The Joy Ride
Helping women find a life filled with joy, passion, excitement and success.
October 2011 Rest. Relaxation. Laugh. Breathe. Solitude. Dream. Purpose. Solitude. Dream. Purpose. Rest. Relaxation. Laugh. Breathe. Inspire. Love. Joy. Harmony. Enjoy. Renewal. Passion. Truth. Inspire. Love. Joy. Harmony. Enjoy. Renewal. Passion. Truth. In this Issue... 3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Welcome By Julie McGrath “True passion is intoxicating 4. . . . . . Quick! Light my fire, I have things to do! By Angelina James and invigorating, soothing 5. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Massage – Just “BE” By Michelle Gallant, LCMT and sensuous, magical and 6. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Never Diet Again! By Andrea Cohen mystical. I just thought 7. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ask The OB/GYN? By Dr. Julie McCullough you should know what 8. . . . . . . . . . Are You Settling for Good Enough? By Ginger Burr you’re in for.” 10. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Finding Hope By Linda Rettstatt 16. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Matins By Jennifer Jean Sarah Ban Breathnach, Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self (Grand Central Publishing) 17. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Burnout vs. Stress By Julie McGrath 19. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Adventure IS Possible! By Meghan Gehan The Ladies of Joy... 22. . . When was the last time you wrote a letter? Julie McGrath, President and Founder of The Joy Source By Julie McGrath 24. . . . .Challenge Yourself to be Politically Active By Georgianna Melendez 25. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . How Wonderful By Julie McGrath 26. . . . . . . One Woman’s Life, Intreped Tandem By Cathy Pastva 32. . . . . . . . . . . . . A Woman’s Day of Inspiration 2 www.thejoysource.com Meghan Gehan, Editor Donna Blais, Graphic Design I would love your comments to the articles and stories so I can include them in the next issue, send them to Julie@thejoysource.com. The Joy Ride * October 2011 Welcome, My Friends, To My New Online Magazine! My printed newsletters are a thing of the past, as moving forward I have much more inspiration to share with you! I hope you and your friends enjoy reading the stories, reflecting on your own journey and setting goals for a joyful life! play…just you, no kids) Go to church when you feel the need, when your soul is in need of faith; not because “you should go”. I want to share with you what I spoke about at my most recent event, “A Woman’s Day of Inspiration and Joy”, held on October 2nd at the Peabody Marriott. My topic was “Creating Your Best Life”, and in preparation for that day, I spent time thinking about how that might happen. Then I realized there were only two simple steps to acquiring the life of your wildest dreams. A life filled with joy, passion, excitement and success. And remember, You are worthy. Embrace those thoughts in your body, mind, spirit; they are all connected on this journey. “I am worthy of receiving all the good life has to offer”. You have to: 1. Want it for yourself. 2. Believe you are worthy of it. Want that exciting life for yourself, one where you feel good about yourself, like you are getting plenty of “you” time? Fight for that time. For most of us it will not be handed to us or even suggested. Give yourself permission to take that time for you. Create the life you want. It’s the mantra that should play over and over in your head. And if, by any chance you forget, surround yourself with true friends who will remind you. Delight in being YOU- unique, wonderful, magnificent YOU! If you do not believe you are worthy then who will? Create the life you want. Creating is an action word, the Art of doing, moving. It is not a sitting back, idle, waiting for something to happen word. Move forward. Put your energy into living the life you have always imagined. Yes, it is possible, but it takes work. It takes motivation, a strong belief in yourself, For starters…begin setting goals for yourself. Talk about determination and a fair share of dreaming. Don’t let years them, dream about them. See yourself there. Be ready to go watching those around you get what they want in life. be happy. Choose to see the positive over the negative. Now is your time. Seek to live in abundance not lack. Want that beautiful life for yourself. Play by your rules for happiness; don’t Now is your time to be better than you used to be. get swamped with “you should do this or that”. Do what makes you happy and content. Say no to commitments With Joy, that suck the life out of you. Slow down your busy life. You have everything you need, reach inside of yourself. Stop working so much. Start playing more. Call in sick and play. (yes drop your kids at day care or get a sitter and go Very Simple. Than why can’t we do it? What stops us? What do we need to do to succeed at these two steps? Julie The Joy Ride * October 2011 Joy www.thejoysource.com 3 Quick! Light my fire, I have things to do! By Angelina James Okay ladies, let’s face it, we are busy women. We do so much for everyone and try to cram as much as we can into every waking moment. It’s exhausting. And at the end of the day (or the beginning), we should definitely be getting a good, strong earth shattering orgasm. One that curls our toes until we get a foot cramp. Don’t we deserve that? Yes, we do, but I know what you are thinking…who has the time and who feels sexy? First of all, I say make the time. Sex feels good. Hell, sex feels great! Or it should. If you are not having an orgasm, why should you do it otherwise? I remember having sex in my twenties and not thinking I deserved to have an orgasm too. I was giving away my woman power. It never felt great. Now I make sure I tell my partner that is my expectation. I want to enjoy sex too. And so should you. If you are married with small children, you definitely need that release of hot energy flowing through you. Don’t wait for the house to be quiet and for the children to be at a sleep over. Don’t wait for all the romance you had when you were dating…the candles, oils and lotions…or the foreplay and sweet words. Don’t get me wrong, I still want you to have all that, but reality is, a quick spark is just as good. 4 www.thejoysource.com All you need is five minutes. Kids are outside playing? Daddy and Mommy need to change the light bulb, be back in 5 minutes. Or put the television on, throw random snacks in front of the kids, run upstairs, lock the door and romp. Sometimes you might not even make it to the bed. Perfect. Let me repeat, all you need is five minutes. “My kids know not to come to our room on weekend mornings until we open our door,” says Jennifer, 36-yearold working mother of two small girls. “My husband and I are just as hot now as we were 12 years ago, now we just realize we have less intimate time and have to get down to business quickly.” If you find that it takes you longer, try something new- grab a vibrator and the release will be quick and intense. I guarantee it. Goddess Michelle from Athena’s Home Novelties (www.goddessmichelle.com) states, “Most women require foreplay to arrive at an orgasm during sex. A good vibrator can offer direct stimulation to just the right spot at just the right speed when you don’t have time to enjoy the journey!” My vibrator has been a handy tool for over 10 years. I give them to friends as gifts because once you can please yourself, you are good to go at any time. care for half the day to get back some sanity. Take care of your body. Exercise. If you are overweight and unhappy with your body, move into action. Do something about it. You owe it to yourself to feel good in every way. Tell your hubby he will get IT more if he helps OUT more. Are guys really that stupid not to know this? Yup. So