I believe from my own experience, that we isolate ourselves for 3 main reasons... 1.
I’m the only one who can do what I do.
For a very long time I got my worth out of what I ‘did’ for God. Because of this I fell into the trap of believing that the more I did the more I was worth. It wasn’t long before I was setting up the the powerpoint presentation, leading praise and worship, jumping behind the puppet stage, preaching, whacking on a red nose and then farewelling the kids at the door. While this wasn’t a conscious decision of mine, the fact remains that I desired to be the ‘swiss army knife’ of kids ministry. While this isn’t a bad thing, pulling out every blade during a 90min morning service will eventually lead to you cutting off a finger. There were other capable, anointed people in the room but in my efforts to do it all myself, I isolated myself from them. Worried that they might steal some of my spotlight, I continued to push myself to the detriment of any possible real friendships at church and sadly, my relationships at home. Another pitfall of this belief is that if anyone comes into your team who you can learn skills from you automatically push them away isolating yourself even further. The people who can help us in our journey never get a chance because we push them away. If you find yourself relating to this example, can I encourage you to shift your focus from getting your worth from ‘what YOU do’ and refocusing on ‘what HE did’. I can assure you, the pressure of having to be the ‘Da Vinci’ of kids ministry will soon ease. Invest into the people around you and you will soon see their investment in you as a blessing, not a threat. 2.
I’m the only one who CAN’T do what I do.
Have you ever felt out of your depth? I know I have. More times than I care to mention. I remember when I was asked to come up with a clown character. I was terrified. I’d never done any form of clowning other than making that noise with my armpit in chemistry when I was in High School (best 8 years of my life). Squirt the Clown started off as the worst clown you’ve ever seen. I struggled with Squirt for a very long time before I realised what I was doing wrong. I wasn’t connecting with other clowns. My failure to take advantage of the skill and knowledge of my peers was due to my insecurity in my own ability. I was scared that if I asked for advice or took notice of someone else’s skills, I was somehow admitting that I had failed in my own skill-set. I was convinced, that everybody else was doing a better job than me, so in my efforts to keep my own perceived shortcomings hidden, I pushed my peers away. I simply didn’t want them to see me struggle. It’s interesting to note that other artistic fields have identified this behaviour and actively warn against it. An online article on the ‘Skinny Artist’ website lists the ‘9 warning signs of an amateur artist’. One of those signs is that “Amateur Artists isolate themselves from the artist community”. It states... “We also need to connect with other artists and the larger arts community. Far too often amateur artists tend to isolate themselves from other artists because they either feel envious of their success or unworthy of their attention.” (www.skinnyartist.com/9-warning-signs-ofan-amateur-artist) I believed (and still do) that the ‘Clown idea’ was a ‘God idea’ so I was determined to make it work. Some of you may not be aware of this but I speak with a stutter. You catch me on a bad day and I’ll make you late for your next appointment. Nowadays I speak and perform in front of thousands of people at a time and my impediment has no hold on my ability or my nerves. If God has asked you to do something that you see yourself struggling with, it’s an opportunity for God to shine through you. Generally, God won’t download everything you need to your harddrive or your ‘cloud’. Of course, everything you need is in Him but He’s also given skills to others to help you. You just need to be secure enough in your shortcomings and