Pebblebrook High School Literary Magazine
Spring 2014
Unscripted
“Butterflies in the Stomach” By: Jusu Sirleaf
Literary Magazine Staff Quran Alston
Linque Martin
Isatta Feika
Edward Odameh
Jordan Aker
Orianna Farrow
Demorco Wilkerson Sponsors Lauren Forbes
Rhiannon Sims
Cover by: Erik Ramirez “Skeleton” 2
Table of contents . . . 2 — Butterflies in the Stomach
Jusu Sirleaf
4 — To Whom It Applies
Shantel Pinckney
5 — Osteoporosis
Jordan Aker
5 — Me (Bio Poem)
Oriana Farrow
6 — Surface
Dacia James
7 — The Sleepless Dawn
Quran Alston
7 — A Walk At Dawn
Alma Lopez
8—Turn the T.V. On
Kevin Salado-Marin
8—Coke
Jabari Carter
9—A “Precious” State of Mind
Brittany Williams
10—If
Demour Breen
11—Life is a Maze
Edward Odameh
11—Untitled
Erik Ramirez
12—Where I’m From
Kayla Few
12—Sincerely
Dana Johnson
13—The Ride
Judah Gay
14—Becoming a Woman
Jennifer Uristegui
14—Nayeli and Shysell
Jusu Sirleaf
15—John Green
Thania De La Rosa
15—The Moon Is Calling
Saul Mercado
15—Far From Happiness
Keyanna Grier
16—Heartbroken
Zhana Washington
16—Red Sky
Erik Ramirez
17—The Answer
Thania De La Rosa
17—Untitled
Mika Depofi
17—The Silent Tear
Zhana Washington
18—Untitled
Brycen Nunnally
19—Dreamer
Rosemary Marin
*Title in bright red—Winner of the Junior class Cobb County Writing Fair *Title in dark red—Junior class Changing of the Chairs poem *Titles in blue—finalists in PHS poetry slam competition *Titles in purple—original artwork and photography
*Title in green—finalist for Atlanta Hawks Poetry Slam
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Where I am from, we do not know our dads. Sometimes people may make mistakes. But sometimes mistakes are not always forgiven. This feeling has become so prominent and it is now numb. Apologies do not cover scars; scars of wounds that were never healed from the father that was never present. We complain and accuse society for this lack; but who is it to blame? No one? That is the question we ask... So I simply blame myself – for the father who left when I was only four. You packed your bags, cursed, cried, shouted, you blamed… everyone else but yourself. Time moved on and I got older. Someone of such transcending actions. Someone of such love, passion, care, and stableness. Someone who stayed and chose not to walk away. He took the role that was not intended for him. Why must we pay? Why must we have to deal with the scars? These scars will never be healed. No matter how big I may smile or how happy I may seem… at the end of the day, When I look in the mirror all I see is your face. But when I am out with him, they all say “Wow, the apple sure doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Where were you when she needed you? When were you when she cried, and where were you on that day of the fatherdaughter dance? I cannot be content with these feelings, but yet I hold them in with these questions. All to realize he is not my dad… he is my father… so who are you? No point in our lifetime will this be fair. So of course, we’ll just have to move on and get over it. Leave the open wounds and scars for us to blame on someone else. But remember this, These were the scars of wounds from a father who was never there. This will not apply to everyone, but for those to whom it does apply, Be strong, you are not alone, because this is exactly how I feel. 4
Osteoporosis
Me (Bio Poem)
By: Jordan Aker
By: Oriana Farrow
Everyone is fragile Physically, emotionally Everyone is completely mental Crazy More problems than Ice T and Jay Z Everyone hinds behind a wall Trying to strengthen their Outer shell like chlorine More mask than Maybelline Maybe it's just that We need to drain the Blood and tears from our eyes We all go home and cry Sleep Dream about perfect cells Arise Put on armor Thinking we're the black knight While everyone else swears We're white Then we got the goblins Pointing out your Insecurities Old Nikes, dirty white tees And pokes that don't have 31 IVs Thinking that this barrier's Rough and tough Till we all go splat Like dumpty
Yes, I may be young, but I have learned a lot My life is like a plant developing in a pot I have great sense of humor And no, I do not spread rumors I am a great achiever because I strongly believe in the believer My family has taught me to be a giver, not only a receiver I try my best whatever the case Whether it’s academic or not, everyone knows my face I am always trying something new, Whether I’m bored or just feeling blue I am as sweet as a flower and as tall as a tower I can never rest until I know that I have tried my best. 5
