INSIDE
p4 cover feature p8 Health & Beauty P14 - domestic violence | p9 - Fashion
JUNE - JULY 2016
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GIRL NEXT DOOR TO international
GAYLE NGOZI
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Pearl Woman - PAGE 3
Let the sun shine I’m
so in love with the sun. It brings out the smile in me. Though for some, it’s the beginning of something more painful with pollens and dust steering up their allergies. Take care and take lots of fluid. At the glimpse of the sun, that urge to recreate, refresh and rebuild ourselves ensues. From revamping the wardrobe to career and relationships. Whatever it is, the sun makes it exciting yet uncomfortable to stay stagnant. It’s also that time of the year when you realise, oops! The year has already gone halfway. Where am I with this and that. Whether you’ve planned to get away to exotic places for holidays or you’re spending the summer holidays with the kids, it’s good to remember that you can do it , you are in control and that any decisions you make now, will determine your result in the short and long term. Thankfully Beyonce has given us the hint on what to do with the lemons life throws at us women . Make lemonade ladies. And that is just what our covergirl, Gayle Ngozi , has done in the last 3 years . Taking the leap of faith towards her passion as to what is expected and good enough, her lemonade right now tastes way much better. Bagging accolades upon accolades; CA award, BEFFTA, and now Screen Nations. She’s onto something and PearlWoman has her on speed dial.
Faustina Anyanwu Fauntee
Chief Editor
Stay Social with us. Send your comments, stories, Feedbacks and questions to editor@fauntee.com Or visit our website at www.pearlwomanmag.com Follow us on Pearlwomanmag Use #Pearlwomanmag Best comments will be published.
COVER FEATURE
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Gayle Ngozi TV Presenter, Actress and Model.
Gayle
Ngozi Thompson Igwebike is no longer the girl next door. She has featured on several high end fashion shows, adverts and is taking a lead in redefining being a Nollywood actress. The star actress and model has been an unforgettable character in two most popular and most successful Nollywood Uk movie, Onyeozi and Oxford gardens both by the producer Obi Emelonye.
The
As she still reminisces on winning the West African female Favourite TV personality of the year at Screen nation, Pearlwoman catches up with her with hopes to get the whole deal sink in properly. The versatile talent takes us through her journey in the fashion, beauty, TV and Movie industry. And how does she keep it all together?
Rising Star I remember thinking: “please God, don’t let me fall!” And God answered because I managed to go on the runway and do my thing without incident. After that first walk, I was amazed at myself
Cover Feature
ON STARTING OUT I started my acting, modelling and presenting career, a little over three and a half years ago. It all started out as a means to an end really. Something to do while I was in between jobs. I never expected to like and enjoy it as much as I did, because, apart from acting in school drama back in secondary school, I’ve not done any acting or modelling before this. So, When I was given the opportunity to do all three, (albeit at different times) in as much as I was a little nervous at the start, I saw it as a chance to
prove to myself that I can do this by trying my very best to deliver a great performance. And I am so very grateful it paid off. My very first catwalk was nerve wracking. It was for a big show, Africa Fashion Week London, which is an internationally recognised fashion event, with designers and models all participating from different parts of the world. The whole experience was like no other and I felt like a fish out of water. And the crowd that attended? WOW.....!! I remember thinking: “please God, don’t let me fall!” And God answered because I managed to
go on the runway and do my thing without incident. After that first walk, I was amazed at myself because I took to it so quickly, that I even got signed to an Agency right there, on that first day I ever modelled. Isn’t that awesome?! My first film was an all Igbo speaking film, shot entirely in London. It’s called “Onyeozi; The Messenger.” It was produced and directed by the prolific Nollywood director, Obi Emelonye, (Mirror Boy, Last Flight to Abuja). I played alongside the popular Nigerian Comedian, Okey Bakassi, who played my husband in the film.
COVER FEATURE As a first ever film project for me, it was so much fun to shoot and I give huge credits and thanks to Obi for taking a chance on me and giving me that opportunity. It was a very big deal that I truly will never forget, because not many people get given such opportunities as first timers, to play lead roles in major productions. I have since then, finished shooting another movie, again with Obi, called; “Oxford Gardens”, which has already been released in cinemas in Nigeria, as well as other projects including three new movies due to be released, both in Nigeria and here in the UK. You can also see me in the latest to commercial for TollyBoy Rice products. I’m getting a lot of recognition lately, especially by Africans, due to that commercial because it is currently trending on most ‘African-targeted’ Tv stations. It’s quite funny really, because it always takes me a minute or two to figure out what’s happening whenever someone points me out to a friend or so, and then maybe, speak to me too. Hilarious..!!
