Christopher Heights Assisted Living, Marlborough: Our Stories, Our Lives by L Knoles

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! By!the!Members!of!the!Christopher*Heights*Marlboro*Writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;* Roundtable:!Mary!Akerman,!Pat!Ferretti,!Dorothy!Kennedy,! Michael!Shea,!Malcolm!Irving,!and!Sandra!Wallace! ! Lucia!Zaucha!Knoles,!Editor! ! !

Our$Stories,$Our$Lives!! Christopher!Heights!Northborough!Edition! ÂŠ!2013!by!Lucia!Zaucha!Knoles! ! ! ! ! All!rights!reserved.!!This!book!or!any!portion!thereof!may!not! be!reproduced!or!used!in!any!manner!whatsoever!without!the! express!permission!of!the!editor!except!for!the!use!of!brief! quotations!in!a!book!review.! ! ! ! ! Printed!in!the!United!States!of!America! ! ! ! The!Writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;!Roundtable! 63!Brownell!St.! Worcester,!MA!01602!

Table!of!Contents! ! Introduction!................................................................................................................................................................!7!

! MARY!AKERMAN!...................................................................................................................!13! Christmas!...........................................................................................................................................!14! My!Father!...........................................................................................................................................!16! The!Kitchen!.......................................................................................................................................!20! ! PAT!FERRETTI!.......................................................................................................................!27! Country!Visits!...................................................................................................................................!29! Food!Memories!of!Cutler!Elementary!School!........................................................................!32! My!Wish!..............................................................................................................................................!34! The!Grass!(Water)!Isn’t!Always!Greener!................................................................................!36! My!First!Job!.......................................................................................................................................!38! The!Summer!I!was!17:!1942SS!My!First!Love!!And!I!Thought!Last!..................................!40! From!One!City!to!Another!............................................................................................................!44! My!Father’s!Family!.........................................................................................................................!47! A!Lifetime!from!MissSSMa—MamaSSMama!Pat!......................................................................!57! Here!Today,!Gone!Tomorrow—Wait!For!Me!!.......................................................................!60! ! MALCOLM!HERMAN!..............................................................................................................!67! Childhood!Holidays!........................................................................................................................!69! My!Mother’s!Cooking!.....................................................................................................................!71! Samuel!Herman:!A!Man!of!Honor!..............................................................................................!73! School!Years!.....................................................................................................................................!77! First!Jobs!............................................................................................................................................!80! A!Teacher!Who!Went!the!Extra!Mile!........................................................................................!84! Memories!of!My!Brother!Irving!.................................................................................................!86! The!Love!of!My!Life!.........................................................................................................................!96! Family!Life!......................................................................................................................................!100! My!Life!as!a!Businessman!..........................................................................................................!104! My!Last!Dance!...............................................................................................................................!114! My!Four!Bright!Stars!...................................................................................................................!117! ! DOROTHY!KENNEDY!..........................................................................................................!123! My!Room!.........................................................................................................................................!125! Memories!of!Food!and!Family!.................................................................................................!126! School!Days!....................................................................................................................................!128! Turning!Point!................................................................................................................................!130! A!Gratitude!Letter!........................................................................................................................!132! Young!Love!.....................................................................................................................................!134! My!Parents!.....................................................................................................................................!136! My!Greatest!Sorrow!....................................................................................................................!138! My!Husband!...................................................................................................................................!141!

MICHAEL!SHEA!.....................................................................................................................!145! On!the!Porch!..................................................................................................................................!147! Christmastime!..............................................................................................................................!151! A!Mother’s!Work!..........................................................................................................................!154! My!Mother!......................................................................................................................................!155! The!Foods!of!Childhood!.............................................................................................................!160! A!Memorable!Teacher,!...............................................................................................................!161! Playing!Hooky!at!Scully!Square!...............................................................................................!163! My!First!Job!....................................................................................................................................!166! My!First!Date!.................................................................................................................................!167! Let’s!Go!!...........................................................................................................................................!169! My!Wedding!...................................................................................................................................!173! A!Memorable!Trip!to!California!..............................................................................................!175! My!Life!With!Knitting!Needles!.................................................................................................!179! ! Sandra!Wallace!....................................................................................................................!185! A!Day!with!Grandmother!Lillian!Wiles!.................................................................................!190! Mémé!and!the!Water!Hose!........................................................................................................!205! Brother!Dennis!and!the!Baked!Beans!...................................................................................!209! The!Little!Girl!Lost!.......................................................................................................................!214! Impressions!Made!During!the!First!Years!of!School!........................................................!221! First!Love!........................................................................................................................................!225! Time!Apart!.!.!.!For!Me!and!God!...............................................................................................!240! “Angels!on!Assignment”!.....................................................................................................................!241! “The!Grape!Lesson”!..............................................................................................................................!243! I!Know!Someone!Who!Can!Help!You:!A!Testimony!...............................................................!247! Mother!and!Me!..............................................................................................................................!253! A!Moment!in!Time:!December!23,!1994!...............................................................................!298! A!Legacy!for!My!Granddaughters!...........................................................................................!301!

“The stories people tell have a way of taking care of them. If stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive. That is why we put these stories in each other's memories. This is how people care for themselves. ” ― Barry Lopez, Crow and Weasel

The!Christopher!Heights!Marlboro!Writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;!Roundtable:! (clockwise,0left0to0right)!Sandra!Wallace,!Stasha,!Pat! Ferretti,!Malcolm!Irving,!Mike!Shea,!and!Dorothy!Kennedy.!

Introduction* !

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Figure 1Lucia Knoles with Her Parents Bridget and Joe Zaucha at Dinner at an Assisted Living Residence

! My!father!never!left!a!restaurant!without!knowing! the!life!story!of!the!person!who!had!waited!on!him.!At! one!restaurant!he’d!point!to!the!young!waiter!hovering! nearby!and!explain,!“When!he!was!just!a!baby,!his!dad! died!in!that!famous!West!Virginia!mining!disaster.”!At! another,!he’d!greet!the!Cambodian!waitress!with!the! question,!“Win!any!money!on!your!vacation!at!Atlantic! City!last!week?”! Like!children!everywhere,!I!was!embarrassed!by! my!father’s!behavior,!and!that!remained!true!long!after!I! 7

was!no!longer!a!child.!!And!the!exchange!of!life!stories! with!waiters!and!waitresses!was!only!a!warm!up,! because!as!he’d!hobble!with!his!cane!to!the!men’s!room! he!would!pause!a!each!booth!and!have!a!short! conversation!with!the!people!there,!whether!he!knew! them!or!not.!And!at!each!of!his!stops,!I!would!sink!a! little!lower!into!my!seat.!!!! “Everybody!has!a!story,”!my!dad!would!say!after! each!encounter.!!And!he!was!determined!to!know!them! all.!!What!was!it,!I!wondered,!that!fueled!my!father’s! determination!to!collect!the!world’s!stories!one!person! at!a!time?! You’d!think!I!would!have!known.!!After!all,! although!collecting!life!stories!was!my!father’s!hobby,!it! was!my!vocation.!!While!he!was!busy!running!trucking! companies,!I!was!making!my!living!teaching!students! how!to!read!and!write!stories.!!! But!it!has!only!been!in!the!past!few!years!as!I’ve! dealt!with!the!decline!and!death!of!my!parents!that!I’ve! really!begun!to!understand!down!to!my!bones!the!ways!

in!which!stories!help!us!deal!with!what!it!means!to!live,! love,!and!experience!loss.!It!was!only!as!my!parents’! began!to!lose!their!stories!that!I!began!to!see!just!how! important!stories!are.! Although!it!was!Alzheimer’s!that!stole!my!mother’s! story;!my!father!felt!he!lost!his!story!when!he!was! forced!by!my!mother’s!condition!and!his!own!health! problems!into!an!assisted!living!residence.!!Once! recognized!everywhere!he!went!as!a!successful!retired! executive,!the!owner!of!a!distinctive!home,!a!man!who! played!the!violin!at!Mass!and!weddings,!and!a!regular!at! the!racetrack,!my!father!suddenly!felt!reduced!to!the! status!of!a!nameless!old!man!who!needed!help!putting! his!stockings!on.!!Each!morning!he!would!call!me!with! the!same!sad!statement:!!“I!have!no!purpose!in!life.”!!It! was!a!terrible!conversation!with!which!to!begin!each! day.! So!one!morning!I!was!ready!for!him!with!a!list.!! “Here!are!ten!projects!we!could!do!together.!!Pick!one.”!! He!chose!to!work!with!me!to!begin!an!autobiographya

writing!group!at!his!assisted!living!residence,!and!that! was!the!beginning!of!the!rest!of!my!life.! For!the!last!six!months,!I!have!had!the!profound! pleasure!of!spending!my!Thursday!mornings!with!the! members!of!the!Christopher!Heights!Marlboroughough! Writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;!Roundtable:!Pat!Ferretti,!Malcolm!Herman,! Dorothy!Kennedy,!Mike!Shea,!and!Sandra!Wallace.!!For! our!initial!sessions,!we!also!enjoyed!the!company!of! Mary!Akerman!and!Jackie!Moore.!!Together!we!have! read!and!discussed!stories!written!by!famous!writers.!! More!importantly,!the!members!read!aloud!stories!read! theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d!written!based!on!their!own!lives.! I!will!always!remember!the!conversations!we!have! shared!in!the!second!floor!dining!room.!!It!is!rare!to!find! a!group!of!people!so!willing!to!risk!telling!the!truth!and! so!ready!to!listen!to!one!another!in!a!deep!way.!!And! their!passion!for!learning!would!put!any!college!student! to!shame.!!I!can!honestly!say!that!Pat,!Malcolm,!Dot,! Mike,!and!Sandra!have!made!Thursday!mornings!one!of! the!high!points!of!my!week.!!!

Although!some!of!the!stories!in!this!book!are!happy! and!others!are!sad,!all!of!them!share!a!common!theme.!! The!lives!of!these!writers!have!not!always!been!easy,! but!each!of!these!individuals!remains!ready!to!find!ways! to!celebrate!joy,!move!beyond!suffering,!and!testify!to! the!enduring!power!of!love.!!Pat,!Malcolm,!Dot,!Mike,! and!Sandra!have!poured!into!this!work!the!stories!of! their!lives!in!the!hope!that!this!book!will!express!the! deep!love!they!feel!for!their!friends!and!family! members.!!And!I’m!sure!that!will!come!across!to!all!who! read!this!edition!of!Our$Stories,$Our$Lives.!!! I!hope!these!stories—and!these!people—will! inspire!you!as!they!have!inspired!me.! ! Yours,! ! Lucia!Knoles! Professor!of!English! Assumption!College!

THE PRINCIPLES OF THE WRITERS’ ROUNDTABLE ! ! • Everyone!has!a!story!to!tell.! ! • Everyone!deserves!to!have!his!or!her!story!heard.! ! • By!exploring!our!stories,!we!gain!in!understanding.! ! • By!writing!our!stories,!we!continue!to!learn.! ! • By!telling!our!stories,!we!gain!respect.! ! • By!exchanging!our!stories,!we!build!a!community.! ! • By!passing!on!our!stories,!we!give!a!priceless!legacy! to!our!loved!ones!that!only!we!can!give.! ! !

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! MARY!AKERMAN!

Christmas! By!Mary!Akerman! !

I!think!I!was!about!seven!or!eight,!I!remember! particularly!one!Christmas!because!I!wanted!a!doll.!!A! particular!doll.!! My!parents,!well!I!guess! they!were!poor,!but!I!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t! know!it!at!that!time.!!So!my! mother!got!an!old!doll!and!she! cleaned!her!face!with!cold! cream!and!brought!her!to! Boston!and!bought!a!new!wig! for!her.!And!then!she!made!a! whole!outfit!with!a!little!winter!coat!that!was!mine!and! she!turned!it!inside!out!and!used!the!material!and!lined! it!with!fur.!!! !

It!was!beautiful.!!Better! than!anything!she!could! have!bought!me.!!And!when! I!saw!it!under!the!Christmas! tree!I!was!beside!myself.!!! ! She!was!like!that,!my! mother.!!She!would!go!great! lengths!to!make!you!happy.!! And!I!think!what!you!learn! at!your!motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!knee!sticks! with!you!your!whole!life.!!!

My!Father!!

by!Mary!Akerman!

father!was!the!authority!in!our!house.!!!Not!in!an! unkind!way:!he!just!expected!that!we!all!would!follow! the!rules!and!behave!ourselves.!But!he!was!always!there! to!listen!if!you!had!a!problem!or! a!question.!And!he!was!always! there!to!help!you!out.!!! On!the!weekends,!my!father! would!always!buy!groceries!with! my!mother!and!take!them!to!my! grandmother,!because!she!had! these!three!sons!who!weren't! working!regularly.!I!think!very!often!she!wouldn't!have! had!anything!to!eat!on!a!Saturday!night!if!my!folks! hadn't!brought!groceries!to!her.!So!even!though!they! didn't!have!a!lot!themselves!my!parents!always!shared! with!the!people!in!the!family!who!needed!help.!!

My!friends!and!my!brother's!friends!were!always! welcome!at!the!house.!My!father!loved!to!have!all!the! kids!at!the!house,!so!we!congregated!there.!!My!father! was!always!a!presence!when!he!wasn't!working.!He'd!be! there,!not!interfering,!but!he!just!enjoyed!all!the!kids! and!whatever!we!were!doing.! He!drove!a!truck,!a!semiatrailer.!He!only!had!a!high! school!education!but!he!was!very!into!education!for!my! brother!and!I.!He!was!a!very!bright!and!wonderful!man.! All!my!life!I!wanted!to!be!a!nurse,!and!then!I!went! into!nurse's!training!to!find!it!wasn't!for!me.!He!was!so! proud!that!I!got!my!cap!and!was!on!my!way,!as!he! thought.!And!then!I!called!and!said,!“I!can't!do!this.”!But! he!let!me!come!home,!even!though!he!was!disappointed,! and!then!sent!me!to!secretarial!school!the!next!year!so! I'd!have!an!occupation.!It!was!hard!for!him,!I!think.!He! never!said!a!word,!but!I!knew!how!much!he!wanted!this! for!me.!He!would!always!say!to!my!poor!mother,!who! had!been!nursing!people!for!years,!“We'll!wait!and!see! what!Mary!says,”!and!I!think!my!mother!found!that!hard!

to!understand.!I!think!he!thought!that!was!a!very! worthy!calling,!and!I!had!talked!about!it!for!years,!how!I! wanted!to!be!a!nurse.!I!had!them!all!convinced!until!I! found!out!it!really!wasn't!for!me.! My!father!never!touched!a!drop!of!liquor!ever!in!his! life,!not!even!at!my!wedding.!But!he!was!very!patient! with!my!mother's!brothers,!who!were!all!alcoholics,!and! he!tried!to!help!each!of!them!in!a!different!way!but!it! didn't!work.!He'd!straighten!them!out!for!a!week!or!so! but!as!soon!as!they!got!a!paycheck!they'd!hit!the!liquor! store!and!that!would!be!the!end!of!it.!But!I!was!always! amazed!that!my!father!could!be!so!patient!when!he!was! so!different!from!them.! What!I!learned!from!my!father!was!patience.!He! was!a!very!patient!person.!Very!patient!with!my!uncles,! and!patient!with!the!family,!and!very!often!I'm!sure!it! frustrated!him!because!he!didn't!think!the!way!they! thought.!Just!the!immediate!pleasure!was!all!that! mattered!to!them!rather!than!longaterm!goals.!But!even! at!the!time!I!think!we!knew!it!wasn't!something!they!

could!help.!But!it's!hard!to!be!understanding!when! they're!wreaking!havoc!with!your!life.! !

The!Kitchen! By!Mary!Akerman! ! The!kitchen!was!the!most!important!room!in!the! house!because!that’s!where!the!family!congregated! when!I!was!growing!up.!!That!was!the!central!point,! probably!because!in!the!winter!it!was!warm!and!in!the! summer!it!was!probably!cooler!in!the!back!of!the!house.! !!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! We!played!games!there—Parcheesi!and! Monopoly—and!also!listened!to!the!radio.!Trying!to! think!what!we!listened!to!beside!the!war!news.!!I! remember!they!wouldn’t!let!me!listen!to!the!shadow!

because!I!had!dreams!about!it.!!So!they!made!me!go!to! bed.!!I!think!“Ma!Perkins”!and!the!soap!opera!things! were!on,!but!they!were!in!the!daytime.!!Maybe!“Amos! and!Andy.”!!I!can’t!remember!listening!to!music,! although!there!may!have!been!and!I!don’t!remember!it.!! When!went!to!war,!we!all!gathered!every!night!to!hear! what!was!going!to!be!said!on!the!news!broadcasts!about! how!the!war!was!going!in!Europe!and!in!Japan.!!! My!father!was!not!usually!there!because!he!worked! nights!and!was!usually!sleeping.!But!my!mother!and!my! brother!and!I!were!there.!!! My!mother!was!very!ill!when!I!was!growing!up.!! She!had!a!double!mastoid!operation!and!almost!died.!! And!when!she!came!back!from!the!hospital!she!was! very!frail.!!So!by!the!time!she!made!dinner,!and!we!all! helped!clean!up!the!dishes,!she!was!ready!to!sit!down! and!relax.!!She!would!supervise!what!was!going!on,!but! she!didn’t!participate!a!lot.!! My!grandmother!raised!my!cousin!who!was! thirteen!days!younger!than!me.!!They!lived!not!far!away!

so!they!would!walk!over!after!dinner!and!visit.!!My! cousinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!mother!died!in!childbirth.!!She!was!married!to! my!motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!brother,!and!he!had!a!good!job!and!was! very!responsible!when!married!to!this!woman.!!But! when!she!died,!he!just!lost!it.!!He!became!an!alcoholic! and!lost!his!job!and!defaulted!all!the!way!around.!!So!my! grandmother!ended!up!bringing!up!my!cousin! ! My!cousin!played!games! with!us!and!her!father!had! bought!her!paper!dolls!that! were!the!Dionne!quintuplets.!!I! was!so!jealous;!I!wanted!those! paper!dolls!in!the!worst!ways.! It!was!an!ongoing!battle.!!She!would!bring!them!over! and!let!me!play!with!them!but!then!take!them!home! again.!!A!few!years!ago!she!found!paper!dolls! somewhere!and!bought!them!and!sent!them!to!me.!We! cut!out!all!the!clothes!and!dressed!them!and!would! pretend!they!were!going!someplace,!to!school!or!a!

movie,!and!then!bring!them!all!home!again!and!undress! them.!! ! We!went!on!until!we!were!much!too!old!to!be! playing!with!paper!dolls.!!I!remember!once!we!were! playing!with!the!paper!dolls!and!a!boy!we!werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!to! school!to!deliver!the!groceries!and!we!had!to!run!and! hid!the!paper!dolls!because!we!were!much!too!old!to!be! playing!paper!dolls.!!But!I!think!it!was!good.!!We!were! innocent.!!We!had!another!cousin!who!was!into!boys,! and!I!think!we!were!better!off!with!our!paper!dolls.!!

My!family!always!had!tea!at!ten!o’clock!at!night.!! My!mother!and!grandmother!were!from!Canada,!and! that!was!the!custom.!!My!grandmother!made!a!real!fuss! about!this!ten!o’clock!tea!time.!!She!would!set!the!table! with!good!dishes!and!linen,!and!she’d!have!cookies!and! Irish!bread!or!cake.!!We!didn’t!need!it!of!course,!but! they!always!had!some!little!goodie!to!go!with!the!tea.!!

! And!it!always!had!to!be!Red!Rose!Tea!because! that’s!from!Canada.!!My!mother!was!so!funny,!when!she! was!ordering!the!groceries,!she’d!say:!“Red!Rose!tea,!

and!any!kind!of!coffee.”!!Because!the!coffee!was!for!my! father.!!! Then!after!the!tea!we!sat!around!to!talk!and!then! did!the!dishes,!and!so!it!was!eleven!o’clock!or!eleven! thirty!when!we!went!to!bed.!!But!we!actually!didn’t! need!it!if!you!think!about!it.!!If!you’ve!had!a!good!dinner,! you!don’t!need!eleven!o’clock!tea—especially!now!that! I’m!on!fluid!pills!I!don’t!need!any!extra!tea.!!

! ! ! !

! ! ! ! PAT!FERRETTI!

Country!Visits! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! Looking!back!to!my!early!teens!I!think!about!going!to!the! country!to!visit!my!Aunt!and!Uncle!and!their!daughter!a!year! older!than!me.!!My!Auntie!Eve,!Uncle!Mel,!and!Margo.! !I!always!looked!so!forward!to!those!visits.!!Uncle!Mel! would!pick!me!up!on!a!Friday!afternoon,!I’d!be!sitting!looking! out!the!window!waiting!for!him.!!He!would!stop!and!shop!on! the!way!home—Auntie!Eve!did!not!drive.!!! They!lived!in!a!pretty!white!house.!!Marge!would!still!be! in!school!when!I!got!there!so!it!was!early!in!the!day,!and!I! would!walk!up!to!meet!her!at!the!little!red!school!house.!! Auntie!Eve!would!be!cooking.!!She!was!a!great!cook!and!she! was!beautiful.!!She!always!greeted!me:!!“Oh,!you!have!grown!so! tall!”!!! The!house!had!a!garden!in!the!back.!!I!woke!up!in!the! morning!and!she!would!be!up!working!in!the!garden.!!I!can!see! her!now.!!I!just!loved!them!all.!!On!Friday!or!Saturday!Uncle! Mel!would!take!us!downtown,!and!we!would!always!buy!a! movie!star!book,!and!go!home!and!cut!out!our!favorite!movie! stars!and!paste!them!in!a!note!book!we!had.!!!

I!so!often!think!of!those!days!and!how!I!loved!going!up! country!and!how!good!they!were!to!me.!!Oh!for!those!happy! times!!

Foods!from!Childhood! ! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! Although!my!mother!came!here!from!England!our! food!was!very!much!the!same!as!here.!!I!was!an!only! child—meals!were!hardy.!!A!roast!on!Sunday!left!over! on!Monday!always!fish!on!Friday,!hot!dogs!and!beans!on! Saturday.!!I!used!to!carry!a!blue!lunch!box!to!school!and! sometimes!ate!school!lunch.!!We!never!went!out!to!eat! except!to!friends’!houses.!But!not!often.!!I!remember!a! black!frying!pan!where!she!fried!fish!and!fried!tomato! slices.!!We!never!had!salads!or!spaghetti—had!lamb! often,!inexpensive!cuts!of!meat,!the!depression!years.!! Hardy,!but!not!fancy.!!Except!if!we!had!company!we! always!ate!in!the!kitchen!on!Sundays,!then!always!had! Sunday!dinner!around!one.!!I!was!always!anxious!to!eat! and!go!to!my!girlfriend’s!house.!!!I!would!always!ask,! “When!is!dinner!going!to!be!ready?”!!And!I!always!got! the!same!answer:!!“When!it’s!ready.”!

Food!Memories!of!Cutler!Elementary!School!! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! I!loved!elementary!school!and!teachers.!!In! Kindergarten!my!teacher!was!Miss!Lamb.!!We!all!had! mats!and!would!have!a!nap!–!play!outside!–and!right! around!the!corner!fron!the!school!the!way!to!school! would!pass!a!little!candy!store!with!rows!of!jars!where! you!could!buy!penny!candy:!Necco!Wafers,!and!Tootsie! Rolls,!strips!of!paper!with!pastel!colored!dots.!!If!your! mint!had!a!pink!center!instead!of!a!white!one!you!got!an! extra!candy.!! Grades!1!–!6!our!desks! had!inkwells,!big!side! drawers!to!keep!our!papers! and!books:!!“Dick!and!Jane.”!! And!there!were!Wonder! Books!and!you!could!buy!for! a!quarter!that!had!Nurse!! Nancy!and!Doctor!Dan.!

! I!remember!when!I!was!in!4th!grade!I!had!to!have! an!ankle!operation!and!was!in!the!hospital!from! December!3!to!January!17th!in!a!ward!at!Mass!General! Hospital.!!I!was!the!youngest!in!the!ward.!!The!operation! came!out!fine.!!I!used!to!have!liver!to!eat!and!hated!it.!!! Teacher!Miss!Patterson!was!so!kind.!She!would! send!work!home!for!me,!and!my!mother!would!bring!it! to!the!hospital.!!When!I!returned!to!school,!Mr.!Knight! and!Miss!Andrews!were!the!principal!and!vice!principal! and!would!let!me!now!and!then!ring!bells!when!school! was!overâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;I!felt!real!grown!up.!!! We!walked!to!and!from!school!in!all!weather!but! we!made!it.!!Walked!to!junior!high,!and!took!the! streetcar!to!high!school.!!The!year!I!graduated,!1942,! 1,000!pupils!graduated.!!I!enjoyed!school!and!was!on! the!honor!roll!but!was!anxious!to!get!on!with!my!life.!! Jobs!were!almost!impossible!to!find!in!1942!but!I!had! friend!in!an!insurance!company!that!got!me!in!where!I! worked!until!1947!when!I!was!married.!

My!Wish! by#Pat#Ferretti# # When!I!was!ten!years!old!my!auntaamy!mother’s! sister—came!from!England!to!visit,!and!I!loved!her! stories!about!England.!I!always!wanted!to!visit!family! there!but!never!did!and!had!to!be!satisfied!with!stories.!! My!mother!came!to!this!country!in!1916!planning!to!go! back!to!England,!met!my!father!here,!and!didn’t!return! for!27!years.!!I!was!born!in!1924.!!My!aunt!worked!as! domestic!help!and!was!here!six!years.!!My!mother!was! one!of!12!children!and!lived!200!miles!from!London!in! Gloustershire!farm!country;!the!pictures!I!saw!were! beautiful.!!! My!reason!for!going!to!visit!was!to!have!a!little! piglet!of!my!own.!!My!aunt!used!to!tell!me!stories!about! all!the!little!piglets!and!that!was!my!desire.!!I!enjoyed! her!visits!and!they!ended!all!too!soon!for!me.!!I!was!an! only!child!and!had!lots!of!dreams.!She!was!the!only!one! in!my!mother’s!family!I!ever!met.!!!

