MAGX #19 March 2007

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KRATOS IS COMING!!!

GOD OF WAR

The sequel to the best-selling Playstation 2 game is being released this month and we loved the fi rst one so much that we decided to put KRATOS (The Game’s Main Character) on the cover. GOD OF WAR 2 is one of the most anticipated titles of the year and with good reason. Sony Interactive sent us Promo Copies for reviw and this game is PHENOMINAL.

Contests, Contests Contests! We got Plenty! What do you want to win?

A shirt Autographed by Jared Leto of 30 seconds to Mars & Countless movies roles?

ramsey Publisher

frank x Editor

How about a $100 Tattoo at SKIN DEEP Tatoos in McAllen? Or maybe a $30 Gift Certificate to Skunky’s Smoke Shop? A gift certificate to

GameStop?

Well shoot us an email with the correct answers and all of this (or some of it) can be yours!

Pending Fate: A great local metal band Metal band we have been meaning

to interview for a while has fi nally made it into the pages of MagX. We discuss everything from Whataburger to Video Games to Chewing Gum. CHECK IT OUT. We got plenty more in here for you but no room left to write about it. So read on and Thank You as always!

-Ramsey ramsey@magxonline.com

J3S

Contributing Editor

leo MySpace Guru and Writer

freddy freddy p

the vault master

The Vault Master

leo nadia

MySpace Guru and Writer Writer/ Resident Bookworm

black mantis komotaka Letters Page

mickey

INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING IN MAG X? WANT TO SUBMIT A STORY OR ARTWORK? CONTACT US AT MAG X • 601 W Pecan Suite 2, McAllen TX 78501 956.661.9595 or 956.648.4464 Distributed by South Texas Circulation • 956.566.1157

proofreadin’ pooch



“X” Lover of the Month Mando of Brownsville, TX Writes: Email your answers to CONTESTS@MAGXONLINE.COM

Letters & Contests

Win Free Sttuff or Get Burned by: Lord K.

Count the Kratos’

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We have cleverly hidden our beloved anti-hero throughout the pages of this issue. Find them, count them and email your answers to contests@magxonline. com with the subject KRATOS (if it doesn’t say Kratos on your subject, you will be disqualified.). If you have the correct number you could win a gift certificate to GameStop.

$30 Gift

Hello, BIG FAN of the magazine... read every issue. Just wondering, how could I get my band featured.Keep up the great work. -Mando Dear Mando, At last, more morons are being awakened! Komotaka is glad that you have seen the pure genius that is Magazine-K err... X Komotaka meant. As far as your band, Send a demo CD or media pack to Komotaka headquarters uhum... Magazine-X headquarters at 601 W. Pecan Ste A, McAllen, TX 78501. And this goes for any band, established or not!

If your letter makes it to print you will win a genuine limited edition Magazine-X, T-shirt that’ll make all your friends jealous and all the women flock to you. Komotaka on Spring Break See Komotaka at Padre Komotaka be one with Big Beads!

“I got some bootie! I got some bootie! It was good, too. “ Think you know it all? If you can tell us what movie this quote is from we’ll hook you up with a $30 gift certifi cate from Skunky’s. Email us your answer to contests @magxonline.com with the word SKUNKY in the subject (remember if it doesn’t say SKUNKY, you can not win.)

Win Jared Leto!

A.

B.

C.

MATCH THE TAT!

WIN A $100 TATTOO AT SKIN DEEP Do you know which celeb each tat belongs to? We shall see. Guess ‘em right and get $100 gift certificate to SKIN DEEP TATTOOS in McAllen! It’s just that simple. E-mail us the answers and POOF! The gift certificate appears in your hand...well not really. E-mail us to contests@magxonline.com, One name will be drawn at random from all correct answers

Email your answers to CONTESTS@MAGXONLINE.COM

(...sort of)

Win an autographed 30 Seconds to Mars Baby-Doll shirt, autographed by Jared Leto and co. Shoot us an email to contests@magxonline. com with the word SEXY JARED in the subject (if it doesn’t say SEXY JARED on your subject, you will be disqualified.) and tell us why you deserve this shirt .


