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Tri-County Sentry
Friday
MARCH 28, 2014
Around the Tri-Counties It’s Springtime! Inez Knows
How to Deal With Rejection Words to Live by
Dr. Lonnie G. McCowan, pastor of Miracle Center of Ventura
By Pastor Lonnie G. McCowan We reject things on a daily basis -- we reject items we don’t want, ideas we don’t like and opportunities we don’t see fit. Rejection is as much a part of our world as is approval. It drives a healthy system of competition and ensures a high standard of quality. But what happens when we as human beings reject each other? Rejection comes as one of the most brutal stakes to the heart because it deals a direct blow to our ego. The ego is the inherent part of the self which holds intact our pride, esteem and self-worth. When the ego is bruised, a core element of our being is damaged. We often feel reduced to a lesser version of ourselves. We automatically begin to blame ourselves, assuming there must be something wrong with us and criticizing the behavior that led to our rejection. Of the many forms of rejection, being denied by a love interest is most agonizing. We are grieved by a deep sense of bitterness and spite, both against the other person and against ourselves. Ironically, though, we feel an inexpli-
cable sense of longing -- a stronger desire towards the rejecter than ever before. As a pastor, I’ve seen many become stuck in a cycle of voluntary, unrequited love. The more they are rejected, the more they “wanted” the person rejecting them. They refused to give up. Rejection can cause cycles of unhealthy emotions and behavior. To change the hold rejection has on you, first solidify your self-worth. Bear in mind these five truths the next time you feel overwhelmed by rejection. 1. It really isn’t you. When somebody rejects you, they are acting on their own insecurities and fears. Take comfort in knowing that the person who rejects you is dealing with their own personal issues and that you most likely did nothing to cause their decision. Rejection -- especially harsh or cruel rejection -- is a manifestation of selfinsufficiencies and a lack of self-tolerance. 2. It happened for a greater reason. When we feel rejected, we trap ourselves in a moment of doubt and distress. But we must learn to see past the fleeting period of pain and acknowledge that there is a higher purpose to not getting what (or whom) we want. That higher purpose is usually revealed in time. I’ve had many people tell me that they felt awful when someone they loved turned them away, only to find the perfect partner when they least expected it. When that happened they became grateful that they Paid Advertisement
were rejected, or else they would’ve never met the new and better person. In retrospect, they laugh at the fits of emotions which rejection invoked. We all discover the greater purpose of our pain in due time. 3. This is not a new pain. Rejection can be a lifelong ordeal stemming from childhood. For some children who were abandoned by a parent, rejection becomes a recurring challenge to conquer throughout life. They may overreact when they feel turned down and not know that this is caused by a subconscious memory. Understanding the primary source of rejection and the impact it had on you can help you deal with this unpleasant emotion. Accept that this is not the first or last time you’ll feel the ache of rejection, but that you’ve defeated this emotion before and will emerge stronger from each instance. 4. They’re really missing out. A person who rejects you cannot comprehend your inner and outer beauty. So why let someone hurt you who doesn’t see the full spectrum of your wonderful being? The next time you feel rejected, remind yourself of your amazing traits, you’re positive characteristics and your invaluable qualities which undoubtedly exist but may have been overlooked by someone else. 5. A chance to evolve. Rejection offers us an opportunity to evolve through and learn from our experiences. It allows us to look REJECTION, See page 12A
on their communities in Santa Barbara County. Nominations are received from members of the community, and all young people ages ten through eighteen living or attending school in Santa Barbara County qualify. The nominees’ contributions were assessed based on the positive impact their actions have had on their Santa Barbara County communities. Winners were chosen by a selection committee comprised of KIDS Network members who remain anonymous to ensure that the process is unbiased. The selection process was challenging due to the remarkable achievements of so many young people in the county. In addition to this year’s winners, the selection committee also rec-
ommended honoring three distinctive nominees who, while not named award recipients, stood out for their dedicated service and commitment to creating positive change. These three honorable mentions go to Maria Frias of San Marcos High School, Diego Hernandez of Santa Maria High School, and Marcy Montano of the Grizzly Youth Academy Independent Study Program. This year’s Youth Impact Awards celebration is made possible thanks to collaboration and support from members of the KIDS Network, including the Santa Barbara County Education Office and the Santa Barbara County Probation Department. Light refreshments will be prepared by the Probation Department’s Los Prietos Boys Camp Culinary Arts Program. Through the Culinary Arts Program, wards of Los Prietos Boys Camp are selected to work in the kitchen where they are introduced to all aspects of the culinary experience. Through hands-on training they learn about food preparation, presentation, cooking, cleanup, food safety and storage. YOUTH, See page 12A
Youth Impact Awards Honor Young People Making a Difference
The KIDS Network is proud to announce the winners of the Santa Barbara County 2014 Youth Impact Awards. This year’s recipients are Ella Brewer of San Marcos High School, Fatima Cacho of Cabrillo High School, and the Leaders Establishing Great Ideas 4 Tomorrow Club at Ernest Righetti High School. Every year the KIDS Network – a countywide umbrella organization including members from public agencies, the courts, law enforcement, education, community-based organizations, school-linked programs and parent groups – honors young people for their contributions to the community. The annual Youth Impact Awards celebrate youth who have made a significant positive impact
NAACP Ventura County Chapter "Women in the NAACP" Event has been Postponed
Due to some unexpected events, the National Association for the Advancement for Color People (NAACP) Ventura County Chapter will be hosting Women the NAACP (WIN) Luncheon
has been postponed until a later date. We keep you posted on the date change. All tickets sold at the upcoming WIN event will be honored. Thank You all for your support.
By Inez Lanns A new season has arrived, and that season is spring! This is the time of the year when the days get longer, so we begin to see the sun more often. The air and ground temperature increase more rapidly, which makes a perfect place for things to grow. Flowering plants begin to bloom during this time. Spring is known for the time of rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, and resurrection. It is also known as a time for new life to be born. It is a time for things to grow! We can be actively engaged in many areas of our lives, but time does not
slow down nor stop for any of us. This season is here, and since we have knowledge of the beginning of this new season, we need grab a hold of it. It is the perfect time for the dreams and visions that have been lying dormant throughout the winter to grow and blossom. It is a time to be refreshed – to provide new vigor and energy; to stimulate. It is not a time to sit and do nothing. It’s time to start taking the proper steps to help make those dreams come true! “Spring is the time of plans and projects.” ~Leo Tolstoy The spring season comes after winter and before summer. Winter is the coldest season, and summer is the hottest season; yet, spring falls right in between the two. Due to the warm weather coming into the dry we can often find some unstable weather during this time. Well made plans may have seemingly fallen apart, or been delayed in the previous season, but we are to keep pushing for new-
ness is being born. During spring we feel the warm weather come in, but we may also have some days filled with rain. Although the “April Showers” come they bring about “May Flowers.” Rain comes and washes away the old things, and also waters the ground for new things to grow. Whether we want to accept it or not, the new season is here! Spring has arrived, and we can jump on board during this season of rejuvenation, renewal and resurrection and watch growth take place in our lives. Or we can sit around and observe the blooming, blossoming and birth of people, flowers, animals, dreams, projects and visions take place all around us. “You can cut all of the flowers, but you cannot stop Spring from coming.” ~Pablo Neruda Inez Lanns was born and raised in Ventura County. She currently writes a blog on her web site: www.inezknows.com.
VENTURA — President and CEO of Consortium Media, Denise BeanWhite and Chuck Huffer, Senior Vice President of Kipp Financial Group, were nominated by Stephen Kipp, President and CEO of Kipp Financial Group, to be the recipients of Ventura Rotary Club Paul Harris Fellow Award. This is the second time Bean-White is receiving the award and Huffer’s first. Bean-White and Huffer are individuals who meet high professional and personal standards around their community set forth by Rotary founder Paul Harris. It is one of the most prestigious awards in Rotary. The foundation supports Humanitarians programs, including grants to fund district and club service projects.
Bean-White opened Consortium Media over 24 years ago as a brand development agency which works locally, regionally and nationally. She created the Five Pillars of Marketing Success™ which strategically combines advertising, promotions, public relations, web, social media and creative to help improve brand recognition. Bean-White donates 1,500 pro bono hours per year to her nonprofit clients to help raise awareness of local and international charities. Clients of Consortium Media include Ventura County’s FOOD Share, ASPIRAnet and PODS® Enterprises, Inc. “I credit my father’s 36 years in business as a level of integrity I strive to achieve,” Bean-White said. “Service above self
is so important to our firm. I also tribute Rotary with leading me to serve my community every day. Receiving this award is indeed a wonderful moment in my life.” Huffer is the Senior Vice President of Kipp Financial Group, an ensemble practice of leading financial planning and wealth management professionals. Their custom in-depth analysis and client-centered financial solutions are tailored to people’s wealth management needs. Huffer has been a vital member of Kipp Financial Group for 21 years, and a member of Kiwanis in Thousand Oaks, Calif. Huffer was elected to the Conejo Recreation & Park District Board in 2012. ROTARY, See page 12A
CAMARILLO – The CSU Channel Islands Choir recently held the Choral Spectacular, a rare concert combining the talents of the Channel Islands Choir, Channel Islands Chamber Orchestra and the First United Methodist Church Chancel Choir in a moving performance of Brahms’ Requiem. The groups performed two separate concerts. The first was held on Saturday, March 22, at the Studio Channel Islands Art Center at 2222 Ventura Blvd. in downtown Camarillo. The second, on Sunday, March 23, took place at the First United Methodist Church at 1338 E. Santa Clara Street in Ventura. Brahms’ Requiem is a sweeping, emotional work, popular with singers and audiences alike. The Channel Islands Choir chose to
perform Brahms’ Requiem for this year's Choral Spectacular program as an anniversary tribute to the victims of last year's Boston Marathon tragedy on April 15, as well as in remembrance of a beloved former choir member, the late Rev. William Gutkneckt. A highlight was the dual performances of soloists Juan Dunn and Rabihah Davis Dunn – a husband and wife team from the Bay Area. Both have long-established careers as professional baroque, opera and oratorio singers; however, they have never performed together before in public. Baritone Juan Dunn has sung for more than two decades, including over 50 performances with the Washington National Opera in Washington, D.C. Soprano Rabihah Davis Dunn has received many awards
and honors during her 17year career, including winning the Grand Prize from the Bel Canto Foundation. She will have her San Francisco debut shortly in Bizet's Pearl Fishers, but has made time in her performance schedule to appear at the Choral Spectacular. “Brahms finished his Requiem in 1869 after the death of his mother; however, the piece was intended to be a message of hope rather than loss. He wrote it as a comfort to the living who are left behind,” said Choral and Orchestral Director Dr. KuanFen Liu. “His Requiem took Germany by storm when it was first performed, and its comforting message for those dealing with loss still speaks to people of all cultures and faiths 145 years later.” CHOIR, See page 12A
Inez Lanns
Community Members Awarded Ventura Rotary Club Paul Harris Fellow Award
Choral Spectacular Unites Channel Islands Choir and Chamber Orchestra in Poignant Performance