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FREE Winter 2014
Do I Have Your Consent? 21 Questions To Jump-Start Conversation With Your Kids Why You Must Include More Sleep In The New Year
A to Zen For Teens When A Parent Gets The Flu Fabulous Family Photos
okanaganchild
Winter 2014
Volume 2, Issue 4
articles
4 Fabulous Family Photos 6 21 Questions To Jump-Start Conversation With Your Kids 7 Why Dance At Creator’s? 8 Do I Have Your Consent? 10 A to Zen For Teens 12 How To Make Chocolate Dipped Valentine’s Pretzels 14 Why You Must Include More Sleep in the New Year 15 When A Parent Gets The Flu 17 Winter in a Waldorf School 18 Scouts Canada 10 Winter Survival Tips 20 Celebrate Valentine’s Day For Less
Cover photo courtesy of
www.everydaylittlemoments.com
every issue
3 Editor’s Note
1 Resource Directory 2 22 Daniela Ginta
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Contributors: Malia Jacobson Lara Krupicka Sara Dimerman Sue LeBreton Gayla Grace Lisa Nord Seplak Carol J. Alexander Jackie Koffman Cedar Bridge School
Editor-in-Chief: Creative Director:
Kerri Milton Bev Tiel
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Okanagan Child is published four times per year by a couple of busy moms. Please note that this magazine is solely funded through the support of our advertisers and sponsors. Please support our advertisers! Opinions expressed in this publication may not necessarily reflect those of the Publishers. All contents copyrighted©. No part of this publication may be reprinted, quoted, copied or reproduced without the express written permission of the Publisher.
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editorial note What a great year we have had with everyone at Okanagan Child. Bev and I I have celebrated our second year as owners/publishers and we could not be happier. Every year brings us new ideas, new challenges and excitement for what we are going to do in the New Year. We know this is a busy time for everyone, with school plays, piano concerts, Christmas and in our family we have birthdays to celebrate as well. With everything you have going on in your family remember to pause for a minute look around at the chaos and smile - because it is within this chaos that we have such joy as parents. Our columnist Daniela has a great article this edition on not following the “rules” of parenting, we need to educate ourselves then ultimately do what is best for our families and children. Carol Alexander reminds us Valentine’s Day is about time together and how to have dates for less money, and Malia Jacobson helps us get great holiday pictures to celebrate the moments. This edition we wanted to keep our teen experience going and Sue LeBreton, gives some good examples of how to give our teens more peace in their crazy and demanding lives. As parents we are pulled in all kinds of directions for many different reasons, so its easy to forget that our kids are as well. Sometimes we need to get them to open up and talk about what is going on in their lives, so Lara Krupicka has some great ideas of different ways to “jumpstart” conversations with our children. If your family loves winter and enjoys skiing or snowboarding, we also have an article from Scouts Canada to keep our kids safe during winter camping. If you get any downtime during the winter holidays take a moment to sit back and reflect on all the things that you have accomplished this year - you will be surprised....it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day, we forget all the amazing things we have done as families. Thank you to everyone for your feedback throughout the year, we love keeping in touch with you and look forward to more exciting things throughout the coming year. From our families to yours we wish you a wonderful Winter Season with all the fun snow can bring and we look forward to an exciting 2015....
Kerri Editor-in-Chief
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Fabulous Family Photos! Pro Secrets for Best-Ever Holiday Pics Looking to upgrade your ho-hum holiday family photo? Maybe you’re searching for a few fresh poses that don’t involve parking the brood squarely on the sofa. You might be dying to depart from boring black clothes for this year’s photo, but too tired to pull together coordinating trendy togs. Or perhaps you just want your on-the-go toddler to sit still long enough to for you to click the shutter (bonus points if he’s actually looking at the camera!). Before you yelp “Enough!” and start doctoring last year’s photos in an attempt to pass one off as brand-new, read on for pro tips to help make this year’s holiday photo shine. Get Inspired Give your creative process a jolt via the online inspiration-hub Pinterest.com. Search for “holiday family photos” to peruse striking family shots featuring unique props, non-standard locales, and distinctive poses. Create your own pinboard of inspiring images—and don’t forget to share your favorites with your photographer (even if it’s your neighbor).
by Malia Jacobson
Color Wheel Dressing everyone in perfectly color-matched duds does little to showcase family members’ unique personalities, says Maui family and wedding photographer Karma Hill. For polished pics, think ‘coordinate,’ not ‘match.’ “It’s like decorating a room,” says Hill. “You don’t use one color—you choose different colors that work well together.” For traditionalists, photographer Emily Johnston of Pix by Emily in Gilbert, Arizona recommends working a singular bright tone into each person’s outfit in a different way—like a red tie for dad, a red scarf for mom, and red sweaters for the kids. For a trendier look, pick a variety of colors within a similar family, like jewel tones, yellows, or gray hues from heather to charcoal. Accessory Appeal “A few fun, bold accessories add sharp details that make your pictures pop,” says Johnston. “Things like a flower headband for a little girl, a long layered necklace for mom, bright earrings for a teen girl, a fedora for a boy, or a large wristwatch for dad.” Bonus: Letting styleconscious kids choose a few hip accessories helps ease the sting of having to don parent-selected portrait attire. Prime Time Planning for a family shot right after naptime or right before dinner is a recipe for disaster. Children are difficult to photograph under the best of circumstances, and if they’re tired or hungry, you’re not likely to get the shot you want (unless a “screaming kids” photo is what you’re after!). “If you have very young children, time photos when they first wake up from a nap or first thing in the morning after breakfast,” says Hill.
