Issue 5, Volume 2: April 2014 by Living Out

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In THis Issue April 2014 - Volume 2, Issue 5 1 Cover

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4 5

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3 In this issue 6 in the news: national 7 in the news: interNational 8 Out on LI: Network News 12 Out Front: Jessica Kirson

8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

14 Out FRont: Lea Michelle 17 music Review: Divas by the dozen 18 out & About: Author Mark Zubro 20 Calendar

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 livingout 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury, NY 11797 516.323.0011

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David Kilmnick, Publisher info@livingoutli.org Linda romanello, editor editor@livingoutli.org alexis capitini, Art Director art@livingoutli.org Jonathan Chenkin, Advertising advertising@livingoutli.org

21 Be Scene: 19th Annual Long Island GLBT Conference 22 living healthy: Adoption & Fertility 24 living healthy: Spring injuries & Illnesses 26 Beauty: Spring Hair tips 27 travel: Nashville 28 Recipes: Spring Salads 28 What's the t: Spring clean your gadgets 30 Finance: Simple strategies for strong credit

Living Out is produced by The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network

32 Points of view: GENDA 33 Points of view: Nigeria's GLBT Cleansing Law 34 Points of view: Endings

get published! Want to join our team as a monthly contributor? We’re looking for talented writers and photographers to get involved in Long Island’s newest GLBT publication!

Contributors Joey Amato, Chris Azzopardi, Dr. Bill Blazey, Joanne Borden, Toni Calabrese, Chris McNamee, Rev. Irene Monroe, Rachel Roth, Diana Rusinak-Acevedo, Gregg Shapiro, Gwen Smith

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In the news

national News

By Rachel Roth

Colleges Punished for Gay-Themed Books

Crossfit sued for discrimination

A transgender woman in California is suing the company behind the popular CrossFit workouts for refusing to let her compete in the female division of its annual fitness competitions. The Associated Press reported that Chloie Jonsson, 34, was born male but has been living as a woman since she was a teenager. Jonsson underwent sex reassignment surgery eight years ago and,

per California law, she has satisfied the state's requirements for her to be recognized as female. A letter provided by CrossFit’s attorney, which defended the company’s decision, argued that regardless of surgery, Jonsson still has “genetic makeup that confers a physical and physiological advantage over women.”

HIV Can Spread Through Sex Between Women It rarely happens, but it is possible for HIV to be transmitted by sexual contact between women. This is a recent finding, according to a paper published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that looked at a particular case. The virus was spread through sexual activity that included unprotected sex, the use of sex toys, and sexual contact while menstruating. The CDC said this is the first confirmed case of its kind.

The Los Angeles Times reported that the women were in a monogamous relationship and other risk factors like intravenous drug use, transfusions or transplants, were absent. The CDC recommends that all couples where one person is HIV-negative and one person is HIV-positive should receive counseling regarding safer sex practices, even if both parties are female.

Alabama Lesbian couple denied divorce A married lesbian couple can’t get divorced because they live in a state that doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage. AL.com reported that a Madison County Circuit judge dismissed the divorce request, citing state law that does not recognize same-sex marriage, or same-sex marriages performed in other states. The couple lives in Hunstsville, but was legally married in Iowa. The lawyers plan to appeal.

Illinois Attorney General says gays can marry Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan announced that county clerks across the state can begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples immediately, despite the fact that the state’s marriage equality law does not take effect until June of this year. Madigan said that her office would intervene on the side of the plaintiffs and argue that the denial is unconstitutional. 6

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Majority of Americans say Gay marriage is ‘constitutional Right’ Support for gay marriage and adoption rights for gay couples in the U.S. is at an all-time high. According to an ABC News/Washington Post poll, 59 percent of Americans back marriage equality. Additionally, people overwhelmingly oppose the right to refuse service to gays, even if based on religious grounds.

The South Carolina House voted to reduce funding for the College of Charleston and the University of South Carolina Upstate because the schools assigned materials with GLBT themes. According to The State, $52,000 has been deducted from the College of Charleston’s budget and $17,142 from USC Upstate. The cuts are only a fraction of the universities' proposed state funding for next year but the decision to penalize the schools have drawn outrage from students, faculty, and alumni from both institutions. The House’s minority Democrats attempted to pass amendments that would restore the money, but were rejected soundly by nearly 2-to-1 margins in the GOPcontrolled House.

Bachmann: Gays “Bully” Americans Michele Bachmann accused the gay community of “bullying” the American people and politicians in an appearance on The Lars Larson Show. The Minnesota Representative was speaking in reference to the veto of an Arizona bill that would have allowed any businesses that asserted their religious beliefs the right to deny service to gay and lesbian customers. “The thing that I think that is getting a little tiresome is, the gay community thinks that they've so bullied the American people and they've so intimidated politicians that politicians fear them, and so they think that they get to dictate the agenda everywhere," Bachmann said. She added that intimidation by gays should not be used to take away her religious liberties, but that they could follow the constitutional process by advocating for changes. Governor Jan Brewer, who vetoed the bill, said the bill was "wrongly worded and could result in unintended and negative consequences."

Oregon Repubs. endorse gay marriage bill Republican activists and officials at the annual Dorchester Conference in Oregon urged the party to shift its stance on marriage equality, warning that they are “driving young voters away.” The attendees at the conference voted to endorse the state’s gay marriage ballot measure 233-162. Those in support of the measure argued the issue threatens to make the GOP irrelevant in the state if the party refuses to reform. At present, two lawsuits have been filed to overturn the state's same-sex marriage ban and a voter referendum on the issue is moving forward.

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international News

By Rachel Roth

church must “Evaluate” Swedish couple being run out of town Same Sex civil unoins Pope Francis has once again called on Catholic leaders to be more accepting of gay and lesbian congregation members. He implored leaders to explore the possibility of tolerance for same-sex civil unions where couples' economic and health security is at stake. “We have to look at the different cases and evaluate them in their variety,” the pontiff said in an interview with Italian newspaper Corriere delle Sera. The pope, however, did not say that the Vatican should endorse civil unions outright.

A gay couple in rural Sweden have said they have considered leaving town after they were subjected to a third allegedly homophobic attack in as many weeks. According to The Local, the couple, who live in the town of Kinna, had the back window of their car smashed with a large stone and had “fag,” and other expletives scratched into the side of their car. One of the men was attacked while walking their dog. Local residents, however, attempted to make a stand against the attacks, holding a demonstration in the town square against hate crimes. No one has been arrested for any of the crimes.

Debate on Homosexuality in islam axed The BBC received criticism for its decision to drop a planned debate about homosexuality in Islam from Free Speech, BBC Three's live debate and discussion TV program. Pink News reports that the show, which aired live from

Birmingham Central Mosque, was supposed to feature a debate on when it will be acceptable to be Muslim and gay. However, the show’s host Rick Edwards announced at the beginning of the episode that due to “deep concerns” from the mosque, the subject would be dropped.

The Dalai Lama expressed support for marriage equality and condemned acts of homophobia during a recent interview with Larry King. “If two people – a couple – really feel that way is more practical, more sort of satisfaction, both sides fully agree, then OK,” the spiritual leader told King. He also said he believes that each country had the right to choose for themselves whether to legalize gay unions.

UGandan leader signs harsh anti-gay bill, faces consequences

GLBT Activists Attacked at Moscow Rally A group of GLBT protestors were harassed and pelted with eggs for holding rainbow flags at a rally for International Women’s Day in Moscow, Gay Star News reported. Shortly after the protest began, Russian police demanded all rainbow flags be immediately

Dalai Lama endorses gay marriage

removed from the rally. Posters with anti-homophobia slogans were allowed to remain. In Russia, GLBT “propaganda” is banned and punishable by hefty fines of up to 1 million Rubles (roughly $27,000).

Ugandan President Yoweri M useveni has signed the Draconian anti-GLBT law that imposes tough penalties for homosexual acts. As Living Out has reported, the legislation imposes a 14-year prison sentence for first-time offenders and life sentences for repeat offenders found guilty of “aggravated homosexuality.” A number of countries including Sweden, Norway, and Denmark have cut aid to Uganda and political leaders and human rights organizations across the world have condemned the law. The European Parliament vows to “take immediate action in regards to political cooperation, aid, and asylum.” The United States, Uganda’s largest donor, has also suspended some of its aid to Uganda’s Ministry of Health in response to Museveni’s decision to sign the law. The amount of money that was withheld is unknown, but the U.S. gave $3.9 million last year.

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out on li HONOREES ANNOUNCED FOR LI GLBT NETWORK EQUALITY AWARDS GALA LARGEST GLBT FUNDRAISING DINNER ON LONG ISLAND SET FOR FRIDAY, MAY 2ND

The Long Island GLBT Network (The Network), the nation’s largest suburban organization serving the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) community, will be honoring Robert Budd, CEO of Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. (FREE) and the law firm of Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld, LLP for their work on behalf of The Network and the GLBT community. The Equality Awards Gala will take place on Friday, May 2nd at Carlyle on the Green at Bethpage State Park. The Gala, which is from 6:30pm – 11:30pm, is the largest GLBT fundraising dinner on Long Island and benefits The Network’s mission to end homophobia and transphobia, provide a home and safe space for the GLBT community and advocate for equality. More than 400 civic, political, and business leaders will be in attendance. “We are quite excited to be honoring Robert Budd and Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld, LLP for their leadership and advocacy on behalf of the GLBT community,” said David Kilmnick, Chief Executive Officer of The Network. “This year’s honorees represent significant voices in the movement for GLBT equality and highlight the progress and leadership that The Network has exhibited over the past 20 years in making Long Island a safer place for GLBT people.” Proceeds support The Network’s three service organizations — Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY); Long Island GLBT Community Center (The Center); and Services and Advocacy for GLBT EldersLong Island (SAGE-LI) — which provide a broad range of services for GLBT youth, adults, families, and older adults throughout the year.

MORE THAN 400 ATTEND THE 19TH ANNUAL LI GLBT CONFERENCE More than 400 students, educators, and professionals from dozens of Long Island school districts attended the 19th Annual Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Conference on Monday, March 10th at Stony Brook University. The full-day event, hosted by The Long Island GLBT Services Network (The Network), featured 21 workshops and panels exploring such topics as starting a school-based GayStraight Alliance club, GLBT history, the effects of anti-GLBT bullying, and health issues for GLBT youth. While there have been a number of monumental wins for equality across the nation this past year, including the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to strike down The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the Conference also acknowledged that there are still many challenges for the GLBT community ahead. HIV/ AIDS continues to affect young gay and bisexual men who make up more than half of newly diagnosed cases on Long Island, discrimination against transgender and gender non-conforming people continues to be legal in New York State, and bullying is still an epidemic in schools that disproportionately affects GLBT youth, despite legislation that prohibits it. At the conference, a workshop titled "Don't Stand By, Stand Up!: Strategies to Stop Bullying," allowed participants to learn how to identify

types of bullying and bystander behaviors. Through role-playing, participants learned what the appropriate responses to bullying are. Other workshops included "Underrepresented Minorities & STDs," "Parents as Advocates for Safer Schools," and "Q's About the T: Talking About Transgender Lives and Experiences." “This conference is the only event of its kind that focuses on such issues as eradicating anti-GLBT bullying and homophobia, eliminating transphobia within our communities and working to create a home and safe space for GLBT people across Long Island. By bringing together more than 400 students, educators, professionals and community members from across Nassau and Suffolk counties, this conference provided a truly unique opportunity to share ideas and build a unified movement for safety and equality,” said David Kilmnick, CEO of The Network.

TO SEE MORE PHOTOS FROM THE CONFERENCE, TURN TO PAGE 21

PROJECT HELM: YOU'RE ENROLLED, NOW WHAT? PROJECT

HELM Healthcare Enrollment for the LGBT Market

Through initiatives such as Project HELM (Health Enrollment for the LGBT Market), a program of The Long Island GLBT Network, Long Islanders have not only had the opportunity to learn more about the Affordable Care Act and the new Health Insurance Marketplace, but have been screened for eligibility and enrolled in health insurance that is within their means. While the Affordable Care Act extends a number of important health services to those who are enrolled, not everyone is aware of the benefits. For those who find it hard to know exactly where and how to get started, here is a look at some next steps, at what some of the services are, common questions and how those who are now insured can benefit most.

Get a Physical: Under the Affordable Care Act, free preventative care is part of 10 Essential Benefits. This includes a physical exam with your primary healthcare physician. Some other examples of free tests and screenings that you have access to include: HIV/ STD screening, Hepatitis A and B vaccines, flu shots, diabetes and blood pressure screenings, and mammograms/cervical cancer screening. If Your ID Card Hasn’t Arrived: If you enrolled by the deadline, but your card hasn’t arrived yet, your health plan can still cover services. Your health care provider can check with your insurer about your coverage. So go ahead and make that appointment. Choose A Doctor: Now is the time to choose a doctor, or find out if your doctor and your other health care providers are on your health plan. Call your doctor’s office and let them know what your new insurance plan is, and they can tell you if they accept it. Be sure to be specific that your plan is part of the new Health Insurance Marketplace. Also, you can visit your health plan’s website and check its provider directory, or call for information. If your doctor isn’t on your new plan, you have time to switch Marketplace plans during the enrollment period!

Learn More To learn more or to set up a one-on-one appointment, contact The Long Island GLBT Network at 631.665.2300 or email enroll@liglbtnetwork.org 8

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LIGALY Recognizes the Silencing Effect Anti-GLBT Bullying Has on Youth By Toni Calabrese We’ve all heard the old adage “silence is golden,” but have you ever stopped to think what else silence can mean? It can signify pain, fear, contentment, anxiety, respect – a plethora of emotions – and unless you are the person conveying the silence, you are left to ponder why someone isn’t using their voice. Every year, schools across Long Island (and the country) participate in Day of Silence, a national movement where students take a vow of silence to protest the silence that is forced upon GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender) youth. According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control), a 2009 survey of 7,000 GLBT middle and high school students, aged 13-21 years old, found that in the previous year, because of their sexual orientation, 8 out of 10 students had been verbally harassed at school, 4 out of 10 had been physically harassed at school, 6 out of 10 felt unsafe at school, and 1 out of 5 had been the victim of a physical assault at school. These numbers are staggering, and have most likely increased since the survey was conducted.

what’s going on.” Students are invited to come together at The Long Island GLBT Network’s Suffolk Center at Bay Shore, gain a voice, and express what Day of Silence has meant to them. The idea behind Night of Noise is to be able to let students to break their silence and empower them to be able to do something about the barriers GLBT youth face.

Currently, there are roughly between 10 to 12 schools on Long Island that participate in Day of Silence. LIGALY’s Community Educator, Sam Colbert, heads the organization’s special training sessions to GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) clubs in schools throughout Long Island, where they talk about advertising, what students can and cannot do throughout the school day, what they have the right to do in terms of being silent, and

how teachers and other faculty can become involved. Colbert believes it is a very important day to recognize a profound statement, “Silence can say a lot. Not being able to say anything in defense of yourself when you’re being bullied because of who you are can be silencing as well.”

Day of Silence is a chance for students and faculty to raise awareness and engage others about the dangers of anti-GLBT bullying. Some students stay silent for the entire day, some for portions of the day, and others will show support by advocating for the GLBT community by wearing pins and handing out cards/literature about the event. While the Day of Silence typically occurs in schools, LIGALY (Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth) created its own Night of Noise several years ago, which is held on the evening of Day of Silence (this year on April 11th). According to Robert Vitelli, Chief Operating Officer of The Long Island GLBT Network (The Network), Night of Noise “captures who we are in terms of being visible, and telling people

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Vitelli explained that one of the most powerful activities during Night of Noise is the build up and then destruction of a large cinderblock wall. The youth in attendance patiently wait on line to spray paint on the wall words that they have either been bullied with, or heard

others be bullied with. Then, in a positive and supportive environment, the youth are encouraged to break the wall with a sledgehammer to signify the breaking of the silence, as well as breaking the bullying that so many youth face each day.

The overall and important message LIGALY aims to convey is clearly that remaining silent while witnessing an act of bullying can be just as bad as actually being a bully. It is important to remember that even one voice can save a life. If students and schools are looking for a way to become involved in LIGALY’s Day of Silence training or its Night of Noise event, they can contact Sam Colbert, LIGALY Community Educator, at 631.665.2300 or visit www.liglbtnetwork.org. LIVING OUT

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COUNTDOWN TO PRIDE! TOP 5 REASONS YOU SHOULD ATTEND 1. Show Your Pride. Celebrate being a part of or

There’s really no better time to show your pride — or support for the GLBT community — than on Saturday, June 14th when the 24th Annual Long Island Gay Pride Parade and Pridefest, sponsored by Bethpage Federal Credit Union, returns to Huntington Village. Be among the more than 15,000 attendees, as a participant or spectator, and join in the fun. The parade kicks off at 12pm down Main Street, with PrideFest following in Heckscher Park, starting at 1pm. Along with the marchers and floats, exhibitors and entertainers, everyone is invited to join in the festivities! If you need more encouragement, here are the Top 5 reasons why you should attend this year’s Pride celebration:

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advocate for the GLBT community at Long Island’s largest GLBT event of the year. Cheer on the marchers and floats as they head down Main Street during the parade. With more than 15,000 people expected to attend, you’re sure to rub elbows with someone new! Families can spend some time in the Children's Area with activities that everyone can enjoy.

3. Experience Special TD Bank VIP Lounge.

2. Party at PrideFest. This year’s event is bringing

4. Interact with GLBT Welcoming Businesses.

top-notch performances from 80s/90s pop icon Taylor Dayne (“Tell It To My Heart”), Kristine W. (“I’ll Be Your Light”), and Prince Poppycock (finalist on “America’s Got Talent”) as well as local performers. PrideFest offers a range of fun and delicious amenites such as the beer garden, food trucks and dozens of other vendors offering souvenirs, novelty items and business promotions!

Participants will receive an exclusive gift bag, private bar with wine, plush lounge seating, a tent over head to provide shade from the sun, a great view of the stage, complimentary passed hors d’oeuvres, and if you’re a TD Bank cardholder, a private TD Bank fasttrack entrance and gift bag.

Come and meet with services, retail, financial, apparel vendors and more serving the GLBT community.

5. Support The Network. From souvenir t-shirts

to donations all proceeds from the event support The Network’s important mission to end homophobia and transphobia, provide a safe space for the GLBT community and advocate for equality.

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Comic Genius: The Side-Splitting Humor of Jessica Kirson BY GREGG SHAPIRO Aside from death and taxes, few things in life are certain. However, you can be sure of two things when you attend a show by lesbian comic Jessica Kirson. You will laugh so much that you will be in physical pain (but you won’t mind) and you will probably find something offensive in her act (but you still won’t mind). The most refreshing and original comic on the scene, Kirson competed on NBC’s Last Comic Standing and has had her praises sung by comic goddess Joy Behar. Her elastic face and gift for voices take Kirson’s comedy to another level altogether. Here’s a look into the mind, and comedy, of Kirson…

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Your family is featured in a lot of your material. How do they feel about being the subject of your jokes? They don't care at all. I mean, I'm never mean-spirited about it. I never say anything that I would feel guilty about [laughs]. They're fine about it. They're very much a part of who I am in my humor, so I talk about them a lot. My mom's a therapist, so there's a lot of material there. Would you say that your sense of humor is genetic? We always laugh together, through everything, the pain that has happened in our lives. Whenever my family gets together, we all laugh. That's what we've always done. My parents are both very funny. My father is hysterical; he's got a great sense of humor. My mother is funny; but she doesn’t mean to be. It's one of those things.

up taking a six-week-long class and trying it. I was very nervous to do it. I had to work through that, because I was panicked to be on stage in front of people. She was right [laughs]. You also incorporate accents and voices in your act. As a kid, in junior high school, high school and college, I was always imitating people. Their voices and faces and the way they look. All that stuff. I have a knack for that, for imitating people. Do you have a favorite accent to do? I love doing my Jewish grandmother. I also love imitating a black woman. Those are the ones that everyone really likes.

something like, "Wheat bread is still bread, it's not a vegetable.” I'll end by telling myself something real, something I didn't realize. It’s interesting because it's both therapeutic for you and also entertaining for the audience. It's very entertaining to the audience because it's honest and real. If a joke doesn't work that well, the audience knows it. It's kind of a way of breaking it up and turning to the side. Sometimes I'll say, "That's a really funny joke. You just need to work on the punch line." It's just all honest. I feel like the more honest you are with the crowd, the more they laugh. Speaking of laughing, what did it mean to you to have Billie Jean King laughing so hard at your jokes on Celebrity Apprentice?

Something else that’s really unique is the stream of conscious aspect of your work. You’re also know for all of your facial expressions. The confident, ugly girl is a good example. They are really spectacular. Do you practice in front of a mirror? [Laughs] Thank you! No, I've always been making faces my whole life. Even as a little kid. Someone just sent me a picture of when I was little and I was making a face in the picture. I've always done that. Again, my father is very expressive. I've always been silly and made faces. I was the class clown. Actually, I started comedy 15 years ago because my grandmother took me aside and said, "Every time people are around you, they're always laughing.” She was watching me sit with people in my family at some event or something. She said, "You should be a stand-up comedian.” I'd never thought of it before. I never thought I could do it. I ended

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There are a couple reasons for that. I teach comedy and I tell people that if you are in your head, you should address what's going on. Meaning that if someone (in the audience) is not laughing and just staring at you, and it's bothering you, you have to address it. Otherwise, you'll think about it the whole time and you're not present. I feel like so much of being a great standup is being present and in the moment. Once in a while you'll do something and it will click and you'll get a huge laugh. But sometimes you have to work through something. For a while that didn't work and I had to learn how to do it and at what times. When the joke doesn't work that well or if it's something new or if it's something I didn't get the laugh I felt I deserved or I'm used to getting for something, I'll turn to the side. It's really like a motivational thing. "You're very talented. It's okay. You worked very hard." I'll end it with

different things, such as YouTube, blogs, Twitter, all different ways of promoting yourself. It's not easy. It's really time consuming, but you just can't depend on standup. I'm glad that you mentioned doing standup, because you appear to spend a lot of time touring. How much of the year do you spend doing that? It's hard to say. Sometimes it's more than others. In the beginning I did anything, any show. For a long time I've been very selective. I can't do a week on the road at a horrible club in the middle of the country for no money. It has to be worth it for me for a long time now, because it's too depressing. I worked hard, so I've been able to, thank God, pick and choose the things that I want to do. But I have been touring a lot because I've been going to a lot of colleges again. Stuff comes up all the time. I realized over time that you can't just do everything and give up your life. There was a time

It's always a big deal to have people like that laughing at you and to have people say things to you. I just performed with Rosie (O'Donnell) and she was like, "You’re brilliant!" When I did that 'I think it's important to have show, Kevin Kline was in the audience, and a a presence anywhere you bunch of other people. can...You have to do different It always means a lot when someone who is things...It's not easy.' very talented, especially a standup. I had Robin Williams hugging me and kissing when I was doing 10-20 shows a me after a show, saying "You're week. The hardest part, for me, of so honest. You’re fearless. Keep being a professional standup is to doing what you're doing.” Those balance everything. You have to are people who've been through have a personal life. I realized that the struggle. over time. At times when I haven't, I've only focused on standup, my You make good use of YouTube career didn't go as well and I was with The Jessy K Show. Do you miserable. think it's important for a comedian to have a presence What about being on SNL? on YouTube as well as doing a regular standup tour and That's my dream. That's really making club and television everyone's dream. Not everyone, appearances? but a lot of people. I really believe that whatever’s supposed to I think it's important to have a happen happens. I know a lot of presence anywhere you can. people who have been on SNL and Now it's not just about being are on SNL and they are miserable. a great standup. I've done The It's a hard show to be on. I came Tonight Show twice. If you were a very close to being on MadTV. I great standup, and you did the don't know what my calling is, show, that was it. You were seen what I'm supposed to do. I've and discovered. Now the whole always felt like I was supposed to business is different. I always do a talk show. I don't know if that tell people that you have to do will happen. We'll see. LIVING OUT

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photography by Peggy Sirota 14

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Heart Spoken Lea Michele talks lesbian role on Looking, being called a diva and Glee legacy

interview by Chris Azzopardi

“No personal questions” is the caveat before getting on the phone with Lea Michele, TV’s Rachel Berry. It’s an acceptable exception given the Glee star’s painfully tragic last year: Her on- and off-screen boyfriend, Cory Monteith, died suddenly on July 13, 2013 from a drug overdose.

The album is a throwback to an era when it was just about the voice, when Celine, Mariah and Whitney ruled the world. Were you inspired by any of these women while recording it?

Recorded around the time of Monteith’s passing, those feelings of loss are still raw on Louder, Michele’s debut album. The singer dedicated “You’re Mine” to Monteith, and the crushingly beautiful “If You Say So” was inspired by his last words to her. “I can’t believe it’s true,” she laments on the latter, “I keep looking for you.”

I don’t think I’ve gone a day in my life without being inspired by Celine Dion. If you would’ve seen me at her concert in Las Vegas – like, I’m surprised I didn’t get kicked out. I was literally sitting at the edge of my seat like the happiest girl in the entire universe. But no – I’ve always been inspired by female performers and artists who really surround who they are around their voice. For me, it’s always been about the voice. I wanna hear someone just sit by a piano, on a stool, and just sing – and that’s it! It’s never been about anything other than that for me. I always really wanted to make an album, and it was so important to me that I could be current and relevant and still fun, but at the same time show that I’m a singer – that’s what I pride myself on first and foremost.

How much of Louder is a reflection of your life and your own heartbreaks? I did not sing one word on the record that I could not incorporate into some experience in my life. Whether it be current or past, every single song that I recorded is about me. It’s a peek into my life, past and present. Maybe it’s coming from my theater and performance background, but nothing felt right unless I could relate to it. I think it comes from being an actor, too. It had to be real for me. And not every song is about a current relationship or a current moment – I have songs on the album that I wrote about past relationships and past memories – but they all mean something to me.

Some of your closest relationships are with gay men. You work with Chris Colfer and Ryan Murphy on Glee, and Jonathan Groff, who's also starred on Glee, is one of your best friends. What is it about gay men?

Glee

New Year's Eve

I don’t see anyone as being different than anyone else, whether you’re gay or straight or whatever – everyone’s the same. That’s how I was raised. I lived in New York my entire life. I worked in theater and I was exposed to tons of different types of people, and from a very young age there was never anything that was black and white for me. Everyone was always accepted and always around me ever since I was a little girl. I’ve just been really blessed to have great people in my life, and among them just happen to be people like Jonathan and Ryan – but not because they’re gay; just because they’re amazing people.

What does the support of the gay community mean to you? It means so much. I was working for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS ever since I was a little girl. I’ve always been in theater, and so the gay community – that was my world. That’s where I come from, and so it just feels like a part of who I am. To be where I am right now, and to still have that support and to still have that safety net, it really just means a lot to me.

Jonathan said he wants to get you on his HBO show Looking. Would you be up for it? Oh my god! First of all, I went to San Francisco when they were filming the

Glee: The 3D Concert Movie

show and I ate dinner with all the guys and with Andrew (Haigh), their director, and before anything I said to them, “You guys, let’s get me on the show,” and then I watched the entire series because Jonathan gave me all the episodes.

Right – he said you watched it with your mother. Well, first I watched them with Jonathan when we went on vacation and then I watched them with my mom. And she’s so obsessed, it’s crazy! Once I saw the entire series, I emailed Andrew Haigh and I was like, “Look, I loved it before, but I love it even more now. You gotta get me on the show. I’ll do anything. Anything you want me to play, even if I’m in the background, I’ll do it.”

Can we get you on there as a lesbian? One-hundred percent!

What kind of lesbian would you be? I mean, I just wanna get to work with Jonathan. I love Jon. I feel like everything that we’ve gotten to do together, whether it was Spring Awakening or working on Glee together, I just love working with him. Every time we get to play different characters together it’s so fun, so I’ll do anything that they want.

Louder

2009 2011 2014

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Since the beginning, Glee has been such a friend to the gay community. How does it feel being part of a show that’s so bold in how it addresses issues regarding the gay community?

Listen to Lea Michele on this month’s Spotify Playlist! Visit Living Out online today!

What I’ve always loved about Glee the most is that while we’re making people laugh – and while we’re singing and entertaining people – we are delivering a very important message and opening up people’s minds, even though they might not know it’s happening. I get letters from fans, parents and kids. Glee has really helped a lot of people, and I’m not just saying that. It really has. I’m so honored to be a part of a show that has made a big movement not only for the gay community but also for kids who just love music and have a passion for doing that. It’s opened so many doors for girls and boys that don’t look like everybody else – to make them feel beautiful in their skin no matter what they look like or where they’re from. There are so many aspects of the show that have been really amazing, and I’ll forever be grateful to have been a part of Glee.

I really believe the significance it’s had in the gay community will be part of its legacy. I agree.

Cory, who played Finn, really had a big part in that – he became one of the show’s biggest allies. How do you reflect on him as an ally to the gay community? Look at the relationship between Finn and Kurt – how it grew over time, that they became brothers. There’s a really interesting episode where Kurt and Finn move in together, and (Kurt) decorates the room and Finn says the “f” word (“faggy”). Kurt’s father defends him and really kind of puts Finn in his place and, for me, that was such a pivotal episode for the show and just their relationship alone. One of my favorite episodes of Glee was “Preggers” – our fourth episode – and it’s where Kurt joins the football team. The way he gets on the team is by doing the “Single Ladies” dance, and he ends up

kicking the winning football goal – it’s such a great episode. There are lots of relationships throughout Glee that have been really big turning points, and it just makes me even more proud to have been involved in the show.

How much pressure did you put on yourself knowing that you’d be slipping into Judy Garland’s ruby slippers to voice Dorothy in the upcoming animated film Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return? Honestly, to get to be Dorothy is so cool. I didn’t go a day in my childhood without watching The Wizard of Oz. I watched The Wizard of Oz in my house so much that my mother had to hide the videotape at one point. I wore my ruby slippers, and I have this crazy Christmas video of me where every year for 10 years I’m still wearing my ruby slippers because I thought I was Dorothy.

What’s your favorite chapter in your upcoming memoir, Brunette Ambition? Oh my god, well, the book comes out in May and I’m really proud of it. It’s a really crazy story of how I went from Broadway to being on this television show, and how I was told so much throughout my life that I wasn’t pretty enough and I wouldn’t make it to television – all of these people telling

me what I could and couldn’t be. It’s about how I really overcame that and gave a big middle finger to those people and made my way to Los Angeles onto a television show. The book really is about harnessing your tenacity, your drive and your ambition and getting to where you wanna be despite what people say you can or can’t accomplish. Also mixed in there are really fun chapters on beauty, health and fitness. I love it. I think it’s a fun book. I have some copies in my office and my girlfriends

will pick it up and they’ll be like, “When can I get a copy of the book? I want to make your pizza!” because there’s recipes in it. I’m really proud of it and I think, whether or not you’re a Lea Michele fan, people can pick up the book and really get something good out of it.

Do you give everyone who calls you a diva the finger too? Oh no. I applaud them when they call me a diva!

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com. 16

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out and about i-music

by gregg shapiro

DIVAS BY THE DOZEN When you think of a music diva, who pops into your head? Mariah Carey? Aretha Franklin? Madonna? Cher? Today’s divas might not be who you think they are. Here are some of the best modern divas out there today. Blue-eyed soul diva ZZ Ward is in possession of some powerful pipes. Coming closest to being Adele’s biggest stateside threat, Ward is the complete package. Not only did she write (or co-write) all 13 tunes on her debut disc, Til The Casket Drops (Hollywood), but Ward also sings the heck out of them. The title cut sets the mood, but it’s the thumping second number “Put The Gun Down” that blows the lid off the party. What’s important here is that Ward doesn’t come off as just another Adele adherent; she demonstrates that she has her own perspective. This comes through clearly on “Cryin Wolf” (which features Kendrick Lamar), the retro ring of “Save My Life,” the acoustic “Last Love Song,” the stomp and shake of “Move Like U Stole It,” and the golden blues of “Charlie Ain’t Home.”

Sing To The Moon (Columbia) by Laura Mvula is one of those debut albums that announces the arrival of a major talent. Moon rises on the strength of Mvula’s marvelous voice, which can be soothing one moment and stirring the next (sometimes in the same song, as in the case of “Like The Morning Dew”). Mvula raises the roof on hand-clapping/foot-stomping gospel of “Green Garden” and then lulls us with comforting “Can’t Live Without the World.” And so it goes with the retro rhythms of “That’s Alright,” which is followed by the gorgeous “She” and “I Don’t Know What The Weather Will Be.” “Diamonds” brings the disc to a shimmering close. Dedicated to the memory of her late father, Patty Griffin offers a cathartic new collection, American Kid (New West), a heartbreaking song cycle of loss. With a voice that has long been able to reduce even the most stoic among us to tears, Griffin aims for five or more hankies with “Faithful Son,” “Highway Song,” “That Kind of Lonely,” and “Gonna Miss You When You’re Gone.” Griffin respects the listener enough to provide relief on the drinking song “Get Ready Marie” and the raw “Don’t Let Me Die In Florida.” A remarkable achievement, American Kid is a vast improvement on the unfortunate misstep of Downtown Church.

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ZZ Ward

Jessie Ware comes from the tradition of blueeyed British songbirds with ‘80s flair including Lisa Stansfield, Mari Wilson and Annie Lennox. The wisest move she makes on her excellent debut album Devotion (Cherrytree/Interscope) is to avoid treading on Adele or the late Amy Winehouse. Instead, Ware pays her respects to those who preceded her while putting her own unique spin on the sound. “If You’re Never Gonna Move,” “Running,” “Wildest Moments,” and “Something Inside” best illustrate Ware’s mad skills as a performer and songwriter. The dance-oriented “Imagine It Was Us” definitely qualifies as a bonus track. Neon goth goddess Charli XCX co-wrote Icona Pop’s inescapable hit single “I Love It,” but don’t hold that against her. She saved the good stuff for her own debut album, True Romance (IAMSOUND/Atlantic). “Nuclear Seasons” recalls Shona Laing (remember her?), “You (Ha Ha Ha)” incorporates a giddy Gold Panda sample and “Take My Hand” gives Ke$ha a run for her money. Charli XCX gets emotional on “Set Me Free” and it suits her. “So Far Away” goes the distance and “What I Like” is a tasty tease. She waits until the thorny “Black Roses” to strut her dance-floor stuff. This is not Courtney Jaye’s first time at the music rodeo. In the earlier part of the century, Jaye released an album on Island and had a minor hit with the song “Can’t Behave.” Her

Jessie Ware

latest disc, Love and Forgiveness (courtneyjaye. com) references the pop sound of the 1970s but adds a twist of twang (listen to “Summer Rain”) for good measure. Jaye’s voice is the selling point here, powerful and pretty, it propels tunes such as “Morning,” “Every Time We Say Goodbye,” and “Stars and Skies” to wondrous heights. As the title I Thought About You: A Tribute to Chet Baker (Concord) implies, Brazilian jazz pianist and vocalist Eliane Elias pays homage to the one and only trumpeter and singer, Chet Baker. Snappy and jazzy as you’d expect a set of tunes linked to Baker to be, Elias is nothing if not reverent. The pleasure of the disc is in the nuances Elias uncovers in her interpretations as well as hearing these standards with a subtle Brazilian accent.

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Author review

by gregg shapiro

Mysterious Ways An Interview with Gay Writer Mark Zubro

humanizing the sleuth was key; that the story is paramount; and that a clever twist at the end is always a plus.

Is there one science fiction writer that you would cite as the greatest influence on your work? Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Trilogy is still my favorite science fiction epic. It’s just brilliant in its sweep and imaginative constructs.

Do you have an all-time favorite author, regardless of genre?

February 2014 marked the 25th anniversary of the publication of popular and prolific mystery writer Mark Zubro’s award-winning first novel, A Simple Suburban Murder. Since that time, he has authored more than two-dozen books. While Zubro mainly works in the mystery genre, he has recently expanded his repertoire to include science fiction with the 2013 publication of Alien Quest, the first in a new series, a book he describes as “twenty-three years in the making.” Zubro’s Pawn of Satan, one of his Paul Turner mysteries, has been named as a finalist in the “Gay Mystery” category for the prestigious Lambda Literary Award (to be presented in New York City in June 2014).

As a writer specializing in the fiction genre, such as mystery and science fiction, I was wondering if you also read popular fiction for your own enjoyment? I read huge numbers of mysteries and alternate those with an eclectic mix, but especially history, most notably about the American Civil War and the French Revolution.

The most influential mystery writer is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle with the Sherlock Holmes mysteries. His work taught me several important things: the absolutely vital notion that the sleuth involved must follow the logic of the evidence; that

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LIVING OUT

If there were movie versions made of your books, who would you like to see as Tom and Scott? I think Chris Hemsworth as Tom and Brad Pitt as Scott.

Who would you like to see as Paul? Ryan Gosling or Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Do you have any advice for would-be gay mystery writers? 1. Read – a lot – gay and lesbian mysteries, non-gay and lesbian mysteries, and a huge mix of fiction and nonfiction. Then read some more. 2. Write – keep writing consistently. Then write some more. 3. Don’t give up. It’s one of the most discouraging professions in terms of sitting by oneself and slaving away and getting little feedback, and with few realistic notions that you’ll ever make a living from all that work.

You have two ongoing mystery series – those featuring Tom Mason and Scott Carpenter and those involving Paul Turner. How do you decide which mysteries are a better fit for Tom and Scott versus Paul? The Tom Mason ones are the trickiest. They’re in the “amateur sleuth” sub genre of mysteries. The problem for them is always what I call the “Jessica Fletcher” syndrome. In all reality, if the police didn’t show Jessica the door, the “too interested” person is always high on the suspect list. So, the key is figuring a way to get Tom and Scott involved without the story turning into a cliché or becoming unrealistic. They have to have some personal connection to the case or some plausible reason so they have some motivation for getting involved. The Paul Turner books are easier in the

'Read...Write... Don't Give Up.'

Is there one mystery writer that you would cite as the greatest influence on your work?

J.R.R. Tolkien. I used to read The Hobbit and the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy at least once a year. Now it’s every two or three years. It’s just a masterful work of world creation and a triumph of imagination.

sense that since he’s a police detective, he has a logical reason to be involved built in.

Above are the movie stars Mark envisions playing his characters if his books are ever made into movies.

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©2012. Prudential, the Prudential logo, the Rock symbol and Bring Your Challenges are service marks of Prudential Financial, Inc. and its related entities. The Prudential Insurance Company of America, Newark, NJ and its affiliates are Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employers and are committed to diversity in its workforce. Prudential is an Employer that participates in E-Verify. 0213194-00005-00 Ed. 1/2013 LIVING OUT

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show your pride

calendar of events SAGE-LI Comedy Improv Tuesday, April 8th, 1-2 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

SAGE-LI Spring Dance Saturday, April 12th, 6 p.m.-10 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Improvisation is a form of theater where most or all of what is performed is created at the moment it is performed. Improv is a state of being and creating action without pre-planning. Learn more about improv , take part in SAGE-LI’s very own improvisation group and see what you learn about yourself. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Spring is finally upon us! We are kicking off the warm weather with the SAGE-LI Spring Dance. All are invited - bring your friends, family, and loved ones. There will be dinner and dancing! Admission is $10. RSVP and payment are required by Tuesday, April 8th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Men4Action Thursday, April 10th, 6 p.m.- 7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Men for Action is a group of dedicated gay and bi men who work to organize events and activities on Long Island to promote safer sex and encourage HIV testing through bar outreach and direct contact with the community. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

OUTlet: Night of Noise Friday, April 11th, 6 p.m.-10 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

The Aleph Project’s Third Annual GLBT Community Passover Seder Thursday, April 17th, 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore All are welcome to attend, but space is limited, so reserve your spot today! This event is free for youth with a suggested donation of $18 for adults. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

LI GLBT Network’s 2nd Annual Volunteer Recognition Event Thursday, April 24th, 7 p.m.-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Pride Volunteer Orientation Tuesday, April 29th, 8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Alcoholics Anonymous Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Help the Long Island GLBT Services Network make this year’s Long Island Pride Parade and Festival even better than the last by becoming a volunteer! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Brother2Brother 3rd and 4th Fridays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, SAGE-LI Restaurant OUTing: 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Hunan Taste Suite 110, Woodbury Tuesday, April 29th, 12 p.m. Social and discussion group for gay and 3 Northern Boulevard bisexual men of color age 21+. Greenvale, NY 11548 www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

An open discussion group for Join us for a delicious lunch at Hunan transgender people and their friends Taste, where you can enjoy a variety of Co-Dependents and family. Asian food ranging from $6 to $13. After Anonymous www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 the meal join us for a tour at the Nassau Thursdays, 7-8 p.m. County Museum of Art. For menu details, Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, Living PositHIVly visit www.hunantasterestaurant.com. 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 2nd and 4thThursdays, RSVP required by Monday, April 28th. For those who desire a healthy and loving 7-8:30 p.m. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 relationship free of co-dependency. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 20 Crossways Park Dr. North,

SAGE-LI OUTdoors Trip: Nassau County Museum of Art (NCMA) Tuesday, April 29th, 2 p.m. One Museum Drive, Roslyn

NCMA has a number of exhibits including “Garden Party,” a display of Springtime art from Chagall, Hockney, Mapplethorpe, O’Keefe and many more Join Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth artists. The other exhibit on display is (LIGALY) and over 100 youth in a Night This event is open to everyone, whether called “AftermodernisM,” which spans of Noise after the Day of Silence. Help you have volunteered with The Network styles from non-objective abstraction us break down the Wall of Hate, and before or are looking to volunteer in the through sharp focused realism. The tour celebrate love at a block party for gay, future. Family and friends are welcome to begins at 2pm so please arrive a few lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth attend as well. Come enjoy the food and minutes early. Admission is $8. RSVP is and their allies. Complete with live music, celebrate the great work the volunteers required by Monday, April 28th. dancing, games, entertainment,free do for The Network. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.7874 food and more, Admission is $2. Free www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 van service available if reserved in Book Club advance. SAGE-LI Meet & Greet: Tuesday, April 29th, 8 p.m. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 Paul Novello Nassau: Center at Woodbury,

LIGALY’s Got Big Talent (LGBT) Auditions Fridays, April 11th, April 18th, & April 25th, 6 p.m.-10 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Friday, April 25th, 6pm-8 pm East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

Author of the inspirational novel, “Unshattered Dreams.” The book deals with having a difficult childhood facing LIGALY is seeking talented youth to those challenges and trying to live a perform for exciting prizes at its annual happy and successful life. Paul says that talent competition. There are talented we face these issues because we may still youth across Long Island who do not get be struggling with the aftermath of what the chance to show off their skills. L.G.B.T we have endured. Imagine what our life is a great opportunity for students to gain would be like if we could break free, so valuable performance experience in front that we can fulfill our heart’s desires. This of a live audience and be recognized book guides us on a journey that will for their exceptional talents. Plus, there inspire us to transcend our troubled pasts. are CASH PRIZES for the competition’s www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950 winners! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 Senior Focus Group

Have an event you want listed here? E-mail: editor@ livingoutli.org 20

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LIVING OUT

Monday, April 28th,1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Come join our coed, peer-led, issuefocused discussion group. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Save the date! Equality Awards Gala Friday, May 2nd 6:30pm Carlyle on the Green at Bethpage State Park Farmingdale, NY

LITE Social and Discussion Group 1st/3rd Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st and 3rd Fridays, 6:30-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing: Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st Friday of the month, 4-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Discussion and support group for GLBT people in their 20’s. A safe and affirming space to share their experiences. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Advisory Board (SAGE-LI) Monday, April 7th 1p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Tuesday, April 8th, 1p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Share your thoughts and ideas for SAGE-LI programming. www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

AlAnon Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

A support group for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Monday Mingle Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Bay Shore. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Nassau County Mingle Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Hampton Bays Mingle SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 2nd and 4th Thursdays, 50+ at The Center at Garden City. 3-5 p.m. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011 Hampton Bays Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., OUTlet Hampton Bays Fridays, 8 p.m.-Midnight SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for GLBT Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, seniors 50+ on the East End. 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Join us for this month’s discussion as well as bringing your ideas for future books to share with the group. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011 www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

20 Something 3rd and 4th Fridays, 7:30-9 p.m Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Suite 110, Woodbury

LIFE in Nassau 2nd Thursday, 7-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury LIFE in Nassau meets every second Thursday. Open to adults of all genders and orientations with an interest in BDSM topics.

LIGALY Advisory Board Mondays, 5-7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Bowl Long Island, 138 West Rd., Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League. LIPSAbowling@optonline.net, 516.375.9473

Friday night social program for GLBT youth and their friends ages 13-21. $2 admission, transportation available. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Parent Support Group 1st/3rd Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Discussion group for parents of GLBT children. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Sag Harbor Mingle 1st and 3rd Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor The Hamptons GLBT Center is officially open and SAGE-LI is bringing a Mingle to Sag Harbor! Bring your friends and come meet new ones. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

SAGE-LI Women at Nassau (SWAN) Wednesdays, 7:30-8:45 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

TRUE Calling Tuesdays, 6-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for black and Latino gay and bisexual youth and their friends to show off their skills! Sing, act, dance, or perform. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Women 2 Women Tuesdays, 7:15-8:45 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore W2W is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space for lesbians age 40+.

You Gotta Believe Mondays, 6-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore The Long Island GLBT Community Center has partnered with You Gotta Believe, a non-profit organization that places teenagers into permanent adoptive homes, to provide Adoptive Parent Preparation Classes! If you are interested in participating, please call 631.665.2300. www.liglbtnetwork.org

Youth Group Tuesdays, 5-6 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor All East End youth should come check out this new hot GLBT spot. Every Tuesday is a fun interactive youth group: hang out with others in the lounge. You won’t want to miss it! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

PEP Team – Suffolk Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay VITA Free Tax Preparation Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Tuesdays, 4-7 p.m. Interactive leadership program Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, promoting sexual health for GLBT young 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore people. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Safe Schools Team Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Free tax form preparation. The last day for the VITA Free Tax Preparation is April 8th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

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be scene 19th Annual GLBT conference Monday, March 10th at stony brook university This year’s all-day conference, hosted by The Network, brought together over 400 students, educators, and professionals from dozens of L.I. school districts to participate in more than 21 workshops.

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living healthy parenting

ask

by Chris mcnamee

And Baby Makes a Family:

Baby-Making Options for Gay Couples & Single Adults Before the start of the so-called gay baby boom 20 years ago, most gay parents had either conceived their children during prior heterosexual relationships, or adopted as single parents. Others became foster parents or co-parented a partner’s child, but did so without any legal protection

or recognition. When I was considering parenthood, none of these options felt right for me. So, wanting to experience childbirth but not to involve a male friend in the conception, I embarked on a two-year journey through the world of fertility clinics and sperm banks.

The Struggle

I was shocked to find out that many fertility doctors and cryobanks would not accept single women or gay couples as clients or patients. I was required to sit for interviews and undergo psychological testing to prove my fitness for parenthood before I would be seen by the few practices that did welcome singles or gays. Eventually, I was approved and became a mother to two daughters, now 21 and 13. Happily, today’s potential mommies and daddies face less scrutiny and have many more choices available to them.

Chris

Dear Chris, I’m a divorced mom who shares custody of my 6-year-old daughter with my ex-husband. I am now in a very loving relationship with a woman and find myself sometimes wondering how affectionate we should act towards one another in front of my daughter. Is it okay to give one another a small kiss or cuddle together watching TV? She’s young, so I just want to be careful about what she sees and hears at this age. –Help Me in Huntington Dear Help Me in Huntington, When a newly divorced parent re-enters the dating world, children can view the parent’s new partner as an unwelcome replacement for the former spouse, regardless of the new person’s gender or his or her role in the break-up. Feelings of jealousy and resentment about the new partner coming between the parent and child can come into play as a parent begins to date. Children may experience feelings of guilt for enjoying the company of a parent’s new love interest, worrying that this is a betrayal of the other parent. Pay special attention to your daughter’s moods and reactions during this time. Be sure to allow her adequate time to adjust to your new relationship, particularly if this is her first introduction to the idea that you are gay. Limiting your displays of affection for a while is a good idea, and relaxing those limitations over time will happen naturally as the relationship progresses.

Your Options

Options for women seeking biological motherhood now include various fertility treatments, starting with the most common, alternative insemination using donor sperm. More advanced techniques can include In-Vitro Fertilization, where a woman’s eggs are removed from her body and mixed with sperm in a petri dish, with the resulting embryos either reintroduced into her womb, or the womb of another woman, or frozen for later use. This method can be used so a surrogate mother can carry a biological child for a gay man or male couple. Many fertility practices in the New York Metropolitan area now happily welcome gay couples and unmarried adults. Many such practices even market directly to the gay community, and several law firms specialize in co-parenting agreements, second-parent adoptions, and other services not generally sought by heterosexuals. Unfortunately, the legal system in some states has not kept pace with medical advancements in fertility.

More Problems

Gay parents would be welladvised to make sure that legal protections are in place prior to conception in order to avoid some potentially disasterous complications. Several years ago, a court in Kentucky denied a surrogate mother’s request to terminate her rights to the children she bore for a gay male couple, ruling that it was not in the best interests of a child to have two fathers and no mother. The state of Kansas recently sued a man for child support after the mother of a child conceived using his sperm started collecting welfare benefits. This time, the court decided

that a father cannot sign away his obligation to support his child, regardless of the fact that he was a paid sperm donor. In a case in New York, a woman who carried her partner’s embryo moved out of state with the child, denying her partner any parental rights. Because the women did not have a surrogacy agreement, the child was considered the legal offspring of the birth mother, forcing the ex-partner to sue for visitation. Complications such as these, although rare, can be avoided by working with both a reputable fertility practice and a good lawyer.

about the author: Chris mcnamee has a b.S. in Family Services/Child Studies, a M.A. in Intersex Conditions and Gender Identity Disorders in Children and Adolescents and is the Former owner/operator of Kid ‘n Kaboodle Child Care as well as the Former Coordinator for Long Island Family Connections, Gay Parents Support Network.

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living healthy

wellness

Simple precautions for common spring injuries & illnesses After a long winter that kept most of us indoors, the onset of spring beckons us to enjoy the warmer weather and plan for the summer months ahead. This time of the year, many patients come to my office with injuries or illnesses that could have been prevented by simple precautions. Here are a few common questions I’ve been hearing over the past couple of weeks.

by dr. bill blazey I went for my first spring run of the year and now my knees hurt really badly when going up and down stairs — what should I have done differently? It may be a condition called patellar tendonitis, also more commonly referred to as “runner’s knee.” This often happens when a person runs or exercises without proper warm up or stretching — especially after a long period of rest, such as the long winter months. Microscopic tears in the tendons of the knee joint can occur and cause pain. After seeing a doctor to make sure this is the cause, a period of rest followed by physical therapy will often prevent you from needing a surgical treatment. It’s so important to slowly increase your activity after a long rest period like this winter to avoid injury.

I’ve been coughing, sneezing, and been generally under the weather for the past few days, should I see a doctor for an antibiotic? This time of year, allergies are one of the most common problems we see in the office. Pollen from the trees and flowers, along with mold

spores, activate our immune systems and cause these symptoms. Instead of an antibiotic to fix this problem, antihistamines are useful to decrease symptoms and prevent future illness. Purchasing a HEPA-filter based air purification system will help clean the air in your home. Avoid leaving the windows open in the evening and early morning, which will decrease pollen from getting into your bedroom. See your doctor if you have a fever or no improvement with over-the-counter antihistamines.

Long Island has a lot of reports of Lyme disease, what can I do as a prevention from becoming sick? While it’s true that LI has a large amount of Lyme disease, it’s still fairly rare to see in the office. If you go hiking in the nature preserves or along the sand dunes, it’s a good idea to wear light colored clothing that covers your arms and legs to avoid letting deer ticks from biting you. After a hike, check your whole body for ticks and, if found, make sure to remove them completely (your doctor can send the ticks to the lab for testing). Lyme disease commonly causes a rash, joint pain and fatigue, so preventing it or treating it early is important. Being physically active is one of the most important things you can do to live healthy and well. Before starting any new activity or physical training program, talk with your health care provider to ensure that you can do it safely.

about the author: William R. Blazey, D.O. is an assistant professor of Family Medicine at NYIT’s College of Osteopathic Medicine

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living smart Beauty

by Diana Rusinak-Acevedo

Bye Bye Winter Blues, Hello Spring! The winter weather can not only can wreak havoc on your skin, but on your hair and scalp as well. According to Diana Rusinak-Acevedo, owner of Salon Per Lea in Bethpage, many people forget that the scalp is also skin, and a rough, cold winter can really dry it out and take its toll on both hair and scalp. Here are a few tips to put that bounce and glisten back into your tresses, and even give your look a boost just in time for spring. NEVER GO OUT WITH A WET HEAD This has the same affect as licking your lips in the winter — you’ll end up with a chapped mess! On our scalp, this becomes dandruff. Using a round brush and a hair dryer on low heat will help to keep your hair from getting frizzy. Blow dry until almost dry then let your hair dry naturally for the best results.

MOISTURIZE Hair and scalp need a little extra moisture, just like your hands, after exposure to a long, brutal winter. Go ahead and splurge on a good, deep conditioner or maybe ask your stylist for an Awapuhi Keratin conditioning treatment by Paul Mitchell. It will leave your hair feeling like new again!

TRY OUT A NEW CUT OR COLOR Once your hair has its moisture back, you might want to try out a new cut or add some color. Some Ombre hair colors would do the trick. Ombre colors are done towards the end of the hair shaft which is great for two reasons. First, you can simply cut off the high ends once you’ve had enough. Second, because the roots are not involved, it requires much less maintenance.

GO WILD If you’re really feeling daring, dip into your favorite rainbow color highlights, which are the latest rage. But it’s highly recommended to get them put in with colored extensions, This reduces stress to the hair and allows the color to be hidden while in the workplace. Then, you can let the bright colors pop out at night and on the weekend! 26

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living smart Travel

by Joey Amato

Out Destination: Nashville Creative, diverse, friendly and with your partner through welcoming are words often used Cheekwood’s beautifully to describe Nashville. It has long manicured gardens. been a destination rich in culture, (RIGHT) music and food and is quickly COUNTRY MUSIC becoming one of the premier HALL OF FAME; (FAR RIGHT) GLBT destinations in the country. DOWNTOWN As the largest city in Tennessee, NASHVILLE (BELOW) Nashville is home to dozens of GRAND OLE OPRY arts organizations, historical (BELOW, RIGHT) landmarks, restaurants and PARTHENON IN CENTENNIAL entertainment venues.

addition, GQ Magazine recently voted The Catbird Seat, one of the best new restaurants in America. Don’t forget to visit Suzy Wong’s House of Yum located on Church Street, near one of hippest gay bars, Tribe.

PARK

Nashville is also the headquarters of the state’s largest HIV/AIDS organization, Nashville CARES, numerous gay sports leagues, the Nashville GLBT Chamber of Commerce and the Oasis Center, an organization designed to support and educate GLBT youth. While in Nashville be sure to visit some of the city’s premier GLBT-friendly cultural attractions, most notably the Schermerhorn Symphony Center, Frist Center for the Visual Arts and Tennessee State Museum. History buffs should head straight to the Parthenon in Centennial Park. This exact replica of the Athens original also houses a 42foot tall statue of goddess Athena, the tallest indoor statue in the Western Hemisphere. Another GLBT–friendly highlight is the glorious Cheekwood Botanical Gardens & Museum, a 55-acre botanical garden and art museum located on the historic Cheek estate. Enjoy a brisk Nashville morning strolling

has hosted musicians from Chris Isaak and James Brown to Patsy Cline and Bruce Springsteen. A vacation to Nashville would not be complete without a visit to the Grand Ole Opry, country music’s longest-running show. It brings together an incredible mix of talent to a live audience three times per week. Superstars including Vince Gill, Keith Urban, and Reba McEntire as well as new acts such as The Band Perry and Luke Bryan have all graced the Opry stage.

Those yearning for music history should head to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum located in the heart of downtown Nashville. The facility has almost completed a multi-million dollar expansion and features more than 40,000-square-feet of country music artifacts and archives in addition to a full service restaurant. Just a short walk away is the famous Ryman Auditorium. Referred to as the “Mother Church of Country Music,” the Ryman is a National Historic Landmark and

Touring the city is sure to make you hungry and luckily there are new culinary hotspots popping up everywhere in Nashville. Favorites among gay locals include Virago, Kayne Prime, Watermark and City House, owned by James Beard awardwinning chef Tandy Wilson. In

In recent years, Church Street has become Nashville’s gay mecca. In addition to Tribe and Suzy Wong’s, the street is also home to Play Dance Bar, Canvas and Blue Gene’s as well as Out Central, Nashville’s GLBT community center. Venture south to enjoy two friendly neighborhood bars: Stirrup and Trax. Take the bridge from downtown to the neighborhood of East Nashville which has been known as “the gayborhood” and offers tons of dining and nightlife venues to fit every taste. Two of the most popular GLBT destinations are Lipstick Lounge and Mad Donna’s, the best place in town to play a game of drag bingo while dining on wonderful cuisine, while Lipstick Lounge offers karaoke and live entertainment throughout the week and is a favorite among the ladies. Nashville is truly a magical place that everyone needs to see for themselves. So put on your favorite pair of cowboy boots and head on down to Music City USA. For more information, go to www.visitmusiccity.com

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WARNING! Before cleaning any device unplug it or turn it off. TECH TALK WITH ALEXIS CAPITINI

Spring Clean Your Gadgets During this time of year it is not uncommon for families to spring clean their homes after the long and cold winter, but do you ever stop and think about cleaning your gadgets? Of course there are the smudges and crumbs you can see in addition to the bacterium that you can’t. Your phone tends to have 10 times the bacteria than a toilet seat. Say it with me, Yuck! The handful of simple products you need to clean you devices are microfiber cloths, Q-tips, distilled water, isopropyl alcohol, and dish soap and lets get cleaning!

living smart

Smartphone/Tablet

Desktop Computer

If your phone/tablet doesn’t have a screen protector take extra care while cleaning since it might have a fingerprint-resistant coating that could come off. Use a little distilled water on a microfiber cloth to wipe down the phone and Q-tips to clean around small crevices.

While your computer monitor looks like a window, it’s not, so Windex is not recommended. Instead, use a microfiber cloth dampened with distilled water or an LCD display cleaner. As for the plastic parts around it, you can use a window cleaner or just plain water. The same goes for the tower, if you have one.

If your device does have a screen protector, pour one part alcohol and one part water into a spray bottle then spray your phone lightly and wipe with the microfiber cloth.

Show your keyboard some love by shaking it out and using compressed air duster to get out all of the crumbs. Wipe a damp cloth over the keys and use a Q-tip to get inside the crevices. If your keyboard is extra dirty, use a solution of one part water and one part isopropyl alcohol instead of plain water. Use that same solution to wipe down you mouse.

Keep a produc t like Wireless Wipes ($3) handy to keep it clean on a regular basis.

Laptop Start off cleaning your laptop turn it upside down and gently shake out any dirt and crumbs hiding in your keyboard. If you want to take this one step further, grab a can of compressed air duster ($5) and blast it (follow directions on the can for proper use). Make sure your laptop is unplugged, then dampen a microfiber cloth and wipe down all of the plastic and metal surfaces. Clean your screen with Belkin LCD Display Cleaner ($8).

Fitness Tracker Fitness trackers are there to get you to sweat but it also gets sweaty with you. Since they are made to withstand moisture, mix some dish soap and water and go over it with the solution on a soft cloth. To finish cleaning use a cloth that is damp with water and it will be good to go.

REcipes

Spring Mix Following one of the most brutal winters Long Islanders have endured in years, here’s looking ahead to the warmer months and the go-to foods we love during the spring and summer seasons. To keep it light, and also tasty, here are a few great salad recipes to help you get creative and go beyond iceberg lettuce and carrots. Feel free to get a little bit artsy and get into the spring mix.

Shrimp Panzanella Salad What You’ll Need • 1/2 cup sherry vinegar • 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil • 1 garlic clove, minced • 1/4 teaspoon salt • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper • 1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined • 6 (1-inch-thick) slices dayold country-style bread 28

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LIVING OUT

The Fabulous Waldorf What You’ll Need Directions

• 1/2 cup chopped, slightly toasted walnuts

Preheat grill to medium-high heat (350 to 400 degrees).

• 1/2 cup celery, thinly sliced

• 1 sweet apple, cored and chopped • 3 Tbsp mayonnaise (or yogurt)

• • 1/2 cup red seedless grapes, sliced (or a • 1/4 cup of raisins) •

1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice

• 8 ounces red cherry tomatoes, halved

Whisk together first five ingredients in a small bowl and toss shrimp with 2 tablespoons of the vinaigrette.

• 8 ounces yellow teardrop tomatoes, halved

Grill shrimp, covered with grill lid, 2 minutes on each side or until pink.

• 1/3 cup pitted kalamata olives, coarsely chopped

Grill bread slices 1 minute on each side or until toasted then cut into 1-inch cubes.

Directions

• 1/4 cup chopped fresh basil

Combine bread, shrimp, tomatoes, olives, and basil in a large bowl; add remaining vinaigrette, and toss well.

In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise (or yogurt) and the lemon juice. Add 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 1/4 teaspoon of fresh ground pepper. Mix in the apple, celery, grapes, and walnuts. Serve on a bed of fresh lettuce.

• Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Season with salt and pepper. Can be refrigerated up to 2 hours before serving.

Salt & Pepper Lettuce

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Socialization/Group Meetings Meetings are open to anyone interested in joining FREE TO BE who are GLBT, questioning and gay-straight alliance. Meetings Include Guest Speakers, Event Planning, Open Discussion, and Social Events Next Meeting Date: March 25, 2014 Time: 4:30pm to 6:00pm Location: FREE, 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 To learn more about FREE TO BE or to become a member, please contact us at freetobe@familyres.org Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 www.familyres.org l 516-870-1637

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living smart

finance

Simple strategies for strong credit Over the past few months, we have covered a few creditrelated topics, such as “the basics,” “pitfalls,” and “perks” of having credit. Now is a great time to pull it all together and end with a look at the only thing that really matters, how to build good credit.

These are simple strategies to follow for strong credit. Of course, there are many other factors, but keeping it simple is sometimes the best route to follow. Hopefully, these articles will make you wiser and more aware of the importance of credit and the role it plays in each of our lives.

Strategy 3 Establish Good History and Keep Unused Accounts One of the factors considered when calculating your credit score is the length of time you’ve had the credit established with each creditor. You’re rewarded for having a positive, long-term history with each creditor. In other words, the longer your positive credit history, the better.

Strategy 1 Pay Your Bills on Time This may seem obvious, but late payments are the most common reasons for negative information that appears on peoples’ credit reports and are often responsible for significant drops in credit scores. When it comes to loans and credit cards, it’s vital that you always make at least the minimum payments each month. Making late payments or defaulting on any loan will also have an impact on your credit and can stay around to haunt you for up to seven years.

If you have a handful of credit cards you never use, instead of closing the accounts, put the credit cards in a safe place and forget about them. Having at most five or six credit card accounts open can be beneficial.

Strategy 5 Correct Inaccuracies in Your Report Every time you apply for a credit card or any type of loan, a potential creditor will make an inquiry with one or more of the credit reporting agencies. If you have multiple inquiries in a short period of time, this can dramatically reduce your credit score. Keep in mind, when shopping for a mortgage or car loan, it’s allowed to have multiple inquiries for the same purpose within a 30- to 45-day period, without those multiple inquiries hurting your credit score. In this situation, the multiple inquiries will be counted as one single inquiry.

The easiest and most straightforward thing you can do to protect your credit report and credit score is simply to pay your bills on time. It’s that easy!

Strategy 2

Strategy 4

Strategy 6

Keep Credit Card Balances Low

Only Apply for Credit When It’s Really Needed

Watch Those Inquiries

Your payment history on those credit card accounts also impacts your score, as does your credit card balances. Having a balance that represents 35 percent or more of your overall available credit limit on each card will hurt you. If you have a $1,000 credit limit on a credit card, then you want to maintain a balance of less than $350. Spreading your credit card debt among several cards might help your credit score.

Only apply for new credit if you absolutely need it. Applying for a retail store card you’re going to use once or twice, when you could just as easily use an existing credit card, might not be the best idea. Applying for and obtaining multiple new credit cards within several-month’s time will be detrimental to your credit score.

One of the fastest and easiest ways to quickly give your credit score a boost is to carefully review all three of your credit reports and correct any erroneous or outdated information that’s listed. If you spot incorrect information, you can initiate a dispute and potentially have it corrected or removed within 10 to 30 days.

For more financial tips, visit our website at www.livingoutli.org 30

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pet tips

by meryl lumba

living smart

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Points of view

by Joanne borden

Op-end

The GENDA Law Will Never Pass Taking The Present Path All the national and local groups have used their political knowhow for many years. I am sure the active lobbyists feel they are making progress, but if progress was made it has been far too little and moved much too slowly. The only progress I see is, for years the opposition, the Republican State Senators, wouldn’t even talk to us about GENDA. At least some of them now talk but use an excuse to not allow a vote on GENDA. Their excuse is the “Bathroom Issue.”

That illustrates some progress. However, year after year the hope for a vote on GENDA has been shifted to the next year. It reminds me of the Brooklyn Dodgers in the “good old days” when “wait ‘till next year” was a common saying.

However, the “Bathroom Issue” has an emotional appeal and is capable of getting the public’s backing. In some cases the public already believes GENDA is about bathrooms. I believe even with a Democrat Senate GENDA will be a difficult bill to pass because emotion usually rules. We need to decisively destroy their “Bathroom Issue” and get its fallacy out in the open and noticed by the public. We need to demonstrate that using chromosomes to determine which bathroom people use would have an undesirable result. Their proposal that people use the bathroom in accordance with their birth assigned sex means that transgender men should use the Ladies’ Room and transgender women use the Men’s Room. We need to do exactly that. Have transgender men use the Ladies’ Room (shaving?) and transgender women use the Men’s Room (fixing make-up?). Such a demonstration will destroy their “Bathroom Issue” and turn it into our issue—the bathroom issue is a reason to vote for GENDA.

Furthermore, the public generally favors equal protection and GENDA is much more than a bathroom. It is about civil rights—equal protection under the law. However, the emotional appeal of preventing men from invading the privacy of the ladies room misleads the public and could get people to subscribe to the “Bathroom Issue” and turn them away from supporting transgender equal rights. Demonstrating that masculine appearing born women using the Ladies’ Room, what is proposed by the GENDA opponents, is the opposite of the emotional appeal now being used as an excuse to prevent GENDA from getting a vote. In addition, transgender people all over the United States will benefit from such an action because the “Bathroom Issue” is used effectively against them as well. We need such a demonstration in Dean Skelos’ district right here

in Nassau County. With the right publicity, which a demonstration is sure to get, additional demonstrations will probably not be required because one alone would get wide newspaper and TV exposure. Waiting ‘till next year’ is fine but next year may not happen in our lifetime. We should try to get it done and get it done now! So, the question is, who will step up and work toward the destruction of the “Bathroom Issue?”

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points of view op-ed

by reverend irene monroe

Nigeria’s GLBT-Cleansing Law When Nigeria’s “yan dandu” (shorthand for “men who act like women” or cross-dressers) population no longer walked freely and publicly in their communities it was a clear and ominous sign to everyone of what was legislatively coming down the pike — a new draconian anti-GLBT law. For more than a century, the “yan dandu” population was an accepted Hausa subculture in the Muslim north. As a Muslim Bori practice the yan dandu’s religious ritual is traditionally practiced and celebrated among its most marginalized populations, like sex workers, and gay, bisexual and transgender men. Since January, however, the group that was surprisingly driven underground is now being unearthed and actively pursued for punishment and persecution by murderous marauding gangs of their fellow Muslim brothers. Earlier this year, on January 7th, Nigeria’s president, Goodluck Jonathan, enthusiastically signed into law the Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Act. Nigeria already had in place harsh laws against its GLBT population, but Jonathan’s recent edict eerily hints of “queer-cleansing” with its violent and systematic eradication of any expressions of GLBT people, their livelihood and culture. The act, which was unanimously passed in Nigeria’s House of Representatives, not only prohibits people from entering into samesex marriages, but the law also prescribes a 14-year jail sentence to go with it. And, if you’re straight and think you’re safe you need to know this: it also prescribes a guilty by association 10-year jail sentence to GLBT friends and allies “who administers, witnesses, abets or aids” any form of gender non-conforming and homosexual activities. The law states, “any person who registers, operates (supports) or participates in gay clubs, societies and organizations directly or indirectly, makes a public show of

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a same-sex amorous relationship commits an offence and shall be liable to a term of 10 years imprisonment.” In a religiously conservative country contentiously split between a predominately Muslim north and Christian south, the passing of the country’s recent federal Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Act seems sadly to be the one thing both warring sides can agree on as a sign of a unified front of both nationalist pride and religious moral unity. While clearly Sharia law in the Muslim north dominates and mandates that sex-gender sexual activity punishment is meted out by the cruel and torturous act of death by stoning, in the Christian south sex-gender sexual activity punishment is meted out not only by draconian laws but also by vigilante mobs wielding nail-studded clubs, iron bars, whips, and wires shouting, “we are working for Jonathan” or we are “cleansing the community.” “The government has given a go-ahead authority to mob jungle justice,” Ifeanyi Orazulike of the International Center for

Advocacy on the Right to Health told the International Times. “This is unacceptable. You can’t attack people violently because of whom they choose to love.” The international community has denounced Nigeria’s recent act and has criticized the country’s democracy. But Nigerian lawmakers have pushed back saying their country’s stance on criminalizing homosexuality is true evidence of a proud and participatory “democracy in action.” And they have the numbers to prove it. According to the Pew Research Center survey conducted in March 2013, 98 percent of the country disapproves of homosexuality. While the international community continues to denounce Nigeria’s recent act, the country’s traditionalists and religious conservatives — both Muslims and Christians — have made it clear they do not like the world’s interference in their business. They continue to contend that homosexuality is anathema to African identity and cultural and family values, and that it’s one of the many ills that white Europeans brought to the Motherland. (A similar homophobic polemic is still argued among religiously conservative African Americans.) But, truth be told, the criminalization of homosexuality in Nigeria and other African countries is a byproduct of European colonialism. Nonetheless, the debate over what’s “authentically African” and what’s a

vestige of Western colonial influence always finds a way to deny the reality of black GLBT existence. And Nigeria is not alone: 36 of 54 countries in the African continent criminalize consensual sexual activity with people of the same gender. Pressure from the international community has strongly expressed withholding developmental aid to Nigeria. But economic sanctions against Nigeria that were successfully used against Malawi and Uganda would only serve as a slap on the wrist because Nigeria is a major oil producer where the U.S. purchases 70 percent of their oil.

“This is unacceptable. You can’t attack people violently because of whom they choose to love.” With Nigeria’s passing of the Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Act murderous marauding homophobic gangs in the Christian south will continue to chase GLBT citizens from their homes leaving their signature message, “Homosexuals, pack and leave!” And in the Muslim north the century-old small and marginalized yan daudu subculture will simply over time become extinct. LIVING OUT

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points of view trans-missions

by gwen smith

Endings.

Meanwhile, Morgan’s show was cancelled in the wake of his Mock meltdown.

This has been quite the year so far for transgender people, and is perhaps most notable for the endings it has brought about.

in February. Morgan referred to Janet Mock as having been a boy, and wanted to spend more time talking about her boyfriend and his feelings about her coming out than about her own experiences as discussed in her book, Redefining Realness.

In January, talk show host Katie Couric interviewed two transgender women, Carmen Carrera and Laverne Cox. The interview went south quickly — quite literally — as Couric questioned Carrera about her body, asking, “your private parts are different now, aren’t they?” While Carrera did a good job of refocusing the discussion, Laverne Cox also faced similar invasive questions.

Mock, on twitter, told Morgan to “Get it the f*ck together,” while Morgan claimed Mock was “scoring cheap points” and called her trans community supporters dimwits.

This is a major turning point. The tactic of talk shows to use us as exploitative fodder did little to revive a failed — and a failing — program.

2014 is shaping up to be the year that transgender people, once considered sideshow freaks, are starting to be seen as human first.

After much outcry, the next day Couric issued a quasi apology, stating that she had left those questions into the interview as a “teachable moment.”

Historically, talk shows have used transgender people as quick and easy ratings fodder, trotting us out to satisfy some salacious interest on behalf of their viewers. This was pioneered by Phil Donahue, and taken to the extreme by long–time daytime hosts Jerry Springer and Maury Povitch.

Meanwhile, talk show host Piers Morgan has been involved in an ongoing and very ugly, very public feud with transgender author Janet Mock after inviting her on his show

So it should come as no surprise that both Couric and Morgan have talk shows in trouble — Couric’s was already axed by the time she invited Carrera and Cox on as guests.

Couple this with the lambasting that Grantland faced after an equally exploitative article on golf club designer Dr. Essay Anne Vanderbilt, and you can see the tide turning on what is considered acceptable presentations of transgender people in the public eye. The world of talk shows and blogs, however, is not the only ending I wish to talk about.

genderinsanity.com, in order to fight the bill, and were ready to start the fight. With their help, a group called Privacy For All Students (PFAS) began to collect signatures for a repeal of the bill. They laced the campaign with lies of all sorts, claiming that the bill would lead to “co-ed” bathrooms statewide, that nontransgender students would use this as an excuse to spy on other students in the restroom, and even twisted the story of a Colorado transgender student to their advantage. Privacy For All Students turned in over 619,000 signatures in its attempt to force a ballot measure, with an additional 5,000 signatures gained in Mono and Tulare counties later included after some debate. Even though the law did take affect on the 1st of January, PJI and PFAS have claimed repeatedly that the law was on hold thanks to their signature gathering. On February 24th, the State of California finished its count, finding that it had only 487,484 valid signatures. It needed 504,760. As such, this attempt to repeal AB 1266 has ended. I believe that the PJI, stinking from the defeat of California’s Proposition 8, thought it could have a quick victory with AB 1266. That they could not collect enough signatures to force this to go to the voters may be even more groundbreaking than the bill itself. This says that the people of California, even with pollsters making outrageous claims, rejected a bill that would have punitively affected transgender people. I cannot stress this enough: 2014 is shaping up to be the year that transgender people, once considered little more than sideshow freaks of talk shows — and not worthy of any sort of legal representation — are starting to be seen as humans first.

In August 2013, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a law, AB 1266, which protected the rights of transgender students across the state, giving them equal access to transgender students statewide. It’s a simple bill, only amending one small section of the education code, but what it does is groundbreaking. Foes of the law made their voices heard almost as soon as it was signed, and none were louder than the Pacific Justice Institute (PJI), a conservative legal defense organization located in Sacramento. They launched a website,

I’m not saying that everything is sunshine and lollipops. The PJI and PFAS can still push a further referendum, let alone try to take this to court. Also, for every Couric or Morgan, there are ten others willing to use transgender people for shock value. Povitch, for one, is still plenty willing to do so. But this is a tipping point, and one where transgender people stand to benefit greatly. We have the ability, at this juncture, to grow, to be accepted, and to no longer be held back like we have. Tomorrow we will, of course, need to continue to fight, and there will be more than enough we shall have to do. Today, though, we can celebrate some important endings, and look forward to a better future.

Gwen Smith is glad that not only good things come to an end. You can find her at www.gwensmith.com

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