Within These Gates 2014
NOTE FROM THE EDITORS: All of the poetry and artwork in this literary magazine was created by young men from Washington, DC while incarcerated at New Beginnings Youth Development Center.
Derrick
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Within
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These
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Gates Fall 2014
A PRODUCTION OF MAYA ANGELOU ACADEMY • A SEE FOREVER SCHOOL •
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FREEDOM By Shaquille S. Freedom is what I want Freedom I can’t get Freedom, you really taunt Freedom, it’s coming soon- I bet I feel like a bird that’s caged Waiting for the chance to fly This cage has me feeling enraged When I get my wings I’m gonna fly high Oh trust me, I'm gonna fly real high.
Devin 4 | Within These Gates LM2014 draft 2.indd 4
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FREE ME By Andre I see myself back to square one, Caged like an animal in the zoo. I miss being on the streets, Hearing the sounds: Tat, tat, pow, pow, boom, boom, bang, bang! I can hear the walls screaming, “Free me!” all day and night, Shout out to my men—seem like ya’ll not even gone. Talk to you every day, shake hands every morning. I wish they could free you, too. Man, why they just don’t free me? I’m stressing every night, Tossing and turning, trying to win this fight. Just free me and my men.
FREEDOM IS EVERYTHING By Dee'Monte Freedom is everything Let freedom shine like a wedding ring I grew up off nothing but Hot dogs and beans. The sun in the sky is free The birds that can fly are free There’s a lot of free things unlike me I feel like Hutus and Tutsis going to War with the law to be free Just so I can do me.
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FREE MY MIND By Saadiq My mind is like a rubber band ball Every time I learn something Rubber bands get loose or come close to falling off It’s like my brain is saying Free me Free me from being on pause. What does it take for my mind to be free? I have to take it off pause and find the cause. But my brain is so tied up that it is just lost One question I ask myself is Will I ever be free again? True or false? So, I say to you friend Let them rubber bands fall off And my mind Start over again.
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Riccardo 2014 | 7 LM2014 draft 2.indd 7
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LIFE By Elhadji I’ve spent my 16th and 17th birthdays locked up Feeling like a bird trying to be free People keep saying next year You’ll be free, just wait. But then the next year comes And for some reason it’s all just The same. Birthdays are supposed to be about me Celebrating with family, friends, and females. But when your family becomes DYRS And your friends other residents And the females…well there aren’t any That makes you start to think. RIP to two lost birthdays Just waiting for my 18th birthday When I’ll be free No more lost time No more lost years Just me Living out the rest Of my teenage years.
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BROTHER By Demond I’m my brother’s keeper Always around like a shadow You can look at his photos And see me in his shadow For my brother I’d die For my brother I'd do anything. I am my brother's keeper.
RIP OSMAN By Tyrique All I wanna know Is why u had to go? When u died… Man it was so shocking Miss u so much, rest in peace to Osman U had a lotta haters And a lot of motivators It wasn’t your time yet August 17, 2011 A day I won’t forget.
GOD By Antoine Make peace for Allah. Make prayers for forgiveness. Cherish your life and children! Repent for your sins. Forgive your society! Everything makes mistakes. 2014 | 9 LM2014 draft 2.indd 9
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I'M HERE By Aaron Love, lust, life, loss Come back like thunder BOOM! Love, lust, life, loss Thank the cycle we must cross Pause. Rewind. Play. Stop. Love, lust, life, loss Who’s going to be the boss? Love, lust, life, loss.
TELL ME By Elhadji Life is like living a lie. Told and sold Just like the tide People living a lie They cry, they cry, they cry Living the life that Was skyscraping so high. Talking to me about things I won’t be able to see Talking to me About things we’ll never be. Life is like living a lie.
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NOT HAVING HER TOUCH By Dee'Monte Not having her gentle touch, probably the reason he turns up so much. Without the guidance he wandered off to a dark path…… I walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken HOPES, DREAMS. Why was he left out? Who’s gonna cry for the little boy with nowhere to run to? No one to love. They wonder why he mistreats women, Why he disrespects authority, Why he blows up. When they cry about their mothers beating them, He thinks, “I wish my mother was here to beat my ass!!!” And BOOM! There he goes again, Turnt up. Who’s gonna save the little boy from being in a box or prison cell? Who's gonna cry for me?
Riccardo 2014 | 11 LM2014 draft 2.indd 11
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LOVE IS... By Derrick Love is like a purgatory It tests your patience like waiting At the DMV. Love is a game It’s like a boxing match in which only One person is standing at the end And the other person has taken An emotional beating Or they both have. Love can be like contact lenses That let you see the colors in the world Or it can be like a blindfold Pulled over your eyes. Love is what you make it Don't waste the chance you have for love.