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Light Right Lighting determines your photo’s quality and mood, and muddy lighting spoils an otherwise stellar shot. “Open shade”—a patch of shade surrounded by light—is ideal, says Hill. Avoid midday sun or harsh overhead indoor lights that cast unflattering dark shadows under the eyes. Instead, aim for light that streams in at an angle (a condition that occurs naturally in the morning and late afternoon). And beware the unneeded flashbulb: “Using the flash lends unnatural color to skin,” says Hill. “With good natural light, there’s no need for it.”
chalkboards with a festive word like “Merry,” “Happy,” and “Joy,” or a square sign with the family’s last initial. A string of glowing Christmas lights is a prop with endless possibilities: try winding it gently around kids’ feet or letting toddlers explore the twinkling strand while you snap away. Divide and Conquer If the Holy Grail of family photos—all kids looking at the camera and smiling simultaneously— proves elusive, don’t lose hope. Snap individual photos of each child and have a friend or neighbor take a photo of mom and dad together. Use photoediting software or a pre-made holiday card template with multiple photo openings to create a personalized photo collage. Perfectly Yours
Get Some Perspective Ready to rise to the occasion? Photographing from up high (or down low) makes for surprising angles and interesting, frame-worthy photos. “For fun, unique perspective, get on the floor to photograph your kids at their level,” says Johnston. Steer clear of the dreaded double chin on adults by stepping on a chair or stepladder and shooting from above. Explore Aperture Your camera’s aperture setting determines its range of focus; a lower aperture number puts the focus on the subjects and blurs the background. If you have a camera that has aperture priority mode, use it!” says Hill. This mode lets you adjust only the aperture without fussing with the camera’s other settings. Prop Shop Props—objects that add meaning and dimension to photos—are the latest trend in family and kids’ photography, says Johnston. Try including a banner that says “Happy New Year!,” small www.okanaganchild.com
As for that group family portrait you want, it may help to soften your definition of “perfect.” Posed photos may not be your family’s thing—but an afternoon spent doing something you enjoy, whether it’s cooking, surfing, or horseback riding, could yield pure photo magic. Match your photography goals to your family’s unique taste and temperament, and you’re sure to score the mantle-worthy shot of your dreams. Malia Jacobson is a nationally published freelance writer specializing in parenting.
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21 Questions to Jump-Start Conversation With Your Kids by Lara Krupicka
6. Is there anything you missed today? What do you miss about it?
It’s evening. Maybe you’re lucky enough to be sitting around the dinner table as a family. Or perhaps you’ve got a few moments in the car with your child between activities. So you ask: How was your day? But all you get are grunts and shrugged shoulders. Instead you try asking: What did you do in school today? This time you get the customary one-word answer: Nothing.
7. Name something you are proud of.
What’s happening here? You’re simply trying to connect with your child. And while it seems like he’s brushing you off, he may just be trying to disengage from school business. And your questions prevent that. Or he’s so used to the question rolling off your tongue as a form of greeting, that he doesn’t think you expect a real answer.
11. What do you look forward to next week/ weekend/month?
8. If you could be any teacher in your school, which one would you be? Why? 9. If today had a color, what would it be? Why? 10.Who did you sit with at lunch today? What did you talk about?
12. Name something you’re good at now that you weren’t last year. What makes it easier? 13. What’s one thing you’d like to learn to do someday? 14. What’s one thing I could do for you or say to you that would make you feel good? 15. Who do you admire in your class? What do you like about them? 16. When you approach school, who did you look for first? Why?
Rather than push harder for answers to your standard end-of-the-school-day questions, why not try some new conversation primers? Here are 21 ideas to get you rolling:
17. Tell me about one thing you learned today. What makes it interesting?
1. Tell me something that made you laugh. 2. Who did you encourage today? How? 3. Who encouraged you? What did they do? 4. If you had a “do-over” button, which part of your day would you press it on? Why? 5. What are you glad for? 6 l Winter 2014
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If all else fails, try posing this final question and see if your child can begin building the bridge from his side of the conversation: What question do you wish I would ask you after school? Some tips on creating an atmosphere that encourages dialog:
18. What do you hope to do tomorrow? 19. What part of your day do you wish lasted longer? 20. What’s the best thing about your teacher(s)? 21. What don’t most people at school know about you? For fun, write each question on a slip of paper and place in a container near the dinner table or in your car. Each evening pick out a question from the container to ask. Invite your childto add questions of his own to the mix or let him create his own container of questions to ask you. Take turns answering the same or different questions.
- Don’t machine gun multiple questions at your child at once. It`s best to only ask one or two questions to get conversation going. Then stop and listen. - Be prepared to answer any question that you ask. And be honest in the answers you give. You and your child can both learn more about each other and what goes on in your day when you create an atmosphere of safety and openness. - Listen carefully to your child. Reflect back what you hear her say. Acknowledge any emotions implicit in the communication. - Stick with what works. If several of these questions (or new ones of your own) generate more discussion than others, don’t be afraid to go back to them again and again. Just don’t let them become the rote substitution for “how was your day?”
