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Sebastopol On the Plaza 6940 Sebastopol Ave Santa Rosa 531 College Ave (1 block east of Mendocino) Santa Rosa Pier 1 Center 2724 Santa Rosa Ave 707-829-2003 02 12.08.10-12.14.10 707-526-2099 THE BOHEMIAN 707-576-8609 THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 03 Win a Logitech Squeezebox Wi-Fi Radio Stream Stream thousands of radio station from radio stations from ns Internet for free the Internet for free Win n Win an Apple iPad iPad Win Win a $100 Gift Certificate n Gift Certificate for Bluewater Bistro for Bluewater Bistro ANNO ANNOUNCING THE 2010 OUNCIN NG 2010 BOHEMIAN READER SURVEY BOHE AN R ADER SURVEY EMI RE R E bohem bohemian.com/survey mian.com/survey /s 04 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Petaluma's plentiful pastures of community-supported farming By Art Kusnetz ust as Napa Valley has become known for its wines, the Petaluma Valley has become known for the quality and diversity of its food. Within a day's walk of Petaluma are dozens of small-town dairies, farms, orchards and ranches. While many are organic, the vast majority have discovered that you don't have to be certified organic in order to embrace sustainable practices or achieve the attendant profitability. Petaluma, by both happy accident and intention, has preserved enough open space and agricultural assets around itself to potentially feed its population and then some. More importantly, the farmers and ranchers surrounding the city see the potential to do so without the use of pesticides and with a reduction in the use of fossil fuels. Tara and Craig Smith, who own Tara Firma Farms, are committed to offering healthy, chemicalfree, all-natural produce and raising grass-fed, pasture-raised pigs, cows and chickens. Tara Firma Farms gives tours of its operation and hosts what is fast becoming the hottest ticket in town: its farm-to-table dinners. The menu features ingredients raised or grown on location, from potato leek soup and cucumber and tomato salads to roasted chicken and braised short ribs. Tara Firma is at the forefront of a movement to feed the planet through sustainable, community-supported agriculture, known widely as CSA. Community-supported agriculture means that you, the consumer, pledge to buy a share of the farm's produce. By financially supporting the farm, it helps to keep the food supply local, support sustainable practices and lower fossil-fuel usage by reducing the need to import food. At Tara Firma, customers can buy CSA packages of meat, produce or a combination of both. At Progressive Pastures, located just north of Petaluma, Leo Ghirardelli (no relation to the chocolate family) runs a herd of Black and Red Angus with a Black Wagyu bull, creating a crossbred named American-style Kobe beef. Leo divides his 60-acre ranch into as many as 10 different fields, explaining that pasture management is the key to reducing overgrazing. Leaving a good covering of grass or clover allows the land to hold its topsoil, reduce runoff and generally makes for healthier pastures, which in turn makes for a healthier herd with higher weights, better marbling and tastier meat. He plants native perennials, and last year was able to cut enough hay on-site to substantially reduce his feed costs. When selecting animals for slaughter, he uses a local slaughter yard, specifying the method for slaughter because factors like stress and adrenaline affect the taste of the meat. The meat then goes to a local company, where it will hang for four weeks and then be made into different cuts and delivered to Leo for distribution to his CSAs. Just west of Petaluma is Canvas Ranch, where Deborah Walton and her husband Tim Schaible sell CSAs of culinary and medicinal herbs, Asian pears, lavender and Araucana chicken eggs. They also raise cashmere goats for their coats and lease 24-four inch tall Babydoll Southdown sheep to vineyards for weed control, thereby reducing pesticide use. If you eat fruits or vegetables, you have a duty--a responsibility, even--to know and care where your food comes from. If you eat meat, you should care how your meat is being raised and processed. Can you, as Leo Ghirardelli claims, taste the fear in your meat? If we are to flourish in the coming years, we need to reduce our dependence on pesticides and fossils fuels. We will need to look locally for unadulterated food and wean ourselves from foodstuffs that burn shiploads of fossil fuel. We will need to learn Tara Firma Farm's motto: "Know your farmer, know your food." Change is coming. Embrace it, support it, and enjoy it by getting to know a local farmer and buying a share of bounty. Art Kusnetz is a freelance writer living in Petaluma. For more on local farms near you, see www.localharvest.org. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com. Change is coming. Embrace it, support it, and enjoy it by getting to know a local farmer. THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 05 While the resurrection of the Rio Nido Lodge is probably good news, I was disturbed by Elizabeth Parker's statement that "there are people . . . afraid that [the developer] might put affordable housing in." Since when is that a bad thing? I object to the casual implied conf lation of affordable housing with ex-cons, drug use and prostitution. With all the people losing their homes and/or jobs in Sonoma County, availability of reasonably priced rentals is essential for the less aff luent among us. The fact is that when housing becomes unaffordable, you get homeless families. Does anyone really think that's preferable to the alternative? I chuckled when I read the editor's request for fewer conspiratorial letters ("Dept. of Sanity," Dec. 1). I have a wealthy, conservative friend who three years ago would have laughed in my face if I had suggested that Goldman Sachs was conspiring to rip off many of its naive clients. Now, he and his well-connected buddies won't touch the stock market. They claim the Federal Reserve and the U.S. Treasury are intentionally manipulating the market. To study the writings of ex-CIA operatives is to discover that large covert operations can be successfully perpetrated with few individuals understanding the full scope of the operations. Most operatives perform on a need-to-know basis. They fulfill their patriotic duty without considering the full ramifications of their actions. Our lives are filled with conspiracies of interests and values. As Americans, we conspire to pay taxes to support mass slaughter in cities we can't pronounce. We pretend that the American battlefield of predatory capitalism is the best way to scrape out a living. We pretend we are intelligent animals, while destroying the ecosystems that support our intelligence. We pretend we are smarter than nature, forgetting that nature gave us the ability to think. Ideas that are on the cutting edge of change are usually vilified as crazy before they hit the mainstream. I don't know if the other two letter writers were correct in their conspiracy theories, but I enjoyed reading them. I found this article inspiring ("Start Agitating: Norman Solomon on getting out there and doing something," Dec. 1). It brings to my mind other courageous reporters. Had Bradley Manning and Wikileaks revealed the truth about Iraq before the invasion, we would have kept our soldiers and tax dollars at home. We also would have understood the problems with the Federal Reserve and agitated earlier to save billions, if not trillions of dollars. No foreclosure crisis, pension funds lost, jobless recovery and healthcare atrocities. We should all support journalists who report the truth--it's the foundation of any movement. 06 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 07 Just in Time for the Holidays Ti Holidays d Apply for a consumer or home loan with RCU to be entered to win $1,000! (70 (707) 545-4000 07) ww ww.redwoodcu.org g www.redwoodcu.org NO PURCHASE OR MEMBERSHIP NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. MEMBERS SHIP Employee es mily members m e ot eligible to win. C b 22 e wil y Void where prohibited. Employees of RCU and/or RCUSG, volunteer Officials and their family members are not eligible t win. Contest ends 12/23/2010. Winner willl be chosen by random selection by January 7, 2011. Officials Contest nds 12/23/2010 W nner w Odds of winning determined by to number of entries received. Contest ope to California residents ages 18 and over. All federal, state, and local rules and regulat total otal open en a residen ages s nts e ove federal, sta lo al regulat regulations apply. For full contest rules visit www.redwoodcu.org. e tions tio www.redwoodcu.org. Membership open to anyone livin or working in 7 North Bay counties or San Francisco. Clearance t living ng n e through ChexSystem required. We look forward to serving you! ChexSystems ms red m i n e r a l wat e r s & m a s s a g e PRE-NATAL & DEEP TISSUE M ASSAGE ORGANIC SEAFLORA FACIAL THERAPY HYDROTHERAPY BATHS GIFT CARDS BY PHONE OR MERMAIDSSPA.COM 115 S. MAIN ST., SEBASTOPOL 707-823-3535  WINNERS SINCE 2001 ! $ " "  # !!! 08 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties "Official Newspaper of Wal-Mart Selling Ham for Hanukkah" y Frey Vineyards is one of only a dozen or so winemakers allowed to use `USDA Organic' on their product. `Organic' standards for wine not what they seem By Alastair Bland he integrity of the organic industry is at stake here," says Butte County winemaker Phil LaRocca. "How can you call something organic and then add a synthetic to it?" Yet a petition making its way to the National Organic Standards Board would do just that, and supporters insist that it's fair labeling. Mendocino County winemaker Paul Dolan, for example, farms and utilizes organic grapes. So does the Barra family of Mendocino, and the Benziger family in Glen Ellen. But a clause deep within the National Organic Program's pages of legal jargon prohibits these and hundreds of other winemakers around the world from labeling their bottles "USDA Organic." This prohibition leaves the privilege solely to about a dozen winemakers in the world who not only use organic grapes to make their wines but who also add no sulfites, or sulfur dioxide, before bottling. As supporters are quick to point out, sulfites are a common preservative that have been used by most winemakers in the world since the 15th century. Dolan and others say that the National Organic Program's law itself is illegal, directly contradicting the Federal Organic Foods Production Act of 1990, which states clearly that sulfites may be added to organic wines. To clear the conflict, and to make space for their wines in the coveted USDA Organic category, three parties--Paul Dolan Vineyards, Barra of Mendocino and Organic Vintners Inc., a Boulder, Colo., distributor of organic wines--submitted a petition on April 1 to the National Organic Standards Board requesting a modification to the law. Currently, the National Organic Program states that organic wines containing up to 100 parts per million of added sulfites may only be labeled as "made with organic grapes" or "made