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Wednesday, March 19, 2014
The Journal
OPINION
www.journalpress.com
VIRGINIA VIEWPOINTS
Saying you’re sorry is a sign of weakness For many people it’s just about the hardest thing there is to do. And I don’t mean some grueling test of physical or mental endurance. It’s often reflected in the words, “I am sorry,” but for some, they could be the hardest three words in the world to say. Apologizing, David S. Kerr particularly in our culture, doesn’t come easily. Just look at the number of corporate executives, government officials, and military leaders, who seemingly can’t utter the words. Rather than saying, I’m sorry I made a mistake, we’ve come up with a long list of silly sounding almost apologies. “Mistakes were made,” is one of the most notorious, as is, “I am responsible.” But, none says I’m sorry. Western culture has created some-
thing of a prejudice against apologizing. One culprit is our lawsuit happy legal system. It has created a fear that an apology for an action, whether it’s a business mistake, a government project gone wrong, or an accident, will leave the one apologizing open to all sorts of lawsuits. There is also the tough frontier culture which still shapes the American psyche. Rugged men in the old west didn’t apologize. John Wayne once said in a movie, “Never apologize for anything, it’s a sign of weakness.” Many men and women, particularly of the Greatest Generation, weren’t given to apologies. My father was amongst the most decent and kind individuals I have ever known, but “I am sorry,” was not a phrase that I ever recall him saying. Asian cultures view apologies in an entirely different light. And we could learn a lesson from them. In 2001 the U.S.S. Greenville, a nuclear attack submarine operating off Japan, surfaced without properly checking the
Letters to the Editor Land use has once again bubbled to the forefront as a central topic of discussion in our fair town. Soon the citizens of Colonial Beach will be given the opportunity to voice their opinions on what has proven an intractable issue that immediately drives passions. Dividing the town and the town council into their ideological bunkers. Just mentioning boardwalk properties or Eleanor Park and each camp will retreat into their well-worn positions as easily as slipping on those old sneakers that you should have thrown away a long time ago. Once again, we will hear: We can’t sell it, it’s historic! Let’s offer it as a public/private enterprise or lease option. We lack the moral authority to dispose of it. Wait until the real estate market improves. It will be better when slots come back. Let’s organize a fund raising effort of volunteers to provide funding to restore and save said buildings. Apply for a grant or the price is too low. All of these arguments will be made by our well intentioned neighbors, in many cases, when applied to a single property, is correct. No one should question the motives or the sincerity of those that offer these objections, which is usually given voice by the same three on the council. This division was again on display at the last town council meeting with Mr. Kern’s and Mr. Blunt’s call for selling surplus town owned properties and Ms. Park’s statement to save Eleanor Park. It is ironic that the reason we lack
I.M.H.O.
