YOU HUNGRY? AFTER MIDNIGHT! Breakfast Burritos • Waffles • Cheese Steaks Quesadillas • Mac ‘n Cheese • & More! 12am - 6am every Friday & Saturday night, it’s
at 425 Greene Street Key West, FL 33040
Catty Corner from Sloppy Joe’s Bar
www.amigoskeywest.com
4 kwBarTab.com
10 Daily Bar Buzz
daily happy hour & entertainment schedule
12 BarTab Entertainment Guide
bottle cap, green parrot, hog’s breath, lazy gecko, margaritaville, smokin’ tuna
16 Calendar of Events May, June, July ‘12 22 BarTab Awards 2012 29 Profiles
frank @ dante’s pool bar & restaurant chef maria @ bagatelle todd german @ centennial bank bar chord w/ john németh
32 Map of Key West 40 Restaurant & Bar Listings 46 Why This Rock Rocks
by leigh pujado
51 Some of My Favorite Things in KW, Vol I
by bill hoebee
56 Single on the Island 5 Best Ways to Ditch a Guy in Key West…
by betty b
58 Menus & Delivery Guide
PO Box 4951 Key West, FL 33041 info@kwBarTab.com 305.292.6262 Publisher Lawrence Bradley, Jr larry@kwBarTab.com Design Flypaper Publishing info@flypaperpublishing.com 305.292.6262 Words By Bill Hoebee billhoebee@clearchannel.com Leigh Pujado cleighpujado@gmail.com David Sloan sloaniv@gmail.com Contributing PhotoG Nick Doll nickdollphotography.com
mr z’s, luigi’s secret recipe, caroline’s The BarTab magazine is a free monthly publication distributed throughout Key West, FL. Omissions in the BarTab are at the discretion of the publisher. All rights reserved & contents ©2004-2012, Flypaper Publishing, LLC.
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At its most basic, a QR Code is a barcode on steroids. They're used for encoding information in 2-dimensional space -- like in the pages of BarTab & even on TV & web sites. They were originally used to track auto parts, but have become popular (especially in Japan) for much broader purposes. So how do you use them? QR Codes can be accessed by any smart phone. Just go to your app store & search for a QR Reader. For the iPhone we prefer the app, ironically named, QR Reader for iPhone For Android phones we found that Barcode Scanner seems to be highly recommended, but come on, who seriously uses Android phones? 7
8 kwBarTab.com
Amigos
Bagatelle
Blackfin Bistro
425 Greene 305.292.2009 Open late, & we mean late night every Friday & Saturday midnight - 6am is Locals’ Late Night!
115 Duval 305.296.6609 Happy Hour 5-7pm w/ half priced appetizers & drinks! Back deck full moon parties monthly
918 Duval 305.296.6609 Wednesdays get an Old Fashion Burger & any beer for $12 Music in the yard 7-10pm
Conch Republic
10
Bobby’s Monkey Bar
Bottle Cap
900 Simonton 305.294.2655 Cheapest Gay Drinks in Key West! Happy Hour noon - 8pm $2.50 domestics, $3 imports & wells
1128 Simonton 305.296.2807 Happy Hour 4-7pm & get a FREE $25 bar tab on your birthday!
Dante’s
Fat Tuesday’s
Fin
Grand Café
631 Greene 305.294.4403 Happy Hour 4-7pm 2 for 1 premium well drinks, all domestic & imported beers
951 Caroline 305.293.5123 Happy Hour 4-8pm All drinks almost half off & great raw bar specials
305 Duval 305.296.9373 Happy Hour 4-7pm $4 16oz daiquiris, $1.50 off liquor, $3 domestics, $3.50 import
613 1/2 Duval, 305.735.4412 Starting May 22nd receive 30% off your entire bill for the rest of the summer
314 Duval, 305.292.4740 Happy Hour open-5pm Discounts on all frozen drinks, mojitos & margaritas
Green Parrot
Hog’s Breath
Ibis Bay
Irish Kevin’s
601 Whitehead 305.294.6133 Happy Hour 4-7pm daily with “sound-checks” at 5:30pm every Friday. Monday night Bingo @ 7pm
400 Front 305.296.4222 Drink Discounts on all liquor & beer 5-7pm Live music all day from 1p-2am
3101 N. Roosevelt 305.296.1043 Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3-7pm half price drinks, half price apps
211 Duval 305.292.1262 Happy Hour open-6pm $1 off wells & $3 pints of Bud Light & live music all day long!
Margaritaville
506 Southard 305.735.4146 Happy Hour 5-7pm 2-4-1 chips giving on all draft beers
Kelly’s Caribbean
301 Whitehead 305.293.8484 Happy Hour 4-7pm $350 margaritas, $2 micro brews & 1/2 priced hot, mild, jerk or sweet & hot wings
500 Duval 305.292.1435 Get an original Cheeseburger in paradise! Along with signature margarita
Shanna Key Irish Pub
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
Southernmost Beach Café
Teaser’s
Vito’s
218 Duval 305.292.7673 Happy Hour 3-5:30pm with fully nude girls & a full liquor bar Beer & boobs!
1019 White 305.509.7716 Happy Hour 11:30a-6p 40% off beer, wine by the glass, appetizers & personal pizzas at the bar
Island Dogs
Jack Flats
Krawl
505 Front 305.509.7136 Happy Hour 3-6p $2.75 wells, $4 mojitos.
509.5 Duval 305.294.7955 12 High Def Projection TVs with personal speakers to listen. Late night food till 1am
Santiago’s Bodega
Prime Steakhouse
207 Petronia 305.296.7691 Happy Hour 3-6pm 6 tapas for only $5 1/2 priced beers, sangrias, & glass of wine. $10 off all bottles
Tattoos & Scars
512 Greene St 2-4-1 Happy Hour 4-7pm & Sun-Thurs 2-4am dom beers & wells, 20% local & military discount with ID $2 PBR draft all day
951 Caroline 305.296.4000 Steaks, seafood, martinis & fine wine. Opens daily at 6pm
1900 Flagler 305.295.8880 Happy Hour 4-7pm & midnight-2am
4 Charles 305.517.6350 Happy Hour 5-7pm Discounts on beers & well drinks with live music starting at 6pm
1405 Duval 305.295.6550 Happy Hour 4-7pm Your choice of wings, tuna sliders, popcorn shrimp or personal griller for $4 & $3 drink specials
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Bottle Cap
Happy Hour 4-7p
203 Duval 305 292.1903 Happy Hour 5-8p wells & beers 2-4-1
Sunset Pier
2 for 1 Happy Hour 4-7p wells, domestic drafts & bottles & $5 food menu
Terrific Sunset View @ 7 & 8p
528 Front 305.292.7862
MONDAY
Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p Open Mic Jam hosted by Larry Baeder & Dora @ 7p
FRIDAY
Celebrity Happy Hour for Charity 5-8p
Live DJ Music w/ Primetime 10p - close
Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p
VIP House & Electronica DJs 10p - close
Live DJ Music w/ Primetime 10p - close
Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p
THURSDAY
Live DJ Music w/ Primetime 10p - close
SATURDAY
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Rum Barrel
Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p
House Party with DJ Anton 11p - close
WED
TUESDAY
Lazy Gecko
Extended Happy Hour! (Sun & Mon) 5p - midnight all wells & beers are 2-4-1 DJ Music 10p-close
SUNDAY
EVERYDAY
1128 Simonton 305 296.2807
0 Duval 305.296.7701
Nina Newton @ 1p Robert Albury @ 7pm Rolando Rojas @ 1p Robert Albury @ 7pm George Victory @ 1p Rolando Rojas @ 7pm Rolando Rojas @ 1p Robert Albury @ 7pm George Victory @ 1p Rolando Rojas @ 7pm Rolando Rojas @ 1p Robert Albury @ 7pm Tony Durante @ 1p
Willie T’s
525 Duval 305.294.7674 Happy Hour 4-7p 50% off premium well drinks & beers Sunday, Bloody Sunday 2 for $10 Bloody Mary’s
Mojito Monday 2 for $12 Mojitos 2-4-$10 Margaritas Live Music 1p & 8p 2-4-$10 Margaritas Live Music 1p & 8p 2-4-$10 Rumrunners Live Music 1p & 8p Live Music at 1p & 8p Margaritas 2-4-$10 Live Music at 1p & 8p Margaritas 2-4-$10
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May 26 Julian Marley on the Beach Higgs Beach 6:30pm - Julian Marley live on Saturday, the 26th with open acts Suenalo & the SPAM ALLSTARS with music by DJ Lance-O. Tickets in advance are $22, $30 at the door with VIP ticket available. (305) 296-6253 ReggaeKeyWest.com
June
8-10 Bacchanalia Various Locations in Key West The 2012 celebrity chef cook-off between Chef Adrianne Calvo or Maximum Flavor on NBC & Key West’s Chef Tim Hadley. A 3 day orgy of food & wine in Key West. KeyWestBacchanalia.com
4 Full Moon Party Bagatelle, 115 Duval St 10pm-1am - Chill out after hours on the upstairs back deck of the Bag. Pour $6 glasses of wine & shakin’ $6 full sized martini. Guest bartenders & DJ. BagatelleKeyWest.com
28 Survivor’s Party
16-2 Finito: The Dream is Real Red Bar Theatre, 319 Duval 8pm - Cast & crew of Key West Burlesque promises icons & legendary songs on this wild ride into the depths of TV & movieland. This end of the season blow out, sells out fast, & there’s only 12 of them with limited seating! (305) 295-7047 16 kwBarTab.com
SM Beach Cafe, 1405 Duval St 4pm - Back by popular demand is the old fashioned Beach Party with giant summer grill buffet, cash bar, silent auction, 50/50 raffle & live music by the popular band, The Doerfels, & tunes by DJ Gary Nolan.
