Issue 10, Volume 1: October 2013 by Living Out

Partnering with you, partnering with the community.

Donaldsons Volkswagen Subaru Sales, Service & Parts Center 5700 Sunrise Highway Sayville NY 11782 888.255.6712 www.donaldsonsvw.com www.donaldsonssubaru.com

â&#x20AC;˘

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

In THis Issue October 2013 - Volume 1, Issue 10 1 Cover 3 In this issue

2 3

4 5

6 7

8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29

4 letter from the editor 6 in the news: national 7 in the news: interNational 8 Out on LI: GLBT Inclusion – the solution to li’s bullying epidemic 12 out on LI: a li woman shares her coming out story 13 out on li: ligay PTSA, expo, and winter ball 14 music reviews 15 orange is the new black review

30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49

16 calendar 18 be scene: li glbt expo photos

19 the long island glbt business directory 41 living healthy 44 travel: vegas 46 cocktails 47 skincare musthaves

50 51 52 53 54 55 56

Living Out is produced by The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network with support from Morey Publishing, LLC.

48 tips for small businesses 50 points of view 55 the a-to-z: bisexuality 56 winter ball

livingout 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110 Garden City, NY 11530 516.323.0011

follow our lead Become a fan on Facebook at facebook.com/livingoutli or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/livingoutli

stay in the know Keep connected at livingoutli.org

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

David Kilmnick, Publisher info@livingoutli.org Meryl Lumba, editor editor@livingoutli.org Jeff Main, Art Director art@livingoutli.org Jonathan Chenkin, Advertising advertising@livingoutli.org

get published! Want to join our team as a monthly contributor? We’re looking for talented writers and photographers to get involved in Long Island’s newest GLBT publication!

Contributors Joey Amato, Matthew Ambrosio, Dr. Bill Blazey, Mike Canestraro, Rev. Irene Monroe, Charlene Obernauer, Rachel Roth, Laurie Segal, Gregg Shapiro, Gwen Smith

apply to be a contributor Email editor@livingoutli.org! LIVING OUT

•

Letter from the Editor This October, our team here at Living Out is taking the time to reflect on National Coming Out Day (NCOD) on October 11th – and an Island-wide school Awareness Campaign that over 60,000 Long Island students and educators will participate in.

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 20 | 7-10PM THE CENTER AT BAY SHORE 34 PARK AVENUE, BAY SHORE, NY 11706

TDOR memorializes individuals who have died throughout the world due to antitransgender bias and hatred. It reminds everyone that we are their daughters, sons, parents, friends, and lovers. RSVP ONLINE AT

LIGLBTCENTER.ORG/TDOR

•

LIVING OUT

Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth’s (LIGALY) 12th annual NCOD school awareness campaign’s goals are to create safer and more supportive learning environments for GLBT youth. Since the NCOD Campaign focuses on an entire school community “coming out” as advocates of safer schools, Living Out seeks to commemorate these local heroes in our Long Island classrooms, standing up to anti-GLBT bullying and seeking to create institutional change to better support our youth. There are educators across Long Island that are working hard toward creating safer schools for GLBT youth, and our feature story explores the bullying epidemic as well as those educators who are changing the lives of GLBT youth (pg. 8). Equally important to protecting and

educating our young students are their parents’ involvement. Also this issue, learn about the Long Island Gay Parent Teacher-Student Association (LI Gay PTSA), the nation’s first ever – and only – PTSA focused on the needs of GLBT students (pg. 13). Another special feature in this issue is the Long Island GLBT Business Directory, an insert full of GLBT-affirming businesses, companies, and organizations. Enjoy the print edition now and stay up-to-date with the latest additions to the directory at www.liglbtnetwork.org. But what would the October issue be without Halloween? Whether you’re taking your children trick-or-treating (pg. 41), concocting a spooky cocktail (pg. 46), or deciding to stay in and swap the spooky mask for a skincare one (pg. 47), we hope you have a happy and safe month enjoying the perks of autumn. With Pride,

Meryl Lumba, Editor

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

TIMELESS ELEGANCE . . . MODERN THINKING

631.261.1900

THE

BAY

445 East Main St. (25A) Centerport N.Y. thatchedcottage.com

631.262.0300 jellyfishrestaurantli.com

441 East Main St. (25A) Centerport N.Y.

DINNER

LUNCH

SUSHI

COCKTAILS

PRIVATE EVENTS

Ralph Colamussi Welcomes the GLBT Community

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT

•

Study highlights gender protection law

In the news national News

By Rachel Roth

Same-sex couples get equal tax treatment The US Treasury Department and Internal Revenue Service will begin honoring married lesbian and gay couples, regardless of where they live, with the same benefits as their heterosexual counterparts. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew promised that those who are legally married can “move freely throughout the country

knowing that their federal filing status will not change.” The new policy is not extended to couples in domestic partnerships or civil unions. In other news, The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) still cannot extend spousal benefits to former military service members because federal rules that determine eligibility for benefits

define “spouse” as a person of the opposite sex, according to VA Secretary Eric Shinseki. Shinseki insists that the VA is working with the Department of Justice to determine whether the rules are constitutional in light of the Supreme Court ruling that struck down parts of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

Gay Arizona school board member target of smear campaign In 2011 Daniel Hernandez Jr. helped save Congresswoman Gabriel Gifford’s life. Now, the former intern, who was elected to the school board for the Sunnyside Unified School District later that year, is facing a recall and an anonymous

•

LIVING OUT

anti-gay smear campaign.

Right Wing Watch reported that flyers being passed around to constituents in southern Tucson and adjacent areas in Pima County blast Hernandez for being gay and for supporting gun control measures.

Amending Maryland’s civil rights law to explicitly prohibit discrimination based on gender identity would extend protections to an estimated 53 percent of Maryland’s population, including approximately 9,200 transgender people, according to a Williams Institute report. Reid Rasmussen and Christy Mallory, Fellows of Law and Policy, authored the study.

“Put a REAL Man on the Sunnyside Board [sic],” reads one flyer, with a picture of Hernandez speaking at an Equality Forum event. “Daniel Hernandez is GLBT. We need someone who will support Sports and cares about our kids. We don’t need someone who hates our values. RECALL Daniel Hernandez TODAY [sic].” Four of the five members of the school board are also facing recall because they voted to extend the superintendent’s contract.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

international News

By Rachel Roth

Canadian researchers report HIV vaccine success in clinical trials A team of Canadian researchers from Schulich School of Medicine & Dentistry at Western University announced last month that a vaccine to prevent HIV has “aced” clinical testing. Team leader Dr. Chil-Yong Kang told the Ontario Business Report that the first phase of testing not only succeeded, but also boosted the production of antibodies in patients it was tested on. US clinical testing on the vaccine (SAV001) began in March 2012.

The first phase of trials ended last month and researchers are optimistic about the future. Sumagen, the South Korean biotech firm sponsoring the vaccine, said that, despite many obstacles, if all goes well in trials, it could be commercially available in five years. “We are now prepared to take the next steps towards Phase II and Phase III of clinical trials,” CEO Jung-Gee Cho said in a press release.

Popular footballer a “champion of tolerance” Lebanon poised to legalize homosexuality Football star Joey Barton called for professional footballers in England and Scotland to wear rainbow laces in their

Lebanon is on course to repealing anti-gay legislation, Gay Star News reported. In a major win for GLBT rights, psychologists agree to be expert witnesses in court to say homosexuality is natural, and so laws against ‘unnatural’ sex acts do not apply.

boots to show solidarity with the Stonewall and Paddy Power campaign, which addresses homophobia in the game. According to Pink News, “The Right Behind Gay Footballers” campaign is focused on changing attitudes in football rather than

urging players to come out. This is not the first time Barton has spoken out about homophobia in the game. In 2012, Barton, who is heterosexual, criticized the “archaic” nature of homophobic football managers in a BBC documentary.

Presently, law 534, which is used to prosecute gay sex, is actually a law against ‘unnatural’ sex acts. Gay Star News noted that while public attitudes have modernized in Lebanon, the media remains homophobic.

Australian PM makes passionate defense of support for gay marriage

Find out how Briarcliﬀe College can change your life with a degree in Accounting, Business Administration, Criminal Justice, Graphic Design, Healthcare Administration, Paralegal Studies, and our newest program, Dental Hygiene.

DR. GEORGE SANTIAGO, JR. Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd faced a Brisbane-based pastor who questioned Rudd’s level of Christianity due to his support for gay marriage. The pastor asked, “Jesus said a man shall leave his father and mother and be married... Kevin, if you call yourself

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

a Christian, why don’t you believe the words of Jesus in the Bible?” Rudd replied that it was his “Christian conscience” that drove his stance on marriage equality. The Prime Minister, who is up for re-election, has vowed to take steps towards legalizing same-sex marriage if he wins another term.

516-918-3600 BETHPAGE

631-654-5300 PATCHOGUE

516-918-3900 QUEENS

LIVING OUT

•

out on li

GLBT-Inclusion:

The Solution to LI’s Bullying Epidemic Educators Speak Out on Why Work Still Needs to Be Done

For many, school is a safe place for learning, life-long friendships, and pursuing personal dreams or goals. Perhaps most important of all those nostalgic memories of school are of former educators who have made lasting impressions, often far into one’s adulthood. For students who see school not as a place of opportunity but as a place of punishment, who face the constant threat of bullying behind classroom doors, these educators are making all the difference by working for inclusion and offering support. 8

•

LIVING OUT

n the eighth grade, Bart Palosz was sent to the emergency room for stiches after a bully bashed his head into a metal locker. His classmates said that faculty members called the incident an accident, but refused to share hall security footage, which captured the injury, to his own family. The bullying continued well into his high school career, as classmates broke his belongings and assaulted him daily as he walked to school. Eventually, the torture became too much to bear. One of his last social media posts stated, “I have chosen to go with 3 peoples advice and kill myself. I just wish it was faster [sic].” And just last month, the 15-year-old from Connecticut committed suicide after his first day at Greenwich High School. His friends believe that it was the continuous bullying of his classmates that ultimately led to his death. His older sister, Beata, claims that the school knew the ongoing trouble her brother had. In fact, their parents wrote letters to counselors and even had meetings with teachers and principals about the unrelenting bullying. Beata told media outlets this saddening statement, “I honestly do not think the school addressed the bullying. It could have saved him if they did.”

Bullying: A Nationwide Epidemic Victims of bullying, like Palosz, are often not recognized until it is too late. Bullying and discrimination remain a large part of the school systems across the nation, and Long Island is no exception, particularly when it comes to bullying

By Meryl Lumba

against gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender youth, or students perceived to be among the GLBT community. According to studies, GLBT students in suburban and rural areas are not only victimized more but also have less access to resources and support than youth in urban environments. The studies note that 87% of all GLBT students in suburban to rural areas reported being verbally harassed while 45% reported being physically harassed and 22% reported being physically assaulted. 91% of these GLBT students hear “gay” used in a negative way while 79% of GLBT students frequently heard other homophobic remarks at school. Even more startlingly, their study observed that only 13% of these GLBT students reported that school personnel intervened when they heard negative remarks relating to gender expression. Only 11% reported having a GLBT-inclusive curriculum. The 120 miles of Long Island certainly run the gamut in the way of geographical diversity: parts of Nassau and Suffolk are bustling towns and suburban villages full of resources and support, while other sections towards the East End could easily be considered rural. Resources are thus few and far between. One such resource, however, is Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY), which celebrated its 20th anniversary this year for service, education, and advocacy for GLBT youth and allies. Robert Vitelli, who is the Chief Operating Officer today, began working for the organization in 2001 as a community educator. “Our goals were broader – we were working to provide information to students about what it

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

out on li means to be GLBT. At that time, there was a real lack of knowledge as well as a lack of understanding.” Vitelli reflects, “Today our community education goals can be more focused. The general awareness of GLBT people and what it means to be GLBT has grown tremendously. LIGALY still delivers the same curriculum, but now we target building awareness of bullying and how students can help to stop it and prevent it, as GLBT youth are still bullied for being GLBT in their schools.”

talk to at least one of his or her parents. “It’s dangerous, actually, to get involved in that kind of thing because parents can have a myriad of reactions – and some of them can be quite negative,” Dr. Fazio says. “For instance, I worked with two Asian kids and there was no way they were ever going to tell their parents they were gay. And I understood.” Laws like the “Don’t Say Gay” bill are unlikely to be seen in Long Island, and Dr. Fazio understands firsthand how important that is.

If you have top administrators who are homophobic, then that’s going to get communicated down below them.

Similarly, Adam Fine, the current principal of East Hampton High School and an educator for over 18 years, L I N D A FA Z I O, S C H O O L P S Y C H O L O G I S T ensures that his staff and administration treat all students with dignity. Like However, a lack of reliable transportation for Long Island Dr. Fazio, he makes sure that students are given respect youth and the vast distance between homes, schools, and and help regardless of their identities, and believes community centers have reinforced a feeling of isolation that disclosing information about sexual orientation or for these already vulnerable students. Additionally, the gender identity to parents is not only unnecessary, but process towards addressing anti-GLBT bullying in the counterproductive to addressing bullying. classroom has been a slow one: each school district has its own procedures or lack thereof, thus hindering “Every issue that comes up is dealt with according to our protections across the board. code of conduct. We always seek to educate our students about language and bias language. The bottom line is that bullying is not accepted at our school,” Fine says.

Educators at the Forefront

Dr. Linda Fazio, who had been a school psychologist in Syosset High School for over 20 years and is now a LIGALY Board member, agrees that there is still a wide range of differences on Long Island regarding how homosexuality is seen, and this greatly affects the administration’s policies and thus their students. “Every school district is different, and everything starts from the top,” Dr. Fazio says. “If you have top administrators who are homophobic, then that’s going to get communicated down below them.” For example, in other states, some school districts are still trying to pass laws so that counselors and administration have the right to disclose the orientation or gender identity of their students to administration and parents of the students, thus “outing” potentially vulnerable youth without their consent. Just a few months ago, Tennessee tried passing the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, stating that new language needs to be reinstated – requiring school officials to inform parents if they suspect one of their students is gay and to not discuss sexual activity that is not “related to natural human reproduction.” Though the bill did not pass, the notion that a public “outing” in an institution a child ought to be considered safe in concerns educators and counselors alike.

Despite even the best efforts, however, bullying finds ways to continue in our schools. In East Hampton High School, junior David Hernandez Barros took his life a year ago after alleged bullying about his sexual orientation. While Fine did not comment specifically on the tragic incident, he stresses that his school takes anti-GLBT slurs and behaviors very seriously. “We investigate everything. Time is of the essence, so we put the appropriate resources where they need to be to determine if an issue has occurred,” Fine says. “Our high school is continuing to grow when faced with new situations […] we can always get better, and have adopted this mantra over the past few years.” But intervening against bullying goes beyond the actions of counselors and principals. In order to prevent the tragic outcomes of students like Palosz and Barros, educators like Katherine Gutkes believe that both what is taught in the classroom is just as critical, if not more so, than how the administration reacts to anti-GLBT incidents.

