Published by FORWARD HOUSE Publiée par MAISON LES ÉTAPES ©2018
Cover image: Le Phare by Julie Beaucaire
TABLE OF CONTENTS Editors / History and Editors’ Note…...…………………………………..……….. p.4-5 Être de tout cœur et d’âme par Francis Marquis……………….......................p.6 Lake Reflection by Charmaine Bastien…………………………………………. p.7 Nid d’un Moqueur-Chat par Isabelle Michaud…………………………………..p.8 Bird in Winter by Ester Cabrita……………………………………………………p.9 Flower in Bloom by Ester Cabrita…………………………………………………p.10 Blue Flower by Sheila Ferrando…………………………………………………. p.11 Pont Couvert par Isabelle Michaud……………………………………………… p.12 Roof Top by Grant Pytel………………………………………………………….. p.13 Le Chat Sauvage par Marie-Josée Piché………………………………………. p.14 Me and the Lion by Catherine Sanders………………………………………….p.15 Poem Collage by Barbie Marshall………………………………………………. p.16 Medicine Man by Judy Minderman……………………………………………… p.17 Wild Horse by Marie Silva…………………………………………………………p.18 Paysage par Virginie Haurie…………………………………………………….. p.29 Portrait of Debussy by Jennifer McLeish……………………………………….. p.20 Drops of Bliss by Christopher Dubiel & Catherine Sanders………………….. p.21 Gamer Girl for Life by Vanessa Perez……………………………………………p.22-23 Van Gogh by Richard C. …………………………………………………………..p.24 The Bride by Ester Cabrita……………………………………………………….. p.25 Houra La Planète! et Lac Patricia par Isabelle Michaud………………................. p.26-27 Martin Luther King Jr by Windshell Vilma………………………………………..p.28 The Key to Happiness by Windshell Vilma………………………………………p.29 Paradise by Charmaine Bastien…………………………………………………… p.30 Gauguin by Hoang Long Nguyễn ……………………………........................... p.31 John Lennon by Armen Bahlav……………………………………………………p.32 The Gift of Music by Windshell Vilma……………………………………………..p.33 Vegetarian Cooking by Windshell Vilma………………………………………….. p.34-35 Picasso by Sheila Ferrando………………………………………………………… p.36 The Fiber-Optic Peach Pink Red Blue Moon by Christopher Dubiel………….. p.37 Van Gogh by Richard C. …………………………………………………………..p.38 The Date by Ester Cabrita……………………………………….........................p.39 Herbin by Julie Beaucaire………………………………………………………….. p.40 Van Gogh by Sheila Ferrando……………………………………..................... p.41 Falling for Autumn by Amanda E. Rodéhn and Christopher Dubiel…………..p.42-44 Van Gogh by Barbie Marshall……………………………………………………… p.45 Matisse by Jennifer McLeish……………………………………………………….p.46 Women in my Life by Sonja J. Cooper…………………………………………….. p.47 Jennifer’s Story by Jennifer McLeish……………………………………………..p.48-49 T. Banks By Noel Evans……………………………………………………………. p.50 Muhammad Ali by Windshell Vilma……………………………………………… p.51
Natalie Reis Chief Editor
Vanessa Perez Layout Editor
Natalie is a teacher at Forward House, a visual artist, and a proud mom!
Vanessa is a freelance artist. She also volunteers as a cook at Forward House and at a seniors residence.
Windshell Vilma Layout Editor
Julius Saldanha Layout Editor
Windshell is a writer and poet. He is also a radio host for Radio Moon and a chorist for MusicArt at the MGH.
Julius works as a cook at Forward House. He also volunteers at a nursing home and enjoys swimming in his free time.