tell him. And get on your knees and b*** him like a porn star. Don’t give this act up because you are married. So I challenge you to embrace your sexuality. Let it loosen you up and break the confines of your daily life. Let the passion transcend you into the extraordinary. Even for five minutes. Grab the jelly, a vibrator and your partner (or not) and have some fun. Make it quick. I know you have other things to do. Angelina James, married 12 years, mother of three boys, Hartford, CT. Now for the sexy part… I know you’re tired. Worn. Stressed. All reasons I hear from woman about not having hot sex. It’s true, who wants to get naked when we have been dealing with whiny kids and a messy house all day long? My advice? Hire a house cleaner. Put your kids in day The Joy Ride * October 2011 Massage – Just “BE” By Michelle Gallant, LCMT “Be Better Than You Used to Be.” For millennium, massage has been used to relieve pain and remove tension from the body and mind to restore health. Receiving therapeutic massage can also help you “Be Better Than You Used to Be.” By now, many of you have already experienced massage. Many believe receiving massage is a luxury, reserved only for those special occasions. This belief needs to be reframed. Your existence is a special occasion!! As times are changing, more and more people are choosing holistic approaches to health and commanding control of their own well-being. Just as we need to eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, and exercise on a regular basis, we also need quality time to just “BE” on a regular basis. Massage affords us the opportunity to do just that- to just BE. We spend so many of our waking hours DOING, we become disconnected from ourselves. When receiving therapeutic massage on a regular basis we are giving back to ourselves. We are creating an opportunity to receive, relax and allow. When we receive well intentioned touch the relaxation response takes place. Tissues within the body soften, creating a stronger flow of energy. As the body relaxes, the mind begins The Joy Ride * October 2011 to slow down and thoughts begin to clear…allowing us to drop deeper into relaxation and begin to connect with our own essence, our highest self. Receiving massage on a regular basis allows us to get to this place of peace and clarity. By releasing stagnant energies and blockages, not only is there a reduction of pain and tension in the body, there is also a creation of space. This is a grand benefit! As we become more accustomed to BEING in this level of consciousness, our ability to create becomes greater. As the body and mind release heavier, unharmonious energies, perceptions of the way things are begin to shift. When we give ourselves time to just BE we open the gates to transformation and an endless source of creative energy and joy! Michelle Gallant, LCMT has been in professional private practice in Salem, MA for seventeen years as a Nationally Certified Massage Therapist and Professional Kripalu Yoga Teacher. She can be reached at email@example.com or http://www.iahp.com/M_D_Gallant. www.thejoysource.com 5 Never Diet Again! Why will you never diet again? More precisely I should say, “Why You Never Have to Diet Again” because whether you do or not is up to you. That’s the good news, and it only gets better. deficiencies, digestive issues, mood swings, fatigue, binge eating, and hormonal imbalances. Unless you live off the grid, it’s hard to miss our dominant cultural perception of feminine beauty: youthful, sexy, and thin, a dangerously incomplete characterization of feminine beauty. Ultimately, it’s not only about what we know, it’s also about what we feel, what we believe, and how we perceive ourselves. To end the chronic dieting epidemic we can start with compassion. Consider that will power is not all it’s cracked up to be and give yourself a break. There is far more value in eating high quality, nutrient dense foods when you are truly hungry. There is also some value in eating what you love, even if it’s “bad for you”. Although there are too many diets today to mention, we all recognize the basic format: restrict, deny, skip or eradicate some food or food group. The immense list of diets is equaled in size to the market of magic pills, potions, and powders. This one decreases your appetite, this one amps up your metabolism, that one cleanses out your insides and releases retained water...it’s no Here are three powerful tips to wonder people are confused and help you stop dieting and start loving your relationship with food: very overwhelmed. at breakfast. The metabolic At some point in the last 40 years, • E benefit of breakfast is not an urchronic dieting became a lifeban legend! Giving your body style. The irony is that although food in the morning wakes up as a culture we started dieting to your metabolism and helps you lose weight and stay slim (mostly to feel satisfied throughout the to mimic those seemingly always day. happy jet-setting Hollywood celebrity types), in reality chronic • E at sitting. Eating is not meant dieting has only caused nutrient to be multi-tasked. We are de- 6 www.thejoysource.com signed to eat in a slow, relaxed state. Stress and speed signal the stress hormones (cortisol, insulin...) that inhibit your optimal metabolism. •E at what you love. A little, every day. Constantly restricting foods you love from your diet can lead to binge eating or over-eating. A little bit of a true treat can be more satisfying than a lot of a disappointing substitute. See what you can create when you slow down and eat with intention and joy! As a mind-body nutrition counselor, Andrea Cohen believes that a lifestyle of never-ending diets with unfulfilling results wears you down and depletes your energy. Find out more about how to develop a healthier relationship with food and positive body image at www.fullcirclefoodcoaching.com. Happ The Joy Ride * October 2011 Ask The OB/GYN? Q. Are there preventative tests I should take to optimize my health? A. There are basic screening tests that women should have at different intervals in their life. Women in their 20â€™s and early 30â€™s should get a yearly pelvic exam, pap test, and breast exams. Gonorrhea and Chlamydia testing should be considered in women who have had multiple partners or who have unexplained vaginal discharge or pelvic pain. A screening mammogram should be done once between the ages of 35 and 40 to set a baseline, then yearly mammograms are recommended starting at the age of 40. Thyroid screening should be considered for all women who are experiencing fatigue, unexplained weight gain, or hair loss. Women 40 and older should consider asking their physicians for a screening thyroid test with their yearly physical. piness The Joy Ride * October 2011 In addition, for those 35 and older, especially if experiencing fatigue, should consider asking their physician for a Vitamin D level. Vitamin D is an essential vitamin important for absorption of calcium, but it is also a very important anti-oxidant that helps prevent certain cancers and depression. Many women who have low levels have no symptoms at all, or could be experiencing fatigue, muscle and joint aches. While these are basic recommendations, any unusual symptoms, lumps, changes in appetite, weight gain or pain, should be discussed with your doctor. Dr. Julie McCullough is a board certified Gynecologist and is accepting new patients in her practice at North Shore Gynecology in Peabody, MA. At age 50, women should be getting their first screening colonoscopy to assess for precancerous polyps, which are easily treated if found early. Most women will also need a baseline bone density test at age 50, or when menopause is reached, and every 2 years to continue to assess for any signs of bone loss which can lead to hip fractures/spine fractures, and even loss of teeth. www.thejoysource.com 7 Are You Settling