Dr. Fazio says such laws are particularly harmful. In her career, she shares that many students often came out to her regarding their sexual orientation or gender identity, and that most times, she was their only confidant.

Gutkes, having taught at both Roslyn Middle School and Roslyn High, is constantly aware that she is dealing with a particularly impressionable group of students. They are still capable of learning so much and learning to form their own thoughts and opinions critically, so she believes that encouraging them to think objectively about issues and argue a position will help grow them to be more open-minded, accepting adults – and curb bullying that she believes is largely the result of ignorance.

Aware of this, she says her primary goal was always building the child’s ego strength so that he or she could

In fact, she notes that as an English teacher, it is not uncommon to discuss works of literature in the class that

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

pertain to past issues of discrimination and civil rights. Texts such as To Kill a Mockingbird or A Doll’s House are quintessential middle and high school books that create a bridge, paralleling the racial and gender discrimination of the past with what students are being exposed to today with the GLBT movement. “I’d have them look at current events where there is seclusion in our society and ask them what they think people today could learn from these past texts that teach us otherwise,” Gutkes remarks. “Having students see the discrimination sometimes shown towards those in the GLBT community today and how [society] mimics these mistakes of the past allows students to further understand why discrimination is wrong.” Many think that bullying is an issue limited to younger grades, and while colleges and universities often embrace their diverse student body and offer support to GLBT young adults, prejudice can still linger on. Laura Angyal, an adjunct professor at the Post campus of Long Island University, adopts a proactive climate in her classroom with inclusive values, covering a wide variety of topics related to different minority groups. While some educators try to include the GLBT civil rights movement into their curriculum, Angyal opens her syllabus up even wider to cover a wide variety of gender and sexual minorities, always while setting ground rules in the classroom in order to protect her students and create an effective, safe learning environment. She has made it clear that homophobic comments by her students in the classroom are completely unacceptable, and she hopes that will carry into their actions outside her doors. “Many of my students are consistently eager to discuss gender stereotypes and their own experiences with gender discrimination. It’s extremely important to me to create a classroom environment where my students are able to speak honestly and respectfully with one another,” Angyal notes. As a college professor, Angyal has more freedom to change her curriculum to explore issues of sexual orientation and gender identity with her students. Just recently, Angyal had students read an article about Jenna Talackova, who was initially banned from competing in Canada’s Miss universe pageant because is a trans woman. Angyal then asked her students to argue whether or not C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E 1 1

Resources Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) has been on the forefront in ending bullying for over 20 years. LIGALY’s extensive anti-GLBT bullying programs are a part of the comprehensive Safe Schools Initiative. These programs include: • Workshops for students • Trainings for staff • LI GSA Network • National Coming Out Day Awareness Campaign • Safe Schools Team • Safe Space Sticker Campaign • LI Gay Parent Teacher Student Association

Learn more or schedule: www.ligaly.org | 631.665.2300

LIVING OUT

•

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

experience or program with not only the knowledge but also the tools to make a difference and a change,” Castellano shares.

they thought that Talackova should be able to compete. “Young people today need learning experiences like this. Sometimes people have difficulty grasping ideas that seem foreign or unusual to them,” Angyal remarks. “The goal is to teach students how to be open-minded in these situations and learn from them instead of immediately being judgmental.”

Having students see discrimination in class... allows them to understand why discrimination is wrong. K AT H E R I N E G U T K E S, H I G H S C H O O L T E A C H E R

Angyal believes that progress has been made with a student when he or she is able and willing to argue the importance of equal rights regarding sexual orientation and gender identity – regardless of whether that student can personally relate or not. However, simply relating to the experiences of GLBT classmates is not enough. Bruce Castellano, LIGALY Board President and a current college professor who has also had experience teaching high school courses, believes that educators must inspire students to become empowered, as that is the key to true change. Castellano began his advocacy work with students in 1971 in Mineola High School. His 34 year stay at the school proved to be impactful as he founded and ran an anti-bullying program in 1989 called Increase the Peace, which has since grown into a human rights program in schools across the metropolitan area. “I saw the whole spectrum of bullying. The GLBT community was an invisible minority for a very long time. The bullying we encountered was more racial or regarding body image,” Castellano recalls. “People of color came into the district, and that’s where the bullying started around the 90s.”

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Mineola still remains a blue collar, middle class district, and Castellano says that he is happy to see bullying beginning to end due to Increase the Peace. He shares that it first started as a Safe Schools Program, and he went to training sessions from the Human Rights Commission and the Nassau County Police Department and taught students what he learned from his sessions – then he began to attend Parent Teacher Association meetings and school board meetings in order to raise awareness about how the GLBT community was the most vulnerable at the time. “Increase the Peace was a name created by students. After talking to them, they said that most of the bullying happens behind the back of educators and administrators.” Castellano says, “My strong feeling is you’ve got to work with students. The job of the educator when it comes to bullying is to train and teach the entire population, which is mostly straight, to deal with being an upstander and intervening.” Now an adjunct professor at Adelphi University, Castellano’s program branched from an elective to part of the school of education and the department of sociology. Castellano, who is also the field coordinator for the Peace Studies and Human Rights minor program, is still driven to educate and empower his students.

“My goal as a human rights educator is to educate and empower so that students come away from a learning

Looking to the Future Long Island is moving in the right direction in fostering affirming environments for its students, but there is still much to do. For example, there are close to 100 middle and high schools with active gay-straight alliance (GSA) clubs – an impressive feat considering the often conservative climate of the region. However, that figure also means that only 40% of Long Island’s schools have such a GSA. Bullying will not end because teachers incorporate GLBT-themed works in their curriculum or because principals wear a rainbow ribbon. No one action will change the climate of schools across Long Island. But steps like these will make all the difference in the lives of those being bullied, and send a clear message to all students about the importance of inclusion and open-mindedness. Most all educators share the same sentiments as Gutkes, who remarks that it is helping and guiding students through the difficult worlds and intersections of adolescence and literature that she finds most gratifying about teaching. “When the day is over, and my students move on in their education, my only wish is that they may look back and remember what I had taught them and feel that they really learned something useful in my class,” Gutkes says. Educators are leading the charge by changing classrooms to include GLBT history and themes in a micro level, and administrators are working to ensure those ideas translate into the larger school environment – jobs with life-changing consequences that do not end when the doors close at 5 p.m., but continue long after graduation.

LIVING OUT

•

out on li

the local look

by BEVERLY FORTUNE

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE ONE LONG ISLAND WOMAN REFLECTS ON HER EXPERIENCE COMING OUT

Carolyn and Nick were high school sweethearts, dating since they were 14 years old. “We were best friends,” Carolyn says. They got engaged at 19 and married at 21. “We were like Barbie and Ken.” Growing up in an old-fashioned Italian household, Carolyn was brought up to cater to her spouse. “I came from a family where you didn’t think about anything but your husband.”

where large homes are surrounded by manicured lawns.

haven out there.”

Carolyn’s daughter was excited about having her first play date with a little girl down the street. When she dropped her daughter off, Carolyn met her neighbor, Nancy. They became fast friends and began socializing as a foursome with their husbands on a regular basis.

Eventually there were cracks in the relationship.

The couples spent a lot of time together, but Carolyn and Nancy’s relationship became more intimate.

They were married in the 80s, a time when weddings were elaborate, over-the-top affairs and friends would try and outdo each other with a bigger headpiece, or by adding 30 minutes to the Viennese Hour.

“It started to be more than a friendship, and one night there were fireworks and it all came to me,” Carolyn says. “I was in love with her.”

After their marriage, Carolyn kept working and Nick began to travel a lot. “We kept delaying having kids,” she says.

“As soon as I had the experience, there was no turning back,” Carolyn says of their first sexual encounter. “I knew I was not bisexual.”

Looking back, Carolyn remembers that they never stayed in one place for very long. “We were always moving, keeping ourselves busy,” she says.

At 38 years old, Carolyn’s sexual epiphany was typical for a woman her age. She fell in love rather than having a sudden realization that she was gay.

Over the next few years, they had two children. Financially they were doing well; they hired a nanny and Carolyn decided to open her own business.

AS SOON AS I HAD THE EXPERIENCE, THERE WAS NO TURNING BACK, I KNEW I WAS NOT BISEXUAL.

At home, Nick seemed depressed. “We had a long conversation, and got the family involved, and decided that therapy was going to fix whatever it was he had. We had a handful of sessions and decided to stay together. It was agreed that whatever ailed Nick was just a phase.”

As Nick was depressed, Carolyn suffered from low self-esteem. “I didn’t know anything about myself,” she recalls. The only thing that made Carolyn happy was her children. Even with problems at home, Carolyn was an astute businesswoman. After their third child was born, she opened two more businesses. The family lived in an upscale town on Long Island,

Falling in love with Nancy changed the way Carolyn saw herself and others. Her self-esteem soared. “I started to do things for myself,” she says. “Nancy taught me that I should care about myself more.” Although Carolyn was deeply in love with Nancy, there was pain involved as well. “I couldn’t tell my friends. I kept it a secret,” she says.

Growing up in a strict, religious home, she knew that telling her family that she was a lesbian just didn’t happen in her generation, so she finally told them through a letter. When someone has built their life living in the straight world and then turned everything upside down by announcing they’re gay, there can be many victims from the fallout. Both couples got divorced. Carolyn and Nancy bought a home together out East. “It was our own place,” she says. “We spent six years together living as a couple. It was our safe

“Nancy started pulling away. I wanted to move forward and she broke off the relationship. She began dating a man,” she says. “I had to ask myself, ‘What am I? Gay? Straight? Was it just her?’” Carolyn started seeing a therapist who asked her to reach back into her memories to see if she could recall having those feelings in prior years. Carolyn realized that there were some signs, but at the time wasn’t aware of them. She recalled having feelings for close friends, an infatuation with some of her female teachers and some actresses as well. “I loved beautiful, strong women role models back then,” she says. “More than the average girl my age.” Carolyn never acknowledged or acted on those feelings until she met and fell in love with her neighbor. “I had no other experiences except with Nancy,” she says. On top of feeling different, she didn’t think that she was even a typical lesbian. “I kept thinking I was weird or different,” she says. But as Carolyn went on, she realized that there were many other women like her with long hair and who wear the latest fashions—who just happened to be gay. “Now, it’s invigorating to be me!” Carolyn says. To find companionship, Carolyn says she has to travel into the city. “I’d like to make friends closer to home,” she adds. It’s never an easy decision to confess one’s deepest secret to friends and family, but after decades of lying to themselves and everyone else, more and more women are finding the power to tell the truth about their sexuality. “I know there are more women like me,” says Carolyn. “I have children and a business here. I’m not going anywhere.” As a divorced mother of three and a successful business owner, Carolyn says it’s difficult to find time to develop new friendships and relationships. As a gay woman who discovers her true self later in life, she knows it’s even more difficult to find other women in a similar situation. Carolyn’s mission is to connect these women together via telephone, social media, or in a support group. “I need to let other women like me know they’re not alone,” she says. “If you think you are, you’re not.”

This article was originally published in Milieu Magazine. 12

•

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

to effecting positive change for GLBT students,” stated Kerrie O’Neill, Director of Programs for The Long Island GLBT Services Network. Part of the action plan for the 2013-14 school year aims to educate and train schoolbased PTAs in every elementary, middle, and high school in both Nassau and Suffolk Counties. The LI Gay THE LI GAY PTSA’S WORK CONTINUES By Charlene Obernauer PTSA will continue this education and training until every GLBT student on Long Island has the opportunity to reach his The Long Island Gay Parent Teacher or her full academic and social potential in a Association (LI-Gay PTSA) is beginning the school that is not only safe, but is supportive and Fall 2013 school year, focusing on moving Long Island schools from tolerance to affirmation. The affirming of their GLBT identities. LI Gay PTSA was chartered in April of 2012 and One of its members, Roy Schmitt, a retired became the first GLBT-focused Parent Teacher principal, father, and grandfather of five, spoke Association in the nation. to the importance of changing the curriculum in Long Island schools to be more inclusive of “Since it is not confined to one specific school GLBT history. He referred back to the early 1990s district, The Long Island Gay PTSA is in a when the “Rainbow Curriculum,” designed unique position to be able to mobilize diverse to teach tolerance on New York City’s many communities, including parents and families, races, ethnicities, and sexualities, was met with students, teachers and school staff, as well homophobic pushback from local school boards. as youth-serving providers and community members from across Long Island dedicated

FROM ACCEPTANCE TO AFFIRMATION

“We have come a long way, but there is still little discussion of gay families in elementary schools, and more needs to be done,” said Schmitt, a gay parent who raised two daughters in Merrick. “Moving from tolerance to acceptance to affirmation is a very important journey for our culture and our society in general,” Schmitt asserted, as his infant granddaughter murmured in his arms. “It’s so important for kids to know that they’re okay and that the system supports them and affirms them.” Christine Kryjak, co-president of the group and resident of West Babylon, also spoke to the need for schools to create additional Gay Straight Alliances in both high schools and junior highs, so that young GLBT students have a place to go. “It’s a place for parents with questions to go before they go to their school,” Kryjak said of the LI Gay PTSA. The group will continue doing outreach to parents, teachers, and students to join their group, and are very optimistic about their ability to create a more GLBT-friendly Long Island. “When people see that you’re a caring and concerned parent, that’s what they care about most,” Kryjak concluded. “Everything else is secondary.” VISIT WWW.LIGALY.ORG FOR MORE.

LI GLBT EXPO SETS RECORD ATTENDANCE The 5th Annual Long Island GLBT Expo, the second-largest event of the year for Long Island’s GLBT community, ushered in a record attendance of more than 3,500 participants on Sunday, September 29 at the Hilton Long Island in Melville, NY. Guests had the opportunity to peruse close to 100 GLBT-friendly

business booths, participate in dozens of raffles, receive free gourmet food samples and giveaways, check out the latest technology at the Microsoft Bar, speak with career professionals at the Prudential Job Fair, and explore wedding services at the Thatched Cottage Wedding Center. Edward Cox, Assistant Executive

Director for the Eastern region division of NorthShore LIJ, said the following of the GLBT Expo: “This is a great collaborative event. It’s nice to see Long Island businesses embrace the GLBT community. Over the years, I’ve seen the Expo expand in diversity.”

of Real Housewives of New Jersey fame. The Bravo star met with fans, presented a live cooking demo, and signed copies of her latest cookbook. Other live entertainment included live DJs and the Long Island Gay Men’s Chorus.

The hit attraction for the Expo was special guest Teresa Giudice

The 6th Annual Long Island GLBT Expo will take place Fall 2014.

SEE PHOTOS FROM THE 5TH ANNUAL EXPO: TURN TO PAGE 18

WINTER BALL FUNDRAISER FOR HIV/AIDS A dinner-dance event being billed as a “swank event to raise critical funds for HIV/AIDs outreach, testing, prevention, education, and support” is returning to The Historical Thatched Cottage in Centerport on Saturday, December 7th.

“This is an opportunity for Long Islanders to bring their dancing shoes and an appetite for a good time in support of an even better cause,” said David Kilmnick, CEO of The Long Island GLBT Services Network.

