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Spa Guide inside!

Weight Loss , a Love Story When life gives you a fiancée, a career and 30 extra pounds —make lemonade p21

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08.11.10-08.17.10

THE BOHEMIAN

THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

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THE BOHEMIAN

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The mindful ramblings of a recent visitor By Lou Fassi

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s Lily Tomlin said in one of the routines where she pretends to interview herself: “Lily, when did you leave Detroit?� Answer: “As soon as I figured out where I was.� It has taken me longer to figure out where I was, but better late than never. I just got back to St. Louis, Mo. (pronounced “Misery�), where it is 274 degrees when you factor in the heat index. Suffice it to say that it’s hot. Perspiration is useless; it just sits there. Seriously, it’s a steam bath. I know, you’re jealous. I completely understand. Because: Sonoma County, wow. Roses like I never saw in Portland, Ore. Seems everything grows in Guerneville. And the ocean! And stars you can actually see! And sunny days with cozy, cool nights. (Yes, I know you think your winter is horrible. Try zero degrees for days and days, and 30-mile-an-hour winds that don’t stop.) Such friendly people, such good food and wine. I shall return soon, oh yeah. As soon as I figure out where I am. Because I recently realized, at the ripe age of 54, that my support system was lacking. I had burned a few too many bridges, I suppose. Do not ever stop talking to friends. No excuses. So I reconnected with my high school friend, Michael, who was visiting St. Louis for his father’s 90th birthday. We f lew back to San Francisco together. Lemme back up . . . Back in the ’70s, Michael and I drove out West to see my sister in Palo Alto. When it was time to return to the state of misery, Michael said, “I’m staying.� OK, I thought. Good luck with that! What a fool, I thought, he knows almost no one, is leaving his family and friends, but OK. He stayed. l left. Some 30 years later, I wonder: Just who was the fool? Well, I guess neither one of us was (and I can hear a few of you saying ‘You were!’). But let’s just say that he has had a more vibrant life so far, and let’s just say that I was a bit naive. Fortunately for me, he had the good sense and good fortune to acquire a house in Guerneville. So I visited.

I guess I’m really speaking to myself and those like me who haven’t been enjoying life as much as we would like. If you live in the North Bay, I hope you are counting your blessings. Maybe you’re not. You’re probably too busy enjoying yourself. At least you should be, we all should be; we should do our best to work our least. I have been working for many, many years. Once, my mom gave me a birthday card I won’t forget. It had a cartoon of a horse on the cover with text that read: “You work like a horse all your life, and what do you get?� I opened the card. “Old!� it jeered. “Happy birthday.� Damn if she wasn’t right, as usual. A few weeks ago, I read the article in the Bohemian about working less (“Why Work?� July 7). I realize that not everyone has the opportunity to do so. But I need not have worked so much. I have always had more than I needed. My point is this: if you don’t need the money, don’t work so much. Work just enough to get by. Sadly, it’s taken me this long to figure that out. One afternoon, I was at a gay resort in Guerneville. We had stopped by to look at the beautiful f lowers at the pool. There were lots of men there in swimsuits (and not), just having a good time. I thought, there was a time when I would have tsktsked such “laziness�—Catholic guilt and all that, I guess, or envy or both. How dare they enjoy themselves! Shocking! Now I realize: that’s the essence of life. As Auntie Mame said, “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!� So I say, enjoy this moment. Stop reading and talk to someone, in person. Smile. Enjoy yourselves.

If you don’t need the money, don’t work so much. Work just enough to get by.

Lou Fassi is seriously considering leaving misery behind and making a move to Sonoma County. He recently retired from work as a corporate travel agent, after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease (ugh). Life is too short, no matter what. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

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C74A4 B8<?;H 8B => 6>>3 =4FB Reports from the Gulf of Mexico tell us that the oil-spouting BP well has finally been sealed, and that the devastating impacts of the massive oil spill on beaches, wildlife habitats and marine ecosystem are gradually abating. However, there is a more clear and present danger lurking in the Gulf, yet there are no immediate plans to abate this much larger, deadlier, and continuing spill smothering life in the Gulf. According to Wikipedia, there is an 8,500-squaremile “dead zone� (roughly three times the size of the BP oil slick) resulting from the Mississippi River dumping into the Gulf of Mexico. Chief contributor is American agriculture, spewing billions of tons of factory-farm animal waste, overloaded with nitrogen and other potentially damaging nutrients from petroleum-based fertilizers and pesticides, producing

vast algal blooms that suck up oxygen from the water, killing all marine life. We react dramatically to unanticipated threats like the BP oil spill and accidental deaths. Yet we tend to accept and tolerate the much more damaging but routine threats from animal-waste discharges and deaths from killer diseases linked to meat and dairyladen diets.

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issue first ignited. Such verbiage as: “thwart the will of the people,� “preserve the sanctity of marriage,� “protect the children,� “will lead to polygamy and incest�—are carefully designed, by using fear or anger, to divert attention from what is truly at the heart of their objection: hate. Defined by Merriam-Webster as “intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger or sense of injury� and “extreme dislike or antipathy,� hate is clearly the reason behind the multimillion dollar effort to prevent gay men and women from marrying the ones they love. Protest all they want about being labeled haters, their actions bespeak their true nature. Although those of us who are the target of such hate are used to it, we are nevertheless sick and tired of it being enshrined in the laws of our country and state. Judge Walker’s overturning of Prop. 8 is a triumph for that most cherished of American values: freedom.

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THE BOHEMIAN

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news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties

“Official Newspaper of the Perseid Shower Falling Behind All that Fog�

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FF>>5 Stunningly not set at Green String Farm, this worker labors in Europe as part of an international overseas intern program.

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The government’s guide on how to fire a volunteer farmer By Anna Schuessler

5

or many suffering from four years of undergraduate ennui, fluorescent workplaces or news of big, bad oil companies that like a good leak, getting one’s hands dirty seems like a healthy response. No matter how compelling the cause, however, not everyone can drop everything and start a farm. The backbreaking labor, tangle of federal regulations and the dim prospect of rolling in the big ones prevent most from committing to a fully fledged farm. Which is what makes volunteer or intern work agreements with a small independent farm the perfect solution for many itching to find an earthworm or learn about organic agriculture. Not to mention the benefit they bestow on the farms themselves, many of which can’t afford the luxury of extra labor

in the face of increasing challenges. But with a sudden spike in labor-law inspections by the Division of Labor Standards Enforcement, these symbiotic relationships may soon end. Organizations like Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) and World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF) provide outlets for those infatuated with farming. The latter is a conglomeration of national organizations that link those willing to work the land with farms that could use an extra hand, while CSA works on sustainable business and distribution structures. Farms registered under the CSA name are known for their commitment to bringing fresh produce directly to members of their community, but some are also known for dealing with volunteer or intern workers. Some of these relationships are proffered

by academic institutions, but many are privately and informally contracted among two parties with similar a similar interest: to exchange a good. Workers receive hours of sunshine and instruction, oftentimes with a box of fresh produce as a bonus, and farms get the labor they need to make ends meet. According to one North Bay CSA farmer, the two parties are “making a deal that makes sense.� However, interns and volunteers, while their intentions are well-meaning, are not the most efficient sources of labor. “It’s hard to bring someone on your farm who’s never worked on a farm, and then pay them the same as you’re paying professional farmworkers,� this farm owner (who wishes to remain unnamed) says. “There’s no way to make a profit like that.� The letter of the law doesn’t seem to care so much. According to Carl &%

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THE BOHEMIAN

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08.11.10-08.17.10

09

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Borden, associate counsel for the California Farm Bureau Federation’s Legal Services division, “persons are not allowed to act as employees for a for-profit entity without being afforded all the rights and benefits of being an employee.� Unless a farmworker is provided with workers’ compensation and state-specified benefits, their productive work for a farm profiting from their labor is illegal. The reason for this? “Our society has these laws set up for the protection of not only those workers themselves but also to protect other employees whose own wages and hours and working conditions could be adversely affected by there being other people to do the work for less money or even for free,� Borden says.

Getting busted for having an intern is the farmer’s newest woe. Farm owners in the North Bay area have seen a dramatic increase in inspections by officers under the State Labor Commissioner, scanning farm offices for payroll documentation and ensuring that workers are receiving workers’ compensation and full benefits. Violations of these standards can leave a farm without its army of volunteers or with a hefty citation, sometimes both. For a farm looking to break even at the end of the year, these violations can prove crippling. So, to love the law or leave it? For some, volunteers and interns have become the only viable source of labor. But for others, like Paul Kaiser of Singing Frogs Farm, paying workers, even those who come to his farm to volunteer their time, is not just about abiding by the law. “It means what [the workers] do really is valued and it’s not just to fulfill their own agricultural romanticism,� he says. Kaiser pays his volunteers and interns $10 an hour as long as they work fewer than 500 hours at his farm. Once they reach that benchmark, he considers whether or not to add them to his payroll. He says, “The socially just thing to do is get people full-time, yearround employment, because if you’re giving someone a volunteer position that doesn’t get paid, you’re taking a position from someone who might need it.� Kaiser realizes the law is incongruent for some situations. “‘One size fits all’ for a law never works,� he says and cites the illogic emphasis placed on internships in the farming industry as evidence of this. Kaiser is disappointed by the government’s oversight of unpaid internships in other industries, especially within big corporations. “They can afford to pay these kids, and they are not paying them. Talk to them first, then come after the farmers,� he says.

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Fall Plant Sale ;^RW P]S ;^PS Is shopping really all that women can do to save the earth?

By Juliane Poirier

F

hen I got back from bonnie Scotland, I was very happy to see in my emailbox a wee press release with a subject line announcing how women will be the ones to get us out of this planetary mess we’re in. “Of course we will,� I thought smugly as I clicked. “Haven’t we seen that the old patriarchy fails us? Haven’t we seen what happens to societies when women are oppressed? That it was left-brained lameness that got us into this crisis in the first place?� In Edinburgh, I had already been musing on the plight of women and the stupid things men in power did to them in ages past to keep them from having inf luence. In the most beautiful, gothic-looking graveyard I’ve ever seen—not far from the cafe where J. K. Rowling scribbled out her first draft of Harry Potter— there were reports of violent ghosts in one spot we were not allowed to enter. I guess the ghosts were pissed off, and rightly so. These were victims murdered for political views. “It’s the place where they locked up the Covenanters [political protesters including women] and left them to die,� my friend said, pointing to a fenced-off section of the graveyard. A few blocks away at another spot, she pointed to a statue just beside a cathedral and said, “Here’s where they cut off prisoners’ heads.� The severed heads were put on spikes. I guess the location made it easier to get to church before or after each execution. A few blocks farther along was a site where women and children were once bricked alive into a building and left to die because some of the children exhibited plague symptoms, and the city fathers weren’t going to take any chances. Far below the blood-stained streets that

slope downhill from Edinburgh the castle, lovely lawns and f lowers and trees mark the site where there was once a sewage-filled lake, a loch where women with brains and talent who happened to offend the men in charge were tied up and tossed in the water to test whether or not they were witches. Some misogynistic moron scratched his head came up with this one: If she sank, she was not a witch—but then of course she was dead by drowning. If she f loated, she was a witch, so they had to kill her. When they finally drained the loch, the bottom was filled with skeletons; some of the trussed-up female skeletons had stones attached to them. It was uplifting, then, to come home to an announcement promising that women were the heroines of the green era. But I was a bit let down when I opened the message only to find that it was one more vote-with-dollars pronouncement, an innocuous little economic-based strategy that urged women to buy green products and thereby force industries to make more of them. Right. Sure. “Ladies, get us out of this mess: Go buy ‘Ninetieth’ Generation cleaning products and save the world!� No wonder the woman behind that press release was allowed to present on Fox Ruse—I mean News. OK. I’m sorry. I write about sustainability, so I know we do need to buy green products. Of course! But the ghosts of that long-gone loch still haunt me. No woman of vision and courage will ever be herded into a concentration camp and left to die for buying earth-friendly products. As long as we propose solutions that require spending money, women are safe from accusations of witchery, safe from forced drowning—except the kind that comes from endless immersion in nondisruptive behavior that involves shopping.