for Good Enough? A blog by Ginger Burr, a speaker from the Woman's Day in October. When you choose a doctor do you want the best or do you say, “What the heck, good enough is good enough?” Of course not! When you help your child with her homework and she tells you that 2+2=5, do you say, “Oh, Sweetie, that’s good enough?” I doubt it! Truth When you go out for dinner and order spaghetti and they bring you lentil soup, do you send it back or say that’s good enough? Chances are good you send it back. So, why do you get dressed every day in something that is just… well…good enough? Recently, I was shopping with a woman for the first time, and she tried a top on. As she looked in the mirror and assessed what she saw, I could feel her mind whirling. I asked her how she liked it, and she hesitated and then said, “I’m not sure I like the fabric but it fits so I think it’s good enough.” Oooops…I think not! That was her old MO, but I was there to help her 8 www.thejoysource.com move beyond that and never settle for less than great or fabulous or terrific – never, ever just good enough! She looked relieved (and maybe a tad skeptical or nervous) when I explained this to her. Up until then, good enough had been her default. She always felt thankful when she at least met that (low!) standard. But, that was why she had called me and so that was all about to change! What makes someone settle for “good enough?” A belief that this is the best she can do so she’d better grab it while she can before she has to settle for “not horrible” or worse! Continual frustration finding clothes/styles she likes or that fit properly…or, both. Lack of resources. (I’m not talking about having a limited budget.) Uncertainty as to where to shop to find what she likes and that is within her budget. Great finds can be found at K-Mart, Target or thrift stores, so money is not the issue most people think it is. Compromised self-confidence or low self-esteem (often from past The Joy Ride * October 2011 experiences with hurtful comments and unwanted advice). Lack of time. Some women are just so busy that this aspect of selfcare falls to the bottom of their priority list. The culprit is often identified as a past overheard conversation about them, a direct insult, or perhaps a backhanded compliment. The sad truth is that as long as these feelings prevail, your wardrobe will suffer, too. Becoming aware of the hold derogatory comments has on your psyche (and consequently your personal style) is the first step to moving past “good enough.” Lack of interest. Not every woman enjoys shopping (especially if she can’t easily find what she likes), and it is only recently that women have felt comfortable expressing The only solution to the issue of that preference. no time is to make time. But (and There is a solution to each of these there’s a big but), it is critical that situations and the pay off is a ward- you understand how to find the robe that screams fabulous! things that will make you happy. Consider these things the next When you do this you are much more likely to enjoy the experience time you shop: of shopping and then…surprise… Good enough is never the best you you often find the time. Either can do. And, no, it doesn’t always way you still have to shop from mean you have to spend more time to time, but without learning money, lose weight or drink from how to find the things you love to the fountain of youth. When you wear, you will continue to waste have the proper tools to help you a lot of time standing in front of make good choices, it gets easier to your closet hoping something understand how to pass up good new and wondrous will magically for great. appear and feeling despondent So many women stay stuck in a when it doesn’t! fashion rut hoping to find someIf you truly hate to shop you have thing new at the same old places. two choices…learn to do it as Branching out and trying someeffectively and efficiently as thing new can have exciting results possible or get someone to help you (and sometimes, yes, it just gives and streamline the experience. Of you a good chuckle!). course, the third choice is to keep In my home study program (www. doing what you are doing. whotaughtyouhowtodress.com) I Here’s the bottom line: We spend devote an entire chapter to hurttoo much of our life dressing – at ful comments and unwanted adleast once a day! You deserve to vice. Sadly, it is much needed since have this be a joyful (or at least so many women harbor feelings of peaceful!) experience. If it isn’t, you inadequacy related to their bodies. The Joy Ride * October 2011 are missing a delicious opportunity for self-expression and creativity. I cannot say this enough. This is not a hopeless situation for anyone. You CAN have a wardrobe that is way better than good enough. Yes, you can! Can I also tell you a secret…good enough is different for everyone! (One person’s good enough can be another person’s favorite outfit and vice versa.) It all has to do with what makes your heart sing. Once you know that, you will never settle for “good enough” again. At the 2011 Woman’s Day of Inspiration and Joy, Ginger Burr of Total Image Consultants offered a little guidance, encouragement, and TLC, during her talk “Look and Feel Great Every Day with These 10 Beauty Secrets.” For more info on Ginger Burr at www. totalimageconsultants.com. www.thejoysource.com 9 Dear family, I quit. Effective immediately, I am no longer the cook, laundress, shopper, housekeeper, chauffeur, landscaper, or resident problem-solver. Oh, I’m also not the banker or the ATM. I am, however, the instructor. Classes will begin tomorrow and seating is limited, so you should sign-up early. A cooking class will be conducted at five-thirty sharp. Bring your inquiring mind and appetite. A cook book will be available. On Saturday, I will offer two sessions--general housekeeping and laundry. Supplies will be provided. However, if you are attending the laundry session, please separate clothing into lights and darks and bring those with you. This class begins at nine a.m. in the basement. Housekeeping will commence at ten, once you have mastered washing machine settings and drying times. Rubber gloves are recommended for those who have delicate skin or have had expensive manicures recently. Other workshops, such as money-management, will be scheduled as needed and announcements will be posted. Don’t be late and get left out in the cold. Janet R. DeMarco, Wife, Mother, Person (not necessarily in that order) Linda Rettstatt is the author of nine women’s fiction and mainstream romance novels. Three of her books, including Finding Hope, have finaled for EPIC e-Book awards. Her tenth novel will be released by Champagne Books in March, 2012. When she’s not writing, Linda works for a non-profit social service agency and chases down her cat for a nail-clipping. (The cat usually wins.) Linda grew up in rural SW Pennsylvania, but now resides in even more rural NW Mississippi. To read excerpts and reviews of all of her books, visit her website at: www.lindarettstatt.com. Cover art by: Pat Evans Here is the link to the author’s page at Wings for Finding Hope: http://www.wingsepress.com/Author%20Pages/Author%20-%20Linda%20Rettstatt.htm 10 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 ~ Finding Hope ~ By Linda Rettstatt Janet DeMarco is having one of those days. She feels underappreciated, underestimated, and misunderstood. She accidentally resigns from her job and, when her husband finds it amusing, she hands in her resignation to her family, as well. Janet becomes a blonde, changes her name to Hope, and meets two people who help her realize the blessings in her life: Ricki, a young single mother, and Joy, a homeless woman close to Janet’s age. I held up my left hand to the construction crew boss approaching my desk while I shouted into the phone. “Teddy? Can you hear me? Where are you?” “I’m