Winter Ball, an evening benefiting The Long Island GLBT Services Network, holds special significance for the evening’s cause, as it commemorates World AIDS Day on December 1st. Long Island gay and bisexual men are still disproportionally affected by the virus, and The Network hopes to combat the continuing epidemic through funds raised at Winter Ball.

Tickets are now available: a special early bird discount is going on until October 25, 2013, and all tickets can be purchased online at www.liglbtnetwork.org or by phone at 516.323.0011. After the sell-out success of last year’s event, tickets will not be sold at the door, and organizers strongly encourage community members to purchase tickets early.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

out on li HOW OBAMACARE WILL HELP GLBT NEW YORKERS Beginning October 1st, New Yorkers across the state are enrolling in the new insurance exchange, thanks to The Affordable Care Act, also referred to as “Obamacare.” The new law will have an enormous and beneficial impact on the health of GLBT New Yorkers, especially those who are uninsured or underinsured. For example, the health insurance exchanges may not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, and you cannot be denied coverage based on pre-existing conditions, such as HIV status. Similarly, the change ensures there is a core set of basic health benefits that must be covered under every insurance plan, such as doctor visits, prescription drugs, and free preventive screenings for a variety of health issues, including HIV, blood pressure and cholesterol, depression, and tobacco use. Mental and behavioral health benefits must also be covered, and public health insurance coverage is expanded to individuals with tax credits available to make coverage more affordable. One in four GLBT people are currently uninsured, and millions more are underinsured. Whether the barrier for affordable health care has been the cost of insurance or discrimination, these barriers are being removed. If you are interested in learning more or getting assistance accessing the New York State health exchange, call The Long Island GLBT Community Center, at 516.323.0011. LIVING OUT

•

out and about i-music

by gregg shapiro

OUR TOP PICK Legendary soul singer Bobby Womack joins a long line of older musicians rediscovered by the younger generation, including Bettye LaVette, Candi Staton and the late Gil-Scott Heron. Womack’s endlessly thrilling comeback album The Bravest Man in the Universe (XL) is especially poignant in light of the news at the beginning of 2013 that he may be “in the early stages of Alzherimer’s.” An unquestionably modern recording, full of beats and synths, all put to good use on the title cut, “Please Forgive My Heart,” the Lana Del Rey duet “Dayglo Reflection,” the breathtaking “Stupid,” and the club-ready “Love Is Gonna Lift You Up.” The recording also respects Womack’s roots, a mark of bravery.

YOUR NEW FAVORITE ALBUM

For an album called Love In the Future (G.O.O.D. Music/Columbia), John Legend sounds stuck in the past. Spouting the same seductive spiel that singers have been recycling for years, Legend sounds like he’s running out of ways to say the same thing. “Made To Love” is an exception, but the rest is cliché.

Bruno Mars had his work cut out for him when it came to creating the follow-up to his insanely popular debut album Doo-Wops & Hooligans. On the surface, Unorthodox Jukebox (Atlantic) pushes the right buttons. “Locked Out of Heaven,” for example is a foot-stomping, fist-thrusting piece of pop-soul. If you skip the “sexy MF” intro to “Treasure,” you get to hear Mars do his best vintage Prince impression. Mars wails in repentance on the romantic ballad “When I Was Your Man,” blows in on a seductive island breeze on “Show Me” and pulls out the stops on the retro soul song “If I Knew.”

book review

Miguel is igniting his fanbase with his stellar second album Kaleidoscope Dream (RCA), made even more remarkable by the fact that there is no trace of ubiquitous producer names such as Pharrell Williams or Kanye West. Miguel is his own man, but he’s not too proud to tip his hat to his influences as he does on “Adorn” (the incomparable Gaye) and “Candles In The Sun” (both the political voice of Gaye and the words of William DeVaughn), or borrow from the classics for his samples.

by mike canestraro

RITA OR ROSITA? Rita Moreno is the first performer to achieve the sweep of all the major entertainment industry awards (the E.G.O.T. – and in the record time of just over a decade). She was the first Latina to win an Oscar for her iconic performance of Anita in West Side Story, winning the role from its originator on Broadway, Chita Rivera – whom she is often mistaken for.

GREAT READ

•

LIVING OUT

In all of the above, and so much more, including supporting roles in two classics: Singing’ in the Rain and The King and I. Moreno has always been sensational. Even in what she calls her stereotyped roles of Chiquita or Pepita, and far too many Indian maidens, you’ll find Moreno worth watching in many an awful film.

In her new memoir, Moreno reveals that her personal life hasn’t been much easier. An obsessive, lengthy affair with Marlon Brando drove her to a suicide attempt. She shares the wonder of her childhood home of Juncos, Puerto Rico and how she often wishes her ambitious mother never brought her to America. To her credit and unlike so many stars who write memoirs, Moreno does blame herself when recounting hard times by realizing how selfinvolved she often was. After all, Rita Moreno, born Rosita Dolores Alverio, admits to being two people. One is the shy girl who became an actress, the other an actress through and through. Now we can add author, and a fine one, to her list of accomplishments.

Raheem DeVaughn could be Miguel’s biggest competition, if only his lyrics were better or more interesting on A Place Called Love Land (Mass Appeal). Both DeVaughn and Legend would be wise to spend some time listening to Womack and Miguel.

Ciara is showing her growth as an artist with her newest self-titled album. The catchy, melodic album is backed by sultry and assertive lyrics, making Ciara (Epic Records) her most mature and polished album yet.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

television

by meryl lumba

out and about

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK IS THE NEW HIT SHOW TO WATCH NOW The quickly popular memoir-based series Orange is the New Black was wildly successful considering its status as a Netflix-exclusive show. Debuting this past July, this American comedy-drama created by Jenji Kohan scored a 79 out of 100 based on reviews from critics and has captured the excitement of fans worldwide. The show also generated more viewers and hours viewed in its first week than either of the other high-profile Netflix original series: the acclaimed House of Cards and the long-awaited fourth season of Arrested Development. At first, many viewers were wary: How could a show achieve such instantaneous success with such a varied demographic? How much would the show differ from the memoir Piper Kerman authored following her experiences in prison? The show succeeds with audiences because of its interesting storyline and superb writing. Piper Chapman (played by Taylor Schilling) proves to be more than just a privileged woman being sent to a women’s federal prison for 15 months; the story is one of a constant struggle in maintaining normalcy with her family on the outside, gaining the respect of other prisoners,

avoiding conflict with terrible prison guards and wardens, and surviving the loneliness of time behind bars. Co-star Alex Vause (played by Laura Prepon) is Piper’s ex – and the sole reason that Piper is in prison to begin with, as the two were former lovers and involved in a drug ring many years before.

While the series begins with painting obvious villains somewhat heavy-handedly, viewers begin to realize that privileged Piper is perhaps the most manipulative character on set – as seen through her back-and-forth relationship with Alex and Larry, her fiancé waiting for her on the other side.

Viewers develop a sense of empathy for each inmate introduced, as they each receive an explanation for their imprisonment through various flashbacks. The intersections of sexual orientation, race, socio-economic class, age, gender identity, religion, mental health, drug abuse, and culture all surface. Though these subjects may seem to be forced and awkward, creator Kohan transforms each into beautiful and relatable vignettes.

Other notable cast members include Galina “Red” Reznikov played by Kate Mulgrew, Sophia Burset played by Laverne Cox, and Miss Claudette Pelage played by Michelle Hurst. All in all, this is a series that can – and perhaps should, as many fans have suggested – be binge-watched in a weekend. PERFECT!

Orange Is the New Black is renewed for a second season and is currently in production. Watch the first season, streaming now on Netflix.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Equal Housing LIVING OUT • Opportunity. 15

show your pride

calendar of events PEP Health Saturday, October 5th, 10 a.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore The Pride Empowerment Project (PEP) provides GLBT and allied youth with the power to make proud and responsible choices concerning their sexual health. This interactive curriculum is provided in a one-day session with free lunch.

NCOD: Justice, Kindness & Social Responsibility Friday, October 11, 8 p.m. Manetto Hill Jewish Center, 244 Manetto Hill Road, Plainview Karen Taylor, Director of Jewish Outreach, is the special guest speaker on National Coming Out Day at the Manetto Hill Jewish Center. All are welcome.

Machatunim: A Suite of Stories About Making Queer Jewish Family Tuesday, October 15, 7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Author/storyteller/performer S. Bear Bergman shares stories about love and longing for family: how we create it, nurture it, and are nurtured within it. Co-sponsored by the Jewish Community Relations Council-LI and the Holocaust Memorial and Tolerance Center of Nassau County. FREE to youth, suggested donation: $18. Call 516.323.0011.

M’Yad L’Yad: Tools for Tolerance Wednesday, October 16, 7:30 p.m. Temple Beth El, 660 Park Avenue, Huntington Karen Taylor, Director of Jewish Outreach for Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, will discuss bullying and the value of justice, kindness and social responsibility. RSVP: 631.486.6636 or hands@myadlyad.org

Book and Author Event Sunday, October 20, 3 p.m. Sid Jacobson Jewish Community Center, 300 Forest Drive, East Hills John Schwartz, national correspondent for the New York Times and author of “Oddly Normal,” discusses how to help our children who are different as he talks about his son’s journey upon coming out. Co-sponsored by The Aleph Project of Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth RSVP: 516.484.1545 x 144 or einbger@ sjjcc.org

Hamptons Halloween Party Saturday, October 26, 7:30p.m. The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

Line Dancing Wednesday, October 23, 7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City

Aleph Project Youth Meetings Thursdays, 5:30-7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City

Join the youth for a fun night of karaoke, dancing, video games, and of course candy! Make sure you have your Halloween costume to blow us away in our costume contest!

Learn basic steps of different Line Dances before the music is turned up and you get to dance! Bring your cowboy or cowgirl boots (if you’ve got them) and be prepared for a great evening. Admission is $5.

The Aleph Project supports LGBT Jewish youth, their friends and allies, with programming and discussions reflecting their lives. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

Transgender Day of Remembrance Monday, November 18th from 7-10 p.m. The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor RSVP preferred by Monday, November 11th - no one is turned away at the door.

Transgender Day of Remembrance Wednesday, November 20th from 7-10 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore RSVP preferred by Wednesday, November 20th - no one is turned away at the door.

Clare Rose Playhouse: “Norman, Is That You?” Friday, October 11, 8 p.m. St. Joseph’s campus SAGE-LI’s very own Bob M. is directing and acting in this play. “Norman, Is That You?” is about a father, whose wife of thirty years left him, and goes to New York to seek solace from his son and discovers his son is gay. Norman, Is That You? is considered to be the very first play to have dealt openly and comedically with homosexuality. Tickets are $12 - RSVP required by Monday, October 7th.

East End Farm Picking and Lunch Friday, October 18, 11 a.m. Lewin Farms, Sound Ave., Wading River SAGE-LI is going to pick fresh produce, including apples and pumpkins, and then going for lunch at 1pm to Modern Snack Bar (located at 628 Main Road in Aquebogue). If we have time, we will stop at Briermeres for delicious pies! Transportation is available from The Center at Bay Shore – there are 12 spots in the van (first come, first serve). RSVP is required by Monday, October 14th.

Movie & Discussion: Mulan Tuesday, October 22, 11 a.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City A Disney movie about a girl who disguises herself as a male soldier and bravely leads her fellow warriors into battle.

•

LIVING OUT

Gayloween Spooktacular Saturday, October 26th, 5-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore SAGE-LI is hosting a Halloween Dance at The Center at Bay Shore. This is a costume party, so get out those witch’s caps, cat ears or superhero capes. If you don’t have a costume, you can still party with us! There is a $10 admission fee to cover the cost of food and beverages. RSVP required by Wednesday, October 23rd.

Book Club: The Last Time I Wore A Dress Tuesday, October 29th, 7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City The Last Time I Wore A Dress by Daphne Scholinski, is a memoir about Daphne’s experience at fifteen years old at a mental institution for the dubious diagnosis of “Gender Identity Disorder” and how she spent three years “treating” the problem with makeup lessons and instructions in how to walk like a girl.

AlAnon Wednesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www. liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

AlAnon Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Closed group for all ages. www. liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Alcoholics Anonymous Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www. liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Aleph 2.0 4th Mondays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City The Aleph 2.0 Project supports LGBT Jewish young adults in their 20s and 30s, with programming and discussions reflecting their lives. www. liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Brother2Brother 1st Thursdays, 7-8 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Social and discussion group for gay and bisexual men of color age 21+. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Co-Dependents Anonymous Thursdays, 7:30-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 12-step group for those who desire healthy and loving relationships. www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing – Nassau County Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing – Suffolk County Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st Friday of the month, 4-8 p.m. The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Garden City Mingle Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Garden City. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

Hampton Bays Mingle 2nd/4th Thursdays, 3-5 p.m. Hampton Bays Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for GLBT seniors 50+ on the East End. www. sageli.org, 631.665.2300

LIFE in Nassau 2nd Thursdays, 6:30-9 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City LIFE in Nassau meets every second Thursday. Open to adults of all genders and orientations with an interest in BDSM topics.

LIGALY Advisory Board Mondays, 5-7 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Bowl Long Island, 138 West Rd., Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League. LIPSAbowling@optonline.net, 516.375.9473.

LITE Social and Discussion Group Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st/3rd Mondays, 8-9 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City An open discussion group for transgender people and their friends and family. www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Living PositHIVly 2nd/4thThursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City A support group for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Monday Mingle Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore, SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Bay Shore. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

OUTlet Fridays, 8 p.m.-Midnight The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Friday night social program for GLBT youth and their friends ages 13-21. $2 admission, transportation available. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Parent Support Group 1st/3rd Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 2nd/4th Mondays, 6-7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Discussion group for parents of GLBT children. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

PEP Team – Suffolk Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Interactive leadership program promoting sexual health for GLBT young people. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Safe Schools Team Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.ligaly. org, 631.665.2300

Sag Harbor Mingle 1st and 3rd Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor The Hamptons GLBT Center is officially open and SAGE-LI is bringing a Mingle to Sag Harbor! Bring your friends and come meet new ones.

SAGE-LI Women at Nassau (SWAN) Wednesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

TRUE Social Discussion Group 4th Fridays, 6-7:30 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore A space for gay and bi men of color to talk about health, relationships, sexuality and other topics. www.ligaly. org, 516.323.0011

TRUE Calling Youth Video Project Tuesdays, 5 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for black and Latino gay and bisexual youth and their friends to show off their skills! Sing, act, dance, or perform. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

Women 2 Women Tuesdays, 7:15-8:45 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore W2W is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space for lesbians age 40+. www.w2wli.org, 631.921.8368

Youth Group Tuesdays, 5-6 p.m. The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor All East End youth should come check out this new hot GLBT spot. Every Tuesday is a fun interactive youth group: hang out with others in the lounge. You won’t want to miss it!

Have an event you want listed here? Email editor@ livingoutli.org!

