In addition to having a working knowledge of 2nd century disses, Dr. Bergen is a devout Christian. He believes God called him to this new position and that God had a reason for all of his previous work experience.
President for Planning,” according to an e-mail sent to the Greenville College community last Spring. Dr. Vickie “Ergonomic” Cook is also reclining into her new role of Associate Vice President of Innovation and Technology from her former position as Dean of the School of Education and Director of Online Learning. Many others have also seen promotions at Greenville this year, such as Dr. Brian Reinhard, a.k.a. “The Swiveler,” now Dean of the School of Education and Dr. Brian Hartley, a.k.a. “The Wicker Rocker,” the new Interim Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences. Lori “Amish-Made” Gaffner will assume the role of Dean of the Chapel and Director of Spiritual Formation. Christina “Label Not To Be Removed Except By Consumer” Smerick, philosophy professor and Shapiro Chair of Jewish Studies, is now assuming responsibility as the chair of the Religion Department.
“I have enjoyed the past few years working as Provost and will miss all of the faculty I worked with,” Bergen said. Bergen also sports a near-perfect record at Faculty Noon Chairs, an H.J. Long tradition often overshadowed by the longer standing, more notorious, and more shirtless Noon Ball. The president recalled all the great times he had working with fellow alumni and how he was very moved to hear so many of their stories. Though he will miss aspects of his former job, he is excited about his new role as Acting President. While “4 Legs” Bergen looks forward to his first year as Acting President, he is certainly not the only GC administrator settling into a new role. Though Bergen’s position of Provost was dissolved, the approximately equivalent position of Vice President of Academic Affairs opened in its stead for the 2012-13 musical chairs season. Filling this new position is Dr. S. Bradley Shaw, who on the court is known as “The Seat-tan of the Ottoman Empire.” Shaw, who earned his Ph.D. from University of Illinois at UrbanaChampaign, sports an impressive publications record in addition to his formidable musical chairs stats. Other big promotions happened as a result of the game. Some of these include Dr. Dave “Lumbar” Holden who will “become a faculty member and the director of our new Master of Arts in Education – Coaching program. He will also be the Associate Vice
No matter how big or small the promotion, be assured these musical chair players worked hard and played hard to get to the positions they now hold. Discerning God’s plan for your life is often difficult, so asking big questions like, “Where am I going in life?”, “Should I take this risk?”, and “Is it technically cheating to mosey toward the chairs just a litle bit early?” challenges people of all ages and from all backgrounds to act bravely.
These faculty members are all brave people, not to mention being in peak physical condition. They have earned their positions and the respect that rightly goes with them. If you see them around, be sure to congratulate them, wish them good luck, and if you’re lucky, maybe they’ll invite you to play the game of champions with them.
By Patrick Brown The Vista | 17
LIFE VIEW GCGC LIFE VIEW
were the stepping stones for my changes.” Provost, of course, is an old school diss of Latin origin: from prodoceo (lit. to teach openly) and voster (lit. you), with the approximate colloquial meaning of “I school you”, or in context, “I school you at musical chairs.” The title of Provost is the highest honor in the Illinois Synod of Musical Chair Players.