September/October 2013

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Not of this World September/October 2013

a note from the editor As of now, I’ve been in college for roughly

two months. Before college, I knew what it meant to be a TCK. I had been “schooled,” even, to know how I was supposed to feel; I knew what I should struggle with, what I should excel at. But coming to college changed that. Earlier this month, I guest-posted on the blog Travel Lite (an awesome new blog for MKs!) and explored this topic of what it truly means to be a TCK. As I’ve met other girls over the past few months who have lived overseas, I’ve come to realize that a lot of people haven’t had as much access as I have had to resources for TCKs. And they’re doing just fine. In fact, one girl didn’t even believe me when I tried to tell her “TCK” was a real term. These encounters have made me think a lot about my identity both as and apart from being a TCK. I hope that this issue makes you think about that too - my desire is to always come alongside you wherever you are at in your journey as a TCK. I never want you to feel like you have an eternal disease that requires fixing; I simply hope that Not of this World and other similar resources can point you to your true identity in Jesus and through that encourage you on your path as a TCK.

-Courtney R. I love hearing from you! Send me a note at notofthisworld.r2@gmail.com

table of contents On God

28/29 | Heart of Worship

On Others

22/25 | He Shall Be Their Peace: An Interview

On TCKs 10/11 | Don’t Blame Location 14/21 | Understanding TCK Relationships 26 | 10 Things to Do with a Barf Bag

On Life 2 | Note from the Editor 4 | Product Spotlight 5 | Quote 6/9 | What Is In Your Carry-On? 12 | Pinterest Keeper: Fall Cookies 13 | On Our Bookshelf 30 | From the Blog

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12

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online Bible reading plans for girls

shereadstruth.com

product spotlight

#SheReadsTruth

“The problem with <<<comparison >>> is that you always feel either

better

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worthless compared to someone else.�

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What’s in Your Carry-On?

1. Socks // 2. Ear Plugs // 3. Bible // 4. Homemade Trail Mix // 5. Phone Charger // 6. Change // 7. Fuzzy Blanket

Favorite City Prague, Czech Republic or Hvar, Croatia

Dream Vacation It would be so cool to go across Europe, Russia, and Asia on the Orient Express train! Ok, realistically...I’d love to travel to Norway and see the fjords.

Longest Trip From Czech to Oregon. There can be lots of layovers, since you have to go through at least two or three airports!

Train, Plane, or Car Train. I love looking out the window, and listening to the sounds from the old trains, especially.

Favorite Trip Israel last year. It was absolutely amazing to see the places where Jesus walked and to have the Bible come alive.

Favorite Part of Traveling The new smells and tastes, since those can only be experienced in person. And, of course, making memories with friends and family!

Claire blogs for:

Claire’s Corner

Hi! I'm Claire! I am the daughter of Dave and Connie. I grew up in the Czech Republic. I am a Missionary Kid. My parents serve with Josiah Venture, and I loved getting to be a part of ministry there! I am now at the Moody Bible Institute. I love art, cooking, and baking. I am gluten, lactose and coconutintolerant. I love tea. Dark chocolate is my favorite. Snowflakes make me happy. Sunshine makes me happier. I love Jesus.

e m a l b t n o d location

by Gina Butz

When my husband first told me we were moving to Singapore in 2004, I had to look it up on a map. I had an idea that it was near Fiji. It is not near Fiji. I quickly learned more about our new tropical island home than its location, just short of the equator and connected by bridges to Malaysia. I learned that it was the cleanest, safest, most ef>icient, most af>luent, and most beautiful place I've ever been. What's not to love about Singapore? And yet, through our time there, I met plenty of women who hated Singapore. Couldn't >ind a thing to like about it. Really? How is that possible? It's a tropical island for Pete's sake. You live where people dream of vacationing. The reason was that it wasn't Singapore they hated. It was their circumstances. Singapore just happened to be the unlucky backdrop. These women generally were expat women in transition, uprooted from all they loved, their homes, their families, and dropped into a lifestyle quite unlike what they'd ever known. They were lost, lonely, bored. They probably would have been lost, lonely, and bored in whatever country God dropped them, but they happened to be in Singapore and so it was at fault. I learned two things from those women -­‐ >irst, that every place has its ups and downs, and you have to make a choice to focus on the ups. Second, and more importantly (because truthfully, some places do have fewer ups) I have to separate how I'm doing internally from where I am or I will miss growth. Blaming location misses the real issues. It's easy to say "I just don't like this place. Life would be better somewhere else" rather than to acknowledge and deal with what our circumstances are doing to our hearts. The great news is that sometimes we can't change location, Gina and her family recently returned from 13 but we can always change years in Asia, where their kids were how we look at born and raised. Now living in Florida, they are them. learning how to live life to the fullest back on this side of the ocean. You can read more of her writing on her blog.