ACCOLADES As I mentioned earlier, even though it is a tough industry, there are rewards and perks that can make one proud of doing the job and more importantly, encourage you more. I have been one of the blessed few to receive such accolades in form of some very prestigious awards, including; Screen Nation Awards, for Best Female International Screen Personality, in March this year and in my category, I was nominated alongside big African ‘made’ names, such as; Nse Ikpe-Etim, Uru Eke and more. I also won 2x Creativity Awards, by C.Hub Magazine for; Best Tv Presenter and Best Model in November last year, BEFFTA Awards for; Best Media Personality in October last year also. The TV programme that I anchor, The Buzz TV Show, also won BEFFTA for best
CAMERA READY TIPS I like to keep my skincare routine very simple because I’m often covered in makeup when I’m working, so any opportunity to let my skin breath is always welcomed. To ensure I’m always camera ready, my daily routine include; washing my face with cool water and ‘Neutrogena’ gentle daily scrub twice a day, everyday, after which I smother my skin with ‘Simple’ gentle skin moisturiser. I love it because it really is gentle for my skin, without too many harsh chemicals. I also never fail to take off the day’s dirt and grime from my skin before going to sleep, no matter what. For cleansing my skin, ‘Garnier’s micellar water is a godsend. It just works wonders for my skin on the days when I’m wearing minimal make and feel lazy to go through a whole routine. I also use Boots own brand of Glycerine and Rosewater to tone my face after I clean. It’s non greasy and
Tv Show in the UK. It’s been a great year for me and I thank God so much for that. Now, I’m seriously praying for more blessings from God. You really cannot have too many blessings you know.
NEXT MOVE My next challenge at the moment is to conquer the African Market. I’m looking at some projects that have been offered to me in Africa, to work on. Projects that will hopefully place me further into the minds (and televisions) of the African homes. But I need to tread carefully, because discernment is required, in order to make these kind of decisions....though I believe I’ll be ok. I know that when God has your back, everything is possible.
very easily absorbed. It’s very important to unclog your pores of makeup and other pollutants accumulated in the day or your skin will suffer for it and I also know that photographers will just avoid working with you if you give them too much work to do in terms of editing, due to bad skin. Lol. For all over body care however, these are my priorities .... Hydration....Hydration...! I drink pleeeenty of water. I have a weakness for Coca Cola and so, I’m always extra careful about ensuring I drink more water everyday, for hydration. This is very important for skin. Exercise is also an important factor for me because not only n shape, it also gives me a beautiful healthy glow, making my make up sessions very quick and without the need to cover up too much with foundation or powder. Finally, sleep. It’s not called ‘beauty sleep’ for nothing ladies. It
COVER FEATURE
really does work. A good night’s sleep can work wonders for your complexion and your eyes. Perfect miracle skin solution that costs nothing and is achieved by doing the most natural and enjoyable pastime, sleeping...!!
Tip: for an instant skin glowing boost, (especially when I have a shoot) I exfoliate my whole body with a mixture of brown sugar, honey and olive oil, rubbing into skin gently and washing off with warm water. The result is always mind blowing gorgeous and super soft skin!
Summer Fashion Must Haves! With summer in the air, I’m looking forward to wearing all my favourite things that winter will not allow for. Including sandals, showing off colourful varnished toenails and wearing some of my favourite outfits. My must have for summer include; Sunglasses (with uv protection), comfy open-toe sandals, wedge shoes (for evening outings) across-the-body shoulder bag, (for hands free strolling) cotton dresses, shorts and T-shirts. Complement with light and gorgeous fragrances such as; ‘Cologne’ by Thierry Mugler (it’s for men but works perfectly on a woman too) and ‘Euphoria’ by Calvin Klein. Don’t forget your favourite lip balms. For that kissable pout...mwah
FAVOURITE DESIGNER ALERT With Africa Fashion Week also due this summer in London, I am excited to see what some of my favourite designers will come up with. But here are some African designer labels that are giving me life at the moment: (in no particular order)
1. Christie Brown, a luxury Ghanaian Fashion brand. The exquisite detailing of each of their outfits or accessories is just so beautiful. 2. Mozambican Designer, Taibo Bacar is a phenomenal fashion brand. Creating some stunning pieces for stars for the red carpet with hardly ever a miss every time. I love everything about this designer and cannot wait to see what they will dish out this summer. 3. This premium luxury handcrafted accessories designer, T.T DALK, based in Lagos, Nigeria, is an awesome source of beautiful craftsmanship, and although they do some limited female accessories, emphasis is more on men and that is very cool. This summer, because I know they love playing with colours, I await eagerly to see what they come up with. 4. Keeping my eyes on Nigerian newcomer, Mae Otti, whose designs are as simple and mouthwatering as they are original. Really really excited about this one and my eyes are watching. The use of colours and fabric blend very well together, creating a rather contemporary and androgynous look that is, surprisingly, very feminine chic. #FashionLust 5.