Illustrations by Vanessa Perez
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HISTORY Buoy Magazine is produced by members of Forward House – a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting adults living with mental illness. Among this diverse community are remarkably talented individuals who have contributed to the content of this wonderful literary arts magazine. One such person is painter Maureen Dugan, who says that life preservers, an image that appears and reappears in her work, are symbols of the human need for security and wellbeing, but they also symbolize the lack of both. In other words, they are a beacon of hope when one is drowning, but they also remind us of the struggle to stay afloat. Maureen is a wise and talented woman, and it is her work that is on the cover of the first printed edition of Buoy. Buoy Magazine is founded on the idea that art is good for the soul, and we hope it is good for yours. _______________________________________________________ EDITORS’ NOTE Buoy Magazine presents its 9th issue with the theme Heart and Soul. If you put your heart and soul into something, you can accomplish great things! We may feel alone sometimes, but with creativity we can find relief from loneliness, and embark on a life-awakening quest. The editors’ of this magazine collected works of art, photos, poetry and interviews created by members of the Forward House community. Please enjoy our magazine, as it is like a small museum where hearts and souls are put down on paper, and brought to life. Enjoy!
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ÊTRE DE TOUT CŒUR ET D’ÂME Par Francis Marquis Être de tout cœur et d'âme tant se veut sa raison d'être de toute manière à s'y en reconnaître tant sa passion s'y en enflamme Être de tout cœur et d'âme tant se veut son sens de toute manière en apparence tant son désir s'y en anime Être de tout cœur et d'âme tant se veut son intention de toute manière en relation tant son espoir s'y en affirme Être de tout cœur et d'âme tant se veut son action de toute manière en situation tant sa volonté s'y en assume Être de tout cœur et d'âme tant se veut son attention de toute manière en implication tant sa détermination s'y en allume
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Lake Reflection by Charmaine Bastien
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Nid d’un Moqueur-Chat par Isabelle Michaud
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Bird in Winter by Ester Cabrita
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Flower in Bloom by Ester Cabrita
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Blue Flower by Sheila Ferrando
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Pont Couvert par Isabelle Michaud
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Roof Top by Grant Pytel
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Le Chat Sauvage par Marie-Josée Piché
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ME AND THE LION By Catherine Sanders The lion has big teeth and big claws I have big blue eyes. I am not hallucinating. The lion is gentle. I like to listen to Mozart. I am not hallucinating. The lion is a creature of great happiness and great peace. He is not bi-polar. I am a creative creature who is centered and zen. I am not hallucinating. The lion does not need to be in a cage, as much as I do not need another hospitalization. I do not need to be in a cage, as much as the lion does not need a hospitalization. Are you hallucinating? Am I hallucinating? Are we hallucinating?
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Collage Poem by Barbie Marshall
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Medicine Man by Judy Minderman
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Wild Horse by Maria Silva
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Paysage by Virginie Haurie
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Portrait of Debussy by Jennifer McLeish 17
DROPS OF BLISS By Christopher Teddy “Speed� Dubiel and Catherine Sanders Our truest loves are everyday gourmet cut with tenacity crushing wars within. Soul-Mating completes mystical dancing beyond sexuality. Our artist child we raise up to delight with collaboration undefined highest honour. Weekly capturing chapter-ed once untraveled highways of pronunciation. Tapping devotions of discovery in organic faith. A deep exploration of organic fruition, a rich orgasmic rarity in unexplainable colours.
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GAMER GIRL FOR LIFE By Vanessa Perez What do you do with passion? For me when I was a kid, I always wanted to draw the pictures of various comic book characters and characters from video games. I am a self-taught artist. My collection of art books gives me ideas. My dorkiness started when my parents bought me a SEGA Genesis at the Eaton’s store on Boxing Day in the early 90s. Ever since then, gaming has been my music for the soul. Some say video games are childish. I beg to differ! Many adults work in the gaming industry and compose artistic, complex, and interactive games. From enjoyable gameplay to composing memorable music, these games reflects the pride of humankind and our struggles in this world such as feeling alone in this universe. Now that I’m in my thirties, I reflect on how games and drawings changed my life. I am a quiet person with a humble soul. I donate my artwork for a small financial contribution. I meet so many people who share my interest in gaming. I may not have a competitive edge, but I do enjoy the company of gamers more than regular folk. I have a hard time expressing myself, yet when I game, I see so many interesting characters that reflect me personally. We’re all just trying our best to make our lives more interesting. As a female gamer, I’m not just a girl who wants street credit to hang around with guys. One of the characters I relate to is Bayonetta. She is very pretty but some female critics say she is nothing but eye candy.
