REFLECT The positive and negative characteristics that we attribute to ourselves give us an idea about how our self-image is shaped not only by real and personal characteristics, but also by the criteria and perceptions that are a result of the way we have been educated. The gender conditioning we receive from birth influences us in multiple ways: our perception of ourselves (self-image), the way in which we define ourselves (self-conception), and the importance we give to the opinion of others in terms of the worth and appreciation that we have of ourselves, as well as our knowledge and experience (self-esteem). All this impacts the decisions we take about our lives, how we relate to others and to ourselves. j Sometimes, the negative convictions we have internalized are a reiteration of the opinions that people important to us have expressed, explicitly or in a veiled manner, at some point in our lives. j Over time we tend to assume that these opinions are the absolute truth; this leads to self-criticism, condemnation, and disqualification based on ideas others have expressed about us. These ideas are typically a reflection of what we have imbibed through gender socialization or other forms of learning51 and the traditional ideal of womanhood. j Our negative convictions about ourselves can be changed through reflection, questioning, and deconstructing traditional mandates, by recognizing and appreciating those aspects of ourselves that make us feel strong, safe, vital, and independent—even if those aspects are not very popular with others.
2. Recognize and express your feelings and emotions SEE The way we perceive things and events around us, and the significance that we accord to them produce emotions. Emotion is a subjective reaction to the environment, which is often accompanied by innate organic changes (physiological or endocrinological). Beyond the biochemical explanation of emotion, it is important to identify the manner in which emotions influence our experience, because we learn at an early age what is supposed to arouse our emotions and whether or not it is correct to express them. Certain emotions clearly respond to direct experience; for example, sadness or pain is a response to loss; rage is a response to abuse; fear is a response to a dangerous situation. Generally, our emotions change throughout our lives. Thus, an event that once evoked a certain emotion may now evoke a different one. In addition, the range of emotions increases with experience. Our work as activists constantly offers us new experiences. For instance, injustices we may not have noticed before now make our commitment to redress them much stronger. 51. Dio Bleichmar, E. (1995). Op. cit.
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