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVE PERFORMANCE SUPPER CLUB H I STO R I C L A N D M A R K T H E AT E R

ON STAGE AT THE SUFFOLK THEATER

Friday, October 4, 2013, 8pm Featuring Paul Anthony, Chris Monty, Rob Falcone, and Tina Giorgi

Saturday, October 5, 2013, 8pm & Sunday, October 6, 2013, 2pm The concert version of the hit off Broadway show making it’s Long Island debut with an 11-PIECE ORCHESTRA!

Friday, October 11, 2013, 8pm Featuring the Nutopians

Sunday, October, 13, 2013 Sunday, October, 20, 2013, 2pm From Reggio to Riverhead featuring Richmond Country Orchestra Strings and direct from Ragusa, Siciliy, the Hyblart Dance Company.

Thursday, October 24, 2013, 7pm The second of the two debates will be moderated by Grant Parpan, News-Review editor Michael White and RiverheadLOCAL.com publisher Denise Civiletti.

Friday, October 25, 2013, 8pm Saturday, October 26, 2013, 8pm Featuring Mel Brooks’ “YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN”

THE “SUCCESS HAS NO DEMOGRAPHIC” CHALLENGE At The Prudential Insurance Company of America, success has no gender, gender expression/identity, age, race or sexual orientation obstacle. Success is for anyone who accepts the challenge of working for our respected global company. By creating an environment that values all people, at Prudential we are able to be innovative, relevant and successful in meeting our customers’ diverse financial needs. If you’re ready for the challenge, we’re ready for you.

Financial Professional Associate Career Development Program Through our Financial Professional Associate Career Development Program, you’ll have a strong foundation to reach your goals. Our most successful Financial Professional Associates are strong communicators and relationship builders with a drive for results. They’re men and women from all walks of life. Join us now and you’ll also be able to: • • • •

ENJOY excellent compensation potential PARTICIPATE in a ﬂexible training plan LEARN through on-the-job sales experiences EARN your professional licenses

Prudential received a 100% score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index for programs and practices that are inclusive of LGBT employees, consumers and investors. Find out why our diversity is also our strength. For more information, please contact: Rony A. Nehme CLU®, LUTCF, CLTC Managing Director Email: rony.nehme@prudential.com Phone: 516-794-6175

BOX OFFICE: 118 EAST MAIN STREET, RIVERHEAD >> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

©2012. Prudential, the Prudential logo, the Rock symbol and Bring Your Challenges are service marks of Prudential Financial, Inc. and its related entities. The Prudential Insurance Company of America, Newark, NJ and its affiliates are Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employers and are committed to diversity in its workforce. Prudential is an Employer that participates in E-Verify. 0213194-00005-00 Ed. 1/2013 LIVING OUT

•

be scene The 5th Annual LI GLBT Expo

Sunday, September 29th at the Hilton Long Island in Melville More than 3,500 GLBT and allied community members attended the 5th Annual Long Island GLBT Expo on Sunday, September 29, 2013. Participants interacted with close to 100 GLBTfriendly businesses, checked out the latest tech at the Microsoft Bar, participated in the Prudential Job Fair, and browsed the Thatched Cottage Wedding Showcase. Also this year, participants met Bravo TV star Teresa Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey fame, participated in a live cooking demonstration, and received signed copies of her cookbook.

â&#x20AC;˘

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

special insert!

The 2013-2014

LONG ISLAND

GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

Your Guide to Long Island’s Businesses That Support Our Community ALSO AVAILABLE ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

ABOUT THIS BUSINESS DIRECTORY special insert!

014

The 2013-2

LAND

LONG IS

GLBT

The 2013-2014 Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Business Directory is the exclusive listing of GLBT-friendly businesses on Long Island. The Directory is a publication of The Long Island GLBT Services Network.

S BUSINEOSRY T C DIRE

land’s to Long Is mmunity Your Guide ort Our Co pp Su at Th RG Businesses AILABLE

ALSO AV

ONLINE

ORK.O

IGLBTNETW

AT WWW.L

Each business listed within the directory is a member of The Network’s Partners in Pride business program. Each business has provided financial support to The Long Island GLBT Services Network, and we thank each business for their participation. Please support those who

support us: we strongly encourage you to patronize our Partners in Pride members. The Long Island GLBT Business Directory is also available online at www.liglbtnetwork.org. If you are a business owner or manager, or if you know a business or business leader that should be involved with Partners in Pride, please contact the Development Department at 516.323.0011. Thank you and enjoy your 2013-2014 Long Island GLBT Business Directory!

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

ACCOUNTANTS Peter J. Bertuglia, CPA, P.C., CFP, ADPA 775 Park Avenue, Suite 222 Huntington, NY 11743 tel. ��(631) 385-7003 email �� pjb@bertugliacpa.com web �� www.bertugliacpa.com Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor

Robert A. Corsentino, CPA, PC 105 Maxess Rd. S124 Melville, NY 11747 tel.. . . . . . . . . (631) 574-4500 fax. . . . . . . . . (631) 574-4501 email. . . . . . . bob@corsentinocpa.com web. . . . . . . . www.corsentinocpa.com All tax services for married and unmarried GLBT taxpayers. Look for our ad on this page

Steven M. Ostrer, J.D. 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110 Garden City, NY 11530 email ��s.ostrer@yahoo.com

ADOPTION ATTORNEY Law Office of Faith Getz Rousso Faith Getz Rousso, Esq 128 Front Street Mineola, NY 11501 tel. ��(516) 500-9292 toll free ��(800) 988-9089 fax. ��(516) 299-9314 email �� faith@roussoadoptlaw.com web ��www.privateadoptlaw.com Adoption Attorney; Concentrating on Private and Domestic Adoption for the GLBT Community

ATTORNEYS Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld, LLP Gregory Matalon, Partner 100 Jericho Quadrangle, Suite 233 Jericho, NY 11753 tel. ��(516) 931-8100 email ��gmatalon@cbmslaw.com web �� www.cbmslaw.com

Law Office of Adam B. Grossman Adam B. Grossman, Esq., Sole Practitioner PO Box 155 120 Court Street Riverhead, NY 11901 tel. ��(631) 727-4200 fax. ��(631) 369-4080 email �� agrossman2@verizon.net web. . . . . . . . . . . . www.adamgrossmanlawyer.com Estate planning for LGBT couples and singles, Real estate, Probate.

www.nardyhonda.com VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Exceptional Value. Extraordinary Service. Bethpage is owned by its members, so every dollar that is earned is reinvested in better rates and lower fees for our members. That difference in ownership translates to a difference in service that banks can't match. That's the Bethpage difference! First Mortgage (Purchase or Refinance) • NO application fee - a savings of $95! Home Equity Line of Credit • NO closing costs for loans or lines up to $250,000. • Save 0.25% with automatic transfer payment from a Bethpage checking account. Credit and Financial Education • FREE one-on-one credit counseling after hours with certified credit counselors at Balance Pro, a Bethpage Federal Credit Union partner. Business Services • Great rates, low fees! • Personalized service by local Business Specialists and underwriters! • Scan and deposit your checks from your office directly into your Bethpage Business Checking account. Auto Loan • Refinance your auto loan from another financial institution and see how much you can save each month!

Refer-a-Friend - Earn up to $250! Receive $25 for every friend or family member you refer to Bethpage who opens a new Bonus Checking account! Refer up to 10 people to earn $250!*

Direct Deposit When you do full direct deposit to a Bethpage checking account, we will give you $50 and give $50 to the Long Island GLBT Services Network on your behalf! You can also get co-branded checks!

Bethpage MasterCard® Credit Card New & Improved with more options! Bethpage offers 3 card types to choose from: • Low Interest Rate: as low as 8.15% APR** • CU Rewards: Cash Back • CU Rewards: Points - Redeem for travel, hotel stays, cruises and more! You can also choose to get a co-branded credit card!

* This promotion is open to all members with a Bethpage checking account who refer a friend to open a Bethpage Bonus Checking account. This offer may be withdrawn without prior notice. Share Account with $5 minimum balance is required before a checking account can be opened. “Refer a Friend” promotional payments will be deposited only after a member referral opens a checking account. Members are limited to 10 referrals, for a total payout of $250. **APR=Annual Percentage Rate. Rates and terms accurate as of 9/1/2013. The rate is variable and may change. Rates and terms subject to change without notice. Other rates and terms available. All offers of credit are subject to credit approval; applicants may be offered rates at higher rates and other terms.

More than 60 Branches and Shared Service Centers across Long Island Over 425 Surcharge-Free ATMs including CVS, 7-Eleven†, King Kullen and Costco† locations Free Online, Mobile and Telephone Banking, Free Mobile Check Deposit

†

Must show Co-Op logo. Membership conditions may apply.

lovebethpage.com | 800-628-7070

Federally Insured By NCUA.

EQUAL HOUSING

LENDER

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Partnering with you, partnering with the community.

Donaldsons is a proud sponsor of the LI GLBT Network

Donaldsons Volkswagen Subaru Sales, Service & Parts Center 5700 Sunrise Highway Sayville NY 11782 888.255.6712 www.donaldsonsvw.com www.donaldsonssubaru.com

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

At TD Bank, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re proud to celebrate the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community.

TD Bank, N.A. | Equal Housing Lender

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

CRUISE & TRAVEL

McGiff Halverson LLP Daniel O’Connell, Esq. 96 South Ocean Avenue Patchogue, NY 11772 tel. ��(646) 721-8813 email. . . . . . . . . . . . oconnell@mcgiffhalverson.com Same Sex Matrimonial, Pre and Post Nuptial Agreements, Business Litigation, Real Estate, Transactions.

AUTOMOTIVE

TD Bank

tel ��(888) 751-9000 web �� www.tdbank.com America’s most convenient bank Look for our ad on the previous page

CRUISEONE

Jonathan and Beth Turman Vacation Specialists 9 Hilldale Road Glen Cove, NY 11542 tel ��(516) 686-9015 email �� jturman@cruiseone.com web �� www.CruiseOne.com/BTurman Dream Vacations

Donaldsons Subaru

5700 Sunrise Highway Sayville, NY 11782 tel. ��(888) 255-6712 email ��john@donaldsonsvwsubaru.com web �� www.donaldsonssubaru.com The exclusive Subaru Dealer of the Long Island GLBT Services Network Look for our ad on the previous page

Capital One Bank

Evelyn Gonzalez 1572 New York Ave Huntington Station, NY 11746 tel ��(631) 427-2500 email. . . . . . . . . . . evelyn.gonzalez@capitalone.com

Citibank, NA

Nardy Honda Smithtown

Khalid Syed 559 Middle Country Road Saint James, NY 11780 tel. ��(631) 724-0300 fax ��(631) 724-0446 email �� syed@nardyhonda.com web ��www.nardyhonda.com Stands the Test of Time Look for our ad on page 2

Kimberly Carros 77 East Main Street Bay Shore, NY 11706 tel ��(631) 665-3200 fax ��(631) 665-8749 email ��Kimberly.Carros@Citi.com The Citi never sleeps

Coliseum Caterers

1660 Old Country Road Plainview, NY 11803 tel ��(516) 483-4900 email ��RGaldorisi@coliseumcaterers.com web �� www.coliseumcaterers.com Chef Prepared Catering From Brooklyn to Stony Brook and Beyond

Robert Suarez, AVP Community Development 899 S. Oyster Bay Rd. Bethpage, NY 11714 tel ��(516) 349-6826 email ��rsuarez@bethpagefcu.com web �� www.lovebethpage.com You’ll love banking here! Look for our ad on page 3 Find a Branch Near You:

• Huntington,

• Port

• Lynbrook • Massapequa • Melville • Mineola • North

• Roosevelt • Seaford • Smithtown • West

Babylon • Patchogue

EDUCATION

Briarcliffe College

Dr. George Santiago, President 1055 Stewart Ave. Bethpage, NY 11714 tel ��(516) 918-3698 email ��gsantiago@bcl.edu web �� www.briarcliffe.edu Briarcliffe College. Go Far. Look for our ad on the next page

Briarcliffe College

Bethpage Federal Credit Union

Levittown

Janet Clark 330 Motor Parkway, Suite 203 Hauppauge, NY 11788 tel ��(631) 951-3900 email ��jclark@discoverlongisland.com web ��www.discoverlongisland.com Ocean beaches, wineries, history, more. Free Long Island Travel Guide.

CATERING

BANKING

• Bay Shore • Bethpage • Central Islip • Commack • Elmont • Farmingdale • Freeport • Glen Cove • Hempstead

Long Island Convention & Visitors Bureau & Sports Commission

Mediterranean Manor Caterers

Lois Piro 303 East Main St. Patchogue, NY 11772 tel ��(631) 289-5857 email �� lois@medmanor.com web ��www.medmanor.com

Jefferson

Babylon

• Westbury

Visit www.bethpagefcu.com for directions.

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Dr. George Santiago, President 225 West Main Street Patchogue, NY 11772 tel ��(631) 654-5300 email ��lcommisso@bcl.edu web �� www.briarcliffe.edu Briarcliffe College. Go Far.

Briarcliffe College

Dr. George Santiago, President 30-30 Thomson Avenue Queens, NY 11101 tel ��(516) 918-3900 email �� lnasongkhla@bcl.edu web �� www.briarcliffe.edu Briarcliffe College. Go Far.

