The Aging Advice Roundtable
Older adults face some monumental decisions – when to downsize, whether to consider a retirement community, where the best place is to spend their future. We spoke to local experts about how to make the best decisions and get the most out of the golden years.
When should someone consider downsizing or moving into a retirement community?
NEMOVITZ: It’s a difficult process because most people have been in their homes for many years. Often the house is getting too big
BRUCE NEMOVITZ Team Leader and Realtor, Bruce’s Team – Senior Real Estate Specialists
for them, and it’s hard to maintain. The house just isn’t working for them the way it used to. There can be health issues. And many times, I see grandparents who just want to be closer to their grandchildren. Sometimes when I first visit a client who’s preparing to move, they can look like deer in headlights – but I set up a
LUCI KLEBAR Director of Sales and Marketing, Saint John’s On The Lake
ERIN BURKE Director of LifeStreams, Saint John’s On The Lake
whole game plan for them so every step is covered.
FOTI: I absolutely concur with what Bruce is saying. We’ve helped thousands of families find the best care options for their loved ones. Often, the house you’ve raised your family in may not be the house you need now. It can actually start to become an albatross. No one likes to admit that maybe they can’t do the things they used to. My father-in-law once said to me, “You don’t know you’re old until you’re old.” I think that’s often why people are coming to us when they’re in crisis, after a medical emergency, to find a place they can stay. That’s exactly what you don’t want to do – wait for that crisis. If you can get ahead and plan, you’ll have far more choices and
PAM FOTI Co-owner and Elder Care Consultant, Vesta Senior Network
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opportunities to enjoy all the things that a place like Saint John’s, for example, would offer.
KLEBAR: I echo everything you’ve both said. At Saint John’s, we really work to create an active lifestyle for our residents who are living here independently. To your point, we’re appealing to the younger older adults who do not like the hassle of the house, the yard, the snow. Our youngest resident is 64 and is living independently. She’s one of those people who has planned ahead and is really enjoying everything we have to offer. But unfortunately, we also see people, like Pam said, who wait until a crisis.
BURKE: In my job at Saint John’s, I’m overseeing everything lifestyle. So when people come into independent living, they can really go through the process comfortably and enjoy what we have here. We have hundreds of events every month. We’re starting a new pickleball group, we have a games room, an outdoor concert series. There are so many groups and committees and things to do.
FOTI: So many clients tell us that they should have made the move years ago. I think what holds people back is this idea they have of a “nursing home.” A lot of people remember a place where their mother or grandmother was decades ago, and that is absolutely not what we’re talking about with all the great communities nowadays.
KLEBAR: They don’t realize what it’s like until they see it for themselves. We see people blossom when they move in. They’re going to concerts; they’re making new friends and sometimes even finding a new romance; their life is getting bigger. It’s really a beautiful thing to see. These older adults who make the move earlier are creating a new adventure in their lives.
What are some possible consequences of waiting?
NEMOVITZ: Crisis management is the worst thing we encounter. If you wait too long to move, you might not have choices about where to go. Maybe you wanted to go to Saint John’s, but you don’t have any time and it’s not available in this moment of crisis. We’ll see people who waited and waited and waited because of that fear of change.
FOTI: Absolutely. And the fear of the unknown. It paints you into a corner.
NEMOVITZ: Oftentimes, in these crisis cases, I’ll be dealing with clients’ children. And that can often become an issue because you’ll see sibling rivalries heat up. It can be tough. If you’re proactive beforehand, it avoids that conflict. The move might seem like a lot, but it all works like clockwork if you listen to a professional.
KLEBAR: You have to plan before you’re in crisis. The people who plan ahead are often people who had to do this for their parents, and they don’t want their children to have to do that for them.
How can a professional help make that time of transition easier?
NEMOVITZ: There are so many services that can help with downsizing. I connect my clients with folks that can help with selling, repurposing, disposing, whatever is needed. When people try to do all of that by themselves, I see it take about two to five years. With the right service, it’s a matter of days.
KLEBAR: And it’s so much less stressful. We’ve had people use a move management company, who move in and then the same day they are having friends over for cocktails. It’s like waving a magic wand.
FOTI: A crucial piece here is deciding where you’re going to go and what that space is going to look like. I had a client who downsized her things before moving, and then she when found a new place, she realized that she had so much more space than she thought and she could have used all these things she got rid of.
NEMOVITZ: I give seminars on this whole moving process. And at one of them, there was a husband and a wife, and the husband didn’t want to move – his arms were crossed. The wife wanted to. He said, “You’re going to have to take me out of my house in a box.” And then she stood up and said, “Well, when they do, would you take all your crap with you?” I have lots of stories like that.
What should you look for in a retirement community?
FOTI: At Vesta, we talk about the three Cs: care, cost and community. You want a place that will meet your needs now and will also meet your needs in the future, depending on what may happen. I say that we should have safety nets in place – maybe you don’t need much care now, but if you choose a place that offers, say, memory care, then you have that available if it’s needed. Using an expert is really going to help you find what’s best for you.
BURKE: I agree. I think what makes our community special is that we all know each other so well. We take care of everyone like a family, and we have our residents’ best interests at heart. It feels like a home.
KLEBAR: I think Pam really touched on the three important ones – the kind of community where you feel at home, the kind of care you need, and what you can afford. Choosing a community is all about the “fit.” And almost to a person, everyone here says they wish would they have made the move sooner. ◆
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TAKING YOU FROM OVERWHELMED TO “I CAN DO THIS!” With over 35 years of experience, our team of senior real estate specialists are dedicated to serving seniors and their families move from their long-time home to senior living by providing all of the services needed such as downsizing, selling and timing the sale. Contact our team of senior real estate specialists for a free consultation today! 262.242.6177 www.BrucesTeam.com MAY 2024 | 109
