This Is Christmas Metazen

Eternal Recurrence James Tadd Adcox Christmas

By Christmas Robert and Viola are talking about marriage. Neither has met the other’s parents. Whenever the subject comes up, Viola makes jokes about her mother’s alcoholism, and Robert gives her a look like he doesn’t fnd these very funny.

Geist Robert’s parents live in Geist, a suburb just north of Indianapolis. He spends the week before Christmas trying to prepare Viola. “They’re somewhat, well, conservative, you know…” “Really, Robert? Your parents? No one would’ve guessed.” “It’s just that my mother doesn’t come out and say things, exactly—” Viola is making vegan brownies. She measures out two cups of soy milk.

“Robert. Mothers love me.” The vegan brownies, Robert knows, will taste horrible.

Robert’s Mother Robert’s mother opens the door and offers Viola her hand. Viola curtsies.

Robert’s Father In the den Robert’s father makes jokes about Hillary Clinton and the diffculty she might have, if one day elected president, keeping her First Man in line. Many of these jokes feature talking cigars. Robert’s father’s talking cigar voice sounds disturbingly Hispanic. Viola laughs so hard she almost spills her drink, though Robert knows, for a fact, that she doesn’t fnd these jokes funny. He pulls her aside when she goes to the kitchen to refll her drink.

“Look, what’s going on?”

“What, what’s going on? I’m having a good time with your family.”

“I don’t have a good time with my family. No one does. Don’t you think you’re coming across a little—clingy?”

“Clingy?”

“You’re throwing yourself at them, for Godssakes.”