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY Kids by the Bunch LTD

Beth Turman MS - Director 49 Forest Avenue Glen Cove, NY 11542 tel ��(516) 671-5000 fax ��(516) 671-5857 email �� KBTBGlenCove@aol.com web �� kidsbythebunch.com Start Bright Stay Bright

Kids by the Bunch LTD

Beth Turman MS - Director 6801 Jericho Tpke Syosset, NY 11791 tel ��(516) 921-2550 fax ��(516) 921-2558 email ��kbtbsyosset@aol.com web �� kidsbythebunch.com Start Bright Stay Bright

Robert Half International

Jeffrey Kamberg 522 RXR Plaza, 5th Floor Uniondale, NY 11556 tel ��(516) 357-2000 email �� jeffrey.kamberg@rhi.com web ��www.rhi.com A Global Leader in Professional Staffing Services Since 1948

ENTERTAINMENT & NIGHTLIFE

Jellyfish Restaurant

441 East Main Street Centerport, NY 11721 tel ��(631) 262-0300 email �� jellyfishrestaurantli@gmail.com web ��www.jellyfishrestaurantli.com

Blanche Bar

47-2 Boundry Avenue South Farmingdale, NY 11735 tel ��(516) 694-6906 email �� blanchebar1@hotmail.com DAILY DRINK SPECIALS: Never a Cover. At intersection of Boundary Avenue and Broadway

Broadhollow Theatre Company

Robert Oneill Executive Artistic Director 265 East Main Street, Suite 160 East Islip, NY 11730 tel ��(631) 581-2700 email �� roneillbht@aol.com web ��www.broadhollow.org Forty Years Of Theatrical Excellence

FINANCIAL SERVICES Quality Life Solutions

Norine Grodin - Owner 99-45 67th Road Apt. 312 Forest Hills, NY 11375 tel ��(718) 275-0465 email �� norine@longtermcareplanners.com web �� www.longtermcareplanners.com We Help You Protect Your Financial Future

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

Ralph DePinto

Same sex financial planner Offices in Hauppauge, Melville, Manhattan tel �� (516) 318-4470 email ��rdepinto64@gmail.com Specializing in Estate and financial planning for same sex couples

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC

Glenn Rudy, Branch Manager 222 East Main Street Smithtown, NY 11787 tel ��(631) 360-2440 email ��glenn.rudy@wellsfargoadvisors.com Financial Services

FUNERAL & CREMATION SERVICES Moloney Funeral Homes

132 Ronkonkoma Avenue Lake Ronkonkoma, NY 11779 tel ��(631) 588-1515 email ��moloneyfh@aol.com web �� www.MoloneyFH.com Funeral and Cremation Services

GIFT SHOP

FLORALS & GARDENS Colonial Flower Shop

304 Hawkins Avenue Ronkonkoma, NY 11779 tel ��(631) 588-3733 email ��colonialronk@aol.com web �� www.colonialflowershoplr.com Quality is our Distinction

Luxurious Massage, Facial & Body Treatments

6 Carlton Avenue Port Washington, NY 11050 tel ��(516) 944-9200 email ��witandwhim@gmail.com the life & style shop with a twist Look for our ad on the next page

Drew Patrick Allt 128 West Main Street Bay Shore, NY 11706 tel ��(631) 206-3739 email ��drew@drewpatrickspa.com web �� www.drewpatrickspa.com Look for our ad on this page

AgeFocus Medical

Juan J. Gargiulo, MD 365 County Road 39A, Suite 10 Southampton, NY 11968 tel ��(631) 243-3628 email ��jjaycox@agefocus.net web ��www.agefocus.net Age management, hormone replacement, HCG, weight loss, cosmetic, facials, massages, slimlipo, venus freeze, and laser treatments AgeFocusQPLivingOutDirectoryAd_Layout 1 9/9/13 Look for our ad on 2:47 this PM pagePage 1

Homemade Soups & Coffeehouse Cafe

128

Drew Patrick Spa

wit & whim

Advanced Skincare Line

Medical Spa Treatments & Injectables

HEALTH & WELLNESS SERVICES

west main street, bay shore, new york drewpatrickspa.com 631-206-3739

Personal Training & Yoga

Our SLIM Procedure uses the advanced SlimLipo™ laser technology for body sculpting: • MELT UNWANTED FAT! • TIGHTEN YOUR SKIN! • OUTSTANDING RESULTS! • MINIMAL DISCOMFORT! • VISIBLE IMPROVEMENT! • GREAT FOR GYNECOMASTIA!

631.243.3628 www.AgeFocus.net 365 County Road 39A #10, Southampton, NY

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

KNOW YOUR STATUS.

FREE, QUICK & CONFIDENTIAL HIV/STI TESTING Get results in 20 minutes. Free condoms. Drop-in hours available for our three centers and by appointment. Learn more: 631.665.2300 or visit www.liglbtcenter.org

a unique philanthropic gift shop where edgy meets chic & artsy meets affordable discover a treasure house filled with vintage, contemporary, americana & global products for people of all ages! one added twist: profits from our creative collections go to organizations that benefit individuals, communities & our world. six carlton avenue, port washington, ny 11050 516-944-9200, wit-and-whim.com, facebook.com/witandwhimPW VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

East End Pain Center

Juan Gargiulo, MD 365 Country Road 39A, Unit 15 & 16 Southhampton, NY 11968 tel ��(631) 702-2300 email �� info@eastendpain.com web ��eastendpain.com Focused on your Quality of Life

HOME RENOVATION & REMODELING DirectBuy of Long Island

20 Oser Avenue Hauppauge, NY 11788 tel ��(631) 273-9400 email �� naushad@directbuyli.com web �� www.DirectBuy.com The number one way to buy direct for your home

Distinctive Decks

3 Willow Lane Coram, NY 11727 tel ��(631) 736-2828 email �� sales@distinctivedecksny.com web �� www.distinctivedecksny.com Builders of Custom Decks, Pergolas, & Patios. A Angie’s List Super Service Award Recipient

HOME SERVICES Custom Closets Direct

145 East Merrick Road Freeport, NY 11520 tel ��(516) 223-2232 fax ��(516) 223-2143 email �� curt@customeclosetsdirect.com Custom closets, home offices, entertainment centers, built-ins and more!

Stan Gelber & Sons, Inc.

1079 Front Street Uniondale, NY 11553 tel ��(516) 538-0040 email �� jgelber@gelber-sons.com web ��www.gelber-sons.com

Teresa’s Family Cleaning

341 Route 25A Rocky Point, NY 11778 tel ��(631) 744-4021 fax ��(631) 744-4028 email ��info@teresasfamilycleaning.com How dirty are you?

HOSPITALS

HOTEL, CATERING, & CONFERENCE Danfords Hotel and Marina

Therese Coppola, Director of Sales 25 East Broadway Port Jefferson, NY 11777 tel ��(631) 928-5200 fax ��(631) 928-9082 email �� tcoppola@danfords.com web ��www.danfords.com The perfect setting for weddings, social events and conferences

Heron Suites at Port of Egypt Marina

Erin Doucett 61600 Main Road Southold, NY 11971 tel ��(631) 765-5121 email �� info@heronsuites.com web ��www.heronsuites.com Your one stop destination resort. Look for our ad on this page

INSURANCE

Larsen Home Improvement

115 Newbridge Road Hicksville, NY 11801 tel ��(516) 935-3336 email �� sales@larsenhi.com web �� www.larsenhi.com Contractor - Dormers, Extensions, Kitchens, Bathrooms

U.S. Home Remodeling

706 Atlantic Avenue Baldwin, NY 11510 tel ��(516) 377-6853 email ��warrenglick@yahoo.com web ��www.americanrenovation.com Home Renovation and Remodeling, Specializing in Kitchens and Baths

Prudential North Shore Long Island Jewish Health System

301 E. Main St. Bay Shore, NY 11706 tel ��(631) 968-3000 email �� efraser@nshs.edu web ��www.northshorelij.com Hospitals in Manhasset, Syosset, Bay Shore, Plainview, Glen Cove, Staten Island, Queens, and Manhattan Look for our ad on the next page

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Allyson Swidler 530 RXR Plaza 5th Floor, West Tower Uniondale, NY 11556 tel ��(516) 507-5093 fax ��(516)357-8891 email ��allyson.swidler@prudential.com web �� www.prudential.com Look for our ad on the next page

Isolate. Attack. Overwhelm. Together, it’s what we do to cancer. Because we’ve found the best way to make cancer surrender is to give it a taste of its own medicine.

RelentlessCare.com 1-855-858-8550

1632-6_OVERWHELMED_8.75x11.25.indd 1

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG 9/23/13 10:25 AM

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

Allstate Insurance

John M. Cuenin 629 Route 112 Suite 10 Patchogue, NY 11772 tel ��(631) 758-7225 fax ��(631) 758-7229 email �� jc@allstate.com web �� www.allstate.com/012089 Auto, Homeowners, Life, and Long-Term Care Insurance

CBS Coverage Group, Inc.

Sarah Kaplan Goshin-Licensed Insurance Broker 111 Express Street Plainview, NY 11803 tel ��(516) 394-7580 fax ��(516) 938-7511 email �� sgoshin@cbsinsurance.com web �� www.cbsinsurance.com We offer Insurance....plus assurance. Look for our ad on this page

Long Island Pulse Magazine

Nada Marjanovich 1 Terry St., Suite 1 Patchogue, NY 11772 tel ��(631) 289-4315 email ��nada@lipulse.com web �� www.lipulse.com dining - the arts - lifestyle - business Look for our ad on the next page

JOIN THE DIRECTORY TODAY. CALL 516.323.0011 OR VISIT LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Family Wellness Center

Diana Clendaniel 120 Plant Ave Hauppauge, NY 11788 tel ��(631) 273-1300 email. . . DClendaniel@familyres.org

special insert!

The 2013-2014

LONG ISLAND

GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

AgeFocus Medical

IslandCare Pharmacy

John F. Civitello, RN Principal 1860 Walt Whitman Road Suite 700 Melville, NY 11747 tel ��(516) 822-6300 email ��johnc@islandcarerx.com web ��www.islandcarerx.com HIV/HCV/Oncology, Specialty Pharmacy

John Peterson DDS

ONLINE AT WWW.LI

8 Corporate Center Drive Suite 101 Melville, NY 11747 tel ��(631)752-0606 fax ��(631)752-0623 email �� lmontello@liivf.com “Building families every day” Look for our ad on the next page

REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE Marie Skarren Licensed Sales Associate 2300 Merrick Road Merrick, NY 11566 tel ��(516) 322-7135 email ��MSkarren@elliman.com web ��www.elliman.com/real-estate-agent/ marie-skarren/9153

Douglas Elliman Real Estate

Vincent DiDaniele, Licensed Sales Person 164 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743 tel ��(631) 498-1718 email ��vdidaniele@elliman.com

Douglas Elliman Real Estate

William Yule, Licensed Real Estate Sales Person 70 Jobs Lane Southhampton, NY 11968 tel ��(631) 560-4251 email �� william.yule@elliman.com web ��www.elliman.com/real-estate-agent/ william-yule/10396 Proudly servicing the HAMPTONS

FCU Holdings

2983 Long Beach Road Oceanside, NY 11572 tel ��(516) 536-5777 email ��jjpeter56@hotmail.com web ��www.qualitysleepnow.com Quality sleep the natural path to health and fitness

Your Guide to Long Island’s Businesses That Supp ort Our Community ALSO AVAILABLE

Long Island IVF

Douglas Elliman Real Estate

Juan J. Gargiulo, MD 365 County Road 39A Suite 10 Southampton, NY 11968 tel ��(631) 243-3628 email �� info@agefocus.net web ��www.agefocus.net Age management, hormone replacement, HCG, weight loss, cosmetic, facials, massages, slimlipo, venus freeze, and laser treatments

MEDIA

LIST YOUR BUSINESS HERE!

PHYSICIANS & HEALTH SERVICES

Frank C. Ullman 44 South Bayles Avenue Suite 210 Port Washington, NY 11050 tel ��(516) 250-6804 email �� fullman@fcuholdings.com Look for our ad on this page

GLBTNETWORK.OR

Are you working with an Insurance professional who understands your needs? Insuring with PRIDE

www.cbsinsurance.com NEW YORK CITY

Sarah Kaplan Goshin 516-394-7580 sgoshin@cbsinsurance.com Supporting All Your Insurance Needs.

PLAINVIEW

WESTHAMPTON

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

HOLDINGS FRANK C. ULLMAN FCU HOLDINGS, LLC 44 S. BAYLES AVENUE, SUITE 210 PORT WASHINGTON, NY 11050 T 516.250.6804 E FULLMAN@FCUHOLDINGS.COM W FCUHOLDINGS.COM

T:8.75 in

ADDRESSING THE UNIQUE FINANCIAL NEEDS OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY. Addressing the unique financial challenges faced by people in the LGBT community. At Prudential, that’s a challenge we can meet. Call me today and let’s talk about how we can help you.

P O

© 2013 Prudential Financial, Inc., and its related entities. Prudential, the Prudential logo, the Rock symbol and Bring Your Challenges are service marks of Prudential Financial, Inc., and its related entities. 0244811-00002-00

LGBT_CampDev. NP Ad_8.75x11.25.indd 1

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG 9/24/13 10:04 AM

J D

T:11.25 in

Allyson Swidler, LUTCF Manager, Financial Services The Prudential Insurance Company of America 530 RXR Plaza, West Tower Uniondale, NY 11556 Office 516-507-5093 Fax 516-357-8891 Allyson.Swidler@Prudential.com www.prudential.com/us/a.swidler

P P L T B G G C A C A T P

ART is my life. Long Island is my place. Long Island Pulse is my magazine. —Artist Jerelyn Hanrahan

Long Island Pulse Proudly Supports The 2013 GLBT EXPO

Sophisticated, successful professionals who live, work and play in the Hamptons, Gold Coast and boutique communities of Long Island subscribe to Long Island Pulse Magazine to catch up with the who’s who and find out where to go and what to do. Join this influential readership. Subscribe today at lipulse.com/subscribe.

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

631.289.4315 | lipulse.com

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

Paramount Land, Inc.

Jeffrey N. Zipser, Esq. 584 Main Street Islip, NY 11751 tel ��(631) 224-1345 email ��jzipser@paramountland.com web ��www.paramountland.com For all your residential and commercial real estate title needs throughout New York State.

Showcase Realty of Long Island

Mario D’Amore Licensed Real Estate Agent 457 Hawkins Avenue Lake Ronkonkoma, NY 11779 tel ��(631) 379-2929 fax ��(631) 585-2409 email �� mario@showcaselongisland.com Experiences in Real Estate Transactions - Residential/ Commercial. *Please mention Ad for discount*

SPIRITS

TECHNOLOGY Microsoft Store

Joe Giarratano 160 Walt Whitman Road Huntington Station, NY 17746 tel ��(631 )760-2340 email �� jogiarra@microsoft.com Microsoft Empowers Everyone

THERAPISTS & COUNSELORS

PNC Mortgage

Marc Franchi, NY Market Manager 666 Old Country Road Garden City, NY 11530 tel ��(516) 297-7102 email �� marc.franchi@pncmortgage.com web ��www.pncmortgage.com/marcfranchi For strengthening the pride in our communities.

Realty Connect USA

George and Joanne Fiori tel ��(516) 902-6544 email �� fiorisales@gmail.com web �� www.fioriteam.com/testimonials Serving Nassau and Queens Counties. We measure our success one family at a time.

El Dorado Rum

252 East 61st Street #3F-N New York, NY 10065 tel ��(917) 345-2282 email �� nalini@adyacommunications.com web �� www.theeldoradorum.com From a legendary land...Discover A Legendary Spirit - El Dorado Rum Look for our ad on the next page

Concierge Counseling of Eastern Long Island

Anita Goffman, LCSW Nancy Parker, LCSW tel ��(631) 288-8572 email �� info@cceli.com web ��www.cceli.com Highly experienced psychotherapy practice, with locations in Westhampton and Riverhead, providing confidential in-home and office counseling services for individuals, couples, seniors, adolescents and families; including alcohol and substance abuse issues. Evening and Weekend appointments available.

We Know What It Means to Have a Family. We Help Build Them Every Day. At Long Island IVF, we are committed to helping all people become parents, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status. When you are ready to start, Long Island IVF is here to help. Please contact us to learn more.

Melville Phone 631-752-0606 Brooklyn Phone 718-375-6400

Plainview Phone 516-939-2229

East Patchogue Phone 631-687-2229

West Islip Phone 631-661-5437

Building Families Every Day

Lake Success Phone 516-358-6363

Stony Brook Phone 631-331-7575

www.longislandivf.com

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

E. Sue Blume, LCSW, Diplomate in Clinical Social Work

28 Elm Place Freeport, NY 11520 tel ��(516) 379-4731 email ��esue@esueblume.com web ��www.esueblume.com Women’s Psychotherapy; Bereavement, Premarital, Divorce, & “Intimacy Skills Coaching” for all.

