The Lumberjack - Issue 10, Volume 98

NorthernArizonaNews.com

INSIDE

Opinion: April fools, p 10 Sports: Men’s b-ball, p 20 A&E: Uranium Mining Awareness Concert, p 26

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Issue 10, VOL 98 March 31 - April 6, 2011

State of ASNAU

‘23’ fee promises unfulfilled, executive misuse of power

BY KEVIN BERTRAM & GARY SUNDT

A

s the first year of the recently approved “23” fee comes to a close, some measures have stirred controversy, such as bringing pop singer Ke$ha and Dirt Nasty to campus. Others, including “Snowjack Express,” have been late to start. And at least one — student legal aid — has not been implemented.

This past spring, ASNAU received approval from the Arizona Board of Regents (ABOR) to place a new student fee, known as the “23” fee, on those enrolled at the Flagstaff Mountain Campus. The fee was to be charged per semester — $46 for the year for each student — and was to fund eight mandated, promoted initiatives: student legal aid, student organization funding, study abroad scholarships, the “Spring Fling Carnival,” the “Snowjack Express,” extended Cline Library hours, increased funding for speakers and performers and a new club headquarters.

However, according to public record and a highranking ASNAU insider, problems circle the use of the “23” fee, and there are concerns regarding how the organization has been run during the 2010-2011 academic year.

Only half of ‘23’ fee funds eight original initiatives According to Kathleen Templin, chief of staff and former ASNAU president, all of ASNAU’s total budget of $716,000 originates in the student fee.

“All money for this organization comes from the ‘23’ fee,” Templin said.

However, in a current ASNAU budget, titled “Budget Accounts,” the eight mandatory items — those advertised as being the main benefits of the fee for students — comprise a little over half of the total budget.

Since all of ASNAU has become solely funded through “23,” the government has used the rest of the funds for operating expenses — such as staff salaries, capital improvements, maintenance and office supplies — and senate bills, legislation passed by the ASNAU senate to fund various projects. Prior to imposing the “23” fee, ASNAU was partly financed by the president’s office and managed a budget of $252,769 — nearly a third of the current operating budget.

“We used to be funded by President Haeger’s office,” Templin said. “He used to give us a big chunk of money.”

see ASNAU page 6

Protesters stand in front of the University Union to demonstrate their disagreement with the proposed cuts to Arizona universities’ state aid. (Photos by Talia Green)

Growing dissatisfaction with cuts, tuition rises NAU students protest budget cuts to higher education

BY MIRANDA CAIN

N

AU students gathered outside of the University Union last Wednesday to protest the proposed budget cuts to Arizona state universities.

The proposed cuts would decrease the amount of state aid to all three schools by $235 million. NAU would lose $36 million as a result of the cuts.

Kate Murphy, a member of the Associated Students of Arizona (ASA) at NAU, said the protest was about unity.

“The overall goal of this rally is to empower students,” Murphy said. “All of the things that happened with the budget cuts happened

over spring break, so what we’re hoping to do is get students together so they understand what exactly is happening at the state legislature.”

Wes Enns, media coordinator for ASNAU, said the current budget cuts are similar to the ones the university faced two years — cuts ASA protested.

“I think [the cuts] are very harsh, and they should not be happening,” Enns said. “I think there are a lot better things that can be cut. Education is very important.”

Enns said if the cuts are approved, the university and its programs will be affected. “[We] might have to cut whole departsee ASA PROTEST page 9

ABOR meeting portrays student pleas

BY MARIA DICOSOLA

T

he three Arizona state universities participated in an Arizona Board of Regents (ABOR) tuition hearing via video conference Monday evening. Students, faculty and parents received a chance to express their opinions about the looming budget cuts and tuition increases. The meeting was the last chance for the public to vocally persuade legislators to reconsider the proposed budget cuts, as ABOR is meeting April 7 at UA to set tuition rates for the 2011–12 academic year.

Anne Mariucci, chair of ABOR, hosted the tuition hearing conference call — which was the 19th of its kind — from ASU’s Tempe see ABOR page 4

Go to NorthernArizonaNews.com for daily updates, multimedia packages, extra content and stories before the issue hits the stands.

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PoliceBeat March 21 At 4:49 p.m., a University Union staff member called to report a male subject had opened the door in the restroom on a fellow staff member for unknown reasons.

Officers were dispatched, but the subject was gone upon their arrival.

At 8:35 p.m., a custodial staff member at South Beaver School called to report a window had been broken. The time of occurrence is unknown.

An officer was dispatched, and a report was taken.

At 9:11 p.m., a staff member at Tinsley Hall called to report an odor of marijuana on the first floor.

Officers were dispatched. One subject was booked into Coconino County Sheriff ’s Office (CCSO) Jail for possession of narcotic drugs, two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana, use of marijuana and possession of prescription drugs. A second subject who is not a student was arrested and booked into CCSO Jail for possession of narcotic drugs and use of marijuana.

March 22 At 2:42 p.m., a staff member from the Centennial Building called to report the word “squid” had been spray-painted on the stairway of South Beaver School

Thursday, March 31 Performance by Chase Coleman [7 p.m./Piano Room] Ages 21 and up Flagstaff Poetry Slam [8 p.m./Pita Jungle]

Amateur Comedy Night [9:30 p.m./Smokehouse BBQ Restaurant]

Friday, April 1

BY ELIZABETH BRANDOW

at an unknown time and date.

An officer was dispatched, and a report was taken. All leads have been exhausted, and the case is closed.

March 23 At 2:06 a.m., a subject called concerned about a male subject lying on a bench outside of Cline Library.

An officer was dispatched, and the subject was taken to the Guidance Center for detox.

At 3:32 p.m., a staff member from the Cline Library called to report an intoxicated subject had fallen while sitting in a chair.

An officer was dispatched, and the subject was identified and warned against trespassing on campus.

At 5:39 p.m., a student came into NAUPD to report she had been sexually assaulted by an acquaintance at Sechrist Hall on Feb. 7 at 9:25 p.m.

Officers were dispatched, and the case is still under investigation.

At 8:07 p.m., a staff member from Cline Library called to report the intoxicated subject reported earlier that day had returned to the building and was harassing students.

An officer was dispatched and checked the building but could not locate the subject. No further action was taken. see POLICE BEAT page 3

2 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

Friday Flicks [5 p.m./Flagstaff Public Library]

Performance by The Chop Tops Shop [7 p.m./Cinnabar]

Caregivers Support Group [12:30 p.m./Northland Hospice]

NAU Opera [7:30 p.m./Ardrey Audtiorium]

Bicycle Polo [5:30 p.m./ NAU sports field]

Sunday, April 3 The Gallery Collection [All day/Beaver Street Gallery]

Monday Night Blues [7 p.m./Charly’s Pub and Grill] Karaoke with Ricky Bill [8 p.m./Hotel Monte Vista Cocktail Lounge]

Weekend Picks

Flagstaff Home and Garden Show [10 a.m./Old K-Mart building] NAU Opera [7:30 p.m./Ardrey Auditorium] William Shakespeare Abriged [8 p.m./Doris Harper- White Playhouse]

PERFORMANCE BY THE NAU OPERA

ITO(FRIDAY @ 7:30 P.M. – ARDREY AUD RIUM) ISIR WITNESS A PERFORMANCE OF L’EL E.) LOV OF IR D’AMORE (THE ELIX

PERFORMANCE BY THE SPOKES AND (FRIDAY @ 9 P.M. – CHARLY’S PUB L) GRIL LOCAL EXPERIENCE A PERFORMANCE BY BAND THE SPOKES.

Performance by The Spokes [9 p.m./Charly’s Pub and Grill]

Downtown Farmers Market [8 a.m./Flagstaff City Hall parking lot]

Saturday, April 2

Food Not Bombs [12 p.m./Wheeler Park]

Pinewood Farmers Market [9 a.m./Munds Park Community Church]

Rio de Flag Walk Series [3 p.m./Wildcat Waste Water Plant]

Family Day Climbing [12 p.m./Vertical Relief Climbing Center]

Latino Night [9 p.m./Museum Club] Ages 21 and up

Jazz Night [6 p.m./Speakeasy]

Monday, April 3

Arts for Our Park [8 a.m./Kolb Studio]

Karaoke [7 p.m./Museum Club]

Monday Boneless 40-Cent Wings [11 a.m./Granny’s Closet]

Tuesday, April 4 NAU Film Series [7 p.m./Cline Library] FUSD Governing Board Meeting [5:30 p.m./FUSD Administravtive Center] Two-Step Tuesdays [8 p.m./Green Room]

Jazz Jam [10 p.m./Mia’s Lounge] Ages 21 and up

Wednesday, April 5 Flagstaff Singles [5:30 p.m./Little America] Ages 18 and up Ladies ‘80s [8 p.m./Green Room] Ages 21 and up Open Mic Night [8 p.m./Mia’s Lounge] Walk into Spring [9 a.m./Thorpe Park]

InTheNews from POLICE BEAT page 2

March 24 At 9:04 a.m., a staff member from the NAU Bookstore called to report a subject was yelling and being disruptive.

Officers were dispatched.

The subject was identified, warned against trespassing and told to leave the area.

At 9:36 a.m., a staff member from Parking Services called to report a possible theft of a permit.

An officer was dispatched.

One student was deferred for theft, and another was cited for unsworn falsification. The case is still under investigation.

At 10:32 p.m., the office received notification of the fire alarm going off at Aspen Crossing.

An officer and Flagstaff Fire Department (FFD) were dispatched and found the alarm had been activated because of burnt food, which was still visible upon arrival. FFD extinguished the fire.

At 10:41 p.m., a staff member from Reilly Hall called to report someone was yelling on the second floor for unknown reasons.

Officers were dispatched, and an on-call counselor was called to talk to the subject.

March 25 At 2:22 a.m., an officer pulled over a subject at Allen Hall.

The driver was cited and released for DUI, DUI over .08, underage DUI and a stop sign violation.

At 10:24 p.m., Camps Safety Aides noticed several subjects in a vehicle near Gillenwater Hall with fogged up windows and saw multiple lighter flashes.

Officers were dispatched, and three subjects were cited and released for possession of drug paraphernalia and marijuana.

At 10:39 p.m., a concerned parent called to report his/her son had called home while highly in-

toxicated and believed he had been injured in a car accident near Cline Library.

Officers were dispatched and later found the subject intoxicated near the Performing and Fine Arts building. He was arrested and booked into CCSO Jail for minor consumption of alcohol.

March 26 At 1:21 a.m., a subject called to report five males had set off fireworks outside of Reilly Hall five minutes before calling NAUPD. An officer was dispatched, but the subjects were gone upon arrival.

March 27 At 1:46 a.m., an officer was attempting to contact an intoxicated subject who was running away at the University Union.

The subject was detained, cited and released for minor consumption.

—

THIS WEEK on NorthernArizonaNews.com

— Upcoming News Content —

Today: Students at NAU raise money for Japanese aid Friday: Reaction from UA students to mock border wall at UA, comments from NAU professors and students Monday: Results of ASNAU elections Tuesday: Sustainable landscaping on campus Wednesday: Updates on new Mountain Line bus route

Follow The Lumberjack on Twitter!

Reporters will live-Tweet events, re-Tweet content and provide other information.

Kevin Bertram (News Editor) @krbertram Maria DiCosola (Asst. News Editor) @MariaEmily09 March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 3

InTheNews

NAU participated in an interactive video conference in which students, faculty and regents were able to express their thoughts about the proposed budget cuts. ABOVE: ASNAU President Chase Hunt and Regent representative Jennifer Ginther listen to the presentation. RIGHT: A student addresses the official representatives. (Photo

by Sean Ryan)

from ABOR page 1

campus. The screens were split, featuring all three universities over six screens. Each location, including extended campuses, was designated a regent who sat in on the call.

