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NEWS BLUES
Carlos Ruiz, 42, stole a sound system and other valuables from a home in Haddon Township, N.J., according to police, who TAKE identified him as their suspect after he returned a half-hour later for the remote he forgot the first time. (NJ.com)
QUICK
Compiled by Roland Sweet
Jen Sorensen
Curses, Foiled Again Christopher Brent Fulton, 30, surrendered to authorities after seeing his photo as the suspect being sought for attempted bank robbery in Midwest City, Okla. He handed the teller a holdup note written on the back of a personal check but left it behind when he fled empty-handed, thinking he had tripped an alarm. The personal information on the check had been scratched out with a pen, but investigators were still able to read it and determine it belonged to Fulton’s mother. (Oklahoma City’s KOCO-TV)
As CEO of ExxonMobil, Rex Tillerson promotes hydraulic fracturing and condemns its critics and “dysfunctional regulation” that he insists “is holding back the American economic recovery, growth and global competitiveness.” As a homeowner, however, Tillerson has joined a lawsuit to block construction of a 160-foot tower next to his $5 million Texas home that would supply water to a nearby fracking site. The suit argues that the project would cause too much noise and traffic. Tillerson’s lawyer said his client’s concern is about the devaluation of his property, not fracking, although fracking opponent Rep. Jared Police (D-Colo.) responded to Tillerson’s suit by announcing, “We are thrilled to have the CEO of a major international oil and gas corporation join our quickly multiplying ranks.” (The Wall Street Journal)
Child’s Play The driver of a car that got stuck in a ditch in Vestoppland, Norway, told a passing snowplow operator that he ran off the road while making a U-turn to return home to get his driver’s license. When the plow operator eyed him suspiciously, the diminutive driver explained that he was a dwarf. He was actually a 10-yearold boy joyriding with his 18-month-old sister in their family car. “He asked for help to tow his vehicle so they could continue their journey,” police Officer Kai Lyshaugen said. Instead, the plow operator notified the authorities. (United Press International)
Poutine for Potholes Saskatchewan’s Prairie Energy has discovered that used cooking oil from restaurants is an effective topping for dusty rural roads. “It basically penetrates about an inch and a half,” explained the company’s Mark Hryniuk, who came up with the idea. “As you drive on it, it gets harder and harder. And it looks like poor man’s pavement. We’ve done complete villages already.” (CBC News)
“My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”
— MIKE MYERS
NIMBY Nincompoop
Second-Amendment Rites As the number of guns sold in America rises, gun safes are enjoying record sales and becoming centerpieces of home decor. “Because they are so pretty, people are putting them in their front rooms,” said Brandon Payne, of Liberty Safe, which sells 500 safes a day, most of them big ones costing more than $1,000 and able to withstand hours of exposure to fires and being dropped from 200 feet. Competitors, such as Fort Knox and Browning, offer customized safes with wood-paneled interiors, dehumidifiers and lighting kits on the inside, and biometric locks and artwork on the outside. (The Economist)
A Friend Indeed After Chicago Transit Authority train operator Brittney Haywood crashed into an escalator at O’Hare International Airport, sending 32 passengers to local hospitals, the head of CTA’s rail union vowed to fight any attempt to terminate her, even though she admitted dozing off at the controls for the second time in two months. Robert Kelley, president of Amalgamated Transit Union Local 308, said, “Come on. We’ve all dozed off driving a train (or a car). There’s a difference between dozing off and falling asleep.” (Chicago Sun-Times)
IN OTHER CRAZINESS: I’m trying to figure out what to make for the Fourth of July. Hamburgers and hot dogs get a lot of attention, but the Fourth is really the blueberry’s day to shine. When you need a blue food to round out your red, white and blue items, there’s nowhere else to turn but the blueberry. — Jimmy Kimmel The Learning Channel’s new show is called Buying Naked. It’s a reality show about nudists buying houses. You know the thing about nakedness: People say I want to see you naked and then you see somebody naked and you think, ‘Oh, I spoke too soon.’ It is better in the concept form. — Craig Ferguson
MCFLURRY MADNESS
When a man refused to buy a woman with him a McFlurry at a McDonald’s restaurant in Jacksonville, Fla., witnesses said the woman headed for his car, poured alcohol and gasoline on it, lit it on fire and then ran off. After people helped the man put out the fire, he drove away. (Orlando’s WFTV-TV)
Dr. M. Robert Neulander, long before murder charge, lost much of his practice in longshot fight with Excellus (syracuse.com) Excellus says Neulander’s billing practices netted him $1.8 million in overpayments. Can you say greed? — Syracuse residents use video surveillance cameras to fight crime (syracuse. com) It’s a shame residents have to take matters into their own hands. — Five DWI charges in five years for hit-n-run suspect (localsyr. com) Old habits die hard. — Firework explodes in man’s hand in Fulton (localsyr.com) Ouch! A clear reminder to leave fireworks to the professionals. — Overwhelmed, police use helicopter to break up Pompey house party (cnycentral. com) 500 to 700 people, now that’s a party!
syracusenewtimes.com | 07.09.14 - 07.15.14
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