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LOVE IS DEAD By Elhadji No, we will never be apart. Our love is like blood It runs through my heart. But we come from different worlds. Never let me go. I can’t I won’t.
LOVE By Greg Love is like new flowers Just sitting and thinking for hours Controlling the heart with no power Sinking quick, but still trying to get on the tower. Love is the eyes of a human But the heart of a lion Turning off and on like a light source Just sitting there thinking While the clock clicks Still falling, but get up quick.
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G.U.N. V.I.O.L.E.N.C.E. By Elhadji G- gunned down right by his home U- united he stood alone N- never seeing his mistake V- viciously he died with hate I- independent his mom stood O- only thought was how could? L- lonely and cold his body was E- excursion N- never seeing his mistake C- couldn’t open up the gates E- excursion that was food.
Nate
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3 GUARDIAN ANGELS By Isaiah We were just together up Emery Shooting dice and joning. Now you guys are above me Looking out for me. The day I heard I lost 3 soldiers over night Was as if someone pushed A knife through my heart. Rico told me what had happened And how ya’ll burned in the back Seat of the car screaming For help. But now I try to put that aside And make my priority cake. But ya’ll know ya’ll forever To be my men no matter what And now I’m on the wrong path Down New Beginnings Doing some months. But ya’ll know I’m okay cause I’m tough But I’m going to always Remember ya’ll as my men And hold a spot for me cause I feel as though I’m next Cause of all the sins And RIP Every soldier.
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FREEDOM? By Ivory I’m still myself, Free, young, smart, and strong. I still got a long life to live. When it’s my time to go I will be well remembered.
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LOVE LOSS By Jamal My heart pounds faster At the sight of the coffin Body shakes While my life crumbles Hurt All alone Watching my pops Watch me In his coffin Damn his face was torn Like he heard the shackles Tighten on my wrist I’m sorry I couldn’t be there The proper way Thinking back to the better days No love lost But loss of love I’m sorry I’m not you But I would be greater Later D.C. By Jamal Money prostitutes itself for a lot of lives in the inner D.C. A lot of kids are physical like Elie Wiesel And poverty is legal Satisfying the higher power business people I woke up by the sounds of the Fourth of July And it’s August Momma crying because of the shoes That led her son to a coffin. 2014 | 17 LM2014 draft 2.indd 17
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WHAT IF? By Shaquille P. What if, I was out there, We would all be drunk. What if that mother didn't have to wake up To a phone call telling her that her only son is gone? What if? What if, That young girl's mother knew That her father had been Raping her every night and she feels Less of a woman? What if? What if, As black men We weren't judged for the way we dress Or how we wear our hair? What if? What if, There were only black people Would there still be black on black war? Or is it just what the white man swore To make a brother's head sore? What if?
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Matthew
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WHAT'S LIFE'S VALUE ANYMORE? By Shaquille P. Kids transforming from yesterday, to today. When I was young, we were outside having fun. Running after the girls, Playing football, Playing Freaky Friday, Playing tag, And just being normal children. In today’s world, You see children Twirking at ten, Cursing like a bat out of hell, And living fast as lightening. Why are all our young men And women thinking being criminals is cool? Times are getting hard When you have to watch Your back from the person you shared meals with. When are you going to wake up? Or is it going to be too late? McDonald’s is getting rich, But we can’t afford a plate. What's life' s value Anymore?
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WHY DC? By Paris I walk up and down, and in circles Young boys toting guns You’ll be lucky if they don’t hurt you Smelling weed every spot you posted at Or is it maybe you the one taking a hit of that? A lot of guns around me, it feels like Vietnam Drive-by shooting, why can’t this place keep calm? The ambulance siren sounding like warning Just like that alarm clock when you wake up in the morning Homeless people on the corner getting bent Is it meant for them to die? Or maybe it’s a hint. I ask myself this one question, Why DC?
LIVE TO SURVIVE By Lafayette While I’m in the street My heart skips a beat. Plotting on some cash like a thief. The streets calling my name, So then I came. I’m so fly, I’m a bird in the sky. When the feds came I stood as still as a street sign. Life in the D.C. streets— You have to commit a crime, Just to get by.
