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Spreadsheet Parenting • Loco Parentis: First-time mother Amy Webb proudly notates dozens of data points about her child each day and obsessively tracks their detailed progression by computer on spreadsheets, according to the provocative first-person account she wrote for Slate.com in July. In categories ranging from ordinary vital signs, to the kid’s progress in sound-making, to dietary reactions, to quantity and quality of each poop, stats are kept 24/7. She began tracking her own health during pregnancy but decided to keep going after her daughter was born. Webb’s pediatrician rated the kid’s health as A-minus but the parents’ as C, adding: “You guys need to relax. Leave the spreadsheets [out].” Compelling Explanations • Dr. Timothy Sweo said later that he was only trying to make his diagnosis of lumbar lordosis “less technical” for patient Terry Ragland when he described her condition as “ghetto booty.” The shape of her spine makes her buttocks stick out more, he said, and he prescribed pain medication as there is no cure, per se. Nonetheless, Ragland felt insulted and filed a complaint against Dr. Sweo with the Tennessee Department of Health in July. Said she, “I couldn’t believe he said that.” The Litigious Society • A lawyer and former spokesman for the judiciary of Kenya filed a petition in July with the International Court of Justice in The Hague, Netherlands, seeking a retrial of Jesus Christ and naming as defendants the state of Israel, King Herod, various Jewish elders, the former emperor of Rome (Tiberius) and, of course, Pontius Pilate. Dola Indidis claims that the proceedings before Roman courts did not conform to the rule of law at the time. (Indidis’ claim had been dismissed by the
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High Court in Nairobi, and a spokesperson for the ICJ said the court has no jurisdiction in such a case.) Perspective • Researchers can accurately estimate a person’s economic status just by learning which environmental toxins are in his or her body, concluded a University of Exeter (England) research team recently, using U.S. data. Although “both rich and poor Americans are walking waste dumps,” wrote the website Quartz, poorer people’s typical food leaves lead, cadmium and the banned bisphenol-A, whereas richer people are more likely accumulate heavy metals (mercury, arsenic, thallium) from aquatic lean protein (and acquire oxybenzone from the active ingredient in sunscreens). Previous research was thought to show that richer Americans ate healthier, but the Exeter research shows they merely house different toxins.
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Strange Old World • Senhor Testiculo: In May, a Brazilian cancer-fighting foundation, AAPEC, published a series of photos of its new mascot that it hopes will call attention to the dread of testicular cancer, and the initial worldwide reviews demonstrate that, indeed, people may never, ever forget their first glance at “Mr. Balls.” AAPEC described its character as a “friendly snowman in the shape of testicles” — friendly in the sense of a buck-toothed humanoid with a puffy-cheeked smile and the body of a huge scrotal sac dotted with small curly hairs and rough skin. As photos of the genial “Senhor Testiculo” circulated in June, he was variously described as “disturbing,” “horrifying,” “terrifying” and “a nightmare.” X
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