Surface By: Dacia James I am drowning I am drowning I am drowning 60 feet under in a sea full of my salted tears I am waiting to breathe in that fresh air that will save me Can’t you see I’m fighting my way to the top? All I need is a hand to reach down for my outstretch hand and pull But as much as I fight to grab hold of that hand, Sharp pointed needles are holding me down from reaching the top I don’t think I can hold my breath for another second or minute But I have held it for almost eight years Do you even know how it feels to be 60 feet under without a breath? This is not my fault so why am I being blamed I never asked to stay under this long If only I knew the position I would be in, I would not have come here I just want to have oxygen flow and dance its way through my lungs again I can not breathe… Maybe this is a dream, Maybe I just have to close my eyes and count to three Maybe then I’ll wake up and be with my family One…Two…Three I’m still drowning! Mommy I know you’re in Jamaica, but can you come and save me? Deep down I know you can’t You’re just too far away… Maybe I deserve to be 60 feet deep under my salted tears My tongue is what got me here! It’s my cruel vicious tongue that refuses to stop talking and just listen It’s my quick attitude that refuses to adjust its self! It’s the fact that I feel like I have no one but my self at times But I’m still drowning… I’m drowning in a sea full of my salted tears I’m waiting to breathe in that fresh air that will save me 6
The Sleepless Dawn By: Quran Alston I've visited the bottom of the sea, And floated back to stream, I had dream within a dream, About a love, That was never seen, Her eyes full of ancient Egyptian riches, I'm buried into her pyramids, That connect to her mind's eye, I pray that I'm in there, Just a little bit, (Just a little bit)Lips are unpredictable, I can never know what's next, Eyes as her assets, Mind with no access, Blissful as a fast whip, Her words are far more than dangerous, They're full of it, How can I love such a creature, With devil tempting features, But she's so faithful to God She could mold me into a preacher, Jesus, My lord how have I found someone so similar, That I wouldn't want more than a disconnection, I want more than just an erection, Is this what we call a blessing, But I've held her in my arms before, But there was something missing, I miss all of the sensation, For her to be my Mrs., I could feel all of her mistakes, It made me skip into displacement, I hated myself for a second, Then went straight back to the basicsI've visited the bottom of the sea, And floated back to stream, I had dream within a dream, About a love, That was never seen, Her ambition so abroad, That her words were visionary, And I love every bit of information,
That she has ever had for me, But I hate, When I have to wait, Just for a hey, I need attention, Quickly, I am greedy with acknowledgement, And even though I show all flaws, She still agrees with no abolishment, I wonder if she needs me like I need her, Sometimes I highly doubt it, Then my words get rowdy, And my vision gets cloudy, But I'm always brought back to my senses, 5 strikes, Then I'm outta here, But I HAVE swum to the bottom of her sea, And I was swallowed back to shore, I had dream within a dream, About a love, That will probably never soar, And I love her so much, But that word is always tossed around, So I skipped on saying it this morning, And I just laid my head down:
“A Walk at Dawn� By Alma Lopez 7
Coke By: Jabari Carter
Turn the T.V. On By: Kevin Salado-Marin America, the symbol of the free Except for people like me Passing through lines of paper work just to be seen Land of the free and home to the insane Where is your so called bureaucratic membrane Gone and set a flame How can we live for the fat cats When the money’s gone And Your soul has been taken by the corporate con Capitalism, is the name that chaps your lips and steals your last breath feeding the genocide What has it become when the roads are stained and dried with the blood of your brethren War What do we seek with the endless amounts of hypocrisy Happiness What is it we want when the liqueur is gone and the cigarettes are dead Peace A shining Beacon of American hope A moving engine working towards its destination for glory A new coast of glimmering land to be built by those that now over power even their own bounds Let’s keep the ball rolling And the remote controlling Power on the mind And turn the t.v. on
Open a cold bottle of coca cola and look inside. Look inside the failure. Look inside the desperation for freedom. Look inside and take in the smell of expensive independence. Take a sip. Taste the cold fizzle of injustice. Embrace the sick virus of hypocrisy. Take a sip and believe, believe that the man in the suit has what you need. Take a sip and take comfort in the fact that you’ll never be good enough. Swallow it. Swallow the sick feeling that you’re always being watched. Swallow the false sense of bravery and temporary feeling of unity. Swallow it! Swallow what you think you believe and embrace what you’re told to believe. Feel it. Feel the foolery. Feel the weight of 300 years of guilt in the pit of your stomach. Feel that you and everyone you love is subject to future discrimination. Feel it when you settle for less because more is just too hard too hard for you to achieve. Feel it! Digest it Let it settle in your belly. Let it settle in your heart. Let it settle in your mind. You are no different. You are not the exception, you are the rule. Now take another sip of your all too American cold bottle of coca cola And enjoy your small taste of all the things that make this place truly beautiful
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A “Precious” State of Mind By: Brittany Williams
Her words were more painful than the times she would hit me. Not even realizing how every time she would call me a “bitch” that it bit me - like a female pit-bull, as I had to sit there listening to her bull. She never realized how sharp her tongue was from the things she’d say to me. And never realized how her hateful words have stayed with me. I remember the times I would silently cry myself to sleep at night. And how when I’d wake up the next morning and hugged her it would never feel right. Like how could a mother that says she loves you abuse you? That’s like during gym class, when you’re picked last because no one wanted choose you. Rejection and neglect ALWAYS kills, ……………..but ONLY love heals – my scars, But in those moments, all the things I wish I could say to her would my fill throat like tar. I would feel like I’m choking, and some may not understand or feel uncomfortable so they rather play me off like I’m joking. But in my childhood, when she would threaten to punch me and get in my face, I learned to run away in my mind and find a place - to escape. So I learned to be my own hero and used my experiences as my cape. A lot of black people confuse beating their children as “normal” or “healthy”, While never realizing that the emotional price that their children must pay is only for the emotionally wealthy. So I guess you can say I sound like ‘Precious’ or a woman from ‘For Colored Girls’ like the Lady in Red. But luckily I didn’t just find a rainbow, I found Christ through my pain and learned to put Him first instead.
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If By: Demour Breen If you really knew me you would see I smile all the time For no real reason just to kinda pass the time You know slowly doubting and hoping that no one thinks to look at my eyes Windows to the sole that are guarded by lies Jubilance, Laughter a beautiful girl with a beautiful life Oh but if you really knew me you wouldn’t believe those lies It seems to be easier to not go into so much depth Cause then people might actually see what goes on inside my head I don’t want people to know what I wish I could have said The discipline it takes to smile when you wanna cry from the lack of knowledge that everyone else seems to get so fine I really don’t like to wine But when will someone understand my side I feel like I’m across a fine line so far gone that no one can help me drowning in the false hope the everything will get better, get better, get better, get better, but the pillow I lay my head down at night it keeps getting wetter. Mom why won’t you get better? We’ve moved twice this year, and I understood what daddy felt he didn’t have to say that going back to the house would make him too sad to stay. I really don’t think you could understand the pain of packing up your mother’s belongings like she’s already been put in a grave. Sneaking away anything you can to store in your room to keep a memory that’s fading away. The thing that really drives me insane is looking in the mirror everyday and seeing more of you than the previous day. I don’t understand why you went away when I’ve spent half my life trying to make you stay. If you would just go to the doctor they wouldn’t have to take us away. Mom please I feel like I’ve tried everything Just cause your mom and dad don’t try doesn’t mean anything I think their as sick as you, always texting me on holidays, prom, graduation too when they should focusing on helping you. The sick part is they don’t even care they just need the pictures to show off to co- workers and distant fam. I’ve done ok on raising my self but what’s dad gonna do with grey all by him self I really don’t want her to be like me, using other people’s parents to fill the void that she truly needs If you really knew me you would understand that you can’t judge my cover by just looking at it on a stand
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Life is a Maze By: Edward Odameh Life is just one big maze. We're all lost souls in this infinite realm called time. We try to hide it; hey, some people do it well enough to even hide it! The worst thing is seeming lost gets you an enormous amount of criticism. Some people just wants to seem so certain and stable that they must ridicule others so they can feel that way. The relevance of this article corresponds with the current situations of Class of 2014. Some of us aren't even 18 yet, but are about to make some of the most critical decisions in our life. We're about to take out loans, begin preparing for careers, fight for our country, etc. The media and everyone around us keeps saying one decision could make or break us. However, all of that truly lies in our hands. We're only as powerful as we think we are. Additionally, not having life figured out at this point is totally normal. Just as J.R.R Tolkien said: "Not all those who wander are lost." Keep exploring your options! Go to college undecided if you must! I promise you, IT'S OK!! You will most likely not finish where you started. Life's a journey. And besides, aren't surprises always
Untitled By: Erik Ramirez
better anyway?
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Sincerely Where I’m From
By: Dana Johnson
By: Kayla Few
Dear pale plaster wall, You were my best friend because you were above them all.
I am from deep roots,
You were there when I needed somewhere to write.
From humbleness and blessings. I am from the dedication,
You were there when I didn’t have the power in me to fight.
hard working, grinding… It felt like the struggle. I am from the honeysuckles in the first apartment we owned…
You were there from the pointless slashes, And the burning metals
How sweet it was.
because my life is nothing but an endless riddle.
I’m from Nate and Love from Alice and Neiman and Ronny and Sheila.
Dear pale plaster wall,
I am “You can do it if you try,” and
You were the messenger of my faults.
“If it’s dream-able it is accomplishable.”
You were more than just an object that someone with eyes can see.
I am from a small church
You were like a mirror because you reflected every emotion back at me.
on the corner of Whitehall Street. I am from the South-Georgia-Atlanta, Untouched milkshake and more than touched cotton. From the scar on my Great Aunt’s knee because she was running, fighting for a dream and the rough hands of a working man, walking up and down the streets of Atlanta.
Your pale chest caught my tears. You held all my pain and beliefs. You fetched an endless sea to carry my broken dreams. You created this light within. You became the Gabriel Truth in me. We fought off every demon and won.
I am from history’s past and the beginning of a new future.
Dear pale plaster wall, You are the reason why I wrote my first song. 12
The Ride By: Judah Gay, BTP Junior Changing of the Chairs Poem The road has been long, but our moment is here. We have enjoyed the ride, but it’s our turn to steer. We went from walking in lines, to stampeding halls, From learning our manners, to asking “or nah?” From timeouts, to detentions, Or for some of us, suspension. I guess the lesson I’m stressing, It’s our time to grow up. We got places to go, and it’s time to show up. Two more semesters and then we are free, Two months after that, on our own we will be. I know we can’t wait, but in the meantime, Let’s take this time to reflect on the ride. We made lifelong friends and some found true love. We met teachers that gave us a hand like a glove. This has been a long voyage, and yes, I’ve enjoyed it. Though school gives us work and it feels like employment. For all those who doubt us, let’s make them believers, Let us no longer be juniors, and let us be Seniors!
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Becoming a Woman By: Jennifer Uristegui I, with God’s blessing and the love my parents have given me, I am proud to have reached the point in my life When my dreams turn into reality of a woman My Fifteenth, transition from childhood to adulthood. A mass is held where I get God’s blessings, and a party is held. Family and friends come and celebrate this special day with me, The Quincenera. Food is served and music is played. I will enter the party. As I walk to the center of the room, all eyes are on me. Family and friends cheer. The night begins…my life begins.
“Nayeli” By: Jusu Sirleaf
“Shysell” By: Jusu Sirleaf 14
“John Green” By: Thania De La Rosa
The Moon Is Calling
Far From Happiness
By: Saul Mercado
By: Keyanna Grier
I believe in happy endings, As the Sun falls and the Moon rises But it’s getting there. You can hear the Sound of our Howls. That’s what I’m worried about. But don’t be frightened, Pain, heartache, suffering, and loss. This is just the call of the Wolves All the things that I fear the most. This is just the call of the Wild Is this the cost of happiness? The call of the Moon As we run through the Forest It feels like a parasite, and my body is the host. You run away in fear Happiness seems to just hurt a little too much. Praying for the Sun to come back up Sometimes I find that true happiness… yes, it’s But don’t runbecoming We’re here to run free. Too hard to clutch. To be ourselves Some say that life is not life without suffering, We are the children of the Moon But the more I suffer, We are outside of the evolution of Men The further happiness is from my touch. After all, we are not human We are the Creatures of the Night So tell me, How does one keep it together? Don’t be frightened when you hear our Howls. When any and everything you try, We are not here to kill. Does not make it better. We are here to roam the Forest And when the more I’m suffering, We are here to run Free and Wild. the more I feel like I’m dying. 15
Heartbroken
I thought, “I’ll have a chance,” so I kept holding on. But I know that the last ray of hope is gone.
Huh? What’s that? You think I’ve been used? That don’t bother me, to me that’s everyday news.
Sadly it was you, the girl I trusted the most Who left me feeling empty, like a ghost. Today, the little hope I had inside, you killed. I don’t know why you destroyed something you helped build. I must have been crazy to even try. Cause all it did was crush me inside and make me cry.
I have nothing to lose, nothing to gain. I’m fed up of all the miserable pain. So when someone tells me to try again, Why should I bother? Nothing will change. I know it will always be the same result, “Mission failed.” Another insane insult.
My mind always told me to “leave in advance,” But my heart told me that I still have a chance. So I listened to my heart and gave it a shot.
“Red Sky” By: Erik Ramirez
It was a bad choice, now look at the misery and failure it brought.
And I cry when there’s too much to hide, like now because I have nothing inside. It has been about five times I had tried, And all those times I was denied. I remember the tears I cried and I shed. But the pain feels like I bleed red instead. You can taunt me all you want and call me a quitter. But I give up because I’ve been treated like litter.
By: Zhana Washington
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The Answer By: Thania De La Rosa
The Silent Tear By: Zhana Washington
Untitled By: Mika Depofi
Have her to hold Near the door They watched in I have a question you once asked me silence I passed to stand stuck in my head. You asked me what As I took my class As I bent near you were. ring And whispered the Well . . . You’re a lot of things. I can words Off her hand assure you of that. But it’s really hard “I love you” in her ear All who were to place you in a specific group. watching I touched her face and It’s not as bad as it sounds. You’re started to cry, Did not speak unique. A very special person. You’re As I put on my ring, A silent tear caring, crazy, talented, funny, Ran down my cheek and wanted to die responsible, and a bit charming. And just then the And in my mind You’re not afraid of being yourself wind began to blow and that’s the best part. The memories ran As they lowered her You’re a very understanding person Of the moments we casket into the snow and you mean a lot to me. walked This is what happens So, what are you? Hand in hand to people alive Well . . . But now her eyes When friends let were terribly cold You’re you. friends drink and For I would never And that’s what matters. drive. again
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Untitled By: Brycen Nunnally 18
Dreamer By: Rosemary Marin Top 15 Finalist for the Atlanta Hawks Poetry Slam I came into this world to chase a dream And leave behind a legacy But discrimination roams around And they seem to pull me and my family down I have a dream To one day be treated equally Because of where my family comes from Is a problem for some It seems that being legal is all that matters here But aren’t we all humans my dear I dream to be treated like a human To not be defined as “aliens” or “monsters” I don’t think it’s fair But you wouldn’t care You’re so corrupt and so full of it But I will show you bit by bit The accomplishments and the trophies That you will never win I will succeed with or without your help. I have a dream to leave behind a trademark Not just be that “wet back” that didn’t make it I want to succeed so bad I think it’s useless to be sad or bad, or mad I will kill this issue with kindness, and live my life To the fullest. Just know that your words were the dullest of them all. I am a dreamer with a dream. 19
In Celebration of Pebblebrook’s Anniversary!
Thanks for reading!! 20