In Edinburgh, I had been musing on the plight of women . . .

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:216.

CWT FWTT[ ^U #RWP] Online forum gets spin from Fox to Anonymous

By Daedalus Howell

5

or some, like Fox News, the online community known as “4chan� is a terrorist training camp. For others, including a growing cadre of Sonoma County teens—particularly those who are male, live with their parents and are practiced in navigating the backwaters of the web—4chan is a graffiti-tagged playground where the proverbial soapboxes of free speech are stacked like an endless game of Jenga. “It depends on where you go,� said an 18-year-old Sonoma man, who, like the de facto identity setting when one logs on to 4chan.org, prefers to remain anonymous. “Some places are the armpit of the internet; other places are a great place to share information, photos and generally waste time.� In its current iteration, the board offers little more in the way of user interface than the assiduously utilitarian Craigslist. Though 4chan may look like a reliquary for ancient HTML code, it functions as the primordial soup from which many of the internet’s memes erupt virally into public consciousness, from Rick-rolling (punking people with cloaked links to a certain Rick Astley video) to “LOL cats,� photos of kitties captioned with poor grammar (and later the cornerstone of a media empire launched Ben Huh, who was featured here May 19). Like much of the internet’s quirkier mutations, 4chan was birthed in the bedroom of a 15-year-old high school student. It’s putative father, the now 22-year-old Christopher Poole, who uses the online handle “moot,� sought to create an American version of the popular Japanese board, Futaba Channel, which itself was an offshoot of 2channel, another Japanese site thought to be the largest online forum in the world. 4chan offers a bevy of forum topics, from Japanese culture and creative pursuits (origami, art criticism, fashion) to weapons and the paranormal and, predictably, most shades of pornography, animated and otherwise. As with any community, 4chan has its own culture and protocols with different permutations for each topic forum. It even has an orientation procedure of a sort. According

to the Sonoma teen, most people begin their 4chan odyssey in a forum simply called “/B/.� “If you’re in /B/, you’re probably an immature asshole. Most people who start out in /B/ are about between the ages of 11 and 18, like my age, and it can go higher and lower, but it doesn’t really matter,� the teen explained. “It’s just the way it works—it’s like your growing-up period. It’s that stage of puberty.� It follows then that one’s online pubescence comes besotted with juvenile humor, especially as regards the use of one’s identity. “If you put a name in the name field, you’re called ‘name fag,’ which most users don’t mind. They’re usually not douche bags or people who are likely to get flamed,� explained the Sonoman, who made ample apologies for the board’s use of hate language. First timers are advised to “lurk,� online parlance for lingering in a forum and absorbing its ethos before eventually daring to post something. The blowback for not respecting the culture of a board can result in an online tongue-lashing or worse. Some 4chan participants, under the loose moniker “Anonymous� (what else?), have allegedly organized campaigns of harassment against organizations and individuals that have raised its ire. Last month, the group virtually shut Gawker.com down, swamping the massive aggregate’s servers. Last spring, Brian Mettenbrink of Nebraska was sentenced to a year in federal prison and ordered to pay $20,000 in restitution to the Church of Scientology after being convicted of participating in such cyber-attacks. Other allegations have been lobbed at the group, which isn’t so much an organized body as a highly motivated evolutionary offshoot of crowd-sourcing. Perhaps someday their collective energies will further coalesce and spring new variations on activism, protest or even candidacy. Until then, as the Sonoman explained, “We’re basically the quintessential geek culture, you know.� But it’s the geeks who shall inherit the earth.

4chan has its own culture and protocols with different permutations for each topic forum.

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THE BOHEMIAN

Daedalus Howell is not anonymous at DHowell.com.

3<<1 1?6;8

2>A4 BD??>AC4AB Paula Downing and Paula Shatkin want to see the Grav’s legacy grow.

274;B40 ;8=3B4H

7PaS BT[[ Saving the Gravenstein apple may not be easy as pie By Anna Schuessler

C

he Gravenstein apple is not a luxury good. It’s ornery. Its stems never grow more than an inch, forcing many an unripe apple off the branch as it competes for space. It’s ugly. It bruises easily, condemning many to the toss pile before they even hit the market. And it’s tart. Gravensteins do not invite that big old bite with that big old crunch; rather, they’re usually saved for baking and sauces, where sugar can blunt them. So says Ken Ratzlaff, owner of Ratzlaff Ranch and a lifelong apple juice producer. Standing next to a stubby Gravenstein tree, his head barely shaded by the gnarled branches, he pragmatically explains the idiosyncrasies of a fruit that has become a regional sensation. The generators that fuel his gigantic refrigeration room operate at a soft roar, rendering his low-toned voice almost inaudible. When asked why he would choose to farm such a prickly orb, he says, after a long pause, “Guess you could say I had no choice.� Apples are in Ratzlaff ’s blood. His grandfather bought the ranch property for apple orchards

and berries around 1924, and Ratzlaff himself took the reins from his father in 1968. Accompanied by a slight shrug and a small twist of his mouth, his response suggests that it takes a certain kind to farm this apple. It didn’t used to be that way. Once dripping from branches, the Gravenstein, more affectionately known as the “Grav,� experienced highs in the late 1940s and early ’50s that are no longer fathomable today. The dried fruit was sold to the military in vast amounts, and San Francisco became a marketing destination. Times were good. Comparing the 900 acres currently devoted to Gravs with the 10,000 acres the fruit claimed in its heyday is sobering, to say the least. But Sebastopol historian Evelyn McClure says spikes in apple production are not uncommon. “It goes in cycles with our economy,� she says, citing a disinterest in the apple that coincided with a recession after WWI. “[T]hey started ripping out the orchards.� The graphic uprooting of seemingly harmless trees is exactly how the apple has won the recognition and support of regional actors in recent years. Slow Food Russian River, a chapter of Slow Food International, is devoted to the

promotion of eating seasonally and protecting the agrarian culture of locally grown food. For Paula Shatkin, one of the group’s organizers, the annihilation of apple orchards is precisely what prompted her to act in its defense. “Around eight years ago, everywhere you went, there was an apple orchard getting chopped down and made into a vineyard,� she says. She and other group members documented the apple’s cultural importance to Sebastopol, snapping photos of street signs and storefronts bearing its name in the hopes of establishing the fruit as a Presidium food by Slow Food International terms. (Entrance into Slow Food’s Presidia program is the international movement’s highest honor, a way of recognizing foods that contribute significantly to the biodiversity and heritage of a local culture.) But a name is only a name. The fruit cannot hope to gain acreage or patronage with an increase in recognition alone, as Shatkin is deeply aware. “We have been really trying to get [the farmers] to work together as a group,� she says. Because farmers are often forced to charge prices lower than the cost of producing the apples, many find the &+ THE BOHEMIAN

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15

&*

6A0EB

business unprofitable. Shatkin and the other members of Slow Food Russian River have attempted to help them agree on a feasible price and to stick with it, a feat that requires the cooperation of all area growers. Shatkin sees the group’s role as one that is both practical and supportive. “We want to say to the farmers, ‘You have a product that is worth something.’�

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he Ratzlaff Ranch has all the appearances of a proper Grav sanctuary, a testament to the once-forgottenbut-now-eternally-remembered victim of monoculture in Sonoma County. Its sleepy apple orchards and tucked-away pressing facilities harbor Rome Beauty and Golden Delicious trees in addition to Gravenstein, as well as thousands of gallons of apple juice. Ratzlaff produces a bottle to sample. Beebuzzing nature, sweet juice and the fresh country air—who could ask for anything more? Ratzlaff quickly dispels all poetry. “It’s questionable whether or not you can really make a living out of them.� Standing under the partial shade of a stubby Gravenstein tree, he recites the costs involved with producing and shipping the fruit. “The box itself is almost $2 in cardboard,� he says, and together with postage, the total cost to ship a box of Gravensteins is $11–$12. Not at all worth it when boxes of apples from Washington sell for $10 per box, not counting the challenges Ratzlaff faces in keeping deer snouts out of his business. “The main orchard is open to the deer, and they come in every day and chew on them. I can buy [the apples] almost cheaper than I could raise them, so I haven’t been replacing the trees like I should,� he says. Ratzlaff suspects that an increase in acreage devoted to vineyards, which are often fenced off and inaccessible to the deer, is behind the animal’s newfound aggression. While Ratzlaff ’s concerns about the industry are not specific to Gravenstein apples, they signal doleful circumstances for apple farmers that make the heritage piece’s survival a little more bleak. And compounding it is the threat that cheap apple concentrate from China presents to producers and processors. “If they drag their prices down over there, they can bring it in here so cheap that the processors can’t afford to make it. So they either don’t make it or they drop the price of apples. And usually they drop the price of apples,� Ratzlaff says with a deadpan expression. With what seems like literally all the odds against the Gravenstein, does Ratzlaff see the fruit becoming obsolete one day? “I don’t see them dying out,� he says. “It’s not going to be as big as it used to be. But there are enough people around that know what a Gravenstein is, so there’ll still be a demand for it.� As Ratzlaff describes it, “the best apple around� isn’t going anywhere for a while. Help celebrate this regional fruit at the Gravenstein Apple Festival, Saturday–Sunday, Aug. 14–15. Ragle Ranch Park, 500 Ragle Road, Sebastopol. Saturday, 10am to 6pm; Sunday, 10am to 5pm. $5–$12. 707.837.8337.

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THE BOHEMIAN

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<0A:4C <43;4H t’s no secret that for budding young farmers, getting into local established farmers markets can be tough. Not only is the admission process fraught with favoritism, but fees apply as well. Duskie Estes, co-owner of Zazu Restaurant & Farm, has a different idea. “We decided to open our property to farmers with no booth charges,� she says, “and, ideally, no politics.�

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Thus, every Saturday through the month of August, the Santa Rosa restaurant hosts Zazu Farm Stand, a farmers market, says coordinator and resident Zazu farmer Milo Mitchel, inspired by the pop-up markets in places like San Francisco’s Dolores Park, where quick Twitter posts alert foodies to impromptu gatherings of food suppliers. “I mean, we’re not underground,â€? says Mitchel, “but we’re inspired by really tiny entrepreneurs serving local food. It sort of has this avant-garde feel.â€? With participants like Harmony Farm Supply and Ceres Community Project, the weekly event in Zazu’s gravel parking lot also hosts workshops with local farmer Maile Arnold—last week’s was tomatoes; this week’s is preserving and jarring fruit with less sugar using direct sunlight. Hand silk-screened Victory Garden posters from Portland artist Joe Wirtheim and local acoustic music add to the atmosphere, but it’s the hands-on knowledge that’s the focus, with instructional pamphlets placed with every vegetable start sold. Additionally, “there’s a farmer there who can answer questions about how to care for the plants,â€? notes Estes, “and then there’s a chef there who can tell you how to cook it.â€? The most immediate reason to check it out? Zazu’s own BLTs made on-site ($11), with peach bellinis ($9) and gelato from sister location Bovolo ($3.50). Mmmmm. And while the Farm Stand is only scheduled through August, both Estes and Mitchel say it could extend into September, depending on interest. “I deďŹ nitely think there’s room for more markets,â€? says Mitchel. “Just look at the business that Whole Foods does, or even the farm stand on Fulton that’s selling seconds—I heard they did 300 grand last season.â€? Zazu Farm Stand runs Saturdays from 11am to 2pm at Zazu Restaurant & Farm, 3535 Guerneville Road, Santa Rosa. 707.523.4814.

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THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

19

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THE BOHEMIAN

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C7D<1?A8=C 24;;0AB t all started out innocently enough, says Scott LindstromDake. What to name his ďŹ rst release, a cuvĂŠe of Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet Franc and Merlot? Such Bordeaux-style blends are sometimes called Meritage in California, but that term is reserved for Meritage Association members. So he called it “Threesome.â€? When he added another grape just for fun, he called it “Four Play.â€? Having started something that he could not stop, the next sumptuous white wine blend had to be “Arousal.â€? Heady stuff for a wine that bears the ascetic designation “veganâ€?!

I

Since Swirl last visited, Thumbprint has acquired a bigger footprint on the Healdsburg square, neighboring CopperďŹ eld’s Books and Bovolo Restaurant. Termed a tasting lounge and art gallery, the deep space invites a variety of visiting styles, from tasting cursorily at the curvaceous bar to lingering amid the pillows of the hookah-den-styled tent in the back. The staff and atmosphere seem to inspire easy cross-conversation among visitors, and events include live music on some nights, with the lounge open until 9pm. Thanks to revised rules that went into effect this year, wine can now be purchased by the glass. On top of these enticements, Thumbprint recently added an excellent nosh-pairing upgrade: local, seasonal treats served on black slate platters. A caponata of eggplant, tomato and basil locally made by the Hummus Guy is a ďŹ ne match for the dry but sweet-scented 2009 Riesling, Candy Shop Vineyard ($24), an apricot amazer with honey, white raisin and a hint of Frangelico. The 2009 Dry Creek Valley Viognier ($29) is heavy on vanilla and the pungent fuzz of ripe stone fruit, and only gains appeal when chasing down a crisp slice of peach with fresh ricotta. We know about the 2008 Dry RosĂŠ ($18), which our tasting panel recently agreed was the far-and-away favorite rosĂŠ but wouldn’t have guessed it’s 100 percent Merlot. It’s deep-hued and fruity, yet the watermelon and strawberry gazpacho (or as the wags here like to call it, cold-a-suppĂŠ) nearly shows it up. Composed of the temporarily unfashionable old Pommard clone, the 2008 Russian River Valley Pinot Noir, Schneider Vineyard ($49) is bright and clean, with mixed-berry jelly, nutmeg spice and a ďŹ nish that lays a line briey down center palate—great for a food pairing. But what’s this: sliced ďŹ gs in a blanket of prosciutto? Although longtime vegetarians, owners Scott and Erica Lindstrom-Dake offer options at their tasting lounge. It’s the wine that’s “veganâ€?—for a little clariďŹ cation on that, stop by Thumbprint and ask. Not to worry: there’s certainly nothing hair-shirted about these wines. Thumbprint Cellars, 102 Matheson St., Healdsburg. Open 11am to 6pm Sunday–Thursday, to 7pm Saturday. Winetasting only, $5–$10; with food, $10–$20. 707.433.2393.

James Knight

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By Scott Keneally

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I love even writing the word. Unfortunately, I haven’t eaten any salt in the past 237 hours. In fact, I haven’t eaten anything in the past 237 hours. I’ve been surviving solely on the lemonade I make fresh each day with maple syrup and cayenne pepper. Welcome to the Master Cleanse. Otherwise known as the lemonade diet, the Master Cleanse is a trendy 10-day food fast that, depending on whom you ask, either detoxifies your body or dangerously deprives it of nutrition. I could explain the theories behind each camp, but that would be incredibly boring. I’m not a doctor or a scientist, and, besides, this isn’t about that. I don’t really care if it actually “cleanses� my body, for I’m not on this trip to detoxify. I am shamelessly trying to drop weight before getting hitched to a certified personal trainer.

Whereas my fiancĂŠe, Amber, can eat whatever she wants—mainly choosing the greens and grains that make her look good—I prefer to eat sweet, starchy and savory things that strictly make me feel good. And it shows. I’m not talking about the gluttonous smile of the good life. I’m talking about my gut, which is, quite literally, a growing concern, one that’s likely exacerbated by my habit of first licking and then individually resalting each tortilla chip before eating. Our impending wedding seemed like a good time to take stock, to shake things up. Most literature suggests you prepare yourself for the shock of starvation by easing into the diet for three days. Raw fruits and veggies on the first day. Juices, broths, soups and smoothies on the second. Orange juice on the third. This makes perfect sense, of course, but I ignored “most literatureâ€? and took a decidedly different approach. My ease-in featured french toast and crispy bacon at 2am the night before the fast began. I hoped that stuffing myself with all of my favorite foods would hold me over long into the first day. I was wrong.

That evening was marked, or shall I say marred, by the Potato Incident, a transgression that involved swiping a roasted potato off my fiancÊe’s dinner plate and sucking it voraciously while she was in the bathroom. I even chewed it for a few minutes before spitting it into a napkin. It was like a lap dance that went a layer or two of clothing too far, and, if anything, it only intensified my craving for food. Salt, mainly. Of course, it’d be much easier if Amber was on board and not cooking roasted potatoes and whatnot in the kitchen. I didn’t press it though, because, to be honest, if I looked, ate and exercised like she does, there’s no effing way I’d go on a crash diet—because I wouldn’t need to. Besides, as far as I can tell, she’s already sacrificing enough by mostly eating grains and greens all day long.

1

efore moving to the North Bay six years ago, I was a tall, skinny writer living in a Venice Beach bungalow. Perhaps skinnier than I should have been, as I was a pseudo-manorexic with peculiar eating habits. You know who I mean. The guy who pats his pizza dry '' THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

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with a napkin. The manly man who orders a Jack and diet Coke. The one who claws out his bagel and requests light cream cheese. You might have even walked in on him in a restaurant bathroom, standing in front of the mirror with his shirt pulled up, rotating like a rotisserie chicken. Yeah, I was that guy. At the time, I blamed Gloss Angeles for my assorted neuroses. Never before had I been so cripplingly fixated on my weight or spent more time self-loathing on a scale. And with some perspective, I now know that I was right. It was L.A.’s fault. I know this because, since moving to the North Bay, I’ve quietly padded myself with 30 pounds. Some of this has to do with my ex, an impassioned foodie who quickly homed in on my more neurotic habits and encouraged me to stop doing things like, say, weighing myself before and after meals. Some of it has to do with the comfort of living in a small town, surrounded by really good friends who aren’t obsessive, serial scalers. But the food, well, that’s most of it. The local dining scene is nothing short of a mouth orgy, and I personally find it impossible to resist its siren song. But now, as I close in on my wedding date, I want to give back some of those 30 pounds. Half, to be exact. And the lemonade diet is my best bet.

the real scoop for North Bay’s art scene

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010 Book your reservation NOW! advertising deadline: Thursday, August 26th

847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Phone: 707.527.1200 Fax: 707.527.1288 email: sales@bohemian.com

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THE BOHEMIAN

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know this because it’s all the rage in Hollywood. BeyoncÊ dropped 20 for her role in Dreamgirls. Jared Leto dropped 60 after his role in another film nobody saw. And most recently, Ashton and Demi took the plunge and tweeted their way through their Master Cleanse. All four days of it, anyway, before they quit. Of course I had some questions going into the cleanse. Would I be starving? Um, yeah. That’s kinda the point. I’m drinking enough calories to function, but there’s no way around the hunger pangs. At times, my stomach sounds like a Texas thunderstorm. And while I love those white noise machines with environmental sounds to help you sleep, I’m not a big fan of being the white noise machine. And that’s what I am. In addition to looking miserable, I now sound it too. Would I lose lots of weight? Oh, yeah. After the first day, I had shed three-and-a-half pounds. After the second, six. After five days, I had lost 10 pounds and what appeared to be a full cup size from my man-boobs. And as of right now, just moments from finishing the fast, I’ve lost a whopping 16 pounds and look like a guy I used to know. Yes, I concede that much of this is water weight. But it begs the question, why am I retaining so much water? Again, I’m no doctor, but my best guess is: salt. Way too much salt. Which makes perfect sense because I’m the kind of guy who thinks salt needs to be salted. Would I be exhausted? One would think, but against any rhyme or reason, the diet hasn’t left me feeling exhausted or depleted so much as amped on

adrenaline, 18 hours a day. In fact, I’ve had enough energy to go on several long runs, and I’ve been insanely productive. I spend my days in my Healdsburg cottage, reading and writing and otherwise wired like a nineyear-old on Nintendo Wii. And of course, I weigh myself constantly, meticulously graphing the results. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when every minute feels like six or seven. Can I leave the house? Now I can. But initially? Forget about it. In those first few days, I was at all times exactly one whiff of bacon away from caving. So I cleared my social calendar, shut off my phone and shuttered the world. But once I settled into the routine and started seeing results—like my chin for the first time in a while—I felt enough resolve to venture out to the movies and a taco night. (I went to see Salt, in case you’re wondering, which, when you think about it, is kind of my dream movie.) And the taco night was fairly easy to manage because I was eight days in, the home stretch, though I did spend much of the evening circling the serving platters, sniffing at everything like a hopeful hound. What would I eliminate? As much as I’d love to share these kinds of details, my editor, for obvious reasons, would rather I didn’t. She made this pretty clear upon assigning this piece: “You must absolutely, entirely, 1,000 percent swearto-the-freakin’-goddess that any and all references to poop, excrement, diarrhea or any other defecatory matter be so smally noted as to perhaps not even exist.� So while I’d love to explain the mechanics of the cleanse’s suggested “saltwater flush� and explore why someone who wasn’t lost and drifting at sea might chug saltwater, I can’t. But the one word I’ll leave you with is this: sediment.

8

t’s over! Ten outrageously long days have mercifully ended and I feel positively euphoric. It’s been exactly 240 hours since that last bite of french toast, that last crunch of bacon. And while you may assume I’ll be racing to celebrate with some french fries, I’m not. For one, it’s 2am and everything is closed. Second, I’m supposed to ease out for a few days with juice and soups and such. But even if those weren’t factors, even if I was free to eat whatever I wanted right now, the bottom line is my perspective has shifted. I’m a new man. Meet the new me. The reading, writing, running me. The very best me. I don’t crave fries like I did before. Not yet anyway. An apple with peanut butter? Sure. Amber’s healthy food? Absolutely. That’s the thing about the Master Cleanse, perhaps the best thing. It makes you hyper-aware of your body and gives you ample time to reflect upon what you put into it. But like anything else in life, it’s what we do with our hard-won scraps of knowledge that really counts. If I resume all my old habits, I’ll have suffered for nothing. So moving forward, I know that if I want to see this guy in the mirror, if I want to slip into that skinny white suit on my wedding day and beyond, I need to modify my lifestyle. I need to make different decisions. Most importantly, I need to stop salting my salt.

1 2 0 1 0 S PA G U I D E

! h a a a a Sp

AKOIA

An owner-operated spa,Akoia entices clients to “treat thyself” to the unique services it offers. A warm Thai herbal poultice massage counterbalances the daily wear and tear of life; the sensual Javanese body scrub was originally a ritual used to prepare brides for a night of sensuality and pleasure. Check the website for this season’s special, a two-hour restores package, one hour of massage and a one-hour signature facial.

452-B Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.1270. akoiadayspa.com

ALLES Alles offers a green environment and biodynamic skincare products like Babor and Dr. Hauschka’s from Germany and others from Switzerland and Hungary. A unique treatment of manual lymphatic massage gently detoxifies the body to promote systemic health, help eliminate congestion and enhance the immune system.

380 Windsor River Road, Windsor. 707.838.3223. allesdayspa.com

AMAZING FACE Amazing Face Sebastopol invites you to step into a serene atmosphere and experience the luxury of holistic organic facials and body treatments that will leave you feeling rejuvenated and positively glowing. Being pampered by two exceptionally gifted aestheticians, Marianne Allred and Annie Carouba, is a thoroughly healing experience that revives both body and spirit for women, men and teens. They are the exclusive Sonoma County retailer of Organic Mineral Colorcare Make-up. As a bonus, Reiki and energy treatments are included with facials. Amazing Face is conveniently located right off the Sebastopol square.

107 N.Main St., Sebastopol . 707.478.3374. AmazingFaceSebastopol.com.

BLUSH A DAY SPA

Relaxation may be the best deal in town We hope that you enjoy our nearly exhaustive roundup of North Bay spas. All of the establishments listed offer at the minimum massage and at most every legal bodily service in your wildest imagination. Is your addiction caviar, crushed pearls, colored lights, paprika, seaweed, chocolate or mud? Get your fix. I’ve certainly been getting mine. —Most listings compiled by Suzanne Daly

Unassumingly nestled into the corner shop behind the Sonoma Ballet Conservatory, Blush a Day brings space-age technology to rural Sonoma. Run by a husband-and-wife team, James and Delores De Alba, the spa specializes in skincare, brow shaping, body waxing and treatments including massage and salt scrubs. Organic products are used for facials, which may also incorporate the use of NASA-developed Max 7 LED light therapy. Using seven different wavelengths—colors—of light to noninvasively strengthen and heal skin, the glow will have you blushing from compliments.

561 Broadway, Ste C., Sonoma. 707.935.0116. blushspasonoma.com.

The Chiropractic Center Wellness care and optimal health is Dr. Jake Quihuis’ goal. Dr. Jake is aware that each patient’s needs are different, and he treats each person accordingly. Chiropractic care can help your body find its best and maintain it. With regular visits as part of your routine, your body begins to integrate its own wisdom for healing and vital being. Dr. Jake uses traditional modes of chiropractic care as well as new treatments such as cold laser therapy, flexion/distraction, myofascial release, vibration 2

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massage and neuromuscular reeducation for helping to relieve pain and discomfort. The Chiropractic Center offers different styles of massage therapy through a variety of massage therapists at the office who specialize in Swedish, Shiatsu, deep tissue and sports massage.

1819 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.523.9850. chiropracticcentersantarosa.com.

HAPPY HEALTH SPA Specializing in deep tissue, Swedish, sport, Shiatzu, back walking, hot stone, acupressure, aromatherapy massage and foot reflexology. Chair massage and body scrub also available. Open daily with very reasonable prices. Late appointments. Across from Santa Rosa Plaza.

nutritional coaching with a supervising physician. Free morning meditation each Thursday at 8am. Enjoy the Twilight Zone Special, a cedar enzyme bath for two for $99, Sunday–Friday after 5pm through Labor Day. Check online for Locals Night (one Thursday per month) and other monthly discounts, and sign up for birthday specials.

525 Ross St., Santa Rosa. 707.591.8899.

209 Bohemian Hwy., Freestone. 707.823.8231. osmosis.com.

COLDWATER CREEK— THE SPA

HYATT VINEYARD CREEK SPA

PETALUMA LAVENDAR DAY SPA

Famous for its pedicures, Coldwater’s clients have been known to fall asleep in the spectacularly cushy chairs only to awaken to newly refurbished toes. There’s a pedicure specifically for guys, too, and they love the comforters, hot neck wraps and eye pillows that heighten the experience. Join the e-mail list to receive customer specials. Repeat customers who rebook their next midweek appointment before they leave receive a 20 percent discount. In Montgomery Village,

True to its name, Vineyard Creek is a wine-based spa, and most of the products used, including those made from lavender and mustard, are locally made. Treatment options are classed as tours, pairings and tastings. Clients may choose between Merlot or Chardonnay to nourish the skin with anti-oxidants or grape sugars. Vineyard Creek also exclusively offers Matanzas Creek lavender products for wraps, scrubs, facials and just a nice deep breath of Sonoma. The spa offers a 20 percent off “locals special” year-round.

728 Farmers Lane, Santa Rosa. 707.566.9314.

170 Railroad St., Santa Rosa. 707.636.7300. vineyardcreek.hyatt.com.

This new day spa is tucked away in a quiet place near downtown Petaluma. In addition to offering excellent massage and relaxing body treatments, an authentic Finnish steam sauna provides rejuvenating steam that improves circulation and increases the body’s ability to remove toxins from the system, leaving you feeling lighter, calmer and clearer. When combined with a foot reflexology treatment that promotes the natural self-healing power of the body, you will experience an overall improvement in your mental and physical well-being.

FAIRMONT SONOMAMISSION INN SPA Built on the site of ancient thermal baths, this elegant Spanish mission–style spa is one of the only luxury resorts in the country with its own source of thermal mineral water. Featuring pools of varying temperatures, the spa offers a bathing ritual to guests and locals who partake of its services. This expansive facility is noted for its extensive facials, including ones with caviar or Sonoma lavender. Sonoma County residents benefit from the Good Neighbor program, receiving 10 percent discounts on all spa treatments Sunday–Friday. Call the spa directly to find out about their “treatment of the month.”

100 Boyes Blvd., Sonoma. 707.938.9000. fairmont.com/Sonoma.

GARDEN SPA AT MACARTHUR PLACE Named for its aromatic gardens and whimsically decorated with gardening implements, the spa offers clients treatments based on fruits, flowers, vegetables, herbs and old Mother Earth herself. Of note are the signature treatments, especially the Citrus Tree, a scrub, bath and massage applying all the sweetness of an orange or lemon grove. Unique vegetable treatments include the Eight Greens Facial. Spa clients may use the pool and co-ed steam room for the day. Saddles Restaurant is also on the property. Join the Garden Club for online specials throughout the year, including a 15 percent discount for locals.

29 E. MacArthur St., Sonoma. 707.938.2929. macarthurplace.com.

GROOVE STUDIO MASSAGE & YOGA Dance, move, breathe and be inspired at Groove Studio. Strengthen your body and free your mind. We encourage you to discover your unlimited strength, grace, and beauty through movement. Relax and enjoy a rejuvenating massage.Experience a renewed spirit at Groove Studio, Santa Rosa’s most enjoyable dance studio located near beautiful Howarth Park and Spring Lake.

4527 Montgomery Drive, Ste. L, Santa Rosa. 707.539.6261.

KENWOOD INN & SPA Kenwood focuses on the healing properties of all parts of the grape, from seeds to wine. Kenwood also features Arcona products favored by celebrities. Day guests accepted upon availability.

10400 Sonoma Hwy. (Highway 12), Kenwood. 707.833.1293. kenwoodinnandspa.com.

MERMAIDS SPA & SEAWEED BATH SHOP You can almost hear the ocean at this spa that caters more to locals than visitors. Mermaids’ forte is massage combined with one of the many healing hydromineral baths infused with remedies from around the world, including Pacific seaweeds, aromatherapy oils and Italian mud baths. Seaweed is also used for body wraps and facials. The five-hour Divine Mermaid Day package combines treatments with a gourmet lunch from nearby restaurants (excluding alcoholic beverages). Wednesday is locals’ day, and all treatments are discounted 10 percent.

115 S. Main St., Sebastopol. 707.823.3535. mermaidsspa.com.

MORPHEUS MEDICAL AESTHETICS Morpheus Medical Aesthetics is a physician-owned and -operated medical aesthetics spa delivering high-quality skin and body-contouring services to Sonoma County and the greater Bay Area. All services are beneficial to both men and women who want to look and feel their best. Please contact for pricing and treatment information, and to schedule a consultation with a physician. Ask us about special offers, private group events and how to be part of Morpheus’ ambassador program.

Suite 100-A, Brookwood Ave., Santa Rosa. 707.921.7447. morpheusmedspa.com.

OSMOSIS The Victorian exterior of Osmosis shelters the only cedar enzyme baths in the country, drawing tourists as well as locals interested in an all-green staycation destination. Services also include a three-week enzyme cleansing treatment designed to detoxify the body over several visits, and includes lifestyle and

131 Liberty St., Ste. D, at Washington Street, Petaluma. 707.782.9898.

A SIMPLE TOUCH This little spa near the plaza offers private, intimate parties complete with appetizers and wine or Champagne, so guests can fully relax and enjoy the full menu of spa treatments. Of note is the rose whey body wrap and facial. In appreciation of those serving our country, military personnel are offered 25 percent off all services, and locals are offered a 10 percent discount.

239-C Center St., Healdsburg. 707.433.6856. asimpletouchspa.com.

SKIN ADDICTION Skin Addiction is CitySearch.com’s 2009 Best Of winner and specializes in facials, holistic massage, makeup and waxing services. Skin Addiction listens to you, so each service is tailored to your specific needs. Whether you spend 30 minutes or a couple of hours here, you will always leave looking and feeling your best! Skin Addiction is located on Santa Rosa Avenue, across the street from Costco, inside Beauty Connection Plus on the second floor. Gift certificates available for all services and products.

1937 Santa Rosa Ave., Santa Rosa. 707.575.1856. skinaddictionspa.com.

SOFT SHELL Petaluma’s oasis for relaxation. A perfect day spa offering facials, massage, waxing and makeup. Shell is a local Petaluma spa dedicated to the beauty and health of our clients and customers. Located for 15 years in downtown historic Petaluma, two blocks from the Petaluma River, Shell is a favorite for locals and visitors alike. An experienced staff and comfortable environment will put you at ease. Whether you are looking for regular care for your skin or body, shopping for a gift or gift certificate, or just looking for a local getaway, Shell is a great choice. Its seven service rooms are cozy and tastefully decorated in natural themes. Try a service with one of over 15 service providers in the esthetic facialists and professional massage therapists, and find how easy it is to relax. Menu favorites are the Soft Shell relaxation massage, gliding heat stone massage, the Ultimate Luxury Massage, reflexology break and deep tissue sports massage.

10 Kentucky St., Petaluma. 707.773.4950. softshellbeautyspa.com.

SONOMA COAST VILLA INN & SPA This secluded Mediterranean-style estate offers guests a full slate of spa services. Day users must have an appointment. All treatments begin with a footbath, heated neck wrap and a cup of tea, and finish with a blanket cocoon. Aromatherapy is also included. Particularly appealing is the Net Release, a treatment designed to de-stress and ease the numbness and tension from repetitive-use syndrome computer users experience. Guests may order lunch or light, healthy spa meals made with ingredients grown in the one-acre, on-site garden. Locals receive a discount after their second visit.

16702 Hwy. 1, Bodega. 707.876.9818. scvilla.com.

THE SPA AT HOTEL HEALDSBURG This attractive, modern spa sits across from the plaza, its neighbors are chic boutiques and high-end restaurants, like the hotel’s renowned Dry Creek Kitchen. A combination deep-tissue, hot stone, shiatsu and reflexology massage package will guarantee a few melted guests enjoying the pool afterwards. A whirlpool bath is also available for use with spa services. Those in the 707 area code receive 15 percent off all treatments Monday–Thursday. Check online for special seasonal packages.

327 Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.4747. hotelhealdsburg.com.

THE SPA AT MONTECITO HEIGHTS The Flamingo Resort’s on-site spa specializes in sports-related massage and treatments. Sauna and Vichy shower treatments with ginger products are also available. Check the website for online monthly specials. Located directly behind the Flamingo.

2777 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.526.0529. montecitoheights.com.

TOUCHSTONE THERAPIES You deserve to be pampered, and TouchStone Therapies is the perfect destination for doing just that! Enjoy a single treatmentor a half day of soothing therapeutic services to calm and rejuvenate your body.Indulge in any of the following treatments: fast, sanitary and less painful $40 Brazilian waxing (this is a specialty!), Vajazzle, full waxing menu, facials, Swedish massage, hot stone massage, body wraps, full-body salt or sugar glows, and spa packages. TouchStone also has high-quality mineral makeup and sunblock available for purchase, as well as professional skincare products to help your skin look and feel its very best. Treat yourself, your friends or family. TouchStone Therapies gift certificates are available!