with organically grown grapes" instead of "USDA Organic" when sold within the United States. Shawn Harmon, sales manager at Barra of Mendocino, feels that the "made with" category is perceived by consumers as a lesser denomination, and he, along with Dolan and others, wants the right to use the USDA Organic seal. "Our wines are organic, identical to [Frey Vineyards'], except that they contain a small amount of sulfites, which the Organic Foods Production Act allows," Harmon says. Ukiah winemaker Paul Frey, who, like LaRocca, produces wine containing only organic grapes and no added sulfites, firmly opposes the petition. Frey Vineyards is one of the oldest and largest makers of USDA Organic wines in the world, and Frey THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 09 Big Sale 40% Off all Leg Avenue Costumes and large rack of other selected costumes 20% Off Petticoats SANTA SUITS for sale & rent CHEAP SANTA SUITS for Santa Crawl $15 Extraordinary gifts and the very best stocking stuffers & funny cards anywhere DISGUISE THE LIMIT FUNNY BUSINESS Where shopping is ENTERTAINMENT! Costume Rentals 707-528-2590 Sales 707-575 -1477 Extended hours for holiday shoppers Somona County's Oldest Costume Shop ...between 3rd & 4th on Wilson in Santa Rosa's Historic Railroad Square 10 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN GETTING YOU NOWHERE? IS YOUR BORING OLD WORKOUT An independent local COMMUNITY BANK since 1890 Voted Best Local Bank, Best Business Bank and One of the Best Places to Work in 2010 Personal and Business Checking and Savings products and services with the latest technology: YOUR JOURNEY STARTS HERE... You'll never be the same again, and you'll feel so good you'll wonder why you didn't do this sooner. � � � � � Loans�Consumer and Business Online Banking with Bill Pay and Paperless Statements�It's the Greener way! Youth Savings programs ATM locations throughout Sonoma County for your convenience A Customer Service team dedicated to answering your call before and after business hours AMAZEYOURSELF $10 FOR 10 DAYS ONE GREAT INTRO SPECIAL NOW IS YOUR TIME TWO GREAT STUDIOS We invite you to e-mail, call or visit us at any of our branches to answer your questions about how Exchange Bank can become your bank. 707.524.3000 or toll free 800.995.4066 www.exchangebank.com Member FDIC THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 11 Feel at Home with Your Dentist! ! Full Service Dentistry ! 21 Years in Practice ! Cosmetic Dentistry ! Warm environment with knowledgable staff ! All ages welcome! Rose Lucchese DDS 568 Petaluma Ave Sebastopol 707-829-0692 Locals Spa Pass Locals receive 20% off must bring in this coupon The Hyatt Vinyard Creek Hotel & Spa 170 Railroad Street, Santa Rosa Reservation: 707.636.7300 Hotel: 707.636.7100 www.vinyardcreek.hyatt.com in the Spa fears a crumbling of the current laws. "I believe that any organic standards should be strengthened over time, never weakened," Frey urges, adding that to permit the addition of sulfites in wines labeled USDA Organic "would definitely be weakening the system." But the petition does not ask to introduce a new and previously prohibited chemical to winemaking, claim its authors. The Federal Organic Foods Production Act, in Section 6510.3, already allows sulfites to be used in organic wine, Harmon points out, and he says that only by the contradiction introduced by the National Organic Program have he and hundreds of others been cordoned into the "made with" category. "That's in direct conflict with the Act," Harmon said. Paolo Bonetti, president of Organic Vintners Inc., deals exclusively in organically farmed wines. Bonetti says many of his foreign-made bottles can legally be called "organic" in their respective nations of origin but must unfairly wear a special "made with" label when sold in the United States. Like Harmon, Bonetti stresses that their petition to the government does not attempt to weaken the existing laws of organic winemaking. "We just want to change the [National Organic Program's] annotation so that organic wines with added sulfites can be called `organic' and not have to be called `made with organic grapes,'" Bonetti says. Though the Food and Drug Administration says sulfites are "generally recognized as safe" for consumption, the World Health Organization calls sulfur dioxide an "allergen," and many consumers believe themselves to be allergic to the preservative. Steve Frankel, a Ukiah wine distributor, says he has indeed seen a rise in demand for wines with minimal or no sulfites. "For these people, to walk into a natural foods store and see that USDA logo gives them the feeling that they're buying a pure product," explains Frankel, who owns Organic Vintages and distributes USDA Organic wines to New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. "It wouldn't be fair to call all these wines [with added sulfites] across the board `organic.'" Frankel thinks consumers would feel "misled," but Harmon doesn't. He, like Dolan, says he's not looking to pass off his wines as sulfite-free, and that a note on each bottle of his family's wines advising consumers of sulfites would provide adequate warning of the additive. "Consumers aren't stupid," Harmon says. "If they're wine drinkers and they think they're allergic to sulfites, they'll read the back of the bottle and look for the sulfitefree wines." The organic wine market is a struggling industry, and Dolan wants to see it grow. To increase the availability of USDA Organic wines through a simple change of current laws could increase consumer interest, Dolan says; demand for organic grapes would increase, and the environment could benefit. The National Organic Standards Board is currently reviewing the bid to edit the organic-wine labeling laws, and the decision to change or uphold the existing law is scheduled to occur sometime before 2013. 12 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN D owntown San Rafael has something for everyone this holiday season, from bike gloves and vinyl records to diamond bracelets and silk scarves. Shop over 20 specialty clothing boutiques, exquisite jewelry, pottery, fine art, collectibles, games, sporting goods and more. Visit Fourth Street-- San Rafael this holiday season and discover what unique treasure is in store for you. Ayurvedic Indian Head Massage � relief from tension headaches, eyestrain, and sinusitis � improves mobility in neck and shoulders � balances energy Margery Smith 707.544.9642 FREE 3 HOUR VALIDATED PARKING look for this sticker in the windows of your Favorite Downtown Merchants. Validated Parking available at 3rd & A and 3rd & C Garages. Holiday Validations valid until 12/31/10. THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 13 Radical agriculture acts in Napa Choose Best! the L Outstanding Bar Exam pass rate L 4-year By Juliane Poirier helped a friend take out a vineyard recently, and I confess I enjoyed it much more than I should have. It was only a small backyard vineyard in Napa, but it seemed much bigger for symbolic reasons. Too often I give in to sarcasm at the news of more vineyards receiving development permits in the Napa Valley. "Thank God!" I stoop to exclaim, "I was worried we wouldn't have enough vineyards!" This admittedly cheap shot is often followed by a mock-enthusiastic comment about how soon the bulldozers can rush here to strip out the trees and carve the hillside. With tongue planted in cheek, I praise the businessperson for his or her originality, and when I start with all of this, someone inevitably reminds me to be grateful that it's vines getting planted and not strip malls. Good point. For the record, I am a huge fan of sustainable winegrowing. In 2002, I wrote a book advocating the practice (Vineyards in the Watershed: Sustainable Winegrowing in Napa County). Since its release, there seem to be even more growers who think out of the box and work constantly to make winegrowing more sustainable. My hat is off to them, especially to the vineyard owners behind the Agricultural Preserve, that piece of local law protecting the Napa Valley from looking just like Walnut Creek or Santa Rosa. Now those were original thinkers; they protected their business interests and improved the quality of life for the community as a side effect. Such radical, forward thinking. My own forward thinking involves seeing something more than wine grapes growing in Napa, Sonoma and Marin. Call me radical, but vegetables and fruit trees have been grown here in the past quite successfully, and the day may come when locally sourced food is, well, the only food. I have already praised in this column the people in Napa County, including wine Photo: Steven Yeager Since 1973, Empire College School of Law has prepared more than 700 graduates to meet their opportunity. Alumni now comprise approximately 25% of the Sonoma County Bar and include 9 members of the judiciary in Sonoma, Napa, Mendocino, Merced and Lassen Counties. evening Juris Doctor Degree program L Award-Winning Teams, California Moot Court Competitions 2000-2010 Register NOW! www.empcol.edu 3035 Cleveland Ave. 707-546-4000 Santa Rosa With my own hands, I've contributed to there being less wine and more food in my community. grape growers, who are planting food crops in the areas of land where grapes don't f lourish, in particular the controversial riparian zones, which are spots along the river where the critters always seem to have the upper hand. On my friend's property, I learn that vineyard demolition is hard work. The vines have to be chain-sawed at the roots, and to get the blade close to the vines, we first have to remove the wire trellising system around which the vine grew. In the old days (and in a few remnants surviving the engineering of modern vineyards), the grape vines grew up on their own legs, and when they got old enough, they looked like gnarled trees. I recall such vines from long-ago Sonoma County as I fight to recoil the stiff wire we cut from the deeply sunken fencing poles. The wires snap back forcefully enough that by the end of three hours, each of us has at least one trellis injury--the prize going to the bloody forehead cut--which we wear as badges of agricultural courage, and proof we have fought the good fight with the damned wire. Why we're doing this crazy thing of ripping out vines is because my friend is fed up and doesn't care for the "gentleman farmer" bragging rights so coveted by others with vines. Instead, he wants room for his kids to play and space for a garden. I'm proud to assist. As I wrestle with a wire stubbornly attached to a pole, I notice a vine with a trunk of smaller circumference than the rest. I stare a few seconds, then drop the wire and cutters. With gloved hands, I grab the horizontal arms of the T-shaped vine and pull hard. There is a slight give. I grab again with greater conviction and pull as hard as I can for as long as I can until, with a sudden jerk, the vine lets go and I'm standing with a vine, roots and all, at chest height, victorious. I did it! And the act is exhilarating. With my own hands I've contributed to there being less wine and more food growing in my community. It's a start. 