And last but by no means least, Innocent Messy. This beautiful young African designer based in London, is just a pure joy to discover. Her outfits are very chic, sophisticated and classy. Her boldness is expressed through her designs and her passion to create stunning outfits for women has made her a favourite of the renowned Style Curator, Kanayo Ebi and Innocent will be showcasing / displaying in her studio (KachMeIfYouCan) in New York this summer. How awesome..!
Flashbulb
Divas of colour 2016 High profile guests stun at the 3rd annual Divas of colour held in March 2016 at Hilton Hotel Tower Bridge London. With 24 brand exhibitors, 6 fashion designers 24 award recipients and guests from around the world – Germany, US , Caribbean and Africa flew in to witness a beautiful day. Hosted by the Queen of screen , producer, multi-award winning media personality, Priscilla Nwikpo with her co-host, the award winning bestselling author of the acclaimed title, Humility of the Brain, Eze Ihenacho. The highlight of the night being Faustina’s live interview of Nigerian German based self taught painter , Vivian Timothy who’s paintings has been an out cry o the social, humanitarian and environmental neglect going on in Nigeria and Africa at large. In her opening speech, Faustina Anyanwu, the founder of Divas of colour, urged parents and adults to be more alert to the activities of certain charities that take advantage of African children, continually perpetuating negative and depressing image of African children, diminishing the human value of our children.
HEALTH & BEAUTY
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Summer Beauty Tips For Busy Professional Women Although many professional and careeroriented women have naturally beautiful and healthy hair and skin, they are not often, able to keep them that way in the long run due to their hectic professional routine. Women, regardless of their age, are desperately looking for quick solutions, especially for their beauty and skin issues. They sometimes expect a magic miracle product that will get their issues resolved overnight and or transform them. The fact is that even nature does not bloom overnight and it is time for career-oriented women to wake up from their negligence and imbibe these special spells into a festive appearance. Here are a few amazing beauty tips: Kick powder out of your beauty bags. Powder is an old time beauty tool, used to dry up oil and ‘mattify’ the skin. These days however, oily skin is considered the ‘glowing’ skin and women now prefer to look a bit ‘glowy’ instead of dry. But if your skin is overly oily, then you can use powder to take off the shine, as long as you remember to keep it as minimal as possible. It is not a recommended daily beauty regimen for the professional women aged 50 or more. You can apply it to the t-zone area where oil normally accumulates. To keep your face oil free our cover girl recommends: Use a non-greasy facial moisturiser such as ‘Simple’ Clear Skin Oil Balancing Moisturiser or ‘Elemis’ Daily shine Control, which is a little bit steeper in price but works wonders for oily skin.
Mask it with mascara Mascara should be a very essential and important part of your beauty regime as a professional woman. Mascara makes your eyes look more highlighted and prominent. With just a few coats, your entire face could gain a million pound transformation you can be proud to flaunt without spending so much. From Lancôme hypnose drama intensive full body volume mascara to Le Volume De Chanel and Bobbi Brown intensifying long wear
mascara, professional women can now that perfect eye-catching looks in minutes. We recommend Bobbi Brown intensifying long wear mascara though. It has a long lasting thickening and lengthening effect and adds instant volume to give that intensifying look. What more can you ask for? Our Cover girl recommends --- Giorgio Armani Lashes to Kill Mascara. It is just a beautiful experience using this mascara, as it lifts, thickens, lengthens and adds volumes to your lashes, making your eyes pop. Plus it’s waterproof, which means it, can last all day long.
Ditch Cigarettes and Alcohol. Many people try to handle stress by smoking and drinking alcohol. PearlWoman says, “Run away from them.” There’s no doubt on how much stress professional career women go through every day, especially those with family who have to cope with the demands of caring for kids and home, as well as keeping their heads up and in control of their business or at work. It can all be draining. However, alcohol and smoking will only make things worse, says Faustina Anyanwu, our Chief Editor, who is herself, a mum of three and CEO to multiple media companies. A far better method to reduce stress levels is to make changes in one’s lifestyle and start relaxation techniques such as meditation and breathing exercises.
