Staff Editorial
Fashion your seat belts It’s about that time of year again... Fall. The winds of new seasons are bringing out the jackets, the scarves, and unfortunately, the Ugg boots. Dressing to fit the seasons is imperative in our material culture. Some people, however, obviously don’t care. Or, go overboard and break every rule possible in an attempt to be “cute”. Some days, on a brisk fall morning, people look at you as the most chic and fashionable person in all your new fall outfits. Other days, however, people just wonder what the balls you were thinking when you got out of bed. With temperatures dropping and the leaves changing, we at the Wichitan would like to guide you on your Fall Fashion selections as best we know how. 1. Everything has its place. When properly put together, some outfit and accessory combinations can really wow onlookers. A scarf with a nice jacket is always a winner. Ugg boots combined with Nike running shorts... Not so much. 2. Dress appropriately. There’s no way some of you girls can honestly tell me you aren’t cold in your tank top and short skirt in 30 degree weather. Cover yourselves. You can still look cute and be fully clothed. Trust me, ladies. Modest is hottest. 3. Embrace the sweats; don’t let them embrace you. Sweats often get shunned. Don’t deny the warmth and comfort of a good pair of sweats! However, that little skin-tight number that shows off all your junk... Guys and girls alike... No. Don’t do that. Fashion is meant to be made your own. Individuality is the key to shocking and aweing casual passersby. Do your own thing. But, don’t be stupid. You want people to look in interest. Not disgust.
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Copyright © 2007. The Wichitan is a member of the Texas Intercollegiate Press Association. The Wichitan reserves the right to edit any material submitted for publication. Opinions expressed in The Wichitan do not necessarily reflect those of the students, staff, faculty, administration or Board of Regents of Midwestern State University. First copy of the paper is free of charge; additional copies are $1. The Wichitan welcomes letters of opinion from students, faculty and staff submitted by the Friday before intended publication. Letters should be brief and without abusive language or personal attacks. Letters must be typed and signed by the writer and include a telephone number and address for verification purposes. The editor retains the right to edit letters.
The best offense against zombies
Josh Hoggard Zombie Expert
There is a dangerous time creeping around the corner. It isn’t often talked about, and is brushed under the table like some sort of folklore. Since people pass this looming tragedy off as myth, they will find themselves unprepared on that fateful day. I’m talking, of course, about the zombie apocalypse. Second in a series Last week, we dispelled some common rumors about zombies. I trust you did your zombie homework and reviewed and memorized the facts we discussed last week. After all, your mind is your most valuable weapon when slaughtering herds of the undead. If you haven’t committed those facts to memory, shame on you. If you didn’t get a chance to, shame on you. But, there is still hope. Pick up last week’s issue. Remember, zombies are dead, zombies have no cognitive abilities, and the only way to kill them is to remove the head or destroy the brain. Once “remove the head or destroy the brain” was mentioned, I bet a few of your hearts skipped a beat. I know a lot of you faithful believers are ready to hear about effective zombie killing strategies and weapon suggestions. Like any veteran zombie-massacring sensei, I
know how fun it can be to go on a Left 4 Dead style zombie killing rampage and annihilate every zombie in your path. However, I must insist on refraining from being a hero. The best offense against the undead is a good defense. A good attack strategy, however entertaining and awesomely destructive as it may be, should be considered secondary to a good defensive game plan against the undead. The first step to a good defense against a slew of zombies is fortification. Ideally, constructing your own fort is your best option. Fifteen-foot high concrete walls surrounding, sniper towers, an emergency underground escape... High ceilings, a vacant first floor with a roll-down ladder, a basement for storage... But, lets be honest here. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, that kind of fortification is simply out of the question. Despite past predictions, zombie infections have happened suddenly and without much public warning. By the time you are preparing to take on the undead, it’s probably too late to think about building a fort. More than likely, you’ll be in your home or workplace or school when this tragedy occurs. Knowing what to do within a moments notice may be the difference of life and death. So, in the event of a sudden outbreak, here are a few key
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things to keep in mind: • Find all the non-perishable items you can and put them in a safe place. The last way you want to die is starvation. • Get as high as you can and destroy the staircase. Zombies may be able to bite, but they can’t climb anything beyond stairs. • Know your way out of any building you enter into. In the event of becoming trapped, you HAVE to have a way of escape. Otherwise, you become an entree. • There is strength in numbers. Grab as many noninfected, able bodied friends as you can. If you happen to run into myself, Grace Johnson, or Alexis Tate, get one of us on your team. We are experts. • Be ready to move. If your makeshift fortress becomes overrun with the undead, you’re going to have to get out as fast as you can. Once your pseudo-fort has been assembled, making it more defendable is a must. Set up a perimeter. Zombies cannot climb, or think, for that matter. If at all possible, set up as sturdy and strong of a perimeter as you can. Re-enforced wood or concrete are your best bet. Chain-link and barbed wire are certainly better than nothing, but the risk of breech increases as the sturdiness of the perimeter decreases. Set up some sort of sniper
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type tower. Killing the zombies before they can attempt to breech your perimeter is the absolute best idea. Remember, aim for the head. In that sniper tower, have someone keeping watch at all times. Constant awareness is key in determining how to go about defending the fort against a full-scale zombie breech. Keep yourself entertained when not on guard. As previously mentioned, you MUST keep your mind sharp when taking on the undead. The same thing goes with your body. Keep yourself in physical shape. Get around an hour of exercise a day. When you run out of supplies or your fortress is breached, you might have to relocate or find supplies. Traveling on your feet is your best bet. It keeps you stealth, and against the slow zombies, speed is a non-factor. Plus, a car can attract the undead and reveal your location. Always keep close to your team. NEVER travel alone. Keep all angles under watch. Zombie sneak attacks are the second-biggest infectionspreading bites, next only to being overrun. Of course, defense isn’t the only offense. At one point in time, you’ll have to kill a zombie. Next week, we’ll talk about weapons. I know, I’m salivating at the thought too. Survive until then...