14 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Promote Your Green Business in our new section "Going Green" Call Today @ 707.527.1200 and ask for rates, sizes and expert tips! Aff or da b l e H o l i d ay S h o p pi ng The Bohemian is "Going Green" Every Week! Hip Pre-Owned Clothing Fab Furniture & Eclectica 1120 Main Street, St Helena 707-963-7972 Tues�Sat 10:30�5:30, Sun 11�4, Mon 10:30�4 www.lolosconsignment.com There's No Place Like TONE MORE YOGA DANCE ZUMBA PILATES www.tonefitness.com Try your first 30 days of unlimited classes for only 850 Fourth Street . Santa Rosa 707.526.3100 $50 Mention this ad for a special BoHo reader gift! THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 15 2 for 1 Doggie Day Care (reg $25 per day) 38 years training experience Guest on the Discovery Channel's K-9 Cops for his expertise Obedience training the natural way Boot Camp 3 Private Sessions for exp. 12/31/2010 $100 off Doggie $ 200 (reg $240) 10 acres of safe, country training See Us for Doggie Day Care grounds Exceptional for aggression issues Strong leadership skills taught for owners 707-322-3272 www.incrediblecanine.com 16 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Certain mushrooms, like this king bolete, are in rare numbers this year. A beginner's primer to foraging locally By Jake Bayless early a year and a half ago now, I moved with my wife and our two boys into her childhood home near Salt Point State Park on the coast in northern Sonoma County. At the time, I had no idea that I was about to discover a new, productive, exciting and adventurous hobby: mushroom hunting. What the natives, the Russians at Fort Ross and locals have known here for generations is that this is one of the world's greatest mushroom-hunting areas. Largely specific to coastal California counties, the temperate climate--buffered by the heat sink of the Pacific Ocean--coastal fog, rain and forest duff and decay make for what could possibly be the perfect mushroom-rearing environment. One of the most amazing things to me about hunting for mushrooms, apart from the unending delicious meals direct from our backyard, is that the activity simply couldn't exist without people, storytelling and human interaction. It truly is one of the last great oral traditions in our society--heck, in the world. Mushrooming is also timed to perfectly coincide with the departure of the beloved summer veggies, bringing another bounty to the table altogether. Of course, mushroom hunting is not for the faint of heart. There is a tremendous risk: death. Were it not for folks willing to teach us the tradition and how to distinguish the yummy from the deadly, we might just see mushroom hunting disappear. For example, the distinction between one of the most delicious common mushrooms, the coccora, and the death cap is so slight and so very critical that it's nearly impossible to make by book alone. You're thinking you might want to take the plunge and do some foraging? Great! First things first: never eat a wild mushroom. (Our lawyers made us say that.) Still got the bug? Super! Here's what to do: Get a book. While mushroom-hunting guidebooks can never examine specimens for you and verify that they're safe to consume, they are a fantastic start and a priceless companion in the field. I've found that most of the varieties of mushroom found in the North Bay are described in witty text and color prints in David Arora's All That the Rain Promises and More: A Hip Pocket Guide to Western Mushrooms (Ten Speed Press; $17.99). Many mushroom diehards consider this and Arora's Mushrooms Demystified (Ten Speed Press; $39.99) to be the casual mycologist's bibles. Both books and a trove of additional info can be found via www.davidarora.com. Head down to the local bookshop and you're likely to find many more books with illustrations, but Arora's place in local mushroom hunting culture is solid. I had the pleasure of attending the standing-room-only November meeting of the Sonoma County Mycological Association, where Arora was the guest speaker, a meeting that filled the Sonoma County Farm Bureau THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 17 Simply Vietnam SONOMA COUNTY'S ONLY GLUTEN-FREE BAKERY! Best Vietnamese Restaurant Traditional Vietnamese Restaurant Thank you Gear up for the holidays! Call Bliss Bakery for gluten-free & food allergyfriendly catering, plus special order holiday cakes 463 Sebastopol Ave . Santa Rosa In the South A Arts District Open Tues-Thurs 10-4 . Fri-Sat 10-9 707. 542.6 0 0 0 The local preference for authentic Vietnamese fresh ingredients large dining room friendly staff always affordable 707.566.8910 966 North Dutton Ave~Santa Rosa Mon�Sat 10�9m Sunday 11�8 dine in & take out building with more than 140 enthusiastic listeners. Recently, Arora purchased a home just outside Gualala in southern Mendocino County, and now the bounty of coastal mushrooms he's studied for decades is just outside his front door. Find an expert. Check out a local mycological association. You might be surprised how many people just like you are interested in learning more. The crux is that you shouldn't ever trust yourself to identify a mushroom to eat until you know the mushroom by heart. Find someone who knows, who has foraged extensively, who has learned from other mushroom fanatics and who has lived to teach you the way. I can't stress this enough. Finding an amazing mushroom can be euphoric, like finding a $100 bill in an old pair of jeans, except the forest floor is covered with old pairs of jeans. However, if eating a mushroom sends you to the hospital with liver failure because you didn't get the identification right, don't call me. Remember, this is an oral tradition; it doesn't work without other people. Find someone you trust, someone skeptical of mushrooms and averse to risk, and have them teach you. In Sonoma County, there is a fantastic resource in the Sonoma County Mycological Association, open to everyone and packed to the gills with friendly folks who'll be happy to teach you everything they know. Their email group is very active and participatory, and is an excellent local archive for mushroomers. The association has open meetings every month in Santa Rosa, regular outings, friendly and fun members, passionate guest speakers, and they encourage beginners to bring mushrooms to meetings for identification. Visit www.somamushrooms. org or the Mycological Society of San Francisco at www.mssf.org. Get out of the house and do it! Mycologists and experienced hunters call it a "foray." Of course, you can go on a foray by yourself, but once you think you know your stuff, I'd encourage getting hooked up with one of the organized forays various mycological associations have throughout the year. In Sonoma County, there's only one park which is open to recreational mushroom harvesting with no permit necessary: Salt Point State Park, about a 30minute drive north of Jenner on Highway 1. There's a five-pound daily limit in Salt Point, but there are no restrictions on the types of mushrooms, and believe me, there are some heavenly mushrooms in Salt Point. In Marin, Mount Tamalpais State Park, Samuel P Taylor State Park, Tomales . Bay State Park and Point Reyes National Seashore are also open to casual mushroom hunting. And lastly, be sure to bring a map. At minimum, be certain you're on state park property when you take a mushroom or hike a trail. Lots of folks get lost in the park or, worse still, take mushrooms from private property. Make sure you know where you are, and where it is OK to take a mushroom. Verify your treasure. Trust your Kids are great at finding what their parents sometimes miss. scientific identification skills? Are you sure? Let's be honest, it's always better to have someone scrutinize your finds with you. I recall being on a foray with my neighbor Fritz, a veteran of mushrooming and someone who has lived among the coastal bounty for the better part of 40 years. I was certain I had found a delicious coccora, and was just about to toss it into my basket when Fritz said, "Wait!" I looked his way, just a few steps from where I had found the golden nugget. At Fritz's foot was what I came to learn was a death cap--growing right next to my coccora. Of course, this might not mean much to the beginner, and certainly didn't to me, until Fritz hypothesized, "What if the mycelium underground beneath the death cap had commingled with the coccora's mycelium?" He was right. It wasn't a risk worth taking. I happily thanked Fritz. Verify your treasure, and hunt with an expert. Cooking and preparation. I've personally only been at this great little mushroom hunting hobby for a bit more than a year now, but in this short time, I've learned that there are nearly as many recipes and preparation styles as there are mushrooms themselves. Once the hardest part of hunting and verification is done, it's time to really get cooking and enjoy the meal. I've found that the best preparations are going to come from the mouths of folks you pick to be your mentors. Who better to tell you what tastes best and how? While some of the tastiest recipes I've tried use nothing more than mushrooms, heat and butter, you'll find that the various mycological associations also have robust recipe sections, as well as active email groups. They are wonderful resources full of great folks willing to teach you anything they know. Lean on them, and foray! 18 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN It 's "Sweet " It's a "Sweet" Ti me of the Year Time of t he Yea r T he Holiday S eas on is up on us... The Holiday Season is upon us ... Port,, Sherry and other dessert P o r t S h e r r y a n d ot h e r d e s s e r t wines just s e em to t aste e x tra goo d wine s just seem to taste extra good during this c old and rainy s eas on. during this cold and rainy season. We have some delicious aged Por t We have s ome delicious aged Port from the other side of the world, from the other side of the world, but are quite impre s s ed with our but are quite impressed with our Petaluma neighbors.. The Sonoma P e t alu m a n e i g h b o r s T h e S o n o m a Valley Por t work s will b e featured at Valley Portworks will be featured at our weekly Thursday night wine our we ekly T hur s day night wine tasting on December 16th between t asting on D ec emb er 16th b et we en 4 and 8 . Winemaker Bill Reading and 8. Winemaker Bill Reading will b e in the store pouring wine will be in the store p ouring wine and sharing his love and knowledge and sharing his love and knowledge of D e s s er t wine.. of Dessert wine 250 + beer s 250+ beers 707. 