We recommend: 1). Taking a trip once a month to the countryside. Just being away from the hustle and bustle of a city life can restore some balance and revive your sense of vitality. 2). Take up yoga classes. It stretches and elongates your limbs as well as restores your mind. 3). Daily simple exercise. This could be very simple things like walking, gentle jogging or even rope skipping. They are fun ways of keeping your stress levels down. 4). Self-daily facial massage. This
Health & Beauty
could be just as simple as using gentle circular motion to gently but firmly, massage your facial muscles, especially at night time before bed. It helps blood flow to your face and helps you to relax. 5). Complete bed rest once a week and good night’s sleep. A good night’s sleep that comprise at least, 8 solid ‘shut-eye’ hours, is always recommended by doctors and therapists. Sleep is the body’s time to test itself of all the abuse we put it through. And good sleep at night revitalises you and set you up for the day ahead.
BEDTIME DRILL One daily routine that will keep your skin fresh and healthy is washing it regularly prior to bedtime. Washing your face with products that contain retinol, a good anti-aging compound, will help you reduce fine lines and wrinkles. Combat tired looking skin by making a simple scrub. Mix honey and oats with slightly cold milk, scrub the skin slowly and gently. Wash off with cold milk and water and then pat dry.
Eyes have it.... Cucumbers have been noted for its relaxing and pampering effect. Cut out a few slices and use over your eyes daily for a cool, refreshing feel and pamper treatment that won’t cost you hundreds of pounds.
Keep fresh and hydrated. Water is life they say and we definitely believe it. So we recommend drinking fresh clean water more frequently. Juice and other fluids are good but, none will match taking actual untampered water. Spring water does magic both inside and outside. Aim to consume at least 2 to 3 litres each day for a supple well hydrated skin.
FAHION
Fashion
TREND WATCH What to buy now!
Every morning, you open your wardrobe to dress up for work in hopes of finding something that will instantly make you feel refreshed. You look for an outfit that you haven’t tried on before, or perhaps, a dress that is different from the style you wore the day before. We are sure that all the ladies out there can relate to the awful reality of never finding anything suitable and settling for something that is probably not even close to what you had in mind. Well, an immaculate wardrobe do not just pop out of nowhere. One has to work on it, and build it up, piece by piece. So, if you want to look your most glamorous self when you hit the roads to get to work, you need to keep reading. Here are some of the raging trends of 2016 that have taken the street styles of London by the storm:
Floral fever gets intense Floral prints, embroideries, appliques, skirts, handbags-practically everything from apparel to accessories have taken the street style in London by storm. Now, if you are trying to add a romantic softness to your professional demeanour, experimenting with floral is a great idea. Dolce & Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, Gucci, Versace and countless other big names have put on such a spectacular floral show that the designs showcased are too tempting to resist. Once you set your eyes on the trending knee-length floral dresses, blouses, and black tie apparel, you’ll find your inner shopaholic being unravelled. Every single cent you spend on florals this year will prove to be a remarkable investment.
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Halters look so lush, don’t they just? The next greatest trend to hit London are the halters, and why not? Their glam and sensuality is just the trick to infuse that sense of authority and confidence in you. Halters have emerged as a dominating trend in formal wear, casual wear and black tie. You can add halters to your blouses for work, and pair them with pencil skirts to get the chicest professional look. You can even flaunt your beauty bones and arms at a black tie event with an alluring halter dress. Antonio Berardi, Holly Fulton, Temperly London, Mary Katrantzou and various others have showcased many enticingly glamorous ensembles featuring halters.
Fashion
Pearl Woman - PAGE 11
Fashion
Miniskirt Wonders! T
he women of London are the universal trendsetters as far as miniskirts are
concerned. After all, they were first worn nowhere else but in Chelsea. The women of London will never stop flaunting their toned legs in stylish miniskirts. Since they add so much glamour and panache to your look, you need to stock up on these for your nights out. Versace, Giorgio Armani, Topshop, Temperly London, Burberry Prorsum and Alexander McQueen are only but a few names to help you find the mini-skirt of your dreams this year. Are you someone who has never experimented with mini-skirts? Well, you must love leather, and trust us, the leather apparel just can’t get better than the feel of mini-skirt against your skin. It is time you open up to mini-skirts and say Bonjour to the magnetic sensuality!
