LWP postcards

“ . . . Oh no, Officer, it’s just Miss Brigham!”

“Were you and Alvin not matrimonially joined in matrimony?”

“Alvin was my brother!” She rubbed her fingers over her lips. “Now, why’ve you’ve got that idea into your head? If I’d matrimoned, d’you think I’d go for a lily-­‐breasted type like Alvin? I like my men to be solid. Y’know what I mean? I thought you’re well aware that Alvin was my big brother. You’ve been listening to too much gossip, Officer!”

“Excuse me there, Ma’am. I got in my head you were man and wife. ” “I don’t think you can marry your brother in this county, or can you?”

“No, Ma’am. I must’ve heard wrong. Sorry if I caused upset.”

“No offence taken. People may have gotten you confused, Officer. By the way, may I call you Rodney? I’m feeling kinda sensitive having lost both my dear brother and my wonderful father in such a very short space of time. I’m not used to a man standing in front of me no more here in my home.

“That’s okay with me, Ma’am.”

“Now, oh where’s my manners gone! Can I fix you a drink, Rodney? Oh, excuse me, no, you’re probably on duty.”

“True, Miss Brigham.”

“Hetty to you, Rodney. Well, maybe some other time? Just drop in whenever you’re passing. Don’t mind the dogs. Their bark is worse than their bite, or so they say!”

She watched him swagger the path; his gun stuck out sharp against the setting sun.

She swung open the refrigerator door and called the dogs from the yard. She stood back whilst they hounded in and devoured their meat from the shelves.

Two nights later, Officer Hatchet returned. This time he was dressed in slacks and a V-­‐neck. Hetty ushered him in and, later that night, after leaving her bed, he sneaked home to his wife. He enjoyed the ‘pot-­‐luck’ he’d been served. He was a good investigator.

One sad day, Officer Rodney Hatchet died in the most dreadfully grisly accident. He was found in Hetty’s bed; savaged so badly by the dogs that his poor widow did not recognize his body when she saw him lying there in the flesh, and blood.

After that, Officer Hatchet’s widow came to live with Hetty for the company. Together they went out hunting and decapitating all the snakes they could uncover from their travels around Las Animas County.

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