulated, and unruly. You see, babies need downtime. Imagine that. They will scream and physically flail their tiny bodies when they’re tired. They need a break. Isn’t that novel? Families get so used to living in a whirl-wind of chaos that we become immune to it. We’re programmed to live in a fast-paced frenzy. We endure so much constant noise that we forget that our brains—and our souls—crave peace and quiet, just like babies, for us to recharge.
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Veteran parents remind us how quickly this time flies. Our family—like yours—does our best to navigate through the commotion of this phase of our lives. One Sunday morning, about three years ago, we found a way to press “pause.” It was after a church service.
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We unplugged our devices, grabbed coffee and snacks, and headed out for a long drive, without a destination. This one-hour drive has become our family practice, a sabbatical, most Sundays after church. For that small bit of time, we collectively press “pause” to re-charge for another week’s pandemonium. May your family find downtime in the hullabaloo of life. Press “pause” for peace, and to refuel your tanks. Kathleen serves on a number of community and statewide boards, committees, and leadership councils, and enjoys volunteering in church, in her kids’ school, and community programs/events. Kathleen is passionate about victims’ rights and helping to promote balance and fairness in the criminal justice system. She is also deeply interested in advocacy, education, programs, and research relating to the protection of children. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth-generation North Dakotan and ND’s Lieutenant Governor, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.
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december • january twenty fourteen–fifteen | on the minds of moms
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accepting
interruptions katie pinke story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
“S
o let me get this straight,” the man in the seat next to Katie said as the plane began to make its descent. This guy had spent the entire early-morning flight firing questions at her. “You like to hunt? You’re in marketing? Have a good job? You live in south Fargo?” “Yes,” Katie answered with a tinge of hesitation in her voice, as her row-mate seemed to be putting her life history together. “Well, I don’t get it. Why are you single?” he asked. “Good question,” she thought to herself, but before she could answer he made a proud conclusion. “I’ve got someone you need to meet. It’s my boss and he’s sitting up there in first class.” As Katie stretched her neck to figure out who “Mr. Perfect” was, she came to her own conclusion… he was the guy who bumped her out of first class! If Katie has learned anything, it’s that life throws us challenges, choices, bumps in the road. But those hits, bad timing, and U-turns can be God’s gentle nudge toward our greatest treasures in life.
photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
accepting interruptions “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Katie remembers her their quiet neighborhood nestled in south Grand Forks. mom asking as she lay sick on the shower floor. Katie But the pregnancy test didn’t lie. She was pregnant. was a senior in high school, just days away from her “November of 1996 I had sex one time and I conceived eighteenth birthday. “I'm sure I looked horrible,” she my son; with a condom!” she proclaims. “I tell him that recalls. “No, I'm not,” was the response to her mother. because it was meant to be. It was just supposed to be.”
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Katie had morning sickness and she hadn’t gotten her period. She was in denial. This couldn’t be happening, considering the middle-class utopia she lived in with her entrepreneur parents and three younger siblings in
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But Katie was terrified. She had a lot on the line, including the approval of her family and friends. A gifted athlete, she had a number of Division I colleges offering her scholarships to be a part of their track programs. She
accepting interruptions told her long-time boyfriend she was pregnant, but he didn’t offer the support she needed.
and just go and experience it, you will blame the baby someday.’”
“He had always been really controlling,” Katie recalls. “He was from a broken home and I think I was someone he could control because there were so many factors in his life that he couldn’t control. When I told him I was pregnant, it was just a little blip on the radar for him.”
September 10th Katie boarded a plane for Georgia while Hunter stayed with her parents. “I was 18, super hormonal and emotional after having a baby,” she remembers while shaking her head. “Leaving Hunter was the hardest day of my life.”
Considering Katie’s athletic future, he seemed to assume she wouldn’t continue with the pregnancy. He was wrong. January 6, 1997, on her eighteenth birthday, Katie told her parents what they already assumed and that she intended to keep her baby.