t s e r e P int s r e p e e K Pumpkin Cookies with Caramel Icing: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, cream together 1 cup butter and 1/2 cup white sugar and recipe and photography from: 1/2 cup brown sugar. Add 1 egg and 1 tsp vanilla and mix well. Stir in 1 Let’s Dish Recipes cup canned pumpkin. In a medium bowl, sift together 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tbp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg, 1/2 tsp ginger, 1/2 tsp salt, and 2 cups allpurpose flour. Add to the pumpkin mixture and mix well. Bake for 10-12 minutes. To make frosting: In a medium saucepan, combine 3 tbp butter, 1/4 cup heavy cream, and 1/2 cup packed brown sugar. Cook, stirring occasionally, until mixture just begins to boil; remove from heat and stir in 1 tsp vanilla. Cool then stir in 1 cup confectioner’s sugar. Spread frosting over cooled cookies.

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On Our Bookshelf

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

It s Not That Complicated: How to Relate to Guys in a Healthy, Sane, Biblical Way

by Ann Voskamp

by Anna Sofia & Elizabeth

This beautiful book has turned my world of complaining and ungratefulness upside down and then turned it truly right side up. Ann writes in a very different style that really makes her message of specific gratefulness in all circumstances come to life. I have found it very applicable and even in the midst of my busy life, I find myself making time to finish it, which says a lot. -Michaela Frantz

This book calls us to start with Scripture and build up, which could mean having to reevaluate how we treat each and every member of the church, challenging our basic ideas about feminism, killing our Mr. Darcy’s, and taking up responsibilities we tend to avoid. With insight and feedback from the men in their lives, these girls deliver enough practical wisdom to calm your wildest boycraziness and help you develop healthy patterns. -Lizzy Goddard

Shadow of Colossus: A Seven Wonders Novel

by T.L. Higley

Against the backdrop of the ancient Greek island of Rhodes, Tessa of Delos battles for her freedom after a life of bondage and degradation. As she skillfully schemes against the delicate balance of powers, she begins to wonder if she’s truly made of stone like those closest to her accuse her to be, or if she has another chance at life. This fast-paced novel is both entertaining and touching - a great read! -Courtney Runn

understanding TCK Relationships by Courtney Runn

AS I sat down to attempt to write about this complex subject of TCK

relationships, I turned on my Disney Pandora station to set the mood. To many, that might seem odd - Disney, if anything, would typically evoke childhood memories of sitting in front of an old TV on Saturday mornings with siblings. However, when Shang belts out his determination to make a man out of Mulan, my mind travels to watching the Disney classic with TCK friends who grew up in Asia, listening to them talk about the cultural accuracy of the movie. And when Simba is presented to the circle of life, I think of last summer, snuggled between TCK friends on an African safari. These movies - and their soundtracks - are now explicitly connected with TCKs for me. I have watched Disney movies with non-TCKs too, but my experiences with TCKs are markedly different. What is it about TCKs that bonds us together? And what does that teach us about bonding with non-TCKs?

BONDING WITH TCKs First, we’re willing to jump into relationships quickly. TCKs are well accustomed to the fact that with every hello comes a goodbye and, often, they are not far apart. Because of this, we establish deep connections more quickly than many of our peers. I’ve found that after living in Texas for two years, there are still so many people that I only kind of know. I’ve noticed that Americans use activities to slowly form relationships while TCKs dive right into the intimate conversations. Jerry Benson, 18, a TCK who lived in Canada for three years, noticed that after living in a new country, making friends became a “simpler concept.”