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CONTRIBUTION By Isaiah This is a contribution to the people I love I’m black, got tattoos, and a record so people going judge They see me as a little ghetto thug But all I want is some love and a hug Aysia, being my first love and that’ll never change She short, beautiful, smart, ambitious too So that’s the reason why Aysia I won’t forget you Grandma asked me- Boy, why are you like this? And I told her grandma, no disrespect, but I want nice s--So I’m going to finish this poem by saying I love y’all and will be home soon Man Man, Karee, and Raynard- Please be my guardian angels While I pray that I won’t get put in a tomb stone soon.
THE WORST PLACE By Derrick I was born on the bathroom floor Born in the worst place Mama was crying Then came a knock on the Bathroom door You should’ve seen the look On grandma’s face! Brought up In the worst place.
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TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE By Stacee In my world I’m stuck But wait, the world is Still moving like a girl At a party who can’t stop groovin’ (time never stops) Tick, tock goes the clock The time is still goin’ Like the middle of Antarctica it never stops snowin’ You go and get it while You can Because if you play Around with life it Just might slip out your hands Time waits for no one I hope you understand My name is Stacee And to make it is My plan.
Tyreke
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BLOOD OF MY BROTHER By Antoine Brother to brother, Friend to friend We grew up in the fast lane From boys to men Now it’s the end of the road, I’ll see you on the other side, I’m looking forward to that day, With my eyes open wide. You were really a great kid, But growing up in the hood, You did what you did, To take care of your family, And put food on the table, And the worst part is, I wasn’t there to save you. I feel all alone now that you’re dead And gone I thought you were gonna Be there the day I came home Now I’ll never hear your voice again Except in my head, I still can’t accept the fact That my brother’s dead, I promise you’ll be remembered And I’ll take care of your mother. 24 | Within These Gates LM2014 draft 2.indd 24
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TO THE DEATH OF US By Teion Boom (2x) Boom (4x) Boom (6x) Woke me up out of my sleep I was just dreaming about my 2 friends getting killed. I remember when I was 15 and my uncle Roc was trying to get me on my feet by selling Drugs. That’s what I wanted and still do, but Now he’s gone. Now on the day of his funeral we all Went to the hood. We had fun, we took pictures, but Later that night everything changed. It was Dark and I started to day dream Boom Boom Boom. Woke me back up and me looking at The still breathing cousin of mine and 2 other friends had been shot. I remember when I ran the group home and They all took me back and my brother And cousin said I was speeding. I was, but later that day I lost someone That I was really close to and will never get back. RIP Uncle Roc and to my big Cousin Trap ALY.
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WHERE DID YOU GO? By Brian Hearing you left us makes my mind think slow You was a man who honored the codes Some people will never know My mind beating my head, my happy face for show Tears ripping my eyes, it’s making my eyes low, They told me you was gone, but really, where did you go? Why they ain’t warn us? I think they need to learn us Since Don-Don got burned up The block now got turned up Niggas scheming on the low He got killed for some dough They said Don-Don got killed But really, where did he go?
Saadiq
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DEAR GRANDMA By Shaquille P. That night I got the phone call you were gone Crushed me like a car hitting a deer. All the memories of the good times we had Started to strike like lightning. I could remember the last words you told me were, “There’s nothing in them streets but trouble!” Then my heart started talking to me, Telling me that it’s over. I wish I could get a day where we can talk And I could tell you all of the things that I have achieved, But I know you’re watching over me And making sure I’m okay.
DREAM STORY By Demond It seems like we just saw each other Life ain’t always what it seems to be Words can’t express what you meant to me. Boom! Boom! Hand shot, Damn! He gone. That shit. Wake me up like an alarm.
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RIP NOODIE & MARC By Saadiq Rest in Peace To the ones that I used to have fun with. Rest in Peace To the ones that I used to have fun with. I remember all of the Halloweens That Noodie used to dress up like Mike Myers I used to always run from you But you will never chase me Then you used to always catch me on the slick. I used to be out all night, and You used to tell me to go in the house—me and Nick. Marc used to tell me to stop crashing I loved shooting dice with him I would take his money and then I’m flashing He used to hang with my brother And they used to smoke and bust moves They did a lot of stuff And they were so smooth It’s a hard time living round the farms But when I went to sleep and woke up It’s like Noodie and Marc were gone…
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Demetrius
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THE SCENES IN SE DC By DeAngelo The cars wail and scream from bullets. Kids running around bare foot stepping on grass. Mothers crying, sons dying. The sun rises like the soul from a dead body. Sirens coming to pick up bodies. Gunshots spit on the wall of the building. Crack fiends, drug dealers trying to make a living. Weed plants walking without feet. Windows yelling at the bat, the building feeling weak. The moon is scared of the killings and dealings, So it creeps through the night like a stalker. My block is like Afghanistan gunshots, war, killing, kidnapping. Blood drips and bones whine and cry for freedom and no more pain. My love cries and cries for love to come. Teddy bears on every light pole. Candle lights every week.
LIL SCOTT By Tivon Lil Scott was cool But my mind was lost when I found out he was dead While in school. He was a good, forgiving person And stayed in his own lane. Trying to chase a dream, His mind devoured education like a genius I stay like him I stay to myself. I’m like a bullet-proof vest; I can’t get touched. 30 | Within These Gates LM2014 draft 2.indd 30
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DC STREETS By Nate D.C. streets is where I like to be. It helps to make me feel free. The money I make makes me happy. It is the place where people can be snappy. On the D.C. streets everybody knows me. D. C. streets loves me. Yes, they make me free!!
LOCK DOWN YOUTH By Ch'Juan Hanging out with Evolution Words filling the air, the best pollution It’s the last day of school, but no celebration Cuz you’re carrying out the days of the sentences you’re facing But this time next year. Some of you will be home Back to the DC streets you’ll roam And it might not seem like much consolation But although you’re here, dealing with lots of frustration This can be the start of something much greater Turn things around, Sooner than later.
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DeAngelo 32 | Within These Gates LM2014 draft 2.indd 32
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A WAY TO FREEDOM By Tievon My life is very abusive It takes me behind metal doors Where I can’t see inside And all I can hear is all these different voices Trying to dig their way in my skull With good advice but still I manage To do whatever. My life lets me out constantly But I guess it’s going to take for my life to click, clack, boom And shoot a good word so I can understand. What’s really important in my life? My life never laughs, but still I manage To not take it as joke. But maybe I will go to the gym with my life So it can grow big And strong like a body builder. This is sucesss It's time to finesse Cause now I’m blessed. I have to take a chance And make my life Worth living.
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IT'S CRAZY BUT... By Ch'Juan It’s crazy but the streets messed up It’s crazy but the system don’t give a F It’s crazy how the police treat us It’s crazy but who care bout us It’s crazy how the youth get treated in the system Because the government don’t care It’s crazy but how can we change? It’s crazy how we can get in the system But how to get out? It’s crazy but it’s crazy and it’s crazy.
RIP RALPH By Dee'Monte Why you Ralph? I remember trapping over the house. We used to have fun smoking rustlers And shooting each other with a paintball gun. Now why did you have to run? The stupid pigs would have never shot you With their nine millimeter gun. I didn’t want that to happen but the feds put you to rest. Talked to your mother at the funeral, She’s hoping for the best. And Sharon, She was tripping I told her that her daughter is blessed. And when we broke down the news She just broke down out of stress. They say the good die young Then why the hell am I still left?
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RIP TO MY MEN By Tre To my men I miss ya’ll I remember the parties, the locker rooms at school, Shooting craps, and just talking The day each of you went I felt like my world dropped Every day I go knowing that you’re not here Like a piece of a puzzle is missing I’m still here The memories stay And it will never go away So RIP to each of you You’ll forever be remembered As my men. STANDARDS By Chris I never knew why times were hard 4 me, Maybe it was beef, or maybe it was poverty. Poverty was getting worse and worse, So my stomach just hurt and hurt. I was trappin' all day and night, So my feet and shoes started to fight. Maybe the money was not the issue, Dead bodies, coffins, wet tissue. Brothers killing brothers for no reason. Summer, Winter, Spring, all season. House mouse stay cheesin'. Click, clack. Bang! Bang! Now it's leakin'.
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NEVER FORGOTTEN By Tievon Where r u? Time passes by and still I can’t find you People crying, blunts dying We know you’re not coming, but I wish You could start running towards me So I can forget about the pain he brought me Remember the cars, blunts, laughs, girls, and guns They were all fun Some people couldn’t stand us, most people Love us. He didn’t care because only 1 person Is being praised and that’s the man above us. It hurts but I have to deal with it It feels like a walking table running into everything I can’t see I know by now I’m supposed to feel relief But I never experienced grief We will be back together Just wait and see I’m waiting on my mind To find the key.
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R.I.P "VONTA" By Trevon Tear drops fall like rain All I’m praying for is better days. When everybody in my damn ear Saying everything going to be okay!!! My eyes became watery Just hearing that line. Down Bottom, we used to ball, Now I’m writing your name all over my wall. Then I’m on my way to Iverson Mall Today a messed up day To get a T-shirt with your face. Whole hood in the club partying hard, “Go Vonta! It’s your birthday!” But it’s not your birthday, it’s your death date. We was both 15 with a lot of big dreams, But on October 13th all that went away When I looked in your face, And I just knew everything wasn’t okay When your eyes closed.