As!years!went!on!my!motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!family!slowly!went! one!by!one.!!Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d!get!another!letter!that!someone!else! had!died,!and!she!would!be!so!sad.!!! But!after!22!years!she!did!return,!the!first!time!by! boat,!and!after!that!when!she!visited!she!flew.!!She! always!went!to!Ascot!Races!and!saw!the!Queen!there.!! She!missed!England!and!family!there!but!agreed! America!was!so!modern!and!I!was!here!and!this!was!her! life!now.!!She!lived!to!be!91.!!My!father!had!died.!!She! left!at!that!time!4!grandchildren,!one!great!grandchild,!a! daughter!and!husband.! !

The!Grass!(Water)!Isn’t!Always!Greener! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! Almost!every!Sunday!while!in!my!teens!on!a! Sunday!morning!I!would!stop!by!my!friend!Jean’s!house! and!we!would!go!to!the!Episcopal!Church!for!Sunday! School!and!Church.!!One!Sunday!we!decided!to!go!to!the! Baptist!Church!out!of!curiosity!not!so!much!for!their! services!but!to!check!out!the!minister’s!son.!!He!was! quite!handsome.!!We!didn’t!realize!that!Sunday!was! welcoming!new!members.!!We!noticed!as!we!sat!in!the! church!behind!the!altar!a!long!window!covered!by!a! shade.!!! After!a!short!service!they!invited!any!new! members!to!come!forward.!!A!few!people!did.!When! they!pulled!the!shade!back!there!was!a!long!(it!looked! like!a)!bath!tub—where!they!would!submerge!you! under!water!and!baptize!you.!!We!nudged!each!other.!! That!made!up!our!minds!that!it!wasn’t!for!us.!!The! minister’s!son!was!not!that!interesting!and!we’d!stay!

Episcopal,!which!my!family!and!I!had!been!as!their! families!before!them.!!! On!our!way!home!we!passed!a!small!lake!called!the! red!and!green,!with!children!swimming.!!One!half!was! for!white!children!and!one!half!for!black,!which!puzzled! us.!!Why!couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!they!all!swim!together?!!That!was!our! different!Sunday!and!our!experience!of!being!in!a! Baptist!Church!for!a!few!short!hours.! ! !

My!First!Job! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! The!summer!before!I!graduated!I!had!my!first!job! and!felt!so!grown!up!making!money!on!my!own.!!My! home!was!a!doctor’s!office:!a!Dr.!Sena’s!secretary!was! going!on!vacation,!and!he!asked!me!if!I!would!like!to! answer!the!phone!and!write!down!appointments!while! she!was!away.!!(He!was!also!the!same!doctor!that!sent! me!into!Boston!for!my!ankle!operation!all!those!years! before.)!!I!jumped!at!the!chance,!and!I!enjoyed!it— especially!making!my!own!money.!!! The!first!thing!I!bought!was!a! pair!of!Thom!McAn’s!shoes.!!At!that! time!if!you!bought!a!pair!of!shoes! you!got!a!mechanical!clock.!! (Fortunately,!I!already!had!used! another!mechanical!clock!and!was! used!to!the!sound!of!its!“tick!.!.!.!tick!.!.!.!tick.)!!I!thought! then!and!there,!“When!I!get!a!real!job,!I’m!going!to!buy!a!

new!pair!of!shoes!every!pay!day.”!!But!of!course,!I!never! did.!!Second!week,!an!orchid!blouse.!!I!remember!it!well.!! It!wasn’t!only!getting!my!own!money!but!also!a!feeling! of!independence,!which!was!wonderful.!!! !

! I!was!hoping!his!secretary!wouldn’t!come!back!all! summer,!but!alas,!all!good!things!come!to!an!end.!!She! did.!!And!that!was!the!end!of!my!shopping!spree.! ! !! !

The!Summer!I!was!17:!1942VV!My!First!Love!! And!I!Thought!Last!

!By!Pat!Ferretti!

A!lot!goes!on!in!your!life!but!somehow!you!never! forget!your!first!love.!!It!happened!so!many!years!ago.!!I! met!a!boy!in!Weymouth.!!I!lived!in!Somerville!and!had! gone!to!visit!my!friend!in!Weymouth!not!realizing!this! trip!would!change!my!life!for!a!happier!one.!!She! introduced!me!to!a!boy!she!knew!and!he!asked!me!out,! and!that!was!the!start!of!my!first!romance.!!! I!worked!in!Boston!at!the!time!and!could!take!the! train!from!Back!Bay!to!Weymouth.!!He!lived!near!the! railroad!station,!and!I!could!take!the!train!when!I! visited.!!His!dad!worked!for!a!car!agency,!so!when!he! visited!me!he!was!able!to!borrow!a!car!or!drive!to! Somerville!to!see!me.!!! He!was!good!looking!and!dressed!well.!!The!cars! that!he!drove!were!stylish.!!He!was!the!same!religion!as! meâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which!pleased!my!mother.!!And!he!was!very!

romantic.!!I!can!remember!once!he!said!that!he!wished! we!were!older!so!that!we!could!plan!for!our!future.!!! All!the!things!you!hear!about!your!first!romance!in! my!case!came!true.!!Life!was!wonderful.!!We!went!to!our! proms!together,!which!was!really!special.!!We!also!went! to!movies,!and!dances.!!He!lived!in!a!big!house!his!folks! took!in!Boarders!that!worked!at!Fore!River!Ships!Yard! just!to!board.!!Two!years!into!our!friendship!he!went! into!the!marines.!!His!mother!called!me!one!night.!!He! was!stationed!in!North!Carolina.!!! But!Fate!stepped!in.!!I!met!my!husbandatoabe!on!a! street!car.!!A!friend!introduced!me.!!We!worked!for!the! same!company.!!I!met!him!in!1943.!!He!was!olderaaa more!mature.!!He!had!been!discharged!from!the!army! early!on!as!a!medical!discharge.!!This!really!was!it.!! When!my!first!love!came!to!visit!me!when!he!was!on! leave,!I!told!him!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d!met!someone!else.! My!TRUE!love!and!I!got!engaged!in!1946!and! married!in!September!1947.!But!we!did!have!a!problem.!! I!was!an!only!child,!and!my!mother!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!happy.!!My!

husbandatoabe!was!five!years!older!and!an!Italian! Catholic!!Later!on,!I!found!a!picture!of!my!first!love!in! my!motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!wallet!but!never!one!of!my!husband.!!But! she!lived!with!us!for!18!years!and!came!to!love!him.!!! We!had!4!beautiful!children!and!a!wonderful!life! together.!!But!as!I!wrote,!you!never!forget!your!first!love! completely!or!those!happy!carefree!years.! !

!From!One!City!to!Another! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! 1942.!!I!graduated!from!High!School!on!June!17th— over!1,000!students!wearing!the!colors!red!and!white! on!a!very!hot!day.!!And!then!off!to!the!big!city— Boston—to!American!Mutual!Insurance!near!the!Statler! Hotel.!!! ! ! ! !

I!was!lucky!to!find!a!job!in!1942.!!I!started!in!the! mail!room!and!worked!my!way!up!in!five!years!to!the!

switchboard!and!reception!desk!on!the!2nd!and!5th! floor.!!My!husbandatoabe!worked!for!the!same!insurance! company!but!in!a!different!building—he!had!just!gotten! out!of!the!service!on!a!medical!discharge.!!Every!year! the!company!had!a!big!summer!picnic!but!in!1942!it! decided!to!be!a!play:!!“Let’s!Be!Friendly.”!!Both!of!us! were!in!it.!!They!brought!a!producer!from!New!York.!!It! was!so!much!fun!and!very!successful.!!We!traveled!to! USO!camps.! In!1944,!I!left!AMLICO!and!went!to!work!for! Hawkins!Co.!Furniture!taking!orders!and!working!on! the!phone.!!!I!loved!it.! I!was!engaged!in!1946!and!married!in!1947.!!There! again,!everything!was!hard!to!get.!!We!finally!got!an! apartment!in!Medford!and!lived!there!until!we!bought! our!first!home!in!Lexington.!!I!had!my!first!daughter!in! 1949,!moved!to!Easton!in!1954!and!lived!there!for!25! years.!!All!were!happy!years—and!a!lot!of!happy! memories.! !

! 46

My!Father’s!Family! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! My!father’s!family—his!mother!Margerite,!Father! William,!My!father,!John,!his!brothers!James,!Irving,!and! William!were!born!in!the!Orangeman!Protestant!section! of!Ireland.!!He!also!had!four!sisters,!all!born!in!this! country:!!Sadie,!who!had!two!daughters,!Pearl!and! Florence;!Sister!Anne!who!had!Irving!and!Doris;!Sister! Marion,!who!had!Milos!and!Priscilla;!Sister!Margerite! who!had!a!son!by!the!name!of!Frederick.!!My! grandmother!and!grandfather!lived!with!my!Auntie! Anne!in!Melrose.!!When!we!visited,!my!Auntie!Anne!had! a!player!piano!and!we!used!to!love!to!play!it.!!Mother! times!we!would!play!cards!and!Fred!and!Rick!(I!always! told!him!we!were!the!same!age)!would!jump!on!the!bed! where!hats!(then!men!wore!hats)!and!coats!were,!which! didn’t!make!us!very!popular.!!And!his!brother!William! who!had!three!boys.!!I!was!the!flower!girl!when!he!and! his!wife!Margaret!were!married.!!!

My!mother!and!father!were!married!in!1922.!!She!came! over!from!England!in!1919,!and!I!was!born!at!Melrose! Hospital!on!March!10,!1924.!!We!lived!in!Dorchester! and!then!moved!to!Somerville!when!he!was!transferred! to!Amrad!radio,!which!today!is!Cousins!Gym,!part!of! Tufts!College.!!First!radio,!then!Amrad!radio,!then!the! depression.!!He!lost!his!job!and!was!out!of!work!eight! years.!My!mother!sewed!and!eventually!he!got!a!job!as! custodian!in!Somerville!School!and!then!he!retired.!!! He!was!also!an!alcoholic.!!He!never!drank!until!his! late!thirties!and!the!depression!came.!!I!think!it!killed! his!spirit.!!And!I!always!tried!to!make!my!mother!happy.!! I!was!always!wishing!my!parents!could!do!nice!things! like!go!out!to!the!movies!like!the!parents!of!my! classmates!did.!!Instead,!for!all!the!years!I!can! remember!growing!up!my!father!was!never!physically! abusive!but!he!was!always!going!out!drinking.!!And!then! he!would!come!home!and!into!my!room,!talking!in!a! rambling!fashion.!!And!I!was!always!afraid!he!would! start!to!do!something!worse.!!Was!he!the!way!he!was!!

! 49

because!of!her,!or!was!she!the!way!she!was!because!of! him?!!Or!was!it!all!the!depression?!!I’ve!wondered!and! talked!about!it!to!everybody.!!But!I!guess!I’ll!never! know.! My!parents!lived!in!Lexington!at!that!point—I!was! married!then.!!My!father!had!cancer!of!the!jaw!and!died! at!Pondville!Hospital!in!January!1955!when!he!was!65! years!old.!!My!mother!then!came!and!lived!with!me!and! my!family!until!she!went!into!a!retirement!home!in! Brockton.! !

Memories!of!Candy! ! by!Pat!Ferretti! ! One!of!the!people!I!most!admired!was!a!charming! and!gorgeous!woman.!!Her!maiden!name!was!Margaret! Candito,!but!her!husband!nicknamed!her!Candy,!and! Candy!she!was!to!everyone—even!to!my!children!who! usually!called!our!friends!Mr.!and!Mrs.!She!was!my! neighbor,!my!friend,!only!five!feet!high,!and!a! paraplegic.! When!she!was!four,!it!was!a!very!hot!day!and!she! and!her!brother!filled!up!a!bathtub!with!very!cold!water! and!got!in.!!And!he!was!fine.!!But!the!next!day!she! couldn’t!walk.!!She!never!walked!again.!It!was!polio.!! Back!at!that!time,!you!couldn’t!go!in!the!water!before! July!because!polio!was!prevalent,!and!they!thought!the! water!caused!it.!!She!was!in!an!iron!lung,!and!then! graduated!to!leg!braces!and!two!canes.!!And!from!that! point!on,!you!name,!she!did!it.! In!1954,!when!we!moved!to!Easton,!MA,!my! daughter!Judy!was!in!first!grade,!Warren!was!4!and! 52

Janice!was!1!year.!!Our!new!home!was!almost!ready!to! move!into!on!Tyson!Road,!when!another!family!had! moved!in!a!short!time!ahead!of!us:!a!husband,!wife,!and! son!the!same!age!as!mine.!!We!were!driving!past!their! house!as!they!were!coming!out,!and!they!came!over!to! the!car!and!introduced!themselves.!We!became!fast! friends,!and!that!continued!for!over!50!years.! In!the!years!we!lived!in!Easton!together,!I’d!walk! over!to!her!house,!knock!on!the!door,!and!say,!“It’s!me.”!! No!matter!what!time!it!was,!she!was!always!pleased!to! see!you.!!She’d!stop!her!vacuuming!and!give!you!a!cup!of! tea!and!we’d!talk!about!the!people!we!knew.!!She! entertained!beautifully.!!And!when!you!invited!them!for! cocktails!and!dinner,!they’d!always!be!the!first!ones! there.! She!was!a!beautiful!housekeeper;!her!house! sparkled.!!She!even!cleaned!keyholes.!!!She!did!all!her! own!housework!upstairs!and!ironed!in!the!basement.!! Her!husband!carried!the!ironing!upstairs.!!When!she! was!a!child!and!the!youngest!of!8!children,!her!mother!

had!taught!Candy!to!do!the!ironing!so!that!she!wouldn’t! be!idle!because!of!her!disability.!!So!she!had!been! responsible!for!ironing!all!her!brothers’!shirts!and!she! did!that!as!well!as!everything—to!perfection.! ! But!she!wasn’t!all!work!and!no!play.!!She!had!a! little!red!sports!car!that!she!loved!and!she!operated!it! hand!controls.!!She!enjoyed!the!independence!it!gave! her.!!Most!of!the!time!in!the!summer,!she’d!drive!over!to! the!swimming!pool!at!the!Carlton!House!Motel,!and! that’s!where!you’d!find!her.!! Even!though!I!moved!away!after!my!husband!died,! our!families!still!stayed!in!touch.!!In!fact,!she!gave!one!of! my!daughters!her!wedding!shower.!!And!my!son!was! usher!when!her!son!was!married!and!my!youngest! daughter!was!a!bridesmaid!for!her!daughter.! One!minus—she!was!a!smoker!and!couldn’t!stop.!! Eventually!she!got!lung!cancer.!I!went!to!see!her!when! she!was!in!the!hospital!and!told!her!I!loved!her.!I’m!so! glad!I!got!to!do!that.!!Her!family!knew!she!was!going!to!

die,!and!so!they!brought!her!home.!!They!let!her!sip! Coors!beer!from!a!straw.!!At!the!funeral!her!children! read,!“You!were!our!hero.”!There!wasn’t!a!dry!eye!in!the! church.! !

! 56

A!Lifetime!from!MissVVMa—MamaVVMama!Pat!! By!Pat!Ferretti! ! On!January!4th,!2012,!I!moved!from!two!years!at! Sunrise!Retirement!Home!to!Christopher!Heights!in! Marlboro!Retirement!Home,!about!an!hour!farther!away! from!Jaice!in!Natick.!!People!here!are!mostly!on!walkers,! me!included!now.!!There!are!large!apartments!and!one! big!plus:!!my!own!bathroom.!!You’ll!never!realize!what!a! luxury!that!is!unless!you’ve!shared!one.!!! My!apartment!is!one!big!room!with!a!little! kitchenette.!!A!small!table!with!two!chairs!is!my!only! furniture!downsized!from!my!four!bedroom!home!years! ago!to!my!desk!beside!a!large!sunny!window!and!my! table!with!all!my!over!50!pictures!smiling!at!me.!!My! loved!ones!following!me!from!place!to!place,!my! beloved!family.!! !

! As!I!said,!I!like!it!here;!it’s!mostly!pleasant.!!I’m! lucky!with!friends:!two!delightful!companions!at!my! table,!Denice!and!John,!Nancy!and!Added!about!three! months!ago!much!to!my!joy!was!to!take!part!in!writing! and!taking!part!in!a!project!writing!about!different! stories!of!my!life.!!Wonderful!professor!Lucia!Knolesaa! always!my!thanks,!Lucia.!!I’ll!never!forget!you!and!what! you’ve!opened!up!for!me.!! I!have!no!complaints.!It!means!so!much!each!time!I! hear!the!phone!ring.!!Everyone!is!busy!and!I’m!thankful!

for!the!times!I!hear!they!are!all!doing!well.!I’m!so!proud! of!each!and!every!one!of!them.!!Judy!and!Ron!celebrated! forty!years!of!marriage.!!Kim!and!John,!30!years,!Jack! and!Karen!20!years.!!Warren!is!four!years!married!and! our!medical!man.!!They!have!made!me!proud.!!My! grandchildren!Scott,!Tanya,!Nic,!Alison,!Chris,!our!boys! now!14.!!Aaron,!Ben.!!Walter!has!been!gone!37!years! and!only!saw!Scott.!!Granddaughter!Judy!married.!!And! now!there’s!Great!grandchild!Nora,!also.!!My!husband! and!I!never!reaped!the!rewards!of!life!together!for!very! long!but!I’m!sure!he’s!up!there!and!knows!all!the! happiness!I!have!had!and!lonesome!times!too.!!My! family!is!my!reward!for!living!almost!90!years.! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Here!Today,!Gone!Tomorrowâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Wait!For!Me!! By!Pat!Ferretti! !

! When!my!husband!and!I!were!first!married!in!1947! we!lived!in!a!fivearoom!apartment!in!Medford.!!We!were! lucky!to!get!itâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;apartments!were!almost!impossible!to! rent!back!then.!!And!in!1949!we!brought!our!first!baby! girl!home:!our!Judy.!!She!was!born!at!Mass!General!in! Boston.!!A!tiny!baby,!she!had!colic!and!so!was!not!a!good!

eater.!!But!slowly!she!found!her!thumb!and!ate!better! from!there!on!in.!!She!was!perfect!in!every!way.! In!1950!we!bought!our!first!new!home!in! Lexington,!a!fivearoom!ranch!built!on!a!slab!with!heat!in! the!like!those!that!had!become!popular!at!Levittown.!! And!now!we!had!Warren.!How!proud!we!were!and!what! a!good!little!boy!he!wasaaalways!happy!and!ate! everything.!!We’d!eat!lunch!together!with!him!in!his! high!chair.!!He’d!look!at!me!as!I!ate!my!lunch!and!so! sometimes!I’d!end!up!giving!him!part!of!my!sandwich! after!he’d!finished!his!food.!!! Now!in!1954!we!moved!to!Easton!and!had!our! Janice!with!us.!!She!was!born!that!same!year!and!when! she!was!six!months!old!her!hip!started!to!come!out!of!its! socket.!!We!never!would!have!known!if!an!observant! doctor!hadn’t!noticed!that!Janice!had!more!fat!rings!at! the!top!of!one!leg!than!the!other.!!Thank!goodness!he! did,!but!as!a!result,!Janice!had!to!go!into!a!cast!for!six! months.!!It!was!hard!because!she!had!always!slept!on! her!stomach!and!now!couldn’t!do!it!because!of!the!cast.!!

So!she!would!lay!in!her!crib!and!cry!and!cry,!and!weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d! sit!up!worrying.! We!ended!up!there!on!Tyson!road!in!Easton!for! twentyathree!years.!!There!were!only!six!homes!on!our! deadaend!street!and!ours!was!the!last!and!backed!up! onto!the!woods.!!!There!was!also!a!wonderful!school! system.! In!1959!Kim!was!born,!our!princess.!!When!she!was! in!fourth!grade!and!went!to!the!Little!Red!Schoolhouse! (which!is!now!the!post!office!of!the!town!of!South! Easton),!her!teacher!said!she!could!run!the!class,!and!we! are!still!trying!to!catch!up!with!her.!! All!the!kids!had!curly!hair!like!their!dad!and!were! smart!like!their!dad.!!They!were!also!all!college! graduates.!!One!of!my!only!regrets!is!that!my!husband! died!at!58!and!so!only!saw!the!graduation!of!the!first!of! his!children,!Judy,!and!the!birth!of!his!first!grandchild,! Scott.! And!once!our!children!went!to!college,!they!quickly! seemed!to!grow!up!and!go!their!separate!ways.!

! Pat's Children

Judy!now!lives!in!Florida!with!her!husband!Ron.!! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve!been!married!for!fortyaone!years!and!plan!to! retire!next!year.!!Their!son!Scott!and!his!wife,!Sait,!live! in!Alaska.!!Before!that,!they!worked!in!Disney;!he!was!a! chef!and!she!coordinated!Disney!parties.!!Their! daughter!Ali!and!her!husband!Chris!live!in!New!Mexico! with!my!greatagranddaughter,!Nora.! !

Four Generations (clockwise from top) Pat, daughter Judy, great-granddaughter Nora, and granddaughter Ali

! ! Jody!is!now!a!sixth!grade!teacher!in!a!private! academy.!!My!Warren!a!Physician’s!Assistant!and!lives! in!Plymouth.!!Jan!and!Karen!are!in!Natick;!their!boys,! the!twins!are!fourteen!now.!!Karen!is!a!vet.!!Jan,!you! name!it—she’s!a!homemaker!and!a!taxi!service!just!for! starters!and!has!been!ten!years!with!the!Mas!General!

Animal!Farm.!!And!Kim,!a!school!librarian!in!Yarmouth! and!her!son!is!a!landscaper!on!the!Cape.! Am!I!proud?!!You!bet!I!am!!!Although!I!sometimes! feel!like!saying!—!“Wait!for!me!!!I!want!to!catch!up!”!–!I! carry!them!all!in!my!heart,!the!rewards!of!growing!old.! ! ! !

Great-granddaughter Nora

! ! ! ! MALCOLM!HERMAN!

Childhood!Holidays! By!Malcolm!Herman! ! My!favorite!holiday!was!the!4th!of!July!as!I!remember! shooting!off!firecrackers!and!going!to!the!City!of!New!Bedfordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s! annual!fireworks!display!and!watching!as!they!shot!them!into! the!sky!and!lit!up!the!heavens!and!sky!before!falling!to!the! ground.!We!spent!the!summer!at!the!beach!in!Nantasket,!Mass,! playing!tennis,!going!to!paragon!park,!swimming,!and!fishing! off!the!pier.! Preparations!for!Thanksgiving!were!made!by!my! accompanying!my!mother!to!the!grocery!store!to!shop!for!the! holiday!meals.!We!often!spent!several!hours!going!up!and! down!the!aisles!for!the!food.!When!we!got!home!we!still! needed!even!more!items!that!were!overlooked!and!still!needed.! Yes!we!ate!special!foods!for!the!Passover!holiday,!such!as! matzoh,!and!Gefilte!fish.!Special!plates!were!used!strictly!for! that!holiday.!Yes!we!read!out!of!a!special!book!called!the! passover!Haggadah!that!reminded!us!that!our!ancestors!were! slaves!in!Egypt!who!roamed!the!desert!for!40!years!until!led!to! the!promised!land!of!Israel.! I!looked!forward!to!the!Jewish!holiday!of!Chanukah,!as!we! lit!the!menorah!each!night!for!8!nights!and!received!Chanukah! 69

gifts.!At!each!Passover!meal!we!would!take!turns!reading!a! paragraph!of!two!either!prayers!or!retelling!of!the!story!of!the! Exodus!from!Egypt.!For!adults!it!was!a!lot!of!work.!For!children! it!was!an!annual!tradition!that!brought!family!cousins!together.! !

My!Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!Cooking! By!Malcolm!Herman! ! My!mother!was!born!in!the!west!end!of!Boston! around!the!turn!of!the!century.!!Esther!Leshefsky!had!3! brothers!and!2!sisters.!!She!married!my!father!in!1919! and!moved!to!New!Bedford!where!both!she!and! husband!Samuel!Herman!started!their!family.!!!Irving! was!born!on!April!8,!1922,!and!three!years!later,!I!was! born!on!Oct.!3,!1925.!!! I!always!thought!of!my!mother,!Esther!Herman,!as! being!an!exceptional!cook.!!I!remember!her!spending! long!hours!in!the!kitchen!making!many!delicious!family! meals.!!I!also!remember!her!making!special!treats!for!us! with!chick!peas!and!I!also!remember!her!roasting! chestnuts.!!She!made!Tzimmes,!which!was!out!of!the! world.! !

Tzimmes From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Tzimmes, tsimmes, and other spelling variants (Yiddish: ) is a traditional Ashkenazi Jewish ‫צימעס‬ sweet stew typically made from carrots and dried fruits such as prunes or raisins, often combined with other root vegetables.[1][2][3] Some cooks add chunks of meat (usually flanken or brisket).[1][3][4] The dish is cooked slowly over low heat and flavored with honey or sugar and sometimes cinnamon or other spices.[5] Tzimmes is often part of the Rosh Hashanah meal, when it is traditional to eat sweet and honey-flavored dishes. Traditionally sliced in rounds, carrots bring to mind gold coins, symbolizing the hope of prosperity in the year to come.[1][6] The name may come from the Yiddish words tzim (for) and esn (eating).[1] "To make a big tzimmes over something" is a Yinglish expression that means to make a big fuss, perhaps because of all the slicing, mixing, and stirring that go into the preparation of the dish.[4]

Samuel!Herman:!A!Man!of!Honor!

by!Malcolm!Herman! My!father,!Sam!Herman,!was!born!in!New!Bedford,!