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2012
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MAY 12 JULY 20
28 Corey & Chaka Takeover The Porch, 429 Caroline St Corey Hankins & Chaka are doing it again! Corey Slangin drinks with the Porches very own Erica Boles. Of course Chaka bangin out great music!! 10p-2a.
July
4 Fireworks SM Beach Cafe, 1405 Duval St 9pm - Supported by the city & local business. 2 great places to watch, both at the end of Duval, The Beach Club is family friendly, but the bar will be jumping. Get there early to get a spot on the beach.
25-26 Lobster Mini Season
This 2-day event brings a staggering amount of recreational boaters searching for local lobsters. 6 per person limit per day with a 3” carapace size restriction. Florida Fish & Wildlife (305) 289-2320
Happy B’day
Smirk!
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FAVORITE KEY WEST ESTABLISHMENT FOR HAPPY HOUR [EATS] #3 Rum Barrel #2 Santiago’s Bodega #1 Alonzo’s BarTab put a survey online & had a little over 800 people chime in on some of there favorite places in Key West. Here are the results:
FAVORITE PLACE FOR BREAKFAST #3 Camille’s #2 Harpoon Harry’s #1 Blue Heaven
FAVORITE KEY WEST ESTABLISHMENT [OPEN 1 YEAR OR LESS] #3 2¢ #2 Tattoo’s n Scars #1 Krawl Off Duval BEST KEY WEST SIGNATURE DRINK There was a 3 way tie for the 3rd place cocktail...
Espresso Martini - Virgilio’s Mojito - Willie T’s Margarita - Kelly’s #2 Sangria - Santiago’s Bodega #1 Root Beer Barrel - Green Parrot
BEST PLACE FOR GRUB FOR RIGHT AROUND 10 BUCKS #3 Bad Boy Burrito #2 Amigo’s #1 Mr Z’s
#3
FAVORITE KEY WEST ESTABLISHMENT FOR HAPPY HOUR [DRINKS] #3 Conch Farm #2 Irish Kevin’s #1 Lazy Gecko
FAVORITE NEW TOWN OR STOCK ISLAND BAR #3 Shanna Key #2 Hurricane Hole #1 Hogfish
[Hogfish crushed it with 50% of the votes]
22 kwBarTab.com
Key West Songwriters 2012 FAVORITE PLACE FOR ‘ONE MORE’ AT THE END OF THE NIGHT #3 The Lazy Gecko #2 Dons’ Place #1 Green Parrot
photos NickDollPhotography.com
FAVORITE KEY WEST RESTAURANT TO TAKE A DATE #3 Louie’s Backyard #2 Prime Steakhouse #1 Santiago’s Bodega [Most write in votes: Michael’s]
FAVORITE KEY WEST RESTAURANT TO TAKE A ONE NIGHT STAND #3 Mr. Z’s #2 Bottle Cap / Groove Lounge #1 The Lazy Gecko FAVORITE KEY WEST RESTAURANT La Trattoria #2 Santiago’s Bodega #1 Blue Heaven #3
FAVORITE KEY WEST BAR Irish Kevin’s #2 The Porch #1 The Lazy Gecko #3
[Best write in answer: Key West Bait & Tackle] kwBarTab.com
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THE LAZY GECKO The Gecko House Sauce - A combination all #5
of their sauces, hot, BBQ & honey mustard, this is the way to go! You can get these large wings flashed fried or just baked for a healthier option.
The BarTab ensemble a eclectic crew to go venue-to-venue & taste test the Best Flavor Wings each place could cook up. This was no daunting task. By the end of the day we each had slowly consumed 30 wings & one of our judges managed to put down 13 large shots of Jameson. Needless to say, some of us were a mess, but I think we accomplished our mission.
HOG’S BREATH Jalapeño BBQ - Sticky & big in taste, the spice on these were perfect. ‘I drew a smiley face like a teacher would give a B+ student.’ -D. Sloan #4
ISLAND DOGS Garlic Parm - These organic wings have good flavor, are plump & high quality with a non-greasy texture. ‘These would win on pure originality!’ -L. Bell #3
JUDGES: Lynn Bell, chef-owner of Square Grouper; Brendan Mica, executive chef Ocean Key Resort; Deborah Staats a.k.a. Skunk, bartender Bull & Whistle; David Sloan, infomercial actor; Raggs, we’re not quiet sure what Raggs does nor his real name 24 kwBarTab.com
MARGARITAVILLE Jalapeño Jerk - Good sized, meaty wings with perfect amount of heat that’s not overwhelming. Served with cucumber spears for a different type of ‘palate cleanser.’ ‘These were easily may second favorite, & unexpected for Margaritaville.’ -D. Staats #2
FINNEGAN’S WAKE Teriyaki - A garlic, ginger, sesame, citrus glaze adhered perfectly to a crisp wing. A superb consistency & homemade wasabi dipping sauce to complement their wing, made this a pretty easy & unanimous decision. ‘Great full flavor wing, & well thought out with the Pear Cider pairing.’ -B. Mica #1
HONORABLE MENTION GIVEN TO... Rum Barrel Jamacian Jerk 2 Cents Thai Chicken Wing Southernmost Beach Cafe Jumbo Chilli Wings Best Wings to get for a few more days... BOBALUS
kwBarTab.com
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FRANK DARMANTE
Dante’s Pool Bar & Restaurant 951 Caroline Street BT: What are your full name, age & sign? Frank Michael Darmante. I’m 33 & a Virgo. BT: Where are you originally from & how many years in Key West? F: I’m from Ramsey, NJ & I think I’ve been here 5 & 1/2 years now. BT: What were you doing in Jersey before you moved? F: Just tanning every day. BT: Key West work history? F: Dante’s from the first day I’ve been here. BT: If you could trade jobs with anybody in Key West for a week, who would it be & why? F: Honestly, I don’t think I’d trade jobs with anybody. I love my job. I work at a pool bar & I see bikinis every day. I’m pretty happy. [Laughs] BT: Favorite places in Key West to eat? F: Obviously, Prime, upstairs from Dante’s. Bagatelle is one of my favorite spots. I love Luigi’s. When I call there they see my number on the caller ID & know my order by heart. I like Blackfin Bistro a lot, too. BT: What do you like to do when you’re not working? F: I’m usually doing the same thing I did in New Jersey, laying out at the beach & taking naps. [Laughs]
BT: What are some of your favorite & least favorite changes in Key West? F: My favorite is how close everybody is to each other. It’s like a big family. I’m sick of the German tourists & people who complain about Key West & are negative about ‘the drinking,’ just because it’s not for them. BT: When was the last time you puked? F: [Laughs] Oh, I haven’t puked in probably 10 years. I’ve never puked in Key West. Probably should have sometimes, but never did. [Laughs] BT: What’s your biggest bartending pet peeve? F: I can’t say that, because then they’re gonna do it to me. [Laughs] BT: If you could drink with anybody, living or dead, who would it be? & what would you drink? F: It’d have to be Charlie Sheen & whatever he’s drinking. BT: Anybody you want to give any shout-out to or any general plugs? F: Yeah, I’d like to thank my Uncle Dale for bringing me down to Key West. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here. kwBarTab.com
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CHEF MARIA MANSO Executive Chef at Bagatelle
115 Duval Street, (305) 296-6609
BT: How long have you been in Key West? M: I’ve been in Key West a little over a year. I came for vacation for a few days & I fell in love with it & thought, wow, it would be really cool to actually live here. BT: You have a pretty extensive resume. Which restaurant/ chef position was the most influential for you? M: I would have to say China Grill in Miami because I have a passion for Asian cuisine & it was the first time I think I really got to be creative using Asian ingredients. BT: You went from the Delano Hotel in Miami to Bagatelle in Key West, what was that like? M: [Laughs] That’s a great question. It’s totally different. I went from a high-profile, South Beach scene hotel. There were a lot of policies in that place. Everything was very structured & there were a lot of banquets, a lot of parties. I was operating a major hotel. We had a sushi bar & restaurant in the lobby, another restaurant in the pool. So it was a big, big operation. Coming to Bagatelle, I have the same responsibilities, but on a much smaller scale. So I actually get to know everybody better, as opposed to being stuck in an office & meetings all the time. It’s very rewarding for me to actually spend all the time in the kitchen, BT: What do you like to do when you’re not working? M: I’m on the beach, snorkeling, kayaking, paddle boarding & riding my bike. Yeah.