right here. Talk fast, I’m busy. Jan?” “Don’t pull that ‘you’re breaking up and I can’t hear you’ stuff, Teddy. You’ve had three calls from Mr. Dunbar about the permits for the work on his guest house. You have contracts waiting to be signed and two that have to be delivered. Where are you?” “Yeah, Jan. Uh, can you deliver those two contracts and call Dunbar back? Tell him I’m in a meeting, and I’ll call him first thing in the morning. Leave the other stuff with the mail on my desk. I’ll pick it up on my way home.” “Look, I was hired as the bookkeeper, and I have the payroll to get ready. I’m not your secretary or your gofer.” In the background and before he could respond, I heard, “And they’re off!” “Oh, for…You’re at the track? I’m going nuts here running your business, and you’re at the track? For the love of…” “Relax, Jan. You’re starting to sound like my wife. I’ll come in later and sign whatever needs signing. Just leave it all on my desk. I gotta go.” The dial tone hummed. I slammed down the receiver and narrowed my eyes on the crew boss leaning over the counter. “What do you need?” “I’m goin’ home. Been feelin’ lousy all day. I think it’s the flu.” “Great. Who’s running the crew on the Phillips job?” “I left Mack in charge.” He turned and sneezed loudly, then looked back at me through glazed eyes. “I probably won’t be in for a few days. I’ll have my wife come by to get my check on Friday.” He grabbed tissues from the box on my desk and left the office. I glanced at the clock--two-thirty. I still hadn’t had lunch, and I had a bank deposit to make. I found the signed contracts and looked at the addresses. One The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 11 stop was on the way to the bank, the other across town. I got the deposit ready and set it aside with both contracts. I fielded two more complaint calls, tempted to forward them to Teddy’s cell phone at the track. I’ve worked for DeMarco Construction for the past ten years. Teodoro ‘Teddy’ DeMarco is my husband Anthony’s cousin. With an associate degree in business, I agreed to work for Teddy three days a week as a bookkeeper. Somehow this grew into full-time and then some, as I became secretary, receptionist, file clerk, delivery person and barista. If I choose to use the bathroom, I’m also the cleaning lady. I’d like to say this day was unusual, but it’s pretty much this way all the time. I pulled up the contracts on my computer and filled in the blanks. The door opened and our delivery driver walked in. He stood over my desk, slack-jawed, his dull gray eyes fixed on my chest. If I weren’t sadly flattered by this attention, I’d have been pissed. “What can I do for you, Bobby?” “I can’t work tomorrow. Court date,” he said matter-of-factly. I remembered. He was arrested during a domestic dispute. A chill slithered down my back. “Did you tell Teddy so he can get a replacement?” “I’m telling you so you can tell him.” His nubby fingers toyed with the name plate on the counter that defined this space as belonging to me, Janet DeMarco. The monogrammed gold on dark wood had been a conciliatory gift from Teddy for one of the many things he’d done to piss me off. I made a mental note to disinfect it later. “I’ll be back on Friday. Ain’t no way they’re gonna bust me. Just a slap on the fingers.” I fixed my gaze on the computer monitor. “Fine. I’ll let Teddy know.” He continued to leer down at me. I stood and pulled myself up to my full five foot six, staring him in the eye. “Is there something else I need to tell Teddy?” “Nah. That’s all.” He winked at me before he turned and sauntered out of the office. My stomach twisted. I looked back at the computer. I’ve had it. I’m sick of working with men. I’m tired of being taken advantage of; tired of running Teddy’s company while he plays at the track and meets his girlfriend for nooners. I’m through with chasing him down to get his signature and deliver paperwork. My mind disengaged as my hands took over. My fingers flew across the keyboard and I watched the words form on the monitor. 12 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 Dear Teddy, I resign. No, I quit. I’ve resigned myself to too much already. I quit keeping your business afloat while you play the horses and… well, you know where you are most of the time. I’m done. This job has become much more than I ever wanted. I’ll do this week’s payroll, and then you’ll need to find someone else. Yours truly, Janet P.S. I’m giving myself one month’s severance. The phone rang. Mack asked me to dispatch Bobby with a load of drywall. “I’ll try to catch him, but I’m not making any promises.” I hung up, hit the print button on the computer, and then paged Bobby. After giving him the order, I grabbed the contracts and Teddy’s mail, put them on his desk and shut down the computer. If I left right away, I could get to the bank and still drop off the signed contracts before five o’clock. I’m turning forty in a few months. I don’t need this crap. From the car, I called home and my daughter, Gabriella, answered. “Gabby, would you turn on the oven to three-fifty and when the light goes out, put the pan of lasagna inside? I’ll be home by six.” “Sure, Mom. You remember that I need a ride to school for play practice at six-thirty, right?” “Ask your brother if he can take you. And turn the oven to four hundred so you can eat before you leave.” “Michael isn’t home. He said he wouldn’t be here for dinner. So, you’ll take me, right Mom?” I heaved a loud sigh and slammed on the brakes to avoid the driver to my right who decided he wanted my lane too. “Uh, okay. Forget the lasagna. I’ll pick up something on the way home. Bye, honey.” I delivered the contracts and deposited the receipts in the bank. I spied a Chinese restaurant and swung into the lot. With four meals in two bags, I raced through the back door and dropped my purse on a chair, pulled plates from the cupboard and yelled, “Dinner’s ready.” Anthony wrinkled his nose when he entered the kitchen. “I thought we were having lasagna. What’s that smell?” “Change of menu. Tonight’s Chinese; tomorrow’s lasagna,” I said, dumping rice into a bowl and unwrapping egg rolls. Gabby bounded into the kitchen and filled her plate. “Mom, can we leave The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 13 a few minutes early and pick Megan up on the way? I told her we’d give her a ride.” “I wish you wouldn’t make promises like that without asking me first,” I said more sharply than I intended. Gabby frowned at me. “Gee, Mom. What’s the big deal? It’s practically on the way.” She hurriedly wolfed down her dinner. I pushed my plate away, intending to heat up something when I got back. I needed time to breathe. As I stood, Anthony asked, “What’s wrong?” “I’ll eat when I get back. I don’t want to swallow dinner whole.” He narrowed his eyes at Gabby, pointing with his fork. “You shouldn’t expect your mother to run you around everywhere when she’s worked all day.” “It’s okay, Anthony. It’s play practice, and I promised I’d take her. I thought I’d be home earlier, but your cousin…” I stopped, not wanting to put my frustrations on my husband. It wasn’t his fault. He never wanted me to go to work in the first place. “Gabby, I’m ready when you are.” “Just have to brush my teeth. I’ll be right back,” she said, running from the kitchen. “You spoil the kids, Jan. You shouldn’t be expected to haul them around everywhere. Where’s Michael, anyway?” Anthony asked as he pushed rice onto his fork with an egg roll. “He’s out with friends.” I bit my tongue to avoid asking why he didn’t offer to take Gabby to her practice. Gabby--her nickname was no accident--kept up a running monologue about her day at school and about the play while I drove the six blocks to pick up Megan and then back across town to the high school. Gabby’s a good kid. She keeps up her grades and belongs to the drama club. This is a small