Mass!in!1898.!!He!attended!public!school!in!New! Bedford!and!graduated!from!high!school.!!! He!was!the!oldest!boy!in!his!family!and!had!4!other! brothers!and!2!sisters.!!(Charlie!was!a!bookie,!Louie!was! a!lawyer,!Haskell!was!a!restaurant!purveyor,!Mimmy! owned!a!liquor!store.!During!the!war!years,!my!Uncle! Jimmy!had!a!commercial!fishing!vessel!built!that! traveled!900!to!1,000!miles!to!the!Grand!Banks!of!St.! John’s,!Newfoundland,!Canada)!on!two!week!voyages! and!longer.!He!named!the!boat!after!his!father/my! grandfather,!“Abraham!H.”)! In!1925,!the!year!that!I!was!born,!my!father,! Samuel!Herman,!opened!a!grocery!store!in!downtown! New!Bedford.!!His!store!was!not!that!far!from!the! waterfront.!!He!sold!fresh!meats!and!grocery!items.!

He!put!all!his!personal!savings!into!this!venture!as! well!as!obtaining!a!sizeable!bank!loan!for!his!big! endeavor.!!Sadly,!it!failed.!!Although!the!store!was!in!the! center!of!town,!it!was!not!in!the!busy!traffic!area!of!the! city.!!But!probably!more!significant!was!the!fact!of!the! stock!market!crash.!! Unable!to!support!a!wife,!a!toddler,!and!a!newaborn! son!with!a!failing!business,!my!father!closed!the!store! but!refused!to!declare!bankruptcy.!!Samuel!Herman! labored!days!and!nights!working!at!4!different!jobs!to! pay!off!all!his!loans!He!was!a!bail!bondsman,!a!deputy! sheriff,!an!auctioneer,!and!a!clerk!in!a!liquor!store.!!!It! took!him!until!the!start!of!WWII!to!work!off!the! bankruptcy,!but!he!thought!it!was!worth!it!because!to! him,!a!good!name!was!of!the!ultimate!importance.!! My!father!Sam!Herman!was!a!good!and!kind!man! but!he!was!a!workaholic!who!was!busy!day!and!night.! He!never!made!time!or!seemed!to!show!interest!in!my! daily!school!or!after!school!sports!or!activities.!Nor!did!

he!spend!time!bonding!by!taking!me!to!watch!baseball! games.! However,!I!remember!him!as!a!kind,!good,!and! loving!father.!When!I!was!discharged!from!the!army! engineers!he!bough!me!a!brand!new!1946!Ford! Business!Coupe.!He!worked!long!hours!and!the!only! time!I!spent!with!him!was!on!Sundays.!!I!looked!forward! to!that!day!every!week.!!!Those!Sundays!were!special! days!that!my!dad!set!aside!to!spend!time!with!my! brother!and!I.!He!taught!me!how!to!drive,!he!took!us!to! amusement!park,!out!to!restaurants.!!He!would!drive!us! to!some!distant!restaurant!in!Boston!or!Rocky!Point,!RI.!!! In!retrospect,!I!now!realize!that!it!was!due!to!his! work!ethic!and!desire!to!repay!all!debits!that!my!father! was!rarely!if!ever!present!at!supper.!!My!best!memories! are!of!Sunday!family!excursions!with!my!dad.!!I!will! always!cherish!our!way!too!short!family!time!together.!! But!even!when!my!father!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!with!me,!he!was! teaching!me!the!importance!of!earning!a!good!name.!!I! now!realize!that!I!also!followed!in!my!fathers!footsteps!

as!I!too!worked!long!hours!6!days!a!week!with!only! Sundays!set!aside!as!the!day!I!could!relax!and!spend! with!my!family.! ! !

School!Years! By!Malcolm!Herman! ! I!loved!my!years!in!grammar!school.!I!especially! loved!going!to!high!school.!!In!high!school!we!had! graduation!twice!each!year.!One!graduation!was!held!in! February!the!other!was!held!in!June.!About!2,000! students!would!graduate!each!time.! In!those!days,!New!Bedford!had!3!high!schools,! Holy!Family!was!a!private!school,!New!Bedford! Vocational!High!and!New!Bedford!High!school.!I!went!to! New!Bedford!High!School.! ! !

As!a!student!in!those!years,!we!could!pick!our!own! teachers.!!An!easy!teacher!or!a!hard!teacher?!Classes! would!fill!up!fast,!you!could!miss!out!if!a!class!was!full,! or!if!you!couldn't!be!there!that!period!when!the!class! you!really!wanted!was!not!available.!!If!you!flunked!a! subject,!you!could!go!to!summer!school!and!make!it!up.! You!needed!so!many!credits!to!graduate,!and!you!got! extra!credits!for!band!practice,!Junior!ROTC,!hall! monitor!or!sports.!I!was!a!hall!monitor!and!I!was!in! Junior!ROTC.!My!high!school!experience!was!the!best! part!of!my!schooling.!I!had!a!blast.!! While!in!high!school!I!got!a!job!working!nights!in!a! restaurant!washing!every!dish,!cup,!utensil,!pot!and! pans!that!had!been!used!since!my!last!shift!working! there.!With!the!money!I!earned!by!working,!I!was!able! to!buy!my!very!own!car.!! I!was!drafted!into!Army!prior!to!my!finishing!my! last!year!in!high!school.!!!But!upon!my!discharge!from! the!Army,!I!was!given!the!opportunity!to!complete!my! high!school!studies!at!The!Huntington!School!in!Boston.!

In!1971!my!oldest!son,!Irving!Alan!followed!in!my! footsteps!by!graduating!from!The!Huntington!School!in! Boston!Mass!as!well.! ! !

First!Jobs!! By!Malcolm!Herman! !

! 1942,!at!the!age!of!15!years!and!7!months,!I!took!a! summer!job!at!the!Empire!Theater!in!New!Medford,! Massachusetts.!!I!was!hired!as!an!usher.!!My!job! responsibilities!included!taking!people!to!their!seats,!

and!cleaning!up!popcorn,!peanuts,!trash!and!whatever! was!left!behind!between!each!showing.!!I!also!collected! ticket!stubs—all!for!the!princely!sum!of!25!cents!per! hour.!!!It!was!a!great!!job!because!I!could!watch!a!new! picture!every!week!as!well!as!newsreels!and!cartoons.! Each!week!we! ushers!had!to! remove!the!name!of! the!previous!week’s! showing!from!the! marquee!and!then! put!up!the!name!of! the!new!feature!! movie.!!Finally!we!would!change!out!the!previous! week’s!movie!posters!for!the!new!week’s!movie!posters.!! At!that!time!there!were!four!movie!theaters!in!New! Bedford:!!The!Olympia!and!the!State!Theatre!both! showed!first!run!movies;!the!Empire!(where!I!worked)! and!the!New!Bedford!Theatre!showed!second!run! movies!like!Westerns!and!Tarzan!movies.!

In!the!fall,!I!got!my!second!job!working!at!a! downtown!New!Bedford!business!owned!by!my!Uncle! Kashie!and!my!Uncle!Eli.!!At!Burtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!Grill,!my! responsibility!was!to!wash!every!pot,!pan,!plate,!saucer,! bowl,!glassware,!cooking!utensil,!and!piece!of! silverware!that!was!used!from!noontime!until!the!end!of! the!day.!!My!unclesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;!business!partnership!later! dissolved.!

This is the kind of car Malcolm used to drive in high school.

! But!before!that!happened,!the!money!I!earned!from! working!from!5!pm!to!11!pm!washing!and!cleaning!in! the!kitchen!made!it!possible!for!me!to!earn!enough! money!to!run!a!car!while!I!was!still!in!high!school.!!Prior! 82

to!working,!I!used!to!walk!to!school.!!Working!and! earning!money!enabled!me!to!take!care!of!the!upkeep!of! my!own!car,!a!1936!Ford.!!And!on!weekends,!my!best! friend,!Chuck!Elias!and!I,!would!drive!14!miles!to!the! Fall!River,!Massachusetts!and!take!girls!our!age!out!to! restaurants.! ! ! !

A!Teacher!Who!Went!the!Extra!Mile!! By!Malcolm!Herman! ! When!I!was!a!student! in!grammar!school!(up!to! the!eight!grade)!I!was! introduced!to!a!man!who! came!to!the!school!through! the!WPA!work!program.!!He! played!the!piano!and!sang! to!the!assembled!students! in!the!auditorium.! ! When!I!entered!high!school,!he!was!my!math! teacher.!!He!was!my!favorite!teacher!and!the!first!male! teacher!I!ever!had.!!In!grammar!school!in!those!days! teachers!were!all!unmarried!women.!!For!some!reason,! my!best!recollection!is!that!female!teachers!could!not!be! married!and!still!teach.!!His!name!was!Mr.!Felton!and!he! was!a!star!football!player!when!he!went!to!high!school.!

He!was!a!great!teacher! who!went!the!extra!mile!to! insure!that!each!student!fully! understood!what!was!being! taught.!!Mr.!Felton!was!a!great! man!who!stayed!long!hours.!! Mr.!Felton!was!Africana American.!!I!believe!he!was!

the!only!black!teacher!on!staff!at!New!Bedford!High.!

Memories!of!My!Brother!Irving!! By!Malcolm!Herman! I!grew!up!with!a!wonderful,!loving!older!brother,! Irving,!who!was!two!years!older!than!myself.!!We!lived! together!at!home.!!We!slept!in!the!same!room.!He!was! my!best!friend.! Irving! and!I!went!to! Betsy!B.! Winslow! Grammar! School! together!and! then!to!the!same!high!school.!!Because!he!was!two!years! ahead!of!me,!I!often!had!many!of!the!same!teachers!that! he!had!had!previously.!!I!remember!the!pride!I!felt!at! the!Friday!full!school!assembly!when!Irving!recited! Lincolnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!Gettysburg!Address!on!stage!by!heart.!!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll!also! always!remember!the!time!Irving!got!into!a!bare!

knuckles!fight!with!another!boy—he!was!always! unafraid.!! Both!of!us!had!chores!around!the!house!and!would! take!turns!washing!dishes,!cutting!the!lawn,!taking!care! of!the!coal!fired!furnace,!shoveling!snow,!keeping!our! room!clean!and!tidy.! My!favorite!room!was!the!bedroom,!which!had!two! windows,!two!beds,!and!two!brothers.!We!slept,!studied! and!played!together!in!that!wonderful!room.!We!could! do!our!homework!or!read!books.!We!had!time!to!listen! to!Tom!Mix,!Buck!Rogers,!The!Lone!Ranger!or!the! Shadow!on!the!radio.!! Irving!was!very!fit,!athletic,!and!unafraid.!My! brother!liked!to!hunt—which!I!don’t.!!He!liked!to!ride! horses,!and!I!DID!ride!horses,!but!not!like!him.!!Irving! liked!to!ride!horses!almost!every!day!at!Buttonwood! Park.!!Irving!had!made!an!arrangement!where!he!could! ride!for!free!as!long!as!he!would!clean!the!stables!and! groom!the!horses!in!return.!!

When!he!was!16!½,!Irving!got!his!driver’s!license! and!soon!thereafter!a!1931!Ford!with!a!rumble!seat,! compliments!of!my!Dad.!!If!I’m!not!mistaken,!I!think!the! car!cost!fifteen!dollars.!Gasoline!was!eight!gallons!for!a! dollar,!and!you!put!alcohol!in!the!car!radiator!to!keep! the!engine!cool.!When!I!was!old!enough,!my!brother! taught!me!how!to!drive!a!stick!shift,!practicing!in!the! parking!lots!until!I!got!the!knack!well!enough!to!head! out!to!the!highway.!!He!was!always!patient—that’s!the! kind!of!guy!he!was.!!Very!sweet!and!very!patient.!!!! Irving!also!always!included!me!with!his!friends,! taking!me!with!him!when!he!and!his!friends!drove!to! 88

the!beach,!sometimes!to!the!ocean,!sometimes!to!the! lakes.! After!graduating!from!New!Bedford!High!School!in! 1939!Irving!enrolled!in!the!University!of!North!Carolina! in!Chapel!Hill,!NC.!Then!he!changed!his!career!path!and! transferred!to!North!Carolina!State!University!in!his! Junior!Year!to!complete!his!studies.!There!he!boarded! with!the!Grossmans,!the!family!of!a!tailor,!while! commuting!to!his!classes!in!Raleigh.!!! While!attending!NC!State!Irving!was!drafted!into! the!army.!!After!basic!training!in!Texas,!Oklahoma,! Louisiana,!and!Mississippi!he!was!selected!to!go!into!the! Coastal!Artillery!Service.!I!only!got!to!spend!time!with! my!brother!one!last!time!as!he!spent!his!last!year!in! training!at!Camp!Pickett,!VA.!!!Otherwise,!although!I!was! also!in!the!armyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in!the!Combat!EngineersaaI!never!got! to!see!him!because!leaves!never!materialized.!!Irving! shipped!out!to!England!and!was!stationed!there!for!one!! !

Irving's Freshman Class Picture in College

! 90

! whole!year!before!he!and!his!troop!were!sent!to!serve!in! France.! Tragically!On!July!3,!1944!Irving!was!the!first! soldier!in!his!outfit!to!be!killed!in!action.!!We!were!later! told!he!was!the!first!soldier!killed!in!his!company!by!a! German!mortar!shell!or!artillery!round!that!found!it’s! mark!while!he!sought!cover!in!his!fox!hole.! In!1947,!the!Army!shipped!his!body!back!from!Europe! for!burial.!!The!closest!military!cemetery!to!New! Bedford,!Massachusetts!was!four!hours!away!in! Farmingdale,!Long!Island.!When!my!brother’s!casket! finally!reached!the!Long!Island!National!Cemetery,! Farmingdale,!Suffolk!County,!New!York!for!burial,!my! father!went!all!by!himself!to!my!brother’s!burial! ceremony!in!Long!Island.!!My!father!kept!this! information!from!me.!!I!had!no!clue.!!I!was!not!invited! nor!had!I!been!told.!!I!think!my!dad!was!trying!to!spare! me.!It!must!have!been!hard!for!him!to!go!through!all! that!alone.!!!He!was!a!hardworking!father!and!I!know!he!

didn’t!do!it!to!hurt!me.!So!I!didn’t!say!anything!when!I! found!out.!!But!I!was!hurt.!!I!needed!to!be!at!my! brother’s!funeral.! Due!to!the!fact!that!Irving!gave!his!life!for!his! country,!I!became!the!sole!surviving!son!of!the!family! and!was!discharged!from!further!military!obligations.! I!then!enrolled!in!Huntington!Preparatory!School,! and!upon!graduation!then!went!to!Burdett!College!in! Boston.!I!met!my!future!wife!Charlotte!Dobis!of! Wellesley!Mass,!who!sat!immediately!behind!me! homeroom!class.!!Within!6!months!of!our!meeting!each! other,!we!had!plans!to!be!married.!!After!our!marriage! in!1948,!we!had!4!children.!!In!!!honor!of!my!brother,!we! named!our!first!son!Irving!Allen.! Each!and!every!year!we!traveled!240!miles!from! our!home!in!Massachusetts!to!my!brother’s!grave!in! Farmingdale!and!then!returned!240!miles!back!home!to! Massachusetts.!As!the!years!went!by,!it!became! increasingly!difficult!to!travel!all!that!distance!in!a! single!day.!!!

! 93

Fifty!years!later,!for!our!50th!wedding!anniversary,! Charlotte!surprised!me!and!gave!me!a!truly!special!gift.!! She!went!to!a!regular!funeral!home!and!arranged!to! have!my!brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!casket!relocated!to!our!family!burial! plot!in!Sharon,!Mass.!!It!cost!7,000!dollars,!but!she! wanted!to!spare!me!from!the!travelling.!!The!Jewish! Veterans!of!Foreign!Wars!sent!a!Military!Honor!Guard! complete!with!a!trumpeter!playing!Taps,!a!Flag! Ceremony,!and!a!3avolley!rifle!salute.!!Now!I!could!go! down!to!his!grave!when!I!wanted.!!Now!he!is!together! with!family:!!my!father,!my!mother,!my!wife.!!And!now!I! had!a!sense!of!peace:!I!had!been!there!when!my!brother! was!buried.! It!has!now!been!69! years!since!my!brother! Irving!Herman!was!killed!in! action!at!the!age!of!22,!on! July!3,!1944!in!France.!!My! whole!life!changed!after! that.!!Had!he!survived,!we!

most!likely!would!have!gone!into!business!together!and! continued!to!be!best!friends.!!! I!will!always!miss!him,!but!he!is!with!me!every!day! and!always!will!be.! !

The!Love!of!My!Life!

By!Irving!Herman!

The!love!of!my!life!was!Charlotte!Dobis!who!I!met! when!I!was!a!student!at!Burdett!College!on!156!Stuart!St! in!the!Park!Square!section!of!Boston!in!1947.!! College!started!in!September!that!year,!at!which! point!I!was!mainly!conscious!of!the!fact!that!I!was!the! proud!owner!of!a!new!1947!Ford!Convertible.!! However,!in!the!next!semester!my!life!would!forever! changed!when!I!awoke!from!my!trance!and!realized!that! there!was!a!new!girl!in!my!homeroom!class.! That!semester,!Charlotte!had!transferred!to! Burdett!from!Leslie!College!in!Cambridge!after!deciding! that!commuting!to!school!in!Boston!would!be!much!less! problematic!than!traveling!from!Wellesley!to!the!Leslie! College!campus!in!Cambridge!each!school!day.! Charlotte!and!I!were!not!taking!any!of!the!same! classes,!but!she!did!sat!immediately!behind!me!in!

homeroom.!Charlotte!was!a!beautiful!girl,!and!I!asked! her!out!for!a!dinner!date.!And!may!I!say,!â&#x20AC;&#x153;We!clicked!â&#x20AC;?!! College!then!became!much!less!of!a!priority,!as! many!most!school!mornings!Charlotte!&!I!would!check! into!the!school!for!the!purpose!of!being!counted!for! attendance!and!then!head!to!the!Bradford!Hotel!and!sit! in!and!participate!as!the!studio!audience!of!Sherm! Feller's!live!radio!show!from!the!Bradford!Hotel.! Immediately!after!the!show,!we!would!return!to!school! for!our!afternoon!classes.!! !

The Pictures Above from the Web Show How We Spent Our Mornings

That!winter,!we!attended!Burdett!College! Basketball!games.!!In!the!spring,!we!went!to!Braves! Field!and!watched!the!Boston!Braves!play!professional! baseball.!

! Somehow,!Charlotte!and!I!graduated!in!June.! Luckily,!I!had!an!Aunt!&!Uncle!who,!like!Charlotte's! family,!spent!their!summers!at!Nantasket!Beach.!My! Aunt!&!Uncle!were!easily!convinced!and!more!than! happy!to!have!me!spend!the!summer!as!their!guest.! !

Time!marches!on!.!.!.!When!the!time!was!right,!I! went!to!her!father,!and!asked!him!if!I!could!marry! Charlotte.!I!waited!patiently!as!he!said!he!needed!to! think!things!over!first.!Tick,!tick,!tick!.!.!.!!Mr.!Dobis! eventually!broke!the!long!period!of!agonizing!silence,! and!then!began!to!impress!upon!me!the!responsibilities! that!marrying!his!daughter!would!entail.!An!hour!later! when!the!lecture!ended,!he!finally!said:!â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes!â&#x20AC;?! We!set!our!wedding!date!on!Feb!15,!1948.!!Our! marriage!lasted!61!years.!

Malcolm and Charlotte on Their 50th Wedding Anniversary

Family!Life!

By!Malcolm!Herman! I!married!the!love!of!my!life,!Charlotte!Dobis,!on!

Feb!15th,!1948,!and!we!then!lived!with!her!parents!in! Wellesley!Hills!for!the!next!three!years.!!When!the!right! house!came!along!in!early!1952!we!purchased!our!1st! house!in!the!Wethersfield!development!in!Natick.!!In! May,!we!had!our!1st!son,!Irving!Alan,!who!we!named! after!my!brother,!Irving,!who!was!killed!in!WWII.!!! Irving!is!a!wonderful!son!who!never!lets!a!day!go! by!without!calling!me!to!see!how!I!am!doing!and!feeling.!! Irving!and!his!wife!Cheryl!live!in!Durham,!NC.!!Irving! drives!a!school!bus!and!Cheryl!is!the!best!nurse!at!Duke! hospital.!!They!are!known!to!go!out!to!dinner!most! weekends!with!their!dear,!dear,!dear,!dear!friends,!The! Cowboy!and!his!wife.!!(Ron!&!Bonie!Henson).!!Irving! went!to!Berwick!Academy!in!South!Berwick,!Maine!for! one!year,!and!then!he!transferred!to!Huntington!School! for!Boys!in!Boston!to!complete!his!high!school!

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education.!!Huntington!Prep!as!it!was!called!is!the!very! same!school!I!attended!for!one!year!before!I!attended! Burdett!College.! Jan.!4th,!1955,!Charlotte!ad!I!were!blessed!with!son! number!two,!Mark!Samuel.!!Markâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!middle!name!was! chosen!in!honor!of!my!father.!!Samuel!Mark!attended! Devereaux!School!and!Phelps!School,!both!located!not! far!from!Valley!Forge,!PA.!!Mark!has!a!son,!Robert,!a! daughter!in!law,!Sonja,!and!two!grandchildren!named! Isabella!and!Elijah.!!Markâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!wife,!Lynne,!passed!away!in! February!2007.!!Mark!is!a!restaurant!design!consultant! in!Durham,!NC.! On!Feb!4th,!1956,!Charlotte!and!I!were!blessed!with! our!daughter,!Nancy!Renee.!!Nancy!attended!UMASS! Amherst!and!studied!Hospitality!&!Tourism! Management.!!Nancy!married!Bruce!Goldie!in!1978!and! in!July!1979!had!their!first!child!(my!only! granddaughter),!Erica!Beth.!!In!1980,!my!grandson! Kenneth!was!born,!and!in!1987,!Jason!was!born.!!Jason! has!plans!to!be!married!sometime!next!fall.!!My!

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daughter!Nancy!managed!to!complete!her!college! education!by!taking!classes!at!Framingham!State! College.!!Grandsons!Kenneth!and!Jason!Goldie! graduated!form!Indiana!University!and!both!work!with! Bruce!in!the!Goldie!Group.!!Nancy!and!Bruce!live!in! Framingham.! On!Feb!28th,!1959,!our!son!Jeffrey!Scott!was!born.!! Jeffrey!is!married!to!Elise!and!they!have!a!son,!Jason,! who!married!Brittany!Dec.!12,!2012.!!Both!Jason!and! Brittany!work!with!Jeff!in!his!restaurant!equipment! business!in!Durham!NC.! As!they!became!old!enough,!all!of!my!children! worked!with!me!at!the!Wellesley!Hills!Market.!!Each!day! was!a!new!adventure!and!I!have!fond!memories!of! spending!time!with!them!that!way.! !

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The Herman and Sadick First Cousins The Herman, Sadick, and Dobis First Cousins

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My!Life!as!a!Businessman!

!By!Malcolm!Herman!

After!I!graduated!from!Burdett!College!in!1947,!I! got!a!state!job!working!for!the!tax!division!as!a!clerk.!! The!office!was!located!next!to!the!old!Boston!City!Hall,! not!far!from!the!State!House.!!!I!wasn’t!very!happy!there! because!I!wasn’t!being!used!as!a!taxman.!!The!girls!in! the!office!went!over!the!taxes,!and!I!was!carrying!the! taxes!to!the!girls!and!then!putting!then!in!the!right! places.!!I!wasn’t!getting!to!use!what!I!went!to!school!for.!! I!worked!there!for!a!year!or!so,!and!on!February! 15th,!1948,!I!married!Charlotte!Dobis.!!That!was!the!day! I!singleahandedly!broke!the!hearts!of!many!bonny! young!lasses!all!around!the!Bay!State!as!I!purposely! took!myself!off!the!list!of!available!prospects.! Then!I!went!to!work!for!National!Screen.!!All! movies!have!big!posters!to!advertise,!so!I’d!file!the! posters!when!they!came!back!from!the!movies—a!lot!of!

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them!seemed!to!feature!Tyrone!Power.!!(If!I!owned! them!now!theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d!be!worth!a!lot!of!money.)!!! Next!I!went!to!20th!CenturyaFox!because!the!pay! was!better.!!It!was!also!a!wonderful!job!and!a!great! company!to!work!for.!Located!in!the!movie!district!in! Boston,!Fox!was!surrounded!by!the!old!Latin!Quarter! where!the!famous!Coconut!Grove!fire!had!been.!!Fox,! RKO,!Paramount,!and!Universal!all!had!buildings!there.!! It!was!all!like!one!big!happy!family.!!We!had!a!theater!in! the!building.!!After!work,!you!could!go!see!one!of!the! pictures!for!free.!!(At!that!time!the!Kennedys!down!in! Hyannis!used!to!get!movies!delivered!to!their!house!for! free.)!Each!quarter!whenever!we!exceeded!all!our!job! expectations!and!goals,!we!received!a!full!extra!weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s! pay!to!take!home!as!a!bonus.! I!devoted!the!next!35!years!working!as!a!Grocery! Store!Manager.!!I!lived!in!Natick!and!worked!in! Wellesley.!!Prior!to!the!arrival!of!the!giant!chain! supermarkets!in!Wellesley,!we!were!the!leading!

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hometown,!independent!grocery!stores!(two!locations:! Wellesley!Hills!and!Wellesley!Center.)!!! Our!business!model!included!offering!inahouse! charge!accounts!to!all!our!customers.!!!Incredibly,!sixtya five!percent!of!our!total!sales!were!to!customers!buying! their!groceries,!meat,!and!produce!from!us!on!credit.!! Master!Charge,!as!it!was!originally!called,!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t! invented!until!1966!and!the!Visa!brand!was!created!in! 1975.!!We!provided!delivery!with!five!home!delivery! trucks,!and!we!had!much!larger!box!trucks!going!to! Boston!and!Charlestown!for!meats,!provisions,!fish,! seafood,!and!produce.!!It!was!a!wonderful!time!in!my! life,!and!my!four!children!all!worked!in!the!store!parta time!as!they!became!old!enough.!