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Yet, if they played the game, they would see that she is the last of her coven of witches, seeking her memories about herself that she lost, and doesn’t need anyone to control her in life because she can summon the Goddess of Hell to defy her enemies. She is strong, independent, and was created by a woman. So even though her game is like any other “hack-andslash� type of game, I enjoy playing this game and that matters.
Illustration by Vanessa Perez Retro game reviewers, contemporary gaming media critics, and even cynical people enjoy video games in their own unique way. And with each new game that is released, they present stories that reflect the question of why we are here. I appreciate the mechanics of the latest technologies created by man because it gives us a sense of accomplishment in our lives. I continue to prefer living in the now, rather than forcing myself to be part of a system that controls. I dropped the conventions of life for video games and never looked back.
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Van Gogh by Richard C.
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THE BRIDE By Ester Cabrita Maria was happy. She was going to marry the love of her life in a week. The diet she had been on had been very successful and she had lost those terrible extra fifteen pounds. Maria could see where her stomach had been and now it looked nicely flat. It was all good. All she could hear were wedding bells and angels playing joyful, quiet harps. She floated from place to place. Once in a while she would go to the bedroom closet and feel the smooth, silky material of her wedding dress, the embroidered bodice and the delicate mother of pearl buttons. It was all good. Everything she ate tasted like chocolate, even the celery and carrot sticks. She had died and gone to heaven. Everything was seen through rose-coloured glasses. There was nothing possibly bad on the face of this world. As the story goes “and they lived happily ever after�.
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Hourra La Planète! Par Isabelle Michaud C’est avec cœur et âme que je vous propose une approche d’énumération et d’organisation pour aider la planète. Les catastrophes naturelles, la pollution, la pauvreté, les maladies, les accidents, le terrorisme, les grèves et les autres problèmes du monde sont des sujets discutés dans les médias. Lorsqu’on regardait et écoutait nos vieilles télévisions en noir et blanc, étant jeunes et pauvres, nous étions fascinés par la fusée Apollo qui allait sur la lune, ainsi que par le premier homme qui marchait sur le sol lunaire, pendant que des gens souffraient de faim au même moment. Si on regarde les nouvelles, on parle aussi de séisme, d’îles de plastiques dans la mer, d’espèces d’animaux en voie de disparition et de fumée d’usine. On parle aussi d’accidents d’engins, d’empoisonnements, de blessures ou de brûlures, de terrorisme, de guerre, d’harcèlement, de voleurs et de conflits salariaux. Étant artiste, peintre et musicienne, j’essaie de pratiquer mes métiers avec sagesse, mais aussi avec désinvolture, ce qui, avec de la technique, me laisse profiter de mon art et m’améliorer à chaque jour. Bien manger sans produits chimiques aide à ma satisfaction mentale. J’ai une maladie bipolaire, et je dois avouer que depuis que je mange mieux je me sens mieux. J’apprends sur la santé avec mes amis, et la lecture aussi m’aide à trouver des solutions qu’on peut transmettre à d’autres après. Je fais des activités thérapeutiques qui me donnent l’estime de moi-même. C’est très important aussi de parler de soimême, et ce n’est pas toujours facile, mais avec le temps je me dis que ça viendra. Et, finalement, je trouve que les émotions sont difficiles à exprimer. Merci de votre attention et de m’avoir lue!