Cigarette Burns

Cigarette Burns

By: J3S

“QUIS CUSTODET IPSOS CUSTODES?” On March 9. director Zack Snyder unleashes his cinematic epic, Frank Miller’s 300. As we line up at the theatres and wait for them to let us in, I decided to bring my copies of 300 along with 5 other “trade paperbacks” to kill some time. 300 is the tale of King Leonidas leading a Spartan army of 300 against a Persian army of ONE MILLION strong in 400 b.c. If you are not familiar with the comics versions of 300 and Sin City read on, these are the MagX picks for the comics you need to read.

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BATMAN: The Dark Knight Returns (DC) Frank Miller Hands down the greatest BATMAN story evr written. It has been ten years since anyone has seen the BATMAN. Gotham City is fl ooded with gangs and crime. The Heroes are gone, only Superman remains and the world is on the brink of world war III. frank Miller brings out the “Dark Knight” out of retirement for on fi nal

boiling point in a horrific that will leave you breathless. No other book will come close to the sheer perfection that is Watchmen.

battle. If you ever wondered who would win in a battle between The Man of Steel and the dark Knight? Only one makes it to the end of the story alive. Miller’s portrayl of The BATMAN fi nally does the character justice, at the end he is no longer a hero, but a legend. WATCHMEN (DC) In 1985 Alan Moore changed the comic book industry and mentality with a 12 issue series that still impacts creator of this medium. Ask any true comic fan and 9 out of 10 will tell you Moore’s Watchmen is the best comic story ever written. His realistic take on superheroes who set out to solve a murder within their own ranks, their journey takes them through the frightening, and the familiar, Paranoia, Friendship, Betrayal, and dark family secrets all come to a

Daredevil: Guardian Devil (Marvel) Kevin Smith & Joe Quesada. Let me start by saying that I’m not a fan of Smith. I don’t care too much for his movies. Imagine my surprise when I read Issue #1 of Guardian Devil and was blown away. Our Hero is intrusted with a child born to a virgin mother. She believes the baby to be the messiah, others believe it to be the anti-christ. Daredevil is stuck in the middle of this battle of Faith, sorrow, truth, and ultimately redemption. With cameos by Bull-Eye, Dr. Strange, &

Spider-Man, Guardian Devil is Smith’s near perfect tale of the man without fear. Kingdom Come (DC) Mark Waid & Alex Ross A futuristic tale of DC’s last days. Superman along with the heroes of the DC Universe have retired. Replaced by violent younger heroes who do not share their morals and ideals. Superman must come out of retirement to reform the Justice League. A huge apacolyptic battle breaks out, and only Superman has the power to stop it. Just before he gets to the battle lines he is stopped by the only person more poerful than superman... This story was created by true fans for true fans.

Spider-Man: Kraven’s Last Hung (Marvel) J.M. De Matteis & Mike Zeck A black suited spidey in one of the darkest tales of obsession ever written. Told from (B-Villain) Kraven the Hunter’s point of view. Peter Parker’s newly wed life is torn apart piece by piece in an amazing tale of personal demons. Anyone who has a fear of being buried alive will cringe at this tale. This is just a few of my favorite books. Check out magxonline in the coming week for huge list of books and movies that are Mag-X approved! -J3S



Off the Rockin Chair

Wolfgang’s Vault

By: Walter G. Bartlick

www.wolfgangsvault.com

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What can I say, except holy @$#%. This sight is far beyond awesome. There is an almost unlimited amount of classic, and not so classic, live concert recordings. These recordings have never been released on any album, by any of the artists. Needless to say, I am sure there will be some sort of legal ramifications there. In any case, the best part of all of this is the price, it is absolutely FREE. Yes K-mart shoppers, that is better than a freakin’ bluelight special. They have everything from 70’s Black Sabbath to The Cure, and many bands in between. Whether you like the soft side of things, or heavy metal; this site will keep you listening for hours. They also offer a live streaming radio in case you want to mix things up. Listen long and while you can. You won’t regret it.

��������long�����while you

can�������won’t regret����


“And the revolution finally came.” By: Dennis M> Zamarroon, Jr.