707. Petaluma's Own Beverage Specialty Store 309 Lakeville St, Petaluma Corner of Petaluma's Own Beverage Specialty Store 309 Lakeville St, Petaluma Corner of D & Lakeville Sts l Lakeville Sts photo: Patrick Kincaid Wilibees Wines Spirits Wilibees Wines & Spirits Let Pet aluma's own Beverage Specialt y Store Let Petaluma's own Beverage Specialty Store help with some great holiday gif t ideas of help with some great holiday gift ideas of your favorite Holiday Wine, Beer and Spirit s your f avorite Holiday Wine, Beer and Spirits ( We also c arr y premium Cigars, c ome che ck (We also carry premium Cigar s , come check out our cigar gif t set s ) out our cigar gift sets) E x tensive Wine Liquor Selec tion Extensive Wine & Liquor Selection www.wilibees .c om www.wilibees.com THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 19 B acon has always held a place at the breakfast table, but the slippery delight has lately been relegated to nothing more than a way to feed a greasyfatty food fix. That is, until Bigi Voix, a staunch vegetarian, had a life-altering brush with bacon that forever changed her and the Bay Area art scene. She fell off the vegan wagon over a bacon-binge weekend and became inspired, or more like obsessed, by pork in strip form. Her passion evolved into a photography collection, where bacon interplays with Voix herself as model. Voix's first series is on display in Napa through the end of the month. The portraits range broadly, from a 1950s pinup pool girl with a beehive hairdo done up in bacon to a recreation of Bruce Springsteen's classic Born in the USA album cover with bacon stuffed into the Boss's back pocket instead of a baseball cap. Each photo is accompanied by a snarky write-up that speaks to the artist's inspiration, and joined by sometimes fearful factoids about bacon, like the differences between fat and lard and stats about the average American's bacon consumption. In concert with the exhibit, Silverado Brewing Company is offering bacon specials all month long. The photos will be available come 2011, in calendar form--the perfect gift for the meatloving fiend in your life. Whether you love bacon, hate it or yearn to bring a little of Bigi's bacon to a home near you, don't miss out on this one-of-a-kind display of art in the making. Bigi Voix's bacon series runs through December at Silverado Brewing Co., 3020 St. Helena Hwy., St. Helena. 707.967.9876. Christina Julian mention this ad for $1.00 off 435 Santa Rosa Ave 707-578-S-OIL 20 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN K athleen White didn't need words to prove to the managers at Shelton's Natural Foods Market that her cheesecakes deserved a place on their shelves. She simply walked into the Healdsburg store with a written introduction and plenty of samples. Santa Rosa 2 for 1 Entre�s (Di ne-in on ly. Va l id w it h (Dine-in only. Valid with 2 beverage orders. Not b e v e r a g e or d e r s . Not va l id on holidays. C a n not valid on hol id ay s. Cannot c ombine of fers.) combine offers.) E xp. 12 -31-10 Exp. 12-31-10 White didn't always plan on being a baker. She'd had a 25-year career as a professional dancer and actress in Los Angeles and on Broadway. But in 1990, White contracted viral meningoencephalitis on a weekend trip and fell into an 11-day coma. When she woke up, she was unable to speak. Though some of her speech slowly returned, she lives now with what she calls a speech difference. Not that she needed to talk up her goat cheese, pistachio crust cheesecakes to the market. The taste said it all, and they're now available in bite-size dozens ($25) at Shelton's. It's a new career that fits the energetic redhead well. White was thrilled by the local food and wine bounty of Healdsburg when she moved here in 2008, and after formally trying goat cheese for the first time, she knew she had to find a way to use the product. Speechless Cakes is her one-woman mail order business, the name in homage to her own experiences and how she hopes people feel after tasting a slice. "The name Speechless . . . is strong in so many levels," writes White in an email. "Moreover, it is that good!" White bakes at Healdsburg's Costeaux French Bakery, which allows her use of its kitchen, and runs the business from her Blackberry. For the current holiday season, sales are brisk, but White strives to keep every aspect of her enterprise grounded. "The cakes are made from local ingredients, baked in a local kitchen," she explains, and "the look of the cheesecake is homemade." White's cheesecakes are available in just one variety, though special ingredients and lactose- and gluten-free cakes are possible by request. Lime zest and kiwi coulis add a touch of high-end flavor. Along with the small bites, customers can also order four- and seven-inch rounds online ($25�$40). Rather than succumb to circumstances, White returned to school after her illness, earning a master's degree in theater arts in 1999 and a bachelor's degree in law studies in 2004. Throughout it all, White says, she's "rediscovered hope." And White isn't done performing, either--though the stage is now smaller and smells slightly of livestock. In her spare time, she dances with Lulu, her sponsored Nigerian dwarf goat at a farm in Penngrove. Speechless Cakes are available at Shelton's Natural Foods Market, 428 Center St., Healdsburg. 707.431.0530. 70 7-575 -9 29 6 707-575-9296 2478 W. Third St 2478 W. Third St S a nt a R osa Santa Rosa 707-829-8889 70 7- 829 - 8 8 8 9 In Downtown In Downtown Sebastopol Seba stopol eb o A c r oss f r om Across from West America Bank West America Bank We Need Your Jugs! (growlers) kegs & cases to go too Now Open for Refills Fridays, 12-5pm or call for an appt. 2064 Gravenstein Hwy N, building 4 Sara Jane Pohlman THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 21 Our Mission is to steweard and restore 200,00 acres od South American Atlantic rainforest and create over 1,000 living wage jobs by 2020 by leveraging our Market Driven Restoration business model. North County W E SERV E ORG A N IC L O CA L F O OD Rent our space for your next party www.guayaki.com/bar Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/guayakimatebar for SPECIAL promotions and become a fan! Check out our twitter page twitter.com/GuayakiMateBar Closed Saturday & Sunday 6782 Sebastopol Ave, Sebastopol 707-824-6644 South County East County Mid County West County 22 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Upvalley lthough it had become spotty and dog-eared by late November, the basil in my care soldiered on amid a frost-burned, fetid garden, looking green enough for a season finale batch of pesto. I stuffed some choice leaves into the food processor, then shelved the project in the fridge while I considered this: since olive oil is the second ingredient to pesto, shouldn't I use the very freshest, most artisanal, locally pressed extra virgin that my budget will allow? A At Davero, locally renowned purveyor of exactly that product, Colleen McGlynn is happy to disabuse me of this notion. The strong flavors of garlic and basil simply overwhelm the spicy, grassy nuances of the best olive oil--better to treat it as a simple lubricant in pesto, after all. But drizzled over ribollita, a Tuscan soup with cannellini beans, bread and kale? "Heaven," McGlynn sighs. Olives arrived in California along with mission bells, but Ridgely Evers was the first to bring in certain highquality, Tuscan oil varieties in 1990. Today, Evers and McGlynn distribute olive trees from their nursery, press oil from their 22-acre olive grove, run a biodynamic vineyard, farm and, since September, tasting room located where Westside Road bends south, cattycorner from Madrona Manor. It's a nice break from just winetasting, and for and non-wine wine country gifts, the infused oils, jams and lavender soaps therein are estate-grown, too, from green tomato conserve to Meyer lemon curd. Downvalley Served up in little paper cups, Dry Creek Valley Estate Olio Nuovo ($32) is as green as moss on rocks, smells like wheat grass and tickles like pepper. The Extra Virgin ($32) is a mellower, buttery version from last year's harvest. Responding to chef demand, DaVero blended estate product with others from California and Spain to make "Line Lube" ($24) affordable, versatile and also available by the gallon ($74). As to DaVero's wine, degrease the palate with the crisp, dry 2008 Rosato of Sangiovese, soon to be officially released. Bright and firm, black cherry-andblack olive, the 2006 Sangiovese ($45) is a score for Cal-Ital, while the 2008 Sagrantino ($95) is in a different league, with floral aromas of muscat, apricot and juniper berry, and leaving a fine, dry finish that sweeps the cobwebs from the top palate. DaVero's "365" nonvintage red ($22) is an everyday, hearty blend for simpler moments, like tucking into some whole wheat rotelle and homemade pesto. DaVero Sonoma, 766 Westside Road, Healdsburg. Open 10am to 5pm daily except Tuesday. Nominal tasting fee $15 (psst--don't sweat it). 707.431.8000. James Knight THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 23 The idea for Danny Sorentino's new CD materialized unexpectedly last July. The local songwriter had just played a benefit concert on the gazebo stage in Cotati's La Plaza Park, and as Sorentino stood there with KRSH-FM broadcaster Bill Bowker, he mentioned that his very first show took place on that same little stage, not long after the gazebo was first built. "Suddenly," he says, "I was talking about other places I've played in the area. I started thinking about all the places in Sonoma County I've had experiences at. And I kind of had this epiphany--that I know Sonoma County better than I know any other spot on the planet. So I thought, `Maybe I'll write some songs about this.'" The next day he wrote a song titled simply "Cotati," with the catchy chorus, "C-O-T-A-T-I, you can let your freak flag fly in Cotati!" "And then," says Sorentino, "I just kept coming up with more songs." The result is `Sonoma County Sweet,' the newest pop-rockfolk-country effort by Danny Sorentino, performing without his usual band the Sorentinos. A nostalgic, surprisingly deepfelt recording, SCS contains some of the warmest and most emotional songwriting Sorentino has undertaken since his 1997 album Family. The song titles read like chapters in a guidebook to Sonoma County, where Sorentino has grown up, raised a family and written hundreds of songs: "Salmon Creek," "Liberty Road," "Gravity Hill," "Inn of the Beginning." Running throughout the music is the inescapable sense that Sorentino has made peace with his youthful ambitions of becoming a world-traveling rock star. "Sonoma County Stars" in particular takes a lovingly affectionate look at his own feelings about choosing to stay in Sonoma County all these years. "So high in the sky, looking up and wonderin' why / You did not travel very far / Star light, star bright, there's no place else I'd rather be tonight / Than under these Sonoma County stars." "I was surprised at how emotional I was writing these songs," Sorentino says, looking forward to a show at the Russian River Brewing Co. in Santa Rosa on Dec. 18. "These places I write about, they're all part of my life. Yeah, I always did assume that someday I'd move to Austin or London or somewhere. But now when I do travel and then come home, I remember why I decided to stay here for the last 30 years. Sonoma County really is my favorite place on earth." --David Templeton Massive windows overlooking a bend in the Petaluma River allow plenty of light to enter the expansive