sacrifice to support her efforts. “What time will you be finished?” I asked as the girls jumped out of the car. “Around nine. Should I call when we’re done?” “Yes, and don’t go anywhere else. I’ll pick you both up right here. If I don’t hear from you by nine-fifteen, know that I’ll come looking.” Gabby rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay. I’ll call. Thanks, Mom.” I chose the long route home, taking advantage of the quiet. As I came 14 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 through the back door, I heard Anthony laughing in the living room. I walked into the room in time to hear him say, “Oh, come on, Teddy. Of course it’s a joke.” He waved me over. “She just came in. Here, she’ll tell you herself.” He handed me the phone. “It’s Teddy. He says you quit your job, and he read me the letter.” He gasped for breath. “I gotta hand it to you, Jan. And you gave yourself severance pay? That was a great joke. Here, tell him yourself.” I held the phone limply, my mouth hanging open as I stared at my husband. Then I realized I must have printed out the letter and left it on Teddy’s desk with the contracts. I raised the receiver to my ear. “Teddy?” He was laughing just as heartily as my husband. “Jan, you got me good, especially with the severance pay. For a minute there, I thought I’d have to learn to brew coffee and type.” “Excuse me?” Rage swelled within me. “Why do you think it’s so funny?” My husband’s grin faded, and he picked up the newspaper, avoiding my eyes. “Come on, Jan,” Teddy said. “You can’t be serious. Look, we’ll talk about a raise tomorrow. How’s that?” I didn’t respond at first. Heat crept up my neck and across my face. How dare they laugh at the idea that I would quit. How dare Teddy offer me more money and think that’ll fix everything. “We’ll talk tomorrow, all right.” I disconnected the call and plopped the phone back into the cradle. Anthony lowered the newspaper. “You…you were kidding, right?” “What if I’m not? What if I do quit?” “Hey, I never wanted you to work in the first place. It’s fine by me. You’ve got enough to keep you busy around here.” His gaze fixed back on the newspaper. I hesitated, disbelieving what I’d just heard. “Are you suggesting I’ve neglected my duties around here?” “No, of course not.” He looked at me with a smile in his eyes, and I could see he was entertained by this whole thing. “You don’t take me seriously, do you?” The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 15 Matins I used to hate mornings. The dawn over the city— the smog morphing this ritual into an unholy cinnamon stick dream, smutty and flush over the concrete blocks of Los Angeles. But I’m leaning into this morning, out over the rooted, lattice fences at the end of the City of Peace— By Jennifer Jean at the end of shalom, of Salem. This poem was published in Jennifer’s first poetry collection, In the War): I see not only a reflection in the Bay below, www.fishwifetales.com My poetry collection FISHWIFE can be accessed at www.wschap6.wordpress.com as web-based text, audio, PDF, e-book, CD & print edition. but an adult. A new bird—the sun, begins to arch over wide fine water— it moves through some good blue slate. All this newborn light seems a stage set for matins or arias. And I’m cold, shifting from foot to foot, spot lit at the end of the vigil hours. It is the first hour of All Saints Day in Salem, and I’m thinking, maybe I can choose an unhaunted life. Choose to parent. Maybe, decide to forgive. Yes, a vigil always ends with a cock crow. There’s a gull here, a scavenger wheeling, opening, maybe taking in or crying out my grief. It lifts as this morning leans into winter, and winter leans into spring. 16 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 Renewal Burnout vs. Stress Do you dread your work shift? View work as a chore? Or feel overwhelmed and unable to meet your work demands? If so, you may be heading straight for burnout. Burnout happens over time and it can be devastating. The job you once loved is now a chore and you’ve become exhausted, cynical and frustrated. Despite your best attempts, you don’t know how to change it. Once you experience burnout, it is hard to go back and not feel that way. That is why it is so important to pay attention to how you’re feeling about your job- to determine if you are beyond the normal stress level so you don’t minimize negative reactions. It’s important to know that burnout is not the same as stress. When you are stressed, you can still be optimistic. You can use healthy coping skills to deal with your stress and wake up a less tense person. In burnout, your outlook is not bright nor is your energy high; there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Excessive amounts of stress can lead to burnout, but unlike stress, where you can reduce your stress level overnight, once you are burnt out, that is where you stay. How Could This Happen? If you are burnt out and think “How could have happened to me? What is wrong with me?” Take the focus The Joy Ride * October 2011 off yourself for a moment. It may not be about you. Did you know that “the structure of the job and work organization ultimately is a stronger determinant of the incidence of burnout than the individual’s personality makeup?” (Cary Cherniss, Job Stress in the Human Services) Whew! And Maslach and Leiter in The Truth about Burnout provide this potential reason for burnout: “when you are working in situations of chronic imbalance in which the job demands more than you can give and provides less than you need.” Also burnout doesn’t have to be the result of a high stress job. Mark Gorkin in his book Practicing Safe Stress describes burnout this way, “Equally dangerous (to burnout) is chronic boredom and consistently feeling that you’re under utilized or undervalued at work or lacking the opportunity to stretch your mind-body muscles in a meaningful way. Such a state gradually leads to smoldering anger, depression, or burnout just as out-of-control overwork does.” So although your work place has much to do with your burnout, you have a piece too. Are you always the person who takes on extra work? Staying late, helping out co-workers and not taking your much needed vacation time? Start by saying no more often and more importantly creating a balance between work and personal life. When you notice you’re often unhappy at work, exhausted both physically and emotionally, and feel drained and empty, it’s time to reevaluate your work life. The trick is to catch yourself before you go into full burnout. As www.thejoysource.com 17 “Burnout is so powerfully transformative that it appears to be a signal not of failure, but of a challenge to create a new way of life. In fact, burnout is probably the best thing that ever happened to us.” Dr. Dina Glouberman, The Joy of Burnout you progress into no longer finding fun or satisfaction in your job, you must STOP and evaluate! In High Octane Women, Dr. Carter asks you to start with a weekend away of complete rest and rejuvenation. If you wake up on Monday tired and dreading your day, you are heading to burnout. Then try two weeks away- still feeling tired and dreading your shift? You, my friend, are burnt out and need to make some lifestyle changes. If you are living a fun exciting life out of work, then that feeling can carry over and carry you through your job, especially if you are stuck in a less than desirable employment situation. After trying the above two steps and you still feel no ZEST for your job, then it’s definitely time to: If you might be heading for burnout, or are taking up residence there, here are some simple suggestions: Re-evaluate your position or occupation • Is this the right job for you? Renew your commitment to your job 1. Take some new classes in your field. • The right profession? 