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Commentary
The Minaret | March 20, 2009
Abuse Victims Should Find The Pride To Claim Self-Worth
By Nicole Robinson Columnist
According to reports, Chris Brown tried to force Rihanna out of his moving vehicle, slammed her face against the glass window, brutalized her face blow after blow, putting her into a headlock and biting her ear. On top of that, he threatened to “kill her,” choking her until she lost consciousness. As if that wasn’t enough controversy, days later the two apparently reunited in Miami where Brown was captured on film riding a Jet Ski, flexing his muscles and looking at the hindquarters of other women. Hardly the expected picture of a man remorseful for allegedly beating down someone he called his girlfriend. This situation has brought to light an ugly reality that women and even men face all of the time. Many people are shocked by Rihanna’s readiness to take back someone who would beat her to the brink of death within days of the incident. But then I’m taken aback by people’s surprise. This sort of thing happens everyday. Our society has manufactured generations of women who undergo abuse, both mental and physical,
without seeking help. It seems that women are expected to bear unnecessary pain and suffering, and this is part of what defines “being a woman.” From a young age, it seems women are taught to “Woman up” and take back that man who doesn’t treat you right and cheats. I propose that the only way to fix this problem is to redefine what people think a woman is, or at least make it clear what a woman is not. A woman is not a punching bag, a scapegoat, a means to an end or some disposable object to be used to satisfy certain needs and then left in the dust. A woman should, however, have a strong sense of pride because then she would know that anyone who hurts her, physically or mentally, should not be in her life. Any person with pride, man or woman, simply would not allow this to happen. Nobody has to do any extensive research to find a situation where a woman endures unnecessary situations that are ludicrous in nature. I cannot understand why so many girls and women don’t think they are good enough for a positive relationship with a man. But, hey, maybe the reason is staring us all right in the face: somehow we have let people convince us that we aren’t good enough. Somehow Rihanna and so many others like her believe that they deserve a man who beats
them. Deep down they must think that an occasional beat down by a boyfriend who doesn’t give a damn is all they are good for. So for all of those out there who may believe that they don’t deserve someone who will treat them with respect and honor, you are dead wrong and you deserve more. I don’t care what you might have done in the past, if you are human, you should be treated with the utmost respect. We need to be reminded that we should not expect anything less from anyone. I believe that so many women have forgotten what it is to be treated properly. Don’t believe me? Look around at your own friends or around campus and observe how some women let their boyfriends treat them.
It might be easier than you think to find an example of verbal abuse where a boyfriend calls his girlfriend ugly or fat. Yet for some reason, she’ll stay around. Verbal heckling is just as bad as a slap in the face, but at least physical scars heal. Demand respect from everyone you incorporate into your life. There is no room for anyone who does not honor your body and feelings. Men, and women especially, should vow to never accept disrespect in any form. That is the first step to saving ourselves from this hole that we have fallen into regarding selfworth. However, Chris Brown is innocent until proven guilty, so we’ll just have to wait until the court decides.
Images by CURIOSO/ flickr.com But really what we should do is pay attention to those that we know are guilty of abuse, physically, mentally or otherwise. Help your friends and help yourself because the ugly truth remains, as stated by the National Institute of Health, “domestic violence is the most common cause of injury to women ages 15 to 44.” People who we know and claim to love us are beating us down. We need to realize that someone who is willing to do that to us does not love us as much as they say they do, if they love us at all. Vow to accept someone who will respect you and, more importantly, vow to value yourself. Nicole Robinson may be reached at nrobinson@ut.edu.
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