Peristeria Winter 2011

Page 36

dated, his mom, other authority figures). Plus, all of us have moments where we tempted by something that might not be necessarily sinful, but has a thrill to it. Most girls find a thrill in dating a “bad boy” until he becomes a “bad boy” against them. Then she’s trapped, committed, and doesn’t know how to get out. I haven’t seen too many guys who have gone from “bad boys” to great guys because of a girl. Christ, yes. Girlfriend, extremely rare. Best quote I’ve heard on the subject: “If you’re only finding dogs, you’re probably looking in the kennel.”

Q. In what ways to girls de-value themselves?

A.

A lot of girls seem to put all of their stock in how attractive they are. If they can get guys to look or pursue because of how they look, then they’ve won. They’ve got the guy by their finger. There is so much more value in a woman than if she can turn heads. To put who you are exclusively in your looks takes away from all of the other ways that you are beautiful (character, personality, confidence, etc.).

to my wife because attraction is so subjective that I couldn’t be able to speak to all guys. To say that I wasn’t attracted to my wife physically would be a lie. We’re all people of physical attraction and she’s physically beautiful. That wasn’t the clincher though because I’ve seen good-looking girls before. What took her from good looking to beautiful and ultimately what made me say “I will be with that girl” was everything you couldn’t know by just looking at her. She has a radiant personality and has a way of drawing people to her constantly. Her smile is contagious. She is incredibly confident. She told me she didn’t need me (and that spurred me to be attracted to her even more. She didn’t need me to complete her. She was complete in Christ without me. She would

eventually choose me not because she needed me to complete her life but because she loved me and chose me. (A.T.T.R.A.C.T.I.V.E.). She loved Jesus. Unashamedly. I loved to see her worship. She always brings out the best in me. She loves to serve. Knows the Bible and can share it with others. Has a voice like you wouldn’t believe. Likes to eat hot wings. My list could go on and on.... And now that she is my wife and the mother to our son, the list goes much longer than this. To put it more succinctly: She loves Christ. She was physically attractive and presented herself well. Beautiful in her personality. Didn’t need me to complete her.

Q. In what ways can girls hinder a guy’s relationship with God?

- continued -

Another way is for girls to compare themselves unnecessarily to someone else and to make their value be in how much they don’t stack up to [insert woman of choice here]. Whether that be a friend or celebrity, girls can rip all of their value by defeating themselves and saying since they’ll never be [insert woman of choice here] and all the guys like her, then she doesn’t have value.

Q. What qualities are guys attracted to in a girl? 36

A.

I’ll speak to what attracted me

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