Why Dance at Creator’s ? . We are committed to age appropriate costuming, music and choreography . Our training methods teach children valuable life skills such as diligence, respect, teamwork and creativity . We are a highly-trained, professional faculty who love children and the arts! . We believe all levels of dancers should be celebrated and that it’s important to have FUN so all our students perform for the community in a beautiful year-end production. www.creatorsarts.com admin@creatorsarts.com 250-860-6616 www.okanaganchild.com
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Do I Have Your Consent? by Sara Dimerman Consent. Its a word we’re hearing more often these days. It started gathering momentum shortly after we got wind of a Toronto radio host being accused of involving unwilling participants in sexual acts. Acts that were apparently non consensual. It’s a word that’s been a big part of my vocabulary for at least 25 years, when I began counselling clients. Before I provide any therapeutic help, clients need to sign a consent to treatment form, after reading the parameters of our relationship and what to expect. Most are not unfamiliar with this protocol. But with this word making headlines and coming to the fore, I was reminded again of how important consent really is.
This got me thinking even further about the age at which we deem children capable of giving consent - not only from a legal perspective with professionals but even on an everyday basis with parents. I was especially thinking about the divorced parents who share with me that their child is not happy spending overnights with the other parent only to be told “sorry, but the legal documents say you have to,” and also reflecting on other words we use and the power we exert when insisting that our children do something that they’d rather not.
imposing something against his or her child’s will. I get that there are daily activities that given the choice, most kids would prefer not to engage in brushing teeth, taking a shower, waking up early and going to school, just to name a few. I also get that there are decisions that parents need to make and give consent for on behalf of their children that make them pretty unpopular - “yes, you do need to let the dentist take pictures of your teeth even though it is uncomfortable,” for example. However, I’m thinking that there are also times when we disregard our children’s wishes to impose our own on them, when we might not need to. “You need to wear gloves. I don’t care what you say. Its cold outside” or “you will sit here and eat your vegetables even if you have to sit here all night,” are examples of times when a parent may consider a different approach so that a child feels more in charge of his or her own body. So, instead of insisting that gloves be worn, let your child’s hands be cold as a reminder for next time that gloves might be better worn than left at home. Or, instead of insisting that your child eat everything on his plate and thereby teaching him not to listen to what his body is saying (“I’ll gag if I eat those green beans”), let your child serve himself food from platters on the table. If he sees you eating green beans, I promise there will come a time when he will try one instead of being turned off beans for the rest of his life after being forced to eat them.
If you listen to conversations between parents and their children (yours and mine included), you will no doubt hear lots of examples of a parents 8 l Winter 2014
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force themselves on others nor will they give in because they feel that they have no choice, for fear of the consequences.
Even though these examples might seem trivial when compared to the kinds of acts that the aforementioned host and others have been accused of, the take away message here is this: If you show respect towards your children by acknowledging their desire to be in charge of their own bodies and entitled to different tastes and needs than yours, then they too will not only learn to respect themselves but appreciate you more too. In addition, if you talk with them about choices and allow them to stand up for what they believe in (most of the time), then they will be better equipped to make good choices later in life. So, when they begin dating, for example, they will not
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The silver lining in the dark cloud of talk about non consensual sexual acts is that a somewhat taboo topic is now out in the open. Parents are spring boarding into discussions with their sons about how to respect girls (and others of course) and to their daughters about how to trust their intuitive selves, how to say no and how to speak up until someone listens (even when they’re afraid to do so). I urge you, as parents, to consider what you’re modelling in your own relationships and remain true to what you’re encouraging by being more conscious of how you’re moulding your children into becoming respectful and sensitive to the needs of others by being more respectful and sensitive towards them. Sara Dimerman is a Psychologist, Author and mom to two daughters. For more advice, connect at www.helpmesara.com or on Twitter @helpmesara.
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A to Zen for Teens: 26 Ways to Help Your Teen Find More Peace by Sue LeBreton Does your teen seem more frazzled and stressed than usual? Remember, they have a lot to manage with school, activities, social media, changing bodies and pressure from many directions. Like the rest of us, teens can benefit from more calm in their lives. However, because of where they are developmentally they may not be able to see that they need this. They may also lack the ability to reduce their own stress. Follow these tips below to help your teen find some Zen state of mind.
Stop all Electronics 30-60 minutes before bed. Light from screens impact sleep and teens need sleep more than late night texts.
Acne is a fact of life for many teens. Try not to comment on the latest crop of pimples. Offer to get them some cleansers and creams. If their complexion is a considerable issue take them to see a doctor.
Teach Gratitude. Give your teen a gratitude journal so that they can focus on something positive daily. If they are not a writer, do a daily “what I’m grateful for” with everyone at the dinner table.
Take a deep Breath. Teach your teen to take a deep breath before they respond to an emotional comment. Practice this yourself, at home and at work.
Hugs are important for teens even if they claim not to want or need them. Try to squeeze them in when you greet your teen in the morning, after work and at bedtime. Just maybe not in front of friends.