A Local

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REVOLUTION Tonight a Fire was playing when I walked into Simon Sez and sat at the bar, it was freezing. They had the backdoor open. None the less, I ordered two $1 Lonestars that had been sitting in a heavily packed ice cooler. I said hello to Robert and watched muted ESPN factoids about the Superbowl. Football season is almost over. Joaquin arrived, and we chat-

ted about “Letters to Iwo Jima.” Tonight a Fire fi nished. While Methmare Motorcade set up, Mark arrived with Crystal and Uriel. Mark and I drank Maker’s Mark. Methmare began. We all drank and greeted friends as they passed by with their respective libations. Laughing, talking, the room had gone warm. The backdoor was closed. I took off my

jacket and continued carrying on. Methmare Motorcade had fi nished its set when I was drunkenly chatting with Joe, I believe, and when the conversation ended, I turned and literally bumped into Ramsey. Ramsey had some of his own medicine that night. He had bought a tequila shot for a friend in the past, but slyly substituted “151” instead. This particular night, said friend had returned the favor. We talked of the diversity of music in the Valley. Spreading originality through out, and letting the Tejano bands fend for themselves. Even in spite of each other tastes, the common pursuit of pushing the envelope was there. Then, he asked me if I wanted to write for his magazine. I did. I was excited. I was an M.C. for a trip hop outfit that used to play bass for a hardcore punk band that was good old fashioned ripped on American spirits. I had just fi nished see-

ing an Indie solo act and a metal band. It was a wonderful beginning. The skill and imagination to create original music is no lost cause in the Valley. One man immediately comes to mind, the one man midi crooner, a beautiful lotus. I have friends who don’t get Phil. Actually, I don’t totally get Phil, and I’m perfectly fi ne with that. That’s the mark of a true artist, is it not? It’s the chaos of his sound, they say. It’s too intense, TOO MUCH. For me, that’s what makes me want to run around in circles and dance with my hands in the air like I just don’t care. It’s one of the heaviest things I’ve ever heard. What? Who’s Phil? Oh, Phil is that ever smiling long haired fellow with the thick mutton chops, one of the nicest guys that you’ll ever meet and the father of midi core madness that he forges as “a beautiful lotus.” Phil describes his music as “mix of what I’m feeling on

the inside, being described as a mix of grind, techno, and metal...midi-grind, midi-core whatever you wanna call it.” He elaborates, “I think it’s the most extreme thing I can put down on tape at any particular moment. Vocal wise I try to keep it as original as possible as I can. I’ve been working on my vocal style for years now and I’m still perfecting it.” I inquire about the intensity thing. “The way I see it, the more intense something is, the more attention it will grab. Especially during live shows, I try to show the crowd the most intense show they could possibly see from one person, and one person alone. Without intensity, I’d just be one other band trying to do something with there time but ending up crying over something that makes no sense!” In regards to the diversity of Valley music, he thinks it’s growing everyday, and “people are getting more


- Dennis

�����������shows�������played ����statements�������made�� 11

and more into other types of music then just the regular radio rock you always hear. The Valley is getting better with music and such. The shows are getting more and more packed by every passing show, kids actually stay inside and watch bands and buy merchandise and support your band(s). A couple years ago I would’ve never thought that a show in the valley (for local acts) would have so many people attending...and actually having a good time at the same time. It’s just great, the Valley is where it’s at right now!” Phil Lotus is a fan boy himself. He enjoys Severance, “they have been around for ever and are still kicking people’s butts whenever they play.” Also, “Walk the Graves, the Ones You Call Good Looking, there is so many more

but at the moment my mind is blank...like a canvas or something.” A.B.L. gets to see his acts at various locations around the Valley but, he takes a concerned but positive approach. “The

valley venues change a lot and it is hard to keep a place for a certain amount of time without someone doing something bad to jeopardize the future of the venue, but for the most part the VFW in McAllen is a good spot for bands every weekend (well only Fridays now). He mentions Smiley’s in Harlingen and Chapa’s Bar in Brownsville. “Other than that you can see any of these bands basically anywhere. New venues are always coming up so something new is always in the near future.” Putting his money where his mouth is, that nice boy with the long hair from Donna, TX is leading by example. He has a new full length album in the works to add to his already thick catalog which is out this year. Aside from his own records, a beautiful lotus has splits planned and in the bag with Scissor