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! When!I!retired! after!working!35! years!in!the!grocery! business,!Charlotte! and!I!talked!about!the! next!chapter!and!all! the!possibilities!life!in!retirement!offered.!! Jeffrey!Scott,!our!youngest!son,!had!met!a!Kim! Barker,!a!lovely!Southern!Girl,!(hi!y'all!)!who!lived!in! Bristol,!VA.!Jeff!&!Kim!were!engaged.!Charlotte!and!I! traveled!to!Bristol!to!meet!Kim's!family!and!much!to!our! surprise,!we!were!quite!taken!with!the!area.!Jeffrey!is! responsible!for!our!hearing!about!Bristol!and!finding! ourselves!drawn!to!the!quaint!little!city!in!Southwest! Virginia.! The!town!of!Bristol!spans!two!different!states,! Virginia!&!Tennessee.!Half!of!State!Street!is!TN!&!the! other!half!in!VA.!Tote!Barker,!a!visionary!and!Kim's!hard! working!Dad,!was!in!the!process!of!renovating!the!old!

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Train!Station!into!a!marketplace!and!meeting!place! much!as!Faneuil!Hall!in!Boston!had!seen!it's!own! reincarnation!and!revitalization!as!a!indoor/outdoor! mall!and!food!eatery.!! !

! We!jumped!at!the!opportunity!to!recreate!our!lives! and!we!moved!south!to!take!advantage!of!the! opportunity!to!start!a!brand!new!business!and!establish! ourselves!in!the!TriaCities!area!of!Virginia/Tennessee.!

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We!sold!our!house!in!Natick!and!bought!a!beautiful! hilltop!home!in!Bristol!TN.! The!old!Bristol!Train!Station!had!fallen!into!major! disrepair!after!having!been!abandoned!and!unused!for! 25!years.!Tote!Barker's!plan!&!vision!was!to!renovate! and!reapurpose!the!Historical!Train!Station!in!time!as!a! stop!over!for!tourists!traveling!on!Ia81!South!for!the! Knoxville,!TN!World's!Fair.!Ultimately!Charlotte!&!I! decided!to!go!into!the!gourmet!candy!business!and!offer! the!area's!widest!and!best!selection!of!candies!and!fine! chocolates!that!part!of!the!country!had!ever!seen.!! From!concept!to!opening!took!us!3!months.!Our! store!(SweetsaNaStuff)!was!a!real!showcase!!We!joined! the!ranks!of!the!28!other!businesses!that!were!opening! in!the!Train!Station!as!well.!Among!the!various! businesses!were!6!different!restaurant!establishments,! a!bakery,!an!ice!cream!stand,!a!local!radio!station!had!its! studio!there,!a!toy!store,!a!fine!Men's!clothing!store,!a! tobacco!shop,!a!newsstand!etc.! !

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! After!2!weeks!in!business,!we!completely!sold!out! of!candy!a!Business!was!so!fantastic!when!we!initially! opened!that!we!seriously!considered!opening!a!second! location!in!the!Kingsport,!TN!Shopping!Mall.!Soon! thereafter,!reality!set!in.!Many!of!the!Train!Station! tenants!were!under!capitalized!and!were!not!able!to! keep!operations!going!long!term.!As!Merchants!cut!back! on!their!offerings,!quality!suffered.!Foot!traffic!in!the! Train!Station!went!into!a!tailspin.!Stores!faltered!and! then!closed.!New!Entrepreneur!wannabes!(dreamers)! took!a!run!and!tried!to!pick!up!the!pieces,!but!their! inexperience!and!lack!of!capital!proved!to!be!their! undoing.! SweetsaNaStuff!continued!operating!for!the!three! years,!but!we!ended!up!selling!out!to!Tote!Barker.! 112

Charlotte!&!I!sold!the!beautiful!house!we!had!purchased! and!moved!to!Boca!Raton!Florida!where!many! transplanted!friends,!neighbors!and!cousins!had! relocated!when!they!retired.!While!there!I!put!my! grocery!experience!to!use!by!working!3!years!full!time! for!Bloomingdale's!in!the!Gourmet!Food!&!Gifts! Department.!After!working!for!Bloomingdale's!I!worked! for!a!period!as!a!Census!taker.!Later!I!worked!for!the!Ft.! Lauderdale!Sun$Sentinel!Daily!Newspaper!in!the! circulation!&!sales!department.! After!residing!in!Florida!for!eighteen!years,!the! decline!in!my!dear!sweet!wifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!health!necessitated!our! return!to!Massachusetts!to!be!closer!to!family.!!! !

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My!Last!Dance!! By!Malcolm!Herman!

While!we!were!enjoying!retirement!in!Boca!Raton,! my!dear!wife!Charlotte!Dobis!Herman!was!diagnosed!in! 1998!as!having!Alzheimer's.!Our!daughter!Nancy!and! granddaughter!Erica!Beth!were!instrumental!in!having! us!move!back!to!Massachusetts!very!near!them!in!the! fall!of!2001.!Nancy!and!Erica!shared!responsibility!of! overseeing!our!well!being,!needs!and!care.! Initially!Charlotte!and!I!lived!in!a!small!apartment! together!for!a!year,!but!soon!thereafter!it!was!obvious! that!that!much,!much!more!help!and!younger!hands!and! backs!were!needed!to!give!Charlotte!the!care!she!really! needed.! Charlotte!spent!three!years!in!Hearthstone!in! Marlboro!and!I!moved!to!New!Horizons!next!door!to!be! as!close!as!possible!to!her.!Charlotte!next!spent!3!years! living!in!Beaumont!Rehabilitation!and!Skilled!Nursing! Center!at!Northborough.!Charlotte's!last!4!years!were!

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spent!at!St!Patrick!Manor!in!Framingham!where!she! received!the!best,!most!loving!care.! !

While!Charlotte!lived!in!Hearthstone,!Beaumont! and!St!Patrick's!Manor,!I!visited!her!each!morning!I! spoon!fed!her!breakfast.!This!allowed!me!to!spend!as! much!time!with!her!as!I!could!everyday.! We!renewed!our!wedding!vows!in!special! ceremony!at!St!Patrick's!Manor.!Later!we!attended!a! formal!affair.!Charlotte!wore!an!evening!gown!and!I! wore!a!suit.!We!held!hands!and!watched!other!people! dance.!She!was!happy.! 115

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My!Four!Bright!Stars! By!Malcolm!Herman! ! I!have!3!boys!and!1!daughter.!In!birth!order,!they! are:!!Irving!Alan,!Mark!Samuel,!Nancy!Renee!and!Jeffrey! Scott.!! My!oldest!son!is!Irving!Alan.! Charlotte!and!I!chose!to!name!him! in!honor!of!my!only!brother!Irving,! who!was!killed!in!action!in!WWII.! Irving!Alan!is!a!wonderful!son!who! did!well!in!school!and!earned!money!for!college!while! working!in!the!grocery!store.!Irving!attended!boarding! school!in!South!Berwick,!Maine!for!one!year!then! transferred!to!The!Huntington!School!in!Boston.!After! school!each!day,!Irving!would!ride!the!Boston!&! Worcester!Bus!Line!to!Wellesley!Hills!and!work!in!the! Wellesley!Hills!Market!until!closing!time!each!day.! Irving!completed!his!final!three!years!at!The!Huntington! School!while!working!all!day!Saturday!and!after!school!

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each!weekday!in!the!grocery!store.!(I!myself!attended! The!Huntington!School!in!Boston!as!a!Post!Graduate! when!I!finished!my!military!service,!prior!to!attending! Burdett!College.)!! Irving!studied!communications!and!broadcasting!at! Emerson!College!in!Boston!before!leaving!college!to! work!full!time!in!the!Supermarket.!Later!he!operated!his! own!small!business!for!25!years.!Irving!is!now! employed!by!Durham!Public!Schools!and!is!married!to! my!number!#!1!daughter!in!law!of!all!time,!Cheryl!Lynn! Herman.! !

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My!2nd!son!is!Mark! Samuel!who!also!helped!out! working!in!the!business! during!school!vacations.! From!age!8!and!beyond,!Mark! attended!private!schools!in!Pennsylvania.!Mark's!needs! were!better!met!in!a!more!comprehensive!structured! environment!than!he!would!have!received!by!attending! public!schools!in!Natick!at!that!time.!It!was!hard!for! Charlotte!and!I!to!only!see!Mark!on!Holidays!and!school! vacations!but!we!knew!it!was!in!his!true!best!interest.! Mark!graduated!from!Phelps!Academy!and!then! attended!UMASS!Amherst.!Today!Mark!is!the!President! of!a!Restaurant!Design!and!Consulting!Business.! ! ! !

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My!3rd!born!is!my!daughter,!Nancy!Renee.!Nancy! attended!public!school!in!Natick!and!graduated!from! Natick!High!School.!After!school!&!weekends,!Nancy! worked!part!time!as!a!cashier!and!in!the!office!too.! Nancy!attended!UMASS!Amherst!in!the!school!of!Travel! &!Hospitality!Management.!Nancy's!education!and! training!were!instrumental!in!being!selected!by!Hertz!to! oversee!the!dayatoaday!operations!of!their!Framingham! Area!Car!Sales!Operations.!! I!am!proud!to!say!even!though! she!chose!to!leave!college!early!to! work!for!Hertz!and!marry!her!love,! Bruce!Goldie,!Nancy!later!made!time! to!complete!her!college!degree! requirements!at!Framingham!State! while!having!and!raising!three!special!Grandchildren,! Erica,!Kenneth,!and!Jason.!Nancy's!husband!Bruce!is! more!like!a!son!that!a!son!in!law.!Through!advanced! online!educational!offerings!and!commitment!of!her! resources!and!time,!Nancy!has!attained!additional!

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professional!certifications!and!now!works!with!Bruce!in! the!Goldie!Group.!

! ! !

My!4th!born!and!youngest!son!

is!Jeffrey!Scott.!Jeff!also!helped!out! in!the!grocery!business.!Jeffrey's! primary!duties!involved!being!a! delivery!truck!driver!working!and! later!running!the!home!delivery!department.!Jeffrey! contributed!to!ensuring!that!customers!who!were! physically!unable!or!perhaps!too!busy!to!shop!in!store! had!their!needs!and!wants!fulfilled.!!Jeff!attended! Wellesley!High!School!and!graduated!from!Chapel!Hilla Chauncy!Hall!School!in!Waltham.!Jeffrey!Scott!and!his!

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son!Jason!own!&!operate!Restaurant!Equipment!and! Supply!business!in!Durham,!NC!called!REDDS! (Restaurant!Equipment!Discounters!Direct!Service).! !

! !

My!three!sons!all!settled!in!Durham,!North!Carolina!

and!married!wonderful!wives.!My!sweet!daughter! Nancy!and!her!family!all!live!here!in!The!Framingham,! Natick!&!Boston!Area.! My!children!have!always!brought!pride!and!joy!into! my!life.!!Pride!in!their!work!ethic!and!in!the! contributions!they!made!to!our!business.!!Joy!in!the! closeness!we!have!always!shared!as!a!family.! !

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! ! ! DOROTHY!KENNEDY!

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My!Room! By!Dorothy!Kennedy! ! I!grew!up!in!Woburn,!MA.! My!room!or!I!should!say!our!roomaamy!sister!and!I!shared! a!room.!!It!was!a!lovely!room!with!one!large!window!and!two! small!ones.!A!beautiful!picture!of!Christ!hung!over!our!bed.!! The!wallpaper!had!pretty!flowers!on!it.!We!each!claimed!one! side!for!our!paper!dolls.!! I!could!see!it!clear!through!the!window.!!The!different! phases!of!the!moon!always!amazed!me.!!During!a!storm!I!loved! to!watch!the!lightning,!but!mother!soon!put!a!stop!to!that! because!she!said!it!was!dangerous.!!! My!sisters!and!I!had!so!much!fun!and!laugher!in!our!room.!!! !

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Memories!of!Food!and!Family! ! By!Dorothy!Kennedy! In!our!house!there!was!always!the!smell!of! something!good!cooking.!!Mother!baked!at!least!once!a! week;!most!of!the!food!we!ate!was!home!made.!!Mother! canned!fresh!fruit!and!vegetables!all!summer.! Above! everything!else! to!me!was!the! aroma!of! cinnamon! when!she! made!rice! custard.!!It!was! made!with!rice! and!raisins.!! You!beat!milk,!eggs,!vanilla,!sugar.!!Pour!over!the!rice.!! Sprinkle!with!cinnamon.!!Bake!in!a!pan!half!full!of!water.!!

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It!will!bring!the!custard!to!the!top.!!Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!the!greatest.!!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve! served!it!many!times!and!everyone!loved!it.!! ! !

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School!Days! !By!Dorothy!Kennedy! ! School!was!good.!I!liked!it!and!most!of!the!teachers.!! In!grammar!school!we!had!to!walk!about!a!mile!to!and! from,!we!had!to!come!home!to!lunch!and!then!go!back.!! We!had!a!lot!of!fun!and!dared!not!be!late.!!I!had!a!nice! second!grade!teacher.!!Every!day!we!had!to!write!three! words!and!ever!day!I!got!all!three!wrong!but!Miss! Dorothy!was!very!patient!with!me.!!! My!4th!grade!teacher!was!beautiful.!!She!was!young.!! I!would!say!in!her!thirties!but!her!hair!was!pure!white.! Once!a!week!we!had!a!music!teacher!and!a! penmanship!teacher!came.!!It!was!very!interesting.! High!school!was!good.!!We!had!to!dress!very! conservatively,!as!did!the!teachers.! I!had!one!English!teacher!who!when!she!yelled!at! you,!you!could!hear!her!a!block!away.!!What!a!voice.!!My! social!study!teacher!lived!on!my!street,!two!houses! down.!!She!was!a!good!teacher!and!neighbor.!When!I!left!

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her!class!I!was!eager!to!see!some!of!the!places!we!had! studied.! Most!of!my!teachers!were!good.!!To!my!mother,!if! you!got!anything!but!an!A!or!a!B!it!was!a!crime.!!So!I!had! to!study!hard.!

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Turning!Point! by!Dorothy!Kennedy! ! I!was!eighteen!years!old!when!there!was!a!real! change!in!my!life.! My!first!job!was! stitching!sheep!lined! jackets!for!the!Army.!! They!were!heavy!but! not!too!bad.!!I!was!the! youngest!girl!and! everyone!was!very!nice! to!me.!!I!enjoyed!it!and!my!coworkers.! I!also!decided!to!help!my!sister!more.!!She!was!two! years!younger!than!I.!! She!was!very!pretty!with!a!nice!figure,!not!skinny! like!me,!and!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!mind!speaking!her!mind.!!I!loved! buying!her!pretty!clothes.!!My!mother!said!that!I!treated! her!more!like!my!daughter!than!my!sister.!

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When!she!wanted!a!small!wedding!Mother!said!NO,! she!should!have!a!big!one.!!I!talked!her!into!letting!her! have!one!and!bought!her!the!dress!she!wanted.!!We! were!very!close.! I!remember!one!day!Mother!called!to!see!if!I!had! seen!my!sister!that!day.!!Mother!always!called!her!my! sister,!not!Edith,!when!she!wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!listen!to!her.!!All!I! could!think!was!what!has!she!done!now.! When!she!came!by,!she!had!a!blond!streak!put!in! her!hair.!!It!looked!good!on!her,!but!when!I!told!her! what!mother!thought!of!it!she!said!that!she!only!had!to! please!herself.!Even!now!I!wonder!if!I!would!have!been! better!off!if!I!had!a!little!of!her!in!me.!I!always!seem!to! put!othersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;!feelings!before!mine.! When!I!was!a!Supervisor!at!the!hotel,!I!was!in!agony! when!I!had!to!correct!one!of!the!girls.! !

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A!Gratitude!Letter! By!Dorothy!Kennedy! !

! Dear!Mother!and!Dad,! I!know!this!letter!is!way!overdue.!!Nevertheless,!I! must!say!these!things!to!you.!!First!of!all,!let!me!explain! that!when!I!say!mother!and!dad,!I!mean!my!foster! parents.!!They!raised!me!from!the!time!I!was!ten!years! old!until!I!was!eighteen.!!My!sister!was!eight,!and!my! brother!was!ten.! I!remember!the!Love!and!Care!you!gave!me,!the! lovely!walks!we!took,!and!how!you!taught!me!the!names! of!the!flowers.!!The!fun!we!had!at!Carnivals.!!You!were! so!proud!when!we!sang!in!the!choir.! I!felt!really!rich!when!I!brought!home!Aâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!on!my! report!cards!and!got!a!dime!for!each!A.! I!remember!when!I!was!punished!for!doing! something!wrong.!!I!thought!you!were!so!cruel!then,!but! now!I!realize!that!was!necessary.!!I!know!I!was!loved! and!that!you!put!no!one!and!nothing!before!me.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;! 132

Being!older!has!been!a!series!of!ups!and!downs,!but! I!am!so!grateful!for!the!beautiful!childhood!you!gave!me! when!I!was!growing!up.!!! I!often!think!of!the!fun!we!had!when!we!went!on! the!train!to!Boston!shopping,!and!we!always!had!lunch! at!Perronies,!a!big!restaurant.!!The!fried!clams!there! were!so!good.! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! For!all!this!and!more,!I!love!you!and!thank!you.!!I! know!that!whatever!was!good!in!me!came!from!you.! Love,! Dorothy! !

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Young!Love! By!Dorothy!Kennedy! ! When!I!was!about!sixteen!years!old,!this!boy!I!had! known!since!grade!school!decided!that!we!were!a!pair.! If!Mother!had!known!about!it,!it!would!have!ended! right!then!but!we!were!very!closeamouthed.! Our!families!were!friends!and!we!went!to!the!same! church!and!played!together,!so!no!one!noticed!anything! different.! When!I!was!18!and!could!go!out!with!a!boy,!it!had! to!be!in!a!group.!!He!was!always!there.! We!would!hold!hands,!but!when!I!got!older!and!he! took!me!out,!he!would!speak!of!Love!and!marriage.!I! realized!that!he!was!in!love!with!me,!but!to!me!he!was! like!a!brother.! He!joined!the!navy,!and!he!always!sent!me!lovely! gifts.! When!he!got!discharged,!we!went!every!place! together.!!We!had!a!good!time!and!I!was!determined!to!

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fall!in!love!with!him.!!Finally!we!became!engaged.!!He! gave!me!a!lovely!ring.!!The!more!I!looked!at!it,!the!more! I!knew!that!I!couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!marry!him!and!sex!was!out!of!the! question.!!He!was!like!my!brother.! I!got!married!about!five!years!later.!!He,!three!years! after!me.!

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My!Parents! By!Dorothy!Kennedy! ! Mother!and!Dad!were!the!best.!!!Mother!took!me!on!walks! to!pick!blueberries.!!!We!went!to!yard!sales.!!I!had!so!much!fun! learning!how!to!bargain.!!She!had!so!much!patience!with!me! learning!how!to!sew!on!her!old!singer.! I!got!my!cooking!lessons!from!watching!her!cook.!!She! thought!that!was!a!lot!easier!for!both!of!us.! Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!one!fault!was!making!me!eat!a!bowl!of!oatmeal! with!butter!and!cream!every!morning.!!Trying!to!put!some! meat!on!my!bones.! My!Dad!was!a!great!gardener.!!He!taught!me!the!names!of! all!the!flowers!and!how!to!weed!the!gardens.!!We!had!both! vegetables!and!flowers.!!Dad!was!a!Sunday!school!teacher,!so! we!got!plenty!of!help!in!reading!and!understanding!the!Bible.! We!spent!many!nights!listening!to!our!small!radio.! !

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! !

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My!Greatest!Sorrow!

By!Dorothy!Kennedy!

When!I!was!twentyasix!years!old,!I!gave!birth!to!a! precious!baby.!!Her!name!was!Francine!and!she!was! lovely.!!My!son!was!Frankie,!and!he!was!two.! Francine!looked!just!like!her!father,!who!was!a!very! handsome!man.!!I!loved!her!so!much.!!My!sister!was!so! happy!you!would!have!thought!Francine!was!hers—she! had!two!boys.!!Every!day!she!came!to!the!house!with!a! gift!for!her.!!My!sister’s!oldest!son!was!five!years!old!and! thought!she!was!his!sister.!!But!my!son!and!my!sister’s! youngest!said!Francine!was!just!a!girl!and!couldn’t!play! with!them.! One!day!after!I!had!fed!her!and!put!her!down!for!a! nap,!I!went!back!about!an!hour!later!to!check!on!her.!! She!was!dead!and!turning!blue.!!I!fainted.! When!I!came!to!and!realized!it!wasn’t!a!dream,!I! was!in!another!world!and!stayed!that!way!for!months.!! The!doctor!said!it!was!a!crib!death,!which!I!couldn’t!

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understand!because!she!was!very!well.!!I!thought!the! world!had!come!to!an!end.!I!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!believe!in!God! anymore.! I!nearly!lost!it.!!!I!thought!that!all!I!had!to!do!was!to! get!pregnant!again!and!when!the!baby!was!born!it! would!be!my!Francine.!!! My!sister!tried!her!best!to!make!me!understand! that!if!I!had!another!baby!that!it!would!be!a!different! baby.!!Not!her.! An!older!lady!talked!to!me!time!and!time!again! until!I!was!finally!clear!about!the!situation.!!I!no!longer! wanted!to!pray!after!God!had!taken!my!Francine!when! she!was!only!five!weeks!old.!!But!my!friend!believed!in! prayer.!!She!was!a!wonderful!friend!to!be!able!to!talk!me! through!all!the!tears!and!crazy!ideas!that!were!going! through!my!mind.!!It!took!a!while!for!me!to!realize!that! God!knows!best.! !

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! 140

My!Husband! By!Dorothy!Kennedy! My!dear!husband,!whom!I!love!and!admire,!is!the! most!selfish!and!selfacentered!person!I!know.! When!I!look!at!him,!I!often!wonder!how!a!person! can!be!two!different!people,!although!mother!always! said!that!there!was!a!little!evil!in!the!best!of!us!and!a! little!good!in!the!worst!of!us,!and!I!guess!thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!it.! He!was!one!of!eight!children:!four!boys!and!four! girls.!!He!was!the!oldest!boy!and!his!motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!favorite.!! He!told!me!this!and!the!others!also!told!me.!!He!claimed! that!his!father!picked!on!him!because!he!was!the!oldest! boy.! When!he!was!thirteen,!his!father!bought!him!a! saxophone,!and!he!did!odd!jobs!to!earn!money!for! lessons.!!He!played!with!small!and!large!groups!for!a! while,!and!then!he!formed!his!own!band,!sometimes! small!and!other!times!large.!!Wherever!he!played,! people!loved!him.!!He!has!a!nice!personality,!a!beautiful!

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singing!voice,!and!when!he!plays!his!saxophone!it!is!the! greatest.!!!

! ! On!the!stage!he!is!one!person;!at!home!he!is! someone!else.!!!!He!is!very!jealous!and!I!am!supposed!to!

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be!dumb.!!We!never!fussed!much.!!I!just!went!along!with! anything!he!said.! We!travelled!a!lot!and!saw!many!lovely!places,!but! it!would!have!been!better!had!he!thought!of!me.! For!the!last!seven!years,!he!has!been!in!the!nursing! home.!!He!had!a!stroke,!and!I!am!here!in!Christopher! House.!!I!watch!and!listen!to!Joe!every!Sunday!morning.!! His!teachings!are!how!to!treat!other!people!and! ourselves!and!how!to!live!in!this!world!today,!and!I!have! learned!that!I!could!do!much!more!to!help.!!So!if!I!have!a! little!more!time!with!my!husband!of!52!years,!I!intend! to!be!his!Equal.!

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What I Learned From Taking This Course Dorothy Kennedy

Lucia!is!great.!!I!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!too!fussy!about!the!class! when!I!started!it,!but!she!soon!changed!that.!!I!soon! started!looking!forward!to!the!Thursday!morning! classes,!although!I!will!never!be!a!writer.! I!learned!that!we!all!have!troubles!in!life.!!Some!are! little!and!some!are!big.!!Nevertheless!they!hurt.! I!think!there!are!things!we!should!keep!to! ourselves;!they!may!be!taken!the!wrong!way.!!Our!lives! are!constantly!changing!and!sometimes!it!is!good!to!just! live!each!day!as!well!as!we!can.! !

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! ! ! ! ! ! MICHAEL!SHEA!

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On!the!Porch! By!Mike!Shea! I!liked!the!porch!because!it!was!a!porch!where!we! would!sleep,!eat,!and!entertain.!!We!slept!there!during! the!summer.!!It!would!be!my!mother!or!my!aunt!and!my! brother.!!My!father!died!when!I!was!twelve.!!It!felt! wonderful!to!sleep!on!the!porch.!!During!the!morning! you!could!look!out!on!the!garden!and!the!woods.!!We! had!fifty!acres!of!land.!!! I!was!born!and!brought!up!in!Lincoln.!!My!father! had!a!pig!farm!as!well!as!a!vegetable!garden.!!We!used! to!have!twenty!help,!and!two!thousand!pigs.!!Two! thousand!oinkers.!!When!my!mother!built!the!porch,!my! father!had!passed!away.!!She!liked!the!outside.!!It!was! on!the!first!floor.!!We!had!a!twelvearoom!floor.!!You! could!walk!from!the!porch!right!into!the!kitchen.!!We! had!a!bed!and!a!table!so!we!could!eat!or!play!cards.!!And! we!had!a!chaise!lounge!out!there,!it!was!sixteen!by! twentyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it!was!not!a!small!room.!!During!the!summer,! we!pretty!much!lived!out!there.!!The!late!spring!until!it!