School presidents received an opportunity to announce their proposed plans if the $170 million in projected budget cuts were to be put into place.

NAU President John Haeger said the school’s Pledge Program, which locks in tuition rates for students for four consecutive years and stabilizes food and housing rates for two years, is helping to mitigate the toll budget cuts will have on students.

“Because of our Pledge Program, which is the heart of our tuition proposal, each and every year we pledge to the students who are incoming to the university a set price for them,” Haeger said. “So in the proposal this year, about 63 percent of NAU Flagstaff undergraduates will see no tuition increase.”

Haeger said that with 31 sites across the state, including two extended campuses, NAU students have lower-cost options that allow them to receive an NAU education for less money than it would cost to attend the Flagstaff Mountain Campus.

Without similar pledge programs, UA and ASU students are susceptible to steep tuition increases for next semester.

According to a packet of graphs and tables provided by ABOR, the cost of UA tuition recommended by the university’s president for undergraduate in-state students for next year is $10,035.

This is approximately a 22 percent increase from the 2010–11 school year.

ASU has different rates for each graduating class, but the recommended tuition rate for the incoming freshman class is $9,716 — 19.5 percent higher than the previous class’s tuition.

However, while none of the schools are particularly grateful for the financial bind, all three presidents remained optimistic about their programs and students. Michael Crow, ASU president, said his school will be adjusting money around to lessen the blow to students.

4 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

“Overall, we’re keeping our tuition adjustments to less than 50 percent of those cuts, and then adjusting our activities for an additional 50 percent or more of those cuts,” Crow said.

Robert Shelton, UA president, said they too are trying their best to keep the budget cuts off the backs of students.

“The University of Arizona’s approach to budgeting fiscal management has consistently been centered on balance,” Shelton said. “The university will absorb $39 million of the $67 million proposed in the governor’s budget. This burden will not be offset by tuition.” Shelton went on to explain that UA will try to offset budget reductions through innovation and efficiency.

After the school presidents announced their proposals, student leaders from each school had an opportunity to talk on behalf of their student bodies. The representatives spoke about how the budget cuts would affect their campuses as a whole.

Once the student leaders were finished, Regent Mariucci opened the floors of each campus to students, staff and parents who volunteered to share their perspectives on the budget cuts. Many of the student speakers explained that with the proposed tuition raises, they would not be able to attend school next semester. Others vouched for specific programs they did not want cut. For example, student employees of UA’s recreational services asked legislators and regents to consider keeping the program because it provides student with jobs.

Chase Hunt, NAU student body president, said he believes the conference was successful because the regents were listening to what the universities had to say.

“I think the regents are for sure listening,” Hunt said. “I actually saw them taking notes. As I know, it was also broadcasted on the Internet and television, so hopefully some of the state legislators and senators were tuning in just to hear stories.”

Although this was the last public interactive video conference, Mariucci said people can still write letters to ABOR.

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March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 5

“

InTheNews

(A)

“I believe the organizational leaders have operated in good faith to set and achieve objectives that served students and student organizations and along with the ASNAU Senate and staff offer activities that enlivened and enriched the campus. Like past years, many leaders have made their share of mistakes. I believe most organizational leaders I have worked with over the past fifteen years have gained new insights from the challenging experience of working in student government and are better people and subsequently better professionals for having done so.”

(B)

Alloted budgets of “Original Eight” mandated uses of ‘23’ fee

(C)

(A) (B)

(D)

(C)

(D)

(I)

”

(E)

(E)

(F)

+ (F)

Along with the passing of the “23” fee, the ASNAU senate approved pay raises for all salaried positions. For example, the position of the president made $4,950 in the past academic year, and pay was increased to $5,440 for the current academic year.

Similarly, the positions of vice president for academic affairs, vice president for student affairs and chief of staff went from earning $3,600 to $4,080 annually.

Templin said the pay raises for each position were necessary to bring ASNAU employees up to campus minimum wage and were encouraged by Dr. Rick Brandel, dean of student affairs.

“Before we received the ‘23’ fee, we were actually making under minimum wage,” Templin said. “When we finally got permanent funding, we wanted to set a permanent salary for everyone within the organization, so it wasn’t really a pay raise. And from what Mary Lou [Galyon, ASNAU administrative assistant] has told me, $8.50 is actually the minimum wage on campus.”

According to the NAU Human Resources website, NAU’s minimum wage was increased to $7.35 in January.

(G)

Student legal aid lawyer still not hired The provision of legal aid for students, including free consultations with a lawyer, was one of the eight mandated items ASNAU had to fund as part of the “23” fee.

To date, the organization has yet to hire a lawyer. Students interested in the service have been turned away. One such student, who requested to remain anonymous, said she was told access to legal aid would not be available for the rest of the semester. “[The receptionist] said their budget wasn’t big enough and they have an amount of money allotted to the lawyer,” the student said.

“The position has been advertised since the beginning of the year, but nobody wants the position. He also said since it’s so close to the end of the year that they probably won’t get one until next semester.”

Hunt said ASNAU has no responsibility for the hire.

“That is actually not through our office,” Hunt said. “That is actually [Human Resources (HR)], Dr. Brandel and Art Farmer (assistant dean of student affairs) who handles that ... They have all the applications now. So HR is working within to hire it, but because it’s an official hire through the university, and it’s a ‘legal’ hire; students are kind of left out of that.”

6 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

(H)

(H)

Spring Fling Carnival Club headquarters SnowJack Extended library hours Study abroad scholarships Speakers Lawyer Organizational allocations

$362,000

Total devoted to “original eight” publicly promoted uses of 23 fee

(I)

Amount left from the $716,000 coming in annually from 23 fee; used for miscellaneous operating costs and senate bills

$354,000

–Rick Brandel, dean of students

from ASNAU page 1

(G)

$25,000 $25,000 $7,000 $85,000 $50,000 $100,000 $20,000 $50,000

Source: ASNAU budget

Templin said bureaucracy is the reason for the delayed hire.

“It took HR a little bit to give us a proposal of what would be a competitive salary and benefit package for this individual,” Templin said.

Hunt and Brandel both confirmed that ASNAU expected HR to hire one of the candidates by the end of the semester.

“There will be someone hired by the end of this year who will be working all next year,” Hunt said. “It won’t be a random person who comes in or a student worker.”

In speaking with HR, it was revealed that the formal posting for the legal aid position did not happen until Feb. 8, nearly 10 months after the approval of the “23” fee. Diane Verkest, the associate vice president of HR, said to be in charge of hiring the lawyer, was unavailable for comment at press time.

Late start for Snowjack Express The Snowjack Express began running vans to the Snowbowl Resort Feb. 19, weeks after the proposed start and months after the slopes opened in the fall semester. Hunt said the delays were owed to problems getting insurance and forms filled out with Campus Recreation.

“It took so long to get started because we were working with Campus Recreation on that,” Hunt said. “That was kind of waiting on them, because you have to fill out the forms and put them online, making sure of insurance and what we had to do. So we had to wait on them just to get it started.”

Andy Bourget, assistant director for Campus Recreation Services, said the organization was first approached in April 2010, just after the passing of the ‘23’ fee.

“It was rough,” Bourget said. “They said, ‘What is it going to cost?

What do you guys think? We’ll weigh out the options and we’ll meet again.’” Bourget said the next meeting for Snowjack Express did not occur until “the second week of February [2011].”

Despite the delays, Hunt said the service provided to students has been a success.

“It took a little longer to get set up, but so far it’s been great,” Hunt said. “We have the forms and insurance, and they are all signed up for next year, so it’s done. So, next year, it should start right up.”

Money spent without approval of Senate Documents from earlier this semester indicate Hunt circumvented protocol outlined in the ASNAU constitution when using funds to promote an on-campus event.

On Feb. 1, Hunt signed a purchase order with The Lumberjack for an advertisement. The total bill of sale on this invoice was $992.50.

“ASNAU” was the listed business name, with Chase Hunt listed as the billing contact name.

According to the Senate Bill (SB) 23-52, the request for funding was made on March 7 — more than a month after the transaction was completed. The ASNAU Constitution clearly states the president requires Senate approval for purchases and expenditures over $500.

On this subject, Hunt deferred comment to Galyon.

“She signs off on that,” Hunt said. “She handles all that, and her signatures are the ones that are on all that.”

Galyon appeared to be unaware of the situation and requested not to be quoted. During the interview with Galyon, Hunt interrupted and, addressing the situation, claimed to have “made a mistake.”

Records indicate that the bill is currently tabled.

“While his actions were genuinely in positive support of ASNAU’s marketing activities for Equality Week, the action is a good reminder that planning needs to occur more timely in the future to insure that the Senate’s approval can be secured in advance per ASNAU’s own guidelines,” Brandel said.

Favoritism among student organizations According to Templin, one of the purposes of the “23” fee was to provide more resources to student clubs and organizations. A Feb. 24 bill from the Men Against Rape and Sexism (MARS) Project requested funding to bring in Dr. Michael Kimmel, a prominent anti-rape activist, to speak on campus. Since its introduction, the bill has been perpetually tabled. On the most recent copy of the bill, a hand-written note reads “Tabled Forever.”

Amanda Bollard, vice president of student affairs for ASsee ASNAU page 7

NAU, said the reason the bill was tabled was to see if funding could come from STACK, another organization that funds student services on campus, including the SafeRide shuttle service.

Kyle Boggs, facilitator for MARS and professor of women’s studies, confirmed ASNAU tabled the bill and STACK provided the remainder of the funding for Dr. Kimmel’s engagement on April 13 in the DuBois Center.

“As I understand it, that’s what it was — STACK had more money, period, than ASNAU,” Boggs said. “And [ASNAU is] careful to use their money in other ways; I don’t know what those are. For whatever reason, they wanted to wait to see if STACK would fund it.”

However, according to the high-ranking ASNAU official, waiting for STACK was not the senate’s only reason for perpetually tabling the bill. The source said it was a particular senator’s intention to table the bill based on the MARS Project’s association with Margo Nelson, a student who has openly objected to “23” fee spending, including the Ke$ha/Dirt Nasty concert.

On the subject, both Hunt and Templin denied the accusations, noting that no one senator can block a bill.

“The only answer ... is that one senator can’t block the whole thing,” Hunt said. “That’s why there’s a senate of 12.”

However, the ASNAU insider said tabling a bill is relatively easy, especially when considering the social influence of the senate environment.

“I don’t know if everyone knows [the senator’s] intention to keep tabling it,” the insider said. “There are 12 senators, sure, but it only takes one senator to table an issue, and another to second it, and the bill is tabled until the next meeting. Five of [the senators], including [the senator], are Sigma Chi. [His]

brothers usually agree with him. So tabling an issue is as easy as saying you want to. It doesn’t take any effort.”

Official details on the tabling process are not included in the ASNAU constitution or its bylaws.

ASNAU satisfied with current admin, first year of ‘23’ Hunt said he is satisfied with this year’s administration and its progress committing to the promised initiatives.

“I think we’ve had an extremely successful year,” Hunt said. “It is our first year, and we’ve had a couple bumps in the road.”

Both Hunt and Templin confirmed that the excess monies from this year’s uncompleted or under-completed programs will be placed into a reserve fund of excess “23” monies for next year’s senate to utilize.

“There will be excess funds this year,” Hunt said. “If they choose to reallocate any funds, besides the promised initiatives from the ‘23’ fee, they have that ability. We’re going to be figuring that out soon, [probably placing] those funds in a reserve.”