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Lac Patricia - Rocheuses Canadiennes par Isabelle Michaud
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Martin Luther King Jr by Windshell Vilma
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THE KEY TO HAPPINESS By Windshell Vilma The key to happiness is to search for oneself Way before we search for real happiness. And it’s only after we’ve found ourselves That we’ll finally reach the door to happiness. Searching for oneself is a long trip deep into the inner self, Through a path we must travel on to find genuine happiness. We came into the world Totally naked and homeless, And totally poor and helpless, With nothing as possession But our soul and our mind, Our body and our health. Anything else that we acquire Is a plus, and anything else That is given to us is bliss. Our simplest self is enough To reach true happiness, Without any other wealth. The good and the wicked look for Happiness in their own way. The good look for happiness In the welfare of others. The wicked look for happiness In the misery of others. We’re all on a quest for happiness. But it’s by searching for oneself, And exploring our inner self, That we’ll get to happiness. Happiness cannot be found. It’s created with wisdom and hard work.
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Paradise by Charmaine Bastien
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Gauguin by Hoang Long Nguyá»…n
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John Lennon by Armen Bahlav
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THE GIFT OF MUSIC By Windshell Vilma With the gift of music comes the end of winter, of the isolation, and sprouts a whole new spring to replace the hibernation.
With the gift of music, we can dance and sing, for the pure pleasure that a song can bring. Singing for peace, for love, or for friendship, we can all rejoice as we sing united in kinship.
A melody, or poetry can surely chase away the gloom, as we stand united in song to better blossom and bloom.
The gift of music is like a conduit, a stepping stone, a stairway, a means to climb high and far and get on a spiritual pathway.
With the gift of music, family and friends come together. With music, joyous hearts beat as one, one choir, one power.
A song is a path to friendship, to life, to a better tomorrow, a song is a path to love, to sing with hope and drown our sorrow.
Like trees growing in unison and reaching out to the hot sun, the heart beats its wings to fly in search of a love song. With the gift of music, we can share a song side by side, for music is what we need to light the fire deep inside. When singing our soul and mind from the deep of the heart, as nations, as humanity, as a world, we’re never far apart.
The gift of music can fill us all with peace, wisdom, and joy, for music feeds the soul and the heart, and creates strong ties. With music, we can build much happiness for all to enjoy. Hence, we can find our true path in life in the song of the wise.
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VEGETARIAN COOKING Interview by Windshell Vilma I had the pleasure to catch up with the vegetarian cooking group at Forward House. On the menu that day was vegetarian pasta, with red peppers, onion, mushroom, and rapini. Here’s what the group had to say!
Jeff Serpa
Noel Evans
Can you introduce yourself by saying your name, and what you do in the kitchen? Bill: My name is Bill, and I work in the vegetarian cooking department and in international cooking Tuesdays and Fridays. What do you prepare in the kitchen? Ester: On Friday mornings we do vegetarian cooking, so it’s very healthy and colourful. What have you learned from cooking vegetarian meals only? Jeff: That vegetarian cooking is cheaper, faster, and healthier.
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What are some of the meals that you have made here at Forward House and what is your favourite meal to make? Noel: We made vegetarian lasagna, burritos with black beans, and black bean burgers. My favourite is the black bean burger, because it’s almost like eating a hamburger.
Bill Ranco and Fernando Saturno What makes cooking fun for you? Noel: Cooking is fun because it’s easy, and there’s no hassle involved. Bill: Learning how to cook is always an art and very helpful in life. It’s a life skill that you can use the rest of your life. Ester: I like touching the food, working with the food, making the food, and in the end it’s always enjoyable to eat a good meal after having cooked in the kitchen. Jeff: Creating a dish from scratch!