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got!cold!around!October.!!When!you!were!going!to! sleep,!you!could!hear!the!birds!or!other!animals!because! we!were!close!to!the!woods.!!At!that!time,!there!were!no! houses!near!us.!!I!loved!sleeping!out!there.!!The! bedroom!was!real!hot.!!On!the!porch,!the!air!was! circling.! We!had!breakfast!and!dinner!out!there.!!It!wasn’t! much!work!for!my!mom!because!everything!was!right! there,!handy.!!! We!used!to!play!cards!or!entertain.!!My!mother’s! friends!would!come!over!to!play!cards:!!canasta.!!That! was!my!mother’s!favorite!game.!!She!played!that!right! up!to!the!night!she!died.!!And!while!they!played,!they! gossiped,!oh!yeah.!!There!weren’t!many!people!in!the! neighborhood,!so!it!was!always!someone!else!in!the! family!they!would!talk!about.!It!was!out!in!the!country:! threeaquarters!of!a!mile!from!the!nearest!house.!!! It!didn’t!bother!her!to!be!out!there!alone.!!She!knew! we!were!around.!!She!tried!to!carry!on!the!farm!for!two! or!three!months.!The!man!we!left!in!charge!tried!to!steal!

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pigs!from!us.!!So!after!that,!she!sold!out!the!farm.!!My! father!had!taken!out!an!insurance!policy!two!months! before!he!died,!even!though!he!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!believe!in! insurance.!!So!we!lived!on!the!insurance!money!and!the! money!we!got!from!the!land.!!And!I!was!fourteen!at!the! time!and!went!to!work!on!another!farm.!!And!then!when! I!was!sixteen,!I!went!to!work!at!Raytheon!on!the!night! shift.!!! It!meant!a!lot!to!her!because!she!loved!out!on!the! porch,!but!this!way!she!could!walk!right!out!into!the! garden!that!she!liked.!!! !

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! This Illustrated Family Tree Hangs on the Wall of Mike's Apartment

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Christmastime! By!Mike!Shea! ! I!can!always!remember!when!my!father!was!alive! he!always!made!a!big!toado!about!Christmas.!!We!used! to!always!decorate!the!living!room!with!the!tree!and! lights!and!everything!else.!If!we!had!snow!on!the! ground,!he!used!to!take!us!for!a!sled!ride.!!And!my! mother!always!made!a!big!meal.!!Of!course,!we!had!to! provide!for!our!help.!!Sometimes!we!had!ten!in!help! during!the!winter!and!summer!and!we!had!to!feed! them.!!So!they!got!a!holiday!meal!if!they!were!there.!! Turkey,!which!is!why!I!still!like!turkey.!!! After!my!dad!died,!I!was!twelve.!!And!my!mother! tried!to!provide!the!best!way!she!could.!!And!then!after! that,!oftentimes!we!would!not!be!at!home!at!Christmas.! We!would!go!to!my!cousinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!at!Groton!or!Ware,!where! my!motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!family!lived.!!Most!of!the!family!was!there.!! And!my!aunt!would!always!make!a!big!toado.!!!But!when! I!think!of!Christmas,!it!was!the!time!before!my!dad!died,!

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because!that!was!my!familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!Christmas.!!We!had! between!eight!or!ten!in!help!all!the!time.!!They!had!the! back!of!the!house.!!The!outdoor!bathroom!and! everything.!And!when!they!used!to!take!their!shower,! they!had!to!go!out!into!the!garage!and!have!the!hot! water!out!there.!!SO!you!can!imagine!trying!to!take!a! shower!outside!in!the!winter!in!the!freezing!cold.!!The! old!home!is!still!standing.!!The!people!who!have!it!now! made!a!two!family!of!it.!!! ! !

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The Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Shea Family Homestead

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A!Mother’s!Work! By!Mike!Shea! When!my!father!was!alive!we!had!between!8!and! 10!men!working!for!us.!!We!had!a!large!farm.!!We!had! 2000!pigs!and!a!market!garden.! If!we!didn’t!have!a!maid!my!mother!would!get!up!at! five!and!make!breakfast!for!the!men.!!By!six,!she!would! get!my!brother!and!I!breakfast.!!She!would!make!the! bread!and!donuts!on!Saturday.!!She!had!to!clean!all!the! men’s!rooms!as!well!as!our!own.!!She!would!have!to!get! dinner!and!supper.! After!my!father!died!my!brother!was!11!and!I!was! 12.!!My!mother!had!to!work.!!She!could!only!work!a! short!time!as!my!brother!or!I!would!get!sick.!!She!would! do!the!housework!as!well!as!painting!the!woodwork! and!wallpapering.!!She!was!a!very!active!person;!she! liked!politics!as!well!as!traveling.! When!my!brother!went!in!the!service!she!took!sick! and!soon!afterwards!she!passed!away.! !

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!! !! ! ! ! ! ! My!Mother! By!Mike!Shea! We!went!to!Montreal!when!I!was!thirteen.!My! mother!decided!she!wanted!to!take!a!trip,!and!she!did! not!want!to!leave!my!brother!and!I!alone.!So!she!bought! a!new!car,!and!she!invited!my!cousin!and!his!wife!to!go! with!us.!And!we!went!to!Montreal!because!she!wanted! to!buy!a!fur!coat.!The!reason!why!is!she!knew!the!fur! would!be!better!up!there!than!down!here!and!didn't! have!to!pay!the!tax.!She!had!always!wanted!a!fur!coat.!

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She!had!raccoon!and!she!wanted!something!better,!and! I!don't!blame!her.!She!always!wanted!a!mink.!Nothing! but!the!best!for!her.!My!mother!used!to!go!to!different! meetings—the!Republican!club,!and!she!was!also!in!the! nurse's!association!and!they!used!to!have!meetings! every!so!often!in!Waltham.!And!that's!where!she!was! going!to!wear!the!coat.!She!would!also!wear!it!to!church.!! Once!we!were!in!Montreal,!my!mother!wanted!to!tour! the!city.!We!heard!about!the!Brother!Andrew!shrine— people!go!there!to!get!a!blessing!and!get!cured.!I!had!an! uncle!who!went!to!Brother!Andrew!or!something!in! Quebec,!and!when!he!did!he!was!cured.!Although!I!don't! know!of!what!because!I!was!never!told.!But!I!do!know! that!he!left!us!crutches.!So!we!went!to!the!shrine,!and! we!toured!the!city.!We!went!to!the!different!places.!We! went!to!Oktoberfest.!It!was!all!the!German!music,!real! good.!It!had!beer—although!we!were!too!young!at!the! time,!but!my!mother!enjoyed!the!beer.!And!they!had!the! dancing!and!the!food!to!go!with!it.!It's!like!a!holiday!but! it's!yeararound!there;!I've!been!back!there!again.!We!

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went!to!Medieval!Manorâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and!they!had!no!forks!and! spoons!so!we!ate!with!our!hands!and!had!a!meal.!And!I! enjoyed!thatâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it!was!something!different.!We!went!to! different!sightseeing!places!there.!And!when!we!came! back!we!came!through!the!mountains!of!Vermont.!This! was!on!Labor!Day!weekend.!And!the!car!that!we!had! was!a!Packard.!If!we!went!through!a!puddle,!the!car! would!stall.!Because!it!had!no!splash!pan,!which!you! don't!think!of.!But!it!didn't!affect!the!trip!because!my! mother!was!careful!about!going!through!puddles.! Nothing!seemed!strange!about!it!because!we!were! all!together!as!family,!and!it!was!a!good!experience.!It! was!good!to!be!with!the!family,!because!we!didn't!take! many!trips!together!after!that!because!it!was!during!the! war!and!there!was!gas!rationing.! !

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A Pastel Portrait of Young Mike Made Not Long Before the Trip to Montreal

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My!mother!was!a!very!independent!woman.!She! didn't!want!to!be!dependent!on!many!people.!She! learned!after!my!father!died!that!she!had!to!be!on!her! own.!She!was!a!nurse,!and!she!really!wanted!to!become! a!doctor.!But!my!brother!and!I!were!in!the!way,!so!that! put!an!end!to!it.!But!my!father!wanted!to!give!her!the! money!to!go.!I!have!to!give!her!a!lot!of!credit!because! she!did!a!lot!of!work!to!keep!the!three!of!us!going.!(And! every!time!she'd!try!to!go!to!work!either!my!brother!or!I! would!take!sick.)!She!only!worked!for!a!few!months! after!my!dad!died!because!she!had!enough!trouble! taking!care!of!my!brother!and!I!because!one!or!the!other! of!us!was!sick!all!the!time.!When!I!was!recovering!from! one!thing,!he'd!come!down!with!something!else.! My!mother!died!the!year!I!was!married.!We'd! postponed!our!wedding!because!my!brother!was!over! in!Korea.!We!waited!until!he!came!back!to!have!our! wedding.!He!came!back!at!Christmas,!and!we!were! married!on!Valentine's!Day.!And!my!mother!died!in!may! the!year!before.!!

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The!Foods!of!Childhood! By!Mike!Shea! ! I!can!remember!as!a!child!my!mother!would!cook! her!own!bacon!and!eggs.!!She!would!eat!breakfast!by! herself!as!she!would!also!her!toast!and!coffee.!!Then!she! could!start!her!day.! She!would!make!oatmeal,!bacon,!egg,!toast,!donuts,! and!coffee!for!our!help.!!My!mother!never!bought!bread! until!I!was!twelve.!!She!cooked!for!eight!or!ten!men!and! then!get!my!father!and!brother!breakfast.!!When!we!had! no!maid!she!would!do!it!all.! Breakfast!was!her!main!meal.!!She!cooked!the!other! meals.!!We!always!had!plenty!of!food.!!We!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!have! too!many!groceries.! !

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A!Memorable!Teacher,! By!Mike!Shea! ! I!liked!my!fourth!grade!teacher!as!she!tried!to!help! us!as!much!as!possible.!!She!taught!geography,!history,! English,!and!math.!!She!held!the!attention!of!us!all!so!we! would!be!able!to!get!the!most!benefit.!My!class!was!the! smallest.!There!were!twenty!in!the!class.! She!also!played!softball!with!us!and!took!us!to!the! De!Cordova!Museum.!!Mr.!De!Cordova!was!alive!at!the! time!we!went!to!the!museum!on!a!class!trip.!!He!had! been!a!glass!blower!and!came!from!Spain.!!He!explained! that!he’d!come!to!this!country!when!he!was!a!little!boy.! !My!fourth!grade!teacher!also!took!us!to!the! Franklin!Park!Zoo,!where!we!saw!giraffes!and!camels! and!lions.!!I’d!never!been!there!before,!but!I’d!seen! enough!animals!back!home!at!the!farm.!!What!do!you! need!more!animals!for?!!So!I!thought!the!best!part!was! all!the!gardens!with!different!types!of!flowers.!!I!always!

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liked!walking!in!the!garden!at!home,!and!when!I!saw!the! gardens!at!the!zoo,!it!gave!me!ideas!on!landscaping.! !

162

!Playing!Hooky!at!Scully!Square!

By!Mike!Shea! I!can!remember!skipping! school!in!my!senior!year.!!There! were!five!of!us!and!we!went!to! Boston!to!the!burlesque!show.!!I! was!seventeen.!!!In!those!days,! they!let!anyone!in.!!It!was!old,! dark,!and!dingy.!!They!used!to!sell!

pictures.!!I!wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!dare!to!buy!anything.! ! It! started!off! with!single! women:! they!had! feathers,! but!very! little!clothes.!!A!girl!would!come!out!in!feathers,!a!gown,!

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and!long!gloves!that!she’d!take!off!one!at!a!time.!!Then! she’d!take!the!dress!off!and!start!dancing.!!They!never! completely!stripped,!but!you!could!see!their!breasts.!! Sally!Keith!was!the!famous!dancer!with!the!feather.!! We!all!thought!it!was!great!until!we!got!home.!!My! mother!told!me!that!the!superintendent!called!to!see!if!I! was!O.K.!!My!mother!didn’t!know!what!to!say.!!I!told!her! and!she!called!the!school,!and!for!punishment!we!had!to! stay!after!school!for!a!week.!!I!was!embarrassed,!but!my! mother!said!it’s!all!just!part!of!growing!up.! That!taught!me!never!to!skip!school!again.! !

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Sally Keith

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! My!First!Job! By!Mike!Shea!

The!first!partatime!job!I!had!was!working!at! Raytheon!from!3a10.!!It!was!quite!an!experience!trying! to!keep!up!the!homework!and!working.!!The!job!I!had! was!not!educational;!it!was!working!in!the!salvage! department.!!It!was!during!the!war.!!When!the!war!was! over!I!got!laid!off.!!The!part!that!bothered!me!was!the! traveling.!!It!was!an!experience.! !

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!My!First!Date!

By!Mike!Shea!

When!I!was!working!at!a!hotel!in!St.!Petersburg,! Florida,!I!met!a!girl.!!On!our!date!we!talked!about!where! we!were!from.!!She!was!from!Brooklyn,!N.Y,!and!I,!of! course,!was!from!Massachusetts.!!We!went!for!a!walk! along!the!beach!so!she!told!me!a!little!about!her! background.!!She!was!a!waitress!and!she!was!thinking! about!making!it!as!a!job.! On!our! second!date! we!went!to! the!movies,! and!after!we! went!to!eat.!! We!had!a!lot! in!common.!! We!enjoyed!one!anotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!company.!!We!went!for!walks! along!the!beach!and!going!out!to!eat.!

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When!I!left!in!March!she!stayed!until!April!when! the!hotel!closed!and!we!corresponded!for!a!while.!!I! heard!no!more!from!her.! !

168

Let’s!Go!! By!Mike!Shea! ! ! In!1939,!when!I!was!12,!my!mother,! aunt,!and!uncle!and!I!went!to!the!New! York!World’s!Fair.!!!My!uncle!had!never! been!to!New!York!City!and!had!always! wanted!to!go.!!So!he!asked!my!mother,!and! she!said,!“Let’s!go!”!We!went!by!train.!!It!was!my!first! train!ride.!!It!rained!during!the!trip.!!We!stayed!at!the! Statler!Hotel.! I’d!lived!all!of!my!life!as!a!country!boy—I!was! amazed!to!see!all!the!lights,!traffic,!and!buildings!in!the! city.!!My!uncle!went!to!the!stock!market!in!the!morning! and!the!horse!races!in!the!afternoon.!

169

The! second!day! we!went!to! the! fairgrounds! to!see!the! displays.!! ! While!there!we!saw!our!first!TV!show.!!It!was!very! interesting.!

! 170

My!mother!was! interested!in!the!TV.!! Soon!after!we!got!home! she!bought!one.!It!was! a!big!wooden!box!with! a!tempting!black!and! white!case.!!It!was!a! Dumont!T.V.!and!had!a! console!with!a!radio! and!record!player!as! well.!!My!mother! wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!settle!for!less.! We!also!saw!a!car!show!and!other!displays.!!We! had!to!sample!some!of!the!food!from!other!countries.!! We!stayed!another!day!taking!in!all!the!displays.!!! When!we!got!ready!to!leave!my!uncle!decided!we! should!go!back!home!by!boat.!!We!went!on!the!boat!and! saw!the!Statue!of!Liberty.!!We!went!through!the!Cape! Cod!Canal!at!sunrise.!!It!was!very!interesting.!!It!was!a! trip!I!wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!forget.!

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My!Wedding! By!Mike!Shea! ! Our!wedding!was!on!February!14,!1954.!!We!were! married!at!an!Irish!Catholic!Church!in!Waltham.!!We! had!our!reception!at!a!Jewish!Temple!in!Waltham.!! There!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!another!hall!in!Waltham!to!accommodate! 500!people.!My!Italian!motherainalaw!and!my!wifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s! aunts!made!all!the!sandwiches!and!pastries,!including! Italian!cookies!and!rum!cake.!!The!only!thing!we!had!to! buy!was!the!wedding!cake!and!the!liquor.!!A!friend!of! my!wife!supplied!the!music:!waltzes!and!the!other! music!of!that!era.! For!our!honeymoon!we! went!to!Florida.!!We!went!to! Cypress!Gardens,!Silver! Springs,!Bok!Tower!(the! singing!tower),!and!also! Alligator!Alley!and!other!places.!! We!had!an!enjoyable!trip.! ! 173

A Portrait of Mike's Wife

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A!Memorable!Trip!to!California! By!Mike!Shea! ! In!1988,!my!wife!retired!from!being!a!dental! assistant!and!her!boss!gave!her!a!check!to!travel!any! place!of!her!choice.!!We!picked!California.!It!was! someplace!we’d!always!wanted!to!go!and!my!cousin!had! an!apartment!we!could!stay!in,!so!it!was!perfect.!!! We!began!by!going!to!Oakland!for!five!days!and! stayed!with!my!cousin,!whose!home!faced!San!Francisco! Bay.!!While!there,!he!and!his!wife!took!us!on!a!tour!of! San!Francisco!and!my!wife!and!I!also!travelled!around! there!on!our!own!We!toured!fisherman’s!wharf!and!the! Golden!Gate!Bridge.!!One!of!my!favorite!things!was! riding!the!cable!cars!because!they!were!so!different! from!the!buses!and!streetcars!in!Massachusetts.!!The! cable!cars!were!open!to!the!air—you!could!see! everything,!feel!the!wind!in!your!face,!and!watch!people! jump!off!and!on!as!the!cars!came!to!a!stop.!

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Next!we!went!to!the!Napa!Valley!and!stayed!in!a! friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!condo.!!We!drove!to!all!the!wineries!and!I! sampled!the!wares!of!each!one!along!the!way.!!But!with! the!amount!they!gave!you!to!taste,!it!never!bothered! you!so!you!could!still!enjoy!all!the!beautiful!scenery.! !

176

! Then!we!went!back!to!San!Francisco!and!took!a!bus! tour!down!the!coast!of!California.!!Unfortunately,! because!of!flooding!we!could!not!ride!along!the! shoreline.!!But!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll!always!remember!how!beautiful!it! was!to!see!all!the!almond!trees!in!blossom.!!They!were! pink!all!over.!!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll!also!always!remember!going!to! Yosemite!in!a!snowstorm.!!While!we!ate!at!the!lodge! 177

there!a!coyote!came!to!our!window.!!In!the!morning,!we! had!to!put!our!luggage!out!for!the!bus!driver!and!there! were!bear!tracks!at!our!door.! We!also!saw!Pebble!Beach,!Monterey,!Solvang,!and! Santa!Barbara.!!I!wasn’t!impressed!by!Hearst!castle! because!to!me!it!was!nothing,!just!very!cold.!!It!wasn’t!a! house;!you!wouldn’t!want!to!live!there.!!But!Reagan’s! house,!which!we!also!saw)!at!least!from!the!outside),! was!very!nice.! When!we!arrived!back!at!LA!my!wife!and!I!found! out!we!had!no!reservations.!!Luckily,!we!were!able!to! get!the!last!room!available!at!the!hotel.!!It!was!the!most!I! ever!paid!for!a!room:!$225.!!It!was!on!the!seventh!and! from!that!height!we!could!see!the!airport!where!we’d!be! going!the!next!day.!! It!was!an!unforgettable!trip—and!the!best!two! weeks!! !

178

My!Life!With!Knitting!Needles! By!Mike!Shea! !

When!I!was! living!in!Maynard! about!ten!years! ago!my!neighbor! asked!me!if!I!could! knit.!!I!said!yes.!!So!

Mike Keeps His Knitting Supplies Right Next to His Favorite Chair

she!asked!me!to!

make!a!baby!blanket.!!She!gave!me!the!pattern,!and!I!did! it.! Since!then,!I!have!made!scarves,!baby!blankets,! king!and!queen!size!afghans!and!also!lap!size.! In!addition!to!giving!and!selling!them!to!people! locally,!I!have!also!sold!my!work!to!people!in!Nevada! and!Florida.!I!find!it!very!relaxingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and!it!also!helps!to! keep!both!the!fingers!and!mind!active.! Whenever!anyone!wants!me,!I!would!be!happy!to! oblige!! 179

Mike Displaying a Sample of His Knitting

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! 181

! ! ! !

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! !

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! ! ! ! ! Sandra!Wallace!

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! ! 186

The!Hallway! ! By!Sandra!Wallace! ! It!was!in!the!month!of!December!nearing!Christmas!time! that!my!oldest!brother!Charles!heard!someone!talking!about! Christmas!plans!through!the!grate!in!the!upstairs!hallway!as!he! went!to!bed.!Charles!being!the!oldest!decided!to!get!my!brother! Bobby!and!me!up!to!listen!to!what!was!being!said,!and!so!when! he!came!to!us!we!thought!more!ears!were!better!than!one,!and! we!all!wanted!to!know!what!was!going!on!and!of!course!what! we!might!be!getting!for!Christmas!we!already!had!passed!the! Santa!Clause!stage!except!for!our!littlest!brother!Dennis!who! was!asleep!in!his!bed.!! The!hallway!was!dark!and!the!heat!from!the!stove!down! stairs!rose!through!the!grate!to!the!floor!upstairs!to!heat!our! bedrooms.!As!we!lay!there!on!the!floor!next!to!the!grate!our! faces!began!to!get!hot!as!the!heat!rose.!So!one!by!one!we!went! to!our!beds!and!got!our!pillows!and!put!them!on!the!floor!near! the!grate!to!block!out!some!of!the!heat.!Which!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!really! work!very!well!because!you!could!still!feel!the!heat!rising!near! the!edges!of!the!pillow!near!where!we!needed!to!be!to!hear! what!was!said!down!stairs,!but!it!was!better!than!the!hard! wood!floor.!! 187

The!pillows!became!warm!and!comfortable.!And!as!time! past!we!were!getting!sleepy!from!the!warm!heat!as!we!tried!to! listen!intently.!Bobby!got!tired!and!went!to!bed.!Charles!and! me!stayed!on!to!listen!and!as!the!heat!rose!slowly!we!fell! asleep.! !When!our!parents!were!going!to!bed!they!found!us! asleep!on!the!floor!near!the!grate,!then!woke!us!up!and!guided! us!to!our!beds.! !The!next!morning!when!we!came!down!stairs!to! breakfast.!We!were!faced!with!our!parents!looking!at!us.!From! Mom!came!the!question:!“!What!do!you!think!you!were!doing! last!night!in!the!hallway”?!Scared!and!afraid!we!might!get! yelled!at!or!punished!no!one!spoke!we!just!looked!at!each!with! fear!in!our!eyes!and!clenched!hands.!Then!Mom!spoke!again,!“!I! suspect!you!were!trying!to!listen!to!what!was!going!on!down! stairs!through!the!grate.!So!from!now!on!!“The!hallway!is!out!of! bounce.!!Or!no!Christmas.”! Whew!we!were!safe!after!the!scolding!naturally!that! didn’t!stop!us.!We!still!wanted!to!hear!what!was!going!on!so!we! decided!we!would!take!turns!for!a!little!while.!After!a!few!days! of!disappointments!because!we!heard!nothing!we!decided!they! must!have!moved!to!another!room!to!talk.!So!we!went!back!to! sleeping!in!our!own!beds.!We!never!did!find!out!what!they! 188

were!saying!or!what!we!were!getting!until!Christmas!morning.!

189

A!Day!with!Grandmother!Lillian!Wiles! By!Sandra!Wallace! ! !!As!I!look!through!some!pictures!of!my!grandparents!and! aunts!with!my!brothers!and!me,!I!begin!to!remember!how! much!I!loved!to!visit!her.!! I!was!8!or!9!when!I!began!to!know!a!little!bit!about!my! grandmother!Wiles!My!mom!told!me!now!that!I!was!older!I! could!visit!my!grandmother!on!my!own.!!After!she!dropped!me! off!at!the!Bus!station!I!would!take!the!bus!that!ran!from! Marlborough!to!Fay!Vile.!!At!the!bus!stop!I!would!wait!patiently! on!the!bench!outside!the!bus!stop!with!the!other!passengers! who!were!going!to!get!on!the!bus!with!me.!I!was!so!excited!as! the!bus!arrived!I!could!hardly!wait!in!line!to!get!on.!As!I!walked! up!the!steps!to!the!bus!driver!I!took!my!money!out!of!my!little! purse!and!gave!it!to!the!driver!then!sat!half!way!down!the!big! long!bus!near!the!window!where!I!could!watch!everything!go! by.!! Out!the!window!you!would!see!all!kinds!of!houses!and! trees!that!line!the!road!every!once!in!a!while!he!would!stop!to! pick!up!passenger,!there!was!a!large!lake!you!could!see!from! both!sides!of!the!bus!windows!as!we!drove!down!the!road.!It!

190

seemed!like!it!took!forever!to!get!to!grandma’s!house.!As!I! daydreamed!on!the!bus!overlooking!the!lake!we!passed!by!I! thought!it!would!be!nice!to!go!swimming!in!it.!! !!Her!street!was!next!to!the!railroad!track!and!when!the! bus!crossed!it!you!knew!you!were!at!Grandma’s!house.!I!could! hardly!wait!to!get!off!the!bus!and!run!up!the!hill!to!the!house.! In!my!enthusiasm!I!pooped!out!while!running.!It!was!such!a! long!and!dirty!road!that!I!ended!up!trudging!slowly!half!way!up! the!hill!instead!of!running!while!carrying!my!purse!and!over! night!bag.! ! !! !! ! ! ! ! !