Cash is something teens desire and many start part-time jobs. The responsibility is good but ensure that the hours your teen is working are not adding too much stress. Let their Door be the boundary to their private space and ask before you enter their bedroom. Close the door if their mess stirs you up. Note if this decreases conflict between you.
Try a Facebook fast. Encourage your teen to fast from all social media, even if only for a day. Talk to them about how it made them feel.
Inspirational reading can offer teens comfort from daily stressors. Share material that has inspired you and perhaps your teen will reciprocate. Learn Juggling. It relieves stress, boosts coordination and increases focus. Maybe you can join in to share the benefits and a laugh. Model Kindness. Show teens how to treat themselves as they would treat their best friend. Praise them when you see them acting kindly to others or themselves. Listen to your teen without interrupting or offering advice. Music is a wonderful way for your teen to unwind. Be receptive to their music choices. If it is too much for you, suggest earphones.
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Say No. Help your teen say no so that they learn how to set boundaries and do not overcommit. Get them Outside. Interacting with nature is good for the body, mind and spirit. It is becoming rare, creating a phenomenon called nature-deficit disorder, coined by Richard Louv in his book “No Child Left Inside.” Pets help relieve stress so encourage your teen to interact with any pets you have. If you do not have pets, can your teen interact with someone else’s pet, say as a dog walker? How about volunteering at the local animal shelter? Is there any Quiet time in your teen’s life? Help your teen schedule down time. Think reading, a nap or a serene space that provides respite for the senses in a teen’s otherwise stimulating world. Reduce caffeine and sugar consumption and teens will likely notice a more consistent level of energy and less agitation in their day.
Encourage Volunteering. It will look good on their college applications and it is a wonderful way to step outside this naturally, narcissistic phase. It is also good for their immune system. Increase Water consumption. A hydrated body has more energy and simply works better, so encourage teens to up their intake of water instead of other beverages. What makes your teen eXtra special? Celebrate and praise their talents often so that they recognize their uniqueness. Find a teen Yoga class. There is a style to suit every personality and the mind body connection this practice brings is invaluable to teens when they are in such a transitional phase between child and adult.
Make sure your teen Sweats regularly for their physical and mental health.
Lack of Zzzs is an ongoing issue for teens because biologically their sleep cycles have changed but the world of school has not adapted to that. So cut them some slack if they sleep in on the weekends. Celebrate that they are listening to their bodies.
Trust your teen with a new responsibility. What is the next logical step they are ready for? A later curfew?
Sue LeBreton is a freelance writer and mom of two teens. A trained yoga teacher, she is always looking for ways to bring more Zen into her family.
Help teens manage Unrealistic expectations so their lives do not become overloaded or their self-esteem deflated. www.okanaganchild.com
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How To Make Chocolate Dipped Valentine Pretzels Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to learn how to make Chocolate Dipped Valentine Pretzels. It’s a perfect gift for Valentine’s Day and a fun family craft. Kids can make them for family and friends. It’s a good project for a fundraising effort too. Who doesn’t enjoy the sweet and salty taste of pretzels and chocolate. You can adapt this recipe to fit any holiday just by changing the decorations. Supplies 20 Pretzel Sticks 1 1/2 Cups Wilton’s Chocolate Candy Melts 1/2 Teaspoon Shortening 2 Cup Glass Bowl Waxed Paper Spoon Valentine Sprinkles Valentine Ribbon Instructions To make about 20 pretzels using Wilton Candy Melts, melt about 1-1/2 cups of melts plus 1/2 teaspoon of shortening in a glass bowl for 1 minute, stirring halfway. I use a Pyrex 2 cup size glass bowl and it works perfect!
placing on sprinkles. For something like the nonpareils or jimmies, I found it easier to put a bowl in the sink and sprinkle the pretzel over the bowl. That way what lands in the bowl can be reused, and what lands in the sink can be rinsed away instead of rolling onto the floor! If you are giving them as a gift, wrap a bundle in a pretty Valentine Ribbon for a beautiful and sweet present. The kids love these for after school, but they would also be great for a party, or even a bake sale! I love these candy covered pretzels with the salty and sweet combo! I can definitely say I will make them again and again! Follow Christina at Mrs. Fox`s Sweet`s, as she shares her adventures in baking and decorating sweets!