the resources to provide our Fire Department more support, as Ms. Brubaker would like to see or increase our tax base without raising real estate taxes, which Mr. Chiarello told me he wanted to do, when he knocked on my door two years ago and asked if I would sign his petition or to increase our staff to manage a public/private partnership to develop a long term lease program as Ms. Goforth advocates; is our unsustainable high inventory of public held properties and their refusal, so far, to find a path to yes. Mr. Mayor, call the vote! Let’s move the measure. I stand with Mr. Blunt. It is time we started to look towards the future by doing what is best for our town. We already know what the policies of the past will bring. More conversations of consolidation, level funding for our critical departments and deferred maintenance. Selling surplus properties is an economic multiplier! By selecting a path to yes, we will see increased properties values throughout our town, will reduce our maintenance costs and we will see an increase in our tax base. Providing the additional revenues we need save our historic buildings; provide adequate funding for our school system; put an end to mods on campus; provide more funding for our first responders, tourism, our nonexistent capital improvement budget and by all means, put an end to “we do not do maintenance in Colonial Beach.” Charles Green Colonial Beach
area for other ships. The result was the sinking of Japanese fishing trawler full of trainees. Curiously the Japanese weren’t all that interested in compensation, but rather, were pleased that the Captain presented himself to authorities in Japan and apologized. It was a sad affair; there was no happy ending, but the apology meant a lot to the Japanese. Other Asian cultures, particularly China and Korea, have a similar view of the apology. Shortly after Toyota had recall after recall, with its stock value tumbling, and its public credibility at a low ebb, the president of the company apologized. It wasn’t a stock apology. It didn’t appear to be something crafted by the marketing department. Rather it was heartfelt, remorseful, and also seemed a turning point in the company’s fortunes. He was sorry; and he was going to put things right. Wouldn’t it have been remarkable had the President of BP apologized, not a qualified culpability, but an outright “I am sorry,” for the Gulf Oil To the Editor: On a recent evening, we were eating at a local restaurant when our server told us that they had just lost water pressure and were locking the doors. They had no idea what had happened. When we returned home, we had two telephone messages, both from the Town of Colonial Beach. One told us that there had been a water-line break in town, which was being repaired, and that was why there was no water pressure. The second message from the Town told us that the water-line break had been repaired and that pressure would be returning within the hour. The reason we received those two messages from the Town is that we are on the Town’s free telephone-notification list. All one has to do to get on that list is to phone the Town offices at (804) 224-7181 and ask to be added to the list. There is no charge for the service. And one will then be notified, not only of water-line breaks, but of days when Town offices will be closed, of changes in trash-pickup schedules, of school closings, and so on. Mike Looney Colonial Beach
(in my humble opinion)
Travelled to F’brg & Dahlgren this weekend and realized again how ignorant or misinformed VDOT is being with the intersection at Owens. Hitting the red light at Sealston while on route 3 I was amazed how short a time we had to wait for a car to turn eastbound from Fletcher’s Chapel Rd. onto route 3 and for the light to turn green and all traffic move quickly back to the 55 mph speed limit. Yes, route 3 is 55mph.
This is EXACTLY what is needed at the Owens intersection. Not additional turn lanes. Not a roundabout. Not increased speed limits. Just a stoplight, with on demand for access from the two side roads. Why should a vehicle have to cross 4 or more lanes to make a turn, without a signal light when we are having trouble with 2 lanes and no light? Wise up VDOT and route 206 travelers. It is going to be nightmare.
Spill? The same is true for the leaders of the American car companies and debt-laden banks who should have apologized for running their companies so badly. It’s much the same in government. In Western Europe when something bad happens in a department, the cabinet minister, and sometimes even the Prime Minister, offer an apology and tender their resignation. And maybe that’s the point, an apology, isn’t just an act of contrition, it’s also about taking responsibility for your actions. We’re not conditioned that way, but most of us might find that when we make a mistake, saying “I’m sorry” often turns out to be a liberating experience. I am not suggesting we start apologizing for everything. That would be carrying it too far, but from time to time, when we have fallen short or hurt someone, we should give it try. —Reach David Kerr at kerr@journalpress.com To the Editor: On Friday, March 14 I had the privilege of attending the ribbon cutting ceremony at the new Caroline County Family YMCA near Ladysmith, VA. In attendance was special guest Sen. Mark Warner, plus other county officials. Supervisor Jim Howard of King George was there, as were staff from the KGFamily Y. The crowd of 150 or so were enthusiastic listeners to the various speakers, but the key message from all of them was the importance of “family.” This could be the staff family of the Y or the administrative family of Caroline county, but, most importantly it is the essence of the community family that runs through this project. Ten years after the initial meeting to present the idea of a county YMCA, the dream became a reality. As a community family, all will have a place to meet together, get healthy together and learn together. The plan is to incorporate other branches of the county family tree into programs and facilities the Y has to offer. It will work. It happened here in King George. Lori Deem King George
Did you know: Water expands by about 9% as it freezes. Is this why we are bigger in the winter?
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