4525 Montgomery Drive, Santa Rosa. 707.331.0631. touchstonetherapies.com

N A PA C O U N T Y AVANCE DAY SPA Run by an extremely welcoming and accommodating staff, Avance caters as fully to the comfort of men as women. Men’s treatments include sports massage, waxing, airbrush spray-tanning, deep-pore cleansing 6

M e d S pa

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141 Lynch Creek Way Petaluma

707. 778 .2 313 350 Bon Air Road Greenbrae

4 15 . 924.1313 W W W. D R K I M B E R L Y H E N R Y. C O M

MD

Best Chiropractor Quality family chiropractic care for managing chronic and acute pain. • sports injuries • pediatrics • auto accidents

Jake Quihuis, DC 707-523-9850 • 1819 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa www.ChiropracticCenterSantaRosa.com

• pregnancy / post-partum discomforts

Citysearch.com 2009 Best of winner in Santa Rosa for: Best Facial Best Waxing Best Makeup Artist Best Skin Care

receive

20% off any treatment of $45 or more with this ad

Log on to www.skinaddictionspa.com to see a complete listing of services we provide!

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

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Tues–Fri 10-6pm Sat by appt only 1937 Santa Rosa Ave Santa Rosa Located inside Beauty Connection Plus

707.575.1856 707.575.7327

6 2 0 1 0 S PA G U I D E

use of the hot mineral pool, whirlpool bath and sun deck with any spa treatment. Lots of internet specials are available, including room rates at great discounts.

1713 Lake St., Calistoga. 707.942.6793. goldenhaven.com.

HEALTH SPA NAPA VALLEY Enjoy a day of indulgence with one of Health Spa Napa Valley’s unique experiences such as the zerogravity nail bar. Organic spa treatments, a private Pilates studio, a private yoga room and a blissful outdoor lap pool and hot tub are available to patrons, as well as delicious poolside lunches and peaceful relaxation in the new Bamboo Lounge. All patrons receive 15 percent off treatments Monday–Thursday, and monthly specials are offered online.

1030 Main St., St. Helena. 707.967.8800.

INDIAN SPRINGS RESORT & SPA Named for the Native Americans familiar with this site long before European settlers arrived, Indian Springs has been a healing resort since 1862. Ancient volcanic ash from the 16-acre hillside mixed with mineral water from the four geysers is used for the mud baths and other treatments. The thermally fed, Olympicsized pool dates back to 1914. Heated year-round, it is available to day-users Sunday–Thursday after just a half-hour massage. Check for online specials.

1712 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.4913. indianspringscalistoga.com.

LAVENDER HILL SPA

facials and even “facials” for the back. Avance’s team spirit makes a day of pampering a lot of fun.

585 Coombsville Road, Napa. 707.226.6822.

CALISTOGA MASSAGE CENTER & DAY SPA Enjoy the Tropical massage/facial/pedicure package at prices that match today’s economy. Bridal services, including hair, nails and makeup are a spa specialty. Walk-ins are welcome, and Sonoma County residents get 15 percent off treatments Monday– Friday. Mention online specials at the time of booking for further discounts.

1219 Washington St., Calistoga. 707.942.6193. calistogamassage.com

CALISTOGA SPA HOT SPRINGS An unpretentious resort, this spa caters to families with children. There are three heated pools plus a kiddies’ pool for the splashers, as well as outdoor mineral baths. Accommodations include kitchenettes and outdoor barbecues. Bargain pricing for a family getaway.

1006 Washington St., Calistoga. 866.822.5772. calistogaspa.com

DR. WILKINSON’S HOT SPRINGS RESORT Established in 1952 as an alternative medical treatment, Dr. Wilkinson’s is a Calistoga institution and still offers mud and mineral baths and massage.

1507 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.4102. drwilkinson.com.

EUROSPA & INN A soothing and intimate locale, EuroSpa offers something different in Calistoga—no mud baths. They do have mud wraps, however, packaged with massages and facials for a complete rejuvenating experience. EuroSpa maintains a lovely backyard space to unwind and wine and dine al fresco after treatments, and will cater to private parties.

1202 Pine St., Calistoga. 707.942.6829. eurospa. com.

GOLDEN HAVEN HOT SPRINGS & SPA This newly remodeled Calistoga institution is one of the few that offers couples mud baths. This spa also guarantees that guests will lose a minimum of six inches off their total body measurement after just one of their European body wraps. Day users have the

Tucked into a hillside garden decorated with exotic Asian statuary and art, Lavender Hill sets the mood for couples in warm and inviting, softly colored doubletub or massage rooms. Intimacy is guaranteed, since the spa only serves a maximum of eight clients at a time. Unique Asian infusions are used as remedies for sore bodies, including tropical summer treatments using coconut milk, mango and citrus. Check online for discounts and seasonal specials.

1015 Foothill Blvd., Calistoga. 707.942.4495. lavenderhillspa.com.

LINCOLN AVENUE SPA A more upscale sister to Golden Haven, Lincoln Avenue offers a broader slate of treatments. Clients can opt for Moor mud imported from Hungary or native Calistogan mud, personalized with 12 Ayurvedic herbs, kelp, wine products or even chocolate. If thick mud isn’t your thing, try the liquid mud whirlpool bath. End the day with a relaxing afternoon tea at the spa’s English garden tearoom. Great website specials rotate monthly, but online coupon must be presented at time of payment.

1339 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.5296 lincolnavenuespa.com.

MOUNT VIEW HOTEL & SPA Easy to spot on Calistoga’s main drag, the Mount View Spa is tucked in an appealing, Mission-revivalstyle hotel. For an intimate party away from home, check out the Relaxation Group package. Six to 10 guests receive treatments—and the sixth guest is free. The group also receives a bottle of wine for every two guests, along with a cheese bistro basket

and souvenir wine glasses to remember the day. Daily spa specials can be found listed on the board outside the hotel, and Sonoma County residents receive 15 percent off all treatments every day of the week. Check the online Spa Director’s Special which changes monthly.

1457 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.5789. mountviewhotel.com.

ROMAN HOT SPRINGS RESORT Under new management, the Roman offers the three m’s: mud, mineral water and massage. A small boutique spa catering to couples, Roman’s clients are able to fully relax knowing that there won’t be a parade of strangers tending their naked bodies. Check the website for monthly manager’s specials.

1300 Washington St., Calistoga. 707.942.2122. romanspahotsprings.com.

SOLAGE CALISTOGA This contemporary spa encompasses 20,000 square feet, and offers a full array of relaxing and invigorating services within its artfully designed and environmentally conscious facility. Solage’s signature Mudslide—a new twist to the traditional mud bath—starts with guests sliding up to the mud bar to schmooze and choose the essential oil that will be mix with the mud. After the mud is applied in the treatment room with the aid of an attendant, clients then lay on a heated lounge to “bake” and relax. Lastly, a shower and a soak in the geothermal water ensure a clean, restful finish. Clients may soak in the co-ed geo-thermal pool, or in the privacy of the separate men’s or women’s clothing optional pools. Day guests pay a $25 use fee. Check the website for seasonal specials.

755 Silverado Trail, Calistoga. 707.226.0820. solagecalistoga.com.

SPA GAIA Spa Gaia is a World class day spa which is part of California’s first fully environmentally sustainable “green” hotel, Gaia Napa Valley Hotel and Spa. Decorated with a tropical Balinese atmosphere, Spa Gaia offers traditional and contemporary healing and relaxing spa therapies which will provide guests the beauty of rejuvenation and a thoroughly enjoyable spa experience. Pampering treatments include ingredients indigenous to the fertile Napa Valley.

3600 Broadway, American Canyon. 707.674.0168. spagaia.com.

THE SPA AT THE NAPA VALLEY MARRIOTT Revel in a day of mother-daughter or father-son bonding. This spa has packages designed to bring out the best in everyone, and locals get 20 percent off treatment prices Monday–Thursday. Romance packages are also offered for couples enjoying life without kids. In the candlelit wet room, lovebirds can partake in Vichy showers, body scrubs, massage and other sensuous treatments at the same time. A fantastic 25 per cent discount is offered on specials each day of the week: Monday, facials; Tuesday, body scrubs; Wednesday, nail services; Thursday, any single 80-minute service; and Friday, hair treatments. Check online for seasonal specials.

3425 Solano Ave., Napa. 707.254.3330. napavalleymarriott.com.

VILLAGIO INN & SPA Welcoming to locals, the Villagio makes visitors feel like they are guests at a wealthy friend’s Tuscan estate. The spa boasts 13,000 square feet and 16 treatment rooms, yet insists on personalized service for every patron. Locals there for a day’s pampering may be upgraded, with their treatment being given in one of the lavish suites for a taste of the good life. Try the Montecelli, creamy Italian mud mixed with cypress, pear, lemon and fennel. Co-ed sauna and steam rooms and an outdoor pool are also available for a day’s enjoyment. A 15 percent locals’ discount is available Sunday–Thursday.

6481 Washington St., Yountville. 707.944.8877. villagio.com.

MARIN COUNTY ASANTE DAY SPA Currently celebrating 13 years of holistic health services, the spa continues to offer something for everyone in the family. They also suggest promoting a healthy lifestyle for yourself by sending a “not so subtle gift hint” via email to those who love you; this links to the spa’s online gift certificate purchase. Other online specials change monthly.

605 B St., San Rafael. 415.460.6506. asantespa.com.

EDEN DAY SPA The lovely pastel interior visually starts off the relaxation process. A quaint spa in the heart of even quainter San Anselmo, Eden offers a quaint service called threading, an ancient Middle Eastern form of hair removal, much less painful than waxing. Eden also provides a European treatment which replaces Hyaluronic moisture cells, rejuvenating and strengthening mature skin and stimulating collagen and elastin production. Walk-ins are welcome, but the spa only holds four clients, so reservations are recommended. Check for monthly online specials.

541 San Anselmo Ave., San Anselmo. 415.464.9111. edendayspa.com.

KIMBERLY HENRY, M.D. MED SPA Voted Marin County’s “Best Plastic Surgeon” for the past five years, Dr. Kimberly Henry offers highly professional therapeutic skincare and beautytreatments in addition to plastic and cosmetic surgery. Sensitive to women’s needs, Dr. Henry combines an artistic touch with a surgeon’s perfectionism to obtain the most natural looking results possible. Purchase any facial and receive a free light chemical peel.

350 Bon Air Road, Ste. 1 Greenbrae 415.924.1313 and 141 Lynch Creek Way, Ste. B, Petaluma 707.778.2313. drkimberlyhenry.com

EVO SPA If you can’t find the treatment you are looking for here, you probably won’t find it anywhere. From Hungarian paprika facials and noninvasive facelifts to zero gravity, dry hydrotherapy from Italy—complete with chromatherapy lights and experienced fully clothed—Evo’s got it. Evo is heavily into rituals and states that “transformation is their passion.” For a new way to wear precious gems, try kaya kalpa, an ancient ritual traditionally reserved for royalty. A pasty,

herbal mixture of gold, silver, mineral ashes of crystals and seven gemstones, and warm cream is painted over your entire body. Warm oil is then poured over your forehead and hair to calm the nervous system. The ritual ends with a Tibetan bowl foot massage for balance. Sign up on the email list to receive monthly online coupons and specials.

800 Redwood Hwy. Ste. 216, Mill Valley. 415.383.3223. evo-spa.com.

SHIBUI GARDENS Embracing the values of Marin’s founding hippies—hottubbing under the stars—this unpretentious, open-air institution limits its menu of services to hot tubs, saunas and massage. It’s strictly no frills—BYO towels, robes and waterfor drinking. Tubs are two-for-one Monday– Thursday from 2pm to 6pm, and massages are 10 percent off 2pm to 4pm. Shibui also offers free open-air hot-water soaks or sauna before a massage.