If you want to make white pretzels use Candiquikto make about 20 pretzels using Candiquik, melt 6 blocks in glass bowl for 1 minute, stirring halfway. No shortening needed for this. Again, I used a Pyrex 2 cup size glass bowl. After your candy is melted: Hold the pretzel vertically over the bowl and spoon over the melted candy, this is a lot easier than trying to dip. Shake off excess back into bowl. Lay pretzel on waxed paper, immediately 12 l Winter 2014
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Why You Must Include More Sleep in the by Gayla Grace New Year More exercise. A better diet. We hear it all the time, right? Lack of exercise and obesity seem connected to every conversation we hear regarding our health. But what if we’re missing an ingredient to better health? What if we’re ignoring a likely component that contributes to weight gain, lethargy, depression, and even ADHD. Research confirms it--the undeniable value of this missing ingredient: adequate sleep. It’s critically important that children and adults get enough sleep every night. Yet, how often do we choose to ignore the implications of sleep deprivation? How often do we allow our kids to push back their bedtime hour? I’ll be the first to admit it. When my days get hectic or our son’s schedule revs up, sleep is the first to go. I hear people brag about how little sleep they get. I recently read an article titled, “The Sleepless Elite.” Margaret Thatcher, known to sleep four hours a night, once said sleep is “for wimps.” It’s not surprising that we think it’s OK to function on as little sleep as possible. If we’re considering healthy habits, however, sleep needs to be at the top of the list, for us and our children. It plays a critical role in determining if we’re functioning at our peak. And lack of sleep often goes unrecognized in behavior issues. Sleep deprivation can mirror the symptoms of ADHD, particularly in children. Inattentiveness, impulsive behavior, trouble completing tasks, difficulty with organization, and hyperactivity are linked to ADHD but could also be a result of poor sleep or not enough sleep. A study in the Journal of Sleep Research concluded that treating sleep problems in some children might be enough to reduce or possibly eliminate attention and hyperactivity/impulsivity issues. Adults treated for ADHD could also be suffering from sleep issues that are contributing to their symptoms. If you or your child struggle with 14 l Winter 2014
ADHD, consider how the sleep habits in your home might be contributing to it. Sleep deprivation also contributes to weight gain. Low tolerance for discomfort keeps you from making healthy eating choices. It’s easier to grab whatever requires the least amount of effort or a sugar-laden, caffeinated drink instead of a healthier option. Sugary drinks and food make us crave more sugary items, creating a cycle of unhealthy choices. And lack of energy from a sleep-deprived state also keeps you from your regular exercise routine. Nuclear pharmacist Donita Wittenberg, who works an all-night shift for a week every month, confirms the changes her body, and specifically her appetite, go through when she is sleepdeprived. “The week I work the night shift I’m hungry all the time, like my body is craving something-sleep--but I eat instead.” Wittenberg admits to having a more difficult time controlling what she eats the week she’s on the night shift, and says, “I’m thankful it’s only one week a month.” Research confirms the benefits of adequate sleep when trying to lose weight in study after study. Dr. Plamen Penev, senior author of one such study Annals of Internal Medicine says, “If your goal is to lose fat, skipping sleep is like poking sticks in your bicycle wheels. Cutting back on sleep, a behavior that is ubiquitous in modern society, appears to compromise efforts to lose fat through dieting. In our study it reduced fat loss by 55 percent.” That’s a considerable amount on anyone’s scale. Sleep deprivation leads to a host of other unhealthy problems. It can contribute to depression, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, slower cognition, forgetfulness, stroke, heart attack, and other debilitating issues. Our bodies need adequate sleep to function as they should. www.okanaganchild.com
If you’re determined to set healthy goals for you and your child, focus on your sleep habits in addition to diet and exercise. It takes intentional effort to get the sleep you need as a busy mom with kids who often have busy schedules, but why not try it? Sleep more and as a result, reap the benefits of a healthier household.
*How Much Sleep Do You Need? Age Sleep Needs Newborns (0-2 months) 12-18 hours Infants (3-11 months) 14-15 hours Toddlers (1-3 years) 12-14 hours Preschoolers (3-5 years) 11-13 hours School-age children (5-10 yr) 10-11 hours Teens (10-17 years) 8.5-9.25 hours Adults 7-9 hours *Source: National Sleep Foundation Freelance journalist Gayla Grace is a wife and mom to five children in her blended family. Despite a busy schedule, she tries hard to get adequate sleep!
When a Parent Gets the Flu: Six Tips to Survive the Season Winter is a wonderful time of the year with the joy of holiday traditions, family gatherings, and travel. It is also the time of year when germs abound. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention flu activity peaks during the months of December, January and February. So what happens if you get the flu? As a busy parent you don't have time to take a sick day. So here are six ideas to help you get through the day and the season. Ask for Help Taking care of yourself is the top priority so you can get back to the business of caring for your family. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Have your spouse come home early from work, or even better, take the day off. If you have family nearby, enlist the help of your mom, dad, a sibling or grandparent. Ask them to come over for a few hours or an entire day so you can get some rest. If you don't have family nearby, pay it forward www.okanaganchild.com
by Lisa Nord Seplak
with a neighbor or friend. Help them out when you can, and then ask for help when you need it. Stock the Cupboard Keep supplies on hand so you're prepared to take care of yourself. That way you can avoid an extra trip to the grocery store. Good staples to stock include your favorite soups, saltine crackers, bread for toast, tea and 7up. Be sure to have extra boxes of tissues and a pain/fever reducer like Ibuprofen or aspirin in your cabinet. Also include cough syrup, throat lozenges, and vitamin C and anything else you like to help relieve your symptoms. Simple Foods for the Kids Keep some easy to prepare foods on hand for your kids to eat. Items like cheese and crackers, applesauce, macaroni and cheese, whole wheat bread with their favorite fillings for sandwiches, raisins and hard boiled eggs are nutritious and
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easy for kids to fix themselves. And be sure you're stocked with their favorite cereals. Keep these ingredients on hand for quick and easy dinners: pasta and sauce, chicken fingers, and cheese and tortillas for quesadillas. Keep the Kids Entertained This can be tricky; you need your rest but your kids want your attention. Try stocking a craft box to keep little hands busy. Let them create masterpieces with white paper, construction paper, paper plates, tissue paper, egg cartons, stickers, colored pencils, crayons, glue sticks, feathers and play dough. Keep a shelf of their favorite books within reach. Include coloring, puzzle and pop-up books. Consider downloading a new book onto your Kindle or iPad. And if your family watches little or no TV, now might be the time to reconsider. Let your kids watch their favorite TV shows or discover some new ones on PBS. If you have a children's movie you've been saving, now's the time to pop it in the DVD player. Hang with Your Little Ones If your kids don't want to leave your side, try these ideas. Rest on the couch while your kids play on the floor next to you. Grab some books and have your kids read to themselves or to you while you rest in bed. Or have them make up their own stories to tell you. Relax while they entertain you with a puppet show of their own creation. Arrange a bunch of pillows and blankets on the floor to make a fort or a comfy nest.
Try these eight tips to stay healthy during cold and flu season: 1. Eat a healthy diet that includes whole grains, fruits, vegetables and protein. 2. Maintain a moderate exercise schedule, like a daily walk or outside play with your kids. 3. Try to avoid close contact with those who are coughing and sneezing. 4. Wash your hands often and avoid touching your face. If soap and water aren't available, use an alcohol based hand sanitizer. 5. Drink plenty water. 6. Get enough rest, seven or eight hours of sleep a night, if possible. 7. Get a flu shot. 8. See your doctor when necessary. If you keep your immunity up, when you do get sick you'll recover faster
Write It Down Keep a list of emergency numbers at the ready for yourself or a caregiver. Write down instructions about your kids' food allergies or medications. Include school and activity schedules. If you have pets, write down the details of their care. And don't worry about chores, laundry or baths, these things can wait. With a little advance planning, you can take a sick day, maintain your sanity and have your family survive. And you'll be back to being well in no time. Lisa Nord Seplak is a freelance writer and mom who manages the occasional sick day. 16 l Winter 2014
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Winter in a Waldorf School:
Celebrating the Yearly Emergence of Our Own Inner Light In the Northern Hemisphere, we are moving into the stillness of winter. Since ancient times, winter has been seen as a time for looking forward to the return of the sun, new growth, and light of spring. At Cedar Bridge School, we celebrate our inner light with festivals to remember that which lights the darkness of the season. Not only do we reflect on the changing of the season, we look to our traditions, histories, and cultures to remind us of our past to strengthen and prepare ourselves and our families to move into the growth and beauty of spring. Martinmas Lantern Walk Martinmas has been called the “festival of compassion.” Based on the story of St. Martin of Tours, a Roman soldier who abandoned his position of high rank and wealth to devote his life to serving the poor, this festival invites us to follow the lantern light through the gathering darkness, joining with others who also have chosen the way of compassion. The Hindu Diwali “festival of lights” also takes place around this time. At Lanternfest, at Cedar Bridge School, we meet in the twilight forest, lighted by the lanterns the children have made during school time and listen to the story of Martin by a crackling fire. The story is enacted by the magical firelight, performed by our grades students or community members. We then join together for song and fellowship with our neighbors.
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Winter Garden The Waldorf “Winter Garden” coincides with the beginning of the Christian observation of advent (four weeks preceding Christmas) and the Jewish festival of Chanukah, the celebration of the miracle of the oil lamp in the temple which continued to burn even though its oil had run out. In the Winter Garden, the children traverse an evergreen spiral, to light a candle from the source, deep within the center of the spiral. As we approach the darkest day of the year, we must search for that inner light and strength to sustain us through dark times. Cedar Bridge School families participate in the Winter Garden in December each year.
http://www.cedarbridgeschool.org info@cedarbridgeschool.org
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Scouts Canada’s 10 Winter Survival Tips for an Unforgettable Winter Camping Getaway
Snow, ice, below zero temperatures and lots of
shoveling can bring about dreams of flying south and indoors activities. Rather than hibernate through the duration of the season, why not embrace the winter and enjoy all it has to offer? Scouts Canada’s youth flock to campgrounds in the winter to enjoy everything Mother Nature has up her sleeve. These young outdoor experts know that the best way to fall in love with winter is to be prepared. Scouts Canada has 10 winter survival tips for a safe and unforgettable winter camping experience. 1. Think onion Onions have layers! Layering is important. Having the ability to get in and out of layers easily will help you to regulate your body temperature and avoid sweating. 2. Be prepared Camping in the winter requires greater caution than in other seasons. For example, hazards may be hidden under the snow. Be cautious on ice, especially near running water. Always pack essentials, such as an emergency kit, water and snacks.
3. Keep everything covered Wind chill can make or break any outdoor activity. Stick to sheltered areas. Any exposed skin results in a significant amount of body-heat loss. Waterproof material is key. Purchasing a quality pair of boots, parka, mittens and hat is best for keeping warm. 4. Check the weather Winter conditions can be tricky and snow squalls are dangerous. Weather can go from cool to cold very quickly, especially when the sun is setting. 5. Snow blindness Sun reflecting off the snow strains your eyes, causing nausea and headaches. Wearing sunglasses will help reduce glare off the snow. 6. Always bring a friend By sharing the adventure with others, you can combine food and gear, and you’ll have support if you have an emergency.
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9. Share your plan Let others know where you’re going, and when you plan to be back. A good online resource: https:// www.adventuresmart.ca/tripplan/tripplan.php 10. Cotton kills Cotton fabric is made from a plant, so it soaks up water and holds on to it. Wearing cotton in the winter will make you wet and cold. Try to dress in wool or synthetic layers from head to toe, and from your base layer to your outer layer. Go ahead, unleash your inner adventurer, load up your gear and travel into the great white north this winter! 7. Stay hydrated With all the clothing on your back and trucking through the snow, you expend loads of energy and your body needs water to function better. Dehydrated people are more likely to get hypothermia. A good Scout tip: store your water bottle upside down in your pack; water always freezes from the top.
Jackie Koffman Publicist : holmspr.com Scouts Canada
8. Eat Have a proper breakfast to start the day off right and carry plenty of food with you. Eat protein bars, hearty soups, chili… Calories are needed for your body to create heat.
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Celebrate Valentine’s Day for Less by Gayla Grace I counsel young people in love to schedule their weddings on any day but Valentine’s Day. Why? Because when money is tight, it’s a hard thing to celebrate your wedding anniversary on the most expensive night of the year. After all, when reminding your partner she is loved, some things have come to be expected—flowers, dinner, and chocolate for example. But after many years of celebrating our wedding anniversary on February 14th, my husband and I have found a few tricks to expressing our love and devotion for less. Flowers—With a dozen red roses approaching the $100 range for this holiday, it’s time to look for alternatives. If your girl swoons over flowers, she’d probably love a potted plant just as well. I recommend African Violets. Although red roses mean “I love you” in flower language, a blue violet means “I’ll always be true.” Not to mention that, for a $10 investment the violet will last for years—the roses, a week at best. Dinner Out—Couples appreciate dinner out for several reasons: you don’t have to work in the kitchen to prepare the food, you have time alone without the distraction of children and the atmosphere is conducive to eye contact and heart-to-heart conversation. But the price tag? Ouch. Well, who says that a romantic dinner has to take place in a restaurant? Get a rotisserie chicken from the grocery with a couple of sides; even Chinese take-out costs less than the $70 plate you will find at a fine restaurant on Valentine’s Day. Send the children to a sitter’s, set the table with your finest, light a few candles, and bask. For a more casual atmosphere, spread a blanket in front of the fireplace and picnic on the living room floor. You could also dine at home with the family and then go out for dessert. You still get the time alone, the treat of going out, and only spend as much as a piece of pie and coffee would cost.
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Chocolate—Is the love of your life also a lover of chocolate? Don’t break the bank on a box of fine chocolates. Scoot over to the grocery and plunk down a buck-forty-nine for a box of brownie mix. Get the kind with chocolate syrup or chunks in the mix. It will only take 10 minutes to whip her up a pan of brownies. Invest a few more dollars for a lovely, new plate (one she will cherish forever), arrange it attractively, wrap in plastic wrap, and tie with lots of curly ribbon. Add a mushy card with a love note you pen yourself and you will be her hero forever. The Weekend Getaway—Have you checked the price of a hotel room lately? Whoa. Don’t even ask about the B&B. If you, like me, have trouble plunking down your hard-earned cash for a place to lay your head, be creative. Call around. Some motels are much less. Ask for discounts. I once asked a hotel clerk if she had any less-costly rooms and she immediately knocked 10% off the rate. Perhaps you qualify for an association discount of some kind. Or, ask yourself who you know that owns a cabin in the woods, a beach house, or even a camper or motor home that you could use. Most folks are more than happy to know their second residence is being used and cared for. Keeping the spark in your relationship requires more maintenance than a yearly date on Valentine’s Day. Yet regular date nights can get expensive. Try some alternatives like walking, borrowing movies from the library to watch at home, or going out for coffee instead of a meal. Remember that it’s about spending time with the other person, not what you do in that time. Freelance writer Carol J Alexander looks forward to celebrating 29 years of marriage with her husband this Valentine’s Day in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. www.okanaganchild.com
Resource Directory This Issue Brightpath Early Learning & Child Care www.brightpathkids.com 250.860.9788 Kelowna 250.452.6866 Westbank
Breastfeeding Clinics / Support
Cedar Bridge School www.cedarbridgeschool.org info@cedarbridgeschool.org
Childcare Resource & Referral Kelowna Child Care Resource & Referral #4 - 1890 Ambrosi Rd. Kelowna, BC 250.762.3536 www.childcarechoices.ca
Creator’s Arts Centre www.creatorsarts.com admin@creatorsarts.com 250.860.6616 grobag by oyaco www.facebook.com/oyacoproducts www.oyaco.com The world famous baby sleeping bag hautemama www.hautemama.ca 1.866.615.3800 Maternity, nursing and beyond Okanagan Foster Parents Assn www. okfosterparents.ca information@okfosterparents.ca Penticton Bereavement Centre www. pentictonvereavementresources.com 250.490.1107 Sesa-Woruban Counselling Services www.sesa-woruban.com 778.476.2530 Tot to Teen Expo www.tottoteenexpo.com February 7-8, 10am - 5pm @ Parkinson Rec Centre $5 Admission/Kids Free
Front Cover Photographer
Everyday Little Moments www.everydaylittlemoments.com
www.okanaganchild.com
Okanagan Breastfeeding Coalition 330 Ellis St., Penticton, BC www.okanaganbreastfeeding.org
Penticton Child Care Resource & Referral 330 Ellis St., Penticton, BC 250.492.2926 www.kelownachildcare.com Vernon Child Care Resource & Referral 3300- 37th Avenue, Vernon, BC 250.542.3121 www.ccrrvernon@boysandgirlsclubs.ca Midwives and doulas Doula Services Association, BC 604.515.5588 www.bcdoulas.org Midwives Asscoation of BC 604.736.5976 www.bcmidwives.com Alternative Schooling
Cedar Bridge www.whywaldorfworks.com 250.547.9212 Kelowna Waldorf School www.KelownaWaldorf.org 250.764.4130 Mind Over Learning www.mindoverlearning.com 250.860.0084 Summerland Montessori School www.summerlandmontessori.com 250.494.7266
Public Health Services/Nurses Kelowna Health Unit 1340 Ellis Street 250.868.7700 Penticton Health Unit 740 Carmi Avenue 250.770.3434 Rutland Health Unit 155 Gray Road 250.980.4825 Summerland Health Unit 12815 Atkinson Road 250.404.8050 West Kelowna Health Unit 160 – 2300 Carrington Road 250.980.5150 Vernon Health Unit 1440 – 14th Avenue 250.549.5700 Salmon Arm Health Unit 851-16th Street NE Salmon Arm BC 250.833.4100 Osoyoos Health Centre 4816 89th Street Osoyoos, BC 250.495.6433 Oliver Health Centre 7139 - 362nd Ave Newlands Rd Oliver, BC 250.498.5080 Pleasant Valley Health Centre 3800 Patten Drive Armstrong BC 250.546.4700 Photography & Portraits
Bobbi Sloan Photography www.bobbisloanphotography.com 250.689.2475 Carly Blake Photography carlyblakephotography@live.ca 250.469.2070 Winter 2014 l
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When it Comes to Parenting, Rules Need Not Apply by Daniela Ginta It was early in my motherhood journey that I sensed that previous knowledge gleaned from other moms will only take me so far. My oldest son was two months old, loved to fall asleep nursing and I loved it too. Fully enraptured by the deep feeling of joy while holding my son, I could not make peace with having him anywhere far from me.
Many an adventure later, a new baby joined our family. After almost four years of one-onone with my firstborn and a failed preschool experience, I decided to have my youngest skip preschool all together. It was to become, in my opinion, our only chance at one-on-one for that time. In other people’s opinion was a missed chance to socialize with peers in the same age group. Contrary to my failed baby sleep experiment, I did not flinch this time. Knowing better, I shrugged and said ‘Be it so’ while carrying it on with our plan. We spent time with friends – our combined peers of all age groups, so no base was left uncovered, and we spent time together doing all the things we wanted to do: from painting plates, to making clothes for baby sharks and combing through many rain-generated rivulets.
I was entering the insolvable debate of baby sleeping: crib or co-sleeping. The crib held pillows and some hand-me-downs for later, but wellwishers pressed for making it the baby’s bed, as intended by the manufacturer, rather than a storage space.
Life could not be better and time could not have been better spent. It was not smugness that made me feel that way but the feeling of being at peace while knowing that we took a different approach. It was not about who was right and who was wrong, but rather understanding what made it right for us as a family and for my children.
I resisted pressure until I was told sleeping with my baby is rather selfish since I was priming him for poor sleeping habits. Nothing like a good old trip to sway a mom’s thoughts. I caved, only to return to my senses the same afternoon after watching my baby cry for ten minutes before finally falling asleep. His face looked sad and unsettled, unlike his usual peacefulness as drifted to sleep close to me.
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In other words, it’s about finding that one star among many shining in the sky, the one star that you can call yours and follow; your own parenting voice. Finding it is a bit of a catch 22: You’ll find it if you trust you will. No parent is born without.
We strolled through woods and picked up countless leaves and sticks and pinecones, and not thought for a second that we’re missing out on anything. People kept asking about that decision and many others. I left behind some of the jitters and the answers came smoother every time. Mistakes included, that is, because how else do we truly learn… Parenting creates a certain degree of jitteriness one could say. As every worthy journey worth its salt, parenting offers occasional forks in the road and the said jitters can make for an interesting solution finding process.
And although the journey may get treacherous at times – teenage years did not earn their reputation for nothing – there is an added element that helps as children grow: communication. In the process of teaching your children how to listen, you will have to model it for them by listening. In the process of continuing to make decisions using the voice inside that only you can hear, you will realize that parenting is as much a journey of growing as it is of raising those who depend on you.
Daniela Ginta, MSc Freelance writer www.ThinkOfClouds.com about.me/DanielaGinta
How to then, you may ask, and what to do with all that was said and done about parenting until now? Don’t throw it out yet; in fact, don’t stop reading parenting books, or talk to others in the same boat about it. Being a parent does not make you a lone traveler having to find and follow your lone shining star in a sky of many. Parenting takes pondering over facts and pieces of advice from many others, but stopping at that makes for many battles with your own thoughts, and many struggles with your child as she grows into herself – a unique individual that requires unique parenting skills. Parenting means listening to the inside voice that sprouts from that invisible, hard-to-prove but clearly existent gut feeling.
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