2. Freshen up your office. • Is there something much deeper going on for you? 3. Read books related to your job interests and gather with like minded individuals. • Maybe this was once a great fit but for whatever reason, it is no longer a great fit. 4. Think about advancement or relocation. • Are you working with someone whose attitude sours the entire department? Or is that sour person you? Re-Energize yourself and your life 1. Take yoga, kick boxing or a cooking class; find your hobby or something you are passionate about. 18 2. Energize yourself so you are filled with positive energy. Give back to yourself all that you give out in a day’s work. www.thejoysource.com “Burnout is so powerfully transformative that it appears to be a signal not of failure, but of a challenge to create a new way of life. In fact, burnout is probably the best thing that ever happened to us.” A new direction. A new way of life. All yours for the taking. Grab it and move forward. Julie McGrath leads workshops on Stress, Burnout and Resiliency. For further details on how to bring the professional seminars to your workplace or for scheduled trainings, visit http:// www.thejoysource.com. And remember, although burnout carries with it a negative vibe, Dr. Dina Glouberman in her book, The Joy of Burnout describes burnout in this unique way: The Joy Ride * October 2011 Adventure IS Possible! By Meghan Gehan Who am I kidding? There are some days when going food shopping a mile down the street with my two kids feels overwhelming. So when I met Donna Wren, who takes trans-Atlantic trips to foreign lands with her two daughters, I was inspired. She makes it sound so easy. And I thought, well, maybe it can be? quartet in a completely different direction. After years of traveling as a family, Donna has learned not to be married to the plan. And today provides a perfect example of ‘learning to let go.’ Halfway to Paris, their TGV bullet train makes an unexpected stop after an ‘interaction with a member of the public.’ Donna and her family use the pit stop to buy sandwiches in town, unaware the train is departing with their backpacks safely under their seats. They are stuck midway to their foreign destination with a basic knowledge of the language and no belongings. As her eight-year-old begins hyperIt is seven o’clock in the morning ventilating, Donna suppresses her and Donna Wren wakes thousands own panic and assesses the situof miles away from the rooftop ation, quickly inventorying what garden of her Boston home. She they have, need and possible solupauses before opening her eyes, tions. Only after they find another taking a moment to remember train, arriving just moments after what country she’s in and where to the original one and find their bags go for breakfast. Will it be croisdoes the experience become a valusants, scones, muesli or Hafraable life lesson- that even if you grautur (oatmeal)? The choices are take the wrong train or are stuck limited due to her picky eaters, but with no place to go, keep your head Donna did her research and knows on straight, ‘roll with it’ and it will a grocery store is around the corner. be okay. While she runs out for food, her husband will rally the girls and an Donna’s belief that adventure is adventure will commence within an possible, even with children, has hour. They may follow the agenda brought her young family to SingaDonna plotted weeks before; or a pore, Norway, Canada, Alaska, and contingency will arise, leading the last summer on a two week trip to Take action- climb the Eiffel Tower. The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 19 Zurich, Paris, London and Iceland. Her daughters have weathered the startling chill on top the Eiffel Tower, visited the tombs of their English royalty ancestors, heard the acoustics of St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, and bathed in the geothermal spa at the Blue Lagoon in Reykjavik (which is horrendous on the hair). They’ve met distant Viking relatives and sat in an overseas emergency room as their mother’s broken finger was set. All before their sixth and ninth birthdays. And what’s even more amazing about Donna and her daughters is that they make this worldwide traveling sound so easy. Where many of us struggle to get out the door for a simple road trip, Donna packs a backpack with a few changes of clothes, grabs her passport and goes through airport security with two small hands in hers. And when you hear her story and how she does it, it is easy. The first step is making the decision and the next is arriving at your destination. ChunnelTrain If your train leaves without you, roll with it. And for those moments in the middle when you may be wondering how to reach your dream of visiting the Eiffel Tower or a destination miles from your home, here are some of Donna’s tips for traveling with children (or even without): 1. Set your expectations on what you want to see or do, but stay within possible limits. Dragging your traveling partners (even the adult ones) through the entire Louvre may not be realistic, but you may be able to negotiate a time frame or find a playground to visit afterward. 2. Find ways to establish routine and tradition. For example, Donna’s daughters have set activities for the pre-flight wait to keep them distracted and entertained. Seek the experienceStonehenge at dawn. 20 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 Find the simple pleasures in life. 3. Do your research- find hotels near playgrounds or parks, locate the nearest grocery stores and identify places children can let off steam at the end of the day. And think through every activity so you can plan ahead- if you will need booster seats, horse riding helmets, etc. 4. Keep your eyes open to what is possible. Often it is the nuances of the trip- feeding sparrows French pastries by hand or visiting a candy shop straight out of Willy Wonka- that create life long memories. 5. You donâ€™t need all that stuff. Minimize the toiletries (you can always buy toothpaste locally), wash clothes in the hotel sink, and have your children carry their own backpacks. 6. Spend the extra money when you can make special memories. For example, Stonehenge offers rare opportunities to visit the site at dawn. The additional price was offset by Donnaâ€™s pleasure that her daughters were having better access to history and a richer experience. 7. Connect the experience to family or personal history so you can bring the adventure to life. Donna and her girls visited the London home where their great grandmother was married, using an old family picture as a guide. 8. And always remember- you will get rained on, it will be colder/warmer than you anticipated and someone may get hurt or sick. But none of these things should ever stop you. Find time to unwind - the Blue Lagoon near Reykjavik, Iceland. The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 21 22 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 When was the last time you wrote a letter? You know, went to the store, picked out beautiful stationary, a nice pen and sat down in thought and wrote a letter. Letters seem to be a thing of the past. Will our kids even know where on the envelope the stamp goes? I mourn the loss of letters, birthday cards, and creative party invitations. Convenience is evite and email but the feeling is very different. Truth is, I still write letters, I still buy stationary and send my thoughts to my friends overseas and close by. I insist my children do the same. They love the whole process, including a trip to the post office to pick out the stamp and send the letter in the mailbox. The process that is becoming obsolete. “Deliberate letter composition is a way to process our own experiences. The immediacy of email robs us of the giddy excitement that used to come from finally getting a glimpse of a long awaited envelope, stuffed with possibility, in the mailbox.” (Kate Bolick-Psychology Today) A friend of mine just met the man of