Shock, Grim Kirby of Austria, and Germany’s Yacopsae all also slated to be out this year. You can fi nd Phil’s music at: http:// myspace.com/abeautifullotus As I mentioned above, I used to play bass and sing backing vocals in a hardcore punk band called, TX Fistfight. We had a few shows, an unfi nished demo, and it was fun, typical story of “our silly little band.” In the fi rst incarnation of Fistfight, my friend, Manny Montejano, played guitar. He was the fi rst member to leave. There was no ill will. He started jamming with some friends and later became sooner and The Young Maths solidified. A great rock band that was infl uenced by The Faint, The Hives, Abba, Death from above 1979, Man or Astroman, Kanye West, The Stills, LCD Soundsystem, The Strokes, and disco hits of the 70’s. Their live show

sounded great, it was fun, and they had a following, but they broke up. For reasons that are really none of your damn business, that was it. The Young Maths can be found at http://www. myspace.com/theyoungmaths . I tell this tale because it harkens to diversity in Valley music. Manny was in TX Fistfight. He left, but found another band with a different style. Even though The Young Maths have played their “last show, “The music goes on with a community of working musicians of varying style. Speaking of varying styles, I rap for a trip-hop group called Terrorbot. It’s collaboration between me and a long time good friend, Danny Cardenas. As master of ceremonies, I am Great American Taliban. As the manual automated production unit, he is Luvbotnumber9. Together, we are bring-


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ing forth the hip hop apocalypse. Terrorbot recently invaded the club with a D.J. Set as FISTF*CK THE DJ at the inaugural night of Disco Trash at Club Montrose in Edinburg, TX hosted by Bosco of S.T.A.R. Soundsytem. FISTF*CK THE DJ made “Disco Trash: Version Won Point…OH!!!” for the occasion. The fi rst Terrorbot album, “Automated Terror: Versions 1 through 10,” is in the works and you can hear demos at http://www.myspace. com/terrorbotishere . “We are Terrorbot.” When Terrorbot is done with the album

a full band will be assembled to perform live. I’ve been witness to a very good live, hip hop band for inspiration, right in my own town. Damaja Squadron. They’ve opened for major acts like Busta Rhymes. They’re the complete package. Aside from doing great covers in the bars they frequent, they make excellent original hip hop music in the vein of the Roots. Find their music at http://www. myspace.com/damajasquadron. So; let’s see, we started in the bar

with Indie and Metal. We found some Midi core. There was a Rock band sighting. Some arrogant terrorist made a shameless plug for Trip Hop. A live hip hop act carries a cadre of interesting musicians. Let’s touch

on some new blood. I fi rst met Phillip through Roland I think at Trenton Point. I saw him at shows and parties. When TX Fistfight came around, we would hang out more often since he was still hanging around with Roland and Alex. Time past and all that stuff you just read happened. I briefl y worked with him at a corporate “turn and burn” for a bit. I quit. Then one day, he told me he joined a band. I asked if I knew anyone else in it, and he said, “No.” I was legitimately surprised. I figured he’d be with someone I already knew. I was pleased. I was getting a bit worried that other “kids” weren’t starting bands anymore. I asked of their style ‘cause I know how bands love that. Band members usually get that face, and retort, “You really have to hear it to get it.” HOW POMPOUS. Are you saying that there are NO words in the English language to describe your style? Or worse yet, are you not capable of equating at least part of the audio experience in words? Well, Amerantha didn’t take the easy way out. They stepped up and said, “Screamo or Post Hardcore, but we like

