This Is Christmas Metazen

61. Fuck-me boots, in green and black.

62. Nick, what do you have to say for yourself?

63. Ten photos of fabby white stomachs.

64. Awkward pause removal.

65. Ornaments that hang from my thick nipples.

66. Nick, do you ever elevate yourself by bringing others down?

67. A contract kisser.

68. A green shoebox diorama I can keep atop my bathroom sink. Inside diorama: dogs, reclining bicycles, dogs, dog shit, kids, no comets, no naked people, a few runners (more joggers– nobody rolling it), dogs, a man screaming into a cell phone while standing on a bridge, a nice parcel of dead robins in the shrubbery, a house with a pond and this canoe at such an aesthetic angle, like some small Japanese print, I don’t know, I will be jealous of the pondcanoe people but I am sure they have credit card problems and the wife still pays for porn (who does that?) and the teenager just started hardcore into the Furry scene and several rivers (rivers always make me glow and give me energy) and groundhogs gnawing ________’s bloody head and furrows of dirt and unearthed Oxycontin and someone mowing their yard and more dead robins and a few doves and several woodland/swamp areas I would not mind running naked through maybe at sun rise or down or never.

69. Penis trading cards.

70. Mad packing material.

-Leave me out of it.

-What do you want?

-A blowjob. Quick. Then leave me out of it.