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FATHER By Nicko When I was 8 years old, I watched my father get murdered. 3516 was our building number. We were leaving to start our day. Around the corner comes a black truck. My heart was beating fast. Then I heard gunshots. Bang! Bang! Bang! He collapsed. I miss him, But life must go on.
CJ WALKER By Donovan I miss you bruhh-Thing’s just so dumb. Why they kill my man, When you so young? Not even thinking That you someone’s son. A pair of shoes taken And you killed with a gun. Remember how you was? We use to have fun. You know I miss ya, homie-This your brother Donovan.
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LOCKED UP By Tyrique I hate being locked up, man I wish I wasn’t locked up Being away from my family feels fucked up Especially for more than 6 months Being locked up is a bad feeling I pray 2 god a lot and ask him for forgiveness I call my mova when I get a chance I tell her when I come home Ima be a better man Da barb-wire fence is yelling I’m 16 with a felon And that’s one thing I regret Being locked up like having a heart Cuz it’s not worth living da thing That I’m spitting Goes for thing that I witness. JAMAR By Scoryn R.I.P. Jamar I remember the way we used to Smoke, shoot dice, and play ball. I still remember me seeing you Bleed to death. The blood was like a pool. I remember we used to skip school, Because we thought it was cool. Man, I miss you. A day doesn’t go by without me Thinking about you. I still remember all the things 2014 | 39 LM2014 draft 2.indd 39
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10 QUESTIONS ON LOVE By Michael I don’t know what love means, do you? Is love like a fresh cookie? Is love like a new born baby? Is love like playing your favorite song on repeat? Is love a new car? Or is love like a broken bone? Is love like withdrawal from drugs? Is love like stinky socks? Or is love like a puzzle? Is love like a championship game? You tell me—what is love to you?
Michael
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ME & MY MOTHER By Maurice Love is like a snowball effect When I was young she would tuck me in And kiss me on my neck I love her smell and I pray to god For her to stay well. My mom’s a nocturnal owl She has that nightly smile I wonder is she eternal But I know there is a road with a dark tunnel. My mom’s appearance Just only make my life the clearest. She is the red on a sweet rose. Without her, I would have never shined.
CHILDHOOD By Tyrique As I look at it today My childhood was ok I always had some fly shit Never missed a meal on my plate Because momma always put me and my twin brother first No matter if the situation was good, bad, or worst And I love my mother to the death of me Til dey bury me in the dirt And Ima make my mother proud of me As long as I’m on earth.
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FAST LANE By Trayvonn Living my life in the fast lane Cars all behind me My mind racing But time moving slow My speedometer says 90 mph But I feel like I’m moving slow Cause I’m thinking about so much stuff Trying to get my shit together People just keep stepping in the way Like bad weather Causing an accident I want to take a break But everything is coming faster The clock is stuck At 12pm But I need to get to 2pm I should have just quit But what does quitting get you? So I stay speeding in the fast lane No one catching up to me Staying at 90 mph Trying to get home.
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Juwaun
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LIFE TO ME By Tyrique Life has twists and turns Like a roller coaster Ups and downs Like an elevator Pain and joy Laughs and cries Been through a lot But still I rise Walk around Head held high Life can’t put me down.
LIFE IN JAIL By Tyreke Free me judge Let me free my Mindset to the Better I want better I am better together Me and my brothers and sisters Are going to show you better All I want is you to Free Me.
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LIFE By Nicko This is for the boy’s shaking knee, Sitting at the back of class, Like this is for me. Or should I count to three And my life will set free? I like looking at the tree, When money comes to me. Some things in this world ain’t free, But I miss the day everything came to me. This is the way life can be.
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EDITORS: Chelsea Kirk Rashad Cuffee SCHOLAR EDITOR: Johnithen A SPECIAL THANKS TO: All Maya Angelou Academy Teachers & Staff Fellow English Teachers Ms. Remington, Ms. Barbara, and Ms. McKenna Maggie Kennedy Special Education Case Managers All Youth Development Representatives (YDRs) See Forever Foundation Department of Youth Rehabilitation Services Cover by Impact Scholars Centerfold artwork by Johnithen Back cover art by Vernon
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A PRODUCTION OF MAYA ANGELOU ACADEMY • A SEE FOREVER SCHOOL •
No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission from the authors, artists, and editors.
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