19 Tamalpais Ave., San Anselmo. 415.457.0283. shibuigardens.com.

SPA DE NOVATO This establishment will even pick up, drop off and take out to lunch those clients who anticipate being too blissed-out to ambulate, cook or drive. Featuring a full slate of massage and bathes, Spa de Novato also gives haircuts and has a full mani-pedi service.

1305 Grant Ave., Novato. 415.897.4511. spadenovato.com.

STELLAR SPA Located for the past decade in Corte Madera’s Old Historic Square, Stellar Spa offers unique and creative treatments. New to its menu is ultrasonic microdermabrasion. Clients may have massages in the seawater inhalation room, breathing in the calming effects of negative ions via a fine water mist. Studies show this helps relieve headaches, allergies and jet lag. Purchase a six-treatment series plan and receive a 10 percent discount and a complimentary facial or bodycare accessory kit. Join the spa’s free online club and receive special monthly discounts, free spa e-vouchers and exclusive invitations to special spa events. Monthly specials can also be found online for non–club members.

26 Tamalpais Drive, Corte Madera. 415.924.7300. stellarspa.com.

TEA GARDEN SPRINGS Calling itself “a Zen spa of vision, health and vitality,” Tea Garden makes use of Chinese and Indian philosophies. Visitors are welcomed into the feng shui–designed tea garden to unwind with a cup of tea before treatments. Going beyond the usual, Tea Garden offers advanced body therapies that address the effects of emotions and thought patterns on a person’s health. Profiles of all therapists and master practitioners can be found on the spa website. The spa believes in the art of service, and strongly supports the community with monetary donations to schools and other organizations. The Quon Yin card is available for purchase with a first treatment, and can be used to acquire “loyalty points” adding up to a 10 percent discount on services. The lucky winner of a monthly raffle scores a free treatment. A 25 percent discount on 1 ½ hour services is offered through the month of August.

38 Miller Ave., Mill Valley. 415. 389.7123. teagardensprings.com.

Other Spas 8

Massage $55 hr • Deep Tissue/Swedish • Sports • Shiatzu • Back Walking • Foot Reflexology • Couples’ Massage • Chair $10/10 min massage

Happy Health Spa open 10-10, 7 days 525 Ross St, Santa Rosa

707-591-8899

DAVID E. MARCUS, MD

8 2 0 1 0 S PA G U I D E

1128 Sonoma Ave., Santa Rosa. 707.575.1626. drdavidmarcus.com

MASSAGE ENVY 5761 Mountain Hawk Way, Ste. 103, Santa Rosa 707.537.0555. 640 E. Cotati Ave. Cotati 707.795.7700. 247 N. McDowell Blvd. Petaluma 707.763.6274. 3365 Solano Ave., Napa. 707.255.8000. 219 3rd St., San Rafael. 415.459.3689. massageenvy.com

MT TAM LASER & SKIN CARE

ALLEGRO MED SPA

4525 Montgomery Drive, Ste. 25, Santa Rosa. 707.539.4896.

849 2nd St. Santa Rosa. 707.544.9642.

SPATINI

575 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., Ste.2, Greenbrae. 415.925.1700. aycockmd.com

204 G St., Ste. 104, Petaluma. 707.762.5994. truetoneskincare.com.

N A PA C O U N T Y AUBERGE DU SOLEIL 180 Rutherford Hill Road, Rutherford. 707.963.1211. aubergedusoleil.com

BARDESSONO SPA 6526 Yount St.,Yountville. 707.204.6050. bardessono.com

EMERALD DAY SPA 1523 Main St., Napa. 707.226.2700. emeralddayspa.com

1300 Pearl St., Napa. 707.257.8837. greenhausspa.com

HARBIN HOT SPRINGS

BODEGA BAY LODGE & SPA

EVOLUTION MASSAGE STUDIO

18424 Harbin Springs Road, Middletown. 707.987.2477. harbin.org

103 Coast Highway One, Bodega Bay. 707.875.3525. bodegabaylodge.com

973 Golf Course Drive, Rohnert Park. 707.585.6104. evolutionmassage.biz

MILLIKEN CREEK INN & SPA

BODY THERAPY

GOOD FEET

845 Fourth St., Ste. A, Santa Rosa 707.569.9039.

1049 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.525.1887. santarosabodytherapy.com

2669 Santa Rosa Ave., Santa Rosa. 707.526.5600. goodfeet.com.

AVANTI DAY SPA

BOON HOTEL & SPA

LET’S FACE IT

52 Mission Circle, Ste. 201, Santa Rosa. 707.538.0510. avantispa.net

14711 Armstrong Woods Road, Guerneville. 707.869.2721. boonhotels.com

537 College Ave., Santa Rosa. 707.575.3223.

4625 Quigg Drive, Santa Rosa. 707.537.2111. enhanceyourimage.com

AMBIANCE SKIN CARE STUDIO

857 Grant Ave., Novato. 415.899.8445. alwayspampered.com

ROBERT G. AYCOCK, MD, FACS AESTHETIC SURGERY, LASER AND SKIN CARE CENTER

GREENHAUS

8967 Graton Road, Graton. 707.823.2866. acupunturegoddess.com

ALWAYS PAMPERED

1004 Irwin St., Ste. A, San Rafael. 415.233.2244. awakenyourbody.net

TRUE TONE SKIN CARE & BODYWORK

SONOMA COUNTY

MARIN COUNTY

THE POWDER ROOM

6 Petaluma Blvd. N., Ste. A1, Petaluma. 707.762.3055. spatinipetaluma.com

DULCE BELLA DAY SPA

875 Bordeaux Way, Napa. 707.251.3000. spaterra.com

AWAKEN YOUR BODY

MARGERY SMITH, CMT

ASYRAH’S GARDEN ACUPUNCTURE SPA

SPA TERRA AT THE MERITAGE RESORT NAPA

755 Baywood Drive, Ste. 190, Petaluma. 707.778.3888. mttamlaser.com

2560 Mendocino Ave. Santa Rosa 707.537.7968. itsadate.biz

s a p S r e h Ot

Canyon. 707.554.0500. serenitydayspasalon.com

1815 Silverado Trail, Napa .707.255.1197. millikencreekinn.com/spa

NAPA VALLEY DAY SPA 1635 First St., Napa. 707.258.9900. napavalleydayspa.com

SERENITY DAY SPA 3423 Broadway St., Ste. D4, American

THE SPA AT CASA MADRONA 801 Bridgeway Ave., Sausalito. 415.354.8308. casamadrona.com

CAVALLO POINT HEALING ARTS & DAY SPA 601 Murray Circle, Fort Baker, Sausalito. 415.339.4767. cavallopoint.com

CHAMPAGNE SALON & DAY SPA 1 Blackfield Drive, Tiburon. 415.380.9111. champagnesalonanddayspa.com

ESSENCE DAY SPA 1221 Fourth St., San Rafael.415.258.9541. theessencedayspa.com

MT. TAM LASER & SKIN CARE 1030 Sir Francis Drake Blvd. Ste. 130, Kentfield. 415.482.3888. mttamlaser.com

PARIS SALON & SPA 915 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.459.3600. parissalonspa.com

RENAISSANCE HOUSE OF BEAUTY 2154 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.453.0225. renaissancesalon.com

SANCTUARY SPA AT BAY CLUB MARIN 220 Corte Madera Town Center, Corte Madera. 415.945.3030. bayclubmarin. com

SPA SOLEIL 2829 Bridgeway Ave., Ste. 1, Sausalito. 415.332.5551. spasoleilmarin.com

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B2>A4 Vince Guaraldi’s life was marked by serendipity.

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>[S 9Pii 7P]Sb ‘Peanuts’ composer Vince Guaraldi remembered in new documentary By Caroline Osborn

0

ndrew Thomas and Toby Gleason are two men can’t be pinned down. “Don’t consider us filmmakers,� Thomas advises. “Consider us cultural anthropologists.� Thomas, an Emmy award– winning documentary maker, collaborated with Gleason, a KRCB jazz DJ, voice actor and son of Rolling Stone cofounder Ralph J. Gleason, to create a filmic tribute to Bay Area jazz luminary Vince Guaraldi. Haven’t heard of him? Think again. The jazz world lauds Guaraldi for his performances with Woody Herman’s band and Bola Sete, as a member of the resident trio at the hungry i nightclub and a regular performer at Sausalito’s Trident Lounge, but everyone else knows him as the “Peanuts� composer. “I think that to the generation of ‘Peanuts’ fans, he’s almost the world’s best-known jazz musician whose name you don’t know,� Gleason says. Gleason and Thomas present their documentary about the artist, The Anatomy of

Vince Guaraldi, to North Bay audiences at the Sausalito Film Festival Aug. 14. Guaraldi’s propensity for pop/jazz crossover sealed his legacy as one of the only jazz musicians ever to break into pop radio’s Top 40. He bridged the gap in 1963 with his hit single “Cast Your Fate to the Wind.� But Gleason knows him first and foremost as a family friend. “[Vince] and my father were very close during the late ’50s up to about the mid- to late ’60s,� Gleason remembers. “In my formative years, he was around a lot. I liked him. He was fun. He gave me yo-yo lessons. He took me for a ride in his black Porsche that he got from his first royalty check from ‘Cast Your Fate to the Wind.’ I always felt a special fondness for Vince.� Gleason’s affection for the friendly man with the thick black mustache and thick black glasses went beyond his general affability. “One of the reasons I liked him more than I liked a lot of other jazz musicians is that he was very good with kids, and he was small for an adult, so he was a lot closer to our physical size,� he laughs. Gleason estimates Guaraldi’s height at around 5-foot-4, give or take a few inches.

Perhaps his short stature and easy rapport with youngsters contributed to his talent with cartoon scores. “Vince had an innocence and childlikeness within him and an ability to compose jazz music that was as much for children as it was for adults,� Gleason says. “Not a lot of artists can have that light, that innocent, that joyous of a touch.� Video footage of Guaraldi was hard to come by. Fortunately, Ralph J. Gleason’s friendship with Guaraldi elicited hours of exclusive performances and interviews of a man known for not leaving much of a visual record of his life. “My father filmed him more than probably anybody else in the world,� Gleason says. Some of this footage comes from Ralph’s Jazz Casual, a television series in which he gave oft-shortchanged jazz musicians extended airtime. Guaraldi appeared as a guest on the show twice. Still more filmic record of Guaraldi comes from a 1963 documentary Gleason made with his friend entitled Anatomy of a Hit in reference to Guaraldi’s breakout success, “Cast Your Fate to the Wind.� Since Gleason and '* THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