offices that house one of the largest sticker companies in the country. On any given month, Mrs. Grossman's Sticker Company has up to 500 sticker designs on store shelves worldwide, and on a recent Monday morning, nearly 5,000 miles of stickers wait on spools at the Petaluma headquarters to be packaged and sold. That's what happens when you've been at it for so long. Founder Andrea Grossman began making stickers as early as 1972, continually expanding her product line to suit the growing needs of paper crafters. "Stickers appeal to anyone," says Jason Grossman, the founder's son and current head of the company. "They're a cheap form of art. Kids go crazy for them." The family-owned-and-operated digs, combined with a dogsallowed policy, makes for a friendly workplace. "Employees like to stick around," says Grossman, who admits he was fired from various positions at the company while growing up. He returned in 1989 and channeled his passion for manufacturing to keep sticker production to the home base. The team railed against manufacturing overseas, relenting only for products with too much handling to produce domestically. Butterflies, birthdays and Christmas designs rank as consistent favorites year after year, and along with printing colorful creatures, elaborate pirate ships and shiny vegetable stickers, the company branched into labeling 11 years ago. Paragon Label creates detailed tags mostly for local wineries, but "it's not just a label to me," says Grossman with pride. "Not everyone can do it." "It" means using high-quality papers, foil, embossing, digital printing and laser-cut designs to create an accessible piece of sticky art. Comfortable on the cutting edge, Mrs. Grossman's remains the only sticker company in the nation with a laser built specifically to cut out intricate sticker and label designs. The $1 million machine was built by Lasercraft in Santa Rosa. This technology, combined with a workroom of 10 printing presses, allows for the creation of both the iconic red heart sticker (the first design, by Mrs. Grossman herself) and dramatic silhouettes for high-end wine labels. Outside of the online store, where stickers can be ordered direct from a complete list of designs, customers can find Mrs. Grossman's stickers at nearly 4,000 retailers worldwide. Mrs. Grossman's Sticker Company, 3810 Cypress Drive, Petaluma. 800.429.4549. --Sara Jane Pohlman As long as mankind has been hunting and fishing, jerky has been in existence. By cutting meat into long, thin strips then salting and drying it, humans were able to preserve their catch to tide them over barren winters or sustain them on long treks. Sadly, this once lean, protein-rich staple went the way of the mastodon, and developed into the salty, fatty, super-tough, additive-laden junk food found at quickie marts and truck stops. That is, until Krave Jerky. Leave it to John Sebastiani, a native Sonoman, athlete and member of a family steeped in the traditions and production of good food and wine to reinvigorate a stale market. Inspired by the house-made beef jerky sticks made at Angelo's Deli in Schellville, Sebastiani and partner Yens Hoj have developed new recipes and methods for making gourmet jerky. "We wanted to do for beef jerky what Ben and Jerry's did for ice cream," says Sebastiani, a lean, fit man of 40. "We're athletes, and we believe in the idea of snacking on healthy food that is protein-rich, low in fat and builds muscle, strength and endurance." The sliced whole meat (all their pork and beef is sourced in California) and natural seasonings boast great nutritional content. The jerky is 97 percent fat-free, contains no trans fats, and is high in iron, zinc, B vitamins and vitamin E. In addition to being healthy and delicious, the array of flavors and the moist, soft texture of Krave jerky distinguishes it from any other on the market. A dual-marinating and drying process retains much more moisture than standard jerky, avoiding the chewy, cardboard texture of other products. And, this being Sonoma County, consumers can naturally pair it with wine. From the sweet pineappleorange beef and smoky grilled teriyaki pork to the savory lemon-garlic turkey and chili-lime beef, the flavors progress from mild to more peppery. Blasts of flavor and heat peak in intensity with curry beef, honey chipotle beef and garlic chili pepper beef. Krave comes in three-ounce packages, trim enough to slide into a stocking, or can be ordered as a sample pack of five flavors chosen by the buyer. Better yet, join or give the gift of the "Jerky of the Month Club," and five packages of Krave will be delivered to the door each month for $25. Krave is widely available at chain and independent markets throughout northern California, and is distributed nationwide and sold online. Krave Jerky, 117 W. Napa St., Ste. C, Sonoma. 707.939.9176. www.kravejerky.com. --Suzanne Daly 24 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Wolfard lamps, which could look equally at home on TV's Star Trek as they do at the Hotel Healdsburg's Dry Creek Kitchen Restaurant, have been gracing tables for nearly 40 years. Conceived in 1973 by Jon Wolfard as gift to his wife, Linda, the blown-glass lamps took on a life of their own when friends admired their unique design--the oil reservoir being incorporated inside the chimney, rather than in the base--and wanted one for their own. Word soon spread, and Wolfard lamps were recognized by the Whitney Museum of Fine Arts for their new, innovative design in 1975. Distribution grew, and the lamps were soon sold in "every shopping center across the country, at Nature Company stores and in the L.L. Bean catalogue," says current company co-owner Richard Trevethick. Now available online and popular internationally, especially in Sweden and Denmark, these Sebastopol-produced lamps are a perennial favorite. Made of a highly durable borosilicate glass imported from the Czech Republic, each lamp has life literally breathed into it by Trevethick, a veteran glassblower who learned his extraordinary skills working alongside Wolfard since 1975. He acquired the company in 2004, and together with partner Tom Relyea continues to create new designs while maintaining the classic lamp's high quality. New designs include an arch-shaped lamp, a squared arch and floating lamps. A solid based lamp can be filled with water and flowers as an illuminated centerpiece. Because of the nature of glassblowing, no two lamps are exactly alike, and they come in a variety of sizes. The lamps use 99 percent pure cotton wicks and liquid paraffin oil, which burns cleanly and doesn't smoke or smell. Oils are available in a rainbow of colors to accent a room's d�cor. Lamps can be purchased online or locally at Corrick's (637 Fourth St., Santa Rosa; 707.546.2424), Sebastopol Hardware (660 Gravenstein Hwy. N., Sebastopol; 707.823.7688), Vanderbilt & Co. (1429 Main St., St. Helena; 707.963.1010) and Nowell's Lighting & Antiques (615 Irwin St., San Rafael; 415.332.4933). Wolfard Glassblowing, 6788 Sebastopol Ave., Sebastopol. 888.315.4455. --Suzanne Daly It's not every day that the average guy gets to walk up to pro golfer John Daly and strike up a conversation, and it's certainly not likely to happen at the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, Ga. Across the street from the Masters entrance, however, is a different story, where for the past few years, Daly--who hasn't qualified for the prestigious tournament recently--has instead opportunistically set up a makeshift merch stand at his RV in a parking lot of a jewelry store on Washington Avenue. What does he sell, here in the mecca of golf ? Ugly golf pants, of course. "They been real good to me," Daly says, swerving his arm in mock-swing over to the table covered in high-octane clothes made by Loudmouth Inc. in Sonoma, "and they sure do grab attention." The pants patterns are dizzying, with colors reminiscent of Trix cereal mixed with wardrobe cast-offs from Laugh-In. Other golf fans nearby pick up the high-volume wares and actually laugh. Who in the world would wear this stuff ? Well, Daly, for one. The working-class hero of the golf world smokes Marlboros, is sponsored by Hooters and 84 Lumber and has been caught with a flask in his golf bag more times than Tiger Woods has been caught in bed. Guys who dig Daly tend to go for the classic golf stuff, before titanium and treadmills took over and before smoking and drinking and beating the hell out of the ball while wearing grotesque manifestations of day-glo run amok on one's legs went out of date. "I just started designing stuff with what I found in old fabric warehouses in Santa Rosa," says Loudmouth founder and classic golf fan Scott Woodworth from his Sonoma home, "and I used to ship the pants out right here, in my office, where me and my kid would print shipping labels at night. We'd send out eight or 10 boxes every couple days." An impromptu TV segment from the US Open a few years ago led to wider interest, and earlier this year, the Norwegian curling team took advantage of the sport's no-dress-code rule and sported argyle Loudmouth pants on a world stage at the Winter Olympics. The pants were a tremendous hit, The Today Show featured them, fans took to their social networks, and now, the "The Norwegian Olympic Curling Team's Pants" Facebook page has 612,318 fans. All because of the little company in Sonoma started by nostalgia for the gaudy fairway flair of the 1970s. Loudmouth pants run $95, with shorts at $75 and socks at $10. Although Loudmouth is sold online and at hundreds of locations around the world-- including John Daly's RV during Masters week in Augusta--strangely, no golf course or shop in the North Bay is brave enough to carry the Loudmouth line. Don't delay, however; the company's sold out of its entire stock every spring for the last three years. --Gabe Meline In Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream, Oberon is the king of the fairies, ruler of a band of mischievous supernatural beings who create havoc, for good and ill, in the lives of human beings. Although in the 1960s, productions of the play featured the otherworldly prankster in flowing ribbons and feathers, in many modern productions of the play the fairies wear leather. There's just something about leather that brings out the magic in people. Which brings us to Oberon Designs. In the North Bay, Oberon is the king of leather and pewter crafts, its name now associated with a line of handmade craft items created right here in the North Bay. Starting in the late 1960s, artist Brendan Smith began developing his skills as a leather crafter, picking up the trade while working at a local saddle shop. Eventually, having opened a small shop in Napa, Smith began selling handmade sandals. He then expanded his line to include belts, handbags and moccasins, ultimately reaching thousands with his own craft booth at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. Drawn to the detailed craftsmanship and elegant designs, a fan base began to grow. Smith's work, often emblazoned with images from the worlds of fantasy and mythology, was seen not just