Templin said she would like students to be patient with ASNAU as it adapts to having “23” funds available to them.

“So, I think we’ve brought almost everything we’ve promised to students,” Templin said. “It’s also our first year — we’re still trying to get everything together. We went from having a small budget to a large budget, and there’s a lot of work that goes into that. Staffing and programming. It’s definitely been a trial year. But for the most part, I think we’ve been successful.”

Opinion Editor Kierstin Turnock and Assistant News Editor William Brown contributed to this report.

InTheNews Section 3. Authority and Duties of Senate The Senate shall: D. Approve all budget expenditures over $500 before said expenditures may be disbursed.

1. Expenditures in Section D shall include staff programming, equipment, and other general expenditures, but not including operating expenditures, salary expenditures, or employee-related expenditures.

2. All expenditures must be presented in a report before the Senate. Failure to present fiscal information/requests on required budget expenditures shall result in disciplinary action.

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8 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

InTheNews from ASA PROTEST page 1 all three state universities’ ASA organizations are

ments — raise tuition, raise fees — every student might have to pay more than they are right now,�

Enns said.

According to Murphy, the loss of $36 million could result in fewer offered classes, staff cuts, and a decline in overall education quality and financial aid.

One student at the rally said she has already felt these affects. Theresa Wallace, a junior jewelry and metalsmithing major, said she was notified last year that her program of study would be discontinued. “[The school is] rushing us through and pushing us out [of the program],� Wallace said.

According to Wallace, some freshmen in the program are being pressured to finish their degrees in two years. “[It’s] unfair that we pay so much for tuition and we don’t get what we’re paying for in the end,�

Wallace said.

Another student who said he could be affected by the cuts is Christian Allen, an ASA intern who has been working with higher education students and was at the rally to show his support. “I know for me, personally, money has already been tight with my family, so I can just imagine how other people are feeling with these budget cuts,� Allen said.

Both ASU and UA also held rallies on their campuses last week in protest of the cuts. Enns said

working together on this issue. “Being able to rally on the central points of campuses and talking to each [other] and coordinating exactly what we are trying to talk about,� Enns said.

ASA at NAU was hoping for around 300 students to show up at the rally, but there were only about 50 students in attendance.

Despite the lower-than-expected attendance, Allen said he believes the rally will make a difference. “I think that we’re going to get publicity for it, and when the bill that they passed in the Senate goes through the House, I think it’s going to raise awareness,� Allen said.

Murphy agreed that the rally would have an impact. “I think it’s a great thing for us to be doing,�

Murphy said. “I think it’s important for students to know what is happening to their university, that they attend, that they pay for, and I really hope that this rally helps empower students.�

Wallace, however, said she thought the voices at the rally would not be heard by the state legislature. “I don’t feel like the politicians who are responsible for this pay attention to what we think about it,�

Wallace said.

Enns added that it is possible ASA and students could protest at the state capitol. “We do have a voice, and we are going to come together and fight these cuts,� Murphy said.

NAU students express their feelings against the proposed cuts to state funding to Arizona’s three universities outside the Union on Wednesday, March 23.

(Photos by Talia Green and Kevin Bertram)

NOW HIRING FOR NEXT SEMESTER Positions available with tuition assistance: Circulation director, creative director, web director, section editors, associate editors, copy chief, photo editor Positions available with course credits: section writer, copy editor, NAZ producer, KJACK DJ, production artist, photographer, videographer Drop by the Student Media Center in the Communication Building (16) to get more information.

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Editorial&Opinion

NAU expansion requires relocation of nearby cemeteries STAFF EDITORIAL

E

xpansion is one of the greatest and most glorified aspects of human history. Blazing a trail into uncharted lands is the very definition of adventure, and humans have been undertaking it for centuries.

Whether it be indigenous people trekking from Russia to Alaska in ferocious snowstorms, Christopher Columbus and his crew battling merciless oceans and scurvy to discover the new world, or Americans setting out to “Manifest Destiny” into the West, expansion is the stuff of legends. Now it is time for NAU to embark on its own (albeit smaller) version of Manifest Destiny.

With student enrollment growing at an exponential rate of 18.7 percent over the past two years, it is essential a new residence hall be built immediately at NAU. Of course, that begs the question: Where on Earth will construction take place? Easy. Place the new freshman hall on the land surrounding the university. Only a few major obstacles stand in the way: the cemeteries.

Cemeteries aren’t exactly the most cheerful areas on the planet; they serve as resting places for the deceased (and as a prime pot-smoking destination for many NAU students). While it is important to honor the dead with commemorative tombstones and flowers galore, it is essential NAU build more residence halls to house its skyrocketing student population. Without a new residence hall, incoming students would be forced to take on four roommates, which would make for an incredibly uncomfortable freshman experience. If

Turn What are your Editor-in-Chief feelings about the Gean Shanks-Stuff Assoc.

Editor-in-Chief NAU budget cuts?

Kevin “Textwall” Bertram

Cartoon by Katherine Lass

that didn’t work, students would have to resort to sleeping underneath trees or inside boxes to eke out an existence.

The only logical solution is to move the cemeteries to make way for a new megadormitory for new students.

There are a multitude of valid and important reasons as to why NAU should relocate the cemeteries (and their dead members) to another location to make way for a new residence hall. First off, haunting and paranormal activity would go through the roof at NAU. The spirits would be mad if their graves were dug up, defiled and moved, so they’d express their outrage by scaring the living hell out of any student unlucky enough to encounter them. This would also increase the likelihood of poltergeists appearing more frequently, which would

mean more unscrewed light bulbs, the turning on of random electronic devices and the levitating of sheets in the middle of the night. NAU’s public relations team would have a field day with headlines such as “Ghosts haze freshman students” and “Student claims ghost possessed his roommate.” People would flock from all over the state, and NAU would rake in loads of tourist cash as a result. All those ghost hunting shows would be clamoring for a chance to shoot on NAU’s campus, which would help spread the word about the university all over the nation.

Moving the cemeteries would not only make room for more freshman dormitories, but it would also give NAU the title of “Most Freakishly Haunted University in the Nation” on the Princeton Review’s annual collegiate rankings.

Phone: (928) 523-4921 // Fax: (928) 523-9313 I did not know

E-mail: lumberjack@nau.edu about these SINCE 1914budget P.O. Box 6000 Flagstaff, AZ 86011

cuts, but I’m against

Creative Directors them.

Isaac Caruso (where are our t-shirts?)

Ice Cowboy Schroeder

Faculty Adviser Rory “the Polish Hammer” Faust

The most obvious rationale behind the relocation of the cemeteries is that, for all we know, the dead might have advocated it when they were alive. The bulk of people buried in these cemeteries are locals who spent the majority of their lives in Flagstaff. While alive, they probably experienced (or predicted) the rise in NAU enrollment, so there is a good chance that right now, one of their spirits is thinking, “Man, NAU’s enrollment is off the charts. They need a new freshman dormitory, and I’d be honored if they constructed it on the very place I am eternally resting.” Although it is likely many of the spirits are also thinking, “If you dare move my corpse and build a new residence hall upon the land, I will haunt you incessantly until you die,” it’s not like anyone can ever truly know.

We hope you enjoy the rest of the April Fools’ themed opinion section of The Jumberlack. JL

Student Media Center EditorialThese Board really

I disagree with any cuts to education.

EducationEduardo DiCosola Copy Chief is extremely important.

Dayne “Hanky Panky” it, Pratt Without ignorant Opinion Editor Assoc. Copy Chiefs Kierrstein Turncock people would be runningAsst. Opinion Jennifer “the archiourtect” government and Gunther Editors Courtney Hells Bellio Aaron “the Puma” major companies.

Sales Manager Alla Takhtay Marketing Director Production Artists Marshamarshamarsha Jake “Thinks he’s Jenny Tighels Nursing and Biology Simon Spanish” Parks Whitegirldreads Ryan // Junior 10 The Jumberlack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

Because the dead cannot speak, they therefore have no representation, which means they have very limited means of opposition to residence hall construction on their land.

Last but not least, there is the painfully apparent fact that if there is ever a zombie invasion, NAU (as it currently stands) will be screwed from the very beginning. With hordes of zombies crawling/lurching from the surrounding cemeteries, the campus would be overrun long before the military could get close enough to lend aid. So in the name of public safety, the cemeteries should be moved farther away from campus so students have more time to prep for the incoming undead masses in the event of a zombie uprising.

Overall, it is essential that NAU embarks on a quest to expand its borders to make more room for new residence halls. Moving the cemeteries would only increase NAU’s survival rate in the face of a zombie invasion and make it a ghost hunter’s paradise. Plus, it’s not like the members of the cemetery are voicing any opposition to the idea. There are some minor problems with moving cemeteries — mainly that it is incredibly disrespectful to the dead, morally reprehensible and guarantees that all involved will be haunted for their rest of their lives — but those are tiny issues. I’m sure Columbus, Lewis and Clark, and other fabled trailblazers would be proud of NAU’s attempts to move the cemeteries in favor of expansion.

News Editor Kevin BadnewsBertram Assoc. News Editors FreeWilly Brown

Keniston Fox Welles

A&E Editor Matty Ice

will not affect me

Assoc. A&E Comic Editor too much since I am Editor Pear Duck Treviticus Ghoul graduating at the Image Editor the Lhippils Sports Editor end ofPaura Chuckles Photo Editor semester.

Constantino K. Doo-rell Life Editor GareBear Sundt Assoc. Life Editor The Murdocktor

Assignment Desk Brandon “Fear the Beard” Ross Multimedia Editor Gahris McGee

Editorial&Opinion

Colbert-Stewart will defeat Obama

R

Short Takes

eaders, as the 2012 presidential election draws nearer, a big question for the Republican Party still remains unanswered: Who will be the Republican nominee? Names like Palin, Romney, Huckabee, Gingrich and even Trump have been mentioned by the media, but they are all wrong.

Two men will rise to not only challenge President Obama but to defeat him, and AARON KENISTON they will do so all while hosting their satirical news shows every weeknight. These men are none other than Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.

Between the two of them, Colbert and Stewart have accumulated 16 Emmy Awards, won three Grammy Awards, authored three books (one a New York Times bestseller), received a combined nomination for Time’s Person of the Year, one nomination in Time’s 100 Most Influential People and one threat to poke Brett Favre’s eye out.

Together they have built a fan base of millions.

In October of 2010, Colbert and Stewart hosted the Rally to Restore Sanity and March to Restore Fear in Washington D.C. The events drew a crowd of more than 200,000 people and raised nearly $700,000 in charity donations. Unlike today’s political leaders, Colbert and Stewart actually seem to care for the pub-

lic and want to make the nation a better place.

The Colbert-Stewart campaign would run under the independent party because Colbert leans more conservatively, and Stewart tends to be more liberal. As for the problem of which individual would be president, the answer is simple: Both of them. Colbert

Cartoon by Alec Kozak

would argue that because his individual awesomeness greatly exceeds Stewart’s, he should have full custody of the country. But after a long and ugly court battle, they will settle on joint custody, leaving Stewart with the country on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other weekend while Colbert would get it the rest of the time.

In 2007, Colbert made a semi-legitimate attempt to run for president. Throughout the year, he hinted at the notion of throwing his

hat into the ring of both political parties but was later forced to run only for the Democratic nomination because of the $35,000 application fee required to run in the South Carolina (Colbert’s home state and the only one he attempted to run in) Republican primary. In 2008, after officially announcing his presidential candidacy, Colbert asked his viewers to cast their votes by making donations to a charity aimed at helping classrooms in need. Colbert inspired his viewers to donate more than $253,000, which helped more than 57,000 students.