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Thomas estimate that they drew about half of their new movie from this past doc, they titled their work The Anatomy of Vince Guaraldi as a nod to Ralph’s work. Although Jazz Casual is currently out of print, Gleason released it through Rhino Records in the 1990s. That’s where he met Thomas, then a Rhino employee, who helped him package the video release. Gleason originally conceived of the project as a rerelease of 1963’s Anatomy of a Hit. Thomas suggested going even further. The new film could extend Guaraldi’s story beyond 1963 and thus delve into the part of his career that had not yet occurred at the time of Ralph’s film, heightening its relevance to the modern audience. But even with the world’s largest trove of Guaraldi footage at their fingertips, Gleason and Thomas did not have nearly enough materially or philosophically to carry the film on the old video alone. They sought out other jazz musicians that Guaraldi had known, as well as other prominent members of the North Beach scene. “If you’re going to say ‘What’s it like to be a jazz musician in North Beach in the ’60s?’ you have to rely on what is the ethos of the people who were living and performing there,� Thomas explains. “When you start a project like this and you’re really talking about the existential essence of somebody, you really need to come at it from a more ethereal place. Who Vince really was has to be examined in a more existential vein.� Most of the people interviewed were Gleason’s longtime friends; he describes the filming process as “old home week.� Thomas used a stabilizing device called a fig rig for his camera when taping interviews. The fig rig looks like a steering wheel with a horizontal bar cutting across the bottom quarter on which the filmmaker rests his small camera. This casual setup allowed Thomas to converse with his subjects comfortably. “Each conversation would be three or four hours,� Thomas says. “We’d talk about all sorts of things, not just Vince. After a while, they’d forget that there’s a camera, because it’s just me sitting in a room with this thing on my lap. We got recollections that nobody else would ever get. Dave Brubeck doesn’t perform ‘Take Five’ on our film; he sings it. That’s different. There’s no other place where you’ll find Dick Gregory whispering, ‘I finally had to get away from Lenny Bruce because the trial fucked up his head so badly.’� Gleason and Thomas’ immense enthusiasm was unfortunately not matched by an ample budget. “We started [filming] on the day Obama was elected president,� Thomas says, marking his past with a reference to progressive politics, a subject that he consistently and easily slips into conversation. “I had to take off for a month and a half in March because we had no money,� he continues. “We did this

all with pocket change and what we could find in the cushions of the couch. There was no funding for this at all.� Thomas, who has worked extensively with Disney, A&E, Discovery and Fox, avoided seeking corporate sponsorship on purpose. “I discovered that when corporate media is paying the tab, they have, legitimately, the right to tailor the content of the piece to their own sensibilities,� he says. “There was no way corporate America was going to allow us to talk to jazz musicians about the necessity of smoking pot or to have an aging gay priest talk about Hiroshima.� Thomas laughs. “There are some rather pointed and angry statements in the film.� Artistic freedom came at a price. “I’d [take the money I had] and I’d f ly to New York, rent a car, sleep in the car, drive from place to place, sleep in the airports,� Thomas confesses. “Eventually, I actually lost my house. I was living up in Sonoma. At a certain point, you say, ‘Roll the dice.’� Yet Thomas’ unwavering devotion to the importance of pure art has never been clearer. “If you’re going to have credibility as an artist, and if you’re going to have the kind of independence that you think the subject deserves, you have to be willing to make some sacrifices,� he says. “To be honest, the way the world is now, if the sacrifice is economic, that’s a small price to pay.� As economically tough as the project was, Gleason and Thomas’ art karma has rewarded them in full. “Everything we did was serendipity,� Thomas says. “Why would the people who were in the film be available at the only time we could do it? We were dirt poor, but the one time I happened to be driving through northern Pennsylvania, Dave Brubeck was there. The one time that Toby and I happened to be doing a thing in Oakland, Jerry Granelli came to visit his daughter in San Francisco for the first time in 30 years.� Thomas notices a conf luence of happy accidents surrounding both his and Gleason’s experiences with Guaraldi. “The film is actually about serendipity,� Thomas says. “Nothing happened in [Guaraldi’s] life that wasn’t the product of serendipity. He happened to be in the right place at the right time for every goddamned thing that happened to him. I think that that’s reason for celebration. It says that the cosmos works.� Thomas hopes that Guaraldi’s knack for lucky happenstance will inspire audiences. “To me, without being either maudlin or a Pollyanna, our theme of serendipity is probably the most hopeful idea that we can give the public today. It says that things can work out thanks to just the general clockwork of the universe. If you just hold on, it will come together. That’s what it’s about.� The Sausalito Film Festival runs Aug. 13–Aug. 15. ‘The Anatomy of Vince Guaraldi’ makes its Bay Area debut on Saturday, Aug. 14. The Rev. Malcolm Boyd performs after the film. Cavallo Point, 601 Murray Circle, Fort Baker, Sausalito. 7pm. $25. 415.887.9506.

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08.11.10-08.17.10

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369: general proud, emerges from his decades of solitude. He drives his mule cart into a nearby small town and makes plans for his funeral, the point being that he intends to have the funeral while he’s still alive. He finds no trouble with this idea from the local funeralhome director (Bill Murray), who expands on the event to bring music and a raffle; part of the draw will be Bush telling the secret that made him hide his face in the woods for so many years. Murray, wearing a suspicious-looking mustache, fur-collared suits and a horseshoe pin, is the film’s saving grace. He has the true comedian’s solitude, and his driest lines resound like terrific jokes—the wince at boredom and a consoling flask in the pocket. One loves him and turns a blind eye to his anachronistic-as-hell dialogue as he mentors a younger salesman, Lucas Black. If it was always Gene Hackman’s aim to “play common men uncommonly,� Black gives an example of a man playing a common man commonly.

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‘Get Low’ and ‘Farewell’ frame art-house fare from both sides By Richard von Busack

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t some level, praising a movie for the quality of the acting alone is like praising it for its photography—it’s a way of saying it’s less than a sum of its parts—and the history of the Robert Duvall star vehicle (whether it’s called The Apostle or Assassination Tang) demonstrates why great character actors are rarely sufficient as lead actors. That same way of holding the screen in two or three small moments, the dynamics of what a character actor does, how he gets in and holds up a scene—all of that can be monotonous in a full-length film. Get Low’s hushed direction by Aaron Schneider, which tells you This is important, this is like Faulkner, casts a spell, but it’s some kind of numbing, tranquilizing spell; the film can’t unstir itself from the level of an anecdote. In the 1930s South, a hermit named Bush, with a beard that would do a Civil War

n intelligent, atmospheric Cold War thriller in the best tradition of LeCarre and Charles McCarry, and directed by Christian Carion, Farewell is based on a reallife case. Moscow, 1981: Pierre (Guillaume Canet), a French technocrat, is mistakenly approached by the gregarious Gregoriev (eminent Serbian director Emir Kusturica). This Soviet officer, sick of the hidebound government of the U.S.S.R., aims to help push it over from the inside by passing on important information to the West. The Russian believes the Frenchman must be a spy of some sort, and is surprised to find out that Pierre has almost no connections with the secret service. Pierre’s government asks the amateur spy to carry on, and a friendship develops. Gregoriev takes his reward in Champagne and French books, and in confessional time: a spy who lies to everyone has to have someone to confide in, occasionally. Farewell’s art direction is immaculate; Carion aims to take us on a trip to the vanished U.S.S.R., dwelling over the frightening Martian/Gothic towers and neon-green corridors. And in the rural scenes, the director proves why you could love that country while fearing its government. (The worst winters sometimes mean the best summers.) The detours to the halls of Western power are a little more problematic. It’s a treat to see Fred Ward again. Ward’s imitative powers are so strong that his Ronald Reagan both looks right to the last twitch and is easily recognizable from across the room; however, Farewell’s interpretation of that lucky but foolish man is fairly limited. (Perhaps it’s payback for every time we’ve Clouseauified French politicians.) Philippe Magnan’s dour Mitterand is far more knowing. A dash of Willem Dafoe, as a CIA intelligencer, ices the film nicely, and anyone who loves actors will relish the way Dafoe pronounces the phrase “serious problems.� ‘Farewell’ and ‘Get Low’ both open on Friday, Aug. 13, at the Rialto Cinemas Lakeside, 551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. 707.525.4840.

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Hurry into Sole Desire in the Coddingtown Mall

AAug. ug. ug 112th - Aug. Aug. ug 15thh Alll of Your Favorite Br All Brands..... rands.......

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Sole Desire Desiire Coddingtown Mall Coddingtown Santa San nta Rosa, CA A 95401 571-8 8643 (707) 571-8643

N O R T H B AY M O V I E T I M E S www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com

THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

27

C. Donatiello Winery

Summer Music Series Live from the Middle Reach

July

September

7-18 Pat Jordan Band 7-25 Samantha Lane

August

8-1 The Speedbumps 8-8 Chris O’Brien 8-15 Fred odell 8-22 sol Horizon 8-29 Damato

9-5 Hotel Cafe tour Buddy & Friends* 9-12 Troubaduo 9-19 Brian Bergeron 9-26 Lelia Broussard & Chris Pierce

October

All Shows Sundays 1-4pm *9-5 will take place from 3-6pm

C. Donatiello Winery 4035 Westside Road Healdsburg, CA 707.431.4442

www.cdonatiello.com

RIO NIDO ROADHOUSE

Come Home to Sonoma County

BAND EVENTS

Fri August 13 • $12 RUSTY EVANS ďšŽâ€œJOHNNY CASHâ€? Sat August 14

THE DIRTY JUG BAND Sat August 20 • $6

PULSATORS Sat August 21 Sat August 28

GARAGELAND RODEO Sun August 29 • $6

David Peoples

Fri September 3

Residential Real Estate

DGIIN

STOMPY JONES All Music 6–10pm • All Shows $5 unless noted

Swimming Pool Open to Public

707-486-5037 PeoplesHomes.net

Lunch • Dinner • Brunch on Weekends

Full Bar • Live Bands 707.869.0821 | 14540 Canyon 2, Rio Nido

www.rionidoroadhouse.com

08.11.10-08.17.10

The Mill Valley Library screens ‘Ballet Russes’ on Aug. 16. See Film listing, p37.

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ANNUAL BBQ HOEDOWN

28

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10-3 Audra Connolly 10-10 John Gold

THE BOHEMIAN

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Film capsules by Richard von Busack, Caroline Osborn and Anna Schuessler.

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THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

29

30

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THE BOHEMIAN

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Litany for the Whale play the Slack Ranch in Napa Aug. 12. See Concerts, above. THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

31

@D44= >5 C4G0B Carolyn Wonderland wrangles the gut-level blues Aug. 13 at Rancho Nicasio. See Clubs, p34.

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A NON-PROFIT EVENT BENEFITTING LOCAL YOUTH GROUPS

$# $$

&

Play an Accordion ... Go to Cotati! That’s the Law. 9:30 AM TO 8:00 PM - BOTH DAYS

Flaco Jimenez ¡ Dick Contino

¡ Polkacide ¡ Los Texmaniacs ¡ Culann’s Hounds ¡ The Alex Meixner Band

¡ Tara Linda ¡ Eddie Montiero ¡ The Creaking Planks ¡ The Great Morgani ¡ Sourdough Slim ¡ Gaucho ¡ La Familia Peùa-Govea ¡ The Truccos ¡ Due Zighi Baci ¡ Duckmandu ¡ Shamalamacord ¡ II Fuoco with Steve Albini ¡ The Golden State Accordion Club Band ¡ The Mad Maggies ¡ The Creole Belles ¡ JD Limelight ¡ The International House of Accordions ¡ Accordion Babes & The Hub Bub Marching Band ¡ Lemme Adams ¡ The Wild Catahoulas ¡ The Steve Balich Sr. Polka Band ¡ Mark St. Mary

AND SO MUCH MORE!

KIDS 15 AND UNDER

FREE

POLKACIDE FLACO JIMENEZ & DICK CONTINO

Y NCE PART B A D O C E D CAJUN/ZY at FRIAR TUCK’S PU m 1 TO 5:00p 5-6:30 IN PARK 5:0

$15 ONE-DAY ADVANCE, $17 GATE OR $25 TWO-DAYS PURCHASE YOUR TICKETS IN ADVANCE ONLINE OR AT: 888-559-2576 Ä?Ć‹ ((Ć‹ $.!!Ć‹ (%2!.Äš/Ć‹ .'!0Ć‹ + 0%+*/Ć‹ Ä?Ć‹ $!Ć‹ /0Ć‹ ! +. Ć‹ 0+.!Ć‹%*Ć‹ *0 Ć‹ +/ Ć‹Ä?Ć‹ !+,(!Äš/Ć‹ 1/% Ć‹%*Ć‹ ! /0+,+(

664-0444 www.cotatifest.com

(707)

6 6

Buy tickets at livenation.com. To charge by phone (800) 745-3000. Limit 8 tickets per person. All dates, acts and ticket prices are subject to change without notice. All tickets are subject to applicable service charges.