Michael J. Pratt, LCSW, CASAC

23 9th Street East Hampton, NY 11937 tel ��(516) 551-8594 email �� mjpratt1231@gmail.com Social Worker, Therapist, Addiction Specialist. Individual Family Counseling, Mental Health, Addiction, Panic, Teens to Seniors

TREE SERVICES O’Kula Tree Care

190 Frowein Road Center Moriches, NY 11934 tel ��(631) 878-8982 fax ��(631) 878-7294 email ��info@okulatreecare.com web �� www.okulatreecare.com ISA Certified Arborists: Deep Root Feeding, Tree/ Shrub Pruning and Removals, Organic Insect/Disease Spraying. “Quality Services with Respect for the Environment”

WEDDING SERVICES

Veronica Harkins

360 Ira Place Bayport, NY 11705 tel ��(631) 332-1288 email ��vharkins1@optonline.net Psychotherapist

445 East Main Street Centerport, NY 11721 tel ��(631) 261-1900 email �� info@thatchedcottage.com web ��www.thatchedcottage.com Look for our ad on the next page

anderbilt

MANSION

Vanderbilt Mansion

Theresa Aquilina, LCSW

22-30 Railroad Avenue Suite 2 Sayville, NY 11782 tel ��(516) 642-3381 fax ��(631) 256-5899 email ��doctee@optonline.net Psychotherapist

Thatched Cottage

tel ��(631) 261-1900 email ��joesatjfr@gmail.com

Artisan Photography & Media Group

Chuck Gosline, Photographer 141 S. Wellwood Avenue Lindenhurst, NY 11757 tel ��(516) 938-4430 email ��info@artisanphotogroup.com web �� www.artisanphotogroup.com Photography and video services, all occasions, personal and corporate Look for our ad on this page

CMY

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Ceremonies of the Heart

Reverend Deb Viola LMSW tel ��(516) 697-1400 email ��daviola11@aol.com web ��www.ceremoniesoftheheart.net Interfaith Minister/Wedding Officiant. Specializing in heart centered & personalized wedding ceremonies that will live in your hearts forever. Premarriage and couples counseling available.

LET THE ICONIC GOLD COAST inspire your next event! Captivating Waterfront Venues & Glamorous Vintage Flair On Beautiful Centerport Harbor

MANSION

Restaurant

• Historic Whitney Mansion. • Elegant Wrap Around Porches, Chic New Interiors. • No event is too small: intimate dinner parties, weddings, birthdays, etc.

R GROUP

2 EVENTS

• 100-year anniversary of Centerport Harbor venue. • Personal attention: only one event at a time. • Private boardwalk, alluring views, indoor & outdoor chapels.

Jellyfish Restaurant: 631.262.0300 441 East Main Street Centerport, NY 11721

• Iconic 57-Acre Estate on the Gold Coast. • Outdoor events with exquisite mansion in the backdrop. • Exclusive Catering by the R 2 Events Group.

Thatched Cottage: 631.261.1900 445 East Main Street Centerport, NY 11721

Vanderbilt Mansion: For More Information Call 631.261.1900

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

Cruise Control Limousine

Margaret or Glenn 200 North Strong Avenue Lindenhurst, NY 11757 tel �� (516) 797-7454 email. . . . info@cruisecontrollimo.com web. . . . . www.cruisecontrollimo.com

DJS Unlimited

Pierre or Carl 400 Crossways Park Drive Woodbury, NY 11797 tel �� (516) 496-9616 fax �� (516) 496-9620 email ��carl@djsunlimited.com The Ultimate Party Experience

DTAC Productions

DJ Domenica Islip, NY 11751 tel �� (602) 828-3374 email. . . . domenica@djdomenica.com web �� www.djdomenica.com Spinning a global mix of music

Paula M. Peterson LCSW, MSC

4 Long Springs Road Southampton, NY 11968 tel �� (631) 283-6729 email �� paula@hamptons.com web. . . . . www.paulampeterson.com/ ministry_services.html Ordained Interfaith Minister/Wedding Officiant, Baptisms, Memorials Licensed Clinical Psychotherapist/Bereavement, Relationships, Addictions

Reverand Terri Lynn Herbst

tel �� (516) 798-4181 email �� revterrilynn@aol.com Interfaith Wedding Officiant Look for our ad on this page

THE LONG ISLAND GLBT SERVICES NETWORK THANKS ALL OF ITS PARTNERS IN PRIDE MEMBERS.

PARTNERS IN PRIDE

BUSINESS PROGRAM special insert!

The 2013

-2014

LONG IS

GLBT LAND

BUSINES S DIRECTO RY

Your Businesse Guide to Long Islan s That Su d’s pport Ou r Commun ALSO AVA ity ILA BLE ONLIN

E AT WW

W.LIGLBTN

ETWORK

.ORG

Partners in Pride is the business membership program of The Long Island GLBT Services Network that connects GLBT-welcoming businesses with GLBT consumers, and helps GLBT-businesses network. A major component of Partners in Pride membership is inclusion in the Long Island GLBT Business Directory, the only directory of its kind, marketing directly to 15,000 households and 75,000 unique web site visitors.

To learn more:

Contact the Development Department 516.323.0011 | development@liglbtnetwork.org

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2013-2014 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

THE LONG ISLAND GLBT SERVICES NETWORK The Long Island GLBT Services Network is an association of non-profit organizations serving Long Island’s GLBT community throughout the lifespan. Together, each organization works to end homophobia and transphobia on Long Island, to provide a home and safe space for the GLBT community, and to advocate for equality. The Network and its organizations operate Long Island’s only three GLBT community centers on Long Island in Garden City, Bay Shore, and Sag Harbor.

Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) provides a safe space for GLBT youth, and empowers GLBT and straight-ally youth to create change in their schools and communities. Safe Schools Initiative // Friday night OUTlet // HIV Prevention // The Aleph Project // Leadership Development // Community Education // HELP Line // Pride Empowerment Project // LI Gay PTSA

The Long Island GLBT Community Center (The Center) builds community for GLBT adults and families through social, cultural, and health programming. CenterSpace // CARE Support Services // Anti-Violence Project - Long Island (AVPLI) // Transgender Services // M4Mhealth Program // Long Island Pride

Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders - Long Island (SAGE-LI) provides GLBT seniors ages 50+ with social support and health programming. Monday Mingle // Health & Wellness Programs // Senior Focus Discussion Group // Senior Advisory Board // Benefits and Entitlements Counseling

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR WORK: VISIT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

SUPPORT THE LONG ISLAND GLBT SERVICES NETWORK! Join The Long Island GLBT Services Network today as a Network Circle Member! Your membership supports the lifechanging work of: • Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) — services for GLBT youth ages 13-21 • The Long Island GLBT Community Center — services for GLBT adults and families and operating Long Island’s only three GLBT community centers • Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders — services for GLBT elder adults, age 50+ Join with a minimum of a onetime annual membership of $35, or become a Sustaining Member with a monthly donation of just $20 using your credit or debit card!

YES! I WANT TO SUPPORT THE WORK OF THE NETWORK! Network Circle Membership $35

$50

$100

$250

other amount: __________

Sustaining Membership

$150

$20/mo.

$50/mo.

$250/mo.

other monthly amount: __________

name(s) please write your name(s) exactly how you wish to be acknowledged

$100/mo.

$150/mo.

YOU CAN ALSO DONATE ONLINE AT LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

phone e-mail

address, city, state, zip

donation processing

mastercard

visa

amex

discover

check payable to LI GLBT Network

name on the card

signature

credit card number

cvv code

exp. date

Please send this completed form with payment to: The Long Island GLBT Services Network, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore, NY 11706

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

The 2013-2014

LONG ISLAND

GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

ALSO AVAILABLE ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Your Direct Source

For Great Events Planning

Production &

Management

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

EventKingsNY.com 631·392·1234

LIVING OUT

•

Quality Healthcare Services for Individuals with Special Needs and the Community at Large

Audiology *Dental *Dermatology *Endocrinology *Gynecology *Neurology Occupational Therapy *Optometry *Rehabilitative Medicine *Physical Therapy Podiatry *Primary Care *Psychiatry *Psychotherapy *Speech Therapy

Comprehensive and Caring Medical Services Lunchtime, Evening & Weekend Hours Medicare, Medicaid, and Some Major Health Insurance Plans Accepted Sliding Scale Available for those Eligible Most Credit Cards Accepted

Family Wellness Center

120 Plant Avenue  Hauppauge, NY 11788 Appointments: (631) 851-3810 www.familyres.org  fwcinfo@familyres.org

You are not alone, you are…FREE To Be FREE TO BE is a group that provides a safe, friendly environment for people to explore their sexuality, socialize, make new friends, and have the support of their community.

“Disability Is A Matter Of Perception. If You Can Do Just One Thing Well, You Are Needed By Someone” -Martina Navratilova

Socialization/Group Meetings Meetings are open to anyone interested in joining FREE TO BE who are GLBT, questioning and gay-straight alliance. Meetings Include Guest Speakers, Event Planning, Open Discussion, and Social Events Next Meeting Date: October 29, 2013 Time: 4:30pm to 6:00pm Location: FREE, 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 To learn more about FREE TO BE or to become a member, please contact us at freetobe@familyres.org Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 www.familyres.org l 516-870-1637

•

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

living healthy

parenting

THE SCARY SIDE OF Parents of young children generally have a good sense of their children’s age-appropriate needs during Halloween. They correctly accompany young children door to door, limit their activities to the immediate neighborhood, have children trick-or-treat while its still light out, carry flashlights at dusk, walk in groups accompanied by parents, and take advantage of the community or school’s Halloween parties.

Set guidelines for a safe night. For example, are shaving cream, toilet paper, and eggs allowed?

by laurie segal

HALLOWEEN! 4 Simple Tips for Parents of Teens For the parents of teenagers, however, it is a totally different story. Finding a balance between encouraging independence and setting age-appropriate limits is a dilemma each parent faces, exacerbated during Halloween. It is imperative that parents trust their instincts.

Know who your children are going out with and how many others will be in the group.

Cover expected curfews and issues regarding cars and alcohol a few days before Halloween.

Encourage children to call if plans change, or if they are uncertain how to handle a situation.

Remember, it is the nature of children and adolescents to push the limits. You, the parent, must remain stern, letting the children know how you feel, and teaching them how to take the necessary precautions. By doing so, you and your children will have a happier and safer Halloween.

ask laurie Dear Laurie, I’m a mess. I feel like an idiot because my son is only 16 months old and I’ve already lost control of him. He’s constantly hitting, biting, and pulling my hair. When I say “no” all he does is laugh. I don’t know what to do. – Helpless in Herricks Children ages 0-3 are unable to express their feelings directly. Physical actions and sounds take the place of words. What this means is that parents need to become more attuned to what children are trying to communicate through their acting out behavior. This is not to say that negative behavior should be permitted. Instead, a calm, clear, and consistent message should be sent to the child by all of his or her caretakers stating that hitting or biting is not allowed. For example, saying “no” in a monotone voice and gently, but firmly, holding the child’s hands by his or her sides each and every time he or she misbehaves should do the trick in a couple of weeks. Parental inconsistency, lack of follow through, mixed messages (such as laughing while you’re saying “no”), and turning children’s negative behavior into a game places the burden of unclear expectations on children’s shoulders. This often, if not always, leads to confusion and continued acting out on the part of the child. Good luck! –Laurie

“I thought all funeral homes conduct cremations the same. Boy, was I wrong.” Many people think all cremation providers are alike, until they hear terrible stories in the news about families who weren’t treated right. Our funeral home is the exclusive provider in our area to offer Cremation with Confidence™. This means we commit to a 10-step process in taking care of cremation. We are so committed, we offer the Cremation with Confidence™ Guarantee. Having served families for many years, we know how important it is to have peace of mind. Here at Moloney Family Funeral Homes, we have taken care of all the details.

YES! Please send me a Cremation with Confidence™ brochure along with cremation information for my family.

NAME ADDRESS CITY/STATE/ZIP

PHONE EMAIL

Please clip and send to: Moloney’s Lake Funeral Home and Cremation Center 132 Ronkonkoma Ave. • Lake Ronkonkoma, NY 11779

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Ask for the Cremation with Confidence™ brochure.

631-588-1515

www.moloneyfh.com

Serving all of Long Island with locations in: Central Islip, Holbrook, Hauppauge, Bohemia, Lake Ronkonkoma, and Port Jefferson Station LIVING OUT

•

living healthy wellness

by dr. bill blazey

Domestic Violence in the GLBT Community THE SIGNS

A common fallacy in today’s society is that gay men and lesbian women do not have issues of violence in their relationships. In fact, the rate of domestic violence in same-sex relationships is equal to, and sometimes higher, the rates found in heterosexual ones. There are many ways that an abuser may try to control his or her partner, and often times the abuse is more than just physical. Common threats include telling the survivor’s contacts about his or her sexual orientation, threatening to alienate their partner from their community, and even “outing” a spouse to their children if they share custody. • Does your partner keep you from spending time with friends or family members?

Many times, survivors of sexual or domestic abuse do not report the events. In the GLBT community, this underreported abuse is considerably higher. Some reasons people do not report abuse include fear of future violence as a repercussion, increased level of abuse if their abuser becomes angry, fear of being outed, loss of financial support, and loss of dignity.

• Are you “walking on eggs” or living with constant stress?

• Are you forced to have sex or are you hurt during sex?

• Does your abuser blame behavior on alcohol, drugs or his or her own history of abuse?

• Are you worried by mood changes and impending rage?

• Are you threatened with harm or are you afraid?

THE TYPES

Abuse is about power and the ability to control another person, but domestic abuse is conducted under the cover of a loving, safe situation. Most abusers are male but domestic abuse can be conducted by anyone. All relationships are affected by differences in the control of power; in an abusive relationship, this control is used to negatively impact one partner. Despite what the abuser says, he or she is not interested in the wellbeing of his or her partner. There are many ways that domestic violence can present itself, including physical, sexual, emotional, financial, and identitybased abuse.

WHAT TO DO Safety is the most important concern to address. After ensuring that you are physically safe, you need to seek help legally, mentally, and physically. See your doctor to have an exam to care for your physical needs. Therapy is strongly recommended,

• Does your partner seem like two different people – one is charming and loving, the other is mean and hurtful?

If you answer yes to any of the above questions, then the relationship you are in may be an unsafe one, and you should seek help.

Physical and sexual abuse are what is most commonly thought of; however, it may not be what you think it is. Sexual abuse occasionally presents itself as one partner withholding sexual intimacy in order to gain another reward. Emotional abuse often occurs as verbal and nonverbal statements that make the other partner feel less positive about him or herself. An abuser may say, “You should love me because there is no way anyone else would ever love you.” Financial abuse occurs when the abuser controls his or her partner’s spending ability, often making escape difficult due to limited access to money.