Sandra’s Grandparents and Aunt Carol

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Clockwise From Top Left: Sandra's Father, Mother, Grandfather, Grandmother, Aunt Carol, And Sandra (Mugging)

! The!house!was!brown!and!had!four!rooms,!a!porch,!and!a! cellar.!There!was!also!a!garden!on!the!hill!behind!the!house!to! the!garage.! As!you!entered!the!home,!you!were!faced!with!the!cellar! door;!it!was!always!dark,!cold!and!scary!with!spider!webs! hanging!from!the!ceiling!where!they!stored!food!and!things! down!in!the!dirt!basement.!I!never!went!down!there.!Once!you! passed!the!door!to!the!left!was!the!kitchen.!(MY!favorite!spot.)! My!grandmother!was!always!in!the!kitchen!where!it!was!warm! and!smelled!like!apple!pie;!she!was!always!cooking!something! good!for!us!to!eat.!When!it!was!dinnertime!she!never!sat!with! us!but!always!fed!us!first!then!after!we!ate!and!left!the!table!

192

she!would!sit!down!and!have!her!own!dinner!with!my! grandfather.!It!was!strange!to!me!because!at!home!we!always! ate!together.!But!with!seven!children!to!feed!I!guess!it!was! normal.!!When!I!visited!my!Aunt!Eleanor!in!Alabama!years! later!I!noticed!she!still!did!this!with!her!family.!! !

Aunt Eleanor's Family

! Aunt Eleanor

!! On!the!other!side!of!the!kitchen!was!grandmaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!bedroom;! you!had!to!get!to!the!bathroom!by!going!into!her!bedroom.!As! you!entered!on!the!right!it!had!a!big!bed!you!had!to!pass!to!get! to!the!bathroom.!There!was!a!bureau!with!a!mirror!and!a! nightstand!the!walls!were!plain!with!a!picture!on!it!the!

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windows!had!faded!white!curtains.!I!was!a!little!afraid!to!go!in! there!to!get!to!the!bathroom!because!you!had!to!pass!the!bed.! My!memories!of!my!step!dad!had!crept!in!and!I!really! didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!know!my!fathers!family!until!I!started!visiting!them!on! my!own!and!felt!safe!there.! Grandma!took!in!laundry!to!help!out,!twentyafive!cents!a! shirt.!They!were!hanging!everywhere!in!the!kitchen!and!you! could!smell!the!clean!white!shirts!as!they!hung!to!dry.!There! was!also!a!big!black!iron!stove!where!she!would!put!her!heavy! iron!on,!to!get!it!hot.!It!was!fun!to!fetch!the!wood!for!the!stove! and!see!her!stoke!the!fire!and!watch!the!flames!pop!out!at!the! top!of!the!stove!as!they!rose.!When!the!flame!got!too!high!she! lifted!the!round!iron!piece!that!lay!beside!the!hole!with!a!big! black!iron!stick!to!cover!the!fire.! As!you!left!the!kitchen!and!looked!toward!the!parlor!there! was!another!room!that!looked!sort!of!like!a!hallway!as!you! headed!into!the!living!room.!As!you!entered!the!room!you!had! to!pass!by!two!large!blankets!hanging!from!the!ceiling!one!on! each!side.!Behind!those!blankets!were!large!beds,!one!for!my! uncles!and!one!for!my!aunts!to!sleep!in.!

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When!I!got!to!stay!over!I!could!sleep!with!my!aunts!on! one!side,!while!my!uncles!were!on!the!other.!There!were!four! to!a!bed.!That!was!fun! because!we!could! cuddle!and!fight!for!the! middle!of!the!bed!at! home!I!had!to!sleep! alone!in!my!own!room.! My!aunts!told!me!they! wanted!to!change! places!with!me!so!they! could!have!their!own! bed!and!rooms.! !

! As!you!entered!

the!living!room! (parlor)!the!furniture! Clockwise, from top left: Sandraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grandmother, Aunt Ruth, Sandra, and Sandraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Aunt Carol

was!old!and!well!used! it!was!covered!with!a!

blanket,!there!was!and!old!radio!that!everyone!listened!to,!my! grandmother!would!always!sit!in!the!old!rocking!chair!and! read!to!us.!One!of!my!aunts!was!my!age!and!we!played! together,!with!our!dolls!and!on!the!grass!outside!the!house!we! 195

would!roll!down!the!hill.!I!can!remember!many!wonderful! times!at!my!grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!house.!I!miss!those!wonderful! times!and!still!look!up!the!hill!as!I!drive!by!where!she!used!to! live!in!Fay!Ville!Mass.!The!house!still!stands!to!this!day!and!as!I! pass!by!occasionally!it!brings!back!fond!memories.! !

Left to right: Sandra's brothers Charles and Robert, Aunt Carol, and Sandra herself standing in front of Sandra's mother.

! ! !

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THE!WILES!GENEALOGY! !

Sandra's father (top row in dark sweater) with his parents and siblings.

! My!Aunt!Ruth,!who!lives!in!Holiday,!Florida,!sent!me!this! information!on!my!fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!family.!She!wrote!that!my!granda! parents!came!to!America!from!Nova!Scotia/Russia.!Their! genealogy!started!at!the!time!of!King!Arthur,!when!one!of!my! forefathers!fought!in!the!crusade.! ! !

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Genealogy!of!My!Father’s!Mother:!! Lillian!Marie!Johnson!Wiles! !!!!!!!!!!! Joseph!&!Amelia!Johnson!Lived!in!Sweden,!then!Finland! and!came!to!USA!on!vacation.!My!grandmother!Lillian!Marie! Johnson!Wiles!was!born!on!4a18a1896!in!Pueblo!Colorado.! While!her!parents!were!on!vacation.!Her!parents!returned!to! Sweden!when!she!was!six!months!old.!Then!came!back!when! she!was!3!yrs.!Old!and!again!when!Lillian!was!sixteen!at!that! time!Lillian!decided!to!stay!in!Worcester!Ma!with!her!aunt! while!her!folks!went!back!to!Finland.!Lillian!never!returned!to! Finland!or!Sweden.! ! My!grandmother!Lillian!met!her!husband!to!be,!Charles! Wiles!while!on!a!visit!to!Randstrom’s!Store!in!Framingham! Mass.!Charles!lived!with!his!uncle!Otis!Wiles!next!to! Randstrom’s.!He!met!Lillian!when!he!worked!as!an!electric!car! conductor!on!the!Boston!to!Worcester!route.!! They!married!on!July!26th!1918.! When!she!died!in!1996,!she!was!buried!in!Southborough! MA.!! She!had!two!half!siblings:!Albin!Hendrickson,!a!halfa brother,!and!Anne!Hendrickson,!a!halfasister.!! 198

! Genealogy!of!My!Father’s!Father! ! Aunt!Beatrice!(Albee)!Wiles!said!his!father’s!ancestors! came!from!Germany.!They!fought!with!Alexander!the!Great!in! King!Arthur’s!Army!then!changed!and!went!with!King!Richard! of!England.!When!King!Richard!was!killed!they!went!after!his! followers!and!the!family!had!to!leave!England!so!the!Wiles! went!to!Hans!County,!Halifax!Nova!Scotia.!! !!

When!Aunt!Lillian!Carol!Wiles!Ferrette!went!to!

check!on!her!birth!certificate!in!Pueblo,!Colorado,!she!was!told! the!records!were!all!destroyed!in!a!fire!in!Halifax!Nova!Scotia.!! As!a!ship!blew!up!in!the!Harbor,!it!burned!the!whole!town!with! all!the!family!records.!! !!!Charles!Earl!Gibson!Wiles!came!to!the!United!States!at! age!14!in!1897!after!both!his!parents!died.!He!lived!with!his! Aunt!Beatrice.!Some!time!later!he!went!to!Akron!Ohio.!There! he!worked!for!Singer!Sewing!Machine!Company!demonstrating! a!small!sewing!machine!on!a!flat!bed!truck.!He!also!was!a! welterweight!fighter!until!he!got!knocked!out!at!a!fight!in! Milford!Mass.!He!worked!and!lived!at!Willow!Brook!Farm!in! Southborough!Mass.!where!my!grandmother!was!a! housekeeper!and!he!worked!the!farm!until!the!owners!died.! 199

Then!they!moved!to!Fay!Ville!Ma.!Where!my!grandfather!built! their!house!on!Learned!St.!He!also!was!a!carpenter.!! ! !

!! Genealogy!of!My!Fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!Father:!! Charles!Earl!Gibson!Wiles! ! Halifax!Nova!Scotia! Charles!E.!Gibson!Wiles:!Born,!1/4/1883;!died,!7/9/1959! at!the!age!of!76.! Leandis!!Wiles!!!!!!!!!!!!British!Columbia! Whitfield!Wiles.!!!!!!!!!!Berlin!N.H.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Chick!Farm).! Herbert!Wiles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Westborough!Ma.!!!!!Railroad! Worker! Eva!(Ernest)!Wiles!!!!!Born!in!Framingham!Ma.!! Beatrice!(Albee)!Wiles.!!!Marlborough!Mass.! Otis!Wiles.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Fay!Ville!Mass.!(first!blacksmith!in! Fay!Ville!Mass).! ! ! !

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My!grandparents!Charles!and!Lillian!Wiles!had!nine! Children.! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

The Children of Charles and Lillian Wiles (clockwise from top left): Harold, David, Bobbby, Sandra's Father Charles, Ruth, Eleanor, Carol

! My!grandparents!had!nine!children,!five!girls!and!four! boys.! ! Charles!Earl!Wiles.!!My!father!born!on!7/26/1920!died!in! 1/5/1983!he!was!63!years!old.! ! 201

Ruth!May!Wiles!Born!on!5/3/1922!is!91!years!old!as!of! 2013!Lives!in!Holiday!Fl.! ! Robert!Irving!Wiles!born!on!2/13/1924!!!died!in! 2/5/1989!he!was!65!years!old.! ! Richard!Allen!Wiles!born!on!1/a/1928!died!in!1929!he! was!an!infant.! !! Eleanor!Irene!Wiles!Howell!born!on!1/25/1933.!Is!80! years!old!as!of!2013!Lives!in!Huntsville!Ala.! ! David!Allen!Wiles!born!on! 10/1/1935!is!78!years!old!as!of! 2013!Lives!in!Southborough,! Mass.! ! Harold!Gibson!Wiles!Born! on!4/28/1937!died!in!8/28/! 2010.!He!was!73!years!old.! Harold Wiles on Left, David Wiles on Right

Lillian!Carol!Wiles!Fernette!Born!on!4/17/42!is!71!years! old!as!of!2013!Live!in!Colorado!Springs,!Co.! 202

! Hazel!Marie! Wiles!born!on! 10/22/1926!died! at!13!years!of!age! when!she!was! killed!by!hit!and! run!car!on! 10/24/1939.! ! !

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Mémé!and!the!Water!Hose! By!Sandra!Wallace! ! Because!my!mom!had!to!work!after!my!father!left,!her! mom!came!to!live!with!us.!! !So!I!had!a!chance!to!grow!with,!my!grandmother!{Mémé),! along!with!my!mother!and!my!three!brothers!Charles,!Robert! and!Dennis.!! ! Our!Grandmother,!Mémé,!was!our!babysitter!and!also! looked!after!my!Aunt!June’s!two!boys!Lance!and!Rickie.!We! were!all!about!the!same!age!except!for!Dennis!he!was!five! years!younger!than!the!rest!of!us.!Charles!was!the!oldest!and! then!came!me,!and!my!cousin!Lance,!Then!Robert!and!Rickie.! We!were!a!handful!one!girl!and!five!boys!especially!since! mémé!was!no!spring!chicken!at!the!time.!! My!oldest!brother,!Chuck,!was!a!little!more!adventurous! than!the!rest!of!us.!He!was!probably!eleven!or!so!when!he! decided!to!smoke!cigarettes.!One!day!we!caught!him!sitting!on! the!edge!of!the!loft!in!the!garage!with!his!legs!hanging!smoking! a!cigarette.!When!surprised!by!us!seeing!him!up!upon!the!ledge!

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of!the!loft!in!the!garage,!he!immediately!invited!us!to!come!up! and!smoke!with!him.!! Since!mémé!was!babysitting!our!cousins!Lance!and! Rickie,!Chuck!invited!them!to!come!also.! As!we!entered!the!garage!there!it!was!on!the!sidewall!a! rickety!old!ladder!to!get!up!to!the!loft!the!excitement!of!seeing! the!ladder!rose!within!us.! One!by!one!we!snuck!up!the!rickety!old!ladder.!As!we! reached!the!level!of!the!loft!we!had!to!turn!our!bodies!around! facing!our!backs!to!the!ladder!with!our!heels!on!the!rung!our! arms!and!chest!stretched!out!to!lay!them!onto!the!floor!of!the! platform,!as!we!pulled!and!dragged!the!other!half!of!our!body! onto!the!loft.!We!were!real!scared!as!the!excitement!rose! because!if!you!missed!grabbing!onto!the!loft’s!floor!you!could! fall!to!the!cement!floor.! !Finally!we!made!it!and!crawled!around!the!dusty!old! boxes!on!our!hands!and!knees!weaving!around!boxes!until!we! finally!reached!the!edge!where!we!could!sit!up!with!our!legs! hanging!over!with!Chuck!to!have!our!very!first!drag!of!a! cigarette!where!mémé!couldn’t!see!us.!We!knew!mémé!was! busy!with!our!younger!brother!preparing!lunch!for!all!of!us!in! the!kitchen!we!knew!we!were!safe!for!a!while.!!

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Throwing!caution!to!the!wind!and!excitement!rising!we! waited!for!Chuck!to!light!up!the!cigarette,!and!one!by!one!we! inhaled!the!smelly!smoking!thing!making!all!kinds!of!puckering! faces!as!we!inhaled.!I!myself!could!not!get!the!cigarette!to!my! mouth!because!the!smoke!kept!going!into!my!eyes!so!in! frustration!I!gave!it!up!and!stopped!trying.!! !All!of!a!sudden!Mémé!was!calling!us!to!dinner.!No!one! answered!and!after!she!went!back!into!the!house!like!little! mischievous!sinners!we!crawl!back!to!where!we!had!to!reach! across!the!opening!to!the!ladder!and!hope!we!wouldn’t!fall.! Down!the!ladder!we!went!one!by!one!and!went!into!the!house.! Because!we!were!caught!off!guard,!my!brother!panicked,!and! left!the!cigarette!burning!on!the!floor!of!the!loft!in!the!garage.!! !When!we!went!back!outdoors!to!play!the!loft!was!on!fire.! We!screamed!for!mémé!to!call!the!fire!department!except!she! came!out!to!see!what!was!the!matter!and!in!a!panic!instead!of! going!into!the!house!to!call!the!fire!department!she!grabbed! the!hose!from!Chuck!who!had!already!got!the!hose!out!and! tried!to!put!the!fire!out!herself!as!the!fire!swiftly!rose!to!the! roof!of!the!garage.!So!I!ran!into!the!house!and!called!the!fire! department!for!her.!

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! Well!you!can!guess! what!happened!after! Mémé!called!my!mother! and!aunt!June.!We!were! all!in!hot!water.!At!this! point!I!don’t!remember! what!the!punishment!was! except!to!stay!out!off!the! garage,!and!instructions! not!to!upset!mémé!like! that!again.!And!for!a!while! our!cousins!did!not!come! to!our!house.! ! As!for!me!I!never! attempted!to!smoke!a! cigarette!since.!My! brothers!and!cousins! were!a!different!story.!!

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!Brother!Dennis!and!the!Baked!Beans!

By!Sandra!Wallace!

On!Saturdays!we!would!always!have!baked!beans! and!hot!dogs,!on!hot!toasted!hot!dog!rolls!with!mustard,! relish,!and!sometimes!with!ketchup!and!onions.!Mom! would!soak!the!navy!pee!beans!overnight,!and!the!next! morning,!she!would!drain!water!into!another!pot!and! save!it!for!later!then!sort!out!the!bad!beans.!Then!she! would!put!them!in!a!bean!pot.!{That!bean!pot!was!used! over!and!over!again!for!making!baked!beans.!It!was!her! mothers!past!down!to!her!then!to!me}.!! She!prepared!the!beans!early!in!the!morning.! Inside!the!bean!pot!went!the!beans,!Grandmas!molasses! it!had!a!deed!dark!color.!You!could!smell!the!sweetness! and!aroma!as!she!poured!it!over!the!white!pea!beans.!! Then!came!a!big!piece!of!salt!pork!fat,!brown!sugar!and! chopped!onions.!If!the!pot!needed!extra!water!to!cover! the!beans!she!would!use!the!bean!soaked!water!that! was!set!aside!to!cover!the!beans.! 209

Then!she!placed!the!bean!pot!in!the!oven!at!a!low! temperature!to!cook!all!day.!You!could!smell!the!aroma! of!baked!beans!all!over!the!house!by!suppertime!it! made!you!feel!real!hungry.!!! ! !

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Dennis Making a Face

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So!on!this!Saturday!evening!my!younger!brother! Dennis!who!was!seven!years!younger!than!me!decided! he!did!not!like!beans!and!wouldn’t!eat!them.!! !My!mom!said!to!him!you!get!nothing!else!to!eat! until!you!eat!those!beans,!and!if!you!don’t!eat!the!beans! you!will!have!them!for!breakfast!the!next!morning.! Dennis!sat!at!the!table!with!a!sad!and!anguished! face!moving!his!hand!from!one!cheek!to!another!with! his!body!fidgeting!staring!at!those!awful!beans!until!it! was!bedtime.!!Mémé!looked!on!wanting!to!say! something!to!my!mother!but!didn’t!and!because!she! couldn’t!watch!anymore!she!went!into!another!room.! !In!the!morning!when!we!all!came!down!for! breakfast!they!were!still!there!all!warmed!over!again.!As! we!watched!our!younger!brother!give!into!a!couple!of! bites.!My!mom!said,!“Okay,!from!now!on!when!I!serve! something!you!will!eat!it.!Or!you!will!get!it!the!next! day.”!So!we!learnt!how!to!eat!all!different!kinds!of!foods! we!did!not!like.!!!

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One!thing!we!learned!about!my!mom!was!that!even! if!you!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!like!what!was!being!served!you!had!to!eat!it! anyway.!Because!if!you!were!invited!anywhere!it!would! be!impolite!to!thumb!your!nose!at!what!was!being! served.!And!so!when!we!went!to!visit!someone!and!they! served!us!food!we!had!no!trouble!in!eating!anything! that!was!served.! !I!wonder!if!my!brother!remembers!those!beans!as! much!as!I!do?! Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!another!story.! !

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The!Little!Girl!Lost!

By!Sandra!Wallace! The!little!girl!lost!was!the! only!girl!in!her!family.!Her! bedroom!was!decorated!in!pink! floral!wallpaper.!Her!ceiling!was! slanted!with!the!alignment!of!the! roof;!her!bed!was!decorated!with! a!pink!puffy!blanket!and!some!of!

her!favorite!dolls.!When!she!lay!down!on!the!bed,!she! could!see!the!bedroom!door!that!opened!into!the! hallway.!Next!to!the!door!was!a!large!tall!bureau!and!on! the!opposite!side!of!the!door!was!a!small!curtain!closet! where!she!would!hang!her!dresses!and!coats!and!place! her!favorite!doll!collections.! As!she!would!glance!on!the!sidewall!across!from! her!bed!she!could!see!an!unusual!small!closet!door!that! has!a!latchkey.!It!was!set!up!off!the!floor!and!was!where! she!used!to!hang!her!blouses,!skirts!and!other!things.!!

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The!back!of!the!closet!was!also!slanted!like!the!one!over! her!bed!and!it!was!wide!enough!at!the!bottom!to!lay! down!and!hide!when!she!played!hide!and!seek!with!her! brothers.! !The!room!also!had!a!large!vanity!bureau!with!a!big! round!mirror!with!sculptured!dark!mahogany!wood!all! around!it,!which!was!her!grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.!There!she! would!pretend!she!was!grown!up!and!comb!her!hair.!! There!were!windows!on!each!side!of!the!vanity!with! sheer!curtains!pulled!back!with!tie!bows.!There!the!little! girl!would!sit!on!the!windowsill!and!gaze!out!the! window!for!hours.! ! One!day!the!little!girl!was!sitting!on!the!ledge!of!the! windowsill!as!she!often!did,!watching!her!friends!pass! by!chatting!and!laughing.!!She!longed!to!be!with!them! and!wondered!why!she!was!so!different!from!them.! When!she!was!with!them!she!was!happy!as!they!would! walk!with!their!doll!carriages!and!dolls!and!stop!at!each! otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!houses!to!play!dolls!and!have!tea!parties.!!One!

215

day!her!mom!said!to!her!that!she!was!a!happy!child,!but! inside!she!felt!sad!and!lonely.!As!she!gazed!out!the! window!her!eyes!drifted!to!the!houses!she!can!see.!Her! mind!began!to!wander!again!and!she!wondered!what!it! is!like!to!live!in!one!of!them.!Were!the!people!inside! happy!or!sad!she!asked!herself?! !After!a!long!while!she!turned!around!to!her!vanity! and!turned!on!the!radio!real!loud!and!got!into!her!bed! where!she!began!to!rock!back!and!forth!to!the!music! until!she!fell!asleep!as!she!had!done!from!the!time!she! was!a!baby.!She!took!comfort!in!this!rocking!back!and! forth!to!the!loud!music!that!would!eventually!drown!out! her!thoughts.!! ! ! You!may!ask!yourself!what!had!happened!to!this! little!girl!to!make!her!feel!so!lost?!He!mother!seemed!to! think!she!was!a!happy!child.!But!her!father!who!she! loved!very!much!had!left!about!the!time!the!little!girl! turned!seven,!and!her!mother!had!remarried!so!that!the!

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little!girl!thought!she!would!have!a!new!daddy!that! would!love!her!again.!But!he!was!different;!he!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t! her!real!daddy.!! One!morning!as!she!toddled!into!their!bedroom!to! say!hello,!her!stepfather!had!asked!the!little!girl!to!come! to!him!and!give!him!a!kiss!good!morning.!She!had! looked!longingly!at!her!mother!for!assurance.!Her!mom! had!aid!it!was!ok!and!gave!her!a!nod!to!kiss!him!good! morning.!!But!as!the!little!girl!had!approached!him!and! bent!over!the!bed!to!kiss!him,!the!stepfather!had!run!his! hand!up!her!leg!and!under!her!panties.!!Frozen!in!time! as!he!did!this!the!little!girl!again!longingly!looked!at!her! mother!wanting!to!say!something.!Then!the!little!girl! kissed!had!her!stepfather!quickly,!pulled!away,!and!ran! out!the!room.!This!had!been!the!beginning!of!the!little! girlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!lost!and!confused!mind.!!! ! One!evening!as!she!slept!in!her!pretty!pink!covered! bed,!her!stepfather!crept!into!her!room!and!when!he! reached!her,!he!began!to!remove!her!blankets!slowly!so!

217

as!not!to!wake!her!as!she!lay!there!asleep.!He!began!to! raise!her!baby!doll!pajama!top!then!bent!down!and! began!kissing!her!chest!while!moving!his!hand!down! under!her!baby!doll!panties.!She!woke!up!startled!and! began!to!push!his!hands!away!while!crying!and!pushing,! but!he!put!his!hand!over!her!mouth!and!said,!“Don’t!cry! or!scream,!or!I’ll!have!to!leave!your!mother!”!!In!the! little!girls!mind!she!remembered!what!her!mother!had! said!to!her!and!her!brothers!at!the!dinner!table!with! him!sitting!there:!“Do!not!do!anything!that!would!make! your!stepfather!leave!us.! !Frightened,!the!little!girl!stopped!crying!and!yelling!but! kept!trying!to!pull!away!and!said!“I’ll!tell!mommy!”! hoping!he!would!stop.!! Shortly!after!he!must!have!heard!her!mother! coming!because!when!her!mother!entered!the!room!she! asked!him!what!was!going!on,!and!he!said,!“I!came!to! give!her!a!good!night!kiss!and!must!have!frightened! her.”!!While!they!were!talking,!the!little!girl!kept!saying! in!the!background:!“He!was!trying!to!eat!me;!he’s!trying!

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to!eat!me.”!The!stepfather!responded!quickly,!“She!must! have!been!having!a!bad!dream!when!I!bent!down!to!kiss! her.”! !Newly!married,!her!mother!replied,!“It’s!okay;!he! only!wanted!to!kiss!you!good!night”!and!agreed!with! him!that!the!little!girl!must!have!had!a!bad!dream.!Hurt! by!her!words!and!afraid,!the!little!girl!felt!alone!and! hurt.!She!couldn’t!understand!why!her!mother!would! say!that.!She!didn’t!understand!nor!could!she!tell!her! mom!what!was!happening!because!her!stepfather!said! he!would!leave!her.! As!her!mother!and!stepfather!left!the!room,!the! little!girl!crawled!under!her!blankets!and!began!to!rock! again!back!and!forth,!back!and!forth!until!she!fell!asleep.! Often!she!would!have!nightmares!of!running!away.! Many!times!the!little!girl!could!see!her!stepfather! standing!there!at!her!bedroom!door!and!watching!her! rock!back!and!forth!while!she!listened!to!the!music! pretending!she!didn’t!see!him.!After!a!while!she!learned! to!hide!from!him!when!he!came!home!from!work.!

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!In!her!bedroom!was!her!hideaway!closet.!!It!was! set!up!off!the!floor!with!the!door,!and!when!she!knew!he! was!around!she!would!hide!in!it!behind!the!clothing! where!he!could!not!see!her!and!lay!quietly!until!she!felt! safe!to!leave.!As!she!grew!older!she!was!able!to!push!her! bureau!against!the!bedroom!door!at!night!to!keep!him! out!while!she!slept.!! One!day!when!she!went!to!church!for!confession! she!talked!to!the!priest!and!told!him!what!was! happening,!and!he!told!her!to!speak!to!her!mother.!She! tried!to!explain!to!him!she!couldn’t!because!her! stepfather!said!he!would!leave!and!her!mother!already! said,!“Don’t!do!anything!that!would!make!him!leave.”! But!the!priest!insisted!she!do!the!telling,!so!she!left!hurt! and!alone!again.! ! So!the!little!girl!lost!stayed!lost!for!a!long!time.!!She! stayed!silent,!and!she!stayed!in!her!closet!trying!to!feel! safe!although!she!never!felt!really!safe,!not!even!as!a! grownaup.!

