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marriages were in suspension. When the 9th Circuit Court finally lifted its stay on June 28, couples across the state of California rushed to get married. Although friends worried that marriage equality would be revoked, Miller and Shaner opted to wait for their chosen date. They’d already filed their domestic partnership that spring, and they wanted their marriage ceremony to be perfect. The ceremony was held on a hot Saturday afternoon in early October, just a few wet feet from the spreading waves. Shaner spent that morning setting up an arch and bridal doors made from birch trees from her best friend’s property. Anchoring the structures in the sand took hours, and Shaner advises other wedding couples to allow extra time before the ceremony to relax. “We were down on the beach sweating bullets and raking the beach out, bucking down all the chairs, and trying to put the arch up,” she says. Miller and Shaner chose many traditional elements for their wedding: Shaner didn’t see the bridal gown until Miller walked down the aisle, and the two spent their prenuptial night apart, in separate houses in Trinidad. Miller’s family came up from Sacramento, and both of her parents gave her away. The women opened their ceremony with the pensive promises of Christina Perri’s
THE CELEBRATION INCLUDED TRADITIONAL TOUCHES. OFFICIANT DENISE MCKENZIE GUIDED MILLER AND SHANER THROUGH THEIR VOWS.
“A Thousand Years.” Miller wanted their speeches to be short — she was afraid she would be too nervous to recite with so many people watching. So their officiant read from a favorite poem of Miller’s, and shared a text that Shaner wrote last year about how she sees Miller from head to heart to toe: “I love all of you. Your arms are strong enough to hold me up when I need you and gentle enough to keep me feeling safe and loved. … You are beautiful, smart, funny, responsible and genuine. You would gladly give anyone a hand if truly in need, and that is so very rare to find in this world. …” When P!nk’s boisterous “Raise Your Glass” signaled the wedding finale, Miller grabbed Shaner’s hand and pulled her back down the aisle. Someone asked her about the bouquet.
Miller said she’d get it later. She was ready to be out of the spotlight and excitement, and have a moment with her wife. The party adjourned to Merryman’s Beach House, where Burlyman Dana Hall mixed a cross-genre set led by Edwin McCain’s “I Could Not Ask for More.” Miller danced with her dad to “My Girl,” and Shaner with hers to “Brown Eyed Girl.” Atop the Ramone’s wedding cake sat a silver S, marking the new Shaner family union. A few weeks after their nuptials, the newlyweds’ body language is relaxed. When asked if they are still riding the wedding wave, they laugh. The fuss is over. They are married in the eyes of their family, in the eyes of the state, in the eyes of each other. This is the rest of our lives, they say. This is forever, now. ●
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30 NORTH COAST JOURNAL • WEDDING & PARTY GUIDE 2014
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