“I had realized how pointless and time consuming it was to nervously wait for others to approach me,” he explained. “I almost feel like I had developed a sort of maturity, that allowed me to overpass the trivial roadblocks of friend making.” Though we seem to connect with others well, it’s important to be aware of what one article referred to as “pseudo-intimacy.” In “Ask a TCK Counselor: ‘How do I settle in relationships?’”, Carmen Vaughan notes that, “In the short time [TCKs] have to develop the relationship, they may establish a pseudo-intimacy, based more on the looming reality that they will soon be separated than on actual intimate knowledge of each other.” This does not always have to be the case, however. Our willingness to connect and relate with others is the foundation to a sturdy relationship. But if it stops there, false affinity can strip away any genuine joy. Instead, we must continue to build on this foundation. This explains the second reason why TCKs bond so well: we share common experiences. I think this aspect of “TCKness” is both crazy and totally understandable. I was recently Skyping with my friend, Lizzy, 18, who grew up in East Asia. We have both traveled to our respective continents, but not each other’s adopted countries. I asked her why we understand each other so well, why we became such good friends. Her answer is what most TCKs find true: though we have not experienced the exact same cultures, we share the process of learning a new culture; though we have not experienced the exact same layovers, we share a lot of time spent in airports around the world; though we have not made

all of the same moves, we share the challenges of transition. TCKs share common, not identical, experiences allowing us to understand each other so well. We are also accustomed to change, something many have not experienced, at least not to the extent that we have. Joel Winget, 25, grew up as a missionary kid in Hungary. He described that longing for change is still something he struggles with as an adult. “I don't like change, but I need it,” he explained. “I lived in the same house for 3 years here in Florida and that is the longest I had ever gone without moving. Even living in Hungary for 15 years, we would move houses or travel back to the US for several weeks at a time...I just grew accustomed to the change. It is something I am battling now as an adult, being content where I am.” It is exactly these daily battles that bond us together. Though spread across the globe, we face the same challenges. This gives us the freedom to share our experiences with each other, which is the third connecting factor of TCK relationships.

“TCKs share common, not identical, experiences allowing us to understand each other so well.”

Isabella Bryant, 20, who grew up in England, Japan, Singapore, and the US, said it’s easier to share her overseas experiences with other TCKs than with non-TCKs. “I feel like people can get the impression you're stuck up for talking about places you've lived or traveled to but that's not the case...someone who has lived overseas will understand that you're just sharing your experiences, not bragging,” she explained. Joel agreed, saying that when he shared about his life in Hungary many of his coworkers thought he was just “gloating about [his] ‘fancy’ life.” As TCKs, we have a global outlook and can appreciate the stories of our fellow world travelers. Jerry commented on this, noting, “[After returning to my passport country,] I felt like I was in a whole different world than some of my classmates. I understood things on a very grand scale, and could adapt to different niches easily because of my experiences.” Through our desire to relate, our shared experiences, and our freedom to express our unique stories, we share a special bond. Without explanation, TCKs understand the depth of experience behind a simple encouraging smile, cultural faux pas, or airline horror story. But, picking up a cue from Sir Isaac Newton, for every TCK relationship there is an equal and opposite non-TCK relationship. While this might sound strange, it’s true - relationships with non-TCKs are equally present and important, yet incredibly different from a TCK relationship. So how are we to translate the positive qualities of TCK relationships into our non-TCK relationships?

LEARNING TO CONNECT WITH NON-TCKs First, we have to respect the stories of non-TCKs. When I was Skyping with Lizzy, I also discussed this with her. We’ve both been living in the US for the past two years after previously living overseas. I asked her what she thought about ever being able to truly connect and be understood by a non-TCK. She paused. Then, slowly, she related this gem, “Never underestimate the impact an American peer can have on you.” As I let that sink in, I realized how often we don’t respect people from our passport country. When I moved back to the United States for my junior year of high school, I did not expect to relate well with my peers. I didn’t believe they would understand me, or that we would ever be able to connect well. However, after living in the US for two years now, I realized I was wrong. I can still enjoy and benefit from the company of old friends and new friends even without being fully understood.

“never

It’s also not a one-way street – just as underestimate the non-TCKs might never be able to fully impact an American understand our world, we will never be peer can have on able to understand theirs. We somehow you” don’t believe their lives and stories truly matter and have value because they all take place in one location, but nothing could be further from the truth. Before we hope to share our experiences, we must learn to respect theirs. Second, we have to let go of our pride. In the article “Exploring TCK Bigotry,” Marilyn Gardner perfectly sums up our struggle with this issue when she writes, “We are prone to prejudice and bigotry in our passport countries. This is ironic. That which makes its mark on us with