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Impressions!Made!During!the!First!Years!of!School!! By!Sandra!Wallace! ! My!first!six!years!of!school!were!spent!at!St.!Mary’s! Catholic!School.!Those!years!became!my!most! influential!years!of!my!life.!The!nuns!who!taught!at!the! school!were!both!gentle!and!harsh.!By!the!time!I! reached!the!sixth!grade!I!begged!my!mother!to!send!me! to!a!public!school.!I!suppose!you’re!going!to!ask!why?! What’s!the!story!behind!the!story?! The!good!part!behind!the!story!is!that!I!grew!to! love!a!God!I!did!not!know!in!my!early!life.!During!those! formative!years!I!became!a!Crusader!for!Christ.!This! was!asked!of!all!the!children!in!the!school.!You!could!be! a!Crusader!for!Christ!or!not.!And!like!the!nuns!I!decided! to!dedicate!myself!to!serve!the!Lord.!As!a!crusader!for! Christ!you!wore!a!white!cape!with!red!band!around!the! edge!of!the!cape!and!a!white!cap.!You!also!were!given!a! round!pin!shaped!like!a!host!with!a!cross!in!the!center.! As!a!Crusader!for!Christ!you!would!spend!most!of!you! 221

time!in!Church,!praying!the!rosary!and!doing!the! Stations!of!the!Cross.!And!if!you!went!around!the! Stations!of!the!Cross!as!many!times!as!I!did!as!a!young,! impressionable!child,!it!made!quite!an!impression!on! your!mind.!! It!was!quiet!as!I!walk!to!each!Stations!of!the!Cross.! And!looked!upon!each!gray!tablet!hanging!on!the!walls! of!the!Church!showing!Jesus’!last!walk!to!Golgotha!to!be! hung!on!the!cross,!I!began!to!ask!myself!questions!like,! “Why!were!they!so!cruel!to!Him!when!He!only!wanted! to!do!good!for!others?”!! By!the!time!I! ended!the! Stations!of!the! Cross!I!was!crying! for!Him.!As!I! looked!at!him! beaten!and! bruised,!pierced! and!broken,!I!fell!

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in!love!with!a!god!I!did!not!really!know.!Somehow!I!took! refuge!in!Him!without!knowing!why.!But!as!I!now!look! back!He!became!my!Savior!in!a!time!of!trouble.!For!you! see,!I!could!identify!with!Him!because!of!my!own!early! years!of!growing!up.!My!dad!would!physically!abuse!us! to!force!my!mother!into!a!divorce.!And!my!step!dad!was! no!better!little!did!my!mother!know!at!the!time!that!he! was!a!secretive!bisexual!pedophile.!Yet!through!all!that!I! became!strong!in!my!love!for!a!God!I!did!not!know.! The!reason!I!wanted!to!leave!the!Catholic!school! was!probably!the!same.!The!nuns!though!they!were!soft! in!speech!were!also!cruel,!especially!if!you!did!not!toe! the!mark.!Penmanship!was!their!forte,!and!if!you!did!not! do!it!correctly,!down!came!the!ruler!on!your!knuckles.! And!if!your!parents!were!divorced!youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re!an!outcast!and! treated!more!harshly!than!the!other!children.!But!as!you! can!see,!I!do!have!good!penmanship!and!a!love!for!God! that!no!one!can!take!away!even!to!this!day.!

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As!to!the!years!that!followed!I!had!many!teachers! in!my!life!but!none!have!made!more!of!impression!that! those!at!the!Catholic!School! I!was!in!my!late!twenties!that!I!learnt!the!real! meaning!of!His!dying!on!the!Cross.!He!was!for!ordained! to!become!a!man!like!us!who!walked!the!earth!healing,! comforting!and!setting!men!free.!To!be!bruised!beaten! suffer!and!die!for!us!that!we!may!have!life!everlasting.! He!asked!nothing!in!return!except!to!love!and!believe!in! Him!!He!gave!me!the!ability!to!forgive!my!oppressors.! Because!He!said!on!the!cross,!“Father!forgive’!them!for! they!no!not!what!they!do.”!!! To!my!children!and!grandchildren!down!to!the! third!and!fourth!generation!or!anyone!who!reads!this.!If! you’re!hurting!and!you!find!no!comfort!turn!to!the!Bible! and!seek!out!a!good!teaching!church!and!you’ll!find!the! God!you!didn’t!know!to!comfort!and!heal!you.!!! ! Love!from!your!Mom!Mémér!Nana!Grandmémér!! !

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First!Love! !By!Sandra!Wallace!

! Who!would!be!my!first!love!and!the!stranger!that!I! would!eventually!fall!in!love!with?! My!dad,!of!course,!was!my!first!love.!!I!loved!to!be! cuddled!with!him!in!his!arms!and!in!the!garden! watching!him!work.!After!the!divorce!I!was!so!excited!to! see!him!again.!!He!talked!to!my!mom!and!asked!if!he!

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could!take!my!brothers!to!his!house!for!an!overnight! stay.!!I!wanted!to!go!very!much.!!When!I!realized!I!was! not!going,!I!cried!and!yelled,!“I’ll!be!good.!!Daddy,!I!want! to!go!with!you.”!

! In!reply!he!said,!“No,!you!have!to!stay!with!your! mother.!!She!needs!you.”!!But!I!cried!louder,!“Daddy,!I! need!you!too.”!!It!seemed!to!fall!on!deaf!ears!because!it! didn’t!matter!much!to!him.!!And!as!he!left,!I!ran!to!my! room!crying.!!!I!was!hurt;!I!thought!my!daddy!didn’t!love! me!or!want!me.!!I!got!angry!with!my!mom!for!needing! 226

me!because!I!needed!my!daddy!too.!!What!I!did!not! realize!at!the!time!was!she!had!said!to!him!earlier!that!I! could!go!with!him,!so!it!was!his!decision!to!leave!me! behind.!!That!day!I!learned!that!love!does!not!always! have!a!happy!ending.!!So!my!first!love!was!bruised!and! crushedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;he!never!came!back!to!take!them!or!me!to!his! house!again.! It!was!in!my!eighth! year!of!grammar!school! that!I!met!my!first!male! teacher;!he!was!so! different!from!any!male! figure!I!knew!up!that! time.!!He!looked! handsome!and!tall!in! his!suit!sitting!behind! his!desk.!!His!eyes!were! gentle!and!kind.!!His!voice!came!across!with!authority! and!carried!a!tone!of!gentleness.!!He!was!a!history! teacher!who!also!taught!current!events.!!I!never!liked!

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school!until!I!met!him.!!I!found!myself!doing!my! homework!and!liking!him!as!a!teacher!and!at!times!I! wished!he!were!my!father.!!Love!took!on!a!different! meaning.!!Strange!as!it!may!seem,!I!had!a!crush!on!my! teacher!and!he!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!know!it.!!When!the!school!year! ended!I!wanted!a!remembrance!of!him!so!he!let!me!take! his!picture!because!I!would!be!moving!on!into!high! school!the!next!year.!

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During!the!summer!between!grammar!and!high! school!there!was!a!time!the!bees!came!to!hover!around! the!honeybee.!!This!was!a!time!of!growth.!!I!was!falling! in!love!with!a!young!man! who!didn’t!know!I!existed.!!! He!was!one!of!my!older! brother’s!friends.!!He!was! handsome,!tall,!and!kind! unlike!my!other!brother’s! friends!who!were!aggressive! in!nature.!!I!learned!that!summer!that!boys!testosterone! ran!high!at!that!age.!!Their!only!thought!was!to!kiss!and! feel!you!up.!!After!my!stepfather!that!was!not!my!cup!of! tea!and!I!had!to!fight!one!of!them!off.!!Though!I!enjoyed! their!company!at!times,!I!knew!I!was!not!ready!for!real! love.!!The!kind!that!would!help!me!overcome!the! damage!my!stepfather!had!done.!!It!was!hard!to!grow!up! and!learn!what!love!was!and!how!to!trust!men!when!I! had!been!physically!abused!by!my!father!and!sexually! abused!by!my!stepfather.!

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! !

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! By!the!time!I!reached!fifteen,!I! was!getting!closer!to!real!love.!!He! was!eighteen!when!we!started!to! date.!!We!got!to!know!each!other! when!he!came!to!visit!my!older! brother.!!He!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!really! handsome,!but!I!liked!him!and!he! was!a!kind!and!gentle!sort!of! person.!!One!day!he!asked!my! stepfather!if!he!could!borrow!his! truck!to!take!me!for!a!ride.!!Little! did!I!know!that!down!the!street!waiting!for!us!were!my! brother!and!his!friends!and!girlfriends,!ready!to!hop! into!the!back!of!the!truck!as!we!turned!the!corner.!!! This!ride!took!a!tragic!ending,!for!you!see!my! boyfriend!at!the!time!wanted!to!show!me!how!he!could! drive!with!his!feet.!!So!there!he!was!with!his!feet!on!the! wheel!when!a!car!coming!in!the!other!direction!startled! him.!!He!tried!to!get!his!feet!down!to!turn!the!truck!

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away!from!the!oncoming!car!but!couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.!!The!truck! turned!slightly!and!went!off!the!side!of!the!road!while! he!was!trying!to!get!his!feet!off!the!wheel,!only!to!hit!a! telephone!pole.!!It!cracked!in!half!and!landed!on!top!of! the!truck.! !!!

! ! My!brother!and!his!friends!in!the!back!of!the!open! truck!took!off!like!a!flash!and!left!us!behind!stuck!inside! the!truck!with!a!telephone!pole!on!top!and!wires!all! 232

around!us.!We!yelled!is!anyone!hurt?!!!No!!!So!you!can! guess!what!happened.!!My!brother!and!his!friends! stayed!behind!except!for!the!girls!who!ran!off,!and!the! next!day!the!newspaper!read!like!I!had!been!with! several!boys!in!the!truck!when!the!accident!occurred! and!that!ended!that!relationship!for!a!time.!!According! to!my!parents,!he!was!out!of!bounds!from!then!on.! We!were!still!in!touch!with!each!other!during!my! first!year!of!high!school,!and!we!would!meet! occasionally.!!One!day!he!came!to!meet!me!at!school!and! he!brought!his!friend!with!him!who!had!a!car!and! introduced!me!to!him.!!My!first!impression!was!“Ick.!!I! don’t!want!to!be!near!him.”!!He!was!dirty!with!car! grease!all!over!him!and!partly!bald!at!a!young!age.!!At! first,!I!didn’t!want!to!get!into!his!car.!!But!being!assured! by!my!friend!that!he!was!okay!and!had!just!gotten!out!of! work,!I!entered!the!car!with!trepidation.!!You’ll!never! guess!what!happened!after!that.!!HE!started!calling!me! for!dates.!!! !

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So!here!I!was!turning!sixteen,!and!on!my!birthday! he!was!there!with!my!other!friend!in!competition!for!my! attention.!!Later!during!that!year!my!friend!entered!the! army!and!asked!me!to!marry!him!before!he!went!away! to!camp.!!I!was!seventeen!by!then!and!my!parents! opposed.!!And!I!was!not!thrilled!with!the!idea.!!Inside!I! was!still!having!problems!with!any!kind!of!relationship! that!would!include!intimacy!of!any!sort.!!So!I!said!no,! and!he!was!crushed.!!Later!I!heard!he!got!married.! So!his!friend! whom!I!pretended!I! didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!like!started!to! come!over!and!date! me.!!This!went!on!for! a!few!years.!!Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d! pick!me!up!and!take! me!home!or!out!to! football!games!with! other!friends!of!his,! and!eventually!to!his!house!to!meet!his!mother!and!

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stepfather.!!There!I!became!friends!with!his!mom!and! started!spending!more!time!there!than!at!homeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;away! from!my!stepfather.!!My!mom!never!really!got!to!know! him!without!his!hat!off.!!So!when!she!found!out!how!old! he!was!and!was!partially!bald!she!warned!me!to!call!off! our!relationship.!!He!was!seven!years!older!than!me.! Yet,!I!loved!him.!!He!was!not!as!aggressive!sexually! as!the!boys!I!knew!earlier.!!He!was!safe,!kind,!and! attentive!to!my!needs.!!Our!dates!were!spent!going! different!places!and!seeing!different!things.!!Playing! poker!for!pennies!with!other!friends!including!my!ex! boyfriend!and!his!wife.!!Though!we!kissed!and!hugged! and!sat!together!arm!in!arm,!he!was!not!too!pushy! about!sexual!tendencies!until!my!last!year!of!high!school! when!he!asked!me!to!marry!him!and!I!said!yes.!!Still,!it! was!a!struggle!for!me!to!get!sexually!intimate!with!him.! !

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! !

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!We!were! married!on!October! of!sixtyaone.!!It!was! then!that!I!really!fell! in!love!with!him.!!Our! first!year!of!marriage! was!a!fantasy!dream.!! We!both!worked!for! A Picture of Sandra Taken by Her Husband Early in Their Marriage

the!same!company!in!

different!locations!so!we!were!able!to!spend!travelling! time!together!and!would!eat!out!most!of!the!time.!!! It!wasn’t!until!I!had!our!first!child!that!I!truly!began! to!understand!what!true!love!was.!!Because!it!seemed! he!changed!his!personality,!we!began!to!drift!slightly! apart!with!the!onset!of!a!child.!!I!was!no!longer!he!and! I—we!now!had!a!third!party.!!So!our!love!had!to!grow! and!include!a!new!love.!!Only!time!would!tell!if!this!real! love!would!last!through!the!years!of!growing!with! babies!and!responsibilities!we!didn’t!have!before.!!

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Sandra with Her Husband and Sons

After!three!sons!our!time!together!became!

shorter!and!shorter!and!we!drifted!into!a!pattern!of! caring!and!work!â&#x20AC;&#x201C;!with!little!time!to!bring!back!the!first! year.!!So!what!happened!to!that!first!love?!!It!grew!into!a! different!kind!of!love,!one!with!respect!for!one!anotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s! needs!and!comfort.!!Yes,!there!were!battles!to!win!and! forgiveness!to!be!shared!but!we!triumphed!over!them! all.!!And!although!we!had!many!trials!I!can!say!I!truly! love!him!with!all!his!faults!after!fortyaseven!years!of! 238

marriage.!!Love!had!taken!on!a!new!dimension.!!He!was! sixtyanine!when!he!died.! You!would!think!that!was!the!ending!of!my!loves.! But,!Ah!!!There!is!still!one!more!that!I!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t! mention!in!my!story!of!loves!and!that!was!my!first!real! love.!!Someone!who!identified!with!me!and!was!there! beside!me!even!to!this!day.!!He!has!never!failed!me!or! hurt!me,!he!has!comforted!me!in!all!my!trials!from!birth! on!and!he!will!be!there!when!I!no!longer!exist!upon!the! earth.!!He!is!the!God!I!did!not!know!as!a!child.!

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Time!Apart!.!.!.!For!Me!and!God! By!Sandra!Wallace! It$wasn’t$until$many$years$after$I$was$married$and$ had$my$first$child$that$I$had$an$emotional$breakdown$ that$brought$the$pains$of$my$early$life$to$the$surface.$I$ received$counseling$but$still$felt$tormented.$$$ Years$later,$after$my$third$son,$was$born$I$received$ ministry$from$a$charismatic$church$and$was$able$to$begin$ to$forgive$my$abuser$and$break$loose$from$some$of$the$ bonds$imprisoning$my$tormented$mind.$$$

“Time apart… for me and God” is$a$ book$of$three$stories$I$wrote$at$that$important$turning$ point$in$my$life:$“Angels$on$Assignment,”$“The$Grape$ Lesson,”$and$“I$Know$Someone$Who$Can$Help.”$$I$wanted$ to$share$from$my$personal$experience$the$ways$God$had$ reached$down$and$ministered$to$me$through$His$Word$ while$I$was$spending$time$apart$with$Him.$$I$learned$ there$is$Healing,$Hope$and$Love,$from$the$only$one$who$is$ there$all$the$time:$JESUS. !

! 240

“Angels*on*Assignment”* By!Sandra!Wallace! ! I!was!seventeen!when!I!was!in!a!frontaend!collision! with!a!tractoratrailer!truck.!It!was!a!divided!highway! and!he!had!jumped!the!island!to!avoid!an!accident!when! he!smashed!into!us.!Ever!since!then!I’ve!had!a!fear!of! these!monster!trucks!on!the!road.!! So!one!day!when!I!was!riding!down!the!highway!I! began!to!talk!to!the!Lord!about!this.!It!was!raining!and! the!roads!were!wet.!So!I!ask!the!Lord!to!place! Ministering!angels!around!the!car,!fifty!feet!before! and!after!the!car,!and!under!the!wheels!to!help!the!car! to!stop!when!I!applied!my!breaks!so!I!would!not!be!in! an!accident.!I!thought!that!if!the!angels!where!under!the! tires!they!could!help!stop!the!car.!Very!soon!after!I!kept! hearing!my!name!being!called.! !At!first!I!thought!it!was!my!imagination.!I!looked! through!the!rear!view!mirror!to!see!if!anyone!was!in!the!

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back!seat.!And!naturally!there!wasn’t.!I!had!gotten!into! the!car,!by!myself.! So!I!checked!out!the!windows!I!heard!the!angels! say!“take!us!from!under!the!tires!were!getting!all!wet,! and!place!us!on!the!sides!of!the!tires”.!I!said!OH!!Sorry!!I! then!corrected!my!orders!to!place!the!angels!from! under!the!car!wheels!and!put!them!on!the!sides!of!the! wheels.!And!we!laughed!and!laughed.! You!see!you!must!be!careful!what!and!how!you!ask! for!help.!For!when!you!ask!the!Lord!to!do!something! and!you!believe!He!will,!He!does.!And!sometimes!it’s! according!to!how!you!ask.!! !

! ! ! ! !

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! “The*Grape*Lesson”* By!Sandra!Wallace! !! !

The!grocery!stores!were!jammed!with!people.!

A!blizzard!was!expected!to!hit!that!day!and!into!the! evening.!It!had!been!snowing!all!day.!The!lines!at!the! check!out!counter!were!long.!And!there!I!was!in!the! middle!of!it!all,!waiting!for!the!lines!to!empty!so!I!could! get!home!before!the!storm!really!hit.!While!I!waited!in! line!I!noticed!a!woman!opening!a!bag!of!chips!and! eating!them!as!she!waited.!!Observing!her!action!made! me!realize!how!hungry!I!was.!My!stomach!was!growling.!! A!few!moments!later!I!found!myself!looking!through!my! basket!of!groceries!for!something!to!nibble!on!and! noticed!the!bag!of!large!seedless!grapes.!A!moment!of! decision!came!to!mind,!”should!I!or!shouldn’t!I?!What! difference!would!one!or!two!grapes!make?”!They!did! look!so!good!and!easily!accessible.!!I!also!had!chips!and! crackers!but!neither!tempted!me!and!I!would!have!to! 243

open!the!sealed!box/bag!to!get!at!them.!So!I!took!one! grape.!It!was!so!juicy,!and!sweet.!By!this!time!I!was!next! in!line,!and!I!never!gave!it!another!thought.! !

When!the!next!morning!came!it!had!snowed!so!

much!that!the!man!on!the!news!was!asking!people!to! stay!in.!!So!I!didn’t!bother!to!wake!anyone.!You!could! hear!the!hum!of!the!plows!in!the!distance,!but!it!would! be!quite!a!while!before!all!the!side!roads!open.!!! Twentyasix!inches!of!snow!had!fallen.!There!was!a! peaceful!stillness!within!and!without!the!house.!I! decided!to!enjoy!it.!So!with!coffee!in!hand!I!sat!in!my! favorite!rocker!and!wrapped!myself!in!a!warm!blanket.!I! picked!up!my!Bible!that!was!right!next!to!me!and! started!to!read.!My!mind!began!to!drift,!and!I!began!to! talk!to!the!Lord.! “What!makes!a!person!steal?”!I!asked.!His!answer! was!not!what!I!expected.!“Do!you!remember!what!you! did!at!the!grocery!store?!Remember!that!moment!of! decision!when!you!thought!‘should!I!or!shouldn’t!I’?!Yet! you!chose!to!eat!one!grape.”!“That!was!Me!speaking!to!

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you.!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve!given!man!a!free!will!to!choose!to!do!right!or! wrong.!You!had!a!choice,!and!you!chose!to!follow!your! flesh,!and!went!ahead!and!ate!the!grape!before!it!was! weighed!and!paid!for.!The!woman!who!chose!to!eat!the! chips!still!paid!for!the!whole!bag,!even!though!she!ate! the!chips.!You!on!the!other!hand!new!that!the!grape!you! chose!to!eat!needed!to!be!weighed!in!order!for!the! cashier!to!properly!charge!you.!!Yet!you!went!ahead!and! ate!it!anyway.!Eating!ONE!grape!is!not!the!sin!it!is!the! principal!of!consuming!what!has!not!been!paid!for.!To! me!that!is!stealing!just!as!much!as!taking!money!that! doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!belong!to!you.!One!sin!is!no!greater!than! another;!to!me!it!is!all!sin.!! !Many!of!my!people!do!the!same!things.!At!the! office,!in!school,!etc.!They!do!not!think!itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!wrong!to! bring!home!a!pad!of!paper!or!a!pen!or!make!personal! photocopies!that!have!nothing!to!do!with!work,!or!surf! the!net!when!they!have!work!to!do.!They!do!not!listen!to! the!still!small!voice.!

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And!as!I!listened!to!that!still!small!voice,!my!heart! broke!and!I!began!to!cry!and!ask!for!forgiveness.!I!now! had!a!better!understanding!of!the!Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!heart!and!how! He!cares!even!about!the!little!things!that!would! separate!us!from!Him.!! ! Have!you!heard!that!still!small!voice!and!ignored! it?! JOHN!10:27!says:!â&#x20AC;&#x153;My!sheep!hear!my!voice!and!I! know!them,!and!they!follow!me.â&#x20AC;?! How!many!other!scriptures!can!you!find!that! teaches!us!about!that!still!small!voice!and!the!sin!that!so! easily!besets!us?! $ !

! !

246

I*Know*Someone*Who*Can*Help*You:*A*Testimony* ! By!Sandra!Wallace! !

My!life!began!in!a!small!town!in!Massachusetts,! with!my!father,!mother!and!three!brothers!in!a!small! sixaroom!house.!Interwoven!In!what!seemed!to!be!a! happy!childhood!were!traumatic!incidences.!.!My!father! divorced!my!mother!early!in!my!life.!After!the!divorce! my!mother!worked!as!a!waitress!at!night!to!help! support!us.!This!is!where!my!mom!met!my!stepfather.! Interwoven!in!my!early!upbringing!was!the! physical!abuse!from!my!dad!and!sexual!abuse!from!my! stepfather!and!the!emotional!upheaval!of!a! dysfunctional!family.!!In!the!fight!for!survival,!a!war!had! begun!to!rage!in!my!mind!from!the!abuse,!and!turmoil! from!these!incidences.!It!wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!until!early!adulthood,!I! noticed!that!emotional!instability!had!reared!its!ugly! head!and!I!had!become!manicadepressive!with!suicidal! tendencies.!!

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So,!I!praise!God!that!I!can!share!this!testimony!of! divine!healing!with!you!because!of!what!Jesus!did!for! me!in!the!area!of!mental!illness.!For!18!years!I!sought! the!help!of!doctor’s!psychiatrist,!counselors,!clergy!and! laymen!for!an!everagrowing!emotional!illness!the! psychiatrists!had!labeled!manic!depression,! schizophrenia!with!suicidal!tendencies.!The!only!help! they!could!offer!were!drugs!and!psychotherapy!with! periodic!stays!in!mental!institutions!when!the!condition! flared!up!to!the!point!of!uncontrollability.!! This!condition!took!its!toll!on!my!family;!At!times!I! could!actually!see!the!damage!it!was!doing!to!my!family! and!to!myself.!To!face!a!lifetime!of!being!on!drugs,! under!psychotherapy,!and!at!times,!in!and!out!of!mental! institutions,!was!devastating!to!me.!The!prolonged!use! of!drugs!had!begun!to!take!effect!on!my!physical!body! as!well!as!my!mental!state.!! One!day,!while!attending!a!Bible!study!a!man!said! to!me,!“I!know!someone!who!can!help!you.”!!At!the! time!he!shared!this!with!me!I!was!not!receptive!and!

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thus!did!not!pursue!his!offer.!As!things!began!to!worsen,! I!decided!to!end!my!life.!And!proceeded!to!write!a! suicide!note.!While!writing!my!mind!drifted!to!God!and!I! asked!Him!to!forgive!me!for!what!I!was!about!to!do.!The! drugs!and!the!psychotherapy!were!not!working.!And!I! had!nowhere!else!to!turn.!While!crying!a!thought!came! to!mind:!â&#x20AC;&#x153;I!know!someone!who!can!help!you.â&#x20AC;?!!The! Lord!had!reminded!me!of!the!man!who!had!once!said! this!to!me.!!So!I!called!this!person,!and!Praise!God!I!did.! ! For!this!man!was!a!man!who!knew!Jesus!and!the! power!of!God.!He!shared!the!truths!about!the!word!of! God,!and!demonic!possession!and!how!one!can!be!freed! in!the!name!of!Jesus.!He!cited!Luke!4:18a19!(The$Spirit$ of$the$Lord$is$upon$me.$Because$he$hath$anointed$me$to$ preach$the$gospel$to$the$poor;$he$hath$sent$me$to$heal$the$ brokenhearted,$to$preach$deliverance$to$the$captives,$and$ recovering$of$sight$to$the$blind,$to$set$at$liberty$them$that$ are$bruised,$to$preach$the$acceptable$year$of$the$Lord.)! KJV.!He!shared!with!me!that!God!had!called!him!for!this!