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Picasso by Sheila Ferrando
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THE FIBER-OPTIC PEACH PINK RED BLUE MOON By Christopher Teddy “Speed” Dubiel Heart and Soul of the “Coolest-Baddest-Soul-Mates” burns an artistic inferno that squelches into the ashes that pave the way for a boardwalk that was created some twenty-five months ago and still counting. We endlessly count the endless stars in the night sky when there is a full moon and we howl for we know with tomorrow’s love we’ll have a pogo stick to jump to a higher cloud. We are on a lunar dance, free from the need of acceptance from society. We won’t buy into its frowning reality. All we can do is keep each other’s smile in our eyes while the days fall one into another. The sidewalks have cracks, the streets have holes, while everything around us aches with pain and despair, while we are heart and soul as one body. The threads of art are made of love through iron confidence and pride, from the green creamy/dreamy forested waters that invite the inescapable, like unfathomed dreams and fantasias of unexplainable depths. They plow the imagination day and night soaked and dripping in bulletproof sweat and tears that chisel down to the core of the unimaginable, while breaking through currents of resistance. Together Heart and Soul of the “Coolest-Baddest-Soul-Mates” ignite their future in offsprings of art: poetry that splashes ocean rocks. Lyrics that are created by cutting loose pain from its prisons and staggering to its death. Stories that climb through the sky and snake into the world, into the flip side of thinking to seek higher understanding.
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Van Gogh by Richard C.
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THE DATE By Ester Cabrita She hadn’t had a date in so long that she could so relate to Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”. Whenever that song played on the radio she would cringe and say to herself “it’s been years and years.” Her sister, the pretty, outgoing one, never had a problem finding a man. They seemed to always knock at her door and never want to leave. Gloria had made their mother a grandmother twice over now. She was in a solid relationship and the honeymoon was going so strong that you could feel fireworks going off between Gloria and Jean, her partner in life. It was “Yes dear,” “You’re so right my love.” Ad nauseam over and over. Finally Sophie couldn’t take the loneliness that felt like being chopped liver anymore. Someone at work had found her partner on the Internet. It had been love at first sight and they were now newlyweds and expecting their first child. Sophie asked her Internet friend some advice on special stuff to know about Internet love. Her friend told her simply to go with her gut. She had the song “Would you love me anyways?” in her head as she searched the web for love. Sophie did find love. They used Skype to meet on the web. Sophie thought Al very personable and pleasant. He had a good manner about him. For their first date, since he was a chef, he invited her for a meal. When she asked him what she should bring he said herself and some wine if she would like. His home was very warm, decorated minimally but in good taste. They talked and talked for so long that the appetizers were a little burnt in the end. The French wine took the edge off any nervousness and there was much laughing and giggling. Sophie couldn’t figure out why Al was alone in life as he was so wonderful in her eyes. He had much the same feelings of his own for her. “A lid for every pot” – that is what they thought as they said their vows on their wedding day.
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Herbin by Julie Beaucaire
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Van Gogh by Sheila Ferrando
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FALLING FOR AUTUMN By Amanda Ellen Rodéhn and Christopher Dubiel I choose not to forget about the warmest times of my early adult life where I was surrounded by messages and wishes. My name is Autumn and her name was Fall. I met this beauty at the beginning of our season and waited to keep her around forever. I have always thought we are the same. She even wore the same coloured coat and hat that I sported in my first year of that stony University. I suppose I could continue my existence without her but my own ice princess is another story all together. Residence Party October 17, 1998 Fall sits on stoop; Autumn exits front door. Fall: “My name is Fall. What’s yours?” she says timidly. She wears Birkenstocks, a woolly dark blue sweater with green corduroy. Her hair is past shoulder length and slightly curling from a good wash. Autumn: He takes a seat on the nearest porch chair in his comfy gray sweats. “My name is Autumn,” he enunciates grandiosely. He needs a shower so he makes an exit and returns clean with keyboard in arms. We indulged in Jamaican Brownies and I bought a pack of DuMaurier Extra Lights with my last debit money. We experimented with Ecstasy at a rave and after years of therapy with “parental guidance” we decided to meet up again. Spring 2001 Habs game Montreal, Quebec. Loud cheering. This time, seated together; center ice, aisle seats. Autumn’s arm is extended around Fall’s shoulder. They both wear gray sweatshirts. The voice over the PA system is audible: “We are going into third overtime.”
