Through his business, JT Tran hones the art of seduction and encourages shy Asian men to develop confidence and communication skills.
race affected dating. And if it does, what does one do about it? Do Asian men really need a specific Asian dating coach? Yes!” he says. “The issues that Asian men face are different from what Caucasians face.” According to the Pew Research Center, three in 10 Asian newlyweds in 2008 married outside their ethnicity or race. Within this category, the rate of out-marriage among female Asian newlyweds was twice that of male newlyweds.
identity as the “Asian pickup artist” entails a negative connotation. Some may view his lessons as gimmicks and presume that pickup artists like Tran are womanizers. However, the founder offers another perspective. “We’re all confident around our friends, but all of a sudden guys get nervous talking to a beautiful girl. In that scenario, he is not being true to himself. He has become someone who’s scared, anxious and unconfident,” Tran says. “We’re simply giving him the ability to be himself in front of her.” The journey doesn’t stop there. Tran refers to ABCs of Attraction as a mechanism of social change and says addressing Asian men’s struggles in the dating sphere touches a larger social issue. One of Tran’s pupils, 23-year-old Ben Junya, moved to California from Illinois less than a year ago after being inspired to pursue greater dreams by Tran’s boot camp. Junya attests to the larger picture and purpose behind ABCs of Attraction. “I learned not just about pickup but how to structure my life, to use my powers for good and not evil, to leave people better than you found them and how you have to improve your lifestyle if you want to attract women,” Junya says of his experience with the program. As a Thai-American, Junya was drawn to ABCs of Attraction because it was geared towards Asian men. He attributes many struggles that
“Even eHarmony rejected me because I was too cerebral and analytical. I realized I sucked with women.” As society reinforces these stereotypes, Asian men are increasingly unable to break out of established labels. According to Tran’s experience, the biggest stereotype women have about Asian men is how they only date within their race. He says that it is based on the psychological concept of heuristics, where women simply do not consider Asian men as potential lovers because of that pre-conceived stereotype. “It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. As Wayne Gretzky said, ‘You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take,’” Tran says. “The mistake is not trying, not putting yourselves out there [and] trying to protect your ego instead of embracing risk.” Nevertheless, it is inevitable that Tran’s
Asian men undergo to their “tiger moms,” and is intent on socializing his children in the future so they will not have to suffer the same complexes many Asians do. “When I go out at night and I see a pretty girl and approach her, she automatically thinks that I’m an asexual creature because I’m Asian,” Junya says. “ABCs really taught me to embrace being Asian and not be afraid to stretch my feathers out and show the world who I am.” Junya’s testimonial points to how the dating issues Asian men face stem from deeper underlying sources shaped by cultural upbringing. Even worse, such fundamental issues are hindrances not only to dating prospects, but also to opportunities in society. To Tran, this realization is especially crucial for college students, who are at a formative stage of their lives. “College students should start to realize that specializing in academic prowess will still leave them handicapped when they enter into the real world,” Tran says. “Confidence in dating women also translates into confidence in the job.” In fact, Tran thinks that college is the time when it will be the easiest to get a date, a girlfriend and subsequently get married. He encourages Asian and Asian-American men in college to solidify their values and identity while they are still able to do so. “If you don’t get the groundwork settled, you’ll suffer from a deficit for the rest of your lives, spending time trying to play catch-up. It’s like compound growth: You want to get your deposit in as early as possible,” Tran says. “You don’t know what the edge is until you step off.”
SPRING 2012 | 21