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ministry,!and!that!it!was!passed!on!to!all!who!believed! by!faith!in!the!Word!of!God.!Thus!began!my!healing! through!deliverance.!!! I!believe!that!because!of!demonic!possession!in! emotional!illness,!the!Word!of!God!and!deliverance! were!necessary!for!my!complete!healing.!! As!I!look!back!to!that!time!of!healing,!I!realize!that! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve!learned!several!things.!One!is!that!sometimes!in! order!for!God!to!move!in!our!lives!we!must!take!the!first! step,!just!as!we!have!to!take!the!first!step!to!receive! salvation.!!God!is!his!infinite!wisdom!gave!us!a!free!will.! He!does!not!force!us!to!do!anything!we!do!not!truly! want!to!do.!We!have!a!choice!to!stay!there!or!go!beyond! it.!! The!second!thing!I!learned!was!that!I!had!to!do!my! part!it!was!not!a!one!way!street.!I!remember!my!pastor! saying!to!me:!â&#x20AC;&#x153;As!we!dig!our!way!down!to!set!you!free,! you!must!in!turn!dig!youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re!way!up!to!meet!us.!And! through!the!teachings!of!the!Word!of!God!and! deliverance!I!was!totally!set!free.!!

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My!favorite!scripture!at!the!time!and!still!is:!â&#x20AC;&#x153;For$ God$did$not$give$us$(Sandy)$a$spirit$of$fear:$but$of$power,$ and$of$love,$and$of$a$SOUND$MIND.â&#x20AC;?!2!Tim.!1:7!KJV! Thanks!be!to!God!who!gives!us!victory!through!His!son! Jesus!Christ.! !

I!am!now!seventyaone!and!still!praising!the!Lord! for!my!healing!but!I!must!make!one!correction,!as!of!this! year!of!2013!I!learned!that!I!was!missed!diagnosed!with! Schizophrenia,!at!that!time!when!you!thought!you!had! two!personalities!you!were!labeled!Schizophrenics!but! in!reality!you!were!dealing!with!abuse!and!trying!to! rationalize!your!state!of!mind.!At!the!time!this! happened!I!had!postpartum!depression!from!the!birth! of!my!first!son,!I!had!almost!died!from!the!delivery!of! my!son!and!wondered!why!I!was!still!alive.!This!began! years!of!counseling!and!therapy,!and!eventually!I! received!ministry!from!the!Church!I!was!attending.! !! !

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Sandra, center, with (left to right) her Great-Grandmother (on Her Mother's Side) , Her Mother, and Her Grandmother Marcotte

252

Mother!and!Me! By!Sandra!Wallace! Prologue0

! One!day!I!remembered.!!I!remembered!that!my! mother!loved!me.! For!years!I’d!been!angry,!angry!because!she’d!said,! “Don’t!do!anything!to!make!him!leave.”!!She!made!me! think!what!my!stepfather!did!was!my!fault.!!So!much! that!I!went!to!him!one!day!and!said,!“I!don’t!know!what! I!did!to!make!you!do!what!you!did,!but!if!there!IS! anything!I!did,!I!hope!you’ll!forgive!me.!And!I!forgive! you.”!!! But!I!was!still!angry!for!a!long!time.!!So!angry!that! when!my!mother!died!and!my!stepfather!brought!her! ashes!back!to!Massachusetts!for!burial,!I!didn’t!go!to!the! funeral!because!I!didn’t!want!to!go!with!him.!!And!I!have! never!been!to!her!grave.! !

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Now!as!I!write,!I!begin!to!remember!not!just!the! past!I!tried!to!forget!but!the!past!I!forgot!in!the!process.!! And!I!begin!to!remember!the!mother!I!really!had,!the! mother!who!loved!me.! ! !

254

I.!

Glancing!down!at!one!of!Mothers!pictures,!I!could! see!four!generation!born!in!the!month!of!May.!This!was! note!worthy!for!the!town!of!Marlborough!MA!because! they!sent!a!newspaperman!from!the!News!Paper! department!to!come!to!investigate!this!generational! marvel.!They!took!pictures!and!put!it!in!the!Marlboro! News!paper!around!1947.!(To!my!children!I!wish!I!had! the!clipping!from!the!paper!but!mom!only!got!the! picture!from!the!man!who!took!the!photo!don’t!know! what!she!did!with!the!clipping.}! ! !!!

The!more!I!looked!at!these!pictures!that!

belonged!to!her!I!wondered!what!do!I!really!know!about! my!Mom,!or!even!could!remember!of!the!others!I! observed!in!these!pictures!she!saved!during!her! lifetime.!I!remember!as!the!excitement!rising!within!me! when!I!learned!that!Mémé’s!relatives!from!Sweden! were!coming!to!visit.!I!had!to!learn!how!to!curtsy!and! my!brothers!learned!how!to!bow.! 255

! Later!my!mother!told!me!her!mother’s! grandparents!came!from!Sweden!to!Canada!then!to!the! United!States!where!her!mother!Eva!Thuott!Marcotte!on! the!right!side!of!the!picture!was!born!in!Meriden! Connecticut!on!May!15,1887.!!On!the!left!side!was!my! mother’s!grandmother!Emma!Thuott!also!born!in!May.! Who!resided!in!Dudley!Mass!until!she!came!to!live!with! her!daughter!Eva!on!Lincoln!St.!in!Marlborough!Mass.! My!mother!Roberta!May!(Marcotte)!Wiles!in!the!center! of!the!picture!with!me,!was!born!in!Marlborough!on! May!1st!1921,!and!me!Sandra!Lee!Wiles!born!on!May! 26,!1942!holding!hands!with!my!great!grandmother! Emma!(grandmémér)!and!my!grandmother!Eva!(mémé)! who!all!spoke!French!at!one!time.!! ! ! !! *

256

II.!

My!mother! Roberta!(who! liked!to!be!called! Bobbie)!was!the! younger!than!her! other!two!sisters,! Viola!and!June.!She! never!really!got!to! know!her!father! because!he!died! very!early!in!her! life!after!falling!of! a!roof.!He!was!a! painter!and!was!born!in!West!Hampton!Connecticut.!His! name!was!Charles!Marcotte.!

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June and Roberta Marcotte, Sandraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grandparents

Sandra's Aunt June (Left) and Sandra's Mother, Roberta

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III.!

Eva Marcotte, with a friend, on the right in both pictures

! !

Her!mother,!Eva!Marcotte,!became!a!dressmaker! and!worked!as!a!dressmaker!at!home!after!her!husband! died.!My!mom!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!get!a!lot!of!attention!from!her!mom! when!she!was!younger.!!(Although!somehow!I!can!see! her!at!her!mothers!side!watching!her!sewing!and! picking!up!pieces!of!material!to!make!doll!clothes!for! her!doll!out!of!the!reminisce!that!fell!on!the!floor.)!!Her! sisters!were!much!older!and!had!the!responsibility!of!

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watching!over!her!most!of!the!time!especially!when!she! was!outside!the!home!or!going!to!school.!! Sandraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grandmother and Mother

! ! !

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IV.!

She!was! well!liked!in! high!school! and!was! nominated! princess!of! the!Mont! Calm!Degree! Team!Mardi! Gras!at!St.! Jean!Baptist! Hall!of! Marlboro,! MA.! ! !

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However,!mom!never!though!of!herself!as!pretty,! because!she!was!a!heavyset!girl,!growing!up.! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

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She!said!one!day!that!she!couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!understand!why! my!dad!who!she!considered!handsome!wanted!to!marry! her.!She!felt!very!lucky!that!he!even!wanted!her.!Little! did!she!know!that!he!was!a!womanizer!and!would!have! three!wives?!Because!of!his!looks!and!a!few!years!into! the!marriage!he!would!threaten!to!beat!her!children!and! her!in!order!to!get!a!divorce!from!her?!She!was!a! Catholic!and!didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t!believe!in!divorce.!But!when!he! began!to!beat!on!her!children!she!gave!him!what!he! wanted.!!!

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264

V.! !

She!told!me! that!after!having! my!brother! Charles!she!did!not! want!another! child.!At!the!time! of!my!birth!my! delivery!crippled! her!for!several! months.!The! delivery!was!hard! and!instead!of! coming!out!

Mémé Taking Care of the Children (Sandra in Cap)

headfirst!I!was!

born!feet!first.!! So!when!she!came!home!my!grandmother!(mémé)! had!to!take!care!of!me!my!mother!and!older!brother! Charles!while!my!mother!recuperated!in!bed.!!In!order! for!my!mother!hold!me!and!feed!me!she!would!have!to! 265

ask!her!mother!to!put!me!in!bed!with!her.!This!went!on! for!a!period!of!six!months.! ! ! !

266

VI.!

Because!I!was!not!held!much!I!learned!to!comfort! myself!by!rocking!back!and!forth.!This!rocking!in!bed! continued!well!into!my!adulthood.!Once!when!I!was!a! little!girl!my!hair!was!so!snarled!from!rocking!and!hurt! so!much!as!she!tried!to!comb!it!out!that!she!cut!it!all!off! as!I!cried,!“!Mommy,!please!don’t!!I!won’t!rock! anymore.”! !!This!had!such!and! effect!on!me!that!I!would! cut!my!doll’s!hair!off!and! pretend!I!was!she.!Mom!on! the!other!hand!thought!I! was!practicing!to!be!a! hairdresser!and!at!times! would!buy!new!wigs!for!my! dolls!and!tell!me!not!to!cut! their!hair!off!because!the! wigs!were!expensive!to!buy.! Eventually!I!stop!cutting!their!hair!off.! 267

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

268

269

VII.!

I!loved!doing!laundry!with!my!mother.!We!had!this! new!modernized!washer!where!you!would!put!the! clothes!through!a!double!rolling!pins!to!squeeze!out!the! water!and!place!them!in!the!sink!then!the!process! would!be!done!over!again!to!rinse!them!out.!We!had! these!two!long!clotheslines!that!we!would!hang!out!the! wash.!This!was!a!special!time!for!me!because!we!did! things!together!and!I!loved!being!with!her.!! !

270

VIII.!

The!sewing!room! was!a!special!place!while! growing!up.!We!spent! time!together!in!the! sewing!room!with!my! grandmother!(mémé),! Mom!would!help!her! mother!with!the! dressmaking!and! alterations!and!I!would! be!ironing!even!the!pillowcases!and!dishtowels.!!! One!day!while!we!were!together!my!mother!told! me!that!she!wanted!to!become!a!dress!designer!when! she!was!in!school!but!couldn’t!afford!to!go!to!college.!! Instead!she!became!a!dressmaker!like!her!mom.!!! Mom!loved!to!design!all!kinds!of!clothes!for!my! dolls!and!me.!!She!used!the!excess!material!from!the! alterations!my!mémé!did!for!customers.!!Once!my!mémé!!

271

! Mémé in the Sewing Room

! 272

was!asked!to!alter!a!fur!coat!and!from!the!pieces!mom! made!my!doll!a!real!fur!coat.!!For!Christmas!one!year!I! received!a!nun!doll.!!It!had!all!the!garments!including!a! set!of!black!rosary!beads!hanging!on!her!side!and!the! cross!around!her!neck.!!It!was!an!exact!replica.!!Mom! bought!the!dolls!from!a!magazine!and!dressed!them.! She!made!all!my!clothing!even!when!she!couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t! afford!to!buy!material!because!of!the!war!rationing! (around!1942)!and!had!to!use!potato!sacks.! When!I!was!in!high! school!my!mother!made! all!my!prom!gowns!and! the!gowns!I!wore!to!the! Military!Balls!I!went!to! with!Armand!and!Dan.!! ! !

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! !

274

! !

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! Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s An Example of Sandra in a Dress Ahead of Its Time: While the Other Girls are in Full Skirts, Sandra Looks Like Audrey Hepburn

My!teachers!all!loved!my!gowns!made!from!a!Paris! magazine.!I!always!felt!a!little!ahead!of!my!time!and!out! of!place!with!my!friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!gowns!for!the!proms.!!She! never!used!a!pattern!it!came!naturally!to!her.!!She!even! tried!to!teach!me!how!to!sew.!I!guess!it!never!really! interested!me!until!I!had!my!own!children!and!home.! Because!I!would!occasionally!make!my!sons!suits!and! crafty!things!out!of!material!for!the!boys!during!their!

277

years!in!cub!scout!and!scouts.!I!always!liked!making!my! own!draperies.!Now!I’m!doing!all!sorts!of!sewing!crafts! she!can’t!see,!I!hope!she’s!proud!of!me!for!following!the! line!of!stitchers.!!! ! ! ! ! !

A Teenage Sandra at Her Stitching

278

IX.!

! She!also!taught!me!how!to!embroider.!My!first! project!was!a!Peacock!Motif.!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll!never!forget!it,!she!was! very!particular!about!the!cross!stitches!their!had!to!be! two!or!three!stitches!to!every!cross!stitch!line!{X]!and! they!were!small!but!the!work!was!worth!it.!Stitching! never!came!out!no!matter!how!much!you!washed!it.!And! I!had!many!things!in!my!hope!chest!from!pillowcases! that!read!Mr.!and!Mrs.!To!dishcloths!that!read!Monday! Wash,!Tuesday!Ironing!and!had!figures!depicting!the!job! being!done!for!a!time!I!would!be!married.!!! ! ! !

279

X.!

! We!had!other!special!times,!as!I!grew!older.!!I!was! sixteen!when!I!got!my!first!job!where!she!worked!at!a! Denison!Manufacturing!shoe!factory.!Because!I!was!not! old!enough!to!use!their!sewing!machines!I!had!a!job! gluing!soles!onto!the!bottom!of!shoes!for!a!penny!for! each!shoe!I!did,!you!had!to!work!real!fast!in!order!to! make!any!money.!! Every!Friday!for!lunch!we!would!go!out!to!eat!at! the!local!restaurant!as!a!special!treat!together!and! would!talk!shop!and!what!I!wanted!to!do!after! graduation.!She!suggested!that!next!summer!I!apply!to! be!an!airline!steward!and!there!I!was!rejected!because! of!my!height.!!Then!the!next!summer!she!sent!me!to! Computer!School!before!I!graduated.!This!was!the! beginning!of!the!computer!age.!I!punched!hole!into! cards!that!was!read!by!a!big!machine.!From!the! discarded!cards!we!colored!them!and!made!Christmas! wreaths.!

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! At!Denison! Shoe!Factory!she! was!a!fancy!stitcher! and!designed! cowboy!boots.!From! there!she!work!at! Frye!Shoe!and!retired!as!head!of!the!sampler! department.!(I!suppose!that!why!she!became!a!fancy! shoe!sampler!where!she!worked!because!she!liked!to! design!things!and!boots!had!all!kinds!of!designs!on! them).!She!even!made!a!small!one!that!I!still!have! hanging!on!the!wall!over!her!sewing!machine!that!I!still! look!at!today!and!think!of!her.!

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XI.! !

The!first! wedding!gown!I! tried!on!the!room! was!silent!and!you! could!see!tears! rolling!down!my! aunt’s!face,!my! mother’s!face,!and! my!own!face.!! ! The!wedding!gowns!I!tried!on!all!needed! alterations!so!mom!decided!to!make!it.!!Then!she!got! inspired!and!designed!all!the!bridemaids’!gowns!as!well! as!her!own.!!The!girls’!dresses!were!made!of!green!and! rust!and!though!you!cannot!see!it!the!bottom!was! layered!petals!including!their!bands.!!Mom’s!dress!was! hot!pink!with!matching!coat!and!hat.!

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I!think!she! almost! outshined! the!bride! with!her! hot!pink! dress,!coat! and!hat!to! match.!! ! ! She!also!made!my!trousseau!for!my!honeymoon!and!got! all!the!fixings.!She!hired!a!hat!maker!to!make!the!veil,! her!hat,!and!two!hats!for!my!trousseau!to!match!the! outfits.! She!was!a!dress!designer!and!she!had!me!to! practice!on!and!loved!it.!I!wish!I!could!have!told!her!I! felt!left!out!of!the!picture.!She!only!told!me!what!she!and! my!aunt!were!planning!for!the!wedding!and!showed!me! the!outcome.!I!felt!it!was!her!wedding!most!of!the!time!

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not!mine.!Until!the!day!of!the!wedding,!when!I!got!to! wear!all!the!beautiful!clothing!she!made!for!me.!

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Leaving for the Honeymoon

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XII.!

When!we!would!go!shopping!

at!clothing!stores!weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d!try!on!hats! and!pretend!we!were!the!higha class!society!moving!our!bodies! walking!and!talking!like!we!were! the!rich!and!famous.!I!can!still!see! us!looking!at!each!other!and! laughing!to!our!hearts!content.!I! guess!thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!where!I!got!my!ideas!of!wearing!and! making!hats!of!all!sorts!when!I!worked!as!a!greeter!at! WalaMart.! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 287

XIII.! !

She!taught! me!how!to!bake! my!first!cake!it! was!for!her! birthday.!And!it! came!out! lopsided!with! many!colors!of! frosting.!I!took!a! picture!of!it!and! she!was!smiling.! And!of!course!we!sang!happy!birthday!and!ate!it.!Later! after!I!was!married!we!had!our!own!Home!baking!shop.! Cakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!of!all!kinds!from!birthdays!to!holidays!and!of! course!Wedding!and!shower!cakes!and!even!sugar! Easter!eggs!to!sell!at!craft!shops.!When!she!could!no! longer!work!on!them!because!of!her!hands.!I!took!over! and!had!my!own!shop!called!Divine!Covenantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.!

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Sandra's Mother with Cake

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Some of Sandra's Many Cakes

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XIV.!

Even!as!she!grew!older!she!never!stopped! designing!and!making!dolls.!The!first!quilt!she!made!a! cathedral!window!and!was!all!done!by!hand.!From!their! she!went!on!to!making!aprons!and!potholders!to!match,! then!to!knitting!and!crocheting!making!blankets!dolls! turtles!and!all!kinds!of!fun!things.!Now!Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m!doing!some! of!the!same!things!for!my!grand!children.!!And!we!have! even!shared!being!grandmothers!and!greata grandmothers.! !

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XV.!

She!died!on!September!5th!1997.!Her!ashes!were! eventually!released!over!the!Cape!Cod!Canal!where!she! wanted!to!be!to!float!down!to!Florida!for!the!winter!and! come!back!to!Mass.!for!the!spring!and!fall.!! ! ! ! ! !

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XVI.!

I!refused!to!see!my!mother!when!I!was!in!the!state! hospital!for!a!suicide!attempt.!!I’m!sure!she!was!hurt.!! But!when!I!got!out!and!received!some!ministry,!I!was! able!finally!to!tell!her!about!what!my!stepfather!had! done.!!She!acted!surprised!and!said,!“If!I’d!known! earlier,!I!might!have!been!able!to!do!something.!!But!it’s! too!late!now.”!!Which!made!me!mad.!Then!she!told!me! that!she’d!been!abused!as!a!child,!although!she!didn’t! tell!me!how!and!she!didn’t!tell!me!who.”!!But!I!was!still! mad!because!I!believed!she!had!known!and!didn’t! protect!me.! ! Now!I!feel!sad!because!she’d!gone!through! something!similar!and!never!found!a!way!to!speak!up! for!herself.!!Afraid!of!losing!the!man!in!her!life,!afraid!of! being!on!her!own,!she!did!whatever!it!took!to!keep!the! man!whether!he!was!worth!it!herself.!!She!tried!to! survive!by!burying!her!hurt!and!sense!of!unworthiness! under!singing!and!crafts!and!sewing.!!At!one!point!in!my! 296

marriage!I!talked!about!leaving!my!husband!for!abusing! me,!when!he!tried!to!kick!me!and!instead!broke!down! the!door!and!screen!door.!!Here!is!the!advice!she! offered:!“He!has!a!good!job,!brings!home!money,! supports!you,!and!nobody!else!will!have!you.”! So!instead!of!feeling!angry!with!her!I!feel!sad!for! her.!!!She!settled!for!too!little,!afraid!she!could!never!get! more.!!But!I!don’t!want!to!try!only!to!survive!by! forgetting.!I!am!determined!to!speak!with!my!own!voice! and!tell!my!own!story.!! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

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A!Moment!in!Time:!December!23,!1994!! By!Sandra!Wallace! !

! ! One$of$the$subjects$we$were$asked$to$write$about$in$ our$Writers'$Roundtable$was$a$warm$and$tender$moment.$ As$I$thought$about$this$ I$began$to$wonder$what$is$it$to$me?$Did$I$ever$have$a$ warm$and$tender$moment?$

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In$everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s$life$the$meaning$could$hold$something$ different.$ $As$my$though$began$to$rush$in$I$could$actually$find$ a$warm$and$tender$moment$in$my$life?$Amongst$the$ turmoil,$hurts,$abuse,$and$what$my$fantasies$I$could$ concoct$of$a$loving$tender$moment.$I$wrote$a$poem$of$a$ picture$captured$in$time$by$one$of$our$sons$on$December$ 23,$1994.$ ! A!few!stolen!moments!all!snuggled!and!warm.! Near!the!fire!lay!mom!and!dadaall!cozy!and!warm! ! !The!tree!lights!and!tinsel!glistened!and!swayed! !And!gave!off!a!rainbow!of!color!sprayed.!! ! The!children!were!snuggled!tight!in!their!beds.! Vision!of!Toyland!danced!in!their!heads.! ! While!outside,!a!winter!storm!blew.!! But!did!not!disturb!the!peace!we!knew.!!

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! A!childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!hand!made!garlands!of!craft!acolored! paper! Angels!and!stars!and!balls!of!all!color! ! Off!to!the!side!decorated!with!pride! !A!tree!waiting!for!Christmas!to!arrive.! !

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A!Legacy!for!My!Granddaughters!

By!Sandra!Wallace!

One!Christmas!I!was!given!a!book!called!A$ GRANDPARENT’S$LEGACY:$Your$Life$Story$in$Your$Own$ Words.!!The!book!asked!many!questions!from!your! childhood!on.!At!the!time!I!received!this!book!I!tried!to! fill!it!out!and!much!to!my!dismay!there!wasn’t!much!I! felt!able!to!tell.!!The!pages!are!still!blank.!!I!had!tried!to! forget!my!past!and!as!a!result!although!I!remembered! most!of!the!bad!things!I’d!repressed!many!of!the!good! ones.! After!my!son’s!death,!my!daughterainalaw!started! asking!questions!about!her!husband’s!heritage.!!At!the! time,!I!gave!her!some!specific!names!and!places,!which! offered!information!but!not!life.!!With!those!short!facts,! things!went!by!the!wayside,!and!again,!were!placed!on!a! shelf!–!to!be!forgotten.! I!had!done!a!little!writing!once!back!in!September! 2003!when!the!church!I!was!attending!offered!a!class!in!

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Communications.!!My!writings!were!chosen!from! incidents!in!my!life!that!whirled!around!my!Christian! faith!and!trials!and!in!some!ways!that!was!part!of!the! beginning!of!my!healing!process.!!But!then!I!became! sidetracked!with!life’s!everachanging!times.! Now!I!am!seventyaone!and!living!at!an!Assisted! Living!home!named!“Christopher!Heights.”!One!day! while!living!at!Christopher!Heights!Assisted!Living,!an! activity!was!presented!called!The!Writers’!Roundtable.!! When!I!resumed!writing,!my!emotions!evoked! sorrow,!joy,!and!laughter.!!Others’!stories!were!also! inspiring.!!Their!writings!helped!me!to!view!how!they! lived!and!matured!along!life’s!long!journey.!!This!group! opened!up!a!new!world!of!memories!for!me,!memories! that!I!had!forgotten!and!wanted!to!share!with!you!all! before!I’m!gone.!! Now!it!has!become!clear!to!me!that!I!have!a!deep! desire!to!resume!my!writing!with!more!fervor!so!that!I! can!pass!my!stories!along!to!you.!!I!love!all!of!you!dearly,! but!most!of!you!only!know!the!depressed!and!damaged!

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woman!I!used!to!be.!!In!the!days!when!I!was!depressed! and!felt!I!was!seeing!my!own!problems!affect!my! children,!I!wanted!to!die!so!I!wouldn’t!pass!harm!along! to!the!ones!that!I!loved.!!Many!times!I!wanted!to!reach! out!but!didn’t!know!how.!!!I!think!so!much!about!the! many!times!you!were!in!pain!that!I!wasn’t!there!for!you.!! I!didn’t!know!then!how!to!be!the!loving!mother!you! deserved!and!I!wanted!to!be.!!Now,!thanks!to!ministry,! writing,!counseling,!and!my!love!of!my!granddaughters,! I!am!finally!ready!to!share!my!story!with!my!beloved! family!in!the!hopes!you!will!be!able!to!hear!in!these! words!the!love!I’ve!always!wished!I!could!share.! As!you!all!were!growing!up!I!would!have!liked!to! share!these!stories!with!you!on!my!lap,!but!you!were! too!small!to!understand!the!complexities!of!life’s!long! journey,!so!instead!I!hugged,!tickled!and!kissed!you!as! we!laughed!and!played!dolls.! Now!that!you!are!older,!I!hope!you!can!understand! my!past!and!your!beginnings!they!are!here!all!bound!up! in!a!handsomely!book!for!you!to!read!at!your!leisure,!

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perhaps!laughing!and!crying!as!you!get!to!know!the! family!you!never!knew.!! Though!this!book!is!not!complete,!know!that!I!will! be!still!be!writing!on!my!old!computer!while!there!is! time.!!!I!hope!that!you!may!pass!the!book!on!to!your! children!and!your!childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s!children!for!generations!to! come!so!you!will!know!how!we!have!struggled,! survived,!lived,!and!loved.!! ! I!love!you!all!dearly!Amanda,!Jessica,!and!Jaylinn.!!!!!! !

Love,!!! MĂŠmĂŠ/Nana! !

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! Class Mascot, Stasha, Making Herselt at Home on Pat's Chair During a Writing Consultation

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