Katie and her parents were able to establish a routine that allowed Katie to see Hunter at least once a month and also to bond from afar. “My mom had taped me reading books and she played them to Hunter so he got used to my voice and when we talked on the phone she held the phone up to him,” Katie explains of connecting during the pre-social media and FaceTime era.
Katie now needed to look forward, but what she had foreseen in her future didn’t seem realistic anymore. Her parents disagreed. “The following week I had a college visit to the University of Georgia planned,” she remembers. “I assumed I would cancel it, but my parents were like, ‘No way!’ They encouraged me to go and then decide.” Katie loved Georgia. And Georgia wanted Katie to be a part of the Bulldog family. “I called the coach and told him, ‘Here's the deal, I'm pregnant, but I still want to go to Georgia and I don’t know quite how I'm going to pull this off and, sorry, but you probably don’t want to offer me a scholarship.” The Georgia coach was sensitive to Katie’s situation and offered nothing but support, telling her the scholarship was still available and they would help her along the way. Katie signed a letter of intent to attend Georgia in April, a week before the Flood of 1997 hit Grand Forks. Her senior year ended, her parents lost their business and home, but the biggest change was yet to come with the arrival of her son.
Fred and Jane wanted the best for both their daughter and grandson. “My parents said something very telling to me,” Katie says softly. “’The baby has done nothing wrong but if you don’t take your track scholarship
As much as Georgia meant to Katie, Hunter meant more. Before returning for her second year of college she had to make a choice. her voice Katie no longer had a relationship with Hunter’s father. “I think God used Hunter to save me,” she says with a smile. “Hunter became more important to me than anything else and I could break away from the unhealthiness of that relationship.” Katie was ready to start her life in Georgia with Hunter. She was registered for class and had family housing and daycare established. But before she left that fall, Hunter’s father filed for joint custody. “Basically there was a lot of old, past relationship stuff that resurfaced where he didn’t really want custody, he just really wanted me to be in North Dakota,” Katie states. “So I had a judge tell me I needed to ‘tend to my maternal responsibilities.’ Either I had to raise Hunter in North Dakota or give up custody.” Katie was not about to give up custody. But she also knew it was unfair she had to forfeit her scholarship and athletic endeavors while Hunter’s father wasn’t held
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the beginning August 20, 1997, Hunter entered the world via an emergency C-section. “School started in Georgia three weeks later. I talked a lot with my parents. I told them I couldn’t leave my baby but I wasn’t giving him up for adoption so the bottom line was, ‘I'm taking my baby with me and that’s that!’” she adamantly declared to her parents.
“Looking back now, that was probably the bravest moment of my life,” Katie reflects on leaving for Georgia. “I'm thankful that I did. Having Hunter and still trying to fulfill my dreams was really important to me. Now I can encourage my kids to do those types of things too. I would've never known it if I hadn’t tried. I wouldn’t be the person I am today.”
accepting interruptions to the same standard. “I had an amazing attorney who really empowered me to be strong and fight.” And she fought all the way to the Supreme Court of North Dakota with the support of her parents, friends, and Georgia family. After six months the ruling on Katie’s case was overturned and she was granted primary physical custody.
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Katie was free to take Hunter back to Georgia. And that was the plan, until one night, while she was waitressing in Grand Forks, the University of North Dakota Athletic Director offered her a position in the marketing department as an intern related to the newly built Alerus Center and Ralph Engelstad Arena. Katie was no stranger to the marketing/advertising world because her parents owned a successful advertising agency for many years. This opportunity solidified a feeling that had been growing in Katie – that she should raise her son in North Dakota, close to family. She enrolled at the University of North Dakota, joined the track team, accepted the marketing internship position, and continued to work as a waitress and at the local grocery store on the weekends.
a special crew who were willing to live with a single mom and her kid when he was two, three, four, five years old. It was pretty special.” Looking back, Karla Olson has only admiration for the friend she first met in college. “Katie always put her son first. Period!” Karla states. “She always had time for Hunter, had a “grown-up meal” on the table every night, he was in activities, he had the same routine – a very stable environment. I don’t know how she did it!” After graduating from UND, Katie took a position with a local advertising agency in Grand Forks and found her professional passion: promoting agriculture. Although she was raised in the city, Katie was always a farm girl at heart, cherishing time spent on her fourth-generation family farm. The agency had branched off to form an agriculturally focused division with its main office in Fargo. Katie found her niche. She was able to form a connection with clients and help produce the work they needed to grow their businesses, while understanding the agency’s need to be profitable as well.