to call it experimental, its music!” See. How easy was that? Amerantha arrived at their style through comprise combining Thursday, Chiodos, Valient Thorr, A Change of Pace, Slipknot, and Underoath along with the sound of babies dying to craft a sound all their own. They all could agree that their style is what they love and enjoy. You can fi nd songs at http://www.myspace. com/amerantha .We did not simply arrive at this point in our musical culture. It’s been nurtured throughout by bands like Confused, who have acted as guiding fathers to many bands and lent that helping hand. Collectives such as The Coven and The UNION heralded in more and more shows. Now, it seems to be the era of the promoter in our scene. Goodbar Productions, Dead Gift Productions, Valley Hardcore, Circle Drive Productions, S.T.A.R. Soundsystem, Ill Oddio, M3 Productions, and Ready Thy Sword Entertainment are all promoters booking shows of multiple genres sometimes even on the same bill. This gives artists opportunities to be artists.



PE N D I N G FATE PE N D I N G FATE

PE N D I N G FATE

Mag-X: How did the band get started? Pending Fate: The band was originally a Mudvayne cover band called Devious Medic that was composed of members Benny Ortiz, John Rodriguez, and Ernesto Banda. When Javi Flores joined the band and introduced the band to European metal, the music started going in a different direction. Mag-X: How was the Magname decided on? Pending Fate: It was decided during a mara-

thon of playing Guilty Gear X. It came from the fact that people generally have one of two views regarding fate: that fate is absolute and unchangeable, and that one’s fate is only determined by one’s actions. Mag-X: What would you say is the best thing

about being in a band in the valley?

Pending Fate:

The best part is representing south Texas and the rest of the state that Pantera came from. Mag-X: When do you feel Pending Fate is the strongest?

Pending Fate: We are at our best when we’re playing live and feeding off of the crowd’s energy. Mag-X: If Magyou guys could tour

with 4 other bands what would the tour be and who would the bands be? We would love to go on tour with Disarmonia Mundi, In Flames, Opeth, and Korn. It would be called The Dead Horsemen of 10,000 Apocalyptic Winters Tour.

you guys do to make sure you stand out from the crowd? Pending Fate: We don’t worry too much about whether or not we sound like other bands. We just put all of our focus into making music that is good and that we enjoy.

Mag-X:

Mag-X: Of all the Magplaces you all have played, which has been your favorite thus far?

With all the bland sounding bands out there, what do

Pending Fate:

Our favorite place to play is probably Chapa’s Bar: “The Pit” in Brownsville.

John McClain • Tom Fatherree • John Rodriguez • Javi Flores • Matt Garza


Mag-X: If Pending Fate were chewing gum, what would your slogan be? Pending Fate: Need a metal moment? Chew your fate: now with 10% more ham! Mag-X: What albums are you guys currently listening to? Pending Fate:

The sound there is done well, and there’s a great vibe there that’s easy to feed off of. Most of our best shows were there, and it’s fun to play whether we’re playing for a full venue or for three people.

to get to the fi nished product. Occasionally we turn to Guitar Hero II for inspiration.

Matt: Mnemic – Audio Injected Soul, All That Remains – The Fall of Ideals; Javi: Disarmonia Mundi – Mind Tricks, Soilwork – Natural Born Chaos; Tom: Porcupine Tree – In Absentia, Sikth – Death of a Dead

Mag-X:

Matisyahu - Youth Have you guys earned any haters yet?

Mag-X:

Pending Fate: We have our share of them, but we don’t let it get to us. When you’re in a band, regardless of genre or whatever else, there will be people that like you and people that don’t. All you can do is

go about your business. Mag-X: Any last thing to tell our readers?

Pending Fate: Fate is what you make it. Thanks a lot to everyone that has supported us, and be sure to check us out at myspace.com/pendingfate.

What is the writing process like in Pending Fate?

Pending Fate:

There’s no one process that we always follow. Javi generally brings a plethora of material to practice to work with. From there we just bounce ideas off of each other and see where the song goes. Sometimes a song is almost done in a day, and sometimes it takes weeks or even months

Mag-X:

What is the perfect thing to eat after a show? Pending Fate: Without a doubt, Whataburger is the ultimate place for postgig grub.

Day; John R: In Flames – Reroute to Remain, All that Remains – The Fall of Ideals; John M: Tool – 10,000 Days,

For more information on check out www.myspace.com/pendingfate

shrug off the people Pending Fate that can’t take it and


Skullcandy

By: Frank-X

Band: Helloween Album: The Keeper of the 7 Keys Pt. 1

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I was wondering why the fi rst song sounded so much like the Thunder Rolls from Garth Brooks, WRONG TAPE! Now that the fun is over and the correct cassette is in the deck. I thought I was in for a real treat. Initiation the fi rst track of the tape so far wasn’t bad, simple, steady, and strong. All was well until the vocals came into the mix. With a powerful band there HAS to be a stronger vocal presence in the mix. I’m considering this album as more of happy power metal. Most of the lead guitar riffs stick to an epic medieval theme that comes off as “jolly, bubble-gum power metal”. Future world, what a shame. What were these fellas thinking? I really don’t want to fi nish this album with it being 99% “cacita”. If this is credited as one of the best albums in their catalog, I say pass! I’m just glad power metal has reached greater potential with other bands. (Cough, Cough MAIDEN!!! Cough) Finished the album. I wasn’t let down, pure caca!

“No����������������� �������chuck it.�

If you still haven’t seen the PIck of Destiny, fi rst of all SHAME ON YOU! Second, YOU NEED TO! The fi lm chronicles our beloved heroes Tenacious D (Jack Black and Kyle Gass) on their rise to power. When they hear a story about a guitar pick that is supposed to give the wielder the power to rock peoples socks off and blow their minds. In the movie known users of the pick were legendary guitarist like Angus Young, Randy Rhodes, and Jimmy Page. Sporting an all star cast that includes Meat Loaf, Ben Stiller, Tim Robbins, and Dio, Himself! The D and director Liam Lynch bring you the hardest rockin’ musical EVER!

Tenacious D • The Pick of Destiny Available Now!

Machine Head is back! The Blackening which is the follow up to the to 2004’s Through the Ashes of Empires is CRAZY!!! The album opens up with Clenching the Fists of Dissent. The 10 minute 35 prog meets thrash anthem is full of angry lyrics, sharp riffs, thousands of time changes, and pummeling drums that the band has come to be known for. Other tracks on the record such as the brutal opus, Aesthetics of Hate written in response to an article of the same name insulting legendary Damageplan/Pantera guitarist Machine Head • The Blackening Darrel “Dimebag” Available 3/27/07 Abbott are riff factories, with different movements and textures all around. The ever changing track Halo shows off a lot of the bands shredding ability as well as great vocal harmonies. But if you are quick to dismiss this as just any other metal record, you couldn’t be farther from wrong! Vocalist Rob Flynn showcases just how great of a singer he is in the somber, album concluding A Farewell to Arms, a heavy yet melodic song featuring thematic guitar work, haunting melodies, and a huge chorus. And if that isn’t enough to hook you, think about this, the record contains only 9 tracks and clocks in at about 72 minutes with the shortest track on the album coming in at 6 minutes and 25 seconds!



TOOL Postponed, AGAIN! Maybe it’s a sign? They’ve been forced to postpone twice! But who knows maybe the third times the charm. This is the official word from the band’s record label. TOOL has been forced to reschedule its previously announced North American tour due to an injury in the band, according to a press release issued by the group, “Over the weekend, drummer Danny Carey tore a bicep. Danny underwent surgery today and is recovering well. Rescheduled tour dates will be announced shortly.”

Chris Cornell leaves Audioslave!

Stab Notes

Quick and painless music news by: Frank-X

Two-time Grammy winner, Chris Cornell, announced today the release date of his 2nd solo record, Carry On, in stores May 1st. Additionally Cornell is permanently departing super-group Audioslave stating, “Due to irresolvable personality confl icts as well as musical differences, I am permanently leaving the band Audioslave. I wish the other three members nothing but the best in all of their future endeavors.”

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OZZFEST = FREE FEST!!! Imagine a day of wall-to-wall hard rock. Imagine the world’s greatest headliner sharing a bill with cutting edge new artists. Imagine if this brass-knuckled beast was hellbent on coming to your town. Imagine this earth-pounding event...FOR FREE. 2007, will forever mark the year OZZFEST spiked the concert industry’s punch and gave every head-banging American kid a reason to strap on an air guitar with the historic announcement that tickets to the summer.s premiere touring concert festival won’t cost fans a dime. San Antonio is on the list as a confi rmed city for the festival. Dates and a roster of bands is coming soon.

Green Day meet the Simpsons If you possess eagle-eye vision (or a super-slo-mo button,) you may have already been able to make out none other than Green Day in the just-released trailer for this summer’s “The Simpsons Movie.” The trio are shown performing on what looks to be a capsizing stage. A spokesperson for 20th Century Fox wouldn’t confi rm anything, but according to the band’s rep at Warner Bros./ Reprise, the band does appear in the fi lm and will even have a song featured. It’s not clear if the tune will be something written specifically for the Simpsons’ fl ick, which hits theaters July 27.

Adam D sidelined, asking for Jerky? Here is the official release by Adam himself. GREETINGS, MY CAPED METAL MINIONS! As some of you may already know, I will not be joining my bros in KsE for the current NO FEAR tour due to a wicked bunk back injury I sustained last tour. The quick deal is...I severely herniated another disc in my back, and if I didn’t get emergency surgery, I was risking the possibility of paralysis below the waist. I opted to get surgery instead of crapping my pants for all eternity. I think it was a sweet move. I would like to personally thank the KsE fans for all of the signs, chants, blogs, and love...it means a lot to a fat crippled retard like myself. Hopefully, I won’t be gone for too long. But, until my return, I will need all of your beef jerky for strength. Please send me all of your jerky to my “Jerky Across The World” Campaign, and together we will rally for good health through dried meat products. The No Fear tour will press on as scheduled, with Pat Lachman (Damage Plan)) fi lling in for Adam.

Please send donations to: The Adam D. Jerky Across The World Campaign c/o Mike Gitter Roadrunner Records 902 Broadway, 8th Floor New York, NY 10010



KRATOS IS IS BACK!!! BACK!!! KRATOS


God of War, far more ruthless than Aries ever was. To end his continued torment, Kratos must journey to the far reaches of the earth and defeat

setting new standard on the Playstation 2. And not just that, the game boasted a gameplay engine like no one had ever experienced. Create-

magical gifts from the god’s? DOUBLE CHECK!! If you’re a fan of the fi rst one you are sure to love this one with crazier monsters,

�����gripping storyline���������

Megabytes!

awesome gameplay���������������� ����������������emersive��������������� There’s just nothing like it����������

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Do you remember God of War? Yeah, you do. Don’t you remember back in 2005 the reason why you missed your classes for a week? Ot why you didn’t even bother showing up for work? Or hell, for those you who don’t go to school or have a job, the reason you told your mom you wanted to grow up to be a tormented spartan warrior who travels to Olympus to slay Aries. Oh now your remember. Well start getting those phony doctor’s excuses, 2 weeks notices, and your loin cloths and boots ready because, Kratos is back in God of War 2 exclusively on the Playstation 2, (SORRY X-BOX & 360 LOVERS!) launching worldwide officially March 13th. God of War saw Kratos, a mortal warrior, set upon an epic quest to dethrone a God. But his journey

did not end there. In God of War II, Kratos sits atop his Olympus throne, as the new

untold horrors and alter that which no mortal, or god has ever changed, his fate. God of War II sets an epic stage for a devastating mythological war to end all wars. Now if you were living under a rock for all of 2005 then you wouldn’t know that God of War showcased amazing graphics defi nitely

a-Combo, Progressive Scan Technology, all set in greatly detailed mythological environments, what more could a gamer ask for? How about scary monsters? CHECK! Crazy blades that you can swing and chop heads off with? CHECK! The coolest looking loin cloth that could rip Tarzan’s a NEW ONE? CHECK! How abou crazy

improvement on already almost fl awless gameplay engine, the ability to fl y! YES, I said it wings stolen from Icarus himself!, color magic, more brutal combos, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Go out to your favorite gaming retailer and buy/pre-order it today!

Kratos is fully endorsed by Thighmaster®





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