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PROFILE
FUNKE Abimbola A multi-award winning lawyer and diversity campaigner
I believe strongly in helping those who are less able to help themselves and in giving back to my community.
F
unke Abimbola is a Nigerian born, UK practising solicitor leading the legal team of 6 that supports Roche’s pharmaceutical operations in the UK, Ireland, Malta and Gibraltar. Roche is the world’s largest biotech company, making a difference to the lives of patients by providing innovative medicines that are targeted to the needs of individuals. Its medicines help healthcare professionals tackle a range of diseases including cancer, rheumatoid arthritis and hepatitis. She recently set up a medical scholarship to honour her father, Dr. Frank Olufemi Akindolie. Earlier this year, emerged the only woman to win double awards at Divas of colour 2016
for the International Diva and Outstanding Diva categories. “Although I chose to become a lawyer, I come from a family of doctors. My father was a gifted, German trained doctor who built up a successful medical practice in Nigeria. He tragically died of liver cancer almost 4 years ago”, says Abimbola. “Whilst visiting my family in Nigeria recently, I realized that I wanted to establish something permanent in my father’s name, specifically to encourage future doctors in the UK. Morale amongst junior hospital doctors in the UK is at an all-time low. By doing this, I hope to
PROFILE encourage and support future doctors to remain committed to their medical careers despite the challenges they face”. “I joined Roche as Managing Counsel in January 2012, becoming the most senior black lawyer working in the UK pharmaceutical industry. I was then promoted to General Counsel & Company Secretary in December 2015 and became the most senior black lawyer within Roche globally and one of the most senior black lawyers working in the global pharmaceutical industry.” Her diverse team of 6 at Roche provide first class legal support to Roche’s pharmaceutical operations (UK & Ireland, Malta, Gibraltar) and are trusted advisers on all aspects of day to day activities for example commercial matters, intellectual property, competition, employment, litigation, pensions, data protection, pharmaceutical, regulatory, compliance, antibribery & corruption law. Roche’s UK pharmaceutical business employs over 1,700 people and has an annual turnover of c. £600 million.
and innovative approach secured her several interviews and an entry level position with a large, fully-listed PLC company.
Pearl Woman - PAGE 13
less privileged. “I believe strongly in helping those who are less able to help themselves and in giving back to my community.” She is a recognised, high profile diversity campaigner within Funke is now a multi award-winning the UK legal industry, initiating and solicitor and recognised legal expert driving through a range of groundwithin life sciences & healthcare. Her breaking diversity initiatives within expertise is listed in several international the industry. She has received national legal directories including the Legal and European recognition for her 500, Chambers Legal Directory and the diversity work, all of which is carried GC Power list. She won the Association out in her spare time on a voluntary of Women Solicitors’ 2012 in-house basis. She won the 2015 Positive Role lawyer of the year award, was recently Model (Gender) award at the National crowned Career Woman of the Year Diversity Awards, Inspiring Member (2015 Women4Africa awards) and of the Year (2015 Inclusive Networks has been an award finalist for Legal Awards) and Outstanding Woman in Businesswoman of the Year (Law Professional Services (2015 Precious Society – 2012), Legal Counsel of the Awards). She was also shortlisted for Year (British Legal Awards – 2012) and STEM Leader of the Year (2015 Black Most Innovative European in-house British Business Awards). In addition, lawyer (Financial Times Awards – she was named as one of Brummell 2014). “I inherited an underperforming magazine’s top 30 inspiring women team on joining Roche in 2012. Now, at champions of diversity. Roche we are a triple award nominees for In-house legal team of the year, She personally sponsored a 2015 report a first in Roche’s history (Halsbury’s called “Opening up or shutting out” Awards - 2013; Legal Business Awards focusing specifically on social mobility - 2013; Financial Times Innovative issues across the legal profession. The Lawyer awards – 2014).” report was successfully launched with an exclusive in “The Times” followed She bravely stepped into a commercial by several articles written by her. role leading on the deployment of a Above all, she’s an experienced and series of patient-focused pilots as part expert mentor and sponsor and a proud of a global, top priority, market access working mother to a 13 year old son. programme called PRM (Personalised Juggling the demands of career and Reimbursement Model), leading a home, she advises working mothers on matrix, cross-functional team of 20 how best to achieve life balance. She individuals. Market access is the main was recently nominated for 2 awards challenge faced by the pharmaceutical recognizing her efforts in overcoming industry and this was the first time significant obstacles as a black single a lawyer had stepped into such a mother (Tesco Mum of the Year – 2015 ) leadership role at Roche. Funke’s success in leading this initiative was noted on pages 83-84 of the Roche Group’s 2014 Annual Report and Accounts (see http://www.roche. com/gb14e.pdf). She has now set a recognised benchmark of “integral legal leadership” within Roche.
Tenacious and determined, when looking to enter the legal profession 15 years ago, Funke was advised to steer clear of corporate law as this area of legal practice was “too competitive for a black woman”. This however did not discourage her. “I drew up a list of the top 100 UK corporate law practices and in-house legal teams and proceeded to cold-call the heads of department within each organisation with a sales pitch about what I had to offer as an With all the strings to her bow, what’s entry-level employee.” This brave more important to Funke is helping the
HOT TOPICS
PAGE 14 - Pearl Woman
Domestic Violence The raging demon.
The news of death of a Nigerian woman in the hands of her husband few weeks ago has made domestic violence the most talked about issue in the Nigeria social media space. Different opinions are being heard as the debate heightens. So many people do not understand how somebody will continue to stay in an abusive relationships, other find it difficult to understand why a person can be so violent as to take the life of his own wife and mother to his own children.
Opinions. Violent men are products of bad mothers. Prince Ezem Ihenacho in his book titled, Humility of the Brain in Defence of Humanity. Page 145, paragraph one and further down. “If indeed children are the future , mothers are key to that future because, no matter how well or how badly behaved, no mother alive has ever , or will ever , be able to miss the birth of her baby, but there is always a possibility , a real chance , that even the best fathers can miss the birth of their babies.” Book Available on Amazon.com .
Do not blame victims of domestic violence; help them come out if you can. - Faustina Anyanwu Domestic violence has no class, status quo, race, school, title, religion or gender. It is a demon who has no fear. The scariest part is that the violent abusers are usually helpless too. They can’t help themselves and do not see anything wrong with what they’ve done. There are a few fractions of them who do feel regret afterwards yet cannot help them at the bout of next episode. It’s like being possessed by some sort of spirit or being an addict. They are psychopaths who know how to cover up their tracks and in fact will have their victim confess to being the perpetrator. These abusers are very clever, manipulative and calm. On first approach, they can be very likeable, charming and great to spend time with. They have lots of insight. They are subtly controlling. Their victims often would think themselves to be the problem. They blame themselves for not being good enough, for causing their spouses to get angry and will go to any length to make drastic lifestyle changes. At this point, they’re already in for the kill. These lifestyle changes are exactly what the abuser wants. Once they get you in this corner, it’s often very difficult to come out of it. The victim would have lost all friends and contacts with those who would have been honest enough to tell her. The victim has become scared of her/him, afraid to spend any time away from the abuser, believes he/she cannot survive without the perpetrator. The victim could become aggressive to anyone who wants to help. They may suffer lack of trust in anyone else but their abuser. Domestic violence is like a drama full of suspense, hugely and carefully
scripted that the victim is totally confused and do not know who or where to go to. That is if she/he finally realises she/he is going through an abnormal issue. Don’t tell a victim to get out the relationship. She/he will hate you because they do not know what’s happening to them. They believe somehow they can do better and their spouse will stop. Unfortunately, it’s not about them. Domestic violence makes the victim lose sense of self, self-worth and esteem. It makes them feel helpless and overwhelmed. They can’t understand what is happening. Domestic violence starts from little jokes, corrections, to scolding to verbal abuses, to commanding , controlling before it finally gets to the beating and bartering stage. By now, the victim would have lost sometimes, their jobs, their family and friends, in good terms with no one, they’re isolated. Even people around would see it as minor disagreement between couples. It’s nothing more. However, the victim is too embarrassed or scared to admit or to tell anyone let alone get out. They need lots and lots of counselling to come out of the daze mood. Blaming a victim of domestic violence is like blaming a child who has been abused and maltreated. A victim is a victim and must be treated with lots of love and kindness. Please note that at first, she may not recognise love and kindness as good as she’s become used to the treatment they receive. They now believe that they are not worthy of anything good and so resent it when it’s given to them. If you’re in a country where police is efficient, or there are Domestic Violence hotlines, get the person to such centres for appropriate care and counselling. Before getting a victim out, also make sure there is adequate security, and distance between them and the abuser because they will still find, stalk and eventually still kill their victims if they’re can convince them to get back into their bondage.
STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM SHAMING , STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BY HELPING THE VICTIM. When Domestic Violence strike, help the victim by getting them appropriate help not blaming them. 24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline
0808 2000 247
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