The young family moved to Fargo as Hunter started kindergarten. That’s when Hunter started asking about To say Katie was busy was an understatement, but she having a dad. “He came home once and said, “I would did what she needed to do for herself and her son. Hunter really like a dad,” and I replied, ‘Well, you have a dad,’” would stay with his father every other weekend and Katie recalls. Hunter knew that, but he wanted a dad that on those weekends, Katie would waitress and take on would live with him and his mom all the time like his additional shifts at the grocery store to earn extra money. friends had. “Well, you can pray about that but it’s not happening right now,” Katie remembers telling her son. “I look back at those years and I didn’t know that I was “Then Hunter said, ‘Well, I was thinking maybe Jacob’s trusting a greater God’s plan,” Katie reflects. “But that dad would be good.’ I said, ‘Well, Jacob’s dad is married to was what I was doing. I was doing what my mom always Jacob’s mom! He’s not available,’” Katie recalls with a laugh. told me, ‘Do the next thing.’ Just do the next thing! I learned that I just had to do the next thing and trust Katie was open to having someone to share her and that things were going to work out.” Hunter’s lives with, but who? “I knew that I wanted to marry someone like my dad, but I honestly felt like A year after Hunter’s father fought for joint custody, there weren’t guys out there like that anymore.” Past he moved to the west coast. The custody arrangement relationships, disappointing dates, and backfired set-ups changed from every other weekend to five visits a year. had tainted Katie’s view of potential suitors. Katie was happy to not have the continual upheaval of Hunter going between two homes, but that year of “I decided that I wasn’t going to date anybody, nobody!” change, conflict, and opportunity was anything but easy. she states matter-of-factly. “No dates, no blind dates. I was so tired of being set up that I wasn’t going to date moving forward anybody for a year and I was just going to focus on my As Katie worked, went to school, and competed and career and Hunter. I had had enough of that scene.” then coached in the track arena, she was able to rely on a close group of friends to pitch in with Hunter as And a year later she got on that plane. she needed. “Those women were just as much a part by chance of raising him as I was,” she proudly states. “We lived A year of no dating had passed. Katie’s career was in the same house and had so much fun, but they were flourishing. Hunter was happy and healthy. Now it was 66
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accepting interruptions
from the inside accepting interruptions out July and Katie wasn’t looking forward to the following four weeks. As part of their custody plan, Hunter spent the month of July in Washington with his dad. “It was a really lonely month for me,” Katie recalls. “I hated July so I purposely booked a ton of business that month.”
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One of Katie’s advertising agency’s offices was in Kansas City and she traveled there often. She had her routine down pat: leave Fargo on Northwest’s 5:00am, Monday flight; connection in Minneapolis; walk down F concourse; stop at Burger King; continue to gate; check on upgrade for flight to Kansas City [she always got an upgrade]; 8:30am land in Kansas City; get cab; at the
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office by 9am. She had done it so many times she could practically do it with her eyes closed. Katie took her seat as the man sitting next to her, Josh, recognized her from the earlier Fargo flight. The two chatted, or, more precisely, Katie answered Josh’s barrage of life questions. As the plane began its descent, he declared, “I've got someone you need to meet.” Katie wasn’t interested. But Josh insisted. “It’s my boss. You should meet him. He's right up there,” as he motioned to first class. His name was Nathan and he was in pharmaceutical sales living in Bismarck. “You’ve got to give me your
accepting from the interruptions inside out card,” Josh urged. “We'll call you tomorrow.” Katie rushed to deplane, but not before she walked by Nathan and they exchanged smiles. Before Katie could get a cab, Josh asked one last time for her number so he could introduce her to Nathan. She finally gave in. Just as he promised, the next day Katie’s phone rang, “Hi, this is Josh from the airplane.” And that night, Katie met Nathan and she knew he was the “real deal.” “I think I had built up so many walls of resistance; I had been broken and defeated,” Katie states about her past relationships. “I was in a good place, finally. I was
confident, I was sure of myself, my career was going really well, Hunter was going into second grade. I knew who I was, finally. It was perfect timing.” A week after their meeting in Kansas City, Nathan came to Fargo to take Katie to dinner. “I met him at the door of my house and told him, ‘I have a son. He's not here right now. He's seven years old and if you're not cool with that then it’s not cool that we go out.’” If Nathan had a problem with that, then they were simply done right then and there. “I didn’t have any reservation of any kind,” Nathan says about starting his relationship with Katie. “She made it clear that Hunter was the most important thing in her life.” And Nathan could see nothing wrong with that. “We all have a past and those experiences make us who we are today.” The woman he saw was an energetic and outgoing person. “She is the kind of person who gives everyone else around her energy,” Nathan says. “She is someone who is strong in her faith and in who she is.” A year and three months after meeting in Kansas City, Katie, Nathan, and Hunter became a family. “I just knew this was it,” Katie says about knowing very early on that Nathan would be her husband. “I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me or Hunter. I knew I could trust him.” “My wife is my best friend,” Nathan gushes. “Our marriage and relationship have grown into something more than I could have ever imagined it could be.”
“Katie makes a difference,” Karla says about her friend. “There are so many things that most of us sit back and watch happen. But Katie figures out a way to improve things, whether it is a pre-school program, hot-lunch program, agriculture, improving rural communities—she
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lessons learned The last eight years of marriage have presented plenty of changes for Katie and her family. The couple moved to Nathan’s hometown of Wishek, North Dakota [a small farming community 97 miles from the nearest Starbucks], where he’s a part of the family’s lumber and construction business. Daughters Elizabeth [7] and Anika [5] love to watch big brother Hunter [17] participate in his various athletic and academic activities. And Katie has continued to follow her passion of agriculture, most recently as an independent marketing consultant and speaker, which allows her to work from home on the things she is passionate about.
accepting interruptions works for what she believes in. I am inspired by her to do more!” Katie has learned a lot over the years with a plethora of life experience to fall back on. She has been a pregnant teen, a working single mom, college athlete, wife, mother of three, and business owner. Each phase of her life has taught her lessons she never could have imagined. Most important? Everyone has a story. “I don’t think anybody’s story is better than anybody else’s, but I do think it’s your choice to define your story,” she says. “You have to figure out who you are and what choices you're going to make and base them on truth. I just really focused on not being a statistic. That was my big thing. I'm just not going to be some statistic. I have a richly blessed life.”
A mature Hunter has a special love and admiration for his mom, considering the journey they have been on together. “Having to be a single mom with a rambunctious kid like me would not have been easy,” he admits with a smile. “But through all of the hardships we went through she always did the best thing for me and her perseverance really showed.” As an 18-year-old holding her son for the first time, Katie couldn’t have imagined how quickly the time would pass. “Hunter will leave us in two years and I've never lived my adult life without him,” she says as the tears well up in her eyes. “He's defined my adulthood. He changed my life. I would say Hunter saved me. I mean he did. God used him to save me.” And as that once little boy reflects on his mom, Katie can be assured her story is impactful.
And the greatest products of her story are the three people looking up to her. Elizabeth sees the time her “Honestly,” Hunter confides, “my mom makes a conscious mom spends with her as a big bonus. “Mommy reads effort daily to better herself in some way and as her with me, plays with me, and prays with me,” she says. son that makes me pretty proud. How can you not be And little sister Anika agrees. “Mommy counts with me, proud of someone like that?” does pre-school, and sings with me. She also helps me take care of my cats!”
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ready, set, grow
ready, set, grow
weird wild wacky and way-fun family holiday traditions
story by | patricia carlson
T
rimming the tree. Hosting a holiday baking party. Opening gifts on Christmas Eve. Waking up your little ones to watch the ball drop in Times Square from the comfort of your couch. Every family has its holiday traditions but some are...well...um...a bit more ‘creative’ than others. We’re not talking about trying to get your annual Christmas portrait displayed on the website Awkward Family Photos [but if that’s your thing, we’re cool with it, we swear!]. No, we’re more interested in the unique things that make this time of year festive for your family. After all, sometimes the very wackiness of certain family traditions is what makes them so memorable. Here are some of our favorites!
ready se need some inspiration? a simple google image search for ‘babies as santa’ turns up hundreds of deliciously adorable
bundles of joy decked out in everything from santa hats to the full getup.
wee ones [0–18 months]
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
elebrating baby’s first Christmas is a big deal. It starts with the clothes. Chances are you spend hours investigating the internet or scouring stores searching for the perfect outfit, whether it be a clever onesie with matching elf shoes and hat, or a gorgeous dressing gown adorned with lace. Then it’s off to brave the gigantic line at the mall, waiting at least an hour to get your precious bundle placed into Santa’s arms, where he will promptly burst into tears/poop his pants/ spit up/or remain knocked out during pictures, totally unaware of the momentous occasion. Finally, you shell out a small fortune for the images where the only way to tell that’s your baby is by his spendy outfit.
Now, we’re all for pics with Santa, but isn’t taking care of a teeny baby stressful enough without adding this extra pressure to your holiday season? How about turning that tradition on its head and dressing up your baby as Santa instead? For only a fraction of the cost of traditional Santa pictures, you can buy a hat, make a beard out of a paper plate with glued on cotton balls, and turn a red long-sleeve onesie into Santa’s coat with a few pieces of black felt. Then feel free to snap away wherever you want! You can even create your own festive backgrounds with a little creative thinking and more of that internet sleuthing you’re so good at.
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set grow ready, set, grow
the national christmas tree association reports that the most popular ‘real’ christmas tree in the united states is the fraser fir. douglas fir and balsam fir round out the top three.
tots
[18 months–3 years]
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s they near two and three years old, your little ones are really getting the hang of this holiday thing. Fanciful, colorful lights on houses? Check. Yummy treats that only come around once a year? Check. A wish list of gifts? Check. fresh is best One of the biggest traditions for many families is putting up a Christmas tree. Although artificial trees still rule the roost [one survey says roughly 80% of American households celebrate with a fake one], there is nothing more seasonally splendid and scented than a real tree. Blue Spruce, Balsam Fir, Fraser Fir, and White Pine are some of the more popular species to buy. You can find most of these trees for sale at local charitable lots, but why not go straight to the source this year?
One of my most favorite Christmas traditions is to bundle up the entire family and head to a cut-your-own farm like Cupkie Christmas Village in Perham, MN. It always turns into an hours-long excursion with lots of hiking up and down rows of trees, marking them with extra gloves so we can remember our favorites. We’re freezing, yes, but also having tons of fun. And nothing will beat the look on your tot’s face as you yell ‘timber’ once your saw finally cuts through the trunk. The best part is that farms will trim and bag your tree for you so you can head inside and warm up with some hot apple cider while they do the tough stuff! Most Christmas-tree farms have plenty of other things to help families make a day of it, too, like horse-drawn carriage rides, gift shops, bonfires, visits from Santa and his reindeer, and petting zoos.
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ready se in 2011 an estimated 24 million americans waited until christmas eve to complete their holiday shopping.
preschoolers [3–5 years]
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his is, possibly, the best age to enjoy the holidays with your little ones. They are firm believers in WHATEVER you tell them about Hanukkah or Christmas and the sheer EXCITEMENT they feel at the impending celebrations is wholly contagious. Their wide-eyed innocence at the awesomeness that is Santa Clause is beautiful to witness and these holidays help provide us as parents the perfect opportunity to teach our children about otherwise heavy topics like religion, generosity, poverty, and wealth. These kiddos are also probably gung-ho for learning more about their families and its traditions. If you already have an annual routine established, invite your kid to pitch in. Or, if you’ve always wanted to start something up, make it a family affair and discuss your choices as a group. Your little one might pipe up with just the right idea!
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bust a multigen move One of the most fun, creative and loving traditions we’ve heard of lately is a last-minute multigenerational shopping spree. And when we say last minute, we mean it. We’re talking Christmas Eve. Here’s how it works [although you can certainly put your own twist on it]: • Invite everyone in your immediate and extended families who exchanges gifts and/or who simply wants in on the fun. Guys and grandparents are especially encouraged to go. • Gather at the local mall in the late morning. Divide by generations and sexes. In other words, moms/ aunts/sisters/daughters take the grandfathers shopping and dads/uncles/brothers/sons take the grandmothers shopping. • Shop till you drop! The fun is not only helping each other find the perfect gift, but simply spending time together. Watching your preschooler trying to convince Grandpa Joe to buy Grandma Jane a Princess Sofia doll is sure to bring on the giggles and create some lasting memories! • Meet for a late lunch together as a group and swap your shopping stories [without spilling the beans, of course]. • Head home for the chaos that is wrapping. Again, don’t be afraid to give your curious kiddos a sheet of paper and some tape. They will likely spend a chunk of time mimicking your wrapping skills and making a holy mess! Who cares what the final product looks like?! It’s the thought that counts, right?
set grow ready, set, grow
berrien springs, michigan is the self-proclaimed christmas pickle capital of the world. the town hosts an annual christmas pickle festival in early december complete with a parade led by the grand dillmeister.
big kids [6–9 years]
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hese elementary school experts know what’s up when the holidays roll around. Unfortunately, they often think it only revolves around presents. We mean, how many times can you find an email ‘wish list’ in your inbox or a catalog splayed out with gigantic Sharpie circles surrounding this year’s must-haves? This ‘gimme’ attitude can be a real drag when the spirit of the season is supposed to be about love, generosity, and celebrating the story behind your religion. We’re not advising eliminating gift-giving here. The horror!!! In fact, try just the opposite. Bring the fun and surprise [at least for you] back into opening presents on Christmas morning by delaying your children’s instant gratification. Here are a couple of new spins to give a whirl:
hour by hour I don’t know about you but in our house we had a rule: no one could go downstairs and begin the festivities until everyone was awake and ready to descend together. Only then, once everyone’s teeth were brushed and bathrobes were donned, could we scamper down to peek at our bounty. There is, however, a clever way to take this tradition a step further—you only get to open one present per hour. It will take an extraordinary amount of patience [you] and willpower [your kids] to actually make this happen, but it’s awesome for several reasons. One, in between gifts your kids actually get to play, investigate, explore, read, or try on whatever it is they’ve opened and you get to enjoy watching them do so. Two, parents get some time to take care of other things, too, like cleaning up discarded wrapping paper, setting the table, preparing casseroles, etc. Three, there is some slightly sick pleasure in watching your eight-year-old, who is hoping to tear open a new Kindle Fire but instead opened socks and now has to wait. another. entire. hour. Brilliant! Now the kids have time to help you fold the napkins.
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present the pickle We know you’ve probably heard of Elf on the Shelf but what about the Christmas Pickle? If your kids are prone to arguing over who gets to open gifts first, this charming tradition is for you. It’s actually been around a long time and involves an ornament that looks like a pickle. Yes, a pickle. But you don’t necessarily have to put it on your tree. The trick is to hide the pickle ornament wherever you wish and whoever finds it first gets to open presents first. Or whoever finds the pickle first gets to play Santa and distribute the gifts. Either way, it’s a win-win to beat the bickering. And the fun
that ensues while your kiddos hunt for the pickle will hopefully give you enough time to savor a hot cup of Christmas coffee [because you’re going to need it to get through the day!].
ready se
if junk food isn’t normally on your shopping list, consider making an exception at christmas. those tiny, single-serve boxes of sugary cereals make for good stocking stuffers. they take up a lot of room and are sure to be a surprise hit with your normally sugar-free kiddos.
tweeners [10–12 years]
K
ids stop believing in Santa at different ages, but for the most part the fantasy ends by the time they’re tweens. Even though that particular magic of Christmas may be gone, your tweeners are probably ready for a new trick, anyway. sleep on it Your tweens won’t be staying up trying to catch Santa in action but they’ll still be staying up late—trust us. Christmas Eve is still an exciting night! Why not let all the kiddos under your roof—maybe you have relatives or friends with children who are visiting for
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the holidays—have a massive slumber party? It’s an organic, fun way for them to bond and you and the other adults can rest easy knowing that they’re all together and looking out for one another. Even better, this tradition doesn’t have to end as your kids grow up. You can make them bunk together as long as you wish—it’s your house, after all—and when they start having children of their own, it can continue with a new generation. Feliz Navidad!
set grow ready, set, grow
don’t expect to find traditional christmas fixin’s if you’re celebrating in japan. even though only one percent of japanese actually celebrate christmas, they head straight for their local kentucky fried chicken chain. the tradition started after a wildly successful 1970’s ad campaign touting kfc’s christmas meals.
teens [13–18years]
A
t some point your holiday traditions may need to switch from ‘getting’ to ‘giving.’ That is one of the true meanings of these blessed holidays, isn’t it? Although you can’t force your teens to give of themselves, you can encourage them by adopting as a family some benevolentminded rituals. Hopefully, your teens will be so moved by the actions that they’ll continue the tradition on their own, even when they’re out from under your wing. link up with others One of the easiest ways to incorporate giving and promote a better understanding of the economic or situational differences between families is to find some volunteer opportunities. There are great local resources like FirstLink that can help match your families’ interests with available volunteer options. If you’d like to operate a bit more independently, you can issue a challenge to your teen. He has to identify, locate, and orchestrate the family’s volunteer mission for the holidays. This way he has a vested interest in performing the tasks and can feel empowered by being the person in charge.
The point is, teenagers can do some pretty amazing and generous things if you encourage and empower them to do so. There’s no better time to start than the holidays. Who knows, maybe your teen will set the standard for all family holiday traditions yet to come. Patricia Carlson is a freelance writer who specializes in developing and writing strategic website content and email marketing materials for businesses across the country. Patricia’s roster of clients includes a diverse group of organizations from banks to fitness facilities: Redstone Federal Credit Union, Active Screening, i1Biometrics, Buzz360, and Fit Revolution, to name a few. Her editorial work appears in publications nationwide, including Minnesota Parent, FOP Journal, On The Minds of Moms, and Lake and Home Magazine. When she’s not interviewing sources, Patricia is enjoying breakfasts on the beach with her two young children. Keep track of her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.
sources: parents.com | reddit.com | huffingtonpost.com christmastreevillage.com | realchristmastrees.org | wikipedia.com lovetoknow.com | time.com | myfirstlink.org
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For example, throughout my high school years my mother worked as a nurse at the local hospital and I would often visit her there. The children and their families who had to endure the holidays stuck on the pediatric floor always made me a little sad. By the time I was a junior and had saved enough money from my summer jobs, I would call the nurses’ station and ask
for the children’s wish lists. Sometimes I got big-ticket requests, but more often than not those kids—babies through teens—needed things to help them pass the time, like board games, arts and crafts projects, and books. On Christmas Eve day I’d roll up in my beat-up station wagon and heave bags of presents to the ped’s floor, where I’d quietly and anonymously leave them at the nurses’ station. I continued the tradition for six years and even recruited some friends to join me a few times.
oh, by the way
shopping truths
story by | deb uglem
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
I
love shopping. I love everything about it. It starts for me at home. I search through pages of magazines and catalogs looking at all the newest trends. I get downright giddy when the Nordstrom magalog arrives at my door. You know the one. That cross between magazine and catalog that with every page turn comes an “oohh, aahh” sigh. I sit on the couch for hours with my iPad asking Google about everything from makeup to housewares to boots. It’s fun to feel fashionable in your old sweatpants and slippers. On occasion you can even find me looking at cooking tools and handy gadgets. You know, they make great gifts. Important side note: Hey, Mother-in-Law, if you are reading this—it is a great gift for someone else, not me! The shopping search is even more exciting in person and especially this time of year. Tis the season for everyone to hit the mall, local boutique, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, even Home 80
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Depot, if that’s your thing. It is the time of year for even the non-shopper to enjoy shopping. I consider myself a good shopper; maybe verging on great, if you add in how much I enjoy it! I think I have my mom to thank for the intense training I have received over the years. She would take my sister and me shopping and it always seemed to be an event. We would drive 90 miles to the mall, so we were “all in” for the day. I remember walking the mall, the smells, the people watching, the snacks, and probably best of all the time my sister and I would have with my mom. We learned so many things on those day trips. She helped us find our own style and accept each other’s. I don’t care what my sister says, I still love that raspberry beret I bought [I was really into Prince then]. We were totally bonding over Zena jeans and Forenza sweaters and, boy, did we learn math. My mom is a whiz at percentages. She could tell you final sale price within seconds, even the hard
oh, by the way
Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Moorhead her home for the last 12 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [20], Tony [19], Nick [19], and Emily [17] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.
Pre-K
Preschool
Two’s
Infants & Toddlers
My mom and sister and I have been regrouping for over 30 years. When we were young mom would send us off in the mall and say, “Ok, let’s regroup by the fountain in one hour.” In high school we advanced to regrouping over lunch. We would talk about everything. What’s
So get out there, shoppers and non-shoppers, and dig through some sale racks. Feel the joy of the season and the satisfaction of finding that one-of-a-kind gift. I know I will be out and about honing my shopping skills by looking for deals, splurging on the perfect gift, and regrouping all over the place with family and friends. I also know, as much as I love shopping for others this time of year, conversations and time will be some of the best gifts I give. Thanks for the tips, Mom!
a
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tion oca
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After School
Everyone should learn how to say, “This old thing? I have had this forever. I can’t believe you don’t remember.” Of course this needs to be said without a smile on your face. Also, carrying one package into the house instead of four will save you that “look,” so make sure to consolidate. If consolidating is too difficult, shopping bags don’t spoil in the trunk; wait it out. Walking into the house while yelling, “I picked up some things for you,” can divert attention quickly. I know, I know, I sound sneaky and manipulative and I would be lying if I said my favorite pastime hasn’t brought on a discussion or two with my spouse. But I am chalking that up to the fact that we come from two different worlds. He doesn’t understand that you can’t go into Target for toilet paper without spending $100, nor the importance of having jeans in different washes. He seriously does his Christmas shopping in one day in late December. And he certainly doesn’t understand how I can go shopping for eight hours and not come home with anything. Which brings me to our most important lesson: every shopper needs to know how to regroup.
interesting is we rarely talked about shopping. It was about school, boys, sports, friends, and prom. When we started having kids and family gatherings we taught our sisters-in-law about the magic of regrouping. Our conversations changed to houses, daycare, our kids’ friends, and our husbands, and resulted in some of the best conversations and memories. Back then we used to reserve regrouping for a couple hours into our shopping outing. Today the minute we back out of the driveway it never fails one of us will say, “Should we start with regrouping?” Of course, we do and, now that I think about it, we usually end with regrouping too [sometimes with cocktails!].
Before School
33% off stuff. I could go on and on about the quality life lessons but they don’t compare to the idiosyncrasies of a “real shopper.” So, Grasshopper, listen up. Here’s the good stuff.
St art ing t oday
Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas…perhaps… means a little bit more! —The Grinch
photo: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
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