Now, just think of what he could be capable of if he were president.

Finally, Colbert and Stewart have plenty of knowledge of what not to do as far as running a country based on their experice every weeknight for the past decade, pointing out the flaws within the political system. It’s almost scary to think that two nightly comedians could have a real shot at winning a presidential election, but if Trump believes he can win, then why not Colbert and Stewart? Aside from the former building monuments to himself all over the country, Colbert and Stewart might actually be good for the Capitol. Independents unite — write in Colbert-Stewart for the 2012 United States Presidency. JL

10 April Fools’ Day jokes for your love 1. Mention faking an orgasm, even if you didn’t. It will haunt your man for eternity.

2. Spray a bouquet of flowers with an allergen that is guaranteed to irritate your significant other.

3. Switch your boo’s shampoo with a neon-colored hair dye.

4. Admit to your significant other that you are a homosexual during intercourse. Pause for effect.

5. Vice versa if you are a homosexual.

6. “Honey, the condom broke!”

7. Admit to a fetish with medieval weapons. After the guy agrees, tell him you were joking and that he isn’t getting any tonight.

8. Buy her lingerie that is 3X too big and ask if she can fit into it.

9. Change your Facebook status to read “It’s complicated” after no instigation.

10. Upon seeing a whiny kid in public, say to your boyfriend, “Too bad I have one of those in me right now.”

BY KIERSTIN TURNOCK Opinion editor

Gaddafi’s determination an admirable trait

T

he situation in Libya is growing more and more tense. When Libyans took a much-needed hint from their Egyptian neighbors and tried to overthrow their outdated dictator Muammar Gaddafi, all hell broke loose. It appeared the rebels thought removing Gaddafi from leadership would be like taking candy from a baby: Yes, there would be some tears and screaming on Gaddafi’s part, but stealing his dictatorship would be quick, short and easy.

Who would have thought Gaddafi, with his history of cruelty and violence, would put up a struggle? It was quite a surprise, especially when Gaddafi did not take the rebels seriously. Gaddafi has been in power for 42 years — that’s KELLY over half his life. The logical thing for a ROSS power-crazed dictator to do would be to chalk up his war crimes and atrocities and just retire.

Now Libya is in a state of sheer chaos, and it is understandable Libyans are upset with the situation and how things are playing out. Absolutely no one would have thought the process of removing a dictator from power would be so time-consuming and lead to mass amounts of bloodshed; it should have been a walk in the park. It is usually much easier than this, so no one quite knows what is going through Gaddafi’s mind. Maybe the extremely high temperatures in Libya are slowly starting to melt his brain. Or maybe all the plastic surgery he has had has taken a psychological toll on him; hair implants and face lifts can do that to a person. Normally, when dictators are removed from power, they go with a smile on their face. When Benito Mussolini was overthrown by his former colleagues in the fascist Italian government, he was ecstatic — who wouldn’t be?

Whether Libyan citizens are disappointed with Gaddafi’s extreme behavior, they have quite a situation on their hands. The attempted overhaul is going to turn into a civil war, which is never good. Libyan rebels have put themselves into quite a pickle. They simply cannot turn back at this point, though many of them probably would like to, as they surely did not take into account the full effect of their actions. If the rebels were to give in to Gaddafi now, they would not receive a warm welcome. If Gaddafi is put back into power, he will kill every individual who rebelled against him. That’s a great way to start out after regaining power over a crippled nation, right? It’s certainly a large feat to kill every individual on the planet who opposes war crimes.

But at least Gaddafi is showing some ambition, a trait every great leader should have.

Gaddafi continues to amaze the world with his maturity about the situation. He continues to be an excellent role model to the many young children who aspire to one day be totalitarian leaders and oppress thousands, as well as other dictators who simply are not on his level. It would be the easy thing for him to walk away from his nation. Instead, he is sticking it out because he knows what is best for Libyans, and that is what makes a true leader. JL

March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Jumberlack 11

Editorial&Opinion

American Pi: Republicans introduce legislation redefining pi as exactly 3

F

reelance writer Ian Squires recently brought to media attention Congresswoman Martha Roby (R-Ala.) for sponsoring HR205, The Geometric Simplification Act, which declares the Euclidean mathematical constant of pi to be precisely 3. The bill comes in response to data and rankings from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, which ranked the United States’ 15-year-olds 25th in the world in mathematics.

The bill, which was recently passed by the U.S. Senate and is now moving to the House of Representatives, would give American children a much needed advantage over the math section of standardized tests and would elevate test scores and therefore the rankings of United States’ children in comparison to the rest of the world.

ROLANDO “This bill will indubitably increase test scores GARCIA and facilitate our children’s understanding,” Roby told Squires. “It will improve America’s public education system in ways never achieved during the Bush administration.”

Roby is on the House Committee for Education and the Workforce and the Subcommittee on Early Childhood, Elementary and Secondary Education. “That long-held empirical value of pi — I am not saying it should be necessarily viewed as wrong, but 3 is a lot better,” she said in response to some (though not much) liberal opposition.

“Really?” asked George Miller (D-Calif.), the ranking member on the Education and Labor Committee. “I can understand Cobb County’s efforts of endorsing creationism by putting stickers on biology textbooks, but objecting to something as Christian and American as mathematics is just absurd.” Although Miller does not endorse Alabama’s efforts to ratify creationism by calling evolution “a theory and not a fact” and pasting stickers on biology textbooks, he claims there is some “rationality” behind those efforts, as opposed to Roby’s actions concerning pi.

Although HR205 may seem absurd to some, upon closer inspection, Roby presents clear arguments. The United States provides a public education free of additional charges because education should not be something enjoyed only by the privileged few. Very few children’s parents are able to afford scientific or graphing calculators, so some kids have an unfair disadvantage on standardized tests. Multiplying any value for a radius or diameter of a given circle by 3 is a lot easier than to multiply the given value by 3.14156 ... the numbers go on and on.

Memorizing the states in the Union and their capitals is enough for a child’s already burdened mind; America should not increase that burden by forcing its children to memorize the insignificant digits of pi.

As a pioneer of modern, Western and fundamentalist education, Roby does not plan on stopping her efforts to reform the United States’ flawed education system when her bill is signed into law. She already has new ideas for bills concerning education: “Mathematics is just a start,” she said. “I believe I have much to contribute to the natural sciences; little kids will praise me across the nation.” Roby later explained because the United States Constitution is founded on Christian ideals, its education system should be, as well. She complained that not enough is taught about God in schools, and she thinks “God” should be offered as option “E” in multiple choice questions concerning human origins and the creation of the universe. JL

12 The Jumberlack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

‘Cat-tainment’ C

“

Cartoon by Alec Kozak

at-tainment,” a new ordinance presented at a Flagstaff City Council meeting on Tuesday, was unanimously passed with overwhelming support from residents and city officials. The bill was proposed after locals felt the skyrocketing population of feral and domestic cats was out of control. With the new legislation, cats will be contained and will no longer be able to reproduce as naturally as before. Amen to that, I say!

“The trap and kill method wasn’t working,” said local business owner Billy Miles.

“It was time we brought in the big guns, and appointing the city surprisingly turned out to be the most effective way for dealing with the cats. I’m so sick of them. Street cats JON prowl unrestrained around the parking lot NOVAK of my apartment complex; it’s total anarchy out there early evenings. I hate cats — all breeds, shapes and sizes — and kittens nowadays overwhelm me in awesome waves of nausea.”

Currently, stray cats are costing the city thousands of dollars a month. Containing the cats is estimated to cost taxpayers $500,000 but is projected to add more jobs to the economy, as well as reduce tabby population and long-term cat costs. A militia of cat hunters, nicknamed “The Grimalkins,” will prowl the city in search of wandering felines and tag them. The city will then give pet owners two weeks to register their cats and get them neutered or spayed at their own expense. After the two-week deadline passes, tagged cats will be systematically gathered and methodically euthanized. The city is taking the right direction in not letting people deal with the cats on their own, but are they limiting our freedom in doing so?

The Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) estimates that a pair of breeding cats and their offspring can potentially produce 400,000 cats in a span of seven years. Feral and

homeless cats are a huge problem not just locally, but also globally. The U.S. is said to have the highest cat population in the world with an estimated total of 76 million. Because Flagstaff in the past took no responsibility for its population of naïve pet owners, and the city wasted time with programs like public sanitation and spraying gray water all over the peaks, residents who employed common sense in the handling of felines joined forces and brought Cat-tainment to the table.

Sean Hannigan Hennessy, founder of the group “Abolish Felines Now,” is responsible for organizing the anti-cat movement around Flagstaff and neighboring counties.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the large elderly population in Yavapai County adopts a similar ordinance after they see the gradual decline of cats in Coconino,” Hennessy said. “One would be hard-pressed to find an old couple contributing to the reproduction of feral animals — dog or cat. The point is we want cats cut just as much as the public education; it really didn’t take much convincing.”

If there are any problems with Flagstaff’s latest decree, it’s that it didn’t happen soon enough. Requiring cats to be registered didn’t work. Putting up to 50 of them to sleep in a single day has proved costly enough, and demanding that owners walk their cats on leashes was found to be rather challenging and against the nature of the cats.

Abolish Felines Now could, in the future, be esteemed as the Batman of Flagstaff. Cat-tainment is set to come into effect in as early as May and is projected to level the city of Flagstaff’s cat population by 60 percent in the course of one month. While this is happening, student test scores in kindergarten through eighth grade will be plummeting, and to no surprise either.

The community will have to sit back and wait to see if the new containment policy is as effective as it is hoped to be.

Either way, the Flagstaff community will be better off with a few thousand fewer cats. JL

TheComicSpot

March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Jumberlack 13

14 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 15

Life

Hello my name is...

Poor Student e you today?

How may I serv

For some students, punching the clock comes before hitting the books

BY BRETT MURDOCK

A

typical day for a college student involves waking up, going to class and then returning to the warmth and coziness of home. However, a decent number of students also take time out of their daily lives to trudge to work at a vareity of jobs. The same is true for plenty of students on the NAU campus.

According to a study conducted by Upromise, an organization that helps students find money for college expenses, the percentage of students nationwide who maintain a job while going to school has increased rapidly since the mid1980s. The study also found the average number of hours worked per week is 23 for a full-time student, and the average salary for students is $7.13 per hour.

There is plenty of motivation for students to commit to a job. It allows them to make money while being in school, provides opportunities to meet new people and even

aids in time management skills.

“It’s pretty rewarding when you stop to think about it,” said Daniel Moreno, a junior computer information systems major who spends his shifts working in the Student Technology Center. “I get Alex Santouris, a freshman psychology and criminal justice major, works at the Rec Center. Santouris to have a job that I already know a must juggle studies, a social life and work on a daily basis. (Photo by Kate Dorrell) lot about and get paid for it.”

“Having a job forces me to For most students, however, stands that without her job, there having a job revolves around need- is a possibility she would not be organize myself in such a way that Average GPA of ing money as opposed to wanting able to afford to continue living I’ve never had to do before,” Grunin Flagstaff, and going back to her dy said.

“Even though I may not it. Plenty of students have to fund employed students: their own education and must find home in Oregon would become an have time to hang out and chill, my 2.72 grades are more important to me.” ways to pay for tuition, housing, option.

Unemployed: 2.69 “Even though my job can be Overall, most working stubooks and other necessary items.

This in turn usually leaves less stressful, I also know that it is nec- dents find that having a job and the spending money and simply places essary,” she said. “I enjoy my job at ability to pay for expenses — and 51% of full-time times and like the people I interact maybe even have a little extra left more stress on the student. college students are in their pockets — outweighs the “Honestly, it can be a pain with.” employed Other student workers, such stress their jobs add to their daily sometimes,” said Lauren Roby, a junior hotel and restaurant man- as Morgan Grundy, a sophomore lives.

“I don’t know how else I agement major currently em- psychology major who works as a 63% of parents ployed at the Embassy Suites north desk assistant at the Riles building, would survive without my job,” expect their students of campus. “I want to spend money see that having a job, especially on Moreno said. “I probably wouldn’t to work while on things I want but have to pay the campus, is a good opportunity even be in school right now.” enrolled rent, buy groceries and be ready to start using a routine — committing time to work and studies while for other expenses.”

But Roby said she also under- still finding time for a social life.

OnTheWeb at NorthernArizonaNews.com Diagnosis: Murdocktor - Life Editor Brett Murdock takes you through the operating room of your life.

Stats You Should Know - Life staff writer Shalana Kelley runs down of the list of statistical factoids you should be aware of. This week’s installment: How little Americans know about America.

16 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

Flagstaff local shares first-hand experience of Japan disaster - Katie Gandler Everett, a 2004 graduate of Sinagua High School, never dreamed she would be living in Japan with her husband at the time of the devastating earthquake and tsunami.

Overheard O EXTREMELY CREEPY EDITION

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“Yeah, I can hook a brother up.”

- One white guy to another white guy

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Life

Why the

90 were totally radical

‘

s

Life writers relive the golden decade that helped shape our generation’s identity Pogs

BY GREG GEARHART

The ‘90s had two things that concerned me: my wicked flat-top haircut (reminiscent of Guyle from Street Fighter) and Pogs.

Pogs is a simple game involving small, round cardboard discs and a larger metal or plastic disc called a slammer. The game works as follows: Each player bets an equal number of Pogs to create a stack, each facing down. The players take turns slamming the stack of discs, and any

Pog remaining face up would go to the player who slammed the pile.

What happened to the simplicity of those wasted-away days, slamming Pogs and wearing flat hair? I yearn for a time when playing with a colorful cardboard disc was not only commonplace, but expected.

BY TALIA GREEN

Three words: Baby.

Bottle. Pop! Like most of us here at NAU now, my childhood took place primarily during the 1990s. When I think childhood, I think candy, and one of the greatest candies filling my girlhood memories is the Baby Bottle Pop. Seriously, though: What’s not to love? It combines the greatness of pure, tangy sugar with the sweetness of a lollipop — a

combination no self-respecting kid could pass up.

When it came to candy, the ‘90s did us no wrong.

Indeed, I dare to say the greatest triumph of the decade was that classic nipple-shaped sucker.

Cartoons

BY BRYANNA KARAKEY

“Yo I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want!

So tell me what you want what you really really want!”

If you grew up in the ‘90s, you know exactly where these lyrics came from. The Spice Girls — Baby, Ginger, Scary, Sporty and, yes, even that snooty Posh Spice — were the girls every girl wanted to be. My parents still talk about how into them I was, even putting on concerts for family members, complete with badly matching wardrobe changes. I still have my albums with their original cases, and if you’re

anything like me, you still know all the words to every song.

With the upbeat tunes and funky outfits, Spice Power was, to use similarly dated parlance, the shizz.

BY TED GARDNER

VHS tapes

BY HANNAH KWIATKOWSI

Being a ‘90s kid, I grew up watching movies on VHS, just like everyone else.

I remember turning the tracking switch until the picture came on the screen just

The Spice Girls

Baby Bottle Pops

right, and then waiting through several trailers for the movie to actually start because there was no allpowerful “menu” button.

Sure, we had to be patient for our movie to start, but I don’t think we minded too much.

The machines were even courteous! If you needed a new VCR, the machine itself gladly informed you by destroying a copy of Home Alone.

Well, at least they had great taste.

18 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

What I miss most from the ‘90s is the quality children’s programming. It started with The Adventures of Batman & Robin and continued with a slew of smart and savvy programming that actually treated kids like they have brains.

To give you an idea, this was the decade of Rugrats, R e c e s s , Angry Beavers,

Hey Arnold!, Ren and Stimpy, Beavis and Butthead, Dragon Ball Z, The Tick, Rocket Power, The Animaniacs, and the introduction of the entire Toonami line-up. It was an era of greatness, one that left behind an apparent lack of good ideas for the following decade. Cartoons suck now, and we can only assume this is due to the excess of awesome that creative minds are still recovering from.

Nickelodeon says they’re going to go back and reboot these classic cartoons. This may work, but it sounds a bit like they’re trying to find fruit where it’s already been picked.

Thankfully, the generation of kids who grew up with those great cartoons will be running the show soon enough.

Goosebumps

BY GARY SUNDT

I loved a lot of things when I was a kid. I loved Nickelodeon cartoons and Jurassic Park movies. I loved Pokémon Red/ Blue on my giant brick GameBoy, and GoldenEye 007 on the N64. But more than all of that, I loved Goosebumps. The books, not the actual bumps.

R.L. Stine’s beloved horror series for kids is said to have sold 350 million books world-

wide, and I am proud to say I conned my parents into buying at least 45 of those suckers. The best of the bunch? Egg Monsters from Mars. I can’t say if it holds up today, but I can say it rocked my prepubescent mind when that kid laid an egg at the end.

In hind sight, that sh—t didn’t make any sense at all. I should have written about indie films or cartoons.

Kind of

Like a Movie The CHAPTER Breaking up TEN is, in fact, hard to do NAKED

BY GARY SUNDT

S

o my girlfriend and I broke up this week.

It wasn’t one of those nice break-ups, wherein both parties walk away satisfied in the decision. Rather, it’s been a mutually felt bloodbath of epic proportions, the likes of which I’ve ever seen.

See, me and my lady met at Wrigley Field during a Chicago Cubs baseball game. I was drinking a Yoo-hoo, she was drinking a rum and Coke. We eventually began dating, eventually getting an apartment together. I was working as an editor of a newspaper at the time, while she managed an art gallery owned by the eccentric artist Marilyn Dean.

Our most recent fight, like all our fights, had something to with the classic, “Why can’t you do this one little thing for me?” argument. The girl, feeling totally unappreciated, criticized my immaturity and unwillingness to work on the relationship. I, on the other hand, was frustrated by her overly obsessive attitude. I flipped out, claimed I needed more space, particularly after a hard day of column writing and movie watching. We made a tentative truce, only to blow up again over me not helping to do dishes —what’s a guy gotta do to watch a little Degrassi around here, am I right?

She got pissed and ended it.

That’s how easy it was, apparently.

Stunned, we both ran to our separate friends — she to her pal Addie, and I to my buddy Johnny’s house — to unload.

We got together on Sunday morning, the morning after she dropped the bomb, and declared that neither of us wanted to move out of the apartment. We didn’t hate each or anything, I guess, and we compromised by deciding to live together as roomies ... you know, roomies who used to bang but don’t anymore.

Maybe it was the absence of the booty-making that drove us crazy, but by the end of Saturday we were both acting out and being obnoxious. In a moment of whimsy, I bought a pool table, and within hours I was eating my way through the pantry and littering our apartment with garbage.

I was sad, I suppose, and I can admit now that maybe I was in the wrong.

But she really took the cake. I showed up to

our “couples only” bowling team that night, and she had me thrown out of the group. She didn’t get kicked out because, get this, she’s dating some other guy! If it was an attempt to make me jealous, it worked. We decided by the end of Sunday that living together just wasn’t going to happen.

We gave the apartment complex a twoday notice of moving out, and they then gave us a two-day notice to move out. On Monday evening, she invited me to a concert with my favorite band, the Old 97’s. I went along, but somehow I think I failed to recognize her lastditch effort to salvage our relationship. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I think I broke her heart that night.

Regardless, it seemed pretty clear to me by early Tuesday that the woman I loved didn’t love me anymore. She quit her art gallery gig in the morning and told me over grilled cheese sandwiches that she was going to go to Europe.

That’s when I went into full repair mode! I cleaned our entire apartment and prepared a fancy dinner to win her back. She walked in with a date, though. That’s when the whole thing got serious. She admitted she didn’t have feelings for me anymore, and we agreed to go our separate ways.

Later on, while out to drinks, my friend pointed out that I had always had my guard up in this relationship and never gave this girl a chance.

We clinked our glasses, and I considered that maybe old Johnny was right.

We both moved out of the apartment this morning, and I know I’m just throwing myself into work. A few minutes ago, in front of the Communication building, we ran into each other, totally by chance — she off to a meeting, I on my way home from the vending machine on the first floor. After some awkward but friendly catching up, we parted ways, each making glances back over our shoulders. We locked eyes and shared a reluctant smile, then turned back and continued on our separate ways.

See, the whole drama is almost exactly like an adjusted and accelerated version of The BreakUp starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.

Oh, and one more thing: April Fools, b–tches. I hope this was as completely depressing as that stupid movie. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and make out with my girlfriend now.

Please don’t touch my Ruffles. And leave a comment at NorthernArizonaNews.com, and come back next week for even more “Kind of Like a Movie”!

Life

TRUTH

BY BRYANNA KARAKEY & HANNAH KWIATKOWSKI

Editor’s Note: This column is written in conjunction with NAU’s Student Education Team (SET). SET is a highly trained student organzation that promotes healthy sexuality and healthy relationships. ello, everyone. I see you can’t get enough of me. I mean, err ... The Naked Truth. As you may know, I’m Bry, and with me this week is Stacie Leach, SET aid and all-around cool chick. I think you’re beginning to like us more than you let on, but we’re not going to hold it against you.

We like that you keep coming back for more sex, condoms, orgasms and girl-on-girl action. So grab an apple martini (or apple juice, depending on your age) and get ready for another question.

“So here’s the deal, my parents are very strict and conservative. I’ve had sex with two guys and they know nothing about any of it.

I’m scared to tell them because I feel like they will disown me. What’s the best way to tell my parents that I lost my V-card?” —Possibly Disowned (PO).

Anytime that you talk to your parents about your personal life, there is always a chance they will completely wig out. When faced with the fact that their baby is growing up and living his/her own life, some parents tend to slap on the chains because they want to keep their child close. At times it can be overwhelming, but in the end they just want to look out for your best interest.

When confronting your parents about the fact that you are no longer “pure,” we’re not going to lie to you — there may be some tense moments.

There are a few ways to tell your parents that you have done the hanky-panky. One option is to sit them down and blurt it out like you have Tourette’s, then simply walk away. This will probably cause them to remaining sitting on the sofa with the “Bambi

H

just saw his mom get shot by a hunter” look on their faces.

If blurting it out is too much for you, and you want to go with a calmer approach, we suggest you sit them down and talk to them one-on-one about where your V-card stands.

One way you can do this is to tell them you have something important to say that they may or may not be happy about. This will draw their attention away from whatever hyper-conservative activity they are taking part in. Then, calmly explain the situation — minus all the latexed dirty details. You want to keep in mind that what you are telling you parents may come as a shock, and there are many ways they can react to what you’re telling them.

For instance, they could very well get upset with you and your so-called “rational decisions” between the sheets. Or they could totally surprise you, as some parents do, by understanding where you’re coming from. Although, you should definitely be ready for your parents take precautions such as placing you on birth control or being present at every sexual deed you commit. Sorry, that’s actually a little creepy, but you get the idea.

Now, being a young adult who is capable of making his/her own decisions, you can opt to simply not tell them at all.

When children reach a certain age, there is a time during which their parents don’t need to be in their business 24/7. There is a fine line between being a parent and being there for your child in their time of need.

Once again, thank you PO for submitting a query in your time of need. We hope you take this information not only to heart, but also into the bedroom. Should the rest of you feel the need to wonder about your sexual and relationship exploits, we are here and waiting. Send your questions in via the SET Facebook page or shoot us an email at set.nau@gmail.com.

March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 19

SportsReport Patton and Jones: Leaders on and off the court

BY STAYSON ISOBE

NAU football hosts Pro Day

BY CHUCK CONSTANTINO

T

O

en hopeful former Lumberjack football players gathered on the South Fields on campus Wednesday afternoon to showcase their talents in front of professional scouts.

Garnering much of the attention was quarterback Michael Herrick, who teamed up with wide receiver Davieun CurryChapman and tight end Nick Larson as the only offensive players present. Linebacker Anthony Llanos, defensive lineman Kyle Rath, cornerback Taelor Worrell, linebacker Cody Dowd, defensive end Michael Battisi, linebacker Reid Worthington and safety Matt Estrada were there to represent the No.1 total defense in the Big Sky Conference. Estrada was sidelined after his first 40-yard dash due to a pulled hamstring.

Curry-Chapman, who recorded the fastest 40-yard dash time with 4.62 seconds, remained upbeat during the entire process.

“It was good to get out here in front of the scouts and run some routes and do some football drills again,” Curry-Chapman said. “As you guys know, not everyone can get invited to the NFL combine, so this for us, is our combine. We came out here [with] three months of training, [and] hopefully it all paid off.”

Herrick flicked the ball to Larson and Curry-Chapman in front of scouts for the Arizona Cardinals and Buffalo Bills. The California native has also been in contact with the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Indianapolis Colts, the Denver Broncos and several Canadian teams.

“I feel very blessed to get an opportunity to come out here and just keep working, keep playing football,” Herrick said. “It was great to see the guys. I wish I could do this every day.”

ne recently completed his career as the all-time leading scorer in NAU men’s basketball history, while the other is on pace to eclipse the NAU women’s basketball scoring mark when her career is all said and done. Together, senior guard Cameron Jones and sophomore guard Amy Patton have excelled not only on the court, but off of it as well.

“Obviously both of them are go-to scorers,” said head women’s basketball coach Laurie Kelly. “When the game is on the line, the ball is in their hands most of the time. They completely represent what a student-athlete should be, not only on the court, but also in the community and in the classroom. As a university, we’re fortunate to have these type of student athletes.”

Jones saved his best season for last, leading his team to conference semifinals and a postseason berth in the CollegeInsider.com Tournament. He earned his second straight unanimous first-team All-Big Sky selection and third overall all-conference honor, finishing the season with a team-high 20.1 points per game, while also ranking second on the team in rebounds and assists. He completed his career with 1,646 points, tops in school history, and his 643 points this season are also a single-season-best for the program.

“It was a great year,” Jones said.

“We got to the [conference] semis, and we did better than last year with the same team, so there are no regrets. It was a great season with great personal accomplishments, and I’m ready to move ahead.”

Jones’s success extends off the court, too. He is one of 10 finalists for the Lowe’s Senior CLASS Award and became the first Lumberjack to be named to the 2011 Lou Henson All-America Team and the NABC All-District 6 team, and the second see LEADERS page 25

photo by Jennfer Hilderbrand

SportShorts

Go to NorthernArizonaNews.com for the full story.

OnTheWeb at NorthernArizonaNews.com

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Men’s Tennis • April 2 vs. Northern

Track and Field • April 2: The New

Cowgirl Classic in Chandler, Ariz.

Colorado @ 9 a.m.

Mexico Tailwind Invite @ Albuquerque, N.M.

20 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

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March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 21

SportsReport

Jacks track and field compete in ASU, Stanford Invitationals

BY QUINN KAWAMOTO

T

he NAU track and field teams had their second meet of the outdoor season at the ASU Invitational in Tempe this past Friday and Saturday. The Lumberjacks competed against several big-name programs throughout the country.

Participating schools included Notre Dame, Utah, Wyoming, Baylor, Texas Christian, New Mexico, Arizona State and defending national champions Texas A & M. During the ASU Invitational, there were nine Lumberjacks who qualified for the Big Sky Conference Outdoor Championships taking place May 12–14 in Sacramento, Calif.

Throwers coach Oscar Duncan said he was pleased with the performance of the athletes.

“Based on the early season training we have been doing, the performances were really good,” Duncan said. “At this time of the year we’re still really preparing and building for performances at the conference and beyond. I thought they showed a real sign of life this weekend.”

Duncan added that he believes the team did well with the competition they faced, which included nationally ranked athletes.

“I thought it was good — we had some weather challenges and facilities challenges, and the kids have had a really good attitude about it,” Duncan said. “Then to go down to Tempe and have them compete against national-ranked athletes, we have proved ourselves early on in the season.”

Director of Track and Field Eric Heins commented on the obstacles in the way of his squad prior to arriving to the ASU Invitational.

“We had to overcome some adversity this week with a snowstorm, so for the athletes to compete like they did was encouraging,” Heins said. “Although we didn’t set personal bests in every event, we were able to add to the depth of the Big Sky roster in our second week.”

One of the performers who added to the new depth was freshman thrower Jessica Bush, who had a qualifying throw of 147 feet, 2 inches in discus, and 45 feet, 11.75 inches in shot put.

While some of the Lumberjacks were down in Tempe, redshirt senior Jason Pedersen and a few others were running in the Stanford Invational.

“Getting on the track at a big invitational like Stanford, it was a little different,” Pedersen said. “You have to be ready to run fast when you go

to those big meets.”

Lucky for Pederson and the other four runners competing at Stanford, the weather brightened up for their races.

“It rained almost all weekend at Stanford,” Pedersen said. “We got kind of lucky for our races; the sun came out and stopped raining for a couple hours.”

Despite the difficult weather, Pedersen had a personal-record time of 14:37:06 in the 5K. “I was hoping to be under 14:30, but since my personal [record] was only 14:50, I’m still happy with it,” Pedersen said.

However, Pederson said he has a lot to be happy about, even if he did not finish under 14:30 like he had hoped. His performance in the invitational was the first time he’s competed on the track in almost three years.

“This was my first outdoor track meet in uniform since 2008,” Pederson said. “In 2009, I took a voluntary redshirt year because I knew I was going to be here for five years. Last year I had a knee problem and had surgery in March [2010], so I had to miss another track season.”

The Jacks will be heading east next weekend to compete in the New TOP: NAU track team leaps hurdles toward victory. ABOVE: NAU Athletes Mexico Tailwind Invite. raised the bar at the ASU invitational track meet. (Photos by Eric DeSalvo)

Lumberjack tennis loses on roadtrip, drops in conference standings

BY TRAVIS GUY

N

AU’s men’s tennis team was scheduled for three away matches over the weekend, but two were canceled because of poor weather. As a result, the Lumberjacks played only one conference match against the Sacramento State Hornets and lost 6–1.

“When you travel, you want to play,” said coach Rich Paulosky. “It was just disappointing that we didn’t get those other two

matches in.”

The loss to the Hornets was the Lumberjacks’ first in the conference, moving NAU to 2–1 in the Big Sky Conference, while the Hornets improved to 6–0 in conference play.

Senior David Flodberg said the Hornets did not intimidate his team, and he knows the Jacks will do better against them at the conference finals.

“We lost 6–1,” Flodberg said.

“But many were close matches ...

I feel good about maybe playing

22 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

them in conference, and I think we’ll do better next time.”

Flodberg was the lone Jack to win a match in singles play.

He defeated Josh Lorentzen 6–0 and 7–5. Flodberg also played a doubles match with junior Robin Pezutto and lost a tiebreaker.

“It was definitely a good win for me,” Flodberg said. “I feel good moving forward.”

Women’s tennis lost their three road matches to the University of Nevada Reno 6–0, Sacramento State 6–1 and the Univer-

sity of San Francisco (USF) 4–3.

“We have to play [courts] one through six well,” said head coach Kim Bruno. “We faltered mentally, and we didn’t have patience and the durability to outlast our opponents.”

The Lumberjacks played the USF Dons on the final day of their road trip. NAU started the match with a sweep during doubles play, with scores of 8–4, 8–6 and 8–2.

USF was able to rally during the singles matches, winning four of them. Seniors Yumi Hasegawa

and Orsi Golovics were the only Lady Jacks to win during singles play. Golovics lost her first set 0–6 but came back and won the last two sets 6–4.

“I was more patient,” Golovics said. “And [I] tried to make her miss the ball.”

The Lumberjacks are looking to rebound when they play the Bears of Northern Colorado on Saturday, April 2, at the Flagstaff Athletic Club East at 9 a.m. for the men’s team, and 2 p.m. for the women’s squad.

SportsReport

Jack Chat David Flodberg senior tennis player

interview by

Brandon Smith

D

avid Flodberg’s college career as a men’s tennis player at NAU includes being a Golden Eagle Scholar-Athlete as a freshman, receiving an All-Big Sky honorable mention during his sophomore and junior seasons, and achieving success in singles matches throughout his time at NAU. This season, he is the lone senior in a group of underclassmen of the tennis team looking to make waves and win the Big Sky, which eluded the Lumberjacks in previous campaigns. Flodberg recently sat down with The Lumberjack to discuss leadership, sushi and seniority.

The Lumberjack: As the only senior on this team, does it make you nervous, or are you excited about the opportunity to be the most experienced player?

David Flodberg: It feels great. I was already one of the older guys last year, so I feel I have already experienced being a leader.

LJ: If I am a struggling freshman and I come to you for advice, what would you say to me?

DF: I lost my first match when I was just getting started as a freshman, so I would say in the end you have a long way to go, so don’t get too down on yourself.

LJ: How do you feel about your team’s chances in the Big Sky this year?

DF: So far we have won our first two conference matches; it’s great to win that, and we want to win it all. Last year we made it really far in the tournament but lost.

LJ: If you could talk to any famous person, whether it be in sports or Hollywood, who would it be and what would you ask them?

DF: Roger Federer. I would ask him how he is able to stay on top, what keeps him motivated and his instincts on the court.

photo by Jennifer Hilderbrand LJ: You wouldn’t want to talk to Rafael Nadal, who has been number one in the world most recently?

DF: I think Nadal is the best player right now, but Federer is obviously older and has been doing it longer. I think he is the best tennis player of all time.

LJ: Any non-tennis person that you would like to talk to?

DF: I really don’t follow many other athletes, but one would be hockey player Peter Forsberg. He’s been injured for about the last seven years and eventually decided to retire.

I really respect that he did his best to make a comeback.

LJ: What’s the hardest out-of-town court you have played on, in terms of the crowd atmosphere and competition?

DF: The easiest one obviously is up here, but I would probably say the hardest place to play is Sacramento State. They always have a good team, and they have good fans. It’s an outside court so it feels a little slower.

LJ: How do you feel about this team after you’re gone? Is it in good hands?

DF: The core of the team is going to be good. A lot of great players are going to be taking my place next year, so I feel good about their chances.

LJ: Is there any one thing you’ll miss most about this team?

DF: The van rides, definitely. I always enjoy hanging out with my teammates in the vans, and even on the long car rides to New Mexico we still have a great time. Honestly, we all get along really well.

LJ: Anything you will miss about Flagstaff?

DF: I love sushi, and my favorite place is Sushi Fuji; we go there twice a week with teammates and friends.

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March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 23

SportsReport

New Lumberjacks head into spring ball with confidence

BY CHUCK CONSTANTINO

F

our months ago, the Lumberjacks ended their season with a disappointing 6–5 record, but when coaches, the returning 52 players and walk-ons took the field at Sinagua Middle School on Tuesday to begin spring practice, it was clear this squad looks nothing like last season’s team.

Head coach Jerome Souers said he believes this team will have to correct the mistakes the players made as a unit last season before making some noise.

“Last year we were really close in a lot of the games we played,” Souers said. “We look at what we thought our team capability was last year,

and we didn’t end up winning as many games as we could have. The team that returns has 24 juniors that our going to be seniors to build on. We’d like to see those close games come back in our favor, and it’s going to be by taking care of the details and playing better when the game is on the line.”

Leading the Jacks last season was freshman running back Zach Bauman, who was the team’s Offensive MVP, finished last season rushing for 1,059 yards and a conference-best 16 touchdowns. In the process he set the school’s freshman rushing record.

With the right pieces in place, Bauman said he expects big things from his teammates.

“This year we really think we have the parts to go all the way, and we’re looking to do something big here,” Bauman said. “We’re trying to get that Big Sky Championship, but just trying to make the playoffs and spring ball, we’re just trying to put the polish on things.”

Bauman was one of six freshmen in Division I football to average more than 95 yards a game.

While many players in their first season would view 1,000 yards as a major accomplishment, Bauman is aiming even higher for next season.

“I like to set the bar high,” Bauman said. “So I’m going to try to go for 2,000 rushing yards this season.”

Slated to start the season lining up under center is senior quarterback Chasen Stangel. After seeing action in nine games this past season, Stangel said he is looking to step up and become a leader on this squad.

“It’s been a long time for me,” Stangel said. “I’m going into my fifth year, and I’ve had a lot of time being behind guys — learning, trying to pick up as much stuff as I can, learn how to lead a team, be the guy that you can look to, trust. I really feel good about this team’s chemistry.”

After owning the No. 1 total defense

in the Big Sky Conference last season, nine of the top 10 leading tacklers from that team have since graduated.

“We have a lot of returners on defense that have plenty of playing experience,” Souers said. “We had some quality guys leave the program, and you don’t replace them, but you do have guys that step up. They need to do a good job in their offseason and become the kind of production players that we did lose.

I think we have quality core people to build on, and that’s what spring football is all about.”

photo by Jennifer Hilderbrand

24 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

SportsReport

Housing Reapplication

April 6-15

nau.edu/reapp

photo by Jennifer Hilderbrand from LEADERS page 20

Lumberjack to be selected to the Reese’s College All-Star Game to be played at the Final Four in Houston, Texas.

“These are great accomplishments for him,” Patton said. “Obviously there were a lot of players that came before him, so for him to be the all-time leading scorer, it’s pretty amazing.”

Yet despite all of his impressive accolades, Jones’s career got off to a rather pedestrian start.; he averaged just 3.9 points per game as a freshman.

But he increased his scoring each the following seasons — from 12.7 points per game as a sophomore to 19.3 points per game as a junior.

“Every year he seemed more fit, bigger and stronger,” Kelly said. “Cameron is someone I would say is a great player, because not only does he do things for his team individually, [but] when he’s on the floor he makes every player around him better.”

Unlike Jones, Patton hit the ground running as a freshman. She finished as the co-conference leader in scoring with 18.6 points per game and was the first freshman and non-post player to lead the conference in rebounding (8.6 per game) and double-doubles (13). She also broke the school’s 23-year-old single-season scoring record with 539 points and 25-year-old single-season record with 207 made field goals. For her efforts, she was the unanimous choice for Big Sky Freshman of the Year and was voted to the All-Big Sky second team.

Although she struggled at times this season, she still managed to earn her second straight AllBig Sky second team honors with a conference-

leading 16.4 points per game. She also finished with a team-high 5.5 rebounds per game (13th in the conference) and 57 steals (fourth in conference with 2.0 steals per game). In the season finale, she became the first sophomore to eclipse the 1,000-career-point mark in NAU women’s basketball history. After two seasons, she sits at 1,016 career points, just 662 points behind the all-time scoring mark.

“She’s probably going to triple my [total],” Jones said. “That’s a lot of points as a sophomore.

She works real hard, and her attitude is one of the best I’ve seen of all the girls I’ve seen play. She’ll probably be one of the best female players to come through here.”

Patton’s team improved in her second season, increasing their win total from five last year to 11 this year. Still, the Lady Jacks failed to qualify for the conference tournament, something Patton said she is looking forward to doing next year.

“As a team we improved a lot, but I wish we would’ve been able to make it to the [conference] tournament,” Patton said. “Hopefully next year we’ll get there and win it.”

Kelly, however, said she thinks Patton’s best has yet to come and envisions her in the same mold as Jones as she enters her upperclassman years.

“Amy has accomplished a lot of things, but what she’s capable of is miles away,” Kelly said.

“She’s going to be a huge factor in us getting back to the top of the league. If anything, she’s just a couple of years behind Cameron. They’re both really similar in that when you get Cameron and Amy, as coaches, you’re very fortunate to have them.”

Check your NAU e-mail on April 1, 2011 for your assigned lottery time!

Questions?

Reapp@nau.edu

March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 25

Comedic Italian opera opening tomorrow night

Arts&Entertainment

BY KELLI STARK

T

he snow is melting, the greenery is showing itself once again and love is in the air. To celebrate the arrival of spring, the NAU Opera and NAU Orchestra are performing L’Elisir d’Amore (The Elixir of Love). The comedic opera opens April 1 — April Fools’ Day — and will run for the following two days in Ardrey Auditorium.

Nando Schellen, director of NAU Opera, said everyone who attends will find something about the opera to enjoy. “[The audiences] will enjoy the music, or the story, the tempo of performance and the comedy of it, or a bit of all,” Schellen said.

The Elixir of Love is about a peasant named Nemorino and his love for the wealthy and fabulous Adina. Despite the fact that Adina does not feel the same about Nemorino, she does enjoy dealing with his many advances. Schellen said The Elixer of Love was chosen because of who management planned to use as the cast.

“We chose an opera based on the quality and maturity in the education of the singing students,” Schellen said.

During auditions, the directors were worried about the technicalities that came with bringing The Elixir of Love to life. Luckily, as Schellen said, they found two people to play the main character, Nemorino.

“We were lucky we even had

TOP: Elders from various tribes stand up to stop uranium mining. RIGHT: Klee Benally from the band Blackfire performs in front of the crowd. (Photos by Brandon Ross)

Concert raises awareness of Native American causes

BY GEOFFREY KIE

T

he Orpheum in Flagstaff was filled with the sounds of traditional drum music and an audience of people of all ages — from infants to the older generations — this past Saturday when a benefit concert took place to raise awareness of uranium mining in the Grand Canyon and other indigenous environmental issues in Arizona.

The benefit’s goal was to bring public awareness to the dangers of mining and the sacredness of land to the indigenous people throughout America and across the world.

Musical artists Radmilla Cody, Keith Secola, The Jir Project, Blackfire and more were able to showcase their talents and fight for justice, even within their own lands. The artists shared their music while environmental groups educated the public on the subjects of uranium mining, protecting of Mt. Graham from desecration caused by telescopes being placed on Apache land, and using reclaimed water on Snowbowl. Environmental groups such as the Sierra

see OPERA page 30

see CONCERT page 29

MoviePicks Just a few movies playing Friday at Harkins Flagstaff 11 (1959 South Woodlands Village Blvd.) OnTheWeb at NorthernArizonaNews.com HOP (PG) - 11:00 a.m., 1:30 p.m., 4:10 p.m., 6:30 p.m., 9:00 p.m.

SUCKER PUNCH (PG-13) - 10:55 a.m., 1:40 p.m., 4:20 p.m., 7:05 p.m., 9:50 p.m.

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (PG) - 10:30 a.m., 1:10 p.m., 3:40 p.m., 6:15 p.m., 8:50 p.m.

SOURCE CODE (PG-13) - 11:30 a.m., 2:00 p.m., 4:30 p.m., 7:00 p.m., 9:30 p.m.

26 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

• Review of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” • Q&A with hoodie-hop artist Hoodie Allen • Videogame review on Mass Effect 2’s “The Arrival”

Arts&Entertainment

NowShowing Sucker Punch

SoundCheck Artist: The Strokes Album: Angles Genre: Punk

is a guilty pleasure I can get

behind.

Directed by Zack Snyder. Starring Emily Browning, Jena Malone, and Abbie Cornish.

Running time: 130 minutes. Rated PG-13.

BY MATTHEW VINSKO

I

usually try to avoid reading reviews of movies I plan to critique myself, but sometimes it’s hard not to look, considering advance screenings don’t exist for my current position. Take, for example, Zack Snyder’s latest film, Sucker Punch. I wasn’t a huge fan of his movie Watchmen, so I naturally wanted to know what I was getting myself into.

Sucker Punch earned a critical thrashing. I dreaded seeing the movie from its first trailer, and the reviews were doing nothing to assuage my doubts. But I’m here to tell you Sucker Punch is a film I enjoyed by simply focusing on the gratuitous violence and sexuality.

Sucker Punch stars Emily Browning as Baby Doll, an orphan forced into an asylum. Soon enough, Baby Doll finds herself befriended by some of the other inmates, including Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and Amber (Jaime Chung).

Baby Doll quickly learns the ways of the asylum, including the need for the more attractive inmates to dance and entertain the guests of one of the orderlies, Blue (Oscar Isaac). Baby Doll decides to take advantage of her dancing and uses it

create a plan to escape the asylum. In order to break out, Baby Doll must steal four important items held throughout the premises. Whenever she dances, she transfixes whoever holds these items, which allows her girlfriends to steal them. Oh, and each dance is really a battle in Baby Doll’s mind.

Make sense?

Snyder and writer Steve Shibuya deserve recognition for taking this very unique premise and keeping it rooted in senseless violence and hypersexuality (instead of forcing viewers to think too much). Yes, I felt for Baby Doll’s dilemma, but any sad moments were almost immediately replaced by shots of her dancing or shooting some monsters in the face.

Did this ruin what could have been a deeper and more meaningful film? Maybe.

Prior to some of these over-the-top action sequences, the film was rooted in Browning’s tragic portrayal of a girl at the mercy of her stepfather. But as Sucker Punch goes on, Baby Doll’s confidence grows, which makes her a legitimate badass — even if it only takes place in her head. Who cares about plot when you have a sexy blond blowing your mind in more way than one?

This couldn’t have been accomplished without Browning’s take on Baby Doll.

Sometimes vulnerable, sometimes badass,

but always sexy, Browning does a great job keeping the eyes on her at all times (which says something, considering her co-stars).

As much as people want to rag on his overuse of slow-motion, Snyder definitely knows how to keep viewers intrigued once the action starts. Sucker Punch is a visually dynamic film that never slows to a dull moment. There are approximately three worlds in Sucker Punch (the asylum, the burlesque and the fantasy worlds within Baby Doll’s mind), and Snyder does a good job giving each their own dynamic.

However, not all is peaches and cream for Sucker Punch. Yes, the action sequences look amazing, but they get a little ridiculous at times. For example, when you have an old fighter jet being chased by a dragon, you cannot help but roll yourr eyes at the lunacy. I personally felt Snyder strayed too far from his initial concept of a girl wrongfully locked in an insane asylum.

In the end, I can honestly say Sucker Punch was the best Snyder-helmed film I’ve seen since his debut with Dawn of the Dead. If you’re not a fan of illogical premises, Sucker Punch might not be for you.

But if you’re willing to put up with a shallow plot and sit back to ogle the eye candy, Sucker Punch is a film that will not leave you disappointed.

QuickFlick Paul

BY TOM BLANTON

W

ho’s up for a close encounter? That’s exactly what you’ll get with Paul, the new alien comedy written by British actors Simon Pegg and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. The movie also stars the comedic likes of Americans Seth Rogen (Pineapple Express), Bill Hader (Superbad) and Jason Bateman (Juno). Mixing British humor with American comedic tendencies, Paul is a rollicking good time.

Pegg and Frost portray two British nerds, named Graeme Willy and Clive Gollings, who take a trip to America to attend San Diego’s Comic Con. After the convention, they take a road trip around the country, stopping at famous UFOrelated sites. En route to New Mexico, the two stumble upon Paul, an alien.

Paul explains he needs a lift for reasons beyond their immediate comprehension and tags along in their rented RV, but it’s not long before a veteran government agent named Lorenzo Zoil (Bateman) is on the tail of the eccentric caravan.

I won’t go any further into the plot and how it unfolds because there was a more complex storyline than I would’ve guessed. I was thoroughly surprised with the aura of the movie and its humor from around the globe.

Rogen is the perfect chubby stoner to voice the title role, and no one could’ve played Frost and Pegg’s characters as well as they did. I’d recommend Paul to anyone who enjoys thoughtful comedy, heated religious argument and pot-smoking aliens who curse more than a drunken sailor.

N

BY ANDREW MADDEN

YC legends The Strokes have been avoiding making a new album for years now. With most band members making their own musical statements, The Strokes seem to be avoiding recording new material as a means of preserving their legacy. Is This It and Room on Fire made them the iconic band they are barely grasping to be today, but 2006’s First Impressions of Earth dialed back the world’s expectations just a bit. Their new album, Angles, does not have the same clout as their earlier records, but it still has some great highlights.

“Taken for a Fool,” “Gratisfaction” and lead single “Under Cover of Darkness” are all excellent tunes that, without sounding generic, maintain the sound The Strokes helped reinvent. Aside from these tracks, there are some different sounding songs that aren’t necessarily excellent but are still worth mentioning. For example, the album opener, “Machu Picchu,” has a bouncy, Latin-sounding guitar riff that is quite catchy.

“Metabolism” and “You’re So Right” are both grinding, sinister-sounding tunes that manage to be both frantic and boring.

With Angles, it seems the band is only trying to add more variety, which creates mixed results. Their legacy lives on through their earlier works and solo albums, but unfortunately, of the 10 songs on Angles, only four or five tracks are worthy of your iPod. Best Tracks: “All Black Everything,” “Coming Up”

Artist: The Dodos Album: No Color Genre: Indie Rock

S

BY TOM BLANTON

an Francisco is known for producing some of the most beloved bands of the late ‘60s, due in large part to the 1967 “Summer of Love” that epitomized the hippie movement and defined the youth of the nation. Jefferson Airplane and the Grateful Dead were born in the “City By The Bay” during these psychedelic years, inspiring experimentation that resonated through the city’s music culture.

For the past six years, The Dodos have been progressively exploding, the blast radius magnifying from their humble beginnings in San Francisco. The two gentlemen who make up the band are Meric Long and Logan Kroeber, and they have created, through half a decade of trial and error, a sound completely unique from anything I’ve experienced.

Their latest release, No Color, is a compilation of energetic songs that contain echoed vocals and intricate guitar playing.

The album kicks off with the song “Black Night,” which seduces the listener almost immediately with its enticing beat and lyrics that tell us to “control ourselves,” followed by the words “I don’t want to, I don’t need to.” These lyrics embody the freewheelin’ mood of the ‘60s and the city that lit the band’s fuse. The last song on No Color, “Don’t Stop,” begins with an involved guitar riff and rim-tapping beat that makes me want the album not to end. To anyone in need of a spiritual journey through a careless mind beneath the consant sun, The Dodos’ latest is the perfect soundtrack to a mind that craves alleviation.

Best Tracks: “Black Night,” “Don’t Stop”

March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 27

28 The Lumberjack | NorthernArizonaNews.com

Arts&Entertainment

Nobel celebrates latest album release, bids farewell to Flagstaff

BY TREVOR GOULD

L

ast Friday night, a huge crowd of people streamed through the doors of Bookmans Entertainment Exchange. They were not there to browse through the store’s massive inventory, catch up on some reading or to get their coffee fix. Rather, they were all focused on the corner of the café where local singer/songwriter Leah Nobel sat, guitar in hand, serenading all who would listen.

The crowd had come to celebrate the release of Nobel’s latest album, Notes to Self (Notes), and to say farewell as she prepares to leave Flagstaff in pursuit of achieving her musical dreams.

The CD launch party consisted primarily of Nobel singing various songs from Notes. After performing for roughly an hour, Nobel sat down at a table and chatted with fans while selling copies of her album and signing autographs.

Notes was recorded in three separate studio sessions in Nashville, Tenn. Four of the songs originated from Nobel’s 2009 self-titled EP, while the other eight were newly recorded in Nashville. Nobel said the production process only took a few days.

“When I go down there to record, I usually do four songs at a time,” Nobel said. “We spend one day in the studio recording all the instrumentals and then another day and a half recording my vocal tracks. The recording process was quick and easy for me [because] I am used to recording my demos at home on my Macbook, which has limited editing software. I am used to trying to get a song perfect in one take.”

Nobel said she had also written all her songs prior to entering the recording booth.

“I wrote all the songs on the album beforehand, so there was from CONCERT page 26

Club, Fair Trade Flagstaff and the Center for Biological Diversity were also present at the event.

Rex Tilousi, a local indigenous elder of the Havasupai people who has been fighting against uranium mining for many years, said he is happy to see support for Native American causes growing.

“We feel very honored to be here to share what we as indigenous people have been going through the past 500 years,” Tilousi said. “When we first heard about the mining — this was in the late ‘70s, early ‘80s — we found out that a company, Energy Fuels Nuclear, had interest in the land. ...

Help us protect one of the seven natural wonders of the world, the Grand Canyon; people from all walks of life come to see the canyon.”

no writing done when I was down in Nashville,” Nobel said. “Being in the studio is so, so much fun. I had a blast with all the musicians that I worked with. We had a ball.”

Nobel graduated from NAU in December and has spent the past several months working and saving up money to move to Austin, Texas. Nobel said there are many things she will miss about Flagstaff.

“I will miss the charm of Flagstaff, the memories that I’ve made here and all of my wonderful friends,” Nobel said. “Flagstaff also has a kind of rustic beauty that [I will] truly miss. And the stars — I will definitely miss the stars.”

Many Flagstaff residents will miss Nobel. Matt McFadden, a junior secondary education major and friend of Nobel, said he appreciates Nobel’s songs for their raw and moving nature.

“What I like most about Leah’s music is the honesty in her songs and her originality,” McFadden said. “You can tell she is speaking from her heart and that she isn’t holding anything back.”

Nobel said she never could have imagined her music career would progress as much as it has recently.

“I used to be terrified to sing my songs in front of people, so it is a huge and beautiful accomplishment for me to have come this far,” Nobel said. “I never, ever dreamed I would be doing this. I didn’t dream of it as a little kid; it sort of just fell into my lap. When I realized that I could write music that people actually enjoyed, I knew that I had to do something with it.”

Nobel hopes to return to Flagstaff someday, but for now, she is dedicated to continuing her music career in Austin. McFadden said he thinks Nobel will make Flagstaff proud.

“I think Leah has an incredibly bright future with her music,” McFadden said. “She is going to be larger than life someday, and this community should be proud of her.”

Tilousi and the other Havasupai elders have traveled around the world to Switzerland, Germany, Austria and the Netherlands in an attempt to raise awareness of the destructive mining occurring due to the international interest in the ore that is in the ground of their homelands. Tilousi said he feels like the mining companies mislead people about their real intentions. “[Mining companies] tell us it is clean, it is cheap, but what they don’t tell us [is] where is it coming from?” Tilousi said. “The waste, the tailings they all left behind — what is happening to that? This is happening on indigenous lands. And where is it going to end? This is something they don’t tell us: When and where is it going to end?”

Stacy Onsae, a sophomore applied indigenous studies major who attended the concert, said there are many aspects of life that the uranium

(Photo courtesy of Leah Nobel)

mining will affect. “[Uranium] contaminates lives; it kills people,” Onsae said. “It desecrates the Earth. It’s toxic, dangerous and causes cancer. Even though it’s supposedly going to give energy to the world, it kills it even more. Nuclear energy isn’t the way to go.”

At one point in the concert, the band Keith Secola and the Wild Javelinas brought everyone together, holding hands and singing in a huge circle in front of the stage. The crowd then danced to a slower, more traditional style of the group’s song “NDN Kars.”

Secola, a member of the Anishinabe Nation from northern Minnesota, said he grew up in an area heavily affected by nearby mining operations.

“We got a lot of things that happen to regions that produce ore or uranium,” Secola said. “We got the poverty, we got the illnesses, we got the holes

in the ground.”

Secola said his music reaches a different audience and brings people together through the use of song and dance.

“I feel my music is revolutionary in the sense that it’s music for the underground, music for the people,” Secola said. “I named my band the Wild Javelinas — almost like we were wild flowers, we blossom and bloom when we can. We’re really for the people, playing music for people and letting them feel good.”

Tilousi said the disaster in Japan is another example of the dangers of uranium.

“To the east of us, our brothers and sisters are now experiencing radiation that is going on there,” Tilousi said. “This is a perfect time to have this gathering, to have this music ... We are very honored to have you as a people.”

March 31 - April 6, 2011 | The Lumberjack 29

Arts&Entertainment from OPERA page

26

le so we could doublethese voices double-availab said. cast the opera,” Schellen nce major, tenor and vocal performa d lea a , Niff Mc an Ry with singing act th eriment with bo said it is fun for him to exp cifiing in the opera. llenging — to decipher spe “Acting has also been cha the g din fin fun nts,” McNiff said. “It is h.” wit cally what the director wa ay aw get can wants and what I Italbalance between what he the gh ou thr ng rki wo and McNiff said buckling down additional challenge. an s wa era op the of ns ian translatio Italian es and wrote in what the “I highlighted all my lin ctice pra the in urs ho d. “I spent many on nti words meant,” McNiff sai atte l cia spe ing pay , in rhythm rooms speaking the Italian c accents and meaning.” chalto each word and its specifi t the only one who was s However, McNiff wa no s felHi e. rol ire ent memorizing an a, ren lenged with translating and Sur w dre An jor ma formance t. low tenor, senior vocal per par the deal of time practicing for said he also spent a great g my score, atin nsl tra ak bre ter win “I spent most of my h my singthms and keeping up wit rni lea ng the notes and rhy is very enw sho s thi ly, ful d. “Thank ing technique,” Surrena sai d down gge form, so we don’t get so bo tertaining and fun to per ” with all the technical work. dy to pere, the cast and crew is rea ctic pra After months of l respond d he believes audiences wil form live, and Surrena sai Love. positively to The Elixir of e,” Surly collaborative experienc “It has been an amazing highand ing lift up s ryone enjoys thi rena said. “I hope that eve spirited show.” for sets, faculty and staff, $18 Tickets are $10 for studen more or r fou of l admission. Groups 14, niors and $22.50 for genera -72 520 8) (88 or 61 ll (928) 523-56 Uniwill receive a discount. Ca the in ce Offi ket Tic al the Centr visit nau.edu/cto, or go to . ets tick for ion . on versity Un ance lectures at 6:45 p.m There will be pre-perform at rts sta w sho e Th 3.

5 p.m. on April April 1 and 2, and at 1:1 at 2 p.m. on April 3.

7:30 p.m. on April 1-2 and

Tobey Kidd and Surrena Andrew scene a rse ea reh from The Elixir of Love, which will open tomorrow at 7:30 p.m. (Photo by Christian Terslin)

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