Nexus 2021 Issue 8 by Nexus Magazine

UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO ESPORTS CLUB

The University of Waikato Esports Club caters to both competitive and social players, so if you love gaming, now is a great time to join this very active and engaged community. Membership for University of Waikato students and staff is $40 per trimester. This not only provides access to the OMEN Esports Arena during opening hours but also gets you 10 hours per week on the gaming PCs (during trimester time). Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/esports for more information about the competitions on this year, memberships and to head down and check out the action.

David Bennett List MP based in Hamilton East 510 Grey Street, Hamilton East 3216 davidbennettmp@parliament.govt.nz davidbennett.national.org.nz 07 834 3407

Authorised by David Bennett MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington.

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COVERED - RAWHAI WETERE - CENTREFOLD Rawhai is a photographer c u r re n t l y l o c a te d i n t h e Waikato region. His works stretch from Stan Walker's personal instgram guru to capturer of love. In his free time he makes rings from forks. Pre cool if you ask me. @rafwtr on instagram

DISCLAIMER Nexus is a magazine made by students, for students. As such it’s sometimes controversial views don’t actually represent those of the WSU, Nexus staff, the publishers, or the sponsors.

FEATURES

LIFESTYLE

Vincent Reid

Al Gilespie

Lorde of the Rings

Builds a conspiracy

Waikato Students Union

Slightly Stoned Chef

Darts & Crafts

ENTERTAINMENT

EXPERIENCE

Top 10's

Waikat' Flats

Nexus Five

Playlist

Tinder Dating

Snapped

Jak Unpaks

Blind Date

Puzzled

VISUAL

PRINTING Nexus only makes it to the stands thanks to the incredible team at Urban Print. We are proud that we are printed on 90gsm Sapphire Offset stock that is PEFC certified, biodegradable, recyclable and audited to ensure unsustainable sources are excluded. ADVERTISING AND CONTRIBUTING If you want to advertise with Nexus and the WSU in either the printed magazine or online email, comms@wsu.org. nz. If you want to contribute to the website email, digital@ nexusmag.co.nz. AOTEAROA STUDENT PRESS ASSOCIATION Nexus is proud to be a member of ASPA. LOCATION The Nexus offices are located down the hall at the WSU, usually with Alexa playing terribly dated music. You can send correspondence to us at: Nexus C/O Waikato Students’ Union, University of Waikato, Ground Floor SUB Gate 1 Knighton Road Hillcrest 3216 4

COLUMNS

REVIEWS

Sex in the Tron

Mortal Kombat

Grow the Fuck up

Bram Stoker's Dracula

Sports Thoughts

The Falcon and the...

Olie Breaks the News

The Irregulars

Student Support

HIMYM

Single Sentence

Reviews

TEAM Editor Hannah Petuha editor@nexusmag.co.nz Correspondence Editor Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz Design Jak Rāta jak@nexusmag.co.nz Wenyue Ruan wenyue@nexusmag.co.nz Stien Huizenga stien@nexusmag.co.nz

EDITORIAL HANNAH PETUHA 1969 - The moon landing was either real or NASA lied to us (but is that really old news?) 1994 - Kur t Cobain passed away or escaped to an island with Biggie, Elvis, and Tupac 2015 - Lorde foreshadows COVID-19 with secret onion ring account 2 0 1 8 - Q u e e n E l i z a b e t h I I e n d u re s cannibal claims 2021 - Don’t get me started on the antivaxx, Prince Phillip, Kardashian divorce, Capitol crap that floods my emails Most nights, I find it difficult to ease my mind. Partly because my brain can’t help but recall every single encounter and lesson I learn during the day. Another part is due to Nexus finally planning a proper layout so I am recovering from pulling below average content out of my ass. Now enter a carefully crafted conspiracy issue. Conspiracies are like fire. Mess around with it too much and you’ll accidentally create a cult by the name of Twiddling Tinfoil. Note: People who twiddle with tinfoil are suspicious, or anyone who has ‘twiddle’ in their vocabulary for that matter. Amid the twiddling, this is where things get a little dangerous. Not The Irregulars type of dangerous (reviewed in this

issue) or Dracula (also reviewed in this issue) inspired, but rather something that makes us believe in strange things. Conspiracies are not limited to the realm of racism or misinformation, but rather empower them. And there is something even more dangerous that capitalises from racism and misinformation - faith. In the name of faith, altars are erected idolising governmental officials. Faith is strong enough to divide nations and bestow power; faith transforms lives but also destroys them; faith acts as a catalyst for extremist ideologies, victimising minorities. It’s a wonderful world out there but wonder could quickly turn into indifference, and with indifference comes callousness. To break the fold between indifferences, however prevalent in the world, Nexus shines light to what is usually hidden; or perhaps those that are not hidden as far as anti-fluoriders and big ol’ rat labs on campus goes. Faith is not limited to religious zeal but a larger amalgamation seeping into our daily lives, only not all of us are aware of it yet.

Advertising & Production James Raffan & Kendrah Worsley comms@wsu.org.nz Design Interns Salma Nicholson, Nerissa Mercer Fan Yang, Nate Raffan, Bailey Sunnex

CONTRIBUTORS Alexander Nebesky Alan Baunchmy Oliver Dunn Josh Umbers

Team

Grace Mitchell Sarah Hyde

CORRESPONDENTS Quinn McKay Caitlin Walters-Freke Mitchell Jordan

@nexusmag facebook.com /nexusnz Nexus Media Experience NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

NEXUS: NOW WITH 13% MORE FLUORIDE In 1998, Andrew Wakefield and colleagues published a paper in the prestigious medical journal The Lancet. It suggested that there was a link between autism and a vaccine for measles, mumps, and rubella. This was a correlational study which means that no causality could be attributed – nonetheless, the world’s press did attribute causality. If you gave your child the vaccine, they might develop autism. It is difficult to quantify how many people died as a consequence of this study. The reaction to this paper was substantial. The number of children getting the vaccine plummeted. By the time that it was retracted by the journal in 2010, due to spurious analysis and falsification of data, the damage to lives and to science had been done. Wakefield was stru ck off the medical register yet the legacy of this paper lives on with us today. As a developmental psychologist, I get asked about links between autism and vaccines more often than you would think. Distrust of vaccines has been sown in the public mind. To this day, Wakefield continues to maintain his innocence while peddling anti-vax misinformation. But what can this teach us about the nature of conspiracies and their formation?

Atikara / 特辑

SIMPLISTIC SOLUTIONS ARE COMPELLING

How and why autism occurs is a complex issue with no easy answer. There’s no question that autism appears to be on the rise in the general population. Yet this could be due to increased awareness of autism and what it entails. A generation ago, only psychologists really knew about autism. These days, everyone appears to know something about it. This leads to an increase in people seeking a diagnosis, or for referrals for diagnosis from health professionals or people in the education sector. What causes autism? Genetics is likely to only provide part of the solution, with the best studies indicating that genetic factors only lead to a 15% rise in likelihood of autism. Alternative theories, such as those advocated by Simon Baron-Cohen, suggest that increasing mobility for work and children produced by likeminded individuals may play a role. Whatever the true mix of genes and environment, it is clear that there is a tapestry of factors underpinning the rise in autism. This is very difficult to explain to the general population. It is much easier for someone to point to a simple solution to a complex issue such as “vaccines cause autism.” Let’s say that you are a politician and you live in a country with a housing crisis. Politician A says “The root cause of these issues are complex and we will need a raft of policies to address it.” Politician B says “We will build more houses. This is a supply issue.” It’s clear that B is a simple message and likely to resonate. It ignores the complexities and provides a simple solution. Never mind that it isn’t possible to suddenly find thousands of builders, or if there is a lack of milled wood to build with in the first place. But it sounds good. Within the political domain, Politician A must now explain why the simple solution of Politician B will not work. This will require some exposition - with the consequence that the soundbite driven media is less likely to cover it and the reach to the public is diminished. Politician B wins. Simple solutions to complex issues are the hallmark of the duplicitous politician. The implications of this are significant for conspiracies.

WE ALL LOVE OUR ECHO CHAMBERS

We tend to make friends with relatable people with interests similar to our own. This means that we make friends with people like us. If you like board games and you meet someone who likes board games, well, that is the foundation for a potential friendship. In today’s world, this means that you are likely to get information on social media from an increasingly skewed viewpoint. The implications for conspiracies are substantial, particularly if you get your news via social media rather than from news outlets. My own social media is full of articles related to equality for women in academia and the sciences, issues related to (or solutions for) racism in New Zealand, university related international news, concerns about climate change and the environment, and veganism. Important as these issues are, it is unlikely that they are the top news items of the day.

algorithms can target you with information based on your interests. Twitter is the most vitriolic of social media platforms. By way of demonstration, I have seen a solid piece of research get published. Many people congratulate the research team. Then one person has a minor issue and points out that you could have analysed the data in a different way but still reached the same conclusion. This neutral comment gets picked up and moved into negative territory by another person. A few days later, there are people advocating that the paper should be retracted and the authors should lose their jobs. The work of the echo chamber is complete. An extreme view has been formed. Added to this, it is the nature of humans to advocate for a position only when it is held passionately. The most positive and the most negative people dominate the discourse. All other people just don’t care enough to get involved. It is easy to see how conspiracies form and are fostered by social media.

CONSPIRACY’S BEST FRIENDS: INSECURITY AND A LACK OF EDUCATION Simple solutions to complex issues and echo chambers promoting extreme views are both key factors for the rise in conspiracy theories. But there is something else underpinning this current epidemic.

It’s 2016 and Britain votes to leave the European Union (EU). But who voted to voluntarily reduce living standards? It was working-class English. This was due to intrinsic racism but also due to insecurity. The EU represented the internationalisation of work. If you have no skills and no education, it is possible that your factory job could be moved to Portugal in order that your employer has a lower wage bill. That’s the kind of world we live in now. This increased precariat in “first world” countries is a breeding ground for conspiracy. Without the tools to determine fact from fiction, the politician with a simple solution to a complex issue wins the vote and the electorate chooses to shoot themselves in the head.

SOLUTIONS

There are pathways to attenuate the rise of conspiracy theories, at least in New Zealand. The successful COVID-19 elimination strategy coupled with the rise of the public scientist has given the public some faith in science. People started to listen to RNZ and read newspapers online rather than rely on social media, particularly for the 1pm Ministry of Health briefings. The task will be to keep people away from echo chambers and unverified online material. It’s no question that an educated populace provides inoculation against conspiracies in all their forms, not just for anti-vax pseudoscience. But to really address the rise of conspiracy theories, the most vulnerable in our population must no longer feel threatened by the status quo.

We now live in echo chambers where our own opinions circulate around us and lead to increasingly skewed impressions of the world. This is a fertile place for the distribution of misinformation – particularly when NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

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CONSPIRACIES AND THOSE WHO CAPITALISE FROM THEM Most would not think twice at the mention of another Law Professor in another office in the Law Faculty. However, Alexander Gillespie (Al as preferred) is an interesting man with an interesting mind. In this interview, Al comments on extremist ideologies baked into every facet on the planet and why that is.

Nexus: Is there a global trend toward white supremacy at the moment? Gillespie: It’s always been there. The big debate isn’t so much whether it’s a trend - it’s whether we’re becoming much more aware of an underlying problem and then you start to look for what you find. And so there’s certainly a change in terms of the global picture, it’s a minority as a threat risk but it’s a growing minority, it’s a growing area. You’ve still got a problem with religious extremism, nationalist extremism, left-wing extremism. But this other one is there and it’s growing. Part of the problem is that it’s harder to count than other types of extremism because often to be a terrorist you need to have an ideology. You need to have a manifesto - you write down what you do whereas a lot of the mass shootings that you see in America don’t have one. And if they don’t do a manifesto then you can’t actually classify it as terrorism. And so it’s possibly being under-reported because sometimes what you’re seeing could well be terrorism if they left a manifesto. Like the recent shooting in America last week, the terrorist goes in and shoots four sikh people with no manifesto - does that mean it is an act of terrorism or does it mean it’s a mass shooting? And so to answer your question, it has always been there but we’re becoming more aware of it and it’s difficult to categorise. In New Zealand it’s definitely changed, it’s now 50% of the focus of the Security Intelligence Service (SIS) which is much more than it was in the past. Nexus: What role has the internet played in making these

Uiuinga / 特辑 fringe ideas more mainstream and accepted? Gillespie: I don’t know if the internet has made it more accepted but it’s made them more accessible. It’s the power of people to do their own investigations and find whatever they want to support their views that is much greater than it used to be. There was a time when you could control, through censorship, what you could and could not say or what they could not read and you can’t do that anywhere near the same degree anymore. Young people, in particular, seem very good at finding the dark web if you say there’s one out there - they are going to find what’s on it straight away. In the past, it was easier to control what people were accessing. It’s still watched but you can’t control it like you used to. Nexus: How was a political figure like Donald Trump able to capitalise on conspiracy theories like QAnon? Gillespie: The thing about Trump is that he actually is a remarkably clever person. He would often say things but not to the point of them being incitement to a riot but he would lead you up to the point, just one step away from it. He would use ambiguity and misunderstandings to further his own political views without taking that extra step the whole time. He did it for four years. He would use these things for his own political purpose with great skill. Nexus: When Trump used phrases like “I don’t know much about the movement, other than I understand they like me very much, which I appreciate”, “good people on both sides”, or “stand down and stand by” with the proud boys in the debate - are they conscious political dog whistles? Gillespie: I think so. I think this is part of his intelligence - they were very conscious dog whistles. The other thing though is that not only were they conscious but they were very effective so part of the challenge we’ve got now isn’t what happened with Trump in the past, it’s what happens with Trump or whoever replaces him in the future. 70 million people voted for Trump, he was within a whisker of actually regaining the presidency. So we tend to see the extremists on both ends but it’s the middle ground that he has a large amount of support and that’s going to be a real challenge going forward. Trump, in my opinion, knew exactly what he was doing. Nexus: Staying in America, the likes of Marjorie TaylorGreen, Jim Jordan, and Matt Gaetz have also spoken in support of some of the fringe elements using phrases that might trigger these conspiracy theorists. Is this the new reality for American politics? Gillespie: I think it’s a new reality for all politics. I’m a strong believer in freedom of speech and the responsibility of all of us to engage but people now pick and choose the arguments that they want. Often people defend things that can be really problematic without a willingness to engage in what they’re actually saying. There is a huge confirmation bias. Nexus: How many times do these QAnon people have to be wrong before they give up the game? Every month it seems CNN is telling us that QAnon is posting that “today

is the day that Biden will be arrested and Trump will be inaugurated.” Is this just another phenomenon with seemingly no end in sight? Gillespie: I don’t know if you’ve yet come across anyone who is a devout conspiracy theorist but it’s like talking to someone in a completely different language. Even though you can show them that it is wrong, they’ll still believe that it is right. It’s like a mindset that is so difficult to engage with. They reinforce each other and are given their own echo chamber. They are increasingly difficult to confront but my argument is that as tiresome as it is we’ve got to keep confronting them. You’ve got to keep saying “that’s not right” or “that is wrong” or “that is racist” because what they’re competing for is the middle ground that we’re all seemingly fighting for right now. They’re becoming very good at their argument but it’s the responsibility of the scholars in particular and the academics and the specialists to go forward. Whether you’re talking about politics, science, vaccines, people have to become more engaged.

"I’M A STRONG BELIEVER IN FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND THE RESPONSIBILITY OF ALL OF US TO ENGAGE BUT PEOPLE NOW PICK AND CHOOSE THE ARGUMENTS THAT THEY WANT." The fewer people become engaged the more space the conspiracy theorists will capture. Nexus: How much Kool-Aid do you have to drink to storm the Capitol? Gillespie: I reflect a lot on what happened when the Capitol was stormed. At the time it was almost unbelievable that this was happening in America. It’s one of those things, had it gone a little bit different and actually captured Pence, I believe he wouldn’t have been strung up. In some ways, it was a wake-up call but in other ways, it was a real lucky escape because it could’ve turned much nastier. And then these things also create their own momentum, if people had seen that they succeeded then more people could have come to their ranks so we were lucky. How much Kool-Aid? A lot of Kool-Aid. But some people want to believe that there are conspiracies out there. That they are victims and that they have a privileged position to be protected, they sincerely believe it too. Nexus: Do you think it has to do with a feeling of belonging? Gillespie: Identity - I think it is fragmenting. Identity in the 21st century is much more complex than it was in the 20th and certainly the 19th. Certain groups are becoming disenfranchised and they find it harder to try to reconcile NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

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their own power and position in today’s world compared to what it was and they can see that they’re losing because they are. You need to be concerned about the interest of everyone but a lot of people are alienated and lost. You often find that with particular white groups. Nexus: Why is it then you think people are alienated? Gillespie: Education has a lot to do with it. The ability to compete in the market place and get good jobs. Also the ability to integrate or not with their neighbours. Some people just live in fear of those who are different rather than put their hand across the fence and shake hands and realise how similar we all are. Some people just look at each other and just think that others are coming in and taking things from them but it is much bigger than that. Nexus: One of the most alarming trends seems to be how small the world is getting where previously things may have been limited to America. Brenton Tarrant, the Australian nationalist allegedly responsible for the Christchurch shooting, did he echo similar phrases that Trump himself had used? Gillespie: I haven’t read the manifesto and I won’t read it. I think he picked up on a theme of racism and Islamophobia that that was a common theme. The actions you show by the likes of Trump and others, they wouldn’t say it in a way that is directly racist, they’d give an indirect nod to proving it. Don’t get me wrong, Trumps not going to say the massacre in Christchurch was justifiable but you create a context in which there is a willingness to be critical of other cultures much more than we should be. But sometimes it’s alright to be critical of other cultures as well - everything is about balance. Nexus: In 2019, you described the Christchurch Terror Attack as completely foreseeable. Prior to that, you had stated that New Zealand could see another Aramoana. What were the warning signs and how do we prevent them moving forward? Gillespie: Those words came back to haunt me because the reasons it was foreseeable was because of the platform we had, the firearms, was a completely liberal firearm regime whereby anyone who was alienated and disenfranchised could go out and get hold of high power weaponry and convert it into something that should be restricted. That’s exactly what Tarrant did. I think what you saw with Tarrant is that there was a wave coming towards it. Kiwis wanted to believe that this wave was happening overseas, where you could see through the eyes of the mass shooting and see through the eyes of the right that it wasn’t going to happen here. And kiwis often do this, we tend to think we’re immune to international trends when in fact we’re often just the last part of the wave that gets hit. Unfortunately, when it did come we were so exposed and it was so bad. I do worry there will be another one. That there is still a lot of weaponry out there in the community and still a lot of angry people. The problem is that it’s not what we can see, it’s what we can’t see. While the police are doing great work and the SAS is doing great work, someone like Tarrant was effectively invisible and impossible to stop. I do worry that there are others out there like him. 10

Nexus: Can you see a pattern in society for when these events could happen? Gillespie: There is a pattern and the pattern often has to do with who’s in political power. In American with Biden in power, you’re often going to see more shootings and terror attacks of the extreme right against the left-wing than the other way around. In New Zealand, it’s hard because of the information we’re getting when there has been near terror attacks like saying someone at high school has got all the weaponry, a manifesto, and a plan, we often don’t see how close we were to previous attacks. It’s hard to predict what will be the next one. The biggest defence against an attack is in creating community. Until we’re at a point where people don’t feel scared of their neighbours and are much more inclusive and cosmopolitan is the best thing we can do to make ourselves feel safer. Everyone is looking for a silver bullet but often a simple thing is just being a good neighbour. Nexus: How dangerous are some of New Zealand’s nonnationalist fringe groups, the anti-vaxxers, the antifluoriders, and whatever the 5G weirdos call themselves? Gillespie: It depends on who you engage with. Within every group, there’s a spectrum. If you take one issue like 1080, some of their protests are pretty violent. You talk to some of the DOC workers who are at the forefront of those threats and it appears to be on the cusp of violence. In other instances with regards to people making threatening remarks towards muslims, some of the evidence suggests close to violence. Some of the times we’ve had young people arrested or detained who had access to firearms would appear close to violence. The risk is there and you see it in our status as a country. The SAS put out an annual report of where we are - we’re at medium risk so it’s quite possible. Nexus: Finally, looking at the Trump model, and how successful others have used it over the decades, why did it fail to catch on outside of a small disaffected group when Jami-Lee Ross and Billy Te Kahika tried to tie 5G to freedom and ride that wave into parliament? Gillespie: Part of the challenge here is that you and I talk to each other, we’re rational people and we know what evidence looks like so we know we have a debate. You’re not talking to these people. So, there’s a fringe group out there that is talking to itself and influential. Why didn’t it catch on? Kiwis are really good people. 99% of us are really smart people and we can actually work our way through common sense problems. I think, in some ways, it’s a victory scene for how small the support he got for that type of view. I don’t think that New Zealanders are as disaffected but that’s a continual response for everybody around us. We’ve all got to make sure our communities are educated, involved, and engaged. But having said that, kiwis can swing pretty right as well. Look at the Māori wards debate, what can seem like a real liberal community can all of a sudden become quite intolerant. It’s hard work but the challenge isn’t so much you and I talking, it’s talking to someone who’s not educated and being in their own little echo chamber. That is where it gets hard. So we’ve got to be continually vigilant to protect our values and who we are as a community.

Burger, sides and shakes ~ fast. Find us: 372 Grey St, Hamilton East

shakeout.co

@shakeoutnz

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TOP 10:

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME “I’m gay”

Difficulties in being a conspiracy theorist on campus

10. You want to post about the evils of 5G but the campus wi-fi is so shit. 9. Honestly, can you be sure that people are being silenced or are they just this week’s regular redundancies? 8. The closest thing to QAnon is UniQ and if you confuse those two you may end up broadening your horizons. 7. If you make a big deal about fluoride being in the water, Momento is going to find a way to charge extra for it. 6. To accuse some of the staff of being lizard people would risk insulting the lizard people. I mean they are evil but even they wouldn’t work for the Faculty of Law. 5. When you use the phrase, “Next, the government will take over all the healthcare” people just think you aren’t watching the news. 4. You’re right. There are catfish in the lake but if you change it, then Mei Wah Takeaways go out of business. Do you really want that on your conscience?

- Former US Bachelor Colton Underwood reveals truth about his sexuality.

“So proud of you! Live your truthhhhh”

- Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi leaving a comment on Colton Underwood’s first Instagram post.

“She gives me courage to sort of say whatever I want to say and be honest in telling my story,” - Olivia Rodrigo said of Cardi B

“She tried her best”

- Chrissy Teigen on Kim Kardashian and Kanye’s divorce.

NEXUS FIVE John Lawrenson

Brian Tamaki

This one might be too obvious but think about all the outlandish shit he has done to promote his bars (COVID, Israel Falou), think of everything that would have got any other person cancelled. But don’t think about it too long, you have to get ready to go to Coyote, House and Outback this weekend.

Think about how much you see Brian Tamaki in the news. Now think about whether you know where any of his churches are or what they do. The man has spun straw into gold, then used that gold to buy himself a yacht.

3. Anyone can uncover empathy-free autonomous drones incapable of sentient thought. They have a weekly Senior Leadership Meeting. 2. “Everyone at this University is just a puppet for a secret collective of carefree elitists.” Yeah they are called ducks, and you try saying no to them. 1. “QAnon is going to save us all from inbreeding and paedophile rings, and restore real education and knowledge.” I think you have the wrong University, Massey is in Taranaki.

A o w y B f w

Ngahau / 娱乐

NEXUS FAKE DATING

HOT OR NOT

ARMAND “ARMIE” HAMMER

Cars doing skids after it’s recently rained

About Me My name is Armie. I am a recently divorced billionaire (take my word for it, don’t Google me), actor in films you may have heard of like Call Me By Your Name where I play a charming, romantic gay man because I am a great actor, and films you may not have heard of like Lone Ranger where I am wealthy playboy with a dark secret identity. I am also the great-grand-son of an oil tycoon. But I don’t like to talk about that because he was responsible for an oil rig explosion and THAT was the ONLY great family scandal we have had.

