Second Supper, Issue 114 by Joel Kuennen

FREE VOL. 8 ISSUE 114

May 1, 2008

The way you move.

Hybrids - Bikes - Trains - Buses - Skateboards

305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith

mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

Managing Editor/Art Director: Joel Kuennen joel.kuennen@secondsupper.com

Copy Editor: Briana Rupel

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

Student Editor: Ben Clark

benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com

Photo Editor: Kelly Morrison

kelly.morrison@secondsupper.com

Contributers:

LA CROSSE Tim Bavlnka Adam Bissen Scott Brown Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Brett Emerson Emily Faeth Erich Boldt

Bob Treu Joel Kuennen Kelly Morrison Maria Pint Briana Rupel Noah Singer Matt Wolf WINONA Ingrid Alm

Sales Associate: Blake Auler-Murphy 608-797-6370 blake.auler-murphy@secondsupper.com 5,000 Second Suppers can be found weekly in over 300 locations in La Crosse, WI Winona,MN and Decorah, IA

Exercise your wit Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

www.secondsupper.com 2

The way you move. Table - of - Contents Page 6 The Cult of Prius & The New Riders of the Purple Age Page 7 Critical Mass Page 8 Get on the bus? Page 10 Reverend Horton Heat Live Page 11 High-Speed Trains...Coming Eventually! Cover Design by Joel Kuennen

May 1, 2008

the top

Constellations 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Orion Cassiopeia Taurus Draco Leo Ursa Major Ursa Minor

Second Supper’s back on the social networking bandwagon this week, with an all-new chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will know the person from the week before, and so it shall continue. You see? We really are all connected. If anyone knows Kevin Bacon, drop us a line... NAME & AGE: Andy Mueller, 26

Guitar brands 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Social Networking

Tastiest pies

Guild Tayler Gretsch Gibson PRS Ibanez Fender

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Most fun ways to get from here to there 1. Parkour 2. Horseback 3. Piggyback 4. Gondola in the water 5. Gondola in the air 6. Zigo carrier bicycle 7. Skateboard Amino acids 1. Adenine 2. Thymine 3. Cytosine 4. Guanine 5. Leucine 6. Tryptophan 7. Asparagine

Strawberry Rhubarb Banana Cream Apple Pumpkin Cherry Lemon Merangue Pudgy

Most anticipated future inventions 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Flying car "IT" (South Park) Hoverboard Teleporter X-Ray goggles cellularphonewristwatch toothbrushespressomachine digitalreadertapemeasure videocameraPod Nanochip that knows where you are and how much you owe

Letters to the Editor (FINALLY!) #37 La Crosse ought to have a roller derby team. Madison, Milwaukee and the Fox Cities have all started leagues. There's no home for that girl who is competative, quirky and hell-on-wheels within a two hour radius. It's a damn shame. Anyone who feels the same can contact me at last_great_cause@hotmail.com and we'll see if anything can be done to remedy this problem. - Amanda

Re: Let's check some bitches! No offense, chances are you can kick my ass.

This is Jay Grays THE street musician of La Crosse. I just recently read something you wrote in the second supper Vol. 8 issue 113...Competent

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

street musicians. I would first like to start by saying that I don't really play any Tom Petty nor Journey, I've maybe played a lick of Tom Petty maybe just a lick...STP I have played and your probably right I slaughter it, I suck at playing other peoples music, I don't know what it is. Anyway I would like to say that I AM NOT A FUCKING Jukebox so other peoples music is exactly on my set list. I generally play my own music, music that I have written. I would like to continue by saying I am not a gutter punk and I'm pretty sure that there are no real gutter punks here in LaCrosse, I've been here and there and I know what a gutter punk looks and acts like, I am no gutter punk, I'm just a nineteen year old musician who is sick of people trying to tell me that I have to play other peoples music well before anyone wants to hear my music. Another thing is...I dont care if I dont get any money, as long as someone stops and listens. I don't know, all I'm trying to say is that if you ever took the time to listen to some of my own tunes maybe you would dig it, but I'm

CURRENT JOB: Bartender at the Thirsty Turtle, Instigator DREAM JOB: Insurance adjuster COVETED SUPERPOWER: Unlimited wishes DREAM VACATION: Jupiter FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Hungry Peddler FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: It's a three-way tie between Bodega, Yesterdays and Popcorn 3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERT ISLAND: Full Metal Jacket, Fear & Loathing, Waking Life TELL US A JOKE: Here's one for the kids: How many bananas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A bunch. CITY OR COUNTRY? Country not going to challenge you on that because i believe that you have to have a compete bias opinion to the whole thing...anyway good luck with your writing and hey I'm not that upset about this write...bad publicity is better that no publicity. Peace love and whatever else works. -Jay Grays

#1 PET PEEVE: People tapping their glasses or cans on the bar 3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: Hell's Angels by Hunter S. Thompson Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien 3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: Jimi Hendrix - Axis Bold as Love anything by Johnny Cash anything by The Ramones IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Harp WHAