The Fiction Issue by Oklahoma Gazette

OKC’S NUMBER

UNWRAP YOUR SHARE OF $20,000 EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT IN DECEMBER DURING THE $80K MERRY MONEY GIVEAWAY. JUST DON’T FORGET TO PLAY WITH YOUR WILD CARD AND MAY ALL OF YOUR WINNING BE MERRY AND BRIGHT.

5X ENTRIES EVERY MONDAY AND TUESDAY

COMING SOON:

THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND

DEC

COOP CONCERT SERIES: WHISKEY MYERS - DECEMBER 27 GARY ALLAN - DECEMBER 31 TRAVIS LEDOYT - JANUARY 4 NEAL MCCOY - JANUARY 10 CHRIS TUCKER - JANUARY 18 COOP CONCERT SERIES: PARKER MCCOLLUM - JANUARY 25 COOP CONCERT SERIES: DUSTIN LYNCH - FEBRUARY 7 WILLIAM SHATNER LIVE - FEBRUARY 14 RANDY ROGERS BAND - FEBRUARY 15 CANDLEBOX - FEBRUARY 21 JAY LENO - MARCH 27

STYX

DEC

405.322.6000 • WWW.RIVERWIND.COM I-35 AT HIGHWAY 9 WEST, NORMAN, OK GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY 1.800.522.4700

2 D E C E M B E RDecember 4 , 2 0 1 9 |Combo O KG A Z ET TE .COM UNI_19-CGR-193 NP_9-25X12-25 VR1.indd 1

11/26/19 1:44 PM

INSIDE COVER P. 17 For this issue, readers sent in their

fiction submissions, including poetry, haikus, prose poetry and short stories. Oklahoma Gazette readers/writers sent in more than 70 submissions, and we have included a few of them in this issue. The stories and poems feature stolen elephants, a librarian with an interesting side gig, the pains of being a fan of everything and more! Happy reading! Cover by Ingvard Ashby

NEWS 4

STATE Human Rights Commission’s

Municipal Equality Index

6 CITY Vonlane route from OKC to

Dallas 8

CHICKEN-FRIED NEWS

EAT & DRINK

BRANJAE BRANJAE BRANJAE

11 FEATURE Grey Sweater

12 FEATURE Organic Squeeze partners

with Provision Kitchen

14 GAZEDIBLES cookies

ARTS & CULTURE 16 Holiday Gift Guide

17 FICTION ISSUE The Pink Elephant

by Daniel Scott Bokemper

19 FICTION ISSUE Obligatory

Apologies of the Nonsensical Kind by Elizabeth Noel

19 FICTION ISSUE Franz’ Cure by

Jeremy Lowe

22 FICTION ISSUE The Book Collector

by Betsy Randolph 23 FICTION ISSUE Ambidorksterous by Jeremy “Will Wizard” Williams 23 FICTION ISSUE Streetlight Buoys by Ryan Schwimmer 23 FICTION ISSUE Your Hand by M.S. Patton

STREAMING NOW PLAYITLOUDSHOW.COM AN ORIGINAL MUSIC DOCUSERIES

december 28

25 CALENDAR

MUSIC 27 EVENT Yellow House Revisited at

Tower Theatre 28 EVENT Gift Raps 6 at Ponyboy 29 LIVE MUSIC

THE HIGH CULTURE Stand Up & Fight/ Canna-Grudge Showdown 32 CANNABIS Cowboy Cup 31 CANNABIS

36 Self Wellness Gift Guide

COMING SOON

rodney carrington january 24

bret michaels february 1

Sugar ray

37 CANNABIS The Toke Board 37 CANNABIS strain review

FUN 37 ASTROLOGY

38 PUZZLES sudoku | crossword

OKG Classifieds 39

GRANDBOXOFFICE.COM

I-40 EXIT 178 | SHAWNEE, OK | 405-964-7263 O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

S TAT E

NEWS

Cities’ equality

Oklahoma’s average Municipal Equality Index ranking is 32, about half of the national average. By Miguel Rios

Norman earned Human Rights Campaign Foundation’s distinction as an “All Star” city for advancing LGBTQ+ equality without relying on state law. Human Rights Campaign (HRC) annually ranks cities across the country in various categories from 0 to 100 through its Municipal Equality Index. Norman more than doubled its ranking from 41 in 2018 to 92 this year. One of the main reasons is that the city recently updated its nondiscrimination ordinance to include protections for sexual orientation and gender identity when it comes to housing, employment and public accommodations. “What The City of Norman has done is expand comprehensive nondiscrimination protections, the sort that we know we need to see across the state and across this nation,” said Allie Shinn, Freedom Oklahoma executive director. “If a city in Oklahoma is wondering what they can do to really put their money where their mouth is and protect LGBTQ residents of the city, the gold standard would be nondiscrimination protections.

crimination laws, municipality as employer, municipal services, law enforcement and leadership’s stance on LGBTQ+ equality. Points are awarded for things like adopting comprehensive nondiscrimination laws, establishing a Human Rights Commission, appointing LGBTQ+ liaison to city agencies and reporting hate crime statistics to the FBI. Oklahoma City’s MEI score also improved, from 40 in 2018 to 44 this year partly due to the fact that Ward 2 elected councilman James Cooper, the city’s first openly gay city councilor. Of the eight Oklahoma cities on the index, only Norman and Tulsa (62) scored higher than the national average of 60. Jose Vega, deputy director of Tulsabased Oklahomans for Equality, said Norman is showing the state what diversity and inclusion is all about. Despite scoring higher than the national average, Tulsa is the only city in Oklahoma that lost points from 2018 to 2019. Vega said he was disappointed because the city wasn’t awarded points for various things like having an LGBTQ+ liaison on the police department. “I want to help spearhead [reporting next year] to make sure that every point is counted,” he said. “There was several points missing like openly LGBTQ+ city officials. We have two openly LGBTQ individuals, one city councilor who identifies as queer and one councilor who identifies as bisexual. Those points were not counted. … There was even another one, where that should’ve given us maybe 75 or 80 [overall points]. We have a meeting with City Hall in December to talk about how to move forward next year.”

Improving communities

Jose Vega is deputy director of Oklahomans for Equality. | Photo provided

“What Norman, Oklahoma, has done is shown us what’s possible in a conservative state like Oklahoma. These are human rights issues, not partisan issues, and The City of Norman has demonstrated that when we display respect in our laws and in our actions for all residents of the city, we really move forward. We’re so excited for them to put this roadmap out there for other cities in Oklahoma to follow suit.” HRC’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI) rates cities on criteria of nondis4

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

It’s crucial to make sure each city’s score is accurate because people pay attention to the rankings, Vega said. Dennis R. Neill Equality Center, owned and operated by Oklahomans for Equality, receives calls from LGBTQ+ people who are potentially moving to Tulsa. “LGBTQ individuals look at those scores before moving to the city,” he said. “We have received numerous calls of, ‘Hi. I am moving to this new company in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I just researched your score.’ Based on the score, they want to learn about hate crimes, about how inclusive the community is and if that score really reflects the representation here. We really need to improve that score.” Moore was awarded 0 points, and four other cities scored between 12 and 19, making the state’s average 32 – about half the national average. “There’s a huge discrepancy between Norman, Oklahoma … and smaller towns

across Oklahoma that are well below average or even as low as 0,” Shinn said. “What we know is that this is also a demonstration of how LGBTQ people live throughout Oklahoma. We have a radically different experience if you are a person living in Oklahoma City, in the city center, or if you’re a person living in rural Oklahoma. This also has so much to do with gender identity, with race, and when we think about how all of these different things intersect … these are steps forward that we have to take with a racial justice lens, with a lens to gender identity throughout the state of Oklahoma and throughout our nation.”

They want to learn about hate crimes, about how inclusive the community is and if that score really reflects the representation here. Jose Vega Part of Vega’s role within Oklahomans for Equality is overseeing the various chapters his organization has across the state. He intentionally reaches out to more remote places to help establish new chapters or empower LGBTQ+ communities in other ways. “We know that in these remote, rural areas, a lot of LGBTQ individuals feel alone. Youth are being kicked out of their homes with nowhere to go. There’s no safe places,” he said. “I’m working on rural areas to improve their lives. We’re very blessed that we live in a large city in the state of Oklahoma, that we sometimes forget the privileges that we have, the security. These rural areas don’t have that.” While there has been progress for LGBTQ+ rights, both Shinn and Vega said there’s still a lot of work to do. “The movement for LGBTQ+ equal-

Allie Shinn is executive director of Freedom Oklahoma. | Photo Stephanie Montelongo / provided

ity has had a real problem with not including our trans siblings, not making sure that we’re inclusive of racial minorities, of our Two Spirit communities, and that’s something that we’re really seeing changed in the nationwide movement and right here in Oklahoma,” Shinn said. “For LGBTQ equality today, we do not consider it equality if it only protects lesbian, gay and bisexual people. If we are not protecting our full community, then we don’t consider that a step forward. … There are huge swaths of our community that have been left behind. What we’re doing now is moving forward to ensure that we can extend those protections to people that in the past we’ve unfortunately not worked as hard as we can to protect.” For communities with little resources or support from their cities or counties, Vega said starting with a safe space for the community can go a long way. “You have to start somewhere,” he said. “You can start having meetings in your living room. Just let people come in, have snacks, have a talk, build a sense of community, and once that starts growing, you can start advocating.” Visit freedomoklahoma.org and okeq.org.

Human Rights Campaign Foundation Municipal Equality Index CITY

2019 2018 SCORE SCORE

Norman 92 41 Tulsa 62 65 Oklahoma City 44 40 Edmond 19 19 Lawton 17 17 Broken Arrow 12 12 Stillwater 12 12 Moore 0 0

SATURDAY DEC. 14TH CHECK IN 1 MILE FUN RUN $20 5K $35

Open to all ages and abilities. All runs begin and end at SandRidge Energy – 123 Robert S. Kerr. Enjoy free drinks and snacks, a photo booth, music, family activities, and more. Cash prizes awarded to top finishers. Don’t forget to wear your most festive attire!

UNI_19-RP-246_Springboard Mile.indd 1

7:30AM 9:00AM 9:30AM

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO REGISTER NOW, VISIT DOWNTOWNINDECEMBER.COM

11/26/19 3:255 PM

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

NEWS

STAGE DOOR THEATRE IN COOPERATION WITH CHESTER’S PARTY BARN PRESENTS

. S . B . andals c T S o g i n i t s d a Rlaer Park Broadc

Sh o w e r t a e h T Dinner

Trai

Stage Door Theatre

WITH

5201 Cimarron RD NW Piedmont, OK 73078 405-640-5095

PRODUCED BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT BAKER’S PLAYS

DECEMBER 6,7, & 8

FRIDAY & SATURDAY @ 7PM SUNDAY @ 5PM

TICKETS AVAILABLE THROUGH TICKETSTORM.COM - PAPER TICKETS (CASH OR CHECK ONLY) SOLD AT THE OLD STORE IN PIEDMONT, OK - $35 PER TICKET

e Home for m Co

the Holidays Presented by

The American Spirit Dance Company Jo Rowan, Director

One Weekend Only! December 5-8

“It was an evening of high energy and spectacular dancing, smooth, polished and highly effective.” -Oklahoma Gazette

okcu.edu/tickets 405-208-5227 6

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

CIT Y

TICKET PURCHASE DEADLINE IS 2 DAYS BEFORE EACH PERFORMANCE, DUE TO DINNER COUNT FOR CATERER

Luxury lanes

A motor coach company boasting first-class service is starting a route between Oklahoma City and Dallas. By Miguel Rios

Vonlane, a Dallas-based luxury motor coach company, is expanding outside its home state and launching a bus route between Oklahoma City and Dallas. Service begins Jan. 6, the same date Southwest Airlines will stop nonstop flights between the two cities. Vonlane is known for its complimentary Wi-Fi, leather seats and spacious interior, as each motor coach only seats 22 people. Alex Danza, founder and CEO, said they already planned to launch the route between OKC and Dallas, but Southwest’s move accelerated things. “We had always had our eye on the route,” he said. “Frankly, there were other routes that were ahead of it in our progression in our plan, but when Southwest decided to pull out that route, we saw that there were about 200,000 people a year that fly between [Dallas Love Field Airport] and Oklahoma City. And we felt that we could be a solution for that now that Southwest isn’t going to be doing that flight directly anymore, so we moved Oklahoma City up in our progression.” OKC-Dallas fares per passenger are $99 one way or $198 round trip with no baggage fee or price fluctuations. The route will operate between Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel and DoubleTree Love Field Hotel in Dallas. Its buses will depart four times daily on weekdays every four hours from 6:15 a.m. to 6:15 p.m. Passengers can enjoy several complimentary items and services like videoon-demand, a neck pillow, a sleeping mask, toothbrush kits and ear plugs. Additionally, passengers can borrow items including select device chargers, noise-cancelling headphones, a standard pillow and a blanket. There are also comVonlane boasts first-class service with a slew of complimentary amenities. | Photo provided

plimentary snacks, meals and beverages all free of charge except for alcoholic drinks, which range from $4 to $6. “Our service is VIP, luxury service. You’re with 21 other people maximum, not 200 other people. It’s nonstop. It’s direct. There’s an attendant onboard every trip that is catering to your every whim,” he said. “We have an exhaustive list of amenities, food items like smoothies and meals and tons of different types of snacks. It’s very much a first-class experience. The feedback that we get from people is, ‘It’s better than a first-class trip I’ve taken on American Airlines.’” Vonlane had its first trips in April 2014 between Dallas and Austin. Danza said Texas was a great market to get started because five of its major cities are all at least 200 miles apart. “We started very humbly with two motor coaches going back and forth

Vonlane motor coaches only seat 22 people maximum, making for a spacious experience. | Photo provided

between Dallas and Austin,” he said. “We had four departures from each city to the other a day, and now we’re running over 70 departures around the state of Texas on a typical weekday. So it’s really taken off in the past five and a half years.” Danza said Vonlane is a great option for business people who bill their time since they can ride and work the whole way. Because of that, the company initially marketed solely to business travelers but over time began to notice its service also attracted retirees and college students. “That’s what got us started, the business traveler, but we have transitioned really into an airline on the ground that attracts all types of travelers. We have a heavy leisure segment as well as a heavy business segment; it’s probably 50-50 depending on the day of the week,” Danza said. “We have some really great demographics of people that travel with us. We were really surprised to find the elderly are big fans Vonlane because it’s just too much of a hassle for them to go through the airport and go through security to get through the gate, and their loved ones don’t want them driving anymore to come visit. We have people in their late 90s who are traveling with us and telling us, ‘You have given me my

freedom back to go see my family.’” Danza said the annual Red River Showdown football game makes for a major weekend. “That’s a huge weekend for us every year between Houston and Austin and Dallas-Austin. It’s amazing what happens that week,” he said. “We do a lot of work with the Texas Exes organization, so they charter a couple of vehicles for their VIPs. We bring them from Austin up to the game. … We’re hoping things like that will start to generate and develop with [University of Oklahoma] as well, where we can work with their alumni association and things like that.” Vonlane’s routes currently serve Austin, Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston and San Antonio. Though it doesn’t seem likely in the immediate future, Danza said service between Tulsa and Oklahoma City is on its list of potential routes.

Vonlane CEO Alex Danza founded the company in 2014 with two motor coaches going between Austin and Dallas. Today, Vonlane services five major cities and adds Oklahoma City Jan. 6. | Photo provided

“Everything is prioritized, and it’s not something I can say right now is going to be the next route we do,” he said. “A lot of it will obviously depend on how Dallas-Oklahoma City does. We would want to see that Oklahoma City embraces service and that there’s a ridership from Oklahoma City to Dallas. That will bear heavily on a decision to do other routes out of Oklahoma City.” Danza believes the OKC-Dallas route will be a success once people try it out and tell others about their experience. “The service speaks for itself. Our customer satisfaction levels are through the roof. People really, really enjoy the service once they give it a try,” he said. “The fact that we’re not competing with an airline, I think, really positions the route for success. … We were able to be wildly successful on routes like DallasAustin, Dallas-Houston, Austin-Houston, and we were competing with Southwest Airlines, which is a great company. … This is the first route we’re doing that we’re not competing with Southwest.” Visit vonlane.com.

KEEP OKLAHOMA CITY MOVING FORWARD… VOTE YES DECEMBER 10 When it began MAPS had one goal: to make making Oklahoma City a place we all want to live. We’ve come a long way, but we can do better in making certain everyone benefits from our growth. MAPS 4 will put Oklahoma City at the forefront of cities investing in addressing needs such as homelessness, domestic violence, mental health, addiction and public transit. Many of the proposed projects will work together, collaborating to offer more services, more efficiently –all without raising taxes. With 16 projects this is the most diverse in the long successful history of MAPS—making our city a place where everyone wants to live and where everyone can benefit.

VOTE YES DECEMBER 10 @loveyourokc

@yesformaps

@loveyourokc

Authorized and paid for by Citizens for MAPS 4

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

chicken

friedNEWS

No sale

Gov. Kevin “Coffee Is for Closers” Stitt has repeatedly said he wants to run Oklahoma like a business — without specifying exactly what kind of business he’s running. Following stalled negotiations over tribal casino gaming compacts, Choctaw Chief Gary Batton seems to have a guess. “It felt like a used car salesman thing, telling me I need a vehicle, and I’m saying, ‘No, I don’t. I have a good vehicle,’” said Batton in a Nov. 25 Tulsa World story. The tribes say the compacts — which allow their casinos exclusive rights to provide slot machines, roulette, craps and card games in Oklahoma — will renew automatically next year. Stitt, who wants to raise the rate of the fees tribes are required to pay to maintain this exclusivity, insists the compacts, negotiated in 2004, expire Jan. 1, 2020. For negotia-

wrote that he wanted to renegotiate the compacts to reflect “the current fairmarket contribution to the growth of the gaming industry,” but his aggressive hard sell seems to be scaring his potential customers off the lot before they’ve even had a chance to kick the tires. To quote Kurt Russell’s character in Used Cars, “You have to get their confidence, get their friendship, get their trust. Then get their money.”

Extradition escapade tions thus far, this disagreement has been a real banana in the tailpipe. According to a statement Oklahoma Indian Gaming Association issued to News 4, “Governor Stitt’s stance on autorenewal has created a barrier to engaging in meaningful discussions about rates. … The Tribes would be willing to engage in an honest and good faith discussion on rates when the current dispute with Governor Stitt is resolved.” In fiscal year 2018, according to Oklahoma Policy Institute, 131 casinos operated by 31 tribes made $2.3 billion on class III games and $138.6 million to the state’s Education Reform Fund, General Revenue Fund and Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services. Stitt, in a July Tulsa World op-ed,

In the most famous scene in the movie version of The Fugitive, Harrison Ford’s Dr. Richard Kimble escapes Tommy Lee Jones’s Samuel Gerard by taking a deathdefying plunge off the side of a dam. One difference between that cinematic scene and a real fugitive case that played out at Will Rogers World Airport is that law enforcement was present when the suspect made a leap of faith. The other difference is that the suspect — a teenager wanted for felony burglary in Cleveland County who was being extradited from Houston — was easily apprehended. Apparently, there was a miscommunication between law enforcement entities that allowed the teenager to be without law enforcement supervision after his plane arrived from Houston in late November, according to KOCO. The suspect leaped off the plane and

ran across the tarmac before jumping 22 feet from a building and broke an ankle. According to KOCO, Cleveland County deputies were told by Oklahoma City Police Department (who has jurisdiction at the airport) to wait for the suspect in their car outside the terminal because the police thought the suspect was being escorted by Houston law enforcement. “The appropriate protocol does not appear to have been followed on our end,” Oklahoma City Police officials told KOCO. Maybe local law enforcement officials will be ready with an Oscar-worthy speech like the one Tommy Lee Jones gave in the 1993 film the next time they’re in charge of a fugitive extradition.

Bedbug battle

Several statewide agencies, including Oklahoma Department of Education, are struggling with unwanted visitors. This time, however, instead of teachers or parents asking for better funding and support, it’s those pests nobody seems to know if you spell as one word or two: bedbugs. (AP style rules. Sorry.)

IT’S TIME TO DRAW THE LINE. C AT O K C

OWE R IT Y + T OMMUN

T H E AT

E N J OY T H E I N AU G U R A L

U P TOW N 2 3 R D H O L I DAY L I G H T S N OV E M B E R T H R O U G H JA N UA RY J O I N U S AT T H E

Big Tobacco puts profits over people — and it’s hurting Oklahoma. In our state: - $2 billion is spent on tobacco-related health care costs every year - 1,800 kids become new daily smokers each year - 1 in 6 kids use e-cigarettes

H O L I DAY L I G H T S B LO C K PA R T Y F O R F R E E S A N TA P H OTO S | L I V E M U S I C | F O O D T R U C K S + M O R E S P O N S O R E D BY O KC C O M M U N I T Y + TOW E R T H E AT R E

THAT’S By implementing common-sense tobacco policies, we can save Oklahoma from the clutches of Big Tobacco. Learn how to fight back at

THANK T H A NYOU K YO UTO TO OUR O U R S PSPONSORS ONSORS

Uptown Holiday Lights.indd 1

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

11/12/19 11:19 PM

Oliver Hodge Memorial Education Building is a five-story building that also houses at least three other agencies — not to mention the fact that it’s on the same campus as the State Capitol — so it’s a large building with a lot of foot traffic. “People may be bringing them from the outside in,” Clayton Schiegg, ABC Home & Commercial operations manager, told KFOR. “They bring them in from clothing, jackets, purses, backpacks, things like that.” An initial email was sent to employees in late September that they were planning a pest spray treatment for the entire building. Weeks later, a second email confirmed they had bedbugs. “Then a third email goes as far as offering staff the opportunity to have their homes treated for bedbugs at cost,” reported KFOR’s Chase Horn. “Schiegg says that makes sense because that’s probably how this whole thing started.” Officials have already paid nearly $7,200 to treat bedbugs, according to CNHI News Oklahoma’s Janelle Stecklein. A spokesman for Office of Management and Enterprise Services, which manages the building, told Stecklein that only one dead bedbug was discovered inside the building. However, a spokeswoman for the state’s department of education1told11/11/19 Stecklein4:46 GazetteHalf.pdf that they had found five bedbugs in the

building since Oct. 25. Though the department didn’t want to go on camera, they did release a statement saying there was visual confirmation of five bedbugs with two individuals reporting bites that “may or may not be consistent with bedbugs.” “There is no evidence of an actual infestation,” the statement reads. But like Schiegg told KFOR, if five bugs have already been found, there’s probably several more hiding across the building. Officials have already placed glue traps after a woman complained about receiving more bites, which doesn’t seem like the most effective idea, but it’s probably better than burning down the PM whole building.

CMY

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

c o n n e c t

t o

Confidence a t C e n t r a l

UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL OKLAHOMA TM

uco.edu

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

ucobronchos

uco.bronchos

UCOBronchos

EAT & DRINK

F E AT U R E

Chef Andrew Black co-owns Grey Sweater, Black Walnut and La Baguette Deep Deuce in the same complex. | Photo Alexa Ace

No allegiance

With a tiered tasting menu, Grey Sweater prepares over 1,000 dishes per week — just don’t ask to see a menu in advance. By Jacob Threadgill

Along Walnut Avenue in Deep Deuce, chef Andrew Black is asking diners to trust in his and his staff’s expertise to take a leap of faith for a unique dining experience at Grey Sweater—the third restaurant concept Black co-owns and oversees, all three connected to The Maywood apartments. Grey Sweater, 100 NE Fourth St., is the most ambitious of the three restaurants, joining La Baguette Deep Deuce, which is Black’s take on the Norman French bakery concept Rudy Khouri (Black’s business partner) founded in Norman more than 30 years ago, and Black Walnut, which opened earlier this year and takes diners on an around-theworld culinary and cocktail tour in a traditional restaurant menu setting. While the first two concepts showcase Black’s culinary flair, Grey Sweater is where all the rules go out the window. The name was chosen because the eponymous color has what Black refers to as “no allegiance,” which has become a mantra of sorts for the culinary staff. The sweater is to represent the warmth of service provided at the restaurant. Open Wednesday-Saturday for dinner, Grey Sweater is a tiered tasting menu restaurant that lives up to its “no allegiance” pedigree by serving different dishes across each of its five, seven and 10-course meals. There is no menu available online, and one is not provided when guests arrive. After diners make reservations for

the coursed meals that are $87 (fivecourse), $127 (seven-course) and $177 (10-course) per person and include wine pairings for $60, $100 and $150, restaurant staff interview each guest to build courses cognizant of food allergies and diets. Grey Sweater has a wine list more than 400 bottles long, which doesn’t include a reserve list. Cocktails also change with the food menu. “We have those requests every night, whether its gluten, dairy or nuts, and have the ability to make sure you don’t

miss out on anything,” Black said of the reservation interviews. “People call and ask what we’re cooking next week. It’s not about what we’re cooking next week; it’s about making sure that you’re here.” Serving its first guests in October, Grey Sweater is the culmination of months of preparation. Black is on the phone with distributors all over the world — from New York to Italy and Spain — to find ingredients and inspiration for upcoming menus that change by the day and the meal. “People might say, ‘Why can’t I see a menu?’ There’s a reason we don’t do that,” Black said. “Perception is a bitch. If I show you a menu right now, you’ve already decided what you want to eat from what you don’t want to eat. We’ll have a customer, and they’re like, ‘Oh my God; I don’t like fish.’ I’ll ask if they’re allergic, and the answer is, ‘No. I just don’t like it.’ Well, you can’t make that decision until you taste my fish.” In an interview with Oklahoma Gazette, Black said the restaurant debuted a dish in its second week that took four months of preparation. After all that planning, the dish was gone as quickly as it arrived. When asked if he could provide specifics on the dish, Black declined. “[I] can say what it is, but then you’ll never see it again,” he said. “Life is short.” Grey Sweater offers seating around the bar to watch the kitchen in action for a communal experience, intimate seating for couples and group setups perfect for business discussions. “We’ve seen people become friends without a table; we’ve seen people catch up with people [that they haven’t seen in awhile],” Black said. “We’ve seen a lot of miraculous things happen over in this room.” The restaurant is capped at 53 guests per evening, and it’s not interested in turning tables; it is the guest’s seat for

the evening, which Black said lasts about two to three hours, depending on the coursing. The need to turn tables is just one of the many restaurant rules that Grey Sweater is subverting. Instead of building a menu to what guests want (allergies and dietary restrictions aside), it is asking diners to put their trust in the staff, which is led in day-to-day operation by executive sous chef Corey Orsburn. “I come from restaurants where [the job is] get in there and cook 500 of the exact same thing over and over again,” Orsburn said. “Being here, away from that with a free thought process, is incredible. [The menu] changes as much as we want it to. The fact people can come in here and not ever see a menu is really intriguing to me. We can change the menu overnight if we got to the farmers market and see produce we want to change. I love that; everything about that is awesome. It’s obsessive for me.” During the interview, Black took out the calculator app on his phone and began crunching the numbers for the amount of dishes Grey Sweater will produce based on maximum occupancy (53 seats) that average a seven-course dinner. It comes out to 1,484 per week and over 69,000 dishes every year. Chef Auguste Escoffier is credited with codifying modern French cooking methods like the five mother sauces, among other contributions in the mid 19th century. “[Escoffier] laid down the rules long time ago that have come all the way to Oklahoma City,” Orsburn said. “There are rules you don’t break and certain things you don’t do, but that’s what we do here.’ That’s what it’s so fun and intriguing. That’s that gray area. I love everything about it.” Visit chefandrewblack.com/greysweater#reservations.

Grey Sweater offers seating around the bar — to watch the kitchen in action — or in its dining area and sits a maximum of 53 people per night. | Photo Alexa Ace O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

EAT & DRINK J OY I S P E R S O N A L

Make someone’s season brighter with truly personalized gifts they’ll never forget.

T h in g sR e me mbe re d .com

SAVING IS PERSONAL TOO GET $10 OFF YOUR PURCHASE USE CODE: JOY19 Offer valid on purchases of $50 or more through 12/13/19 online and in store. Not valid on select items. Offer cannot be combined with any other promotions. Additional exclusions may apply.

Large selection of beanies, scarves, gloves, earmuffs...and even dog sweaters starting at $12!

www.shop.lushfashionlounge.com 14101 N May Ave, #114 Oklahoma City, OK 73134 Mon-Sat 10:00am-7:00pm Open Sundays in December 12pm-5pm

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

F E AT U R E

PENN SQUARE MALL

Juice and eat

A partnership with Provision Kitchen and Hal Smith Restaurants turns Organic Squeeze into a one-stop shop with grab-and-go food options. By Jacob Threadgill

For years, Organic Squeeze and Provision Kitchen operated as friendly businesses separated by the parking lot at Nichols Hills Plaza. Now, with the help of Hal Smith Restaurants (HSR), the three Oklahomabased businesses are combining forces to make Organic Squeeze a one-stop shop for healthy options in their home state. Provision Kitchen founder Whitney McClendon closed its brick-and-mortar location in early 2019 and has partnered with Robert Rhodes of Organic Squeeze to build a commercial kitchen in Edmond that stocks grab-and-go options at the original Organic Squeeze in Nichols Hills, 6436 Avondale Drive, as well as a new location in Norman, 3770 W. Robinson St., Suite 100, which was facilitated by HSR. The triumvirate began as a duo partnership about two years ago when Tracy Smith, HSR’s project design administrator and daughter of founder Hal Smith, wanted to introduce a healthy concept to HSR’s portfolio of concepts in her hometown of Norman. “For years, my dad and I went back and forth and he didn’t know if Norman was ready for it,” Smith said. “Finally, once I got introduced to Robert and brought my dad up here, we really just wanted to back him and expand Organic Squeeze. Once we met Whitney, it was the perfect fit. I knew it was going to be a success.” As HSR and Organic Squeeze began drawing plans, there was something missing from Rhodes’ comfort zone:

more substantial food options beyond smoothies and cold-pressed juices. “People would come into [Provision Kitchen] and say, ‘I wish you had frozen yogurt or made smoothies,’ and we’d tell them to go over there,” McClendon said. “[Organic Squeeze would] send people over to us when looking for similar quality. … Robert had dipped his toes in [food preparation] before and didn’t like it. They came over in December to try stuff. It just so happened that behind the scenes, we had opportunity to get out of our brick-and-mortar, and I thought it would be perfect.” McClendon was able to get out of the lease at 6443 Avondale Drive as Balliet’s made the move out of Classen Curve and was looking for a new space. While closing Provision Kitchen’s physical location meant losing its signature salad bar and hot food, McClendon was excited to revamp its grab-and-go section with higher quality ingredients without raising prices thanks to HSR’s bulk pricing on goods. She is proud to serve all organic, soyfree, dairy-free and pasture-raised chicken and beef or wild-caught fish in Provision Kitchen’s grab-and-go section available by the front counter at every Organic Squeeze. “Every successful juice bar has food and snack options,” Rhodes said. “Whitney does phenomenal quality food and snacks, and when we added that component to Organic Squeeze, we were able to be that one-stop shop.” Rhodes founded Organic Squeeze

Cold-pressed juice offers more nutrients than store-bought, pasteurized juice. | Photo Alexa Ace

in 2013 with cold-pressed juices and fresh smoothies designed to optimize nutrient absorption. The 5,500 squarefoot commercial kitchen that Organic Squeeze and Provision Kitchen partnered to undertake operates as a centralized kitchen to ensure consistency by keeping its production facility at 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Organic Squeeze manufactures its smoothie packs and its cold-pressed juice production at the facility. Rhodes said each bottle of juice has about 2 1/2 to three pounds of fruits and vegetables. Cold-pressing differs from bottled juice found at the grocery store because most of it goes through high-pressure pasteurization, which provides a longer shelf life but removes a lot of the nutrients. “You couldn’t sit there and chew that much produce,” Rhodes said. “The biggest difference between a bottle of juice you find at the grocery store and fresh-pressed is that you have living enzymes and it’s the key to living a heather lifestyle.” The centralized kitchen allows consistency products to be shipped to Nichols Hills and Norman locations, but it is strategically placed for future expansion based around a 300-mile radius. “We’re already looking at other sites,” Smith said. “We want to expand all across Oklahoma.” In the grab-and-go cooler, Provision Kitchen offers vegan salads that have an option of adding pasture-raised, organic chicken. There are also composed meals like braised chicken in tomato sauce with root vegetable mash and sautéed spinach, soups and grassfed beef chili. For snacks, it offers peanut butter balls made with all-natThe Provision Kitchen grab-and-go section in Organic Squeeze offers salads, soups and readyto-eat entrees. | Photo Alexa Ace

ural ingredients, vegan almond bars and sprouted almonds. They also have organic chicken bites that are coated in plantain chips and coconut oil for a guilt-free version of a chicken nugget. The process of soaking almonds in water activates its sprouting process that breaks down proteins that inhibit nutrients, McClendon said. “A Green Green juice with sprouted almonds is a great snack,” she said. “They’re really crispy and delicious, and people love them. They’re coated in pink Himalayan salt, which has 87 vitamins and nutrients, stuff that we’re deprived of.” McClendon and Rhodes monitor health food trends, which is an everchanging science, but are committed to providing the best quality ingredients, including Oklahoma produce as much as possible. They don’t use any processed or hydrogenated oils like vegetable oil, which was long thought to be a healthy option because it reduces cholesterol but actually promotes internal inflammation because of its high linoleic acid content. Organic Squeeze also offers cleanse programs that can be juice-only or include food and snacks. Clients can choose options for up to five days per week, and a day’s worth of food ranges from $55 to $60 per day. Clients can order packages online and pick them up in the store on Mondays and Wednesdays. “I believe in a balance, if it’s sourced correctly,” McClendon said. “If you’re eating grain and soy [fed animals], it’s horrible for you, but if it’s sourced correctly, it is a tremendous source of nutrients. It’s about a balance. If you’re following a certain diet and you’re frustrated because you can’t find places that offer that, we have a solution. If you want healthy, delicious food, you can pick anything off the shelf.” Visit organic-squeeze.com.

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

GAZEDIBLES

EAT & DRINK

Cookie jar

Keep your cookie jar well-stocked this holiday season in advance of Santa’s arrival with inventive and comforting selections from these seven establishments. By Jacob Threadgill with provided and Gazette / file photos

Nashbird

1 NW Ninth St. nashbirdchicken.com | 405-600-9718 Nashbird has certainly found success since opening in Automobile Alley, as locations in Edmond and Norman will be open shortly. Nashville-inspired hot chicken isn’t the only thing powering its success. It’s also a go-to spot for one of the best chocolate chip cookies in the city. Huge chucks of chocolate make the cookies extra moist and are the perfect way to end a meal.

The Hall’s Pizza Kitchen

1004 N. Hudson Ave., Suite 106 thehallskitchen.com | 405-600-1991 The same oven that cooks The Hall’s Pizza Kitchen’s pizzas at impossibly high temperatures is used earlier in the day as it is getting up to temperature to cook its array of cookies that have something everyone can eat. Flavors include a salted caramel chocolate chip cookie, brown sugar snickerdoodle, lemon drop sugar and M&M’s in addition to gluten-friendly and vegan chocolate chip options.

Café 7 Pastaria and Delicatessen

14101 N. May Ave., Suite 117 cafe7okc.com | 405-748-3354

While you might think Café 7 is synonymous with great pasta, pizzas, salads and sandwiches, it’s also wise to leave room for dessert when visiting either the N. May Avenue or downtown location. Café 7’s huge and soft chocolate chip cookies are the perfect end to a meal and are easily portable. They get a miniature Hershey’s bar in the middle of each cookie for maximum chocolate.

Timeless signaTure

Cranberry Crumb Bread Pudding

Family

FavoriTes

Served with a scoop of Sea Salt Carmel Ice Cream

$6 ALL DAY, EVERY DAY IN DECEMBER

KITCHEN OPEN UNTIL

MIDNIGHT TH-F-S

LUNCH ö DINNER ö DRINKS BRUNCH

NOW SERVING RAMEN! GRANDRESORTOK.COM I-40 EXIT 178 I SHAWNEE, OK I 405-964-7263 14

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

SAT & SUN 10AM

HAPPY HOUR $2 DOMESTICS $6 OLD FASHIONS

4:30P - 6P MON-FRI

7301 N MAY, OKC ö 405-242-6100

WWW.NEDSSTARLITELOUNGE.COM

Cities Ice Cream

23 W. First St., Suite 100, Edmond 405-254-6676 While you might be familiar with Capitals Ice Cream in Midtown, its new store in Edmond is the first step in an ambitious expansion for the future. Cities has the same fruit- and dessertfilled ice cream, but it adds in-housebaked cookies — like salted chocolate chip, peanut butter with mocha chocolate and Reese’s crumbles and chocolate caramel with white chocolate icing, caramel and Rolo’s pieces — to the mix.

Make it a Happy Holiday

with cookie trays, party trays & party subs, breads & pastries

1 Smart Cookie

12100 N. Rockwell Ave., Suite 7 1smartcookie.com | 405-721-5959 Whether you want ornately decorated sugar cookies or interesting, delectable treats, there is no better option with which to stock Santa’s cookie jar than 1 Smart Cookie. You can get a steady stream of cookies coming your way the entire holiday season with the offerings at 1 Smart Cookie that total 15 year-round flavors and get fancy at this time of year with selections like peppermint chocolate.

La Confection

213 SW 25th St., Suite A laconfectionokc.com | 405-212-2727 The great thing about this Capitol Hill neighborhood boutique bakery is that you never know what is going to be on the menu until you walk in the store or check social media. You can find everything from toasted marshmallow macarons to cherry pistachio cookies. Last year, it offered six chocolate chip cookies with a ceramic plate and milk bottle for Santa for $15.

Available in audio, ebook and print editions on Amazon and iTunes

7705 S. Walker Ave. sunshinebakingco.com | 405-673-7775 The new bakery on the south side of Oklahoma City comes from the creative mind of Savannah Tillman, whose treats you’ve enjoyed for years when she was the head baker at Pie Junkie. Sunshine Baking goes beyond pie with signature savory and sweet-stuffed croissants and ooeygooey cookies. Its signature cookie very well might be the peanut butter cup that has a thumbprint of salted caramel.

Thank You patrons for your support of 25 years!

GREAT GIFT IDEA!

The story of an Oklahoma native’s technique for conquering $250,000 in student loan debt using borrowed money and real estate in OKC.

Sunshine Baking Company

I’m proud to introduce my new website! Login to see my holiday special offer. www.gregburns-fineart.com

Join us for lunch or dinner at our new location 412 South Meridian Ave. | OKC | (405) 948-7373 FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK FOR SPECIALS AND EXCLUSIVE OFFERS A FREE SODA W/ THIS AD Dec 4th- 17th EXPIRES: 12/17/19

10% off Buffet Purchase W/ THIS AD Dec 18th- 31st EXPIRES: 12/31/19

or visit our north location at 4401 W Memorial | OKC (405)286-2865

M-F 7am-6:30pm • Sat 9:30am-4pm 2310 N Western 524-0887 O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

Buy This!

VIN TAGE , R E T RO A ND NE A R LY NE W CLO T HING

Bad Granny’s Bazaar has you covered this holiday season, whether you’re shopping for that one-of-a-kind gift, dirty santa or need to pick a little something up for yourself, check out Bad Granny’s today, located in the heart of 16th Street Plaza District.

Bad Granny’s Bazaar 1759 N W 16th St. facebook.com/badgrannysbazaar 405-528-4585

FIRS T FR IDAY GA LLERY WA LK DECEMBER 6

Visit the Paseo Arts District this Friday, December 6 for the First Friday Gallery Walk from 6-9p.m. Strolling Santa will be there from 6-8p.m. and caroling from Harding Fine Arts Academy from 6-7:30p.m. Paseo Arts District features local and national art, great food, art classes and plenty of unique shopping!

The Paseo Arts District From N W 30th and N. Dewey Ave. to N W 28th and N. Walker Ave. on Paseo thepaseo.org

GR EG BUR NS FINE A R T

Visit my website gregburns-fineart.com to find that extraordinary gift. I have one-of-a-kind original paintings, high-quality giclees and reproductions. There is a special holiday offer. You can contact me through the website with any questions.

Greg Burns Fine Art gregburns-fineart.com

HOLLY JOLLY SHOP S

COOK IE GIF T BAGS

We make them, you give them! We also have party trays, cookie trays, party subs, breads and pastries for all to enjoy at your next gathering.

Holly Jolly Shops at the Bricktown Ballpark is a two day event, December 7 from noon-7p.m. and December 8 from noon-5:30p.m. Free entry, the pop-up shops feature some amazing retailers, food and fun - located in the concourse of the Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark. Come enjoy holiday shopping in a festive atmosphere! Hot, fresh Kettle Corn, ornament making for kids, facepainting and a visit from Elsa, The Grinch, Buddy the Elf and Santa Claus!

Holly Jolly Shops 2 S. Mickey Mantle Drive inside the Bricktown Ballpark Concourse downtownindecember.com/holly-jolly-shops

Someplace Else Deli 2310 N. Western Ave. 405-524-0887

C.C. BE A NIE S, SCA RV E S A ND MOR E

Want to bring a gift to Dirty Santa that will be stolen ‘til it’s frozen? Shop our wide selection of C.C. beanies, scarves, gloves, earmuffs and even dog sweaters, all in a variety of colors, and starting at only $12!

Lush Fashion Lounge 14101 N. May Ave., Suite 114 lushfashionlounge.com | 405-936-0680

25 % OFF T HROUGH 12 / 31/19

Did you know that 8 out of 10 women are wearing the wrong size bra? Come in today for a personal fitting to get undergarments that don’t poke, bulge, pinch or squeeze you in the wrong way! Specializing in sizes 30D through 54N. Enjoy 25% off your entire purchase no through December 31, 2019!

Women’s Health Boutique 12062 N. May Ave. Shoppes at Northpark 405-936-0030

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

THE FICTION ISSUE

The Pink Elephant by Daniel Scott Bokemper

ith a final heave, Skye let go of the covered mass he dragged from the hood of his black sedan and onto its roof. He rolled off the back windshield and onto the pavement. His head rested for a few seconds on a Minnesota license plate two years expired. Several pained gasps escaped him before he pulled himself up onto the sedan’s trunk. It lowered with a drawn-out creak as he sat on it. The ordeal was the lone source of commotion in an otherwise undisturbed motel parking lot. It was too early for the sun to rise. In its place were bands of deep purple and burgeoning orange. Between the two was a thin line of pink that seemed to smile. A sharp gasp to his right pulled him back from the horizon. “This is ridiculous.” Their mouth covered by both hands, Terran spoke with a tremble between the thin spaces of their fingers. They wore an oversized hoodie that draped over their forehead. “What? Why?” Skye asked. He stood up, and the sedan’s ongoing creak was punctuated by a rusty squeal. The car seemed to suddenly shrink in his presence. He had the build of a professional wrestler from the seventies, the barrel-chested kind that would place children on each of their shoulders when taking photos with families. “That thing is about to cave in the roof of your car. What is this even? Is that …” Terran came closer to the sedan. “a trunk?” “The beater’s had one the entire time, Ter,” Skye said. Terran dropped their hands. They pointed a finger that barely came past the cuff of their hoodie toward the covered mass. Skye followed the point’s direction. Between the purple and orange bands of the horizon was a fluorescent pink tube. Skye chuckled as he pulled back the plastic, barbeque-stained tablecloth. Lying on its side atop the sedan’s roof was an elephant statue. The pink paint job was interrupted by tiny blotches of yellow, red and green. The trunk was raised and its mouth was open as if sounding a perpetual trumpet. “She’s gonna love it for sure,” Skye boasted. “You’ve said that about everything. Plus, it’s going to roll off immediately,” Terran observed as they came closer, “if it doesn’t crush us first.” “You act like I don’t come prepared.” Skye popped open the sedan’s trunk with a light punch, and it blasted a metallic scream, cutting short any retort from Terran as it forced them to recoil. Both trunks seemed to shout simultaneously. Skye dug through a pile of boxes, candy and stuffed animals before producing three bungee cords. They were stiff in his hand with only the faintest hint of elasticity, like dried snakeskin. “See?” He gloated, running one hook through an already-cracked back window and securing it on the sedan’s shredded ceiling. “Could you lend a hand with the other side? Someone might have an eye out for this thing.” “You didn’t buy it?” Terran’s voice flared with another pulse of concern. “I mean, it was just on a sidewalk in front of a pizza joint. I would’ve asked if I was certain it was theirs. Also, let’s be real. I couldn’t have been the first one with this idea.” The two left with haste. The sedan produced a chorus of groans as Skye pulled it out of the parking lot. Clouds began to form on the horizon.

Skye and Terran were forced onto back roads after a close call with an onramp. The sedan was already questionable at best on highways. With the new load teetering on its roof, any meaningful speed was impossible. Every squeal the elephant made pierced their ears. The hooks of the bun-

gee cords tore the cabin’s ceiling. Skye strained to readjust them. This routine found him swapping his mending and driving hand constantly. A new shred of fabric dangled from the ceiling with each exchange. He soothed every violent screech of the elephant and sedan with a “No worries.” Such a remedy never soothed Terran. The conversations between the two sputtered out to only the sparsest exchanges. Terran receded deeper into their hood and leaned their head against the passenger window. Spurred by another near-cataclysmic bump, the plush arm of a giant koala punched Terran from the backseat. Pressing the bear back forced them to glimpse into the backseat. The seats themselves were permanently folded over, eliminating any barrier to the trunk. Stuffing the excess space were gifts of every kind: jars of salsa, a pug calendar, an out-of-season tin of kettle corn, candles named after Jack London stories, pounds upon pounds of candy, and of course, the koala. Terran had become familiar with the process with the first hours of their road trip. First came the spontaneous gift, then the compulsion for something new. Any hope of it subsiding was dashed with the elephant, which produced another harsh trumpet as Skye swerved to avoid a pothole. Terran winced and faced forward again. The journey’s end was their only solace. Fortunately, and as far as Terran knew, there were no flea markets between here and Davis. “We’ll need a bit of gas,” Skye said as he pulled aside into a station with a single pump. The stop was the barely breathing skeleton of a once prosperous Conoco. A pang of fear shot through Terran. This was the kind of place, they predicted, that carried things like airbrushed T-shirts and fairy statues. Likewise, they could tell the wave of comfort the elephant brought to Skye was subsiding. His smirk had diminished. Worry plagued his darting eyes. “I’ll get this one,” Terran said, halfway out of the sedan before Skye put it in park. They scanned the front of the station for any signs of what must have been sold inside. The bulk of the windows were blotted out by ads for cheap beer and scratch-offs. Terran carefully cracked the entrance, shooting a backward glance at Skye to ensure he wasn’t trying to see what was inside. Between fidgeting with the ancient pump and coaxing the fuel cap off of the sedan, he never made an effort to do so. Terran could see the despondence creep over Skye. The elephant’s face fully protruded from the mangled tablecloth. Skye met its smile with an empty stare. The clouds grew darker as they continued to form overhead. Near the register, Terran exchanged glances with a fairy fountain pieced together with failed porcelain projects. “$60.00 OBO” read a sticker on the face of a cherub masquerading as a pixie. They purchased the fuel without asking the half-awake cashier what the better offer entailed. Exiting, Terran saw a motorcycle parked behind the sedan. Skye was speaking with its owner. He was short, boulder-shaped, and clad in leather. Next to Skye, he looked like a gremlin making small talk with a drowsy giant. His gestures showed signs of the systemic abuse of gas station caffeine pills. A few murmurs gave way to a gruff explosion from the man. “You lifted this yourself?! You’re a hoss and a half, son!” Terran could see the biker’s last word unease Skye as he tried to avoid facing the man. “It was nothing,” Skye muttered, anxiety piercing his voice. He tried to focus on the pump’s sluggish progress. “You don’t gotta be soft. There’s no hiding what your kind of muscle can do. Rippin’ and tearin’. Taking what we want. That’s the responsibility of men like us.” Continued on page 18

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

THE FICTION ISSUE

Continued from page 17 The biker laughed and slapped Skye’s shoulder. He grew stiff the moment the man’s palm struck him. “Leave us alone,” Terran interjected from the opposite side of the elephant. Taken aback, the biker surveyed Terran and removed his hand from Skye. The rumble of thunder permeated the ensuing silence. The nozzle of the gas pump clicked. “Look,” the biker started as Skye rushed to remove the nozzle. “What a couple of freaks are doin’ with a beauty like this isn’t my concern. But I am in the market for a piece of it.” He rubbed the elephant’s trunk with the hand that previously held Skye. “It’s not for you,” Skye said with a fragile growl. “Oh? I reckon it’s really yours to give. In fact, I’d bet a slice of pizza on it.” Terran and Skye exchanged worried glances. “That’s what I thought,” the biker continued with a sneer. “Now, I’m simple. Maybe a tad rough, but simple. So, I’m gonna knock off this one’s trunk, and then we’re gonna part ways. None of this will ever have to make its way back to the metro. Any questions?” “Why the trunk?” Terran asked in lieu of Skye who was struggling to remove himself, his ability to speak hindered by nerves. “There’s a number of uses. It’ll look good in a trophy room, maybe on a mantle, or even a lawn ornament if you’re the creative type. Some folks even believe the trunk of fake elephants,” he licked his cracking lips, “can make for a mighty fine aphrodisiac.” Skye shut down in an instant. First came a shake. Then, his fists clenched. Sweat began to pour from him profusely. He hurried into the sedan. “I know you’ve got places to be, you bein’ on the run. I’m an outlaw, too after all. It’ll only take me a few minutes.” The biker assured neither of them as he went to his motorcycle and began digging through a saddlebag. Skye started the engine. Terran scrambled into the passenger seat, the sedan already pulling out before they could shut their door. When they finally did so, the biker filled the reflection of the rearview mirror. Straddling his chopper, he had a small mallet in hand. Skye began bawling the moment he pulled onto the road. The elephant clanged against the roof while the other gifts clattered in kind. The roaring engine of the biker piled atop the cacophony. Terran placed a hand on the steering wheel before Skye’s grip completely slipped. Through the driver’s-side window, Terran’s eyes met the biker now neck and neck with the sedan. He waved with the hand holding the mallet before taking a swing at the elephant. He caught the center bungee cord, snapping it half to the sound of another trumpet from the elephant. Skye dug his face into his hands. Terran tightened their grip and steadied their direction. They saw the biker raise the mallet for another swing. Suddenly, the motorcycle’s roar dissipated. The biker missed his second strike and wobbled. He drifted out of sight from the window and back into the rearview mirror. The biker grew smaller until he was a speck in the road and, after that, nothing. Terran nudged Skye. He wiped his eyes and reaffirmed his grasp of the steering wheel. His tears continued. Terran sunk back into their seat. “I guess he forgot to fill up,” Terran remarked over the sound of the rattling elephant, the noise exponentially louder than it was minutes ago. Skye didn’t respond. It began to rain.

Between the sounds of the collapsing sedan and the downpour, Terran’s shout was suppressed to a whisper. “I think we missed Davis, Skye.” The elephant ground against the roof and dangled part of itself over the back windshield. It leaned further with a whine as Skye ascended a road as unidentifiable as the mountain he was lost within. Every sign they passed was rusted and otherwise unreadable from overgrowth. “I really don’t think this is where we need to be, bud,” Terran pleaded

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

once more, to no avail. Skye accelerated as the incline he drove on grew steeper. Seconds later, a snap rang throughout the sedan, signaling the demise of another bungee cord. The elephant slipped, secured only by a thread. Skye ignored it and drove harder. “Skye, we need to stop!” Terran screamed and reached for the wheel. The sedan shot over the road’s crest and began to spin. It hurled its rear end where the bend of the road met an unguarded cliff. The weight of the elephant, compounded by its momentum, snapped the surviving bungee cord. The snap rang like a command the sedan obeyed on instinct as it came to a halt. Skye and Terran found themselves staring out the back windshield. Skye braced himself, and Terran pulled the emergency brake. The action brought the elephant upright. It drifted slowly down the back of the sedan. The movement released a long and clear trumpet eerily close to the real thing. It began to fall off the back but paused for a moment, its front legs suspended precariously on the very back of the sedan. The elephant returned Skye and Terran’s stares. The two failed to breathe, locked by its gaze. Finally, it cascaded backward. The tip of its trunk caught the sedan’s and flung it open. Coerced by the elephant, the rest of the gifts were pulled from the backseat in a vortex of rain and wind. They formed a parade that marched down the side of the cliff. Skye pounced in pursuit, clambering through the open trunk. Terran darted after him, their hood flying backward. They caught Skye by his arm before he could lunge over the cliff. They both lingered over the edge a few feet from plummeting and pressed against the sedan’s bumper. They both took a breath then peered over. No sign of the elephant or any of the gifts remained. The forest below was unflinching in the maw of the Arbuckles. Skye fell to his knees. Terran shut the trunk behind them and sat next to him. Minutes passed, and the two were buffeted by rain. Finally, Skye spoke. “I’m scared, Terran. What are we going to do?” “We’ll …” Terran let Skye’s question resonate and then restarted. “You’ll do what you came here for.” “What’s my mom going to think?” “I don’t know. None of that stuff was going to change it. You know that, right?” “Even the pink elephant?” “Especially the pink elephant.” Skye shivered. Terran removed their hoodie and placed it around his shoulders. It was several sizes too small, barely covering his upper arms, yet his shaking subsided. The downpour shrank to a drizzle. The clouds thinned slightly, and the overcast sky lightened a shade. Skye nodded at Terran. The two got up and walked back to the sedan, trails of mud following behind them. “Do you think those folks at the pizza joint are very upset?” Skye asked as he carefully drove from the cliff and onto the road. “Oh yeah!” Terran laughed. “But I think if they knew you, a part of them might understand.” They drove down the mountain. The sedan was quieter. No gifts jostled in the back seat. On its roof where the elephant laid, there was hardly a dent.

The Fiction Issue

Obligatory Apologies of the Nonsensical Kind by Elizabeth Noel

EXPERIENCE FIRST FRIDAY GALLERY WALK Friday, Dec. 6, 2019 • 6-9pm

Strolling Santa • 6-8pm ARTS DISTRICT Mobile Vendor: Mekong Spice Live Music: Harding Fine Arts Academy Carolers • 6-7:30pm

In the Paseo Art Space at 3022 Paseo Deck the Walls 4X4 Art Show & Auction 6-8pm SmallArt Show continues through December 21

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t know if fight or flight should be my response. I’m sorry Arizona fits my taste,

Local and national art, great food, art classes and plenty of shopping!

instead of Daniel, which others prefer. I’m sorry for acknowledging you when others drew shades

across their face. I’m sorry for the compliment when an insult was warranted. I’m sorry for being

prompt, but that’s how I was raised. I’m sorry for going right when the world goes left. I’m sorry for

405.525.2688 • thepaseo.org

#FirstFridayPaseo

beating the drum too hard. Or not hard enough. Or, dare I say, somewhere in between. That was

an accident. I’m sorry black is the only shade I know. I’m sorry my coco isn’t cream. I’m sorry my

DONATION =GOODx2

kinks aren’t straight. I’m sorry the snow shatters. I’m sorry I can’t go. I’m sorry sharp isn’t sharp. I’m sorry I don’t agree. I’m sorry the ocean’s a vapor. I’m sorry for breathing and

Support public radio AND activate a gift to the

REGIONAL FOOD BANK OF OKLAHOMA courtesy of the law firm of Phillips Murrah.

Franz’ Cure by Jeremy Lowe

Little count Drac Would lay on his back Counting the minutes away

He hides from the sun And hardly has fun Each day a bigger bore

The sun had to set Or he could forget About going out to play

But then came a man With a cream and a plan That changed Drac’s life so much

For a vampire’s skin However long it had been Would violently burst aflame

It was called sunscreen Such a magical thing It blocked the sun’s deadly touch

So until twilight he stays Till the sun’s gone away The next night he’ll do the same

Now Drac rubs it on Runs out on the lawn No longer scared of the sunny sky

This has gone on For far, far too long Some 300 years and more

He can play in the light And sleep every night Just like any other guy

Christ the King

Catholic Church

8005 Dorset Dr., OKC (405) 842-1481 www.ckokc.org

Christmas Masses Tuesday, Dec. 24 4:30pm, 7:30pm, Midnight Wednesday, Dec. 25 10:00am New Year’s Masses Tuesday, Dec. 31: 5:00pm Wednesday, Jan. 1: 10:00am O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

Oklahoma Tribes Deliver

STATEWIDE GROWTH ALL OVER OKLAHOMA, TRIBAL INVESTMENTS ARE CREATING JOBS, IMPROVING LIVES AND STRENGTHENING COMMUNITIES.

Oklahoma City “Here in Oklahoma City, we’ve grown to depend on the philanthropic generosity of the tribal nations.

And time and again, they have answered that call.” DAVID HOLT Mayor

Anadarko “It makes a huge difference working with tribal governments because we’re talking millions of dollars in infrastructure investment. We’re not talking about $10,000 that helped us do one small project in one neighborhood, we’re talking about community-wide infrastructure improvements.” KYLE EASTWOOD Mayor

Ada “I think what people don’t realize is that the tribes invest. If you don’t live in rural Oklahoma, you don’t really understand. They invest in roads. They invest in our schools. They invest in health care. They invest in water planning. They invest in philanthropic endeavors.” SUSAN PADDACK Executive Director, The Oka' Institute

UnitedForOklahoma.com

20 D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG 1 AZET TE .COM UNI_19-CNUO-069_Gazette.indd

11/14/19 4:56 PM

Wyandotte Canton “50 jobs isn’t that many jobs in a big metro area, but in our community when you have 600 people, it’s very signiﬁcant. It’s a boost that you

“They provide legitimate jobs for a ton of people. The casino I work at has 700 employees.” BRAD ABELL

can’t replace.”

TROY EVERETT Vice President, Canton Chamber of Commerce

Pryor “We’re able to attract a better teaching force than we would be able to without some of those resources. So it’s all interwoven, and people don’t understand how big of a component that the tribe plays in our successes.” DON RALEIGH Superintendent, Pryor Public Schools

Tulsa

Durant “I’ve had many acquaintances that have grown up in Durant, moved away to go to college, never had the intention of moving back, and have. They are ﬁnding these fulﬁlling jobs that they didn’t think would be in

“I see the tribes investing in Oklahoma, in health care, in roads, in education, in mental health, in every way to build a better place for all our children to live.” ALISON ANTHONY President and CEO, Tulsa Area United Way

Durant, and a lot of those jobs have been provided by the tribe.” STEPHANIE GARNER Director, Durant Main Street

Committed to mutual respect, shared strength and productive partnerships that benefit every Oklahoman.

UNI_19-CNUO-069_Gazette.indd 2

21 11/14/19 4:56 PM

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

The Fiction Issue

The Book Collector

by Betsy Randolph

lacked-out windows stared at me while I hiked through the dead jungle, fists clenched. Dried grass slapped at my knees. Snaking its way into my shoes, the red Oklahoma dust caked between my bare toes. I cursed aloud for having to be there. When I reached the porch, I brushed grass from my slacks. A peculiar smell permeated the air. Chemical. Inside the house, music blared. My tapping at the door produced no reply. Only a striped cat noticed my arrival. He glanced at me and then returned to sunning. He stared at the dog that cowered under the elm he was chained to. My knuckles rapped on the door again, harder this time. I beat on the door until my hand hurt and the music stopped. When the door swung open, a man of about 45 frowned at me. White foam caked the corners of his mouth. His clothes looked as if he had slept in them for years. And the smell was like something died and percolated in the heat. I held my breath. “Mister Thorn?” His near toothless reply was somewhat expected. “We don’t need nothing you’re selling.” He started to slam the door shut, but I planted my shoe on the worn carpet. His protest included a knife. He held the blade toward me. “Get out!” His response came up short with a snub-nose .38 caliber Smith & Wesson in his face. “Get back, and drop the knife.” He took a couple of steps backward and dropped the Kershaw but opened his mouth. The pistol frame crashed into his greasy face. Whatever he was going to say was forgotten with the sight of bright, red blood. His blood. “You broke my nose!” The barrel of my revolver tapped his Adam’s apple, producing a garbled cough. He gagged, the cough caught in his throat. I pushed him farther inside the house and kicked the door closed behind me. I pointed at his ugly couch. “Sit.” He obeyed. He held his nose while blood spilled between his fingers. I glanced around the room. “Where are the books you checked out from the library?” When he didn’t answer, I pulled the hammer back on the revolver. “Are you for real?” The whites of his eyes appeared yellow. Empty Corona bottles lined the shelf above the couch. His idea of decorations, I assumed. One exploded when I squeezed the trigger. Shards of clear glass drifted beautifully overhead. Sparkling like diamonds, his decor settled on the shag carpet. I looked back at him and smiled. “Where are my books?” He glanced toward the kitchen. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you.” But he didn’t continue. “Let’s not drag this out, shall we?” My finger rested on the trigger. He nodded his head, his eyes bouncing from side to side. “Which books you looking for?” “You know which ones.” I stepped closer. “Don’t make me ask again.”

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

I aimed between his shit-brown eyes. They widened. “Oh! You mean the chemistry books?” “I knew you knew.” “The kitchen. They’re in the kitchen.” His pockmarked arm pointed across the room. With the gun, I motioned for him to get up. “Lead the way.” He slowly got to his feet, shuffling stocking-covered feet toward the kitchen, his sweatpants threatening to fall off his skeleton frame. A ’70s model swinging door separated us from the kitchen. He pushed the door open and rushed inside, slamming the door back toward me. The barrel of my gun pushed the door open. He stood at the sink. He grabbed a butcher knife and slung it my direction. A lead slug crossed mid-air with his knife. My round hit him just above his left eye, and he crumpled to the floor. His blade hit and glanced off my right shoulder. I stalked to the counter and grabbed fists full of paper towels. “Figures you’d buy the cheapest brand.” Needing something more substantial, I located two potholders, a semi-clean-looking dishrag and a plastic apron string, and my bleeding was staunched. The books were open on the countertop. He was cooking. Looked like methamphetamine. I grabbed the three books and shoved them into a plastic baggy I pulled from my purse. As I made my way back through the maze of dirty clothes and trash, I listened for anyone else who might be in the house. Then I cracked the front door open and slipped out. Traffic was insane. At a traffic light, the woman in front of me sat, her head lolled forward. Green, yellow, red, green. Should I blare my horn? I didn’t want to draw undue attention to myself. The lights cycled again, and still we sat. She was either asleep or looking at her phone. One of us needed a clean shirt. I jammed on my horn. Her head came up like I’d shot her, and her ancient truck lurched forward. On Classen, I took a left and then turned right on 30th. Another right and an immediate left and I parked under the carport of the house my mother willed to me. The red sandstone cottage needed updating. Smudged white sage lingered in the air when I pushed the front door open. I twisted the deadbolt and turned on a few lamps. Only then did I pull the books out of the bag for inspection. They would need to be cleaned and repaired. The card in the front pocket was missing in one of the books. I opened each book one by one, sticking my nose close to the gutter where the spine held each page. The faintest remnant of old library smell remained. In a crystal goblet, I poured dry, red wine. Spinning the stemware, I noted the color clarity and sniffed before sipping. The Merlot greeted me with a tobacco, smoky flavor and departed my palate with a black cherry finale. It was only Wednesday, but I felt like celebrating. Three overdue lovies were back in my possession. The idiocy of my crimes might one day haunt me. But not today. Today, overdue books were successfully collected—with penalties. Others might criticize, saying my best intentions just went astray. But I would decline to comment, knowing only fools defend their actions. Two more days of “collecting” and then I would take a vacation. Five glorious days of reading, reading, and reading some more—a perfect getaway for a librarian.

Ambidorksterous

by Jeremy “Will Wizard” Willia ms My friends, there is a war for your fandom, For we all have something we deli ght in. They say you have to choose a side In the ongoing battle of entertai nment. They say that you are either An Imperialist or a Trekkie, You can only indulge in Loony Tune antics or Disney moralit y plays. You can read the book Or Watch the movie adaptation, Yet you can NEVER enjoy both. On one hand you have One franchise filled with creative Characters and awesome adventu res But on the Other hand you hav e A universe with equally as many Amazing adventures and heroes. Between these hands lies my hea rt Pumping with nerdcore love of both Because I am ambidorksterous. Ya see I can easily Fight in the Street, But my true Kombat will always be Mortal. From the first days I could read I cut my teeth along with the X-Me n As they first battled Dark Phoe nix, But in later years I have learned the Price of vengeance on Gotham stre ets. Since I could walk I have learned to Channel the Force beside Luke Skywalker, But after I spent time in the Aca demy, I would gladly die in red-shirted service Of either Captains Picard or Sisk o.

I REFUSE to CHOOSE! To that end: I am Legion, I am Exile, I am Lantern Corp, I am Cosmic Herald, I am Starfleet, I am Sith Lord, I am Ninja, I am Pirate, I am a Street Fighter, I am a Mortal Kombatant, I am a Titan, I am an Avenger, I am Justice League, I am an X-Man, I’m a Journalist, I am of the Endless. I’m the Doctor, I am a Jedi, like my father before me, I Am Batman! I love it all, Read it all, Watch it all, AM IT ALL.

I am ambidorksterous So I love it all! Manga AND comic books, Sophisticated sitcoms AND professi onal wrestling, Classic literature AND video gam es, Sci-fi westerns AND fantasy epic s. I have learned several phrases in Klingon, Wookiee Kashyyyk, and Elvish Sindarin In equal measures alongside my Shiny Mandarin cursing. There is too much awesome! So many powerful heroes, villains, and stories... How can I choose between them?!

Your Hand

I mean, if you put a gun to my hea d, I MIGHT just admit that I love one side JUST a little bit more... But good luck with getting me in that state, Because my nunchaku and flint lock pistols Work well together in close quarter s.

The only problem in being ambidor ksterous Is that my wallet screams in ago ny Every time I see something cool. Because like my inner Pokémaniac, I gotta collect ’em all. So wish me Godspeed And a winning lottery ticket, Because the comic shop is having a sale!

Streetlight Buoys

by Ryan Schwimmer

I went for a run before the sun came up this morning, and I saw a shadow chasing my shadow. That is, I saw a shadow created by a light I had just passed being chased by a shadow created by a light in front of me, and as the cold air entered my lungs at a rate and rhythm that was kind of embarrassing considering I was only five minutes into my run, I wondered why Back Shadow was trying so hard to catch up to Front Shadow. Did Front Shadow forget his keys? But as soon as I had the thought, the Shadows merged, and I went back to my workout playlist. As “Everlong” became “Long Live the Chief” became “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” I had a thought that I am the only person in the world whose workout playlist looks like this (anything to keep my mind off the running itself), but that thought soon turned into wondering why Back Shadow was chasing after Front Shadow this time. Did Back Shadow need to confess his love for Front Shadow? As “Separate Ways” became “Humble,” my mind went to making my steps match with the beat and breathing in for four steps, breathing out for four steps. I read somewhere that four steps was the right length for breaths when you run, and apparently the Shadows knew this fact, as they matched my pace. Maybe Front Shadow is running away from his problems and Back Shadow won’t let him and the merging is forgiveness. As “Intergalactic” became “Forgot About Dre” I thought about the time I listened to an audiobook on a run. It was fine, but I was slower than normal, and normal is pretty slow to begin with, so I haven’t done that again. Front Shadow and Back Shadow never slow down or speed up; they just naturally come together, and it makes me think that Front Shadow is who Back Shadow wants to be, and Front Shadow is understanding and welcoming. As “Power” became “Welcome to the Jungle,” I focused on my stride because I read somewhere that the key to getting faster is lengthening your stride, not trying to go faster, but my breaths are down to about two steps, and when I think about quitting early, I see that Back Shadow is trying to catch up to Front Shadow again, and I’ve figured out that I am Back Shadow and I keep pushing Front Shadow ahead, forever trying to catch up to where I need to be.

by M.S. Patton

. seats with 20 seats in each row A movie theater has 25 rows of that guy just dodged the bulIf a movie is 121 minutes long and r hands on my chest and that lets of 20 bad guys why are you and your hands are still on my guy is gonna die oh he survived e is doing right now are Kevin’s chest I wonder what my roommat t leaning in the white guy is abou hands on her chest why are you en from the British villain and to save the racially ambiguous wom he got shot in the chest and you dropped the popcorn and sure

only needed 10 stitches and this theater is full yeah you guy white dude you save that ambiguous 5’10” all-leg girl

next-door librarian and your hand is still on my chest why can’t the 498 other people in this theater see this and oh the British villain has a bomb wow that’s great. The bomb that was big enough to level the entire city is sud-

denly not when in the river sure that makes sense, and your hand is still on my chest.

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

Homeless Alliance Supply Drive in the Paseo Arts District November 1- December 31

Order from our Amazon wish list at thepaseo.org/support

Items requested for donation: Hats Gloves Socks Hand Warmers Drop off sites: The Paseo Plunge Studio Six Betsey King. A Shoe Boutique Paseo Arts Association Little Market CMG Art Gallery

holidayshopping m a d e e a sy i n â&#x20AC;¦ 1 5

STUDIO SIX 3021 paseo | 405.528.0174

PRAIRIE ARTS COLLECTIVE 3018 paseo | 405.436.5439

BETSY KING. A SHOE BOUTIQUE 3001 paseo | 405.601.7776

4 EDEN CLOTHING & ACCESSORIES 5

8 SU CASA

2924 paseo | 405.642.9494

3000 paseo | 405.900.6613

7 PASEO ARTS ASSOCIATION

3022 paseo | 405.525.2688

3 016 paseo | 405.601.9075

9 BRAYER & BRUSH

3012 n lee #a | 405.204.1120

10 THE CREATIVE STUDIO 11 REMODERNOK

3014 paseo | 405.205.7240

12 LITTLE MARKET

3004 paseo

13 LITERATI PRESS

3010 paseo | 405.882.7032

14 84 HOSPITALITY

3000 paseo | 405.900.6613

15 CMG ART GALLERY

17 8 6

1104 nw 30th st | 405.256.3465 3005 #a paseo | 405.525.2161

17 SCRATCH KITCHEN & COCKTAILS 18

2928 b paseo | 405.314.8273

16 IN YOUR EYE STUDIO & GALLERY

605 nw 28th suite b | 405.602.2302

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

OK SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK 2920 paseo | 405.235.3700

JRB ART AT THE ELMS 2810 n walker | 405.528.6336

6 GUN IZAKAYA

CALENDAR are events recommended by Oklahoma Gazette editorial staff members For full calendar listings, go to okgazette.com.

BOOKS Dawn Fritz Hopkins book signing the author will sign copies of her book Parthur: The Story of an Orphaned Bobcat, 6-7:30 p.m. Dec. 7. Best of Books, 1313 E. Danforth Road, Edmond, 405-340-9202, bestofbooksok.com. SAT Mid-Oklahoma Writers a meetup for local writers featuring guest speakers and literary discussions, 7-9 p.m. the second Tuesday of the month. Eastside Church of Christ, 916 S. Douglas Blvd., 405-732-0393. TUE

FILM VHS and Chill: Blockbusted Video riff along with comedians and film fans at this monthly movie screening where audience participation is encouraged, 7-9 p.m. first Wednesday of every month. The Paramount Room, 701 W. Sheridan Ave., 405-8873327, theparamountroom.com. WED

HAPPENINGS Cowboy Christmas Parade see longhorns, antique cars, tractors, horses, and Cowboy Santa, 10 a.m. Dec. 7. Stockyards City, 1307 S. Agnew Ave., 405-235-7267, stockyardscity.org. SAT Deck the Halls enjoy seasonal crafts, holiday songs and shopping, 10:30 a.m.-noon Dec. 7. Oklahoma History Center, 800 Nazih Zuhdi Drive, 405-521-2491, okhistory.org. SAT Devon Ice Rink ice stake in the Myriad Botanical Gardens and enjoy seasonal food and beverages., Mondays-Sundays. through Feb. 2. Devon Ice Rink,

100 N. Robinson Ave., 405-708-6499, downtownindecember.com/devon-ice-rink. FRI-SUN Drag Me to Bingo bingo night hosted by Teabaggin Betsy, 9 p.m. Tuesdays. Partners, 2805 NW 36th St., 405-942-2199, partners4club.com. TUE Filmrow Trivia Night test your cinematic knowledge at this monthly competition hosted by VHS and Chill, 7 p.m. the second Tuesday of every month. The Paramount Room, 701 W. Sheridan Ave., 405-8873327, theparamountroom.com. TUE Holiday Lights Spectacular a drive-thru light display more than 1.5 miles long, featuring an 118-foot Christmas tree lit by more than 9,000 LED bulbs, 6-11 p.m. through Dec. 25. Joe B. Barnes Regional Park, 8700 E. Reno Ave., 405-739-1293, midwestcityok.org. WED Holiday Pop-Up Shops at Midtown shop at a rotating selection of pet-friendly stores, Dec. 5-8, Dec. 12-15, Dec. 19-22. The Bleu Garten, 301 NW 10th St., 405-879-3808, bleugarten.com. FRI-SUN Illuminations: Starry Starry Night an immersive light installation inspired by Vincent Van Gogh’s famous painting, Through Jan. 1, 2020. Myriad Botanical Gardens, 301 W. Reno Ave., 405-445-7080, myriadgardens.com. WED Mesta Park Holiday Home Tour tour six homes and enjoy refreshments and a visit from Santa Claus, Dec. 7-8. Mesta Park neighborhood, NW 23rd Street and N. Walker Avenue. SAT-SUN PAMBE Ghana Global Market shop for handmade and artisanal crafts, clothing and other items at this holiday pop-up shop benefitting bilingual education, Through Dec. 24. 50 Penn Place Gallery, 1900 Northwest Expressway, 405-848-5567, 50pennplacegallery.com. TUE Repeal Day Celebration celebrate the 86th anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition with drink specials and dancing to vintage 1920s music; eraappropriate costumes encouraged, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Whiskey Cake Kitchen & Bar, 1845 Northwest Ex-

The Price Is Right Live See Plinko, Cliff Hangers, The Big Wheel — all the favorite games you remember watching in the waiting room at the tire place or when your grandparents were babysitting you — played live for fabulous prizes. Or if you want a chance to play yourself, arrive three hours before show time for registration. (No purchase necessary for eligibility. You don’t even have to spay or neuter your pets, but you probably should anyway; there’s no telling what they’re up to). Come on down 7:30 p.m. Thursday at Chesapeake Energy Arena, 100 W. Reno Ave. Tickets are $29.75 to $59.75. Call 405-602-8700 or visit chesapeakearena.com. THURSDAY Photo FremantleMedia / provided pressway, 405-582-2253, whiskeycakeokc.com. THU Winter Blooms and Color learn how to add color to your garden during the colder months at this gardening lecture presented by Oklahoma County Extension Master Gardeners, 6 p.m. Dec. 11. Will Rogers Garden Center, 3400 NW 36th St., 405-943-0827, okc.gov. WED

FOOD OKC Farmers Market a year round farmers market featuring fresh produce, honey, baked goods, meat, hand made goods and more., 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Saturdays, OKC Farmers Market, 311 S. Klein Ave., 405-486-0701, okcfarmersmarket.com. SAT

YOUTH Breakfast with Santa enjoy a pancake breakfast and a photo opportunity with Kris Kringle, make crafts and play games at this holiday family event, 8:3010:30 a.m. Dec. 7. Mustang Parks & Recreation, 1201 N. Mustang Road, 405-376-3411, cityofmustang.org. SAT

Christmas With the Crawfords If your taste in holiday entertainment skews more John Waters than Frank Capra, drop in on Joan “Mommie Dearest” Crawford (played by Kitty Bob Aimes) and her poor, poor family in this play created by Richard Winchester and written by Mark Sargent. Cringe in delight as Crawford attempts to revive her waning career with a live Christmas Eve radio interview, only to be overshadowed by cameos from other Hollywood Golden Agers, including Judy Garland, Carmen Miranda and arch-nemesis Bette “Baby Jane” Davis. The show runs through Dec. 28 at The Boom!, 2218 NW 39th St. Tickets are $25. Call 405-601-7200 or visit theboomokc.com. THROUGH DEC. 28 Photo provided

In a Galaxy Far, Far Away Late Nite Lab make your own lightsaber, learn about spaceship physics, see planetarium and live science demonstrations and more at this sensory friendly family night out, 6-10 p.m. Dec. 6. Science Museum Oklahoma, 2020 Remington Place, 405-602-6664, sciencemuseumok.org. FRI Meet the Grinch tour Whoville, shop for plants, enjoy hot chocolate and take a photo with Dr. Seuss’ famous holiday hijacker, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 7. TLC Garden Center, 105 W. Memorial Road, 405-7510630, tlcgarden.com. SAT The Polar Express Train Ride take a fanciful round trip train ride to the North Pole with hot chocolate, cookies and Santa Claus, Through Dec. 31. Oklahoma

Railway Museum, 3400 NE Grand Blvd., 405-424-8222, oklahomarailwaymuseum.org. FRI-TUE Saturdays with Santa enjoy holiday games and crafts, storytelling, a train ride and photos with Santa and Mrs. Claus at this holiday family event, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 7. Myriad Botanical Gardens, 301 W. Reno Ave., 405-445-7080, myriadgardens.com. SAT

PERFORMING ARTS The Christmas Show a musical-theater-style production presented by the Oklahoma City Philharmonic and featuring appearances by Broadway performer Max von Essen and Santa Claus, Dec. 5-7. Civic Center Music Hall, 201 N. Walker Ave., 405-2972264, okcciviccenter.com. THU-SAT Cristela Alonzo: My Affordable Care Act the standup and TV star performs politically informed comedy, 8 p.m. Dec. 5. Tower Theatre, 425 NW 23rd St., 405-708-6937, towertheatreokc.com. THU Deck The Hall with Buddy Holly hear hits by Holly, The Big Bopper, Richie Valens, Elvis Presley and more at this swinging holiday shindig, 7-10 p.m. Dec. 7. The Auditorium at the Douglass, 600 N. High Ave., 405-652-9541, auditoriumatdouglass.com. SAT Drunk Classics: A Christmas Carol a production of the Charles Dickens holiday classic with a twist: one cast member will be randomly selected to perform under the influence, 8-10 p.m. Dec. 6. Put A Cork In It Winery, 115 E. California Ave., 405-6056656, putacorkinitwinery.com. FRI

continued on page 26

GO TO OKGAZETTE.COM FOR FULL LISTINGS! FRC REAL DEALS

WINTER FAMILY CLOTHING GREAT GIFTS FOR LESS

OILFIELD WORKWEAR- MILITARY-HUNTINGCHILDRENS BEAUTFUL JACKETS- WARM CANVAS OVERALLS-BIBS-JACKETS-KIDS TO KING SIZE

SAVE

MONEY ON QUALITY FAMILY SKI-WEAR

WE HELP FIT YOU NEIGHBOR WORKING MEN-STAY WARM FOR LESS

FOR

BA DAS S

H ol i d a y SWE ATERS •GIFTS • VINTAGE & More!

QUALITY MEN'S BIG & TALL TO 10XL MOST ITEMS BEAT INTERNET PRICES Please Read FACEBOK REVIEWS

SAM’S BEST BUYS

2409 S. AGNEW • 636-1486 • M-SAT 9-5:45

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, and take 25% off your entire purchase through 12/31/19! Specializing in sizes

30D-54N

in the Plaza 1759 NW 16th • Oklahoma City • 405-528-4585 Open Tues-Sat 12-7 • Follow Us Online!

STORE HOURS:

Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 10-2

12062 N May Ave | OKC, OK 73120 | 405-936-0030 O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

CALENDAR

List your event in than noon on Wednesday seven days before the desired

C A L E N DA R

Submissions must be received by Oklahoma Gazette no later

continued from page 25 Handel’s Messiah Canterbury Voices Eugene Goossens’ arrangement of George Frideric Handel’s famous work with more than 160 voices and a full orchestra, 7 p.m. Dec. 8. Civic Center Music Hall, 201 N. Walker Ave., 405-297-2264, okcciviccenter.com. SUN

strive to make the listings as inclusive as possible.

Hip Hop Nutcracker RACE Dance Company joins students from several local high schools to perform a modern-day take on Tchaikovsky’s classic Christmas ballet, Dec. 6-7, Dec. 6-7. OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center Theater, 7777 S. May Ave., 405-6827579, tickets.occc.edu. FRI-SAT

Submit your listings online at okgazette.com or email them to listings@okgazette.com. Sorry, but phone submissions cannot be accepted.

The Holiday Wrap-Up! an Academy of Contemporary music faculty and student showcase benefitting Positive Tomorrows, a nonprofit providing elementary school education to homeless children, 7-10 p.m. Dec. 5. ACM @ UCO, 25 S. Oklahoma Ave., 405-974-4700, acm.uco.edu. THU

publication date. Late submissions will not be included in the listings. Submissions run as space allows, although we

Jane Austen’s Christmas Cracker Erin Woods’ original play invites audience members to mingle with 18th-century author Jane Austen and some of her most beloved characters; era-appropriate costumes encouraged, Dec. 5-21. Shakespeare on Paseo, 2920 Paseo St., 405-235-3700, oklahomashakespeare.org. THU-SAT Messiah Sing-A-Long! Eddie Vadewalker conducts Handel’s Messiah and invites the audience to sing along during the famous “Hallelujah Chorus,”7:30 p.m. Dec. 10. Wickline United Methodist Church, 417 Mid-America Blvd. TUE The Nutcracker the Oklahoma Festival Ballet presents Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s classic Christmas ballet, Through Dec. 8. Elsie C. Brackett Theatre, 563 Elm Ave., Norman, 405-325-4101, theatre.ou.edu. FRI-SUN OCU’s 41st Annual Christmas Vespers a choral and orchestral celebration of contemporary and traditional sacred music featuring more than 200 voices and the Oklahoma City University Vespers Orchestra, Dec. 6-7. First Presbyterian Church OKC, 1001 NW 25th St., 405-525-6584, fpcokc.org. FRI-SAT Rebels & Royals Drag King Show hosted by former Mister USofA Damian Matrix-Gritte, this monthly show features local drag kings and special guests 10:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. first Saturday of every month. Frankie’s, 2807 NW 36th St., 405-602-2030, facebook.com/frankiesokc. SAT The Santaland Diaries working as an elf in Santa’s village is not as holly or jolly as advertised in this comedic play based on David Sedaris’ essay, Through Dec. 21. Carpenter Square Theatre, 806 W. Main St., 405-232-6500, carpentersquare.com. FRI-SAT Shane Maus: Head Talks Live the standup comic will interview anthropologist and political ecologist Sophia Rokhlin and biology professor Tom Ray, 8 p.m. Dec. 8. The Paramount Room, 701 W. Sheridan Ave., 405-887-3327, theparamountroom.com. SUN Tribute to Woody Guthrie Greg Johnson presents an annual celebration of the legendary folk singer, 7 p.m. Dec. 9. The Blue Door, 2805 N. McKinley Ave., 405-524-0738, bluedoorokc.com. MON

ACTIVE Holiday Light Ride take a bicycle tour of the light displays in Automobile Alley and Heritage Hills and hear your favorite holiday tunes, 6-9 p.m. Dec. 7, 13 and 19. Holiday Pop-Up Shops, 399 NW 10th St., 405-514-5205. SAT-THU Holiday Ugly Sweater Run run through the Luminence light display at this evening race benefitting the Edmond Rotary Club, 5-7 p.m. Dec. 7. Mitch Park, 1501 W. Covell Road, Edmond, 405-359-4630, edmondok.com/parks. SAT

Lyric’s A Christmas Carol Like the (spoiler alert) newly reformed miser Ebenezer Scrooge at the end of Charles Dickens’ classic holiday ghost story, Lyric Theatre of Oklahoma honors and keeps Christmas in our hearts each year with this production, which has become an annual tradition in OKC. Last year, returning Scrooge Dirk Lumbard told Oklahoma Gazette that he believes A Christmas Carol will still be performed “2,000 years from now.” Here’s hoping we’ve found a cure by then for whatever’s wrong with Tiny Tim. Raise your Christmas spirits through Dec. 24 at Lyric at the Plaza, 1727 NW 16th St. Tickets are $25-$73. Call 405-524-9312 or visit lyrictheatreokc.com THROUGH DEC. 24 Photo KO Rinearson / provided

Paseo Arts District’s First Friday Gallery Walk peruse art from over 80 artists with 25 participating business for a night of special themed exhibits, refreshments and a variety of entertainment opportunities, 6-10 p.m. first Friday of every month. Paseo Arts District, 3022 Paseo St., 405-525-2688, thepaseo.org. FRI Postcard Perspectives an exhibition featuring thousands of postcards created by artists from across the U.S. and 37 other countries, 7-10 p.m. Through Dec. 28. Artspace at Untitled, 1 NE Third St., 405-815-9995, 1ne3.org. FRI-SAT Red Earth Treefest an exhibition of handmade ornaments and art objects created by 18 Native American tribes from throughout Oklahoma, Dec. 5-13. OSU-OKC Campus, 900 N. Portland Ave., 405-947-4421, osuokc.edu/ home. THU-FRI Small Works IX view smaller-format works by artists Carol Beesley, Julie Marks Blackstone, George Bogart, Douglas Shaw Elder, Skip Hill, Don Holladay and more, through Dec. 21. The Depot, 200 S. Jones Ave., Norman, 405-307-9320, pasnorman.org. TUE-SAT

Until We Organize: The Struggle for the Equal Rights Amendment an exhibition of photographs chronicling Oklahoma’s battle over the ERA, through Nov. 30, 2020. Oklahoma History Center, 800 Nazih Zuhdi Drive, 405-521-2491, okhistory.org. MON-SAT

VISUAL ARTS 4x4 Auction & Art Show bid for art starting at $25 at this art sale benefiting the Paseo Arts Association, 6-8 p.m. Dec. 6. Paseo Studio Six, 3021 Paseo St., 405-528-0174, thepaseo.org. FRI Articulation work on your art or craft project with other creators at this weekly meet-up; bring your own supplies and clean up after yourself, 6:30-10 p.m. Thursdays. Little D Gallery, 3003 Paseo, 720773-1064. THU Basket-weaving Workshop learn to make a small- to medium-sized double-walled Cherokee basket at this class taught by Mary Aitson, 10-3 p.m. Dec. 7. Red Earth Art Center, 6 Santa Fe Plaza, 405427-5228, redearth.org. SAT Harold Stevenson: The Great Society a collection of 98 large-scale portraits of residents of Idabel, Oklahoma, through Dec. 29. Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art, 555 Elm Ave., Norman, 405-3253272, ou.edu/fjjma. TUE-SUN Inclusion in Art a group exhibition of promoting racial and cultural diversity in visual arts, Dec. 7-March 15. The Art Hall, 519 NW 23rd St., 405-2315700, arthallokc.com. SAT

Submissions must be received by Oklahoma Gazette no later than noon on Wednesday seven days before the desired publication date. Late submissions will not be included in the listings. Submissions run as space allows, although we strive to make the listings as inclusive as possible. Fax your listings to 528-4600 or e-mail them to listings@okgazette.com. Sorry, but phone submissions cannot be accepted.

For OKG live music

see page 29 26

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

EVENT

MUSIC

Yesterday road

Jason Boland, Cody Canada and Mike McClure return to their Red Dirt roots with The Yellow House Revisited. By Jeremy Martin

If, as the Oklahoma Tourism & Recreation Department’s Travel Promotion Division tells us, famous Stillwater musicians’ hangout The Farm is “the undisputed birthplace of Red Dirt music,” in the 1980s and early ’90s, The Yellow House is where the next generation of influential singer-songwriters gestated. “After awhile, the guy that ran The Farm left and moved off and it kind of got dilapidated and eventually bulldozed,” said Mike McClure of the influential house party/jam session that seemingly lasted from 1979 until just before The Farm burned down in 2003. “All the musicians needed another spot, and it winded up being The Yellow House.” Stragglers frontman Jason Boland, who rented The Yellow House on University Circle near the Oklahoma State University (OSU) campus, described what having a place like The Farm, where musicians of all experience levels often swapped songs around a campfire, meant to him as an aspiring songwriter in the ’90s in a Little OkieLand article from 2017. “It’s hard to really step back and think about the pre-internet world again where you had to search out music that wasn’t fed to you through the radio,” Boland said. “You sit down and listen to one time around the circle of pickers, and you realize you need to go work on your songs. You’re a kid and your writing about kid stuff and then you hear these from a deeper place and better crafted and it gets to your turn and you think, ‘OK, I got one that I’m not completely embarrassed about,’ and that’s inspiration when you are challenged that way.” Boland and McClure (former frontman for The Great Divide) will join

fellow Stillwater alum Cody Canada (former frontman for Cross Canadian Ragweed) — onstage to swap songs and stories at The Yellow House Revisited 8 p.m. Dec. 13 at Tower Theatre, 425 NW 23rd St. Outside these “fairly sporadic” shows, McClure said he can’t remember the last time he actually revisited The Yellow House. “I haven’t gone back in a hundred years,” McClure said. “It was more Jason and Cody’s hangout. They both lived there. At the time when that place started to be the place to go, The Great Divide had a record deal and I started traveling. I was gone quite a bit, but when I’d come back to town, I’d go by there and see those guys.” But Canada, who told Little OkieLand about moving into the basement of The Yellow House after pulling out nine dirty mattresses and burning them in the backyard, recalled returning to his former home with his wife Shannon. “We went to the bar, got pretty drunk, so we were fearless,” Canada said in a 2009 interview with Oklahoma State University student publication The O’Colly, “and we just walked in the door at The Yellow House.” McClure said playing onstage with Canada and Boland allows him to return to The Yellow House in a more figurative way. “The idea of the shows is just a way for us to get back together again and rehash some of those years because those are very formative years for all of us,” McClure said. “That’s just a place where we all cut our teeth songwriting and playing for people. … It’s a nice snapshot in time. It’s one of those things that can’t really be recreated, when everybody came together, in a sense. …

Playing these shows and going back over the old songs and talking about stories from that time period, that’s about as close as we can get to going back.” Though McClure, who now runs Boohatch Studio & Farm in Ada, has produced music by Boland and Canada, The Yellow House Revisited concerts are typically their main reason for getting together. “Outside of these shows, everybody’s so busy with their own getting around and playing shows,” McClure said. “Jason travels all over. So does Cody. And then I do as well. I do more work out of a studio at my house, but it really is the only time I see them, so it’s pretty special in that way, and we get a chance to hang out in a place where we’re comfortable. We’re all comfortable on the stage, especially together.” They don’t rehearse for these concerts, McClure said, laughing when he added “and it’ll show.”

The idea of the shows is just a way for us to get back together again and rehash some of those years. Mike McClure “If it looks effortless, it’s ’cause we’re putting no effort into it,” McClure said, laughing again. “But back in the day when we all started playing together, it was improv. That’s where we all learned to play lead, really. I’d have my acoustic, and then Cody would sit in with me, and when it came time for a solo, if I’m doing a song he takes solo and I played the rhythm chords. It’s the same way when we play together now. We just kind of look at the other one and intuitively know who’s about to do what, but that was there in the beginning. It wasn’t a matter of playing over and over. That was part of, I felt, the magic of that Stillwater era. Everybody was different. Jason was more of a honky-tonk type thing, and Great Divide was kind of in the middle of country and rock, and

left Jason Boland and his band The Stragglers released Hard Times Are Relative in 2018. | Photo Cameron L. Gott / provided center Mike McClure plans to release a solo album in March. | Photo Chrislyn Lawrence / provided right Cody Canada and his band The Departed released 3 in 2018. | Photo 36D Management / provided

Ragweed is a little more on the rock end, but we were all coming from a relatively same place.” McClure, who plans to release a new album in March, hopes to recreate some of that atmosphere of camaraderie at Boohatch. “My girlfriend Chrislyn [Lawrence] and I, we do songwriter workshops out of there,” McClure said. “Five to six people will come in, and we just spend the weekend going over the songwriting craft and talking about it and playing songs and sitting down and breaking off and writing in groups and writing one-on-one. And a lot of that, for me, stems from my time at The Farm. It was more of an open community as far as sharing information and just, like, minds being around like minds. It’s conducive to creativity.” In retrospect, McClure said, he realizes how special those days really were. “There was always, in the past, reaching for something we were already in the middle of,” McClure said. “Instead of enjoying it more, it was always trying to reach to that next rung, which if we’d have been paying attention, we’d have realized we were already in it a lot earlier than we thought we were.” Tickets are $30-$40. Call 405-7086937 or visit towertheatreokc.com.

The Yellow House Revisited 8 p.m. Dec. 13 Tower Theatre 425 NW 23rd St. towertheatreokc.com | 405-708-6937 $30-$40

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

MUSIC

EVENT

Jabee hosts the sixth annual Gift Raps 8:30 p.m. Dec. 12 at Ponyboy. | Photo provided

Christmas rappin’

Gift Raps, Jabee’s holiday hip-hop benefit show, returns for its sixth year. By Jeremy Martin

For households already struggling to make it month to month, the holiday season can bring more anxiety than merriment. “I remember my mom stressing out during Christmastime,” said local hip-hop artist Jabee. “A lot of people come from single-parent homes like I did, and it’s one person trying to feed and get Christmas gifts for, sometimes, three or four or more kids. That was my mom.” Gift Raps, Jabee’s annual hip-hop holiday benefit raising donations and hopefully lowering stress for those families, is 8:30 p.m. Dec. 12 at Ponyboy, 423 NW 23rd St. Admission can be paid in the form of socks, gloves, toys, coats and nonperishable food items to be donated to Skyline Urban Ministry, an organiza-

tion with the stated goal of establishing “an atmosphere of respect and empathy while providing groceries, meals, clothing, eye exams and dignity to Oklahomans struggling with resources.” Jabee, who will be hosting the event but not performing, said these types of organizations helped his mother get through the holidays when he was a child. “I want to be able to do that for other families and try and lighten the load because it’s hard,” Jabee said. “It’s really hard.” Gift Raps, now in its sixth year, is also scheduled in El Reno (Dec. 14 at Vices Bar and Venue). “The focus is still definitely the homeless population and those in need,”

Jabee said. “This year is the first year in a long time we got dates booked a little bit sooner, earlier in December. That way we can get everything to our partners a little bit sooner, before Christmas. Before, it was right around Christmas and we didn’t get to deliver all of our donations until either right before Christmas or after Christmas. This year, we get to really get all of the toys and stuff to kids before Christmas, which will be dope.” Jabee — who recently finished recording his album This world is so fragile and cruel, I’m glad I got you scheduled for release March 28 — said he would eventually like Gift Raps to grow, but he plans to keep the event within the state. “If I expand, it will be in Oklahoma, other cities,” Jabee said. “I don’t want to do an event and it lack or be halfway because I wasn’t able to be there, but if we do expand, it will be other cities in Oklahoma. My focus, definitely, for Gift Raps is Oklahoma. If we expand other ways, it will be trying to bring bigger artists and get bigger sponsors for years to come.”

Positive performance

Trip G, returning to the Gift Raps lineup for a third year, said he keeps coming back to the event because he loves “the spirit” of it. “It’s just a good feeling to be able to give back to people through music,” Trip G said. “There’s always people that are dealing with something. If I’m able to help out in any way, even if it’s not financially, I’m always trying to do something to help others out if I’m in a position to do that.” His monthly showcase Trip N Friends — 8 p.m. Thursday at The Queen Lounge, 2306 N. MacArthur Blvd. — will also raise donations for Gift Raps 6. Admission to the show, also hosted by Jabee and featuring performances by The True CW and Thomas Who?, is free with a canned food item. Trip G said he, too, has seen firsthand the good charity organizations can do. “I’ve had family members that they go to food drives,” Trip G said. “It doesn’t just help out the community; it’s helping out people that’s personally close to me. One month they’re struggling, they can’t get things figured out. You can come here and get you something to get you through for the night or for the week.” Trip G released the EP Wired Up in October and plans to release follow-up Shock Therapy Dec. 13. While he bases his music on his personal experiences, he said he doesn’t rap about his charity work. “If you’re going to help people, help people,” Trip G said, “but when people help people and they’ve got to put it all on

social media and they’ve got to let people know that they’re helping, it kind of waters it down for me because it’s almost like you’re helping people for other people to see. So a lot of things I do, like helping people, that’s just never been something I thought, ‘Hey, I should talk about that.’ I just do it. It’s just in my heart to go out and do it, and if people find out, they do, and if they don’t, they don’t.” Deezy, also scheduled to perform at Gift Raps, plans to release five-song music video EP Aporia in January and a joint album with Javon Sparxx sometime in 2020. The crowd can expect to hear Aporia’s lead single “Count It Up.” His lyrics range from meaningful to boastful and party-starting hype.

If I expand, it will be in Oklahoma, other cities. Jabee “I always have music with a message, but at the same time, I want people to have fun,” Deezy said. “I’m a really versatile artist. Sometimes you don’t get a really deep positive or introspectivetype message, but I have turn-up songs, like I have my hit single ‘Rollin’’ that got a lot of radio play; people really like to have fun with that. I really try to make sure people have fun at the same time that we’re doing something positive and benefiting other people. I always like to bring a high-energy performance and make it fun for everybody to be there.” His music does have a message for those who are struggling, though. “I have songs that are really about growth and progression,” Deezy said. “One of my most popular songs is called ‘One Day,’ where the hook is basically saying, ‘We’re going to make it one day.’ That kind of song gives people hope that regardless of what you’re going through or what you’re dealing with, you’re going to get there eventually. It just takes digging in there and pushing through, and this type of event can help give people that same hope and put a little light in their day, that somebody cares what they’re going through.” WeRdoZe, Verse, Ray June, Bambi and Shisko are also scheduled to perform. Visit towertheatreokc.com.

Gift Raps 6 8:30 p.m. Dec. 12 Ponyboy 423 NW 23rd St. towertheatreokc.com | 405-896-2037

Trip G’s monthly showcase Trip N Friends — 8 p.m. Thursday at The Queen Lounge, 2306 N. MacArthur Blvd. — will also collect donations. | Photo provided 28

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

Free (with donation) 21+

LIVE MUSIC PJ Morton, Tower Theatre. R&B

Swim Fan/Stepmom/Chelsea Days, Opolis. ROCK/POP

Susan Herndon, Hollywood Corners.

Zin Babys/The Dead Aces, Oklahoma City Limits.

THURSDAY, DEC. 5

SUNDAY, DEC. 8

Brad Fielder/Clancy Jones/Clint Vines, Blue Note Lounge. SINGER/SONGWRITER

Elizabeth Speegle Band, Othello’s Italian Restaurant.

Buddy South/Panhandle Dirt, Ponyboy. AMERICANA

Hosty, The Deli. ROCK

SINGER/SONGWRITER

Casey & Minna, Angry Scotsman Brewing. FOLK

ROCK

JAZZ

Jahruba and the Ja Mystics, Othello’s Italian Restaurant. REGGAE

Hot House Band, Othello’s Italian Restaurant. JAZZ

Old 97’s, Tower Theatre. COUNTRY

Maddie Razook/Spinster/Lacey Elaine, The Blue Door. SINGER/SONGWRITER

Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Chesapeake Energy Arena. ROCK

Nile/Terrorizer, 89th Street-OKC. METAL

MONDAY, DEC. 9

Push/UBI, The Deli. HIP-HOP Shelly Phelps & Dylan Nagode, Jazmo’z Bourbon St. Café. ACOUSTIC

FRIDAY, DEC. 6 The Austin Nail Band, Katt’s Cove. COVER Flatland Calvary/Wight Lighters/Dalton Domino, Tower Theatre. AMERICANA Janice Francis-Smith, Full Circle Bookstore. SINGER/SONGWRITER

Jessica Tate & John Rouse, Bossa Nova Caipirinha Lounge. JAZZ John Fullbright, The Blue Door. SINGER/SONGWRITER

Mad Honey/Burl/Gall, Opolis. ROCK/POP

Bad Luck, 89th Street-OKC. ROCK Jason Hunt and Preston Ware, Sean Cumming’s Irish Restaurant. FOLK

TUESDAY, DEC. 10 Country Clique, Friends Restaurant & Club. COUNTRY Kyle Reid, Scratch Kitchen & Cocktails. SINGER/ SONGWRITER

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 11 Ian Moore, The Blue Door. SINGER/SONGWRITER John Carlton & Kyle Reid, The Winston. SINGER/ SONGWRITER

Rotten Stitches/Gutter Villain/SKAB, Blue Note Lounge. PUNK

Shortt Dogg, Remington Park. R&B Stars, 40 West Bar & Grill. COVER Superfreak, The Liszt. COVER

Ramblin’ Jack Elliott Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger, Odetta — many of the legendary folksingers from Ramblin’ Jack Elliott’s era have already rambled on. But at age 88, Elliott — a National Medal of the Arts recipient who played with and influenced Seeger, Guthrie, Johnny Cash, The Grateful Dead and Bob Dylan’s Rolling Thunder Revue — remains what Rolling Stone recently called “one of the last connections to an increasingly vanishing world.” So listen up 8 p.m. Dec. 12 at The Blue Door, 2805 N. McKinley Ave. Tickets are $40. Call 405-524-0738 or visit bluedoorokc.com. DEC. 12 Photo Michael Avedon / provided

These are events recommended by Oklahoma Gazette editorial staff members. For full calendar listings, go to okgazette.com.

Susan Herndon/Sarah Reid/Celia Monroe, Bluebonnet Bar. FOLK

SATURDAY, DEC. 7 Brad Fielder, Lazy Circles Brewing. SINGER/SONGWRITER

Colt Ford, Diamond Ballroom. COUNTRY The Highway Walkers, Blue Note Lounge. COUNTRY/ ROCK

Hynotik, Remington Park. COVER

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 4 Chavelle/Convey, Diamond Ballroom. ROCK John Carlton & Kyle Reid, The Winston. SINGER/ SONGWRITER

MC Chris/Shubzilla, 89th Street-OKC. HIP-HOP

John Fullbright, The Blue Door. SINGER/ SONGWRITER

The Killings/Turbo Wizard/Costanzas, Resonator Institute. ROCK Life of the Party, Whiskey Chicks. COVER The Mike Ritchie Trio, Othello’s Italian Restaurant. ACOUSTIC

Live music submissions must be received by Oklahoma Gazette no later than noon on Wednesday seven days before the desired publication date. Late submissions will not be included in the listings. Submissions run as space allows, although we strive to make the listings as inclusive as possible. Fax your listings to 528-4600 or e-mail to listings@okgazette.com. Sorry, but phone submissions cannot be accepted.

GO TO OKGAZETTE.COM FOR FULL LISTINGS!

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

CANNABIS

THE HIGH CULTURE

Ganja grudges

This month, cannabis industry participants don kickboxing gear and settle their scores in the ring. By Matt Dinger

Imagine this: a circus tent on rural private property; inside, a professional boxing ring filled with both trained fighters and folks from the cannabis industry going at it with boxing gloves, surrounded by hundreds of medical cannabis patients. That is exactly what the first Stand Up & Fight/Canna-Grudge Showdown hopes to bring Sunday. The event will be held at 940 NE 34th St. in Newcastle. Doors open at 6 p.m. and fights begin at 7 p.m. Tickets are $25. “I used to fight Toughman, and then I got into kickboxing. It’s always been a thing of mine,” Michael “Medic Mike” Sutterfield said. Sutterfield credits Daniel “Tokie Daniel” Boyington of Tokie Tees and the organizer of this year’s cannabis kickball tournament for the idea. “He’s like, ‘Man, we need some kind of canna-fights or something,’ and when he said it, it just kind of rung a bell with me … So I thought, ‘Why not throw it out there and see if someone would even provide me a ring and stuff to do something like that?’ and from there, it just took off,” Sutterfield said. “And so then once I see that it was really going and people really were interested in this, I thought, ‘You know what? Why not do this and split the money with Operation Zero and help cancer patients because that’s what me and Jeremy both do anyway?’ And then this will be something different, something new, something that’s off the fucking wall. And it’s been a home run, I think.” Originally slated to be held inside a Moore vape shop, interest in the event as well as pressure from city government prompted Sutterfield to move the event to some land his family owns outside Newcastle. Licensed patients

can consume cannabis on the premises, but no alcohol will be sold. The event will now be held inside a large heated tent measuring 200 feet by 100 feet that can hold up to 500 people. As of late November, Sutterfield said more than 150 tickets have been sold. The event is sanctioned by World Kickboxing Organisation (WKO), and all fighters are now members of the organization for one year, prompting talks of rematch bouts.

This will be something different, something new, something that’s off the wall. Michael “Medic Mike” Sutterfield There will be a total of 14 kickboxing matches on the card. However, the serious bouts will be the preliminary matches, including three title fights, followed by cannabis industry matches as the main event. “We went all-out with this. We have insurance. Anyone that’s fighting, the day of weigh-ins, they’ll come, they’ll weigh in, they’ll go to the physical with the doctor right there,” Sutterfield said. “Once they get that physical, they will also fill out their card and they are actually sanctioned kickboxers for one year with WKO, so if you go and you look at WKO’s magazine and stuff that they put out, your name will actually be in there and you will be ranked. Granted, you’re probably going to be at the bottom, but you will be ranked.” At least one doctor will be on hand

at the event, but Sutterfield said they are in talks to have a second doctor at the fights. Organizers are providing the headgear, gloves and shin guards. Fighters will be required to provide their own cups and mouthpieces, and each set of fighters will decide whether they will use 14-ounce or 22-ounce gloves during their bouts. The judges for the event are Sean O’Grady, World Boxing Association’s former Lightweight Champion of the World; Connie Johnson, former state senator; Greg “Chilly Mack” Wilson, owner of Mr. Mack’s; Monica Green, owner of The Green’s Bakery; and Jeremy Dedmon, owner of Paragon Extracts and Operation Zero. The referee for all fights is David “Thunder” Cummings, a 13-time world kickboxing champion. The announcer is Larry Reed from The Grinder, and the “ring queen” is Amie Davis. The partial event card is as follows, in no particular order: Matt “Action” Jackson vs. Byron Harmon Johnathan Woody vs. Edgar Rodriguez Alexx Garza vs. Justin Garroutte James Brown vs. Dustin Barker Andrew Blackshear vs. Derek “Hooligan Bean” Workman Michael “Medic Mike” Sutterfield vs. Kody Armstrong “Ganja” Gordon Flick vs. “Reefer” Ronnie Welchel Randall Pegg vs. Robert Barker Amanda Smith vs. Shelby Dean

The first three matches listed are part of the Stand Up & Fight portion of the event. “Those are going to be a whole ’nother set of fights. Now, these are trained fighters that do this for a living. I think there’s six of those,” Sutterfield said. “Three are title fights, real title fights. Those are going to be kickboxing matches. No headgear, no shin guards; I mean full-out, getting-it-on kickboxing matches. These are trained fighters that are fighting for belts that night.

Stand Up & Fight/Canna-Grudge Showdown is 6 p.m. Sunday. | Image Phillip Danner

We’re gonna do all their fights first and then do ours behind that.” Some of the Canna-Grudge matches are professional beefs that will be quashed in the ring, while some are personal grudges and others are just people who want to get in the ring and duke it out with someone. “My fight is personal with Kody Armstrong. I promise you, I’m going in there to whoop his ass. I guarantee that. … The story behind that is more of a bad business deal, I guess you could say. I might have had him in mind a little bit when this all got started. I guess you could say I just took a negative and turned it into a positive,” Sutterfield said. “And here’s the thing. After this, we both have agreed to the same thing. Everything is squashed. Everything is forgiven. Now we can move on. We’ll never be close like we were or whatever. We ain’t gonna go and kick it together, but we’re good.” As word has gotten around, those in the cannabis industry as far as Colorado have gotten wind of the idea, so expect more events in the future. “Our insurance policy that we had to buy on this whole deal, when we purchased that, it’s good for one year also, so now our little brains are spinning and we want to hold to do this twice a year. One in Oklahoma City and I’ve got a spot right outside of Tulsa that’s willing to let me do it there,” Sutterfield said. “I’ve already got more people in the business calling me, saying, ‘I want in the next one. I want in the next one.’ Dude, they’re already lining up for another one.” Visit facebook.com/wkousatrainingcenter.

Stand Up & Fight/CannaGrudge Showdown 6 p.m. Sunday 940 NE 34th St., Newcastle facebook.com/wkousatrainingcenter $25 O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

THE HIGH CULTURE NEW 1200 MG SYRUP

2811

Dorchester Drive, OKC

VISIT TEGRIDYMARKET.COM Follow Us!

@tegridymarket

@tegridyokcrx

@tegridymarket

4 FLAVORS

TO ADD TO YOUR FAVORITE DRINK

GREEN APPLE CHERRY WATERMELON BLUE RASPBERRY REGISTER TO WIN A

TURKEY DINNER

Twisted Tuesday 5 prerolls for $25!

Consistent Affordable Quality Products

Medical Marijuana Dispensary Family Owned & Operated

405.429.7570 | 1221 SW 59th ST, OKC MON-SAT 10AM-9PM SUN 12PM-6PM

CANNASOUTH.NET @canna_south

CANNABIS

$5 OFF

First time patients

MELLOW MONDAY Early bird special all day

KNOCKOUT THE PAIN

TASTY TUESDAY 20% OFF Edibles

EVERYDAY 10AM-12PM EARLY BIRD SPECIAL $8 Pre-Rolls 15% OFF Carts

WAXXY WEDNESDAY 20% OFF Concentrates

$5 OFF

THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 15% OFF CBD / Topicals / Tinctures / Capsules / 2 for $30 Krispies & Emerald Leaf

First time patients spending $25 or more

FLOWER FRIDAY Top Shelf: $40 (1/8) $12 (g) Premium: $35 (1/8) $10 (g)

Pre-Rolls: $8 | Rosin Rolls: $20

14201 N MAY AVE SUITE #205 405.242.5325

SHATTERDAY SATURDAY 2 for $75 on select Shatter SUNDAY FUNDAY 15% OFF Purchase 32

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

RINGSIDEMEDICAL.COM M-S 10AM-9PM SUN 12PM-7PM

Cannabis cowboys

The inaugural Cowboy Cup will be held Dec. 13 and 14 in Stillwater. By Matt Dinger

This month, Oklahoma sees its first homegrown cannabis championship. The inaugural Cowboy Cup is held at Tumbleweed Dance Hall, Lakeview and N. Country Club Road, in Stillwater, and organizers pledge it will be “Oklahoma’s premier cannabis championship, expo and harvest festival.” More than a dozen local musical acts, including Watermelon Slim, Taddy Porter, The Brothers Moore, Henna Roso, Sativa Prophets and The Dirty Little Betty’s, are expected to perform. Cowboy Cup includes an art exposition featuring local Oklahoma artists, glass-blowing demonstrations, vendor booths, a lounge tent, seminars on topics ranging from home growing to professional software and a patient drive. Food trucks and alcoholic beverages will also be available. F.A.S.T. Laboratories coordinates the product testing for the event, which includes a wide range of categories including cannabis flower, concentrates, edibles, topicals and CBD flower. Entries to the competition are already closed. Flower categories are indoor, sungrown light assist, sungrown

Winners at Cowboy Cup do not receive cups; they receive customized belt buckles. | Photo provided

and grand champion. “Sungrown” flower includes both outdoor and greenhouse, while “sungrown light assist” is defined as outdoor cannabis grown with supplemental lighting during the flowering stage. Indoor flower can be grown in any medium, and the grand champion category is a showdown between the other flower winners. The top prize is $1,000. The concentrates categories include solventless (extraction method using ice and water, including dry-sift technique), rosin (ice water extraction followed by a secondary heating process), distillate (extraction method using alcohol) and cartridges (any extraction method in cartridge-consumable form). Next year, organizers plan to add categories for CO2 (extraction process using carbon dioxide), sauce (traditional hydrocarbon extraction with terpene preservation techniques) and diamonds continued on page 35

EvErything

to s u i t yo u r cannabis nEEds

military, vets, seniors 55+and newcustomers 10% off everyday (no double discounts)

PREMIUM TOP SHELF FLOWER

15% OFF EDIBLES

1 5 % o f f e v e ry t h i n g

HOURS m o n - s at 1 0 a m - 1 0 p m & s u n 1 2 p m - 8 p m 8805 S. Western • Oklahoma City, 73139

405-900-5668 “fair prices for top shelf, quality flower”

10% BUY TWO OFF ALL DIFFERENT EDIBLES! THC PRODUCTS, 10% OFF!

Humpday

PRE ROLLS 10% OFF!

thc thursday

Flower friday

4 for $20 5 for $30 Pre Rolls Bluntz

WA X WED NESD AY

EVERYDAY!

20% OFF SHATTER, WAX, BUDDER & DIAMONDS

first and last hour of the day

Wednesday

TWISTED TUESDAY $ 5 PRE-ROLLS

mon-sat 10am-11am & 9pm-10pm sun 12pm-1pm 7pm-8pm

twofer tuesday

VISIT OUR LOCATIONS!

MUNC HIE MOND AY

Happy Hour

Munchie Monday

D A I LY S P E C I A L S

THE M A R IJ U A N A R E VOLU T ION

NEW LOWER PRICES ON

shatterday saturday shatter & Crumble

CARTS & PREMIUM & MOON SYRINGES TOP SHELF ROCKS ARE FLOWER & HASH 10% OFF! 10% 0FF! 10%OFF!

NORMAN MOORE EDMOND MIDTOWN OPEN IN

DECEMBER

THANK YOU THURSDAY

20% OFF FOR MILITARY, FIRST RESPONDERS, HEALTHCARE & TEACHERS (WITH ID) FO G GY F R IDAY

BUY 2 OR MORE CARTS FOR $50 EACH (OR 15% OFF ONE) SELECT SATURDAY

$250 OUNCE OF ANY PLATINUM STRAIN

FIND US ON OR CALL ONE OF OUR STORES FOR DETAILS

BRING THIS INTO ONE OF OUR LOCATIONS FOR

10% OFF YOUR ENTIRE PURCHASE! EXPIRES 12.30.19 WWW.OKIEKUSHCLUB.COM

SUPER SAVER SUNDAY

20% 0FF ANY ONE ITEM

We can help you with your Medical Marijuana recommendations & Check us out on

OFFEND YOU? KEEP YOUR FIVE-STAR RATING IN EXTRACT WITH REVIEW-FREE ADVERTISING ADVERTISING@OKGAZETTE.COM

405.528.6000

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

The Medicine MAN

R E C O M M E N DAT I O N S $60

Office Recommendations (Including Walk-Ins)

$60

Discuss the benefits of medical THC and CBD oils with our in-house team. Buy two THC and CBD oils get third 1/2 off

(Out-of-Town & Home Bound)

Tell us our best product, items we carry, let us know how we’re doing or offer suggestions on things to change/improve. Suggestions get a gram 1/2 off

Virtual Recommendations HERBAL AID WELLNESS CENTER 4500 N LINCOLN BLVD, STE. 201 OKC

4 0 5 .6 5 5 . 2 0 0 0

Dodson's

LOYAL CUSTOMER DRAWING FREE FOOD for ALL Buying Patients Sat., December 14, 2019 – 3pm VISA Gift Card for R/T tickets to Vegas & (2) 55” TV’s Rules Apply - Must Be Present To Win MONDAY make it thru the week $30 OFF 1/2 gram try out tuesday 10% off new to you product hump day wednesday 20% discount on 1/8 or more throwback thursday 15% discount on 2 grams or more friday chill with us

•

suggestions saturdays

Super sundays donut & coffee free with your purchase of $30+ Veterans: free coffee or donut with your purchase of $15+

405-225-1323

WE’RE SOCIAL.

AND NEVER MISS A POST

@OKGAZETTE

5917 S. Sunnylane Road - OKC

themedicinemanok@yahoo.com

AVAILABLE AT THESE FINE RETAILERS

Green Acres Market • Homeland (May Ave.) • House of Health • Meridian Health Foods Natural Grocers • Omega Health Foods • Velvet Monkey

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

THE HIGH CULTURE continued from page 32

CANNABIS

(traditional hydrocarbon extraction with a secondary method to create the formation of THC-A crystals). Edibles are judged by hard/soft candies, baked goods and specialties. Topicals containing THC have their own categories, while CBD also has its own flower category. Pre-rolls, including any method of added concentrates, are in a separate category. The event comes a few months after the first Oklahoma High Times Cannabis Cup left a peculiar taste in many peoples’ mouths. “We will hold a fair, clean and honest competition where every entrant will have the same opportunity to win regardless of status as a vendor or sponsor,” founder and CEO Daniel Lewis said. “We have also made entry into the competition less expensive than the laboratory tests they will receive. We want everyone to get involved. We are committed to providing a safe and welcoming environment for everyone to come out and have a great time celebrating the emerging cannabis culture in Oklahoma. The event will be ADA-accessible and include shuttles to and from many Stillwater hotels.” Lewis got the idea after doing “grunt work” at Emerald Cup in California. “I just knew that when the green rush came to Oklahoma, that this is exactly what I wanted to do. It’s not what you know; it’s who you know, and this puts me in a really unique position for everything cannabis-related,” he said. “Everybody said, ‘Well, you need to watch High Times and take notes,’ and I’m going, ‘No, I already had all those notes before they came. I knew it was going to be a mess just because they’re kind of disorganized and they run around, they go state to state, but I didn’t realize, I don’t think anybody anticipated the fallout that happened. I’m not here to bash them whatsoever. I was ready to go toe-to-toe with them because we have the outdoor growers. And I’m going, ‘Well, they’re here in August, so that’s all well and good. I hope you guys have fun, but at least I know I’ve still got the sungrown farmers and that’s going to be a lot of growers in Oklahoma, at least in the near future. I know indoor’s easy to get into and it’s nice and clean and it’s a controllable environment, but everybody knows that outdoor growing, you can’t touch it as far as profitability.’”

His wife is quadriplegic, so accessibility and comfort is a priority for Cowboy Cup. “We’ve been promising the whole time that we were going to be able to be ADA-accessible, and we wanted everybody to be comfortable,” he said. “Everything is in heated tents. We know we’re in December and, hell, it may be 55 degrees that day, and I hope to God it is because if it is, I’m going to open up the walls on the tent. But if it’s not, we’re going to be covered, and we understand this is a medical event and nobody understands ADA accessibility quite like I do. We just live with it, and so we were always going to be there and we always want everybody to be comfortable and having a good time and the vendors to feel like they got their money’s worth out of it.”

I just knew that when the green rush came to Oklahoma, that this is exactly what I wanted to do. Daniel Lewis Advance general admission tickets are $45 and include an all-day pass Dec. 14. VIP passes are $110 and include entry to the vendor night Dec. 13, early admission Dec. 14, one free seminar and a swag bag. Attendees must be at least 18 years old. Tickets are $50 at the door. All VIP tickets must be purchased online. Vendor night begins at 5 p.m., and the Dec. 14 festivities begin at 11 a.m. (10 a.m. for VIP ticketholders). “What the VIP does, it doesn’t really get you into any extra areas, but it gets you in on Friday, and so what we’ve kind of done is we’ve made Friday like the VIP vendor; anybody that’s got the money and pros that can pay will be there to have a good time and kind of mingle before the riot hits on Saturday,” Lewis said. “By doing that, all those people, all those VIP tickets, already have bracelets, and so when they get there on Saturday, half of the people are just going to walk in. There’s no waiting in line anymore to get scanned in, so I’m getting rid of half of the line right there.” Visit cowboycup.com.

$70 MMJ DR. REC’S $70

FALITNERANL I S T- B E S T O F O K C AT I V E M E D I C I N E P R A C T I T I O N E R

Natural Choice Urgent Care

$70 MMJ Rec’s $70 Call for appointments 405.608.6820

MON-FRI 9AM-6PM SAT 8PM-3PM

Randy Whitekiller, DO 5929 N. May Ave, Suite 500 Oklahoma City SUMMIT BUILDING

WHEN WATER is JUST

NOT ENOUGH

Group rates available for events and holiday parties!

iVEE is an Oklahoma City based on-demand mobile IV hydration company. We deliver IV solutions to homes, businesses, events, hotels, and more, to quickly relieve a wide variety of dehyrdation related conditions. Our medical professionals come directly to you to provide you with your personalized IV therapy solution..

PROMO CODE

GAZETTE10

www.iveemobilehydration.com

10% OFF PURCHASE FOR NEW PATIENTS

Promising accessibility

The judges for the competition sent out applications and were chosen. They will file their ballots electronically, and F.A.S.T. Laboratories is keeping the entries confidential during the judging process. “Once I have those winners, I’ll call F.A.S.T. Labs and I’ll give them the numbers. F.A.S.T. Labs is going to make out my award ceremony cards, so my company won’t know until we pull that card out who won,” Lewis said.

Cowboy Cup 5 p.m. Dec. 13 (vendors and VIPs) 10 a.m. Dec. 14 Tumbleweed Dance Hall Lakeview and N. Country Club Road, Stillwater cowboycup.com $45-$110

NOW OPEN HERBOLOGY OKLAHOMA CITY 718 N. BROADWAY AVE OKLAHOMA CITY, OK 73102 405-445-1902 MYHERBOLOGY.COM @HERBOLOGYGRAM O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

Self Wellness GIFT GUIDE

MI X ERS FOR YOUR HOLIDAY MINGLERS

Get your motor runnin’ this holiday season with Canna South’s Black Gold Premium 1200mg THC Syrup. This 4oz can packs a punch and mixes perfectly with any beverage. Choose from green apple, cherry, watermelon or blue raspberry to find your favorite flavor or enjoy any of our flower, edibles, plants, vapes, tinctures and more!

Canna South Medical Marijuana Dispensary 1221 SW 59th St. 405-429-7570 cannasouth.net

500 MG ROLL-ON

Who’s on your “nice” list this year? Promote their health and well-being this holiday season with PlusCBD Oil Gold Formula 500mg Roll-On. PlusCBD™ Oil Roll-Ons contains 500mg of CBD, plus warming camphor, cooling menthol and a unique blend of five traditional Asian botanicals, including cinnamon, licorice and poria mushroom.

PlusCBD Oil

T HE M A R I JUA N A R E VOLU T ION S TA R T S HER E

Enjoy one of Okie Kush’s home-grown strains today! Roadkill, with it’s frosty trichomes, will have you saying, “Pass the turkey, please!” and help ease the strain of the holiday madness. Okie-grown, Okie-cured. Visit any of our 4 metro locations to talk with a knowledgeable budtender and find the product that’s right for you!

Okie Kush Club several metro locations okiekushclub.com

N AT UR E ’S K E Y GUMMIE S

Nature’s Key Gummies come in a variety of flavors , strengths, and ratios. Their 250mg THC gummies provide patients with an accurate dose that is delicious at the same time. The flavor option featured in this photo is Cherry Limeade.

Ringside Medical 14201 N. May Ave., Suite 205 ringsidemedical.com 405-242-5325

pluscbdoil.com 855-758-7223

E A SY S T R EE T CA NN A BIS PRODUC T S

Looking for the perfect edible to get you through visits with the in-laws? Planet Hollyweed now carries Easy Street’s full spectrum cannabis gummies in a variety of flavors. 100mg packs with ten 10mg pieces and 200mg packs with ten 20mg pieces makes it easy to find the right dosage for you! Easy Street gummies are available in indica or sativa.

$ 10 H A LF GR A MS OF K IEF

Take care of yourself over the holidays with high-quality CBD and THC products from Strainwise! With our $10 plus tax half gram kief special, you get more for less. At Strainwise you’ll find a wide array of full spectrum CBD and THC topicals, carts, flower, edibles, waxes and more. Enjoy the Strainwise difference.

Planet Hollyweed

Strainwise Dispensary and CBD Store

3121 N. Pennsylvania Ave. weedmaps.com 405-225-1104

2600 S. Meridian Ave., Suite A leafly.com 405-673-4424

Products containing THC in this gift guide are for personal use only and may only be purchased using a valid patient license from the Oklahoma Medical Marijuana Authority.

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

TOKE BOARD

THC

PATIENTS

FLOWER REVIEW

Cannabis effects vary wildly from patient to patient based on a multitude of factors, including THC tolerance, brain chemistry and personal taste. This review is based on the subjective experience of one patient. Strain name: Forbidden Fruit

Applications Received:

205,899

DISPENSARIES

Applications Approved:

GROWERS

195, 604

Applications Approved:

1,651

Applications Approved:

4,063

CONSUMERS Natural person or entity in whose name a cannabis license would be issued

DISPENSARIES Allows the entity to purchase medical cannabis from a processer licensee or grower licensee and sell medical cannabis only to qualified patients, or their parents or legal guardian(s) if applicable, and caregivers

GROWERS allows the entity togrow, harvest, and package medical cannabis for the purpose of selling medical cannabis to a dispensary, processor, or researcher

Grown by: Stability Growth Acquired from: Strainwise Date acquired: Nov. 22 THC/CBD percentages: 13.76 percent/0 percent (per The Highgrade Testing Lab)

had a strong flavor and more trichomes. While an indica, this one slowed me down but did not kill my momentum, instead just making me more relaxed with an even-keeled high while I tended to things that needed to be done. It’s a good strain for a comfortable couch day in the winter without putting you straight to sleep. It should be noted that a previous run of this strain from Stability Growth took third place in the indica category at Oklahoma High Times Cannabis Cup in August.

Physical traits: mid-tone green with few dull orange stigmas and a smattering of purple with dense trichomes Bouquet: fruity and musky Review: Forbidden Fruit was the first strain I chased after getting my medical cannabis card. Xavier Schucker at Cannabis Aid alerted me to it when some was dropped off at the dispensary. Neither he nor I had seen or smelled anything like it, and I stocked up on it last winter, smoking it sparingly and savoring every bit. That being said, this year has been a smorgasbord of excellent and exotic cannabis, and I have found many strains with the same eye appeal and terpene profiles, but I have finally circled back around. While this particular run was not as purple or as pungent with the scent of grapefruit, it definitely

Forbidden Fruit | Photo Phillip Danner

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY Homework: Evil is boring. Rousing fear is a hackneyed shtick. More: https://bit.ly/ EvilisBoring ARIES (March 21-April 19)

In composing this oracle, I have called on the unruly wisdom of Vivienne Westwood. She’s the fashion designer who incorporated the punk esthetic into mainstream styles. Here are four quotes by her that will be especially suitable for your use in the coming weeks. 1. “I disagree with everything I used to say.” 2. “The only possible effect one can have on the world is through unpopular ideas.” 3. “Intelligence is composed mostly of imagination, insight, and things that have nothing to do with reason.” 4. “I’m attracted to people who are really true to themselves and who are always trying to do something that makes their life more interesting.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“I’m drowning in the things I never told you.” Famous make-up artist Alexandra Joseph wrote that message to a companion with whom she had a complicated relationship. Are you experiencing a similar sensation, Taurus? If so, I invite you to do something about it! The coming weeks will be a good time to stop drowning. One option is to blurt out to your ally all the feelings and thoughts you’ve been withholding and hiding. A second option is to divulge just some of the feelings and thoughts you’ve been withholding and hiding—and then monitor the results of your partial revelation. A third option is to analyze why you’ve been withholding and hiding. Is it because your ally hasn’t been receptive, or because you’re afraid of being honest? Here’s what I suggest: Start with the third option, then move on to the second.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I’ve got some borderline sentimental poetry to offer you in this horoscope. It may be too mushy for a mentally crisp person like you. You may worry that I’ve fallen under the sway of sappy versions of love rather than the snappy versions I usually favor. But there is a method in my madness: I suspect you need an emotionally suggestive nudge to fully activate your urge to merge; you require a jolt of sweetness to inspire you to go in

quest of the love mojo that’s potentially available to you in abundance. So please allow your heart to be moved by the following passage from poet Rabindranath Tagore: “My soul is alight with your infinitude of stars. Your world has broken upon me like a flood. The flowers of your garden blossom in my body.” CANCER (June 21-July 22) Try saying this, and notice how it feels: “For the next 17 days, I will make ingenious efforts to interpret my problems as interesting opportunities that offer me the chance to liberate myself from my suffering and transform myself into the person I aspire to become.” Now speak the following words and see what thoughts and sensations get triggered: “For the next 17 days, I will have fun imagining that my so-called flaws are signs of potential strengths and talents that I have not yet developed.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

An interviewer asked singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen if he needed to feel bothered and agitated in order to stimulate his creativity. Cohen said no. “When I get up in the morning,” he testified, “my real concern is to discover whether I’m in a state of grace.” Surprised, the interviewer asked, “What do you mean by a state of grace?” Cohen described it as a knack for balance that he called on to ride the chaos around him. He knew he couldn’t fix or banish the chaos—and it would be arrogant to try. His state of grace was more like skiing skillfully down a hill, gliding along the contours of unpredictable terrain. I’m telling you about Cohen’s definition, Leo, because I think that’s the state of grace you should cultivate right now. I bet it will stimulate your creativity in ways that surprise and delight you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Poet Juan Felipe Herrera praises the value of making regular efforts to detox our cluttered minds. He says that one of the best methods for accomplishing this cleansing is to daydream. You give yourself permission to indulge in uncensored, unabashed fantasies. You feel no inhibition about envisioning scenes that you may or may not ever carry out in real life. You understand that this free-form play of images is a healing joy, a gift you give

yourself. It’s a crafty strategy to make sure you’re not hiding any secrets from yourself. Now is a favorable time to practice this art, Virgo.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

In accordance with current astrological omens, here’s your meditation, as articulated by the blogger named Riverselkie: “Let your life be guided by the things that produce the purest secret happiness, with no thought to what that may look like from the outside. Feed the absurd whims of your soul and create with no audience in mind but yourself. What is poignant to you is what others will be moved by, too. Embrace what you love about yourself and the right people will come.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“I swear I became a saint from waiting,” wrote Scorpio poet Odysseus Elytis in his poem “Three Times the Truth.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, you may be in a similar situation. And you’ll be wise to welcome the break in the action and abide calmly in the motionless lull. You’ll experiment with the hypothesis that temporary postponement is best not just for you, but for all concerned.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

“My greatest asset is that I am constantly changing,” says Sagittarian actress and activist Jane Fonda. This description may not always be applicable to you, but I think it should be during the coming weeks. You’re primed to thrive on a robust commitment to selftransformation. As you proceed in your holy task, keep in mind this other advice from Fonda. 1. “One part of wisdom is knowing what you don’t need anymore and letting it go.” 2. “It is never too late to master your weaknesses.” 3. “If you allow yourself, you can become stronger in the very places that you’ve been broken.” 4. “The challenge is not to be perfect. It’s to be whole.” P.S. And what does it mean to be whole? Be respectful toward all your multiple facets, and welcome them into the conversation you have about how to live.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You can’t escape your past completely. You can’t loosen its hold on you so thoroughly that it will forever allow you to move with limitless freedom into the future. But you definitely have the power to release yourself from at least a part of your past’s grip. And the coming weeks will be an excellent time to do just that: to pay off a portion of your karmic debt and shed worn-out emotional baggage.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Aquarian playwright August Strindberg didn’t have much interest in people who “regurgitate what they have learned from books.” He was bored by stories that have been told over and over again; was impatient with propaganda disguised as information and by sentimental platitudes masquerading as sage insights. He craved to hear about the unprecedented secrets of each person’s life: the things they know and feel that no one else knows and feels. He was a student of “the natural history of the human heart.” I bring Strindberg’s perspective to your attention, my dear one-of-a-kind Aquarius, because now is a perfect time for you to fully embody it.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

“It’s no fun being in love with a shadow,” wrote Piscean poet Edna St. Vincent Millay. And yet she indulged profusely in that no-fun activity, and even capitalized on it to create a number of decent, if morose, poems. But in alignment with your astrological omens, Pisces, I’m going to encourage you to fall out of love with shadows. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to channel your passions into solid realities: to focus your ardor and adoration on earthly pleasures and practical concerns and imperfect but interesting people.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes /daily text message horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

PUZZLES NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE CROSSWORD PUZZLE OPEN WIDE! | 1208 By Frank Longo Puzzles edited by Will Shortz

ACROSS

1 Bondsman, of late? 12 Unfold 21 It has some miles on it 22 Not yet in the database 23 A.P. courses, e.g. 24 Summer-camp activity 25 Emily Dickinson’s “I heard ____ buzz — when I died” 26 Wonder-working biblical prophet 28 Creator of Mike Hammer 29 Cross 31 In the mood for love 33 Main theme of Othello 37 Climax of The Shawshank Redemption 42 Picnic, e.g. 43 Bumming, as cigarettes 44 Rotting evidence 45 Clicking counters 46 Lacking 48 Imprint permanently 50 Means of communication without interference 52 Insulation and sealing material 54 Thrice due 55 Not generics 59 Went skiing 60 Hit 1997 film condemned by the Chinese government 63 Fixture in a chocolate factory 66 Least normal 67 Like some arts 69 James who starred in 1970s TV’s How the West Was Won 70 Name originally proposed (but not adopted) for Utah 73 Paint a false picture of 74 Weigh-station lineup 75 Fuel-carrying ships 77 Event that usually has gate crashers? 78 Methods of studying pooled data 81 Peak in 1980 headlines 83 Representation of the real world in literature and art 84 NASA’s spacecraft Dawn began orbiting it in 2015 85 Clowns sometimes put them on 89 List-ending phrase 91 Big to-do 95 Given a heads-up about 97 Subscription service with an arrow in its logo 100 Free 101 Something that’s not contracted very often 102 Partly sheltered area near land in which vessels ride at anchor 103 Petty officers on police duty while a ship is in port

24 26 29

First-class mail subscriptions are $119 for one year, and most issues at this rate will arrive 1-2 days after publication.

48 52

76 81

OPERATIONS

advertising@okgazette.com 405-528-6000

OPERATIONS & MARKETING MANAGER Kelsey Lowe

STAFF REPORTERS Jacob Threadgill Jeremy Martin Miguel Rios Matt Dinger

PHOTOGRAPHER/ VIDEOGRAPHER Alexa Ace

100

101

102

103

46 Satisfies 47 Suggest 48 Running mate? 49 Standard features of almanacs 51 Department capital SE of Paris 52 Get married, in slang 53 2004 sci-fi thriller inspired by a classic 1950 book 56 Bigeye, on some menus 57 Some sewers 58 Wine components 59 Mother ____ 60 Buzzy body? 61 Like some coincidences 62 French for “twenty” 63 End of many town names 64 Par ____ 65 Is thick (with) 68 Shade akin to turquoise 70 Word after old or dog 71 Longtime dairy aisle mascot 72 What a big sock might make you do 75 Reached maturity 76 Onetime Procter & Gamble product on Time magazine’s list of “The 50 Worst Inventions” 77 ____ Said, 2019 best seller on the #MeToo movement 79 Rare and valuable instruments 80 Like restaurants with three Michelin stars 81 Usurper

DOWN 1 Nobleman above un conte 2 From 3 Dickens orphan 4 One way to stand by 5 Anticipatory time 6 Certain Thanksgiving turkey serving 7 “Nice and rosy” things in the song “Sleigh Ride” 8 Founder of New York’s Stumped? Call 1-900-285-5656 to get the answers to any three clues by phone ($1.20 a minute).

SKULLDUGGERY LANE By Ingvard Ashby

ADVERTISING

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Brittany Pickering bpickering@okgazette.com

D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9 | O KG A Z E T T E . C O M

CREATIVE

MARKETING ASSISTANT Kendall Bleakley ACCOUNTING/ HR MANAGER Marian Harrison

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Phillip Danner ILLUSTRATOR/ GRAPHIC DESIGNER Ingvard Ashby

Order mounted or ready-to-frame prints of Oklahoma Gazette covers, articles and photos at okgazette.yourheadline.com

82 84 85 86 87 88 90 91 92 93 94 96 98 99

Amplifier of radio signals Mild, light-colored cigar German industrial region Dolly in Hello, Dolly!, e.g. Paris’s Place ____ Bastille Neighbor of Lucy and Ricky on I Love Lucy Nanny, in Nanjing Lose sleep, so to speak “Not true!” Schoolyard retort Spa offering Publication whose first ed. took more than 70 years to complete Beat by a whisker “Don’t text and drive” ad, e.g., in brief

3701 N. Shartel Ave. Oklahoma City, OK 73118-7102 PHONE (405) 528-6000 FAX (405) 528-4600 www.okgazette.com

SUDOKU VERY HARD | N° 31135

Fill in the grid so that every row, column and 3-by-3 box contains the numbers 1 through 9. www.printmysudoku.com

Frank Longo, of Hoboken, N.J., is a professional puzzlemaker and editor. He creates the weekly “Premier Crossword” for King Features Syndicate, as well as the Sunday “Spelling Bee” for this magazine. He is the author of more than 150 books of Sudoku puzzles. Today’s crossword is unthemed, which means the focus is on vocabulary that is as lively and colorful as possible, with no other constraint. To construct it, Frank started with the central Across stack, then built outward. The finished puzzle has 122 answers, the lowest number ever for a Sunday Times crossword. — W.S. NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSWERS

Puzzle No.1201, which appeared in the November 27 issue. T R E A C O R S M O T H K E E

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Saundra Rinearson Godwin Christy Duane Chris White Dustin Testerman

Odditorium in 1939 9 Like burning rubber 10 Les Aléoutiennes, e.g. 11 House minority leader before Pelosi (1995-2003) 12 Half of a reproach 13 Sitcom/film star who was named People’s “Most Beautiful Woman” twice 14 Staying fresh 15 Chicory variety 16 Topics for fashion magazines 17 Elevator near an arch? 18 Something that can be performed da capo 19 Campus abutting Drexel, informally 20 Beat by a whisker 27 Pal 29 What all NaCl molecules have 30 Persian, e.g. 32 “Yeah, right!” 33 Steinbeck family 34 Blake who composed “I’m Just Wild About Harry” 35 Early employer of Steve Jobs 36 Head residents? 37 Many T-ball coaches 38 Spherical bacterium 39 Not regularly standing 40 Something to drive home 41 Cousins of kites 43 Bird on California’s state quarter

EDITORIAL

CALENDAR COORDINATOR Jeremy Martin

83 85

PUBLISHER Peter J. Brzycki

59 60

VOL. XLI NO. 49

Please address all unsolicited news items (non-returnable) to the editor.

Oklahoma Gazette is circulated at its designated distribution points free of charge to readers for their individual use and by mail to subscribers. The cash value of this copy is $1. Persons taking copies of the Oklahoma Gazette from its distribution points for any reason other than their or others’ individual use for reading purposes are subject to prosecution.

B L A S S

R E L E E

E A T A T

M C A N

A I D E

M A S S E

A C H E S

T A S T E G R E A T

D E E P A A K D A R P O T Y S C T E O B C O R O U S E L V L I A D

T R U D I W P A J U S T R E N O

S P I R T I M E S U P E R P D E I E U A N G B A D G E S P A R K I E R S N E A R R B O R O O N E A O C U N D C K P A S T I C A W L O T S A E B R A N B A T T L I E I E N D N

I C I N G

T O O T I N

N O T U S

G R E G

B S I R E O R S D I N N I O T

S C P R R I I S T T A E U R D A F I N I S K S H F A L A E A A N G O K I N I D E E R G A V T E E

H A S E E C O U N C U B O N I T U D E O N S R T G U E O R F O B M I D S I R T E T A R T H U E R O D A R I G P O O R I E P A E R A G V A D E E T S E

S P I T S N E S T G R E E R E S Q

List your event in

CLASSIFIEDS

JOBS

Herbology is an inviting family of hometown cannabis dispensaries where passionate Herbologists connect customers to the most trusted and effective cannabis products for their lifestyle. We offer a curated selection of high-quality products, personalized service, and a warm, welcoming vibe that invites people to stay longer and return. In addition to selling trusted products, we host a wide range of wellness and educational events to help our customers live a safe, healthy lifestyle. We’re always looking for new talent to join our team and to move our growing industry forward.

CLASSIFIEDS

MUSIC

NOW HIRING OKLAHOMA CITY METROPOLITAN AREA, BRICKTOWN, BROKEN ARROW

APPLY ONLINE AT:

www.myherbology.com/oklahoma/careers

134,070 GAZETTE READING HOME BUYERS

CLASSIFIEDS

JUST SAW THIS AD!

HOMES DAVE’S APPLIANCE REPAIR All makes washers, dryers, ranges, dishwashers, refrigerators, disposals.

24 years experience

314-3191

$25 service calls

WE’RE SOCIAL. LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

AND NEVER MISS A POST

@OKGAZETTE

CALL 528-6000 FOR ADVERTISING INFO

CLASSIFIEDS

ETC.

CONSTRUCTION & AGRICULTURAL EQUIPMENT AUCTION

Late Model Construction & Agricultural Equip., Forklifts, Aerials, Trucks, Trailers, Attachments, Support

WED., DEC. 11 TH @ 9:30AM • OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA ADDRESS: 2400 Exchange Ave., Oklahoma City, OK 73108 (Oklahoma City Stockyard)

HIGHLIGHTS: 7-Pulling Ag Tractors: (6)Case STX450(4x4), JD 9520(4x4), 14-Pull Pans: (14)Reynolds 17CS12, 2-Excavators: 2017 Case CX130D(500hrs), 2012 Doosan DX140LCR, 2-Rubber Tired Loaders: JD 644G, JD 624K, 2-Crawler Tractors: 2015 JD 850KWLT, 2018 Case 650MWT(400hrs), 7-Backhoes: (2)JD 410G(4x4), 2017 JD 310L(4x4), 2017 JD 310 Super-L(4x4), 2017 Case 580N(4x4), 2016 Case 580 Super N(4x4, 600hrs), Case 580 Super-K, Vibratory Roller: 2017 Bomag BW177PDH5, Rubber Tracked Skid Steer: 2017 Case TR340(500hrs), Telescopic Forklift: 2013 Genie GTH1056(4x4), 21-Boom Lifts: 2011 Genie S-125, 2011-2008 Genie S-80, (2)2010-2008 Genie Z-80/60, 2011-2007 Genie S-85, (3)2011 Genie S-60, 2011 Genie S-60X, (5)2008 Genie Z-60/34, 2012 Genie S-40, (3)2011 Genie Z-45/25RT, 2-Scissor Lifts: 2011 Genie GS-5390RT, 2008 Genie GS-4390RT, 5-Air Compressors: (5)2011 Sullair 185, Flatbed Truck: 2007 Ford F250 RC Flatbed, 4-Truck Tractors: 2007 Mack CV713, (3)2005 Mack GU713(t/a), 3-Vac/Winch Truck Tractors: (2)2007-2005 Mack CV713(Fruitland pump, Rufnek winch), 3-Vacuum Truck Tractors: (3)2005 Mack CV713(Fruitland pump), 4-Truck Tractors: 2007 Mack CV713, (3)2005 Mack GU713(t/a), 6-Pickups: 2008 Ford F350, (2)2008-2007 Ford F150, 4-Scrap Recycling, 4-Pressure Washers, 25-Attachments: (25)Skid Steer, 60-New Support. Go to WWW.LYONAUCTION.COM for more details

SALE SITE PHONE: (315) 633-2944

ALEX LYON & SON

SALES MANAGERS & AUCTIONEERS, INC., BRIDGEPORT, NY 13030

Submit your listings online at okgazette.com or e-mail them to listings@okgazette.com. Sorry, but phone submissions cannot be accepted.

Phone: (315) 633-2944 • Fax: (315) 633-8010

O KG A Z E T T E . C O M | D E C E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 9

Every business advertising in this issue pays more tax than Amazon. Shop 100% local this holiday season.