indelible ink and shouts flexibility, adaptability, maturity and fun is suddenly hidden under disdain and inability to relate to those around us.” As much as I’d like to disagree with Marilyn, I unfortunately have to admit that I do struggle with prejudice. From the world’s perspective, I am far more cultured, well-rounded, and traveled than my peers; I have been to multiple continents, countless countries, and numerous cultures. And yet I struggle with loneliness. I don’t know what it’s like to have a close group of friends and I can’t appreciate how special it is to walk through every stage of life with the same friends because I’ve never experienced that. What I may have gained from scattering my life throughout cultures, I equally may have lost. And what someone may have lost from living in a sleepy, small town their entire life, they may have equally gained. We can learn from non-TCKs and they can learn from us - but not as long as we stubbornly cling to the belief that travel equals success, that living overseas trumps staying in one location, that being a TCK is better than being a non-TCK. Third, we have to search for common ground. As different as we might feel from non-TCKs, we can always find something we have in common, whether it be a love for the same music, a shared appreciation for traveling, or a common religious faith. In “Ask a TCK Counselor: TCK and Non-TCK Relationships: Will They Work Out?’”, Judith Hansen wisely addresses this topic. She writes, “My basic premise is that if we, as TCKs, approach the world looking at how much we have in common rather than how much we differ, would go a long way in resolving some of our relational difficulties. We would see that everyone longs to be heard,

understood, be in relationship, have friendships and feel valued. With that in mind then, as we look for opportunities to establish common ground, we will find the world to be a richer place.”

As you move forward in your TCK journey, let me encourage you that you will find lasting and genuine relationships with both TCKs and non-TCKs. Don’t let your unique upbringing hinder you from relating to and enjoying the company of peers from your passport country but also learn to appreciate the beautiful friendships that do result from shared overseas experiences. As Judith writes, continue to appreciate and respect others and you will find the world to be a richer place. And you might even find some new Disney-watching friends.

originally published on Denizen Magazine, an online magazine dedicated to today’s Third Culture Kid

He Shall Be Their Peace an interview with Lacey Mai

his fall, Lacey Mae Boswell embarked on a journey across the world. After doing mission work in Italy and getting her masters in social work, God called her to Cambodia to be an aftercare fellow with International Justice Mission (IJM). Our generation loves social justice and we have a strong desire to help others, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. To better understand how ministries like IJM help and what we can do, I asked Lacey Mae to share about what led her to Cambodia...

T

What inspired you to go to Cambodia?

I would have to say that it was more about the focus rather than the place. I was seeking to be a part of God bringing justice as we are called to be agents for His will. Jeremiah's message about this is compelling. Chapter 22 verse 3 reads, "This is what the Lord says: do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place." While taking my Masters Social Work degree, God called me to use my professional skill set for bringing His kingdom among those who are suffering. I heard about IJM through a former Cru teammate as I was beginning my degree and then IJM kept coming up in various conversations with old and new friends. When I finally applied with IJM, I actually applied for a Field Office in India. However, with much work to do on a ten year review of services in Cambodia, I was asked to consider Phnom Penh. I had never really considered Cambodia, but as soon as I started to do so, I heard about it everywhere. The connections were everywhere! To sum all of that up, I followed God's call to use my gifts, but He directed me to Cambodia.

What does it mean to be an Aftercare Fellow?

My job as an Aftercare Fellow is to assist the Cambodian social workers in our office with case management services ranging from immediate healthcare needs to housing to financial skills development to mental healthcare needs. Our staff aim to link clients with third party providers in the area rather than providing the majority of direct care so that when IJM leaves years down the road, clients will continue

1 in 5 women will be a victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime

2 million children are sold annually into the global commercial sex trade

Children below the age of 18 years represent an estimated 26% of all forced labor victims

27 million men, women, and children are held as slaves

75% of slaves are found in just 10 countries

to be connected in their communities. I will primarily review paperwork for the social workers and also provide some training on some of the case management strategies I have encountered as a social worker in the US. I also hope to have some face to face time with the girls, but I will primarily be a support for Cambodian staff so they can continue to grow in their ability to provide culturally relevant restorative services.

How can others get involved?

High school and college students play a valuable and influential role in the fight for justice. IJM is launching chapters at high schools and universities around the world as well as hosting conferences on leadership/advocacy.I would say the biggest thing that students can do is keep their eyes, minds, hearts open to injustice in their towns.

For Middle Schoolers and High Schoolers: host a 24 hour justice experience at your school to educate your peers on the importance and meaning of justice. Learn more here.

For College Students: there are over 100 IJM chapters on US college campuses. Join one of your campus or start your own to spread awareness and raise your voice. Learn more here.

Follow Lacey Mai’s journey on her blog: He Shall Be Their Peace

10  Things  to  Do  on  an  Airplane by  Lizzy  G... Â

1

Mix  your  drink.  The  attendants  always  have  open  cans  on  the  cart.  Create  something  gross  and  see  how  they  react.