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Fall: “Did we win?” she questions her beau. Obviously, this was her first game. Autumn is just as obvious in his affections for her and his love of the game. Autumn: “It’s third overtime, wanna take off?” They make their way through the crowd closely and separate shortly after never knowing the outcome of that one Canadiens and Flyers game. Vacation Alone Fall is blinded by the red, pink, and purple sunset as she wearily writes Autumn’s name in the sand with her ringless hand. She has been diagnosed with schizophrenia since the summer after we met. She says out loud but no one is around to hear: “I love you.” Meanwhile, Autumn stares blankly at an orange and yellow computer screen with the words Summer Bummer in front of him. He wipes tears away from his frustrated eyes. According to me, we are Soul Mates. Two Tickets to Toronto, Winter 2003 Fall, from her dorm room, calls Autumn long distance with some good news. Fall: “Guess what? Daddy is sorry about last summer and has leased a car for me. Would you want to go with me to Florida? We could drive it back and celebrate the holiday season together.”
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Autumn: “I’d love to! Haven’t been there since I was a kid!” He pauses, uncertainly. “Fall…” he sounds upset. “Mom’s hidden my passport in the safe and they are on vacation…. probably in Florida!” Fall: “Oh, please…” She tries to reconcile. “You only need your driver’s license these days.” Autumn: “I know, sweetie. I’ll call you right back.” And I did. So we went and sped her new car within the speed limit through the States, listening to our favourite tunes and not sharing her strawberry Pop Tarts along the way. Twice we stayed at hotels in T-Dot and the Sunshine State. In Toronto, we ate steak and she joked about seeing my dad with a metal detector on the Floridian coast. I also remember throwing a styrofoam container of old breakfast ham out the Focus ZX3 window. I mimicked the waitress’ southern accent. “Na, hunnie, I don’t wanna see that goin’ ta waste na, ya hear?” She laughed so hard we almost took an unwanted exit. Finally, we made it back to my parents for a memorable New Year’s. February 8, 2008 8:02pm Soul-Mates Forever. The birth of one daughter is enough for Fall. Autumn: “I don’t want a baker’s dozen!” Julianna was born for Valentine’s Day and our love has been sweet ever since. Love can triumph over any critique, cold stares, and immature decision making. The End
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Van Gogh by Barbie Marshall
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Matisse by Jennifer McLeish
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WOMEN IN MY LIFE By Sonja J. Cooper I was a single mom. In 1986 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with dark eyes. My father brought a hockey stick and a computer to the hospital to celebrate his birth. His father was from Crete. It was a cold day in October and when I was in labour I looked out the window and the mountain was ablaze with red and yellow trees. When I was a child I had three grandmothers. My grandmother Olson lived in Tide Head, New Brunswick and was the mother of three girls: Edith, Ester and Doris. My grandmother was a school teacher and worked in a one room school house in Glen Levit. Ester was a nurse and Doris was a secretary. These three women were an inspiration to me and helped create the mother I became to my son.
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Jennifer’s Story is a short film by Jennifer McLeish and Richard Diraddo. It is the story of a young woman coping with mental health issues. Her story began when she was only 22 years old, during her fourth year of university. During that time, she began to hear voices, which led to difficulties in concentration and lack of sleep. Eventually, Jennifer dropped out of university and began a challenging struggle with mental illness. She ended up on the streets, but managed to find her way through the system to finally end up where she is now - in a better place. The film is 15 minutes long, and can be viewed online at RADAR MENTAL HEALTH on www.vimeo.com.
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Film stills from Jennifer’s Story
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T. Banks by Noel Evans
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Muhammad Ali by Windshell Vilma
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VISIT OUR WEBSITE! www.forwardhouse.org Visit our website to view past issues of Buoy magazine, listen to episodes of Radio Moon, watch films made by Forward House members, and access any information you need regarding the services offered at Forward House.
VISITEZ NOTRE SITE WEB! www.maisonlesetapes.org Visitez notre site web pour visualiser les numéros précédents de la revue Buoy, écouter des épisodes de Radio Moon, regarder des films réalisés par des membres de Maison les Étapes, et accéder à toutes autres informations dont vous avez besoin concernant les services offerts à Maison les Étapes.