If you feel that you are physically in danger, you need to get out of the situation immediately and call 911.

however couples therapy is rarely suggested in an abusive relationship, since the abuser still has an opportunity to exert control over the victim. An abuser may attempt to justify his or her actions with past events, however abuse is never justified. You may need to seek

legal consultation to ensure that you are protected from future harm. Next, get support. Contact the Anti-Violence Project of the LI GLBT Center (631.665.2300) for free, confidential counseling, advocacy, and support.

DID YOU KNOW According to the most recent CDC survey on violence in relationships, sexual minority respondents reported levels of intimate partner violence at rates equal to or higher than those of heterosexuals.

44% and

of lesbians

61%

of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner.

4 in 10

gay men (1.1 million men) and nearly of all bisexual men in the US have been victimized by a sexually violent act at some point.

HALF

1 in 8

46%

lesbian women and of bisexual women have been raped in their lifetime, as compared to of heterosexual women.

17%

about the author: William R. Blazey, D.O. is an assistant professor of Family Medicine at NYIT’s College of Osteopathic Medicine.

•

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT

•

living smart travel

by joey amato

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas – unless you’re a journalist and have to write about it! My first trip back to Sin City in over 12 years proved to be a memorable one. Not only was I surprised by its enormity, but I was also shocked to see how upscale and chic the city has become. New hotels are everywhere, from the gigantic City Center compound to my residence for the stay, THEhotel at Mandalay Bay. Guests entering THEhotel are greeted by a modern, minimalistic lobby. The all-suite property boasts large guest rooms with separate living spaces, relaxing soaking baths, walk-in showers, and luxury linens throughout – not to mention sweeping views of the Las Vegas skyline.

One of the most majestic parts of THEhotel is miX. The rooftop restaurant and ultra-lounge decorated with hundreds of Murano glass spheres is quite a site. Floorto-ceiling windows provide the best

view of the strip and a 15-foot glass cellar holds approximately 7,000 bottles of wine from around the world. THEhotel is located within walking distance to Crystals at City Center, the magnificent indoor shopping mall where you’ll find everything from Bulgari and Christian

Dior to Paul Smith and Versace. Make sure to bring your credit card! Directly across the street from City Center is the Cosmopolitan. One of the highlights of my trip was a visit to The Chandelier, a breathtaking bar that is almost too majestic to describe

CHILD CARE LEARNING CENTER

•

LIVING OUT

KBTB 1-2 [Living Out-Parents with Pride].indd 1

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

5/23/13 7:39 AM

<< The Franco Dragone is an aquatic spectacle to behold (left). The Mandalay Bay Restaurant has a breathtaking view and a culinary palate of American and French influences.

Steak is the prime beef, dry aged for a minimum of 28 days in a Himalayan salt room. A Gordon Ramsey staple is Roasted Beef Wellington, a delicious selection accompanied by glazed root vegetables, potato puree, and red wine demi-glace.

in words. The three-story venue, located in the center of the casino, is simply a sight you can’t miss. Las Vegas is all about entertainment and what better way to start the Vegas experience than with a visit to Le Rêve – The Dream at Wynn Las Vegas. The Franco Dragone production is an aquatic spectacle featuring synchronized swimmers, aerialists, and a multimillion dollar stage design. Check out The Forum Shops at Caesar’s Palace, a shopping, dining, and entertainment mecca

featuring over 160 boutiques, 13 restaurants, and a menagerie of sculptures and art. Or if relaxation is desired, head to Qua Baths & Spa where guests can enjoy Roman baths, an herbal steam room, and even an Arctic Ice room. Massage treatments range from traditional Thai to Hot Stone with Aromatherapy and Hawaiian Lomi-Lomi, an experience based on Hawaiian concepts of working with the body, mind, and spirit. Those looking to catch some rays while gazing at the hottest eye candy on the strip should visit Temptation Sundays.

Do you dream of being a parent? Have lots of love to share?

The weekly GLBT pool party at the Luxor is the place to see and be seen. For a unique experience, rent a private cabana, located just steps away from the pool, where servers will be at your beck and call to provide you with delicious piña coladas, strawberry daiquiris, or signature mixed cocktails. For dinner, head to Gordon Ramsay Steak at Paris Las Vegas. One of the most unique items on the menu is the Kurobuta Pork Belly, served with braised swiss chard, candied kumquat, and cauliflower puree. For a lighter starter, begin with the Shellfish Platter, complete with tiger prawns, king crab, oysters, clams, and lobster served with champagne mignonette, citrus soy, and cocktail sauces. Of course the highlight of

Finally, no visit to Las Vegas would be complete without experiencing Frank Marino’s Diva’s Las Vegas at the Imperial Palace. Frank is the city’s longest-running headliner. Dressed as the wonderful and glamorous Joan Rivers, Frank leads the crowd through a divalicious performance by some of the world’s greatest female impersonators – not to mention about a dozen wardrobe changes. In true Las Vegas fashion, Frank generously takes the time to meet every audience member who attended the performance and donates a portion of merchandise proceeds to local charities. As my fabulous Vegas vacation draws to a close, I’m already planning my next visit: there’s something about the glitz and glamour of the city that always draws me back.

Law Office of

Faith Getz Rousso ADOP TION ATTORNEY

The Law Office of Faith Getz Rousso a boutique law office concentrating on all facets of domestic adoption law:

•

Same sex couples • Single Parent Adoption • 2nd Parent Adoption • Foster care adoption Contact the Law Office of Faith Getz Rousso for a free consultation Law Office of Faith Getz Rousso 128 Front Street Mineola, NY 11501 www.privateadoptlaw.com Tel: 516-500-9292

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT

•

living smart party ideas

by meryl lumba

TECH TALK WITH JEFF MAIN

Your digital camera is your memory catcher. Make sure you select the right type for you and your needs!

“What digital camera is right for me?”

Zombie Shooter

The Kid-Friendly

$180 Camera quality is important, but many parents consider durability even more critical. The rugged design of the Fujifilm FinePix XP60 resists water, freezing, shock, dust and sand, and has 16.4 megapixels and a variety of unique shooting modes.

The Budding Photographer If you’re looking to get into personal or even professional photography, you’ll want to pick up a DSLR camera, which stands for digital single-lens reflex camera. These types of cameras allow for changeable lenses for all different situations and applications, and these lenses are what makes photography an expensive hobby for most. Kits will be $550 most cost effective, like the Nikon D3200 24.2 MP Digital SLR Camera with a 18-55 mm zoom lens. Books, online forums, and even a class or two can help you master the basics and best use your new camera.

• 1/8 oz. lime juice • 3/4 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream

If you’re looking for a superior camera that you will have on you at all times, you may consider a hybrid smartphone-camera model. Phones like this put a strong emphasis on their camera quality, so other aspects of the smartphone may $300 suffer as a result. The Nokia Lumia 1020, for example, has an impressive 41 megapixel camera but is a bit heavier and clunkier than most other phones as a result.

• splash of grenadine

$500 Preserving memories is more than just still shots, so if you don’t have a standalone camcorder, you may want a two-in-one camera. The Olympus PEN E-PL2 is one such camera, boasting a 12.3 megapixel camera, built-in image stabilization, automatic face detection, and 1080i full HD video.

The Compact Point-And-Shoot You might be looking for an all-purpose, inexpensive point and shoot to take with you anywhere: the beach, a concert, a party. And if you want to travel light, pick a camera that isn’t heavy and can fit comfortably in your pocket. The Sony Cyber-shot DSC$200 WX300 has a variety of great shooting settings for any lighting or location, but removes a zoom lens to not add any extra weight to your travels.

•

LIVING OUT

• 1 1/4 oz. strawberry vodka

The Camera-Smartphone Duo

The Video and Still Shooter

Directions

What You’ll Need

Impress Your Guests Even More! Serve your drinks on a tray and place a few pieces of dry ice underneath for a smokey special effect.

What You’ll Need

3 4 5

Chill vodka for better smoothness. Pour vodka and lime juice to a shaker and shake then, strain into a shot glass. Use a straw to dip some Bailey’s Irish Cream into the shot. Submerge the straw into the Bailey’s and put your finger on top of the straw. Dip the straw tip into the vodka and slowly release your top finger. The Bailey’s will curdle. Repeat the straw and Bailey’s process to build a “brain” in the shot glass. Add a splash of grenadine to the concoction to add the “blood” to the mix.

Bloody Rum Punch

• 1-750ml bottle of rum • 1/2 bottle red wine • 6 ounces fresh lime juice • 6 ounces triple sec liqueur • 6 ounces simple syrup • 2 limes sliced in thin wheels • 2 red oranges sliced in thin wheels

Directions Add all ingredients into a large punch bowl and place in the refrigerator for at least two hours before serving. Serve over ice in a punch glass.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

living smart beauty

by matthew ambrosio

Let’s Have a Maskuerade Pamper yourself this autumn!

Masks are the beauty world’s cheat-sheet. By layering one of these thick and mineral rich muds on your face, the mask cleanses, purifies, repairs, and brightens your skin within minutes – with little effort. They are one of my personal favorite skin care habits, and rightfully so. Skin care masks come in a variety of formulas that will target several concerns. At the top of my list rank, the following masks, which used in conjunction or separately, can super-charge personal skin care or act as a stand-in for a lack of skin care enthusiasm.

Ahava Dead Sea Mud Mask Ahava is a line of skin and body products mined from the Dead Sea, imported from Israel. The minerals and nutrients within the mud are known for their purifying powers. Almost like magic, this mask will draw out dirt, oil, and toxins, improving the skin’s tone and clarity. The mud I suggest is actually meant for the body, however it can also be used for your face. For a therapeutic experience, heat the mask to a warm temperature and then spread. $16 for 13.6oz on Amazon

Borghese Fango Volcanic Mud Mask Fango hails from Tuscany’s volcanic hills. As an individual who battles between unbalanced oily to dry skin, this is my go-to. I use this mask twice a month to correct the imbalance of moisture in my skin. Different from other masks, Fango’s main benefit is skin hydration. Use this mask generously on your face and body for about 5-10 minutes, and avoid drying as it can have the reverse effect on your skin. It should be removed while still wet. $36 for 17.6oz on Amazon

Boscia Luminizing Black Mask If your skin needs a good detoxing mask with dirt-clearing powers, say hello to your new best friend. Liquid rubber and jet black in appearance, Boscia dries to a super tight peel-off mask. As you carefully and slowly peel, you will see texture in the mask that resembles the pores in your skin, which means a deep clean. It is not only a dirt detox, but also full of Vitamin C to illuminate the skin. In addition to normal skin care, I also recommend this mask before an evening out or a formal occasion because it gives you a smooth doll-face appearance and brightens you as well. It will make your complexion makeup look flawless. $42 for 2.8oz on Amazon

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Transform your focus from a job...To a vital role.

Direct care counselors Full Time – Part Time

Developmental Disabilities Institute can provide the training and career path for a fulfilling role in helping children and adults with autism and other developmental disorders. Excellent benefits. Locations throughout Suffolk. NYS driver’s license and HS diploma or equiv required.

For more info, Call Angele at 631.366.2955 or apply online at jobs.ddiny.org An EOE

LIVING OUT

•

living smart

finance

Cash Management Solutions for Your Small Business Whether you are a small retailer with $250,000 a year in sales or a large manufacturer and distributor with more than $20 million in annual sales revenue, there are many products, features, and benefits along with automated processes to improve the way your business can manage its finances. Check with your local banker today and ask about these products and services. It may just take your small business to the next stage of growth and success.

Remote Deposit Capture is a service that enables a small business to scan and deposit checks electronically from one’s workplace directly into his or her business account without ever having to leave the office or go to a branch. KEY BENEFITS • Convenience: Reduced visits to the branch cuts down on travel time costs and allows you to stay focused on your day-to-day business operations. • Better deposit availability: Usually, next-day-funds availability, which gives your small business enhanced cash flow capability • Reduced risk: Software rejects fraudulent items, validates date, presence of signature and endorsement, and detects duplicate check scans.

Online banking is useful for the same reasons as Remote Deposit Capture: Never leave the office or branch to take care of managing your finances, and conduct banking 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from anywhere.

Custom Features vary from place to place, but they are always a sophisticated set of tools that can be customized to suit any business needs, ensuring your operating cash flow needs are constantly met and that your small business prospers.

KEY BENEFITS • View real-time account balance information and history • Transfer funds between accounts • View images of cancelled checks • Online access to credit card information

KEY BENEFITS • Make loan payments • Export account information to Quickbooks, Quicken, Microsoft Money software • Access your account from anywhere

• • • • •

Balance reporting Detail transaction reporting Balance alerts On-screen check images Account-to-account transfers

• Stop payments • Wire transfers • Positive pay (prevents check fraud against your accounts) • Account reconciliation

PLAN YO UR VACATION TODAY Cruise to Paradise

www.CruiseOne.com/BTurman • Guaranteed Lowest Fares Available on all Major Ocean Cruise and River Cruise Lines • We are Not A Call Center all Bookings are Handled in House from beginning to end. • We offer the only 100% satisfaction Guarantee in the industry (ask for details)

•

LIVING OUT

Cruise One 1/2 [Living Out-Parents with Pride].indd 1

• On Board Spending Credits up to $500.00 on most cruises • Free Cabin Upgrades on most bookings • Discounted Shore Excursions available • Complimentarily Dinner for two in one of the Specialty restaurants onboard your ship (ask for details)

Jonathan & Beth Turman CruiseOne Luxury Vacation Specialist

(877) 394-7605 (516) 686-9015

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

5/23/13 7:28 AM

LI Press Pull Out AD FINAL.pdf

9/27/13

12:28 PM

GET INSPIRED! A Celebration of Long Island’s Arts, Culture and Cuisine!

LONG ISLAND

Join the fun Island-wide and all month long with our Signature Events Enjoy ARTS ALIVE LI CLASSIC events featuring ALEX KATZ, LOU GRAMM, MELISSA ERRICO, BETTY BUCKLEY and more!