her dreams. After years of searching, she finally found her soul mate. When she asked him to write her a love letter, he did. And she gave me permission to share it with you. I hope it inspires you to write a love letter, or better yet ask the love of your life to write one to you. Letters to express love, congratulations, sympathy, cheer. Letters handwritten by you. Doesn’t matter what kind of letter. Just write one. “A loved one’s handwriting is a unique feature that captures his or her spirit” (Kate Bolick-Psychology Today) The Joy Ride * October 2011 Love www.thejoysource.com 23 Challenge Yourself to be Politically Active By Georgianna Melendez I recognize that there is not enough time in the day to do even the things we feel we NEED to do. That said, I am going to challenge you to include one more thing. I have often stated that we need to be active participants in our own lives. We should CHOOSE our direction and not let life drag us through it. If we only focus on ourselves, that is not good. It is healthy to care of yourself, but not to the exclusion of other responsibilities, like family and work. I am throwing in one element of self-care that would not normally make it to the list. Be active in your community. If you don’t have time to volunteer somewhere and don’t 24 www.thejoysource.com have money to give, there are plenty of things you can do from your own home and on your own time. effectively if they do not know what you want. You tell them by voting, by calling and by writing letters. Be politically active. The consequence of not being politically active is accepting the default choice. A couple of things anyone can do: Be politically active. If not, you accept the default choice of others. Their choices directly affect your family and your community whether you want it to or not. Take care of yourself. 1. Know what election is coming up: Municipal, State, Federal; 2. Know who the candidates are (you don’t have to be an expert, but keep your eyes and ears open… have conversations); 3. Know what you think about the issues (like health care, education, taxes , etc.); I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours. Georgianna Melendez who inspires us with her blogs at Georgianna Says Just Do You www.Georgiannasaysjustdoyou.wordpress.com 4. Vote and if you can, encourage others to vote. Whether or not you think about it much, elections happen and people take office. They work, supposedly on your behalf. They cannot do so The Joy Ride * October 2011 How Wonderful… How wonderful the feeling of a woman who is full, who is content, who feels worthy and who makes the right choices. How wonderful the feeling of a woman who makes the right decisions, who believes in her strengths, her capabilities and doesn’t spend much time trying to correct her weaknesses. How wonderful the feeling of a woman who capitalizes on her gifts, who doesn’t let the past define her, who doesn’t try to be better than anyone else in her life. How wonderful the feeling of a woman who is creating her life exactly how she wants it to be, a woman who sets boundaries for herself, who can disappoint another to be true to her self. How wonderful the feeling of a woman who knows the feeling of going from lack to abundance; a strong, confident woman, who has the feeling of contentment with her self. How wonderful the feeling of a woman who is fully aware and insightful, spending time in quiet reflection on how far she’s come and where she hopes to be. How wonderful the feeling of a woman who sets goals and dreams for herself, always looking forward reaching, not dwelling on the past, only looking back long enough to know she never wants to return there. Being better than you used to be requires not dwelling in the past, but reflecting long enough to marvel at how much you’ve grown. Being better than you used to be is about making positive choices each and every day. Choices that affect your happiness, nourish your being and bring you joy. Being better than you used to be is about igniting your spirit in such a way that you feel fully alive and vibrant. Be This Woman. Be Better Than You Used To Be. The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 25 One Woman’s Life, Intreped Tandem by Cathy Pastva I remember the exact moment the fear kicked in. My husband and I were meeting with a reporter from the local paper to talk about our cross-country bike trip when she asked him “So, once you finish this trip, what’s your next big bicycle adventure?” He answered, “Amsterdam to Istanbul.” Just like that. Hadn’t even begun our first big bicycling adventure, and he was talking like it’s already a done deal. Shocked at his overconfidence which overshadowed my uncertainty, I made eye signals only to him conveying my incredulity. That was the moment I felt the fear of what we were about to do. Taking a year off we left the next month, June 2007, on our Big Adventure to pedal a tandem road bike across America. Riding a tandem speaks to both of our strengths. We knew instinctively he’d be the captain in the front seat and in control of the steering/braking/shifting/pedaling, with me as stoker, the rear admiral, primarily pedaling. Some situations call for directional orders from behind, my suggestions met with either sudden deafness, a sudden change in steering/braking/shifting/pedaling with no warning, or a sudden vocalization which in turn, is met with sudden deafness. Riding separate bikes would mean steering/braking/shifting/pedaling, while negotiating traffic, no joy in that for me. 26 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 When, at last, I catch up releasing my death grip on the handle bars, he is ready to roll. As stoker, what I lack in skill is compensated for by my one true attribute, endurance, more necessary a trait than I’d anticipated. We pulled a small trailer to haul our gear: tent, sleeping bags, air mattresses, bike parts, cook stove, fuel bottles, pot, utensils; coffee, oatmeal, peanut butter, granola, mac & cheese, rice & sauce, chili mac, lasagna. Boil water, pour it in, instant food. During our three years of planning, there was no end to my visions of calamity. I imagined being chased by wild animals, grizzlies in particular, teeth bearing down on our sinewy calves, one of us frantically pedaling, the other trying to kick them away, our bear-sized can of pepper spray landing on the asphalt. Sometimes I feared the human element, and worried that we may be targets on the open road for distant shooters with ill intent, bored in the afternoon heat, scoring two for one. Then there was Mother Nature. Wind, storms, hail, lightning. Worse still, a tornado, catching us with no shelter. And the bugs. Stinging, blood sucking, biting, crawling creatures haunting my dreams. Spiders, ants and snakes slithering into my sleeping bag. Our middle-aged bodies felt strong. Their feedback would determine our pace, accepting there would be pain. The road would teach us other painful lessons. The challenge of my husband’s daily anger over things he couldn’t control. Extreme highs when spirits soared, awful frustrations when they didn’t. The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 27 The highs: deciding together how to tackle the next hill, accepting that there are no mountains that can’t be walked. Learning that pride goes first on the road. And frustrations: weather – heavy fog, damp mornings, terrible headwinds terrain – pot-holed roads with no shoulders road construction – bridge out, 9 mile detour, backtracking uphill from where we had just come shouting matches - whose stupid idea was it to ride a bike cross-country, silenced by the mention of Amsterdam to Instanbul. More aggravations: the camera broke, a tree limb fell in a wind storm just missing my head, mornings of sunshine, turning to rain drizzle, clearing, pouring, drizzle, on and off all day. Rain gear on/rain gear off/rain gear hot/rain gear stowed. More highs: Meeting people every day, interested and encouraging. One difficult morning, struggling to get going, we’re recognized hundreds of miles from home as the couple in the newspaper article. “Aren’t you the ones riding cross-country? Good luck!” And lows: We barely smile at this kind stranger, instead, licking our emotional wounds feeling defeated by so many things we cannot control. Highs and lows indeed. These daily moods resurface for months, bodies performing, heads not in the ride. Steering/braking/shifting/pedaling through New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Canada, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota. After 1200 miles, in Luxembourg, Wisconsin, saying good-bye to the last stay with friends, starting the long stretch ahead to the West with no familiar faces to look for, no familiar faces looking for us. Meeting the locals in every town, still couldn’t shake the vulnerability of aloneness. 28 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 Homesickness became our silent companion. The emotional challenge is toughest. Halfway across the prairie lands of North Dakota, mid-August and 2,500 miles into the Big Adventure, we meet our greatest fear. Relentless headwinds knock us to our knees, test our shifting spirits. Halfway across North Dakota, he turns the bike around, we sit behind a hay bale out of the wind, me, figuring we’re done, heading home. Halfway across North Dakota, 2,500 miles into the Big Adventure, my husband, his patience depleted, his tolerance spent seeing no purpose whatsoever in continuing, asks me “Are you sure you really want to do this ride?” How to answer? This ride, the toughest thing we’ve done. This ride, taxing us in ways we never expected. This ride, exuberating and rich, if he would just see it. This ride, wearing me down from the constant need to prop us up. But, end it now and go home to what? To the life we know so well. His desire for the comfort of home was palpable. My answer, “Yes, I want to do this ride but I can no longer ask it of you.” Sitting in silence, looking out across the vast plains in the middle of nowhere the wind, the fields, the road, the only witnesses my husband releases a long sigh, “OK, we’ve always been best as a team. That will be my purpose for doing this.” Tears fill my eyes. He’d found a reason to continue the daily torture of pedaling into winds he could not control. Prayers for tailwinds, changed to prayers for strength, changed to prayers for guidance, changed to prayers of thanks. I have never loved my husband more than in that moment. Surprising North Dakota, a turning point in the Big Adventure, made everything else easier to bear. The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 29 Dream Just when we thought we couldn’t pedal one more mile, we rode another twelve, heading for the distant West Coast. Passed the ranchlands of eastern Montana, we entered foothills of the rugged Rockies, crossing them at Glacier National Park where my husband declared, “This is what I’ve been waiting for!” Mountains stayed with us the rest of the way. Steering/braking/shifting/pedaling through Montana, Idaho, Oregon, California. New challenges greet us: weather – snow in the peaks of the Cascades in Oregon, 26 degree temps, we ride anyway; terrain – a 17% grade hill to climb to the hostel for the night, we ride anyway; road construction – one lane of rolling hills and hairpin turns, rubbing elbows with traffic, we ride anyway; each other – food poisoning in Montana the night before crossing the Rockies, we ride anyway. No longer afraid of things we cannot control. The Big Adventure ends on the Golden Gate Bridge after steering/braking/shifting/pedaling 5,000 miles, grateful, proud, exhilarated, a test of strength and courage. Back home on the East Coast returning to previous lives, but not previous selves, ever-affected by the Big Adventure. One day I ask about Amsterdam to Instanbul, surprised by my husband’s response. Married over 20 years and still, surprises. “The next adventure is on a tandem mountain bike following the Continental Divide from Canada to Mexico.” Good lord. We leave next summer, June 2012. A story in verse written by Cathy H. Pastva for The Joy Source Email: firstname.lastname@example.org 30 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 “When I turn my face away from my longing because of my fear of being the fool, I must work to cover the cracks in my own resolve to abandon the heat of my desire. But my soul is too aligned with life to give up. Late at night when I am too weary to push away the longing, she comes looking for me, begging me to simply be with her and my fear of her. I can hear her, a small insistent voice asking me to remember that desire lived brings the ecstasy of falling more deeply in love with my own life every day. And in the moment of this remembering, no risk seems too great.” The Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer from THE INVITATION by Oriah (c)1999. Published by HarperONE, San Francisco. All rights reserved. Presented with permission of the author. www.oriah.org “I wish I’d known from the beginning that I was born a strong woman. What a difference it would have made! I wish I’d known that I was born a courageous woman; I’ve spent so much of my life cowering. How many conversations would I not only have started but finished if I had known I possessed a warrior’s heart? I wish I’d known that I’d been born to take on the world; I wouldn’t have run from it for so long, but run to it with open arms.” Sarah Ban Breathnach, Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self (Grand Central Publishing) Inspire The Joy Ride * October 2011 www.thejoysource.com 31 A Woman’s Day of Inspiration and Joy 2011 at the Peabody Marriott in Peabody Massachusetts. What an inspiring day! Ladies filled the room to listen to the talented speakers with the theme of “Be Better than you used to be”. 32 www.thejoysource.com Julie McGrath, founder of The Joy Source inspired the crowd in her high energy presentation of “Creating Your Best Life”. The Joy Ride * October 2011 Jennifer Jean, Poet and Professor gave a heartwarming and courageous account of her life; shedding light on her past of darkness with the power of forgiveness and hope. Ginger Burr, Fashion Stylist of Total Image Consultants gave us some excellent fashion tips that will keep us looking our best! The Joy Ride * October 2011 Andrea Cohen, M.Ed., certified Food Psychology Coach spoke about â€œWhy you will never diet againâ€?. www.thejoysource.com 33 Giving of yourself must be balanced with giving to yourself. â€œIf Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her eighteenth birthday, you can get out of bed.â€? E. Jean Carroll 34 www.thejoysource.com The Joy Ride * October 2011 Do you have a business you are proud of and would like the world to see it? Please contact me and you can advertise here too! We’re New and We Need You! Neal’s Yard Remedies is a new-to-theU.S. company offering luxurious, certified organic beauty, health and wellbeing products that have been award-winners in England for 30 years. 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Contact Barbara Ausiello for more information on becoming a consultant and to learn more about this awesome company and their amazing products! www.thejoysource.com 35 “When sleeping women wake, mountains move” Chinese proverb “The beautiful thing about the human condition is that what looks like the end of the road never is. It is only the end of the road we know.” (The Joy of Burnout) Dr. D. Glouberman ©2011 Joy Source. The Joy Ride is copyrighted property of The Joy Source. Any reproduction of the materials contained within this publication is prohibited by law. Photos, quotes and articles have been approved for use by the Joy Source and The Joy Ride by their contributors.