BT: What are your favorite & least favorite kind of food or food item? M: My favorite food would be Cuban, of course, & Asian cuisines. I actually worked for a restaurant called Asia de Cuba. My least favorite, I can’t think of anything yet. BT: What’s your best story of working with Key West’s most famous dishwasher, Zen? M: [Laughs] Oh, wow. Zen is something. [Laughs] He’s just happy all the time, happy all the time. He’ll take the hose that squirts the dishes & starts singing into it like a microphone all the time, all the time! Then he takes the plates & he pretends he’s DJ & he starts spinning them. He’s just so happy all the time. He works every day, 7 days a week. I hope I’m half as happy as he is when I get to be his age. BT: What’s your focus for Bagatelle presently? M: We’re focusing on keeping the high standards that we have, bringing in fresh ingredients, & as local as possible. We have free-range eggs that we’re doing for breakfast now. We’re in the process of revamping our breakfast menu & on some really cool lunch ideas for the summer. I’m working on a really unique French toast for instance. kwBarTab.com
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RESTAURANTS & BARS 1
2¢
2
AMIGO’S
3
BAGATELLE
4
BLACKFIN BISTRO
5
BOTTLE CAP / GROOVE LOUNGE
6
CAROLINE’S
7
DANTE’S / PRIME STEAKHOUSE
8
FIN
9
GREEN PARROT
10
HOG’S BREATH
11
IRISH KEVIN’S
12
JACK FLATS
13
KELLY’S
14
KRAWL OFF DUVAL
15
LAZY GECKO
16
LUIGI’S SECRET RECIPES
17
MARGARITAVILLE
18
MR. Z’S
19
PRIME STEAKHOUSE / DANTE’S
20
RUM BARREL
21
SANTIAGO’S BODEGA
22
SMOKIN’ TUNA
23
SOUTHERNMOST BEACH CAFÉ
24
SUNSET PIER / HOT TIN ROOF
25
TATTOO & SCARS
26
WILLIE T’S
27
VITO’S
STORES & SERVICES 1 BAREFOOT BILLY’S
CENTENNIAL BANK
2 BI PLANE TOURS
4 CITY VIEW TROLLEYS
3 CAPRICORN JEWELRY
5 FAIRVILLA MEGASTORE
Key West’s Best Jetski Tour Guided Tours & Hourly Rentals
6 FAST BUCK FREDDIES
9 SALON SEASIDE
7 KW HAMMOCK CO.
10 SOUTHERNMOST CIGAR CLUB
8 LIVING DOLLS
11 TOY FACTORY
(305) 849-0815
www.BareFootBillys.com
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TODD GERMAN
Business Development Officer
at Centennial Bank BT: Full name, years in Key West? Todd Allen German, about 16 years in Key West. BT: How long have you been with Centennial? T: About 4 & a half years now BT: Biggest advantage of being a Centennial customer? T: First off we’re open 7 days a week, our ATM use is free, we can instantly issue debit cards – the list goes on & on. BT: Bank account versus stashing your cash? T: Try to buy a plane ticket, rent a car or do an internet transaction without a bank account. It’s not gonna happen. There’s also the problem of security. Hiding your cash under your mattress is not a financial plan. What happens if your place burns down or a roommate rips you off? There are countless reasons to keep your money safely in a bank. BT: What are some issues that people might have when trying to open a bank account? T: Some people have issues from unpaid fees on all old accounts, & they can’t open a new one until those are cleared up. We won’t just turn you away, we’ll see what we can do to help address those issues. It’s usually an easier fix than most people fear. BT: Thoughts on stocks? T: Our stock just hit a record high, but the lawyers won’t let me comment any more than that. 34 kwBarTab.com
BT: What about the dreaded ATM fees? T: We’ll refund all ATM fees when you bring in a receipt. If your employer banks with us you can get a VIP account, which refunds them automatically. There are a lot of other free perks too like free checks, free internet. BT: What’s one of the biggest banking mistake you see people make? T: You have no idea how many tears have been shed when someone adds a boyfriend or girlfriend to their account & one of them empties the account. Joint accounts are for married couples & business partners. It’s also almost never a good idea to co-sign for someone on a loan. Their credit is bad for a reason & y co-signing on a loan, you are in effect borrowing the money yourself. BT: Adult drink of choice? T: A dark rum sitting on the back of the boat at Marina Hemingway outside Havana. BT: Best way to spend a day off? T: On the water or on a motorcycle – not at the same time. Centennial Bank has branches throughout the Keys with three in Key West: On the boulevard by GFS, on Simonton across from Bad Boy Burrito & on Whitehead a block down from the Green Parrot.
BAR CHORD w.
JOHN NÉMETH
BarTab had a chance to sit down & chat with John Németh, a super funky, soul/blues hybrid rising star from Oakland, CA. He’s a guy steeped in tradition & reminiscent of B.B. King, Ray Charles & Junior Parker & a harmonica player of riveting intensity & virtuosity.
BT: Where are you originally from? JN: Originally, Boise, Idaho. BT: Where did you get your musical start? JN: I got my start in Boise. When I was in high school, I joined a band as the singer. We did a talent show & they videotaped it. This guy watched it who owned a rowdy bar called The Grub Steak Saloon in Horseshoe Bend, Idaho. It was a good old-fashioned logger country bar. We went in there & played blues, outlaw country & old-time rock & roll. BT: Did they have the chicken wire around the stage? JN: No, this place wasn’t going to allow the bands to have chicken wire. [Laughs] BT: Describe your sound in 4 words. JN: Hard, soul, rock & blues. BT: Tell us about your first Key West gig. JN: It was a couple of years ago. Oh, man, we had a ball. We had such a great time at Hog’s Breath that we had to come back for more. It actually worked out great because we usually go & tour Florida for a couple of weeks. By the time we get over to the east coast, we’ve been bumping from town to town doing one-nighters all the way. So it’s so nice to have an easy, little gig for a week in one place where we can relax, decompress & chill out & just play some music & not worry about having to pack up for the next town. 36 kwBarTab.com
BT: How many times a year do you typically get to Key West? JN: We’re doing it twice a year, once in the springtime & then once in the fall. BT: If you could only listen to 3 artists for the rest of your life, who would they be? JN: I’d go with Junior Wells, Otis Redding & George Jones. BT: If you could trade jobs with anybody for a week, who would it be? JN: Well anything, I’d be dictator. [Laughs] BT: Any albums coming out that you’re working on? JN: Yeah. In fact, I’m releasing a double live album. 2 live CD’s are coming out at the beginning of this next tour. It starts in a week or 2. So everybody in Key West is going to have the opportunity to pick up 1 or both of these new live records. BT: Do you have a name for them yet? JN: Yeah, but I can’t tell you yet. Check out John Németh at the Hog’s Breath Saloon, 400 Front St., May 28th - June 3rd at 10pm.
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416 Appelrouth, 305 414 8626
An off the beaten path gastropub with graffiti-tagged walls with dishes from wings & burgers to yellowtail snapper & soft shell crab.
801 BOURBON
801 Duval, 294 4737
LAM
The front bar is the locals’ hangout. Drag shows upstairs at 9 & 11pm, bingo on Sun. Saloon 1 in back is not for the timid or faint-hearted. 4 TVs [w/ porn]
✆UFO
915 [NINE ONE FIVE] 915 Duval, 296 0669
Med–New American tapas menu with a tuna dome that can’t be missed. One of the finest wine lists in the Keys with ample indoor & outdoor seating.
UWFO
ALONZO’S 700 Front, 294 5880
One of the best views & great 4-6:30p happy hour. Stay after for a top rate menu & seafood selection.
AMBROSIA
✆F
1401 Simonton, 293 0304 BarTab’s favorite sushi dig. Great bar, lounge & restaurant. The new look may be a bit much to some die hard fans, but they are still serving up some of the best sushi in town. 40 kwBarTab.com
425 Greene, 292 2009
Tacos2, burritos, nachos & more. Not only delivering Mexican food to your door, you can get margaritas or some beer too! Open 8a-1a, Fri & Sat till 6a delivery 11a-11p.
✆UF
ANTONIA’S
615 Duval, 294 6565 This amazing Italian restaurant is one of Duval’s finest. 100s of wines by the bottle & original Italian menu creations daily. Lunch Mon-Fri 11am-2p & dinner every night at 5p with TK at the bar.
LAOM
AQUA 711 Duval, 294 0555
Aquanettes perform every night @ 9p, Fri & Sat 9&11p, w/ DJ music after the shows. Dueling bartenders every Mon 5:30-8:30p, karaoke at 11p. Texas Hold ‘Em Sat & Sun 3:30 & 5:30p.
UF
AZUR 425 Grinnell, 292 2987
Mediterranean fare at one of Key West’s chef owned restaurants. Breakfast 8a Mon-Fri with lunch till 2p. Dinner 6-10p Mon-Sat & a brunch on Sun.
LGO
BAGATELLE 115 Duval, 296 6609
Hide from the beer chugging contests of Duval & request your favorite martini for $6 after 10p. Hosting Full Moon Parties on the back deck monthly.
BEACH BAR @ the Pier House 01 Duval 296 4600
WFO
Stop by for lunch or just sit oceanside at the bar & soak in some of their island drinks. Ask about their live music.
✆WUFO
BERLIN’S
................................................................................................
UFO
2¢
OL
AMIGOS
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Bar & Restaurant Listings Listings appear in alphabetical order. If you would like to update, change or add a listing, please contact us at info@KWBarTab.com Cheers!
700 Front, 294 5880 Feeling swanky? Go upstairs at A&B Lobster House for one of the best menus in town. Great view of the harbor & the only cigar bar in town.
UFL
BETTER THAN SEX
411 Petronia, 296 8102 Erotically charged atmosphere, sporting dishes like Jungle Fever & Missionary Crisp. Open daily 6pm-midnight.
FO
BLACKFIN BISTRO 918 Duval, 509 7408
BLUE HEAVEN
FOM
From breakfast inside with a view of Duval to late night dinner on the back deck, Blackfin offers savory bistro cuisine with a true Key West flare with fantastic outdoor dining.
729 Thomas, 296 8666
Cats & chickens living in harmony & an award winning wine list which complements extraordinary food. One of Key West’s best breakfast/brunch spots.
BLUE MOJITO 601 Front
WUFO
At the Hyatt, plenty of waterfront couches to chill on. Get a little sun or hang in the shade. Light food served from daily & offering 20% locals’ discount.
BOBBY’S MONKEY BAR
LA
900 Simonton, 294 2655 One block off Duval, activities provided through the week. Karaoke 9:30p Mon, Thurs, Fri & Sun. Tues 7p pool tourney. HH noon-8p on beer & wells.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
The ultimate guys-only night out. Porn on TV, dancers on bars & pool w/ waterfall. Mon is movie night & 2-4-1 Tues. 16 TVs [2 big, 3 w/ porn]
GOLM
BOTTLE CAP 1128 Simonton, 296 2807
Cool lounge design & a rock n’ roll twist. DJ music Tues, Fri & Sat @ 10p. Pool room w/ a sic video jukebox to listen to your own tunes. Outside bar too for those cool KW nights! Happy hour 4-7p.
LM
BULL & WHISTLE 224 Duval, 296 4565
Live music all day, everyday. Get 2-4-1 margaritas [or one large] at the bar or grab a table & ask Lynn or Vicky for Debbie’s award winning Bloody Maria!
F
THE CAFÉ 509 Southard, 296 5515
Mostly vegetarian entrees, sandwiches & awesome veggie burger. Organic wines, specialty beers & herbal teas. Open daily Mon–Sat 11am-10p. Delivery or take out.
UFO
CAFÉ SOLÉ 1029 Southard, 294 0230
A few blocks from Duval & some of the most authentic cuisine this side of Paris. Fine wine, sherry & ports.
UF
CAMILLE’S 1202 Simonton, 296 4811
A locals’ favorite w/ a menu that changes daily. Serving a fantastic breakfast, lunch & dinner. HH 4-7p. Opens 8a-10p[ish].
SFO
CAROLINE’S 310 Duval, 294 7511
This totally outdoors bar/restaurant is awesome. Great for people watching & low priced menu items. Lisa & Bethany in command. Delivery available. 2 TVs
SL
CPS SPORTS BAR 908 Kennedy, 294 4818
Hidden in the minimalls of New Town, this is an escape from the clubs on Duval. HH 4pm-8pm, 13 TVs, 3 pool
L
CHART ROOM 1 Duval, 296 4600, ext 477
One of Key West’s oldest. Tucked inside the Pier House, opens at 4p w/ $3 Bacardi. 2 TVs
FO
COLOMBIAN GRACE 223 Petronia, 517-6449
Serving fresh, unique, homemade Colombian food.
✆WUF
THE COMMODORE 704 Front, 294 9191
On the harbor walk, come to experience their spectacular creations. Stop in the lounge & have a nip on a Frost Bite.
WFOM
CONCH REPUBLIC 631 Greene, 294 4403
This open-air bar & restaurant offers dozens of rums & then some. Plenty of seats at the bar, w/ live music every night. Be sure to ask about the rum sampler.
CONCH TOWN TAVERN
1218 Duval, 517 6419 Booze & cigars, C&S is open 10a-11p. Daily wine tastings & the only place in town to get Key West Factory cigars. Free Wi-fi for customers.
FO
CUBAN COFFEE QUEEN 284 Margaret, 294 7787
Located at the end of Margaret, offering you essential smoothies, coffees & sandwiches to get your day started right. Open 6:30a with delivery.
WFOM
DANTE’S 951 Caroline, 293 5123
Pool side drinking & dining with HH Mon-Fri 4-8p all drinks almost half price. Poolside DJ every weekend, tons of locals pounding shots - this is KW’s premier public pool to get hammered at! 15 TVs
SLO
DONS’ PLACE 1000 Truman, 296 8837
Closed only 3 hours, 6 days a week. Opens 7a & stays open till 4a. 10 TVs, 1 pool, 1 dart, 1 GT, juke tunes.
F
EL SIBONEY 900 Catherine, 296 4184
When your pockets are feeling light, Siboney can at least keep your belly full with great Cuban food at extremely reasonable prices.
L
3040 N. Roosevelt This is a locals’ favorite New Town hang out. Awesome prices, 2 pool tables. You can bet on a late night crowd to have ‘one more’ on the way home with.
O outdoor seating M entertainment L open late W
O
CORK & STOGIE
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724 Duval, 294 9354
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LAO
BOURBON STREET
on the water
A alternative lifestyle
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“Home of the World Famous Frozen Drinks” direct from New Orleans placed conveniently on Duval. Ask for your tooter as well. 8 TVs, 1 pool.
LGOM
FINNEGAN’S WAKE 320 Grinnell, 293 0222
Probably the best draft selection in the lower Keys & a sweet outdoor patio. You can get food here till at least 1a & drinks till 4a.
✆FO
FLAMING BUOY 1100 Packer, 295 7970
Fresh dishes & local seafood served daily. The lobster mac & cheese is a must. Dine in or take out with delivery as well. Open 6p Tues-Sunday.
LFO
FOGARTY’S
227 Duval, 294 7525 Home to the Flying Monkey Saloon with Kyle & Ryan serving up the fastest frozen drinks in KW! Lunch & dinner at great prices. 16 TVs [6 in A/C!]
✆UFO
FIN
613 Duval, 735 4412 Initmate, daring, delicious experience. Molecular gastronomy meets fine Key West dining. Only a few short steps off Duval, this ‘hidden gem’ is a foodie must!
✆LFO
GRAND CAFÉ 314 Duval, 292 4740
Proving to be an outstanding decision for lunch &/or dinner. Serving one of the best menus in town, plus mojitos & the Grand Margarita.
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O
GRAND VIN 1107 Duval, 296 1020
This wine shop/bar is a great place to start or end an evening. Buy a bottle, then head to the porch for a table. Vin pours wine by the glass & a few beers.
LM
GREEN PARROT 601 Whitehead, 294 6133
Probably the biggest anchor in town. The best live acts in the Keys w/ a bartending staff who make slinging drinks look as easy as drinkin ‘em. 4 TVs, 1 pool, 1 dart, best jukebox in S. FL.
WFO
HALF SHELL RAW BAR 231 Margaret, 294 7496
Great raw bar on the harbor walk & bar to kick a few back at & relax. Locals’ favorite every hour. Happy hour 4:30-6:30p.
FO
HARD ROCK CAFÉ 313 Duval, 293 0230
The Keys’ very own Rock & Roll museum w/ a multi-level patio bar & restaurant. Plenty of Key West Hard Rock goods available, too. 9 TVs
WFOM
HOG’S BREATH 400 Front, 292 2032
Catering to a large tourist crowd & also remains a locals’ favorite. Great bar staff & shucking bar & some of the best bands playing original live music in town. HH 5-7pm & 1-2am. 6 TVs, 3 bars
HOGFISH
WFOM
6810 Front [Stock Isl.], 293 4041 Best place for live music on Stock Island. Their hogfish sandwich is a must! Breakfast Sat & Sun at 8a. HH 4-7p Mon-Sat. 4 TVs, 1 pool
✆UWFO
HOT TIN ROOF
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305 Duval, 296 9373
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LOM
FAT TUESDAY
0 Duval, 296 7701
Delicious martini list & slick lounge with Sheila & Jake. Sit back & take in the ocean view & the live music from the Sunset Pier @ the Ocean Key. Opens at 6p.
LFOM
STONED CRAB, IBIS BAY 3101 Roosevelt, 294 4350
There a lot to look forward to at this prime New Town spot. Happy hour 3-7p, breakfast starting at 8a & serving food late night. Live music, public pool & Thurs movie night pool side.
F
IN KAHOOTS 3850 N. Roosevelt, 294 9986
Located at the Holiday Inn, Kahoot serves breakfast all day & has HH from noon-7p.
LM
IRISH KEVIN’S
Watch Guinness chugging contests on stage, accompanied by live music all day long. Great new draft system with over 25 flavors! Dave & Heath behind the bar keep you sloshed.
211 Duval, 292 1262
ISLAND DOGS
LGOM
505 Front, 295 0501
Street-side seating at the hub of Duval. Live music Thurs-Sat @ 8p. Open late night w/ food till the crowd dies down.
SLG
JACK FLATS 509 1/2 Duval, 294 7955
Great grub served to 1a or later. This is the place to be on game day. Matt & Doug run things at night, Gretchen in the day. 38 TVs [12 jumbo] & audio boxes.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
Spectacular outdoor dining area to enjoy Key West’s days & nights. HH 4-7p on drinks & wings at the bar. Try one of the micro brewed beers poured by Christopher, Doug & Abby.
GL
KOJIN 502 Street, 296 2077
6 different noodle bowls & perfect apps & sakes to complement. HH 4-5p & 11p-12a with 20% off all alcohol & a signature soft-egg shooter.
OL
KRAWL OFF DUVAL
506 Southard A few steps off Duval, Krawl offers the most draft craft beers in the Keys & a great wine in a conch style house setting. Outside seating with corn hole & HH 5-7p.
LA
KWEST 705 1/2 Duval, 292 8500
Shows nightly at 10p. Guys, amateur night is on Sat [w/ $2 Bud & Bud Lts.], think you got it? 2TVs [1 flat w/ nude show]. HH open–8p.
ULFOM
LA TE DA
1125 Duval, 296 6706
Outside full liquor bar. Shows in the Crystal Room & piano bar. HH 12-7p on beer, wells & wine.
LA TRATTORIA
524 Duval, 296 1075
✆UF
Probably the Keys’ best Italian! Classic cuisine & impressive wine list. The street side bar is perfect to sip on libations w/ Erin & Kathy.
SLO
LAZY GECKO 203 Duval, 292 1903
The Gecko throwin’ the best party in town with a locals’ back bar that’s a great escape from the weekend madness! DJs Tues, Wed-Sat late night. HH 5-8p [till midnight Sun & Mon]. 15 TVs
FO
LOBO’S 5 Key Lime Sq, 296 5303
Fresh ingredients & prices you can’t beat in downtown Key West. Wraps, quesadillas, nachos & beer. Dine in or get it delivered. Open Mon-Sat 10a-5p or a little later.
✆WUFO
LOUIE’S BACKYARD 700 Waddell, 294 1061
Hang out ocean side on the After Deck & sip on some of Louie’s passion. Lunch 11:30a & dinner 6p.
LUIGI’S SECRET RECIPES 521 Fleming, 292 4962
zLG
Calzones, sandwiches & pizza pies or slices. Just a half block off Duval & open till 12a w/ delivery. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
FO
MANGIA MANGIA 900 Southard, 294 2469
Fresh seafood, homemade pasta made daily & the Keys’ most famous pesto. Great outdoor garden to dine in. Offering over 400 different bottles of wine.
FO
MANGOES 700 Duval, 292 4606
A very classy & relaxing dining patio complete w/ an outdoor bar. Sit back & watch the entertainment of Duval Street while dining or sipping on a cocktail.
O outdoor seating M entertainment L open late W
on the water
FM
MARGARITAVILLE
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303 Whitehead, 293 8484
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UFO
KELLY’S
500 Duval, 292 1435
Daytime the restaurant jams more than anywhere else on the island. Bands take the stage at 9p. Check out their ad for band schedule & for their 4 Orange Vodka drink of the month!
UFO
MARTIN’S
917 Duval, 295 0111 European-style fare nicely settled on upper Duval. With street-side lounge seating & a menu Chef Martin has been perfecting for over 20 years in KW.
UFO
MICHAELS 532 Margaret, 295 1300
Located in the back streets of Old Town, this is a Key West favorite. Owner & Chef Michael Wilson offers a classic menu w/ an island twist.
L
MR. CHEAPEE’S
423 Duval, 305 292 0486
Cheapee’s offers a wide variety of liquors & wines to suit every taste and every price range. Cigs, liquor, wine & beer right off Duval to-go.
MR. Z’S
501 Southard, 305 296 4445 2798 N Roosevelt, 296 5306
LF
Grinders, pizza, & the best cheesesteaks in Key West! Open till 4a every night, just a half block off Duval. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
OLD TOWN MEXICAN CAFÉ 609 Duval, 296 7500
FO
Subtle ethnic décor enhances your Mexican experience. Beer & wine w/ a handful of Mexican beers, but we opt for the pitchers of sangria.
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Outdoor sushi restaurant, coupled w/ astounding sushi & a large supply of sake, BarTab doesn’t need much more than that.
AFO
PEARL’S 525 United, 292 1450
The Distinctive Resort for Women in Key West. Poolside bar & food served. 2 blocks from the Southernmost Point. HH Mon-Sat 5-7p.
LM
PETE’S PIANO BAR 218 Duval,
Dueling pianos returns to Duval. The amped up atmosphere is infectious. It’s easy to get caught up in the drinking & the singing. 2-4-1 HH open till the first show.
✆UF
PISCES 1007 Simonton, 294 7100
This is as upscale as Key West gets, having received awards from Zagats & AAA 4 diamond & original Warhols on the wall. Open at 6p & reservations recommended.
FO
POINT 5
On top of 915, pouring a variety of beers, wine & liquor. Beautiful petrified wood bar top & a 2nd story balcony makes people watching easy while relaxing on Duval. Open 6p-2a nightly.
915 Duval, 296 0669
AFO
THE PORCH 420 Caroline, 517 6358
Local crowds drinking carefully selected craft brew beers. Bottles of wine to go or camp out on the porch with $2 off drafts & wine 4:30-6:30p. 44 kwBarTab.com
UWF
PRIME STEAKHOUSE 951 Caroline, 296 4000
This tucked away gem is located upstairs from Dante’s. Serving a steak & seafood menu that is complemented by an extraordinary wine list.
FO
RED FISH BLUE FISH 407 Front, 295 7447
Steps away from Mallory Square, serving some of the best seafood in town great pre & post-sunset destination with $5 margaritas every day.
LOM
RICK’S
208 Duval, 296 4890
Hormone-fueled crowds dance to DJ’s spinning dance melodies at 8p w/ 2 decks above Duval. Live radio broadcast every Fri & Sat night!
RUM BARREL
SGOM
528 Front, 292 7862 Here is your Eagles’ & Philly’s Southernmost headquarters. Sweet upper deck with live music on weekends. 10 flat HD TVs. More than 100 rums poured by Mel, Alan & John.
WFO
SALSA LOCA
628 Duval, 292 1865
Best authentic Mexican food in Key West! Eat chips & salsa till you can’t anymore. Open Tues-Sun 11am-10pm, 11p on the weekends.
WFO
SALUTE 1000 Atlantic, 292 1117
Get to Higgs Beach for a terrific beach front treat. A casual atmosphere dishing up lunch & dinner. HH 4-7p w/ $1 off drinks. Opens 11:30a.
✆FO
SANTIAGO’S BODEGA
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1075 Duval, 294 0092
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FO
ORIGAMI
207 Petronia, 296 7691
Enjoy a unique dining experience. With over 30 tapas dishes & great wine. Escape the crowds at this cozy restaurant in the heart of Bahama Village. HH 3-6 w/ $5 tapas menu & drink discounts.
LFOM
SCHOONER WHARF
202 William, 292 3302
Spacious marineside bar where the din of local chatter & live music fills the air. See the only Bar Magician in the Keys. 2 TVs, 1 pool
✆UF
SEVEN FISH
623 Olivia, 296 2777
Nestled in Key West‘s sleepy back streets, 7 Fish has become a favorite for “locals in the know.” Eclectic menu w/ emphasis on local catch.
SHANNA KEY
SLG
1900 Flagler, 295 8880
Great selection of ales & great Irish food served till 3a. You can always find Barry & Peter up for a drink. 7 TVs, 1 GT ‘06, internet juke tunes.
L
SHOTS & GIGGLES Greene & Ann, 414 8272
Beer & wine bar, & package store. 30% off at the bar HH 4:30-6:30p. Great place to stop for one & take a bottle to go.
LFM
SLOPPY JOE’S 201 Duval, 294 5717
There’s enough entertainment from people watching alone, & also serving up live music all day. Check out the their Joe’s Tap Room Backroom Saloon.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
This beach side restaurant braves the morning to serve breakfast. One of the few bars on Key West w/ a beach with chair rentals. Happy hour 4-7p $4 apps & $3 drinks. 5 TVs
LFOM
SMOKIN’ TUNA 4 Charles, 517 6350
Great place for a bite right off Duval. Check out some live music nightly after 6pm. Happy hour 5-7p, 50¢ off all drinks.
UFOM
SQUARE ONE
1075 Duval, 296 4300
In Duval Square plaza, w/ a menu of largely American-style seafood. Try Patrick’s “Monkey Nuts.” B&L served 11am–3pm, Dinner starts at 6p.
SL
STICK N’ STEIN
1126 N Roosevelt, 296 3352
Housing over 80 TVs, 4 bowlingo lanes, 10 pool tables, 6 Golden Tees, this could be the entertainment capital of Key West.
WFOM
SUNSET PIER
0 Duval, 296 7701
This could be the beginning or end of your Duval crawl. A great place for sunsets on their extra long seated pier. At the Ocean Key Resort, ry the Monkey Love cocktail from Al or Elin.
LOM
TATTOOS & SCARS 512 Greene, 517 6610
Bikers, meet locals, meet people who love to drink. Throw in a sic sound system, titty friendly events - we could be ready to move in! Two 2-4-1 HHs 4-7p &
WFO
TAVERN N TOWN
3841 Roosevelt, 296 3676 Rated the best restaurant & bar in the US by Marriott guests. The T&T has a 2-4-1 happy hour everyday, plus on Tues & Thurs $7 tapas at the bar.
L
TEASERS
218 Duval, 292 0486 The slim staircase on Duval gets you access to plenty of girls hanging out all night long! Slick lighting & sound system with a Grey Goose VIP room.
WFO
TURTLE KRAALS
231 Margaret, 294 2640 This harbor front restaurant serves a smokehouse fare w/
breakfast 7-11a. Awesome view at the TK tower bar. Great sunset view w/ HH 4-6:30p.
L
VINO’S ON DUVAL 810 Duval, 294 7568
2 great tables on their raised on-street patio & offering 16 wines by the glass, a variety of wine by the bottles & beers. Open noon-1a.
LOM
VIRGILIO’S 524 Duval, 296 8118
Upscale martini bar has live jazz music Wed & Thurs, rotating bands Fri & Sat & home of the $5 martini every Mon night!
FO
VITO’S 1019 White, 509 7716
Lunch & dinner with sandwiches, pasta & pizza in Vito’s courtyard seating. Kick back at the outdoor bar with a full menu & HH 11a-6p Mon-Fri 40% off personal pizzas, apps & drinks.
O outdoor seating M entertainment L open late W
WLO
WHITE TARPON
late night Sun-Thur 12-2a. 1 pool, 8 TVs
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1405 Duval, 295 6550
WFO
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SOUTHERNMOST BEACH CAFÉ
on the water
700 Front, 295 5222
Featuring Key Lime martinis w/ graham cracker rims poured daily. Beer, liquor & wines, available to-go as well.
LGM
WILLIE T’S 525 Duval, 294 7674
Late night menu with panini, pizzas & more. Serving 31 flavors of mojitos & happy hour 4-7p with 50% off premium well drinks & beers. Mojito Mondays 2-4-$12. Bands throughout the week @ 7p & Fri & Sat @ 3p & 7p.
WINE GALLEY PIANO BAR One Duval, 296 4600
WM
Specializing in wine & martinis. Ladies night on Tuesday & happy hour all night, every night. A perfect spot to sneak away with friends or to find new ones.
WORLD’S SMALLEST BAR 124 Duval, 294 8507
L
The world’s smallest bar lives up to its name. Blink & you might miss it. This place stays open late night on Duval.
Coming Soon... BAD APPLE
422 Appelrouth
CHARLIE MAC’S 404 Southard
SOLO
610 Greene
A alternative lifestyle
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WHY THIS ROCK, ROCKS by Leigh Pujado
People (including yours truly) bitch a lot about the perils of living in Key West. We complain about the cost of living, the scooter horns, our neighbor’s dog poop, whiteflies and genetically modified mosquitoes. We whine that it’s too hot or it’s not sunny enough; we complain that Duval Street is too packed or too empty, that the Fantasy Fest nudists are too fat and that our tip jars are too light. To combat this negativity, I’ve decided for our “Best of…” issue of Bar Tab, to compile a list of reasons this rock rocks! Here are my top six: 46 kwBarTab.com
AN ABUNDANCE OF WEIRDOS On the morning of New Year’s Day I spied a bleary-eyed young man wearing nothing more than a sailor top, a sailor cap and underpants, riding a pink bicycle down White Street. It made me smile so hard, as if the gods had sent this loony bicyclist across my path as a sign that it was going to be a good year. Looking for characters? This island is chock full of them. No matter how strange you think you are, there’s always someone just around the corner whose freak flag is flying wilder than yours. From the Frisbee Guy to Kwelvis, from the Hat Man to Mr. Chapman’s one man bicycle jam, this island turns the walking freak shows into competitors. A COMMUNITY OF SUCCESSFUL & INTERESTING PEOPLE We’ve all heard the stories of people who relocate to the Keys to complete their downward spiral into drunken oblivion and financial ruin. What we should talk about more are all the success stories our island has produced. Once upon a time there was a young, scrawny punk from Minnesota called “Snow Ball” who moved to Key West and began slinging drinks at a late night, underbelly club named Wax. He was wild, kind of like a mustang, (or a kid who parties too much.) In the loving arms of this island, “Snow Ball” grew up to become a talented writer, then went on to co-own both a wildly successful bar and an awesome little restaurant. And he’s just one of the many talented, cool people I know.
DRAG QUEENS Drag queens keep a community real, which may seem like a paradox since they are essentially males impersonating females. But any community in which it is perfectly normal on any given night for a man to go to work in stilettos, a sequin gown and enough make-up to give Tammy Faye Baker a run for her money, well that’s a town without the proverbial stick up its ass. Drag Queens keep us grounded. They remind us that all people, no matter how “strange”, or how “foreign” or how “weird”, are still people and deserve the same respect. If you don’t believe me, go fuck with a drag queen. I dare ya! DION’S FRIED CHICKEN & MR Z’s CHEESESTEAKS We don’t need no stinkin’ Taco Bell, KFC or any other late night fast food chains. Everyone who’s seen the other side of midnight on Duval knows Mr. Z’s is the place to go. For 10 years now the boys down on Southard Street have been slinging authentic Philly cheesesteaks all night long for a great price. We’ve also got a 24-hour gas station that produces a fried chicken product rivaled only by crack cocaine. A buddy visiting from Brooklyn recently discovered Dion’s about which he said, “It was so gross and so good, I felt so dirty and yet totally satisfied.” That about sums it up.
COSTUME OPPORTUNITIES People here like to dress up, and I don’t mean “in their Sunday best.” They like to wear full force costumes with feathers, Spandex, leather, face paint, capes, wings, horns, hats and high heels. Costuming is an art form for many and events with costume opportunities, like the Zombie Jesus versus Robo Bunny are being added to our island calendar as they are conceived. A town full of costumed grown-ups is a town full of fun, creative people. THIS ISN’T OHIO Not even close. Have you looked outside? This place is freaking beautiful. We have sweeping canopies of flowering trees, year round bikini weather and an uncanny absence of snow, sleet, tornados, volcanoes and earthquakes. Even on a yucky weather day, Key West is far better than, say, Fargo. Millions of people actually pay to come here to get away from their crappy lives. So if you are lucky enough to live here... then you are lucky enough! cleighpujado@gmail.com drinkslingershandbook.com
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Mr Zs 10 Year Anniversary Party
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y Some of MWest ey Favorite Kolume I Things, V by Bill Hoebee
Before you think I’m getting all warm & fuzzy in my old age, my next column is titled “The real douche bags of Key West,” so behave yourselves. Here are some things I like about Key West in no specific order. It’s by no means a comprehensive list, so hopefully I’ll
remember to stop adding to this one, & save some for Volume II. Here we go: I like hanging out with Rob O’Neal, watching Fradley play his horn with any band & watching South Park with the Bird. I like old Conchs, showing friends & visitors “around town” & walking down Duval Street in the morning for a different perspective. I like treasure hunters, how people come together for benefits, the St. Paddy’s Day bar stroll, the “Commotion on the Ocean” sunset sail aboard Fury Water Adventures, Ft. Zachary Taylor at sunset & my annual Fantasy Fest visit. I like Timmy’s Tuxedos & reading Michael Haskins’ & David Sloan’s books. I like it when the a/c comes back on after a big storm, when I can take a shower & eat anything but the dreaded Chef Boyardee raviolis. I like seeing the happy & amazed faces of first-time tourists loving the place I live, & the cool, mostly English speaking taxi kwBarTab.com
51
drivers around town. I love waking up without a hangover on Sunday morning, reading Mandy Miles’ column & the Crime Report at Goldman’s & then going home for a nap. I like looking through Conch Color & Paradise magazines to see what my friends are up to. I like the Green Parrot’s Sunday afternoon “soundcheck” shows, Bobalu’s pizza, Mr. Z’s cheese steaks, Dante’s pool bar & sunsets at Ocean Key Resort’s Sunset Pier. I like Cuban coffee, mosquito control & a/c repairmen. I like the artichoke dip Denise makes herself at Camille’s restaurant, drag queens & people who spray paint themselves silver & stand still on a milk crate for money (my guidance counselor never told me about this gold mine). I like the fact that so many people who move here end up working at something completely different from what they did in the “real world.” I like Duke Donovan’s Xmas Trolley Tour, the Holiday Parade & the 4th of July fireworks. I appreciate the difficulty of keeping “Paradise”
52
safe & the hard & dangerous work of our police officers, firefighters, EMTs & local government. & I like the fact that just about everyone knows & likes Mayor Cates, I know I do. I like Charlie Bauer’s Key West Songwriter’s Festival & the Smokin’ Tuna Saloon, listening to Rick Lopez & Judd call Conch baseball games on 1600 AM & hanging with the “Dock Dixie” & Miss Loretta, a/k/a Commander Sea Pickle. I like Jason & the good folks at Mote Marine Laboratories & many of our incredible local fishermen & women. Every visitor has an idea of what Key West will be like & some wonder what it would be like to live here. Unless you have a trust fund or a shit load of fuck-you-money, it won’t be easy, but it won’t be boring – it’s never boring. Key West is much more to me than the landscape, architecture, history & weather (except summers, which are like Cambodia & can suck at times). It’s the bonds, the
routines, the lack of routines, but most of all the people who range from semi-normal & quirky to flat-out weird & all the rest. It’s home & I love it, & being on radio & TV here is the best. I could have left many times, but I couldn’t, if ya know what I mean. But with 50,000 humans crammed onto this 2x4-mile island there’s bound to be a lot of douche bags; & that’s who I’ll be telling you about in our next edition of BarTab – because paradise ain’t perfect. Peace. Bill Hoebee PS – one of my absolute favorite things is coming up Memorial Day Sunday – the weird wild “Minimal Regatta at the Schooner Wharf Bar” one of the coolest places on earth. Bill Hoebee is on weekdays 2-7pm on the Florida Keys #1 radio show, “Hoebee in the Morning” on SUN 99.5 FM & also the host of Key TV’s Club Hour.
Krawl’s 1 Year
Anniversary Party
54 kwBarTab.com
3 . Don’t respond to his text messages. If he really
wants to see you, he’ll call to make a date. Chances are he’ll never make the effort or get the guts to actually call, so you’ll be off the hook. If he does call and you decide to answer, then explain that the texts went unanswered as a matter of principle and that you’re not good at keeping up with them anyway. When you run into him – and you inevitably will – just smile and play nice as if you have no idea he likes you and wants to date you. If he says you should go out sometime, tell him to call you. When he texts you, ignore it. The cycle starts all over again.
Spring Set him loose on Duval Street during from him hear won’t You . Jäger of Break with a bottle the entire month of March.
5.
ut 4 . So you accidentally have a drunken-make-o guy local a with over sleep mptu impro and session high road and you never want to see again. Take the crushing soulthe him Give ly. diate imme call him have must booze the news: You’re really sorry, but s. friend be to want just you and head your gotten to least at but not, e mayb Will this deter him? Maybe, with him again you put it out there. Will you make out next weekend? Probably.
56 kwBarTab.com
2.
Sleep with a tourist. They’re on the next plane out of town anyway.
1 . Pull the ol’ switcheroo. Hook up with one of his friends. (Never tried this one? It’s easier to pull off than you may think.) Questions? Comments? Advice? Want to ask Betty out on a date? Email her at singleontheisland@gmail.com or find her on Twitter @singleontheisle. You just might get lucky…
photos NickDollPhotography.com
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ever leave your house again! With the new reboot of ToGoKeyWest.com the site adds a bunch of new features. The first thing we noticed is how it shuffles positioning of the restaurants according to if they are currently open or closed. This is a great feature to see what your current options are & you can still look at the closed establishments menus too. It seems like every delivery menu in Key West is on the site (or damn near close). Just click ‘Need More Options’ 58 kwBarTab.com
at the bottom of the main page & see over 40 different restaurants. Another cool aspect is a ‘show/hide’ feature on the menu pages to control how much of the menu you see. This is great when you’re on a hand held device. Overall the site is great. No online ordering (yet?), but their menu pages are a lot better than most of the restaurants on the site’s own websites. Defiantly worth a bookmark when the site goes live Monday, May 21st.
Sandwiches
Appetizers $7.99 Tex-Mex Rolls Egg Rolls w/ spicy Chicken, Corn, Black Beans, Cheese & Onion $9.99 Redenbacher Shrimp Bite sized Shrimp fried golden brown, with Cocktail Sauce $7.99 Tomato Lovers’ Bruschetta Baguette, w/ Tomatoes, Garlic, Mozzarella, & Balsamic Vinegar Quesadillas Chicken or Shrimp $8.99 w/ Jack & Cheddar, Peppers, Onions, Tomatoes & Jalapenos $7.99 Buffalo Style Chicken Wings Mild, Medium, or Hot with Celery & Bleu Cheese Dressing
Fresh Green Salads $9.99 The Bittersweet Endive, Arugula, Gorgonzola Cheese, Candied Pecans, & Spring Lettuce in a light Vinaigrette Caesar Salad $7.99 add Chicken or Shrimp $9.99 $9.99 Macon & Bacon Crispy Fried Chicken, Roasted Corn, Sweet Onions, Crunchy Bacon, & Maple Georgia Pecans, with Romaine Lettuce, & our own Home-style Ranch Dressing $9.99 Southwestern Chicken Salad Grilled Chicken, Roasted Corn, Black Beans, Tomatoes, Tortilla Strips, & Cheddar & Jack Cheeses, in a Spicy Lime Dressing
Sandwiches served with French Fries Delivered sandwiches served with Potato Chips $7.99 Cajun Blackened Chicken Sandwich Cajun Chicken w/ Cheddar, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion & Spicy Mayo $9.99 Caroline’s Famous Fish Sandwich Fresh Fried Golden Brown with Lettuce, Tomato & Tartar $7.99 Front Street Club Turkey, Ham, Provolone, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato & Mayo $8.99 Cuban Mix Pork, Ham, Bacon, Pickles, & Mustard on Grilled Cuban Bread $8.99 Rev. Joe’s Burger The BIGGEST, the BEST, served with Lettuce, Tomato, Onion add Bacon or American, Provolone, or Cheddar $1 each
Caroline’s Favorites $14.99 Chicken Broccolini Grilled Chicken Breast, Penne Pasta, & Fresh Broccoli, in a creamy Parmesan/Romano Sauce $16.99 Kingston Chicken Spicy Marinated Jerk Chicken with Rice, Black Beans, & fried Plantains (Breast & Wing with Bones) Blackened Chicken Pasta $12.99 Spicy Grilled Chicken Breast with Peppers and Penne Pasta in a Cajun Cream Sauce
SANDWICHES, WRAPS & PANINI All sandwiches served with pickle & chips Caprese 6.95 Fresh Mozzarella, Tomato, Basil, Grilled Red Onions, Balsamic Reduction & Olive Oil Smoked Salmon 8.95 with Onion, Tomatoes & Caper Cream Cheese
305.292.4962 531 Fleming St SALADS House
4.95
Caesar 9.95 in our house made Caesar dressing Caprese 9.95 Tomato, Fresh Mozzarella & Basil topped with Roasted Red Onion, Basil infused Olive Oil & balsamic reduction Pacelli’s 8.95 Mixed Baby Greens, Candied Almonds, Dried Apricots, Gorgonzola Cheese & finished with a Hazelnut Balsamic Dressing Spicy Tuna & Avocado 12.95 Sesame Crusted, Rare Seared Tuna with Avocado, Scallions & Spicy Aioli Tomato & Avocado 9.95 Tomato, Avocado & Red Onion tossed in Lemon Vinaigrette on a bed of greens Beet Salad 11.95 Oven Roasted Beets stuffed with Goat Cheese with Pine Nuts, Mixed Greens & a Tarragon Vinaigrette Add Shrimp 3.45 or Chicken 2.95
FREE DELIVER OT & NT
Marinated Portobello 7.95 Warm Marinated Portobello, Baby Greens, Roasted Garlic & Herb Goat Cheese The Turkey 7.95 Roasted Turkey, Havarti Cheese, Bacon, Baby Greens, Red Onion & Garlic Aioli Pesto Chicken 8.95 with House Made Basil Pesto, Mozzarella Cheese & Baby Greens Sesame Tuna 8.95 Sesame Crusted Rare Seared Tuna with Wasabi Aioli Make Your Own Sandwich 7.95 Make Your Own Panini 8.95
CALZONE & STROMBOLI Cheese 8.95 Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parmesan Cheese. Additional Toppings $1 Vegetable 10.95 Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parmesan Cheeses with Onion, Mushrooms & Spinach Pepperoni 9.95 Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parmesan Cheeses & Pepperoni Signature Pie Filling 12.95 Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parmesan Cheeses with your favorite Signature pie toppings
11AM-12AM, 2AM FRI & SAT
PIZZA & SIGNATURE PIES White or Wheat Dough White or Tomato Pizza Small 14” 13.95 Large 16” 15.95 extra toppings 14” .75 ea 16” 1.25 ea Signature Pies Small 14” 15.95 Large 16” 17.95 Sicilian Margherita Fresh Mozzarella, Tomato, Basil, Garlic & Olive Oil Acadia Fresh Garlic, Spinach, Tomato & Mushrooms Meat Lovers Pepperoni, Sausage, Bacon, Ham & Meatball Veggie Lovers Onion, Bell Peppers, Mushrooms, Black Olives, & Spinach The Godfather Pepperoni, Sausage, Mushroom, Onion & Black Olives The Greek Feta, Spinach, Sundried Tomato & Artichoke Hearts Chicken BBQ, Buffalo or Bacon Ranch
EXTRAS Bruscetta on Crostinis
7.95
Garlic Knots
4.95
Tuna Carpaccio 10.95 Thin Slices of Tuna with Lemon Juice, Salt & served on a bed of greens
15% LOCAL DISCOUNT
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