2

Collect  barf  bags  for  craft  or  gift  purposes.

3

Make  up  a  soap  opera  story  about  the  >light  attendants  on  your  plane.

4

Swap  snacks  or  meal  items  with  other  passengers  and  strike  up  conversations.  Everyone  loves  to  talk  about  food.

5

Ask  a  :light  attendant  an  interesting  question  about  her  job.

6

Scatter  :light  paraphernalia  on  your  sleeping  travel  companion.  Get  creative  and  take  pictures.

7

Write  raps,  poetry,  or  stories  using  the  phrases  you  see  (“use  bottom  cushion  for  >loatationâ€?  and  the  like)  for  inspiration.

8

Find  pictures  in  the  clouds.  Nobody  said  you  had  to  grow  out  of  that.

9

Write  a  comic  love  letter   or  distress  message  on  a  barf  bag  and  leave  it  where  a  >light  attendant  will  see  it  when  you  exit  the  plane.

10

Snoop  around  the  bathrooms  and  clandestinely  identify  what’s  inside  each  of  the  compartments  in  the  galley,  in  case  there’s  a  sudden  food  shortage,  crew  mutiny,  disease  outbreak,  etc.

take time to watch the leaves change

Heart of Worship: Feathers in the Wind by  Michaela  Frantz Is it just me or are there a million opinions about everything these days?  Bikinis  are  empowering,  bikinis  are  of  the  devil;  hate  the  gay  community,  love  the  gay  community;  abor;on  is  a  right,  abor;on  is  murder;  Chris;an  teens  shouldn’t  be  like  the  rest  of  the  world,  Chris;an  teens  should  be  right  in  the  middle  of  the  rest  of  the  world  to  shine  their  light;  TCKs  have  it  harder  than  everyone  else,  TCKs  live  a  life  of  exo;c  weekend  vaca;ons.  There  are  so  many  people  I  look  up  to,  both  in  real  life  and  online,  but  the  hard  part  is,  they  oCen  have  dierent  opinions.  My  favorite  blogger  might  publish  a  post  that  directly  opposes  Relevant  Magazine’s  latest  web  feature.  My  pastor  might  say  something  that  negates  a  great  quote  from  the  devo  book  I’m  reading.  I  might  argue  with  a  friend  who  says  something  that  doesn’t  agree  with  what  I  learned  in  class  from  my  English  teacher.  The  hard  part  about  the  â€œYou  are  empoweredâ€?  culture  we  live  in  is  that  everyone  feels  that  they  have  the  right  and  the  ability  to  share  their  opinion  (and  loudly!)  about  everything.  While  that  is  nice  for  the  people  doing  the  sharing,  those  of  us  on  the  receiving  end  can  feel  like  we  are  drinking  from  a Â ďŹ rehose. Â

No issue is simple anymore, even within the Chris;an community. Everyone has Scripture to back their opinion up, however weak of an argument they may have. I find myself agreeing with people deep inside my mind and heart, but then doub;ng myself because someone has a verse to prove me wrong. I love reading and wri;ng and I love sharing my opinion, as you have probably no;ced. But I never want to be just another voice trying to win people over to my side of the line between black and white. God knows we don’t need any more of those. I want to be inten;onal with what I read and write, I want it to have a ver;cal purpose. I wish I was beVer at finding the truth for myself instead of leWng other people define it for me. Lately, I’ve decided to simplify the whole process by focusing on two things: following and obeying God to the best of my ability and loving His people uncondi;onally. I feel as if most issues can be resolved with those two statements in mind. Is abor;on loving God’s people? No. Should I reach out to a gay person who is probably facing extreme rejec;on from someone in his/her life? Yes. And the whole bikini issue?? Let’s just leave it up to the Holy Spirit to help people decide for themselves. I can’t even tell you how many ;mes I’ve judged people on both sides of the fence and the judging is really the worst part of it. So let’s just offer grace either way and leave the rest up to the real Judge. Actually, let’s do that for everything. Opinions are feathers in the wind, but God’s truth and love remains firm.

“I want to be intentional with what I read and write, I want it to have a vertical purpose.”

On the blog Recently...

TCK Topic: Reflections on National Schooling

DIY: Polka Dot Wreath

Travel: 10 Things to Do with a Barf Bag

TCK Topic: Visiting Your Passport Country

Coffee Cups and Silhouettes

TCK Topic: Accepting Transition

See you in November! https:// twitter.co m/

https:// twitter.co m/

https:// twitter.co m/

https:// twitter.co m/

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