Have fun with the kids at ARTS ALIVE LI FOR FAMILIES events including VIVA L’ART, GUSTAFER YELLOWGOLD and the CRAIC FESTIVAL: STOKED FEST

CMY

Grab your fork and taste what ARTS ALIVE LI FOR FOODIES events have to offer including ARTISANAL CHEESE 101 at AMERICAN CHEESE, GUY’S PIG ROAST at RESTAURANT MIRABELLE and HARVEST FEAST at ROOTS BISTRO GOURMAND • Find us at our Signature Events • Join us on Facebook and Twitter • Win free tickets and giveaways

Long Island Arts Alliance 100 Crossways Park West, Suite 107 Woodbury, NY 11797 (516) 224-8440 LongIslandArtsAlliance.org

#artsaliveli Facebook.com/ArtsAliveLI.org

For a full calendar of events, giveaway details and more, visit:

ArtsAliveLI.org SUPPORTERS:

PARTNERS:

PRESENTERS:

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT

•

points of view

op-ed

by reverend irene monroe

Harlem GLBT Residents at Risk In the pre-dawn hours of a Saturday in August, Islan Nettle, 21, who also went by the names Vaughn Nettles and Alon Nettles, was strolling and lollygagging with a group of her sister-friends on Frederick Douglas Boulevard between 147th and 148th Streets in Harlem. When she and the girls were recognized as transgender women, Paris Wilson, 20, began spewing homophobic epithets. Enraged by the sight of the women, Wilson crossed the street to where the women were and savagely pummeled Nettles, resulting in her death. Nettles’ death has shaken parts of Harlem, especially the Hamilton Heights community where Nettles was killed. Hamilton Heights in the last decade has gradually emerged as a GLBT community. A clear example of a new queer Harlem was in April 2010 when the Harlem Stage premiered the new documentary short film, “Marriage Equality: Byron Rushing and the Fight for Fairness,” allowing the largest public dialogue on same-sex marriage by GLBT people of color in the country. New York native and award-winning African American gay filmmaker Thomas Allen Harris directed the film. In June 2010, Harlem saw its first Pride. But Harlem still remains as both a complicated open and closeted queer social hot spot. Harlem’s transgender community wrestles more than any of us GLBs with Harlem’s homophobia. The struggle of Harlem’s 50

•

LIVING OUT

transgender community dates back, at least on record, to the early 1900s. By the time of the Harlem Renaissance, roughly from 1920 to 1935, GLBT African Americans carved out for themselves a queer space of self-expression. Its transgender community during this era was notoriously cheered and despised for their drag ball extravaganzas. Langston Hughes depicted the balls as “spectacles of color.” George Chauncey, author of Gay New York, wrote that during this period, “perhaps nowhere were more men willing to venture out in public in drag than in Harlem.” But the visibility of Harlem’s entire GLBT communities for the most part was forced to be on the “down low.”

unimaginable improved services to the area the city has long forgotten, like police protection, Starbucks, Wholefoods, and boutique shops, to name a few. But their presence has also created great resentment by those who were not forced to relocate from these communities, but rather are left to see the uncomfortable changes. I’m told the resentment of white queers taking up residence in Harlem has oddly been expressed more

groceries. Expecting a thank you she said instead that she hated seeing the sight of me and my partner move in. She said to me ‘see what you bringing up in here’ referring to my girlfriend being white. And she’ll be bringing more of her kind,” Asha said. Transphobia in black communities leave members of our community especially vulnerable, like Nettles. And our communities must be held accountable. While Harlem has always had a transgender community; it has never had to take serious public charges of a hate crime perpetrated against one of its transgender residents. Nettle’s mother, along with several Harlem GLBT groups, are contesting Wilson’s low bail set at $2,000. Such a low bail sends no meaningful message about the value of the lives of its transgender residents.

In June 2010, Harlem saw its first Pride. But Harlem still remains as both a complicated open and closeted queer social hot spot.

While a new black and visible GLBT face emerges in Harlem in the last decade, so too is a white one. When rents became prohibitive, especially in Greenwich Village, many Manhattan GLBT members took either a bridge over to Brooklyn or a train up to Harlem. And the number of whites in Harlem in the last decade has nearly doubled from 9.9 percent to 16.6 percent. These new GLBT residents in predominately poor communities and communities of color have brought

openly toward black GLBT members in the form of homophobic and transphobic attacks. Asha Greene, a trans woman, and Maureen Ryan, a lesbian, are recent graduates from NYU. While attending NYU they lived in one of the school’s leased apartments, but moved uptown when they couldn’t afford rent in the area. “My neighbor who has lived in this building for over 20 years never speaks to Maureen and barely speaks to me. When she, on this rare occasion, spoke to me, it was because I helped her with her

In 2013 Harlem is unquestionably a community in transition – and not only with its new residents. The uptick of insults and assaults on Harlem’s predominately black GLBT communities, some contest, is largely because of gentrification – a community’s feelings and frustrations wrongly expressed in both homophobic and transphobic ways. Homophobia and transphobia are forms of bigotry. Long-term residents of Harlem know bigotry all too well, as they’re recipients of it. Hopefully they won’t become experts on the other side too.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT

•

points of view

trans-missions

by gwen smith

On August 22nd, Chelsea Manning released the following announcement on the Today Show on NBC:

She. Ms. Manning is a recently incarcerated member of the US military who had released several thousand documents to WikiLeaks. She was sentenced to 35 years, a reduction in rank from Private First Class to Private, a dishonorable discharge, and a loss of her military pay. This isn’t about what Chelsea Manning did. This isn’t about calling her a patriot or a traitor. Personally, I feel she may be a bit of both, and while I don’t think her sentence fits the crime, I also feel that a lot of what she exposed should not have been hidden. I think the whole thing is complex and difficult, and not easily pinned down in the typical political dichotomies everything is typically reduced to. I also think that’s a good thing. We need to think beyond the notion of political ideologies – reduced to notions resembling rival sports teams. However, at the end of Chelsea Manning’s trial, her story took a turn that made it my business. Prior to the publication of Chelsea’s letter, lawyers for Manning attempted to claim that stress surrounding Manning’s gender identity may have been a part – but only a part – of the reason she leaked sensitive material.

•

LIVING OUT

A recent study from the Williams Institute discovered that transgender people are twice as likely to serve in the United States Armed Forces than non-transgender people. Many may also be seeking to reinforce male characteristics in one way or another. Only one of these transgender service members that we know of has released logs that they perhaps should not have. So now Manning has come out and her path is not an easy one. Transgender

While MSNBC, Slate, and the Huffington Post were quick to revise their use of names and pronouns with Manning, others were less willing to take that step. CNN and USA Today, for example, wanted more “evidence” before going forward, as if Manning’s own words were not enough. Others, such as the Associated Press – who should have used their own stylebook – and NPR went back and forth. Transgender and GLBT organizations have also stumbled. Controversy brewed in San Francisco over whether Manning could be a Grand Marshall, while other organizations tried to grasp a change from Manning as a gay man to a transgender woman.

Agree with what she did or not, she’s Chelsea E. Manning, and she’s a female, and she’s part of the transgender community.

I personally have an issue with this. While I’m no stranger to the stresses of being a transgender woman in our modern culture, I find myself concerned with any legal strategy that makes it sound as if being transgender can lead a person to commit criminal acts. While it was a largely open secret that Manning is transgender, seeing her legal team trot out a 2012 52

photo of her to discuss how she hoped joining the Army would help her “get rid” of her transgender “problem” does leave an ill taste in my mouth.

inmates often face ill treatment behind bars, and often find it next-to-impossible to get what treatment they may need. In Manning’s case, you have a whole new level of bias that may have her ability to get care behind bars all but impossible. Meanwhile, people all around the spectrum are tripping over themselves in trying to know what to call Manning.

Like I said above: Manning made it clear in her letter that she’s Chelsea Manning. She’ll be doing what she can, now that the trial is done, to move forward. Sometimes it takes something this dramatic to move a person forward, and I’m glad that she’s choosing to live a happy – even if imprisoned – life, rather than less lively options.

For better or worse, Manning’s fame, or infamy, depending on your opinion of what she did, make her one of the most wellknown transgender people of the modern era. Her name may be uttered as we speak of Chaz Bono or Laverne Cox of Orange is the New Black. Agree with what she did or not, she’s Chelsea E. Manning, and she’s a female, and she’s part of the transgender community. We don’t have to consider the nature of what she did, or if it was right or wrong: We need to understand that how she’s treated as a transperson is how we’re all treated. Her struggle is ours.

“I want to thank everybody who has supported me over the last three years. Throughout this long ordeal, your letters of support and encouragement have helped keep me strong. I am forever indebted to those who wrote to me, made a donation to my defense fund, or came to watch a portion of the trial. I would especially like to thank Courage to Resist and the Bradley Manning Support Network for their tireless efforts in raising awareness for my case and providing for my legal representation. As I transition into this next phase of my life, I want everyone to know the real me. I am Chelsea Manning. I am a female. Given the way that I feel, and have felt since childhood, I want to begin hormone therapy as soon as possible. I hope that you will support me in this transition. I also request that, starting today, you refer to me by my new name and use the feminine pronoun (except in official mail to the confinement facility). I look forward to receiving letters from supporters and having the opportunity to write back. Thank you, Chelsea E. Manning”

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Exciting Career Opportunities! Grow at The Network and make a difference in the lives of GLBT Long Islanders OPEN POSITIONS Health Promotion Coordinator Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc. (LIGALY) is seeking a full‐time Health Promotion Coordinator to deliver health promotion activities to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) youth, as well as delivering evidence-based programs and interventions. The Health Promotion Coordinator facilitates weekly Friday night youth social programs, coordinates targeted outreach and programming for GLBT youth of color, creates and implements curricula that focuses on leadership and healthy life skills, and conducts ongoing outreach and promotions. The Health Promotion Coordinator reports to the Director of Health Promotion and Education.

HIV Program Manager Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc. (LIGALY) is seeking a full-time HIV/STD Testing and Outreach Program Manager based at The Center at Garden City. The HIV/STD Testing and Outreach Program Manager is responsible for overall management of the program, delivery of HIV testing and STD screening services, Outreach and Education, HIV Prevention programming, and representing the organization and program in the greater community. The HIV/STD Testing and Outreach Program Manager reports to the Director of Programs.

HIV/STD Outreach and Testing Specialist Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc. (LIGALY) is seeking a fulltime HIV/STD Outreach and Testing Specialist. The Outreach and Testing Specialist will conduct HIV/STD testing at LIGALY’s three GLBT community centers in Nassau County, Suffolk County, and the East End, as well as offsite at community events. The Outreach and Testing Specialist will also be responsible for outreach efforts to engage gay and bisexual men to promote HIV/STD testing and prevention education services in order to ultimately stop the spread of HIV. The Outreach and Testing Specialist is supervised by the HIV/STD Outreach and Testing Program Manager.

FULL JOB LISTINGS AVAILABLE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

The Long Island GLBT Services Network, an association of non-profits working to end homophobia and transphobia on Long Island, is proud to be an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer. People of color, women, trans and gender non-conforming people, and individuals of diverse backgrounds encouraged to apply.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT

•

outspoken musings

by andy stern

Rainbow Rings The way the story goes, Adolph Hitler eschewed his philosophy about the “Master Race” only to be publicly and internationally humiliated when Jesse Owens, an African American athlete, won four gold medals at the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin. Frankly, I never much embraced the “We Showed Them!” mythology. I’m sure Hitler was exceedingly irritated by his “superior Aryan” losses, but to my knowledge it didn’t have the cause and effect of changing his belief system a wit. Cut to 2013. Russia passes a broad law banning “gay propaganda” and several gay activists call for a boycott of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. President Obama opposes the boycott, and adds that “the best way to show up those laws would be for gay or lesbian athletes to win medals.” To date, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has been downright disgusting, preemptively admonishing potential athletes of their responsibility to respect the laws of the host country. I would submit that, when it comes to Russia’s fundamental human rights violations, Martin Luther King, Jr. should serve as a far more critical reference point than Jesse Owens. We live in the age of social media, and for us not to attend the Winter Olympics would mean our righteous indignation and moral outrage would receive virtually no coverage outside our borders. So I would agree that a boycott is not the appropriate or most effective response. Spreading gay propaganda and civil disobedience is. We expect the very best from our

Olympic Athletes. All of the things we don’t particularly expect from our professional athletes – no performance enhancing drugs, ultimate sportsmanship, teamwork, professional and personal decorum – are all of the things we suddenly demand when going for the gold. What it means to represent one’s country takes on an oddly heroic quality. It becomes one tale of triumph over adversity after another, of representing the best our nation has to offer, of making our country proud. Which is precisely why those attending the Olympics should be real heroes and use it as a platform to stand tall and defend GLBT freedom. The Slalom, Snowboard, and Ski Jumping competitions are critical to be sure, and I don’t know what I would do without my figure skating, but the Winter Olympics can and should stand as a moment in time, a worldwide political condemnation

The Winter Olympics can and should stand as a moment in time, a worldwide political condemnation of Russia’s backward and draconian social policy. And America should lead the way. of Russia’s backward and draconian social policy. And America should lead the way.

the propaganda law. Just imagine the international outcry.

The term “propaganda” is so broad that taking a defiant stand is not terribly hard to do. Turn the Olympic Rings into a rainbow flag pin and distribute it to athletes far and wide to wear at the opening ceremonies. Ditto the condom packaging provided to athletes during their stay in the Olympic Village (at the London Summer Olympics, over 150,000 condoms were distributed to the athletes – a gay sex propaganda story just begging to be told). A whole lot of planned podium kissing. And, yes, I for one admit I would like to see some Olympic Athletes get arrested in Russia for breaking

Heroism takes many forms, the very least of which is winning a medal. Those athletes who have already condemned Russian policy before even going to the Olympics are heroes. Wentworth Miller, publicly declining an invitation to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival because of the country’s anti-gay laws and using it as a platform to come out of the closet, is a hero. Yet again, individuals are facing a profound opportunity to place courage above career, and actually stand for something. Small acts of civil disobedience on a massive public stage. Real heroes.

DISTINCTIVE DECKS BUILDERS OF CUSTOM DECKS, PERGOLAS & PATIOS SERVING LONG ISLAND FOR OVER 15 YEARS RECEIPIENT OF THE ANGIE’S LIST 2012 SUPER SERVICE AWARD 631-736-2828 • FREE ESTIMATES WWW.DISTINCTIVEDECKSNY.COM SALES@DISTINCTIVEDECKSNY.COM 54

•

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

outspoken the a to z

B E A B E T T E R A L LY

by meryl lumba

Bisexuality

NOUN The sexual attraction to both genders, opposite and the same.

Fast Facts

THE A TO Z SECTION FEATURES A DIFFERENT DEMOGRAPHIC EACH MONTH TO BETTER EDUCATE AND UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE UNIQUE IDENTITIES WITHIN OUR VAST AND VARIED GLBT COMMUNITY. SUGGEST A TOPIC AT EDITOR@ LIVINGOUTLI.ORG.

*According to the Williams Institute of the UCLA School of Law

Self-identified bisexuals make up the largest single population within the GLBT community and 1.8% of the general population in the US.

•

Don’t assume that every different-sex couple you see is heterosexual. One’s sexual orientation does not depend on the gender of his or her partner.

•

Question and challenge negative stereotypes when you encounter them. Bisexuals are not confused, oversexed, or fickle.

•

Know that no one person represents the entire community. Not all bisexuals fit into a gender binary and not all of them are a particular race or gender. Try to talk in gender-neutral terms: gender identity is separate from sexuality.

•

Try not to attempt to quantify “how bisexual” one is– and try not to categorize the person as “more gay” or “more straight” by asking sex-based only questions. A person’s sexual identity is not strictly correlated to one’s sexual behaviors or acts.

•

Respect one’s selfidentification.

More women identify as bisexual than lesbian, while fewer men identify as bisexual than gay.

Bisexuality is its own sexual orientation and is often incorrectly viewed as a “phase” to a “stable” gay or lesbian orientation.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

THE BI FLAG

The bi flag has three colors which represent the following: rose for attraction to the same gender, royal blue for attraction to the opposite gender, and lavender in the center for attraction to people in the gender spectrum.

LIVING OUT

•

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG