OPINION
PAGE A20 THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2013
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The power of holiday traditions
question I love to ask people during the year-end holiday season is “What is your favorite family tradition?” Sometimes people share traditions they enjoy with their current family. Often they recall warm childhood experiences. Every once in a while someone will talk about traditions they carry at work. But it is always interesting and the discussions are always laced with an abundance of joy. Traditions are a wonderful way to help us honor the importance of our great year-end holidays. They can serve as a perpetual reminder of what the holidays are truly about. They can help us focus on the things that are most important. They can help us escape from the rampant commercialism that can take us away from the most important things in life. They can help us learn. They can help bring our families closer together and form tighter bonds. They can create wonderful, positive memories. They can help us bring joy to others and to touch the world in meaningful and positive ways. The benefits derived from holiday traditions are almost endless. An obvious one is having a family tradition of finding and setting up the family Christmas tree while sipping holiday hot chocolate and reminiscing over different ornaments in the family collection. Couple this with looking at albums of photos from past holidays while listening to carols on the stereo and wonderful family bonds
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POMERADO NEWSPAPER GROUP
Dick Lyles GET REAL will ensue. When my nephew was 4 he spent Christmas in the cancer ward while being treated for leukemia. Now 18, he and his siblings carry on a tradition they established the following year of taking cards and gifts to all the kids in the cancer ward at Christmastime. The joy they bring and the gratification they receive are incomparable. One of the more interesting traditions I heard about when I was consulting with the Zoological Society of San Diego. One of the board members was retired Marine Gen. Victor Krulak, who served in World War II, Korea and Vietnam. Up until the time he died, he would spend a day every Christmas season baking cookies. Then he took a batch to everyone he knew and worked with. The cookies were his own special recipe and he included a personal note with each package. People were touched by the personal caring this demonstrated. At one of the companies I used to run we set aside 10 percent of the profits each year
as a corporate give-back program. We divided the total amount among the employees and let them choose charities to donate their share to in the employee’s name. They were allowed to split their share among up to three different charities if they wanted. We asked only that the companies be registered nonprofit companies, that they give to a specific need rather than the general fund, and that they get involved with the charities they chose in some way. The year I left we wrote checks to approximately 180 different charities. The results were amazing. Whether or not you embrace a particular faith, don’t miss the opportunity this season brings to establish traditions that generate positive impact and provide deeper personal fulfillment. Some of your traditions should be just for you — like making resolutions for the New Year. Other traditions should include your significant other and still others should include the whole family. Establish traditions at your place of work and in your neighborhood — like the folks on Candy Cane Lane who deck out the entire neighborhood or the couple on Joyas Court who make Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus available to the kids every year. Lyles, a Poway resident, is a business/management consultant and best-selling author. Reader comments, through letters to the editor or online at pomeradonews.com, are encouraged.
Tiki’s last second wind
ven though I now live in Encinitas, I still a frequent several establishments in Poway. When my pets are sick, I make the 26-mile trek to Animal Medical Hospital on Poway Road. Here’s why: Ever since our 13-year-old Lab, Tiki, had been diagnosed with bladder cancer a few months ago, I’d been bargaining with God (I’m not religious, mind you). First, I asked God to allow Tiki to survive until I got back from a trip to Toronto. She survived. Then I asked God to allow her to survive until my oldest son came home from college for fall break. She survived. Most recently, I asked that she be allowed to survive until Christmas when my younger son was due to return home. But as her steady decline quickened its pace, it became clear I’d bargained all my chips away and there would be no Christmas miracle. So I changed tactics and selfishly began praying that she would die peacefully in her sleep so that I wouldn’t have to put her down. But she didn’t die in her sleep. Why would she? Even if her body was no longer working for her, she loved life too much to give up. The time came when we saw the signs that there was precious little life left to wring from her body. My husband and I spread sheets in the back of the car and lifted her onto the seat. We drove to her favorite bridle path off behind Summerfield Estates where we thought we’d take her for a short walk before heading to the vet’s office. However, as soon as she picked up the scent of that old familiar trail, her nostrils flared and she caught her last second wind. We walked nearly a mile, further than she’d walked since 2010 when she blew out her knee chasing a raccoon across our deck. We passed by a corral where we used to stop every day and feed the horses carrots. I clicked my
Amy Roost AU CONTRAIRE tongue and a black-andwhite mare left her feeding trough to come greet us. I had nothing to offer her and figured that as soon as she realized I was empty-handed she’d go back to her supper. Instead, perhaps sensing something, she raised her muzzle over the fence and placed it on my shoulder. Leaning the side of her head against my face, she breathed a warm, soft exhale onto my cheek
“It became clear I’d bargained all my chips away and there would be no Christmas miracle.”
and neck. I surrendered into this beast’s tender embrace of my sorrow. The mare then did something even more unexpected. She raised her head back over to her side of the fence and bent down to where Tiki’s own muzzle was poking through the chain links. She touched her nose to Tiki’s through the fence. Just like God’s finger reaching out for Adam’s, she seemed to communicate, one animal to another, “take this moment, this beauty with you to the other side so that you may remember how good life was.” Several dog-loving friends advised me to arrange for a home euthanasia but unlike other dogs, Tiki never seemed to mind doctors visits. Besides, I’ve been taking my pets to see Dr. Singh since 1997, and he and his staff are extended family to me. We were greeted with a sad smile from the receptionist, and Tiki was escorted to her usual examining room. She stood patiently while the doctor felt her bladder. He confirmed we were doing the right thing. As he and his assistant led Tiki out of the exam room to go place the catheter in her leg, where two injections would end Tiki’s stay on Earth, my husband silently reached over and took my hand. I sat still, attempting a breathing technique I’d learned from years of practicing yoga, hoping it would help me through what was about to go down. Some time later, a few seconds, an hour — who knows? — I heard the doctor mournfully whisper, “That’s it.” With these words, I exhaled, realizing I too had stopped breathing. Roost is executive director of Silver Age Yoga Community Outreach and a freelance book publicist. A former Poway resident, she now lives in Encintas. Reader comments, through letters to the editor or online at pomeradonews.com, are encouraged.
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