Age: 34 Height: 1.96 m Weight: 154 lbs Likes: Food, Eating, Wine pairings, Dislikes: Veganism, Social Media

So what am I looking for in a woman? Apart from someone who pairs well with a nice Merlot? LOL. Just someone easy-going who isn’t afraid to try something new. Honestly, I am a little adventurous in the bedroom and like to bring food into sex. Not strawberries and chocolate, I have never understood why people mix savoury and sweet. A nice bearnaise sauce and a salad is really my kink. My dream woman? Recently I am more and more attracted to Amish women. Just that idea that they can lead a life free of the internet, mobile phones and newspapers. It really appeals to me. Contact: DefsNotACannibalArmie@yahoo.com

The Chiefs (surprisingly) A dirty Double Cheeseburger from Maccas Jeff Wittek (still) Moroccan Seasoning Something you bought online taking fucking ages to arrive Cars with Union Jacks on their rooves Strawberry flavoured milk (gag) APA referencing UV Vans

During the break, the University announced interim Director of Marketing Chris Day would be leaving. While Chris was great, his departure goes to a pattern of the University Marketing changes. We thought we would help them with the next appointment. Here are the Nexus Five choices for the next Director of Marketing

Briscoes Lady

Ella Quigley

Max Key

WOULD YOU RATHER? fall into a sinkhole caused by the hollow earth? OR have your tongue frozen to the ice wall surrounding the flat earth? only live with anti-vaxxers who are riddled with preventable illnesses? OR buy bottled water for an anti-fluoride activist for the rest of the year?

Almost the complete opposite of Tamaki, without Googling her, can you remember her name? But you know where fucking Briscoes is and when they have a sale.

Let’s be honest, at least a few of you wouldn’t be surprised if Neil gave his dog the gig. He brings her out any time the University wants to appear compassionate anyway.

Would it be likely that the University would hire the son of a former Prime Minister? Ask the Management School. Is Max Key relevant? No. That is two big ticks from recruitment.

rather be stuck on an island with Kanye West? OR be trapped in space with a Flat Earther? be a hot meal for Armie Hammer OR spread on a scone for Queen Elizabeth II? NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

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TRIPS ONLY $1.70 IN HAMILTON WITH YOUR BEE CARD

BUY AND TOP UP BEE CARDS AT THE STUDENT CENTRE

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NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

Jamie Strange MP for Hamilton East

07 839 6803 jamie.strange@parliament.govt.nz

Authorised by Jamie Strange MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington

Student Support

support@wsu.org.nz Tenancy

Academic Issues including Plagiarism Student Discipline

Financial Hardship

Winz and Postgraduate Issues

legal services

Atikara / 特辑

Hannah Petuha When I was young and impressionable I had trouble sleeping. Each night, after reading many books and never batting an eyelid, I would ask mum if I could nestle up while she watched Midsommar Murders, a 90s British television show I still watch today. I vividly remember one episode featuring a quaint Gypsy Fair in the country and ever since, I wanted to attend a whimsical fair like such, minus the murder of course. Now, Gypsy Fairs are hard to come by in Waikato. It’s difficult to gauge whether there is a fortune teller lingering in the Hilly over a pint. Nevertheless, there are prophecies among us. I say that mainly because it seems in today’s world, to not believe in some higher power is to be foolish. The world isn’t immune to a spiritual realm which brings me to an ultimate deduction; nothing is ever as it seems. Is the University breeding mutant catfish in the ponds? Is Stacey from Kahurangi Café Neil Quigly in disguise? Is UniRec pumping opium in their air vents to cloud our noses from questionable armpit odour? But perhaps the most engaging and non-uni related question of all, was Lorde’s 2015 secret onion ring account a foreshadow of COVID-19? When fans first started noticing strange activity from a strange Instagram account, there were few to no speculations of it being run by a celebrity overlord. But this wasn’t just any onion ring account, it was conjured specifically for review purposes. With only 24 followers, this person was not seeking attention. One onion ring was reviewed and consumed on an international flight

from Tennessee to New York. Who also happened to be travelling on a flight from Tennessee to New York? Lorde. But that is not the point, we already know it was run by her. What we didn’t know was the impact the onion ring account had on modern society. The government is lying to you, the notion that a virus emerged from a bat or an animal is illogical. And what happened when the virus gained traction and took over the world? Celebrities took to Instagram telling everyone to keep safe and push through. However, I argue that Lorde had prior knowledge of this virus and left hidden messages on her onion ring review account. I further add of it being a foreshadow of the terrible times to come. Why do I believe this? Pure facts. For one, onion rings appear in a deep-fried circular form. What else comes in a similar circular form? The virus under the microscope. For another, the virus spread astronomically fast infecting millions. Likewise, with Lorde, her music influenced millions through the likes of our ear canals. Ears = Listen + Circles? She was warning us all along. How? Illuminati or a group similar obviously, don’t take my word for it but if I disappear in a week or two you’ll know why. B et ween celebrit y overlords and questionable governments, it is times like these that bring out the best and worst of us. Mostly the worst because we seem to ruin everything we’re given some way or another, like exposing a once anonymous onion ring account. It is a strange world out there and only getting stranger, so who is to say this argument is a bunch of willy nilly gossip and not part of larger and more terrifying truths?

Toi Ataatu / 视觉艺术

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

NEXUS: NOW WITH 13% MORE FLUORIDE

S D L I U B S U X NE Alexander Nebesky Aliens, lizard-people, secret organisations of the wealthy and powerful, all explanations for the ever-present question: “Why is the world the way it is?” When you learn that bad things happen to good people and the world is essentially random, it can be unsettling. For some, it is more comforting to believe that bad things happen according to a plan - an evil plan but a plan nonetheless. The comfort comes from knowing that if it weren’t for this evil plan the world would essentially be good, the seeming randomness would lift, and the messiness and chaos of the world and all its tragedies and dilemmas would fade away. As appealing an idea as this is, the basic thought process behind it has spawned a huge variety of outlandish, and often racist, conspiracy theories from the Tsar of Russia’s Protocols of the Elders of Zion all the way to 2020’s 5G-Coronavirus theory. In the spirit of outlandish explanations for daily problems, big or small, we’ve put together a lego-set of conspiracy components for you to build into your very own grand unified theory of why the world is as terrible it is; or rather why you haven’t made a start on any of your imminently due assignments.

WHO?

You need to start with who is behind your conspiracy. You can start locally if you like, but to encompass everything that could possibly go wrong in your life and to appropriately apportion blame - the bigger the better. I’ve put together a few suggestions, essentially a greatest hits of global conspirators for you to slot into your conspiracy, and while some of them genuinely are evil (Amazon), any one will work. - The Bilderbergs - The Royal Family - The UN - The IMF - The World Bank - The Illuminati - Bill Gates - Amazon - Any Socialist or Left-Wing Government 22

THE PLOT

It sounds obvious, but the real meat of the conspiracy theory is exactly that - the conspiracy that is afoot. What makes a good conspiracy is the veneer of plausibility - we’ll get to the hows and whys later but the veneer of plausibility comes from weaving together a vaguely linked chain of happenings. A hundred years ago you might have picked the layout of Washington DC as an alien signal to channel cosmic energy, today you might pick data storage from website cookies as a tool for collecting human information to entrap us in some sort of Matrix-like digital prison. Whatever works and the sky’s the limit, but the key is to link real-world events together as if they were unified steps in a single plan, even if they are entirely unrelated.

THE MECHANICS

To deprive the entire population of their rights and turn them into subservient sheeple, an amorphous and allencompassing cabal of evil-doers needs some concrete steps to take. This is where you take your list of loosely connected events and find actions to prove that they are steps in a plan. It’s not enough to say that 5G towers were put up during COVID so that we couldn’t take action against the rollout - however, if we say that COVID was developed in a bio lab in Wuhan, which is the world’s first fully 5G active city in order to specifically prevent us protesting 5G, and then link that with the Spanish Flu a hundred years ago and the rollout of global radio then we’re starting to make a little more sense. It doesn’t hurt here to bend the truth a little too because of course if what you’re saying threatens to expose them, then the powers at be are going to disseminate fakes to counter your truths. Through control of _________, the ________ are ________ in order to ________. This all started in ____ with the signing of the ______, and________.

Atikara / 特辑

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NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

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EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE AFTER UNIVERSITY Any long-standing Nexus reader may well be familiar with Sex in the Tron, a little column I started in favour of creating some kind of amateur, malleable guidebook towards sex and dating in the age of young adulthood. I’ve reached a time now where, begrudgingly, writing a thesis takes precedence over all else, and have arrived at my final column. I will happily, gracefully pass the baton on to anyone eager enough to continue the crusade. Since this entire column is already a parody, let me rip off a famous female writer one last time and summarise, à la Dolly Alderton, everything I know about love. At least, what I know so far.

WE ALL WORRY OVER THE SAME INSECURITIES.

Whether you’re stressed about mechanical malfunctioning, an underwhelming penis, boobs that are too small, a weird vagina, fear over your sexual interests, anxiety about sex in general, body image concerns, a tendency to finish too quickly or not finish at all, I need to emphasize that virtually all of your peers share those same fears and imperfections. You are loved and wanted regardless.

LONELINESS IS INNATE

and a certain person or certain relationship will not solve everything. We tend to think that once we have a relationship, all our woes will be replaced with fulfilment, and life will automatically be fixed. That logic fails to consider that it is completely within the normal human nature to feel alone at times in that vast mind we possess (and that’s okay), just as it is within the human experience to feel like we’re seeking, lacking, or missing “something” that will fulfil us, and yet that “something” always remains just out of reach.

PEOPLE DO SHITTY THINGS. IT’S NOT PERSONAL.

Others do shitty things, we do shitty things. For starters, this is entirely a reflection of the person doing the maltreating, and not a reflection of your value as a person. Secondly, this is subjective to our own experience. You may be extremely hurt by someone this year, without even paying a thought to how you completely broke the heart of someone last year. We all think everything has to do with ourselves, but really, everyone’s facing their own struggles. You can retain your self-respect and walk away from a shitty situation without questioning your worth.

"WE ALL THINK EVERYTHING HAS TO DO WITH OURSELVES, BUT REALLY, EVERYONE’S FACING THEIR OWN STRUGGLES." HEARTBREAK IS DOWNRIGHT ESSENTIAL FOR STRENGTH AND ‘CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT’.

There is no arguing with the fact that heartbreak sucks. The healing process can be even more painful. It is, nonetheless, important. That healing requires isolation. Repressed, broken people still trying to date are only plastering over the pain, and in the long-term would do much better for

Pou / 专栏

the sake of themselves and for others to properly grieve and regroup, solo.

SEX IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

A relationship cannot be built purely on enjoyable sex. It’s a tool for pleasure and an important facet of connection with another person, but it is not the sole basis for love. Love can exist without sex. But sex can also exist without love.

BTW, DON’T GLORIFY PEOPLE WHO ARE ARSEHOLES. The person you like because they’re the hottest rugby player may not be the one that treats their partner the nicest. Notice the type of people you choose and the behaviour you tolerate. Respect your own boundaries, standards, and realise that it’s pointless to beg for the attention of people who simply don’t want to give it.

SELF-AWARENESS IS DOWNRIGHT NECESSARY.

If we can’t evaluate our own behaviour and be accountable for our own mistakes, how can we expect a partner to do the same? Without reflection, we can easily keep making bad decisions, or continue to let our fears of rejection or judgement hold back our true feelings. We have to be willing to accept and work continually on our own faults if we can ever hope to grow.

DO NOT SELL YOUR INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM NOR EXPECT SOMEONE TO SELL THEIRS.

When we love someone, it’s easy to give too much of ourselves away. We minimise time spent with friends, on our hobbies, or valuable time alone. We mesh with them, eager to please, and become watered-down versions of our partners and a ghost of our former selves. Really, there is no need to rush. Slow down. Give them time and space, just as you deserve your own.

THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN TRULY CONTROL IS YOURSELF.

We can only meet someone where they are, rather than holding on to something in the hope of who they might be, or how we could possibly mould them into that person. That is just twisting someone to reflect an image of your own desires. Just as you want the freedom to express yourself as you are, they too need that privilege. We aren’t in a relationship to be anybody’s parent, trainer, or teacher. And the only way we can help others understand our boundaries and expectations in a relationship is through communication. Do not expect others to read your mind.

BE OPEN TO LEARNING.

You were not born knowing how to behave, communicate and react perfectly, so be willing to work on it. As for intimacy? There’s a difference between sex and good sex. The key to making it good is evident enthusiasm, asking questions, learning what you like in your own body, being willing to explore, put in mutual effort, and learn from one another.

A GOOD RELATIONSHIP HAS TO BE BUILT, AND REBUILT - CONSTANTLY.

Love isn’t like what we see in movies, TV shows, books, or even porn. What is important is finding a person with good, shared values, who treats you with respect; we’re seeking a great foundation for building on, not expecting to stumble on some magical, perfectly built castle. No one

"LOVE CAN EXIST WITHOUT SEX. BUT SEX CAN ALSO EXIST WITHOUT LOVE." was ‘made for you’ in a perfect package with every feature you ever fantasised about. Even if you stick to thinking you’ve found your ‘soulmate’, every relationship comes in swings and roundabouts. Just like you may experience dry spells or monsoons in your single life, there are super great times and extremely tough times in a relationship. Regular maintenance keeps the building strong.

IS LOVE A FEELING OR A CHOICE? A CHOICE.

Feelings change, spike, trough, and fade. If you stick with the belief that it’s this ‘spark’ and this powerful chemical rush of lust is equal to love, your relationships cannot last. No euphoric high lasts forever. It’s a conscious, often difficult, choice to commit to somebody. So love is a lifelong choice, not merely a feeling.

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST: THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH LOVING YOURSELF.

You are your own home. Treat yourself nicely. Work on this relationship the most often, and keep it regularly fed with love and compassion. You will be there for you through everything that comes in life. Before all else, treat yourself with love.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

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SPORTS THOUGHTS

Oliver Dunn Amongst a plethora of real news about infinitely more important things, there is one story out there that demands your complete attention. Regardless of your hobbies, dietary requirements or opinion on soft shell tacos, you will all know and appreciate the terror of the tyrannosaurus rex. The undisputed number one draft pick in the dinosaur fantasy draft. The Beyoncé of the boy band Rex and the Raptors. The megastar of the prehistoric genre and the scariest fucking creature to ever exist. You probably know the T-rex from it’s many cameos in the Jurassic Park franchise, but what if I told you the oversized lizard might need a character re-write?

Josh Umbers Look, I don’t follow football too closely anymore, and I haven’t for the last few years. It doesn’t really interest me much - the last time I was interested would’ve been in 2017 when Huddersfield was promoted to the Premier League. But when I heard that these top dog clubs were coming together to form a ‘Super League’, I thought “well fuck me, are these money hungry owners not satisfied enough with their already huge wads of cash that they take home from their respective leagues”. I also wondered what the hell is the point of the Champions League if there’s going to be some mid week competition? Did they really just expect everyone to break tradition and follow suit?

Celina Suarez, associate professor of geosciences at the University of Arkansas, was part of the team that discovered dino bones in Utah. The remains of five tyrannosaurs were found allowing Suarez and her crew to connect the dots on the habits of one of history’s greatest predators.

Well obviously not. They really thought that breaking away from all of the leagues and associations and forming a league on their own wouldn’t cause any turbulence within the football world, and it’s safe to say they thought wrong. All my diehard football fans and news outlets absolutely clogged my Facebook news feed until the teams one by one announced they were going to pull out and apologised for their mistake. I’d like to think that this was solely because they saw the essay that my mate wrote on Facebook. This same mate of mine plays for UoA and thinks he’s the man. So he reckons that he at least has some influence in the world of football.

“This supports our hypothesis that these tyrannosaurs died on this site and were all fossilised together. They all died together, and this information is key to our interpretation that the animals were likely gregarious in their behaviour,” said Suarez.

I think it comes down to the fact that despite taking a wrong step forward, the clubs recognised that a Super League isn’t what the fans want, and rectified it. It’s all over for now, but man do those clubs have some redeeming to do.

A recent study has revealed that the big scary carnivore wasn’t a solitary hunter as previously thought and likely hunted in packs, like wolves. WOLVES BRO. Has there ever been a bigger no thank you when it comes to imagining things?

Now picture yourself a young, plump stegosaurus having just finished college. Despite a sizeable debt in stones from a degree in Applied Water Hole Analysis majoring in Not Eating Your Own Shit, you are in high spirits. The world is your huge prehistoric oyster, or at least it was. You find yourself suddenly surrounded by three T-rex, all wearing leather jackets and all with their hair slicked back despite not having the actual arm length to comb it themselves. Perhaps you could have goose-stepped the first one, maybe a perfectly timed “look over there” fools the second. But three? Nah man that’s a wrap, you’re T-rex toast.

Pou / 专栏

G RO W I N G THE FUCK UP Alan Baunchmy Have you dedicated yourself to the pursuit of becoming a big bubbly wubbly muscle man? Have you kept up a streak of posting *treats* stories in order to maintain the guise of a balanced diet so nobody questions your crippling eating disorder? If you’ve answered yes to any of the above, chances are you’re either a blessed gym-bro on the path to physical enlightenment. Or you’re an insufferable cunt that people only maintain a distant relationship with so they can take the piss out of your Instagram to their real friends. Or maybe you spent your entire youth overweight and now the burden of those wasted years has made pain pleasurable and left you with some hefty body dysmorphia. Regardless, within this wasteland of fitness fads and get ripped quick schemes it’s almost impossible to sustainably reach your goals. People will try and tell you that “maintaining a sustainable calorie deficit with a balanced diet, an active lifestyle, and a healthy sleep schedule is a great way to lose weight.” WRONG. What you really need is heartbreak. I ’m not talking about some sappy 2-month fling that you’ll forget about in a couple of days, I’m talking about that real shit. That kind of relationship where your parents love them more than they love you, years of unfiltered emotions and unabashed honesty which forms a bond you’re incapable of imagining life without. Once you’ve reached that point of everything being a little too good, just wait. Before long they’ll abruptly throw it all away for the freedom of fondling and being fondled by anyone who isn’t you. Your mum will start to cry as your dad stoically reaffirms the embarrassment he feels towards you. You spend weeks endlessly searching for something to fill the void, convincing yourself it’s not real, that it’s just a mistake, you try justify that you’d be fine if they just wanted to fuck around for a couple of months as long as they’d eventually be yours again. Pathetic. It’s at this point where you need to look in the mirror, look at the damage that years of a healthy relationship has caused, the “I know they’re about to break up with me but I’m too scared to accept it” comfort pounds, you’re a mess. Now’s the perfect time to channel your pain, throw yourself into a blinding fury of obsessive and unhealthy habits, manically workout, fuel yourself with self-hatred and the insatiable urge to make them regret ever leaving you - abandon your personality and adorn your new physique with a full kit of Gymshark and ensure you’re never seen without a shaker in hand.

WSU SUPPORT WSU We have all been there, right? The time you got into an argument over a grade with a lecturer and now you aren’t sure if you are being treated fairly. What about the time when you knew there was enough money in your account but the bank took out a shitty fee and now rent is looking pretty shaky. The problem isn’t that you are going through these things (although it absolutely is), the problem is you don’t know where to go when these things happen. It’s natural for you to think your problems aren’t big enough to justify reaching out, particularly if you know so many other students dealing with the same issues. It is also completely understandable if you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone from the University who’s old enough to be your grandparent and probably studied at a time when mullets were actually attractive. That’s kind of where we come in. The WSU is a shoulder to lean on, a microphone for your voice and the bread for your sausage (which sounded a lot more appropriate before we wrote it down). It’s a support network on campus, for students. One that you are probably already a free member of and even if you aren’t, it doesn’t matter. Ultimately we are here to help students. We know what you are going through because most of us either are students or were in the last few years. Over the next trimester and a half, we will be walking you through everything from hardship to academic issues. If you have any specific questions or need help, email support@ wsu.org.nz

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

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REVIEWS

Nexus uses the scale of -5 to +5 for reviews. To give it context +5 is Legally Blonde, -5 is every season of Riverdale after the first. And a zero is where it was bland enough not to warrant an opinion; like Jamie Strange.

-1

MORTAL KOMBAT “Better isn’t a synonym for good” To say Mor tal Kombat exceeded my expectations would be true, but that is in part because they were exceedingly low to begin with. I did really enjoy this movie but I am wondering how much of that has to do with my decision to watch the first two failed attempts Mortal Kombat (1995) and Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997) right before it. Anything looks better when framed with how far we have come. The absolute star of this was Josh Lawson’s Kano, to learn a lot of his dialogue was improvised only makes it more impressive. The movies biggest failing is that it papers over its one big issue with admittedly great CGI and fight scenes, that while no John Wick up the gore value.

+2 BRAM STOKERS DRACULA LUKA LOVE Sometimes, and admittedly only sometimes, it is worth reading the classics. They just might surprise you. Contrary to many of the cinematic portrayals of this iconic novel, the book is actually quite beautiful. It weaves and wanders through numerous scenes and subplots stretching from the Carpathian mountains to the sleepy seasides of England, and although often the subject of criticism, it is in these that the book comes most alive. The descriptions of the scenery are graceful, the episode involving Lucy sublime, and the human Renfield is creepier than the novel’s titular character. The depiction of the vampire himself is so cleverly written that even in the context of the book it is hard to pick apart what is genuinely true and what are the fear-induced imaginings of the protagonists. Much like the news today. It’s not a difficult read so if you’re looking for a break from the monotony of your normal life, this could be it.

That big issue is its lack of plot development. Outside of an excellent opening seven minutes nothing is really explored. You could argue that it is setting up a trilogy but they seemingly kill off the most compelling characters. The villans, are given no motivations whatsoever.Cole, the newly crafted protagonist doubts his purpose for about five minutes of screen time. Sonya and Jax are special forces but that tells you nothing. Lui Kang and Kung Lao should have been the real focus of the movie. Again, Kano declaring that he wants a “fucking superpower” is about the only clear motive in all this. This movie is bet ter than both previous Mor tal Kombat’s, it is better than Street Fighter, DOA, that weird Chun Li film. It is good enough that I wasn’t bored. That I want to watch the sequels to see where it goes and who will play Cage. But is it good enough to be more than a -1? Nah

+3 THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER CAITLIN WALTERS-FREKE After the success of WandaVision, there was even more pressure on The Falcon and the Winter Soldier to be just as good, if not better. Luckily for us, it succeeded.

Arotake / 点评 In a departure from the usual “buddy cop” show, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan get the opportunity to shine as Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes respectively which is something the MCU hadn’t done previously. You watch Sam struggle with taking up the identity of Captain America and Bucky’s attempts to make amends with the Winter Soldier victims. The main villain of the series, the Flag smashers, aren’t like typical MCU villains and are motivated by something other than becoming more powerful or destroying the world. They make you think about the inequality between those who survived the snap and those who didn’t.

+3 RETRO REVIEW: HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

It’s definitely worth a watch whether you’re a die-hard MCU fan or a casual consumer of superhero content.

QUINN MCKAY With the announcement of “How I Met Your Father”, a sequel to the beloved sitcom “How I Met Your Mother”, I thought it would be a good time to binge all nine seasons. However, let’s be honest, we all have that flatmate constantly watching it on repeat (and for a good reason), so you never really forget it.

+1 THE IRREGULARS SARAH HYDE Welcome to a weird part of history, where the Author responsible for penning some of your childhood nightmares, was also an RAF Pilot turned Secret Agent. In 1940, the British Government sent secret agents to carry out ‘irregular’ work; planting propaganda, spying on socialites and manipulating members of government. And they chose to send Roald Dahl, now known for his children’s books, but back then just a man undertaking as much drinking, and much debauchery as he could, all in the name of the war effort. When I saw this book, I had to read it. It’s got everything a good story needs: Nazis, gin, spies, and international travel. But for all that excitement, The Irregulars fell a little flat for me. It read a bit like a textbook - while some parts were gripping, these were held back by numerous secondary characters to keep track of, and a lot of history to digest. That said, if you’re willing to persevere, and happy to learn along the way, then it’s definitely worth a read, if only to find out how to seduce in the style of Roald Dahl (no giant peaches included).

The show is a feel-good sitcom with some raw and profoundly sad moments thrown in. A cast of distinctive but relatable characters, unique structure, and numerous running gags such as the slap bet, “haaaaaave you met Ted?”, and doppelgangers which leave you entertained and make you feel as though you are part of the gang. If you haven’t watched it in a while, I suggest giving it another viewing and taking a nostalgia trip to McLaren’s bar and catching up with the gang. Although some were disappointed with the ending, it’s a classic and still better than The Big Bang Theory.

SINGLE SENTENCE REVIEWS +4

Six60 - Concert at Eden Park Sometime recently, Six60 became New Zealand’s Nickelback but like the latter, who fucking cares about what the internet sheeple think? Their music is fun, Sir Dave Dobbyn rocks and saxophones are cool.

Narcos - Netflix Series The tale of notorious drug kingpin Pablo Escobar, a billionaire who produced and distributed a fuck load of cocaine. You’ll learn more Español in this series than you ever will using Duolingo.

Leave (Get Out) by James Bluck A JoJo original meets shitty Eurodance. It’s a love-hate kind of thing that’ll force you to relive any and all of your teenage trauma. Tropical Blaze Flavour - Greenhill Seltzers Tastes like someone downed a Golden Pash and burped into a can of soda water. Not as good as the Elderflower flavour but still not the worst thing to be drinking on a Saturday. NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

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DIRECTOR BIO Kia ora, bwanji, and many more world greetings to you! I'm an Afro-Kiwi gal that's incredibly proud of my Zambian heritage but also really proud to call Aotearoa and the mighty Waikato my home. I'm in my third year of a conjoint Bachelor of Laws with Honours and a Bachelor of Business majoring in Finance. When I'm not putting hard mahi into my conjoint, you can catch me confronting cheeky first

WUTA is an opportunity for like-minded Te Kura Toi Tangata School of Education students to develop their teaching philosophy through events with other students,insight from industry leaders, first-hand experiences, and interacting withthe community that is the Faculty of Education. The goals of the association include creating a positive community within the Division of Education, enhancing students teaching philosophy through events, workshops, and school, as well as preparing and inspiring students for their future teaching careers and helping benefit future students of the programme with feedback. If you have any questions, please email wuta.info@gmail.com We also have a Facebook and Instagram page, just search WUTA. If you see a board member around campus, feel free to come and say hi, we are always keen for a chat.

On a more serious note, this year I have the absolute privilege of being the WSU Vice-President. I say privilege because I'm incredibly passionate about students having an empowering university experience and ensuring that students are at the center of every decision made by our University. To have the opportunity to exercise this passion in my everyday work is a privilege. As WSU Vice-President I chair Te Pou Whirinaki (The Student Advisory Council). I am also on various committees such as the Academic Board, the Student Services Governance Committee (SSGC) and the Special Consideration Committee. Kotahitanga, empowerment, advocacy and wholesome vibes are four principles that will continue to underpin my time on this year's board. Mafuno onse abwino (warm regards) - Lushomo

CLUB BIO

WAIKATO UNIVERSITY TEACHING ASSOCIATION

years that insist on calling me an aunty. You also might catch me hitting a new deadlift PR at Unirec or jamming to afro-beats, spinning yarns or chowing down a donburi at Bongo.

Āhua Noho / 生活

Kiwi

Scone

Slightly Stoned Chef Slightly Stoned Chef makes its triumphant return to Nexus. Each week we will be giving you an easy to follow recipe for those times when you just need something quick and easy (Copyright College Hall). This won’t be the place for your Nan’s Crème Brûlée but if you need to up your noodle game or impress your girlfriend, we have you covered. These aren’t exclusively 3am recipes. Some of them are for when you decide to wake and want to bake. But since this is the first one we thought we would highlight the difference between being slightly stoned (or drunk) and too stoned to cook using the classic Kiwi Scone.

SLIGHTLY STONED

TOO STONED

Tip out onto a floured bench and form into a 'round'.

Realise scone is the easiest anagram for cones, then see if you remember where you left your cone.

Carefully lift and place onto the baking tray and cut into wedges (leave with sides touching - scones will pull apart after baking).

Remember that in America they call scones, biscuits. Think about ditching the scone idea and just having biscuits.

Alternatively, use a cookie cutter or knife to cut into rounds or squares.

Come to the conclusion you don’t have biscuts but wonder if the only reason we call them biscuts, is because we cut them into shapes. Which makes you think if we just cooked one large one and left it, is it just a Bis?

Bake for about 15 to 20 minutes until golden. Check they are cooked through.

Ask Google that before realising you were misspelling biscuits this whole time.

cool on a wire rack, covered with a clean tea towel (this keeps the scones soft).

Google scones and biscuits. Realise Texas Chicken on Five Cross Roads does Honey Butter Buns.

Cut in half and spread with butter, jam and whipped cream whilst still warm.

Uber Eats them and BurgerFuel.

Preheat oven to 220°C. Cover an oven tray with a sheet of baking paper or spray well with non-stick baking spray. Mix all ingredients in a bowl to form a smooth dough.

INGREDIENTS

4 cups self raising flour 300ml cream ¼ cup white sugar 300ml lemonade ½ tsp salt

Spend 15 minutes trying to figure out if it is sc-on or sco-ne, by saying it at various speeds till the words lose all meaning.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

NEXUS: NOW WITH 13% MORE FLUORIDE

S & CRAF T R

OIL H A

For most of us tinfoil hats are simply a part of a slutty astronaut costume or for wrapping weed. But for some, these hats are an invaluable accessory used to prevent the government from scanning their brainwaves and to protect them from mind-reading, red-powerade-drinking robots. For whatever purpose, we’ve got you covered.

Material: - Roll of tinfoil - Sellotape (optional) - Soft tape measure - A head

Method: 1. Measure your head using a soft tape measure, measuring from the middle of your forehead to the base of your skull. 2. Using clean, premium-brand foil (known for blocking out 5G waves most effectively), measure and cut double the length from your forehead to skull, plus four inches. 3. Fold the foil in half, with the shiny side facing out. 4. Place the sheet of foil over your head and scrunch it down to follow the shape of your skull. 5. If any exposed scalp remains, attach additional pieces of foil to cover and adhere using sellotape. 6. Don your hat. We a r y o u r n e w h a t a t a ny t i m e o r p l a c e to screen your thoughts from extraterrestrial-alien, governmental, or other types of surveillance. For maximum protection, wrap foil around not just the head, but the entire face and skull. 32

Wheako / 体验

Ooooky Spooky Scores for Studying - BRONWYN LAUNDRY

If you’re anything like me, you can’t study while listening to any music with a melody because your monkey brain will get distracted and start trying to follow along. To combat this, I’ve created the ultimate sp0o0o0oky orchestral soundtrack to write essays, research conspiracy theories, or just generally feel like you’re in a heist movie.

1. Summer Overture - Clint Mansell (Requiem For a Dream)

6. Jaws Main Theme - John Williams

Honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to caption any of these

Wow, sharks, very nice.

other than ‘wow violins, very nice’.

7. Psycho Main Theme - Bernard Herrmann Wow, shower death, very nice.

2. Dream Is Collapsing - Hans Zimmer (Inception) Wow, Leo DiCaprio, very nice.

8. Pirates of The Caribbean Main Theme - Hans Zimmer Wow, pirates, very nice.

3. Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven Wow, piano, very nice.

9. The Shining Main Theme - Wendy Carlos, Rachel Elkind Wow, Kubrick, very nice.

4. The Exorcist Main Theme - Jack Nitzsche Wow, demon children, very nice.

10. Requiem, K. 626: Lacrimosa - Mozart Wow, Mozart, very nice.

5. Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd Wow, stoner music, very nice.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

NEXUS: NOW WITH 13% MORE FLUORIDE

WINNER

Keen for some free BurgerFuel? Snap nexusmag the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. Collect from the WSU reception in the SUB.

PRIVATE MESSAGE TO BACHELOR It was Tuesday. I had just got home and to put it bluntly, I was shitting myself. I decided to partake in a couple of alcoholic antics (one goon & a few games of beer pong) to ease my nerves. After doing a couple of role play situations and getting some solid advice from my mates like “don’t be yourself”, I so I wasn’t completely blindsided. Apparently, I didn’t do a very good job of hiding because my date said that he did in fact see me as soon as he walked in. However, this could be because I had in fact known my date for seven years (the top NZ athlete part was a bit of a stretch, sorry). Not gonna lie, the conversation was flowing but consisted mainly of us talking some absolute shit about the people we went to high school with. It was funny realising that the friends who brought us to the date were best friends, so unsure how we didn’t find out about each other sooner. The highlight of my night was chowing down the big, beefy burger which my friends told me not to get because apparently, I eat slightly awkward in the car when my flat mate pipes up and says, “Are you not gonna bring him considering it was my first one - I don’t really have anything to compare it to. My friends thought it was fucking hilarious and I suppose it makes for a good story, maybe an icebreaker for the next date? Wouldn’t mind going on another date with someone I haven’t known for seven years.

PRIVATE MESSAGE TO BACHELORETTE My mate pressured me into doing this Nexus Blind date and when this idea came to my mind, I thought I might be in for a good night and meeting the potential woman I would one day put my babies into. Last friday I was chilling out on a friday night with the boys having some beers then I received a reply from Nexus saying they have a “Sporty girl” waiting for me next Tuesday. I was beyond excited to hear this news and was really looking forward to what was in store for me. When I arrived at House On Hood, I got seated and was patiently waiting for a solid 10 minutes,then all of a sudden I saw this young black haired woman start walking up to where I was sitting and she said “Hey Josh, How’s it going?” I looked up and this woman happened to be a girl I have known since year 9 in High School, CMTFU. RIP.FFS! Why did I know this was going to Happen LMAO anyway, As we sat down, we both got stitched up big time by our friends. We began to have a chat about all the high school drama as well as uni dramas and came to realise we had quite a bit in common. The cocktails kept on coming and then we started yapping on about our sporting backgrounds. It was fair to say lifeguard back in high school so she did have a sporting background which was better than nothing. began to realise that she was about to leave me alone. I quickly pounced on this uncertainty and managed to get a ride back to mine without being awkwardly hanging at House by myself. All in all thanks Nexus for this opportunity, this girl had very good chat so it was good to talk to someone instead of talking to a brick wall.

NEXUS

BLIND DATE

Our previous Blind Date caused a little controversy due to the nature of painfully honest men. With this, Nexus had high hopes for the next pair. She is a beer pong enthusiast looking for something new. You could say this Blind Date reminds us vaguely of an Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore film. WANT TO GO ON A BLIND DATE? EMAIL US AT: EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

NEXUS: NOW WITH 13% MORE FLUORIDE

LABYRINTH

50 by 82 orthogonal maze

SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR FORSIMPLE PEOPLE Spot the difference between these two photos.

ALGE-BRUH + + = 12 + + = 19 + + = 28

HOROSCOPES

+ +

= = =

AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 18 The biggest shock to come from the Oscars last week, was the Pinocchio movie. How did the entire world manage to miss the release of this award-winning nightmare?

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20 We’re heading into winter, and Hamilton is getting colder, and damper. This is literally a reclaimed swampland, what’d you expect?

PISCES FEB 19 - MAR 20 This is a reminder to change your sheets, again. And to have a good, hard think about whether you want to be the guy who only changes his sheets when a magazine says so.

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUN 20 If you were worried that 2021 was falling flat already - fear not: Licorice flavoured Toffee Pops are now available at the supermarket!

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 19 Yeah the Chiefs! I’d say you should bet on them next week, because we’ve got a win in the bag this time. But that’s probably illegal of me to say, so don’t.

CANCER JUN 21 - JUL 22 You’re cutting your assignments even closer to the deadlines these days - was that Elemeno P song written for you? “It’s 11:57 and I’m running out of time”.

WORDFIND

4 9 2 SUDOKU 4 9 9 4 2

W W W

n° 125993 - Level Easy

1sudoku.com

n° 125993 - Level Easy

2 2 3 2 3 4 3 4 4 9 6 9 8 6 4 9 6 4 8 4 8 5 6 5 6 5 6

1sudoku.com

CONSPIRACY FLUORIDE Clinton FLAT Coronavirus TRUMP Global Warming TITANIC Antichrist CORONAVIRUS Deepwater Horizon ANTICHRIST

2 2 9 2 9 9 3 3 7 3 8 7 8 7 8

1sudoku.com

7 7 7 2 2 2

6 6 7 6 7 3 7 3 3

7 7 5 4 7 5 4 4 5

8 8 1 8 1 7 1 7 7 1 2 1 2 7 1 2 7 2 5 7 5 2 2 5

7 7 4 9 6 7 4 9 6 6 4 9 1 8 1 4 8 1 4 8 4 1 1 6 1 6 6

6 6 6

n° 125993 - Level Easy

7 7 5 7 5 5 2 2 2

n° 210905 - Level Medium n° 210905 - Level Medium

6 7 6 7 6 9 7 9 9 6 6 3 6 3 3

n° 210905 - Level Medium

6 6 6 7 7 7 8 8 2 8 2 2

3 3 7 3 7 5 7 5 5 4 4 4

Hard

TINFOIL PEGBOARD SYNDICATE ANTIVAX Tinfoil Fluoride Trump BERMUDATRIANGLE ILLUMINATI Pegboard Bermuda triangle Twin Towers EARTH EPSTEIN Conspiracy Illuminati Catholicism TWINTOWERS CATHOLICISM Syndicate Flat Earth MALAYSIAAIRLINES CLINTONTitanic Anti Vax Epstein Malaysia Airlines GLOBAL WARMING DEEPWATERHORIZON

4 4 4

1sudoku.com

Meduim

1sudoku.com

Easy

3 3 Created with TheTeachersCorner.net Word Search Maker Find these words. Or don't. Maybe that is exactly what we want you to think. 4 9 9 2 3 3 1 5 4 8 9 5 4 3 1 8 N F S R V I A P C G L L W K H X I S T Q 2 4 6 9 1 5 3 1 5 8 2 1 4 6 2 9 1 7 5 L V Y E H C V J O M E F I X H C L Z B H 2 4 6 9 1 5 H Q N A Z A I O R G A L O D G L L E E W 5 1 6 4 2 1 3 7 2 2 1 3 7 2 5 1 6 4 4 8 6 1 G U D K S T K A O S R U A T E N U P R F 5 6 4 4 6 1 3 2 8 1 2 7 V O I P L H N N N E T O C Y O D M S M H 8 4 7 6 1 7 1 2 5 4 Q O C Y B O P T A N H R H M P E I T U Z 7 5 7 1 2 4 R D A N P L H I V I L I D D E E N E D D 7 1 5 4 Name:

n° 314948 - Level Hard n° 314948 - Level Hard

LEO JUL 23 - AUG 22 There were reports of a “Pink Super Moon” last week. Exactly what it sounds like, unless it sounds like P!nk mooned someone, in which case, not what it sounds like.

SCORPIO1sudoku.com OCT 23 - NOV 21 n° 314948 - Level Hard DoesPlay it these really count as a mid-trimester sudoku puzzles on your mobile and findbreak their solutions by flashing if the whole time puzzles you’re fending offand remarks n° 125993 n° 126102 n° 210905 n° 22988 Play these sudoku on your mobile find their solutions by flashing fromn°Play your family “On 125993 n° 126102 holiday already? n° 210905 Do n° 22988 these sudoku like, puzzles on your mobile and find their solutions by flashing students n° 125993 ever even study?” n° 126102 n° 210905 n° 22988

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEP 22 Six60 just pulled off a sellout show at Eden Park. They’ve come a long way from the days of university, when Matiu left his dishes in the sink for a month (I assume).

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21 Jealous of the blood donors above? Mars is in your zone, so you too can do a selfless deed of Page 1/1 - Check the solutions, print more sudoku puzzles for free and your choosing. Just no adopting pets. You’re not Page 1/1 - Check the solutions, print more sudoku puzzles for free and as responsible as you think.

LIBRA SEP 23 - OCT 22 If you’re looking for a sign to get back with your ex, this is absolutely not it. Don’t do it. You broke up for a reason, remember?

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19 Jupiter is in your zone this month, which means if you meet the NZ Blood criteria, you should sign up to give blood! It saves lives and most importantly, you get free biscuits afterwards.

Page 1/1 - Check the solutions, print more sudoku puzzles for free and

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 8

NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE INTO, UNIREC'S GOT YOU COVERED

RUN FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T

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MAY 9, 2021 - 11PM RUN UNITED WITH THE WORLD TO HELP FIND A CURE FOR SPINAL INJURY