NORTHBAY TIMES THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

33

the last day saloon nightclub & restaurant OPEN AT 4 PM tHURS. - sATURDAY AND ANY DAY A SHOW IS SCHEDULED

AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE PARTIES, BANQUETS, FUNDRAISERS AND OUTSIDE PROMOTORS 707.545.5876

QUIZMANIAX! PUB QUIZ 8/13 8:30 PM SHOW > $25/30 > ROCK BATTLE OF THE AXES TOUR

MICHAEl SCHENKER GROUP W/CARMINE APPICE on drums

+lYNCH MOB +ANVIL CHORUS + SISTER SIN 8/14 9:30 PM SHOW > $10/12 > HIP HOP

RAPPIN 4-TAY

+ SKEE-LO + AT ALL COSTS 8:30 PM SHOW > $10 > PUNK ROCK

8/17

8/20

9:00 PM SHOW > $? > TOP 40 DANCE

ODYSSEY ENT. GROUP PRESENTS

DJ DANCE PARTY 8:30 PM SHOW > $12/15 > ROCK

FRAMING HANLEY + IT'S ALIVE + TRANSMIT NOW 8/28 9:00 PM SHOW > $15 > 80'S DANCE HITS

TAINTED LOVE HAPPY HOUR! THUR S DAY-SATURDAY

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$1.50 PBR $2 DOMESTIC BEER $3 IMPORT/MICROBREW $3 WELL DRINKS & HOUSE WINE $3 APPETIZER MENU all shows are 21+ unless noted for reservations: 707.545.5876

707.545.2343 120 5th street @ davis street santa rosa, ca

lastdaysaloon.com THE BOHEMIAN

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9:30 PM SHOW > $10/12 > ROCK

w/WRONG + ASTROSLIDE

08.11.10-08.17.10

I]Z GdX`h

+ THE FABULOUS MISS WENDY

+ Giamaica Day "The Incredible Bendable Girl"

34

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AMAZING SHOW SPECTACULAR

8/25

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GREEN JELLY CARNY BRAT 'S

8/21

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8/12

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5028=6 C74 <DB82 Zone Music’s Frank Hayhurst is closing and downscaling his Cotati landmark.

0 7PaS APX]

The Sonoma County music biz takes a beating By Gabe Meline

F

hile we’ve spent the last two years dressing up in 1930s-era garb and singing dustbowl ballads to remind us that, hey, even though the economy’s horrible and no one can find a job, times are still, like, not as bad as they were during the Great Depression—well, while we’ve been doing all that, banjo on our collective knee, the times they’ve been changin’ indeed—namely, plummeting us into the Great Depression, Part II. Case in point: Zone Music, the place where we bought that banjo, is closing its doors. The venerable Cotati music store that’s served local musicians since 1983 is downsizing its floor space to reopen sometime in the future, possibly with a different name but most likely in the same general spot, says owner Frank Hayhurst. “Basically,� Hayhurst says, “the old model of a full-line music store doesn’t work in this current economy.� Most fingers point to internet sales, and even though Zone offered competitive price-matching with online merchants, as Hayhurst notes, “It’s 10 percent more expensive to shop with a local retailer than making the same purchase online.� The new store will focus on inventory that still makes money in an online age—guitars, accessories, used gear, consignments—in a remodeled, “much smaller� shop.

Local jazz fans are still reeling at the news that a board of directors has suspended the 2011 event and fired Jessica Felix from the Healdsburg Jazz Festival. Felix founded the festival and has booked it for the last 12 years; she’s been a tireless advocate for true jazz in an area known for phony “jazz� festivals and smooth-jazz radio stations. The surprising development was announced in an official press release sent out by the board, mentioning a “revised music festival� in the future due to a “limited audience for pure jazz.� Perhaps this alleged “limited audience� wasn’t part of the large crowds who turned out over the past decade for such legends as Joshua Redman, Billy Higgins, Andrew Hill, Charlie Haden, Bobby Hutcherson, Jim Hall, Esperanza Spalding, Dave Holland, Charles Lloyd, Ravi Coltrane, McCoy Tyner, Pharoah Sanders, Jackie McLean, Bill Frisell, Joe Lovano, Kenny Garrett, Frank Morgan and Dave Brubeck—all booked by Felix. Felix says she was “totally surprised� at the decision, but couldn’t comment until she speaks with a lawyer. Board president Pat Templin calls Felix an “amazing person,� but says the festival has been losing money and confirms there are “no plans� to reinstate Felix as artistic director after the festival returns from hiatus. Templin also says “there might be other genres that support the kind of jazz we do,� and that they’re looking into booking blues acts. Over 45 comments protesting these decisions piled up on the Healdsburg Jazz Festival site; they came from musicians, fans and sponsors all pledging their suppport for Felix and condemning the “massacre� of the festival. But earlier this week, the board removed those comments. (Haven’t they heard of Google cache? They’re reposted on my blog at bohemian.com/citysound.) Healdsburg took yet another beating last week when live music was shut down at Ravenous Cafe & Lounge. For the last six years, promoter KC Mosso has booked bands into the small spot just off the plaza with no problems (last month, Ravenous hosted an outdoor benefit for a local woman with cancer and raised $1,500), but a recent anonymous complaint to the city has temporarily put an end to shows. Mosso, who’s lost thousands of dollars bringing bands to Healdsburg over the years, promises to try to work things out, but in a town increasingly known for Michelin-rated restaurants and a quiet atmosphere, it may be an uphill battle. “It’s tough, first with this, and then the jazz festival falling apart,� Mosso says. “We really don’t want Healdsburg to be like Carmel.� Finally, the “queer-friendly, freak-friendly� Black Cat Bar in Penngrove, long a bastion of live music, has been sold to the owners of Cotati’s 8-Ball, says owner Robin Pfeffer. The name will change—most likely to Mac’s—and Pfeffer will host her open mics elsewhere. At least with the Black Cat, the economy can’t be blamed; Pfeffer says she simply wants to spend more time with her twoyear-old son, who’s learning how to play the drums. And as for the hundreds of bras stapled to the Black Cat’s ceiling? “The new owners have said they don’t want the bras,� Pfeffer sighs. A final blowout party, with one free bra for each customer, promises to “blow the lid off the joint� on Saturday, Aug. 28, from 4pm to 2am. THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

35

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DON’T FORGET‌WE SERVE FOOD TOO!

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Mc Near’s Dining House Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner BBQ • Pasta • Steak

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Galleries

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707-765-2121 www.mcnears.com 36

08.11.10-08.17.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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Take a scenic drive for a unique dining experience Sat & Sun

Reservations advised Outdoor Dining 7 Days

Brunch

EST. 1941

DI N NE R Fri

A ND A

S H OW

The Amazing

Aug 13

CAROLYN WONDERLAND

Original Texas Blues

STEVE LUCKY AND THE RHUMBA BUMS FEATURING M ISS CARMEN GETIT Rancho THE LINDA IMPERIAL BAND Debut! Powerful Vocalist, Original Music

Sat

Aug 14 Fri

Aug 20

JOHNNY VEGAS AND THE HIGH ROLLERS Aug 21 High Energy Rock and Soul Revue Sat

BB QS

ON THE

L AW N 2 0 1 0

Gates Open at 3pm, Music at 4pm

THE TOMMY CASTRO BAND

Sun

Aug 15

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

THE STONE RIVER BOYS

THE DAVID GRISMAN BLUEGRASS EXPERIENCE Sun Aug 29 ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL Sun

Aug 22

Âź0A4=0 #%½ Robert McChesney’s work is featured at Calabi. See Openings, previous page.

L A B O R DAY WE E K E N D

ROY ROGERS Sept 5 & THE DELTA RHYTHM KINGS Sun

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Mon

Sept 6

PETTY THEFT VOLKER STRIFLER BAND

Sun

Sept 12

MARCIA BALL

Sun

LUAU WITH WILLIE K BAND

Sept 19

415.662.2219

On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com

Bfrom rews the world &Tasty Paround ub Grub

Hand-Crafted

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Wed, Aug 11 8:45–9:45am; 5:45–6:45pm Jazzercise 10am–12:15pm Scottish Dance Youth and Family 7–10pm Singles & Pairs Square Dance Club Thur, Aug 12 8:45–9:45am; 5:45–6:45pm Jazzercise 7:25–11pm Circle N’Squares Square Dance Club Fri, Aug 13 10:30–11:30am 5–7pm 7:30–11pm

8:45–9:45am Jazzercise ZUMBA GOLD VINTAGE DANCE California Ballroom

Sat, Aug 14 8:00–9:00am; 9:15–10:15am Jazzercise 10:30–11:45am Dance Workout with DJ Steve Luther 7–11pm Circle ‘n Squares Hoedown Sun, Aug 15 8:30–9:30am Jazzercise 10:30–11:30am ZUMBA FITNESS with Anna 5–9:30pm DJ Steve Luther COUNTRY-WESTERN LESSONS & DANCING

Fri, Aug 13 @ 7:30pm

Surrender the Booty Rock

Sat, Aug 14 @ 7:30

Mon, Aug 16 8:45–9:45am; 5:45–6:45pm Jazzercise 7pm–10pm Scottish Dance

Gypsie Cafe

Tues, Aug 17 8:45–9:45am; 5:45–6:40pm Jazzercise 7:30–9pm AFRICAN AND WORLD MUSIC DANCE

Sun, Aug 15 @ 6 pm

Santa Rosa’s Social Hall since 1922

Radio K-Bob

1400 W. College Avenue • Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 • www.monroe-hall.com

Folk

707.874.9037 | www.barleynhops.com 3688 Bohemian Highway, Occidental THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

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Art! Beer! DJs! Zines! Pizza! Film! Graffiti! ack in 2007, Chris Gould, Jesse Whitt and Kevin Belew were discussing art shows and, namely, the fact that they weren’t in them. “We couldn’t—or, for whatever reason, wouldn’t—get into the shows that were already happening in Santa Rosa,â€? says Gould, mentioning the confines of curator’s ideas and gallery spaces. So the three founded what they call the Well-Fed Artists’ League, and decided to use Belew’s house and backyard as the gallery for a DIY art show. The turnout was beyond their expectations. Every year since, the WFAL has thrown a show at the same house, and this Saturday’s fourth annual event might be the most swinging yet. In addition to art, there’ll be hip-hop and soul DJs, $2 pizza slices, a live graffiti canvas hosted by Jake Spruce, a piĂąata filled with small liquor bottles, an art raffle, birthday cake and the release of the sixth issue of Muster, the WFAL’s literary zine. “As much as we’re really trying to step up our caliber and amount of artwork,â€? Gould says, “we’re also trying to make it an event. I’m really into the idea of the old-time variety show.â€? The show also features a who’s-who of up-andcoming artists in Santa Rosa, including those involved in skateboarding, such as Saif Azzuz (best known as Santa Rosa’s graf scapegoat El Barto, now of Pleasant Skateboard Co.), pro skater Tony Manfre (who’ll be showing a Super-8 video and performing a live score) and Jon Lohne, owner of Brotherhood Board Shop. (Quips 28-year-old Gould, “I don’t skate anymore—I’m, like, old now.â€?) Paintings, photographs, sculpture, silkscreens and metal works will be on sale, and one-third of the proceeds go to F.I.S.H. Food Bank and St. Vincent de Paul. Most importantly, even though their show is at a private residence, the group encourages the general public to attend without feeling out of place. “I don’t know how to phrase this, but we don’t feel super selfimportant or, like, the coolest in the world,â€? Gould explains, “which I feel a lot of people at art shows try to do.â€? The funny thing is the Well-Fed Artists’ League might just be the coolest thing in the world without even trying. Check out the scene, and BYOB, on Saturday, Aug. 14, at 728-A Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. Noon–9pm. Free.

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THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

43

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THE BOHEMIAN

08.11.10-08.17.10

43

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