as something utilitarian (a shoe, a belt) but as a piece of art in and of itself. Originally working under the name Walking Foot Leather, Smith founded Oberon Design in the early '90s, originally focusing on exquisite leather book covers and eventually expanding the line to include pewter bookmarks, barrettes and jewelry. Over two decades later, Oberon Designs can be found all over the world, and are a mainstay in local bookstores and gift shops. Located in Santa Rosa, the company has recently started designing cell-phone sleeves and e-reader covers, bridging handmade craft with new technology. Smith still serves as lead designer, personally crafting the designs for most of the new leather pieces and all of the pewter items. Employing a talented troupe of craftspeople, including Smith's sister Becca, Oberon has remained small--even though its impact, like Oberon king of the fairies, is immeasurable. --David Templeton THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 25 FUNCTIONAL ART The Holiday Spirit is Here pendant by Betsy Barron Shad Willingham rallies residents of radio land in the excellent `Ham for the Holidays.' fine & fashion jewelry beautiful handmade gifts for under $20 146 N. Main Street, Sebastopol � 707.829.3036 artisanafunctionalart.com Sixth Street serves up tasty `Ham'; the Rep stages discordant `Carol' By David Templeton am, from a purely dietary point of view (issues of factory farming and kosher practices aside), is much tastier than it is healthy--and let's face it, that's part of its appeal. The same could be said of Ham for the Holidays, the effervescently silly Christmas comedy written, starring and directed by Shad Willingham. It's Christmas Eve in the winter of 1939, and a freak snowstorm has struck the tiny town of Hamlin, Ga., where the staff of a small radio station is awaiting the arrival of Orson Welles. The radio star has agreed to appear as the voice of God in the station's big Christmas radio play, but due to a series of mishaps, Welles is a no-show, and instead of the expected script, the station is delivered fruitcake. With just moments until airtime, aspiring screenwriter and radio actor Dexter (Willingham) quickly adapts his own radio drama, Attack of the Space Robots from Outer Space, which he'd been hoping to impress Welles with. By changing the title of the play to Attack of the Christmas Robots from Outer Space, the station employees are back in business, and the bulk of the play--clearly inspired by The Carol Burnett Show and other classic television sketch comedy--follows the hapless radio crew (including Dodds Delzell, Norman A. Hall, Christmas Collins, Kendall Carol, Jimmy Gagarin and Samson Hood) while they desperately attempt to finish the broadcast as one thing after another keeps going wrong. Adding to the madness is the fact that the station's heater has become stuck on high, and as the night proceeds, the room keeps warming up, causing the overheated actors to start shedding their clothes. What could be more heartwarming than a Christmas play in which everyone ends up in their underwear by the madcap conclusion? It's all supremely silly, a bit overdone, but remarkably satisfying, exactly like a big old Christmas ham. Less satisfying, unfortunately, is the Sonoma County Repertory Theater's new production of Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol. The Rep has performed Carol in one form or another every December for over a decade. This year's offering brings us a world premiere script by the usually brilliant Jon Tracy. Starring Joe Winkler (who delivered one of the all-time great performances in the Rep's Tuesdays with Morrie), this uncomfortably straightforward, overly academic retelling of the Scrooge story (with Scrooge telling the tale after he's become a nice person) effectively strips the story of its dramatic tension and wry humor. The direction, by Scott Phillips, is rushed in its pacing, is sometimes confusing (with six actors playing all the parts, dressed in similar clothes, it's hard to tell who is who at times), and overall shows little of the invention and creativity for which Phillips is known. Even the great Winkler, as Scrooge, is strangely perfunctory and listless. This is one Carol that's just no fun to listen to. `Ham for the Holidays' runs Thursday�Sunday through Dec. 19 in the Studio at Sixth Street Playhouse. Thursday�Saturday at 8pm; 2pm matinees, Saturday-Sunday. 56 W. Sixth St., Santa Rosa. $10�$25. 707.523.4185. `A Christmas Carol' runs Thursday�Sunday through Dec. 19 at Sonoma County Repertory Theater. Thursday� Sunday at 8pm; 2pm matinees, Saturday�Sunday. 104 N. Main Street, Sebastopol. $20�$25. 707.823.0177. 26 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN PAID ADVERTISING SECTION First Anniversary Show Sunday, 12/12 - Reception 1-4pm Calabi Gallery 144 Petaluma Blvd N | 707.781.7070 calabigallery.com RIVERFRONT ART GALLERY 71 Brookwood Ave., Santa Rosa 707.576.0861 Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 11am-4pm � www.wbu.com Birdseed . Feeders . Birdbaths . Optics . Nature Gifts . Books Contemporary/Museum Framing Conceptual Art Gallery 132 PETALUMA BLVD. NORTH, DOWNTOWN PETALUMA WWW.RIVERFRONTARTGALLERY.COM 707-778-4ART(4278) 707.473.9600 707.474.9600 www.hammerfriar.com HEALDSBURG ARTWALK 13 ART G A LLERIES Art ! / Wine ! / Food ! FIRST FRIDAYS 5 - 8 P.M. May 7 / June 4 / July 2 / Aug 6 Sep 3 / Oct 1 / Nov 5 / Dec 3 Thankfully, there's Healdsburg. w w w. h e a l d s b u r g a r t g a l l e r i e s . c o m For tickets call 707.546.3600 (noon-6pm Tue-Sat) Online wellsfargocenterarts.org Highway 101 to River Road, Santa Rosa � Your Community Non-Profit Arts Center for 29 years Call Today to Advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 27 Healdsburg's Newest Art Gallery on the Plaza Opening Weekend! December 10, 11, 12 Artist's Reception: Friday 6�8pm Enjoy the evening with internationally-known monumental bronze sculptor John Matthew Richen Saturday 12�5pm: Sit for a portrait drawn by local artist Alice Warnecke Sunday 12�5pm: Design holiday ornaments hand-painted by S EBASTOPOL BALLET presents E B A S T O P O L B A L L E T presents t The Nutcracker u ut r Directed by ect nB Susan Borgeson Dec. Dec. Dec. Dec. 17 t h , 1 8 t h, 1 8 t h, 1 9 t h, 7pm 2pm 7pm 7pm 2pm 2pm Georgie Henley apparently finds an old pillow and beats it repeatedly with a Wiffle ball bat in `Narnia.' Sabrina Michaels 115 Plaza Street Healdsburg CA 707-395-0322 Sugar Plum P ugar Plum Parties Sat. & Sun. at 1pm Sat. Sun. Analy High School A naly High School 6950 Analy Ave. 6950 Analy Ave. Sebastopol Sebastopol $18.00 R $18.00 Reserved d $15.00 General $15.00 $10.00 You 10.00 Youth/Seniors ors Call 576-3906 for infor mation C all 576-3906 for information Visually stunning `Narnia: Dawn Treader' heavy on religious allegory By Richard von Busack haped like the end of a trilogy (despite a proposed sequel), The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader heads to its appointed port, loaded to the gunwales with a cargo of moral lessons. The opening sets the stage well. Director Michael Apted includes scenes of the big war in Cambridge, where workmen are tearing down the fences for scrap iron for war material. The elder Pevensies, Peter and Susan, are in America. Left behind are two younger children, Lucy (Georgie Henley) and Edmund (Skandar Keynes), who are billeted with their hateful cousin Eustace. Inundated by an enchanted painting, Lucy, Edmund and Eustace end up bobbing in the sea right next to the Narnian navy vessel containing Prince Caspian, who is investigating the vanishing of seven peers of the realm. Eventually, seven golden swords have to be rescued and placed on the altar of Aslan. The shipmates encounter invisible one-legged giants, a green mist that envelops sacrificial humans and a dragon's treasure hoard cursing those who steal it. It's no secret that C. S. Lewis imbued his writing with Christian tenets, and during the voyage, religious allegory starts to poke out. The earthling children are tempted by such of the seven deadly sins as might lure a child. Lucy wants beauty, Eustace is lured by gold, and Edmund wants power. A child, slowly getting the picture--it's about straightening up and flying right--might be more perked up by the film's particularly disgusting sea-serpent, studded with claws inside its mucousy-looking mantle. There are times when the Narnia movies are as good as CGI gets. The animators challenge themselves to pose their legions of creatures under high-noon lighting, instead of disguising the f laws with half-shadows or twilight, and Caspian's dragon ship is tangible against the Maxfield Parrish�like magenta clouds. Another plus is Will Poulter. The bad boy from Son of Rambow plays stinky cousin Eustace, whose shirking and filching provide a welcome counterpoint to the well-bred Pevensies. Full of potential, Poulter is as close to a serious young actor as this series has fielded. For this insallment, the fencing mouse Reepicheep is voiced by Simon Pegg instead of the previous films' Eddie Izzard. This time, Reepicheep has more Ronald Colman�style politesse than the last installment. Certainly, the mouse is braver than the Holy Lion himself, who, typically, ducks out on the final fight. If this is indeed the end of the road for the Narnia films, it explains the finale. It doesn't blow the ending to mention that Aslan coyly drops a hint of who he really is here, as if we didn't infer it from the previous two films (he was martyred, rose from the dead, is able to heal the sick, etc.). I can remember reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in childhood and feeling like I'd been promised a trip to Disneyland, only to be dropped off at Catechism. Even adapted for Hollywood, not much has changed in the story's mission. `The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' opens in wide release Friday, Dec. 10. 28 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN New Movies SONOMA VALLEY MUSEUM of ART December 10, 8-11pm MIX MIX discount on Museum membership Enjoy art, music, and cocktails in a recreation of renowned steel sculptor Participatory art project Music by The Easy Leaves Also Playing PRIMITIVES � JEWELRY � LIGHTING � KITCHEN TOOLS � ARCHITECTURAL � GLASS � FURNITURE � FRUIT LABELS � GARDEN ANTIQUES � TOYS & DOLLS � ARTS & CRAFTS � POST MODERN � COUNTRY � CALIFORNIA We've got your BACK 2661 Gravenstein Hwy So. (Hwy 116) on Sebastopol's Antique Row Open daily! 707 829.1733 Antique Society 21 100 dealers! Our st year! GREAT PRICES, FUN GIFTS! www. AntiqueSociety .com THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 29 & ENTHRALLING ROLLING STONE TRIUMPHANT SPELLBINDING GQ CELEBRATORY & #### OVER 50 FOUR-STAR REVIEWS USA TODAY CHICAGO SUN-TIMES NEW YORK POST TORONTO STAR VOGUE NEW YORK OBSERVER PEOPLE AMNY SEATTLE TIMES VANCOUVER SUN STAR TIME OUT NY AUSTIN CHRONICLE DENVER POST Kevin Spacey plays Jack Abramoff in `Casino Jack,' showing at Napa Valley Opera House's Talk Cinema series Dec. 9. See Film, p40. AIRPORT STADIUM 12 CINEMA WEST Windsor (707) 522-0330 Petaluma (707) 762-7469 Rohnert Park (800) FANDANGO #2720 Santa Rosa (707) 522-0330 BOULEVARD CINEMAS 12 ROHNERT PARK STADIUM 16 READING CINEMAS SUMMERFIELD CINEMAS Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Rothtana Ouch. N O R T H B AY M O V I E T I M E S www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com 30 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Hollywood Ending As the very first artist to be signed to MySpace Records, a case could be made that Mickey Avalon is a "pioneer" of sorts; a case could also be made that building a career on bad tattoos and songs like "My Dick" isn't very progressive at all. But after a tumultuous year which saw the Hollywood-nightclub rapper fall out with his closest friends and get booed off the stage (twice) opening for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, we should maybe try to be nice to the guy. Thrill to his tales of drugs and prostitutes on Saturday, Dec. 11, at Chrome Lotus. 501 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. 8:30pm. $30. No phone. Seasonal Sammy Sure, Sammy Hagar likes to party down, chug a load of tequila and not drive 55, but when you get right down to it, even the red rocker has a heart. In January of this year, he organized and played a benefit with all proceeds from the $150�$250 ticket going to a three-year-old recovering from a kidney transplant, and this Saturday, he premieres his new movie, Go There Once, Be There Twice, and turns in an acoustic set with his band the Wabos to benefit Homeward Bound dog rescue and Ritter Center homeless services. See him in a tiny venue on Saturday, Dec. 11, at 142 Throckmorton Theatre, 142 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley. 7pm. $100. 415.383.9600. Flecked Trees Exactly 20 years ago, Bela Fleck and the Flecktones first appeared at the then-Luther Burbank Center as the hottest new thing in mainstream jazz. If the music didn't blow people's minds, the group at least had an ace-in-the-hole with slaphappy bassist Victor Wooten, who midway through the show performed a backf lip while playing. Of course, the group has returned to the same venue countless times since, won multiple Grammy awards, found success with multiple solo albums and recorded a holiday record, Jingle All the Way, which it'll pull generously from on Wednesday, Dec. 15, at the Wells Fargo Center, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. $40�$55. 8pm. 707.546.3600. Choral Majesty This is the time of year when every high school choir, church choir and community choir hold seasonal concerts and try, basically, to sound like Chanticleer. Probably the greatest living male chorus, the multiple Grammy-winning group has recorded and performed jazz, spirituals, Gregorian chants and more; their annual December holiday tour is a tradition that's impossible to mock-- unless you want to make the same old tired jokes about men who can sing really high having no testicles. They bring pure vocal beauty on Sunday, Dec. 12, at the Napa Valley Opera House. 1030 Main St., Napa. 5pm. $30�$52. 707.226.7372. More Monitors As the longtime soundman at Hopmonk Tavern in Sebastopol, Andy Kaiser has seen his fair share of line checks, microphone sibilance and the ever-present requests for more vocals in the monitor. But in the hundreds of shows he's worked, he's never played on the stage--until now. Kaiser plays guitar in Yeibichai, a dense progressive metal band with Navajo leanings that's just finished recording a debut release in Talmadge near the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. The professionalsounding self-titled effort is heavy, melodic and full of deadly riffs; it's feted in a release show with Simoom and Goodriddler on Saturday, Dec. 11, at the Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 9pm. $10. 707.829.7300. THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 31 32 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN the last day saloon nightclub & restaurant OPEN AT 4 PM tHURS. - sATURDAY AND ANY DAY A SHOW IS SCHEDULED DON'T FORGET...WE SERVE FOOD TOO! AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE PARTIES, BANQUETS, FUNDRAISERS AND OUTSIDE PROMOTERS 707.545.5876 12/8 7:30 PM SHOW > POP ROCK > ON MIX Chris-Mix Warm Up Party with American Idol season 9 winner WIN TIX Mc Near's Dining House Breakfast � Lunch � Dinner BBQ � Pasta � Steak WED 12/8 � 7:00PM DOORS � $21 ADV/$23 DOS � 18+ JAZZ/FUNK/BLUES LEE DEWYZE 12/9 8:30 PM SHOW > $10 > BLUES ROCK CHARLIE HUNTER TRIO SAT 12/11 � 7:00PM DOORS � $16 � 21+ JOHNNY CASH TRIBUTE BAND THE CHRI S DUARTE GROUP 12/10 9:30 PM SHOW > $17/20 > REGGAE CASH'D OUT PLUS LARIATS OF FIRE SUN 12/12 � 5:30PM DOORS � $15/$10 WITH 2 CANS � ALL AGES BLUEGRASS THE HOLIDAY HOEDOWN "THE BIG GIVE-BACK" WITH ABY SS INIAN S + DJ JACQUES 12/11 8:30 PM SHOW > $15/20 > POP 5th Annual Chris-Mix with American Idol Season 8 winner ARANN HARRIS & THE FARM BAND PLUS THE WRONGLERS SAT 12/18 � 7:00PM DOORS � $23 � 18+ FOLK/ACOUSTIC/ROOTS MUSIC KRI S ALLEN + Hedley + Days Difference + Pat Jordan Band BILL BOWKER'S HOLIDAY BLUES BLOWOUT 12/12 7:00 PM SHOW > $20/23 > BLUES CHRISTMAS JUG BAND WITH SPECIAL GUEST BARRY MELTON FRI 12/31 � 8:00PM DOORS � $51 � 21+ TOMMY CASTRO PLUS FROBECK SAT 1/1/2011 � OPEN 9:00AM KIM WIL S ON' S BLUE S ALLSTAR S (FROM THE FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS) + the aces 12/13 7:30 PM SHOW > $20 > BLUES NEW YEAR'S DAY GENE TAYLOR BLUE S BAND WITH DAVE ALVIN 12/16 8:30 PM SHOW > $10 > ROCK 101.7 THE FOX JINGLE BELL BALL BRUNCH ALL DAY BOWL GAMES BLOODY MARY BAR MAKE YOUR OWN $5 SAT 1/15 � 7:00PM DOORS � $25 � ALL AGES DANKO JONES + EDISUN + THE DREAMING 12/18 8:30 PM SHOW > $15 > ROCK SFARZO GUITAR STRINGS XMAS PARTY ROOMFUL OF BLUES BENEFIT FOR PETALUMA HS MUSIC DEPARTMENT SAT 1/29 � 8:45PM DOORS � $18 � 21+ SWEET LEAF + ROCK SKOOL + THOUGHT VOMIT all shows are 21+ unless noted for reservations: 707.545.5876 WONDERBREAD 5 TUE 2/1 � 7:00PM DOORS � $17 � 21+ THE WOOD BROTHERS PLUS CARSIE BLANTON For All Ages Shows � No Children Under 10 Allowed 707.545.2343 120 5th street @ davis street santa rosa, ca Natalie Cole sings from her latest, `Still Unforgettable,' at the Wells Fargo Center Dec. 11. See Concerts, above. 23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma 707-765-2121 www.mcnears.com 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN lastdaysaloon.com 33 Dave Alvin and old band mates bring the blues D ave Alvin has slung his Stratocaster at just about every dingy little nightclub in Sonoma County over the past 25 years, and with each successive visit, the explosive Downey-bred guitarist shatters even more notions of what six strings and a Twin Reverb are capable of. Now 55, his voice has taken on a baritone aged like fine Syrah, but his guitar playing is continually adolescent, following a determined path while crammed full of energy and ideas. It's Alvin's guitar skills that'll be on display this Monday, as he joins names certain to be familiar to his fans at the Last Day Saloon. The Gene Taylor Blues Band features none other than John Bazz and Bill Bateman, whom Alvin played alongside for years in the Blasters, and Taylor himself, who joined the Blasters on keyboards in their later incarnation. Call it a family affair without the family. Locals might remember the uneasy Blasters reunion in 2004 at the Mystic Theatre, when the lingering animosity between brothers Dave and Phil Alvin propelled the show to a sudden end--and Gene Taylor, the pianist, unwilling to let the show stop there, played boogiewoogie licks onstage for 10 more minutes. It was as good an advertisement as any for Taylor's current band, even though half the people I've talked with are still calling it "the Dave Alvin show." The fact it's with his old Blasters band mates is exciting enough; the fact he'll be shredding on straight blues tunes and not his own beautiful originals like "Abilene," "4th of July" and "Nine Volt Heart" is a rare treat. Coupled with Kim Wilson at the venue the night before, it caps a two-day holiday blues bash with the Gene Taylor Blues Band on Monday, Dec. 13, at the Last Day Saloon. 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 7:30pm. $20. 707.545.5876. Gabe Meline 34 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Bar & Dance Hall Wed, Dec 8 8:45�9:45am; 5:45�6:45pm Jazzercise 10am�12:15pm Scottish Dance Youth and Family 7�11pm Singles & Pairs Square Dance Club Thur, Dec 9 8:45�9:45am; 5:45�6:45pm Jazzercise 7:25�11pm Circle `n Squares Square Dance Club Fri, Dec 10 8:45�9:45am Jazzercise 10:30�11:30am Zumba Gold 7:30�11pm Salsa Lesson, Latin & Swing Dance hosted by California Ballroom Coyote Den FREE LIVE ENTERTAINMENT Saturday, December11th Free Appetizer Buffet � UFC Fun Gear Giveaway Big Screen Event � 7pm UFC 124 Sat, Dec 11 8:00�9:00am Jazzercise 9:15�10:15am Jazzercise Sun, Dec 12 8:30�9:30am Jazzercise 10:30�11:30am Zumba Fitness with Anna 5�9:30pm DJ Steve Luther Country Western Lessons and Dancing $10 Mon, Dec 13 8:45�9:45am Jazzercise w/Patti Johnson 5:45�6:40pm Jazzercise 7�10pm Scottish Dance Tues, Dec 14 8:45�9:45am Jazzercise w/Patti Johnson 5:45�6:40pm Jazzercise 7:30�9pm AFRICAN AND WORLD MUSIC DANCE The Felt Tips Rock, Blues, Motown & Country Standards Saturday, December 18th � 9pm Thursday Night KARAOKE � 8:30pm $20 Free Play Drawings Santa Rosa's Social Hall since 1922 1400 W. College Avenue � Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 � www.monroe-hall.com 707-485-0700 coyotevalleycasino.com 5 miles North of Ukiah Hwy 101 � West Rd. Exit BOB'S YOUR UNCLE MEAT & 2 VEG NOW OFFERING A Across the bridge GOOD NOSH-UP HOW'S YOUR FATHER? Sunday Roast Lunch LE ARN ENGLISH. POP IN FOR A PINT. 116 FIFTH STREET (OLD RAILROAD SQUARE) Traditional IN THE HOLE PUB www.TH ETOADPUB .c o m 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN 35 ubergine A Warren Hellman was once turned down for banjo lessons by Pete Seeger. VINTAGE EMPORIUM VINTAGE EMPORIUM NTAGE EMPOR RIUM R An And Cafe And Cafe nd afe af Lunch & Dinner Sat & Sun Brunch EST. 1941 Warren Hellman, bluegrass' humble hero Reservations Advised By Gabe Meline A ND A Fri DI NN E R Dec 10 Sat Cajun Orkestra 8:30pm TOM RIGNEY & FLAMBEAU VOLKER STRIFLER BAND FIREWHEEL S H OW Dec 11 Sun Fri Red Hot Original Blues 8:30pm Dec 12 Dec 17 Sat Roots Rock 4:00pm / In the Rancho Room Original Rock 8:30pm The Funky Grooves of 8:30pm CHROME JOHNSON VINYL Dec 18 Sun Dec 19 2:00�4:00pm Fri Dec 24 Thur 4:00�6:00pm Our 4th Annual GOSPEL CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER SHOW WITH SANTA & MRS CLAUS TIM CAIN'S FAMILY CHRISTMAS SING ALONG THE KINGDOM TRAVELERS 6:00pm Dec 30 Fri Dec 31 Party Favors and Champage Toast 8:30pm NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY WITH Party Favors and Champage Toast 9:00pm FAUX NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH ELVIN BISHOP AND FRIENDS THE ZYDECO FLAMES 415.662.2219 On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com ven if the Wronglers were the worst band in the universe, I'd still want to go to their show this weekend, worm my way up front and give a standing ovation to every song simply because of the group's frontman, Warren Hellman. Hellman, as many may know, is the lovable billionaire who's made the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival a reality in San Francisco for over a decade, at no charge whatsoever to the hundreds of thousands of fans who attend the world-famous event every year. Luckily, the Wronglers aren't just decent, they're downright good. But don't try to tell that to Hellman. "We rehearse twice a week," the dry, selfdeprecating 76-year-old says on the phone from his San Francisco office, "and all the rest of the musicians have gotten really good. All but one. That's why I don't even introduce myself when we're playing." Musing that there may be signs ("but not very many") that his banjo playing has improved slightly since the Wronglers first filled the opening slot at Hardly Strictly six years ago, Hellman predicts that 10 years from now, he "might be mediocre." It's the kind of overly humble assessment that the unfathomably successful investor is known for; he even keeps a low profile at his own festival, mostly because he's busy basking in the glow of performers he still considers idols. An anecdote serves as the perfect example. "One of my partners was on a television show a couple weeks ago," Hellman says, "where it was he and Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. Somebody said, `Does that make you jealous?' I said, `No-- but if he was on a show with Earl Scruggs and Doc Watson, that'd really piss me off !'" In that light, the Wronglers is a dream come true for Hellman. At 28, as a young hotshot at Lehman Brothers, he once called Pete Seeger for banjo lessons and was sternly rebuked by Seeger's manager for being, in Hellman's words, "a plutocrat." He gave up the banjo for 30 years. It wasn't until he found support from his bluegrass heroes at Hardly Strictly that he picked it up again. Hellman goes on. "I know this sounds too gushy or too starry-eyed, but I think the nicest collection of people I've met in my life are all these performers. I was in the nastiest, most competitive business that you could imagine for a lot of years." That nasty business usually takes it pretty hard on the chin from the typical bluegrass fan, but the Wronglers' songs do occasionally call out white-collar criminals. One shows up in "O Isaias," an ode to Hellman's grandfather, who in the early century essentially financed California as we know it: "Henry Fleischmann was head teller of the Hellman bank / He was I.W.'s adviser of the very highest rank / Stole a million dollars, into debt he sank / Never was arrested, never thrown into the tank." This weekend's Wronglers show is a benefit called "The Big Give Back," organized by local musician Arann Harris. To see Harris and his band live is like watching a rural preacher work a congregation like a plow works the field, although he's sadly been forced to lay low lately. In October, Harris was hit and seriously injured by a drunk driver on the way home from his family's farm, and the outpouring of support he received from the community while recuperating inspired his focus on the true reason for the season: giving. Thus, none of the show's proceeds are going to covering Harris' $8,000 in outstanding medical bills, but instead to COTS homeless shelter and kitchen in Petaluma. Add in Scrooge as host, an uglyChristmas-sweater contest, a raff le with gifts from local stores and a gang of special guests, and Hellman's looking forward to his first show in the North Bay. "They said to us, `This is a Christmas show, you oughta do a Christmas song,'" laughs Hellman. "Of course what they're expecting, I suppose, is `Silent Night.' But we've written our own song. The opening line is `Sweet baby Jesus, if only you knew / Just what your birth would lead us all to.' Do you think we'll be in trouble in Petaluma with that?" Warren Hellman and the Wronglers with Arann Harris and the Farm Band play `The Big Give Back' on Sunday, Dec. 12, at the Mystic Theatre. 21 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 6:30pm. $10 with two cans of food; $15 otherwise. 707.762.3565. 36 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN u f o ' s o n c h r i s t m a s e v e � the dogwatch `afore christmas Baby blue angel David Templeton's Freight twisted christmas LIVE 8! Saturday December 1 1 7:30 pm glaser center 547 Mendocino Ave. Santa Rosa (parking @ 7th St. Garage) featuring Will Durst Reed Martin (of the Reduced Shakespeare Company) magazine santa Debi Durst Dave Pokorny John Moran Denise Elia Keith Baker Plus a hilarious short film from monologist � interviews south Tickets: $15 adv. $20 at the door Tickets sold online at www.brownpapertickets.com Also at Copperfields Book Stores The Last Record Store seas Josh Kornbluth, outrageous performances by the Twisted Christmas All-Ukulele Orchestra and dazzling moves by the high-stepping Holiday Hula Hoop All Stars. crumbs at midnight santa This event is a fundraiser for Redwood Empire Food Bank the mos t d an ger ous chr ist mas � Mixed media by Eric Engstrom opens Dec. 12 at Gallery Route One. See Openings, adjacent. SM endless green HYDR 707-254-0200 NAPA, CA O P O N I C S U PPL I E S Galleries Advanced Nutrients, FoxFarm, House & Garden, Cutting Edge, Botanicare, General Hydroponics, Hydro Organics 25-3 Enterprise Court, Napa CA Mon-Fri: 10-6, Sat & Sun: 11-4 THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 37 Dance Events `Twisted Christmas' returns wilder than ever here are no boughs of holly or turtledoves here, folks. Anything resembling a normal celebration of seasonal spirit is tossed gleefully out the window for this weekend's eighth annual Twisted Christmas Live. Having grown tired of the same holiday stories hashed out over and over (who else can recite A Christmas Carol nearly verbatim?), a group of local writers--including the Bohemian's own David Templeton--made up some truly odd Christmasthemed tales, booked a stage and founded this tradition in 2003. Since, it's grown to include an annual offbeat cast, this year including Will and Debi Durst, Dave Pokorny, John Moran, Reed Martin (of the Reduced Shakespeare Company), Keith Baker and Denise Elia. Somewhat accidentally winding up with a tiki theme, organizers are inviting the audience to wear Hawaiian shirts to complement the all-ukulele orchestra and "Holiday Hula-Hoop All-Stars." Famed funnyman Josh Kornbluth delivers a video tale worthy of his warped mind amid animated corpses, communism and UFOs. Somewhere in the midst of all this, Steve Jaxon, host of Swingin' with Sinatra, gets into the seasonal-skewering mix with Last Record Store owner Doug Jayne. When these folks are left to their own devices, things get weird, and not the kind that happens when Grandma has three glasses of sherry and sings "Teenage Dream." According to Templeton, the eccentric madman hosting the show, don't be alarmed if a particular skit turns into an island tribe of flesh-hungry cannibals hunting the meaty girth of Santa Claus himself. All this weirdness goes for a worthy cause: the Redwood Empire Food Bank and the Unitarian Universalist Congregation, Santa Rosa, to provide help to the homeless and hungry. Event organizers note that some material might not be appropriate for small children or anyone who takes the well being of St. Nick to heart. We hear he gets a bit of a bashing. Twisted Christmas Live 8 wreaks havoc on Saturday, Dec. 11, at the Glaser Center, 547 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. 7:30 p.m. $15�$20. 707.568.5381. T Comedy Sara Jane Pohlman 38 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Food & Drink Humor and passion light up `Kid Beowulf' eowulf always was a graphic novel. In fact, brave Beowulf just might be the first modern action hero. After all, he has nearly everything an action hero ought to have: superhuman powers, a magical sword, a loyal buddy in heroic battle and a diabolical enemy. Now, Beowulf truly is a graphic novel thanks to Santa Rosa author Alexis Fajardo, above, who puts in long creative hours at the Charles Schulz Studio. Fajardo has already written and published two sagas in his bloody, gutsy series: Kid Beowulf and the Blood-Bound Oath ($15.95) and Kid Beowulf and the Song of Roland ($17.95), both published by Bowler Hat Comics. Written with both today's kids and adults in mind, he's added humor to the mix and made Beowulf and his arch foe and rival, Grendel, twin brothers, which adds a menacing touch. "I don't want to `de-fang' these great epics," Fajardo says, "but rather inspire people to pick up the original epics and give them a read after they've read my take." Now, Fajardo is hammering out the third work in the series, Kid Beowulf vs. El Cid. In another day and age, Fajaro might have grown up to become a scholar of old English or of the classics of Greek and Roman literature. But comic strips such as Pogo and Calvin and Hobbes grabbed hold of him when he was a kid and never let go. By high school, he'd met and fallen hard for Beowulf. "Beowulf lit my brain on fire," he says now, his voice full of passion. "Then, when I read about Odysseus and Achilles, I could see how visual and striking the language was. From there I began to think of myself as a cartoonist and a graphic novelist." Fajaro will need to have his mojo working steadily for the next couple years in order to complete all his projects. He has about 10 more epics he wants to tell. "It's a lot of work," he says. "I do the whole nine yards--the penciling, the inking and scripting--and it takes time to do it all, but it's really a lot of fun. At the studio, I get to meet a lot of other artists, and it's great to be a part of the team and the whole Schulz legacy too. It's a comic-book dream come true." Fajardo appears Saturday, Dec. 11, at Barnes and Noble, 700 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 3pm. 707.576.7494. B Fair Game rated R Fri, Sat & Sun, Tues, Wed & Thurs, Magic, Music, Dance & The YoYo Man- Tommie Smothers! 2 matinees only: Saturday & Sunday, Holiday Extravaganza: Dec 11 & 12, 2:00pm adults $9; children & seniors $7 "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946) Monday, Dec 20, 7:00pm $8 Tickets 707-996-9756 476 1st St. E. Sonoma, CA www.sebastianitheatre.com Jonah Raskin Field Trips THE BOHEMIAN 12.08.10-12.14.10 39 Film Readings Theater For Kids Lectures 40 12.08.10-12.14.10 THE BOHEMIAN Placing an Ad BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS Contacting Us Bohemian Classifieds 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. ph: 707.527.1200 � By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m. By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288 gg Employment Jobs For Sale Computer Services g Remodeling/Repair g Adoptions Family Services Paid In Advance! Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net LAPTOP, Computer, LCD Panel $249, $99, $55- Like New! CRC Computer Repair Center, 3227 Santa Rosa Ave, 95407. FREE checkup, expert laptop repair, tune-up, spyware removal. 9am-5pm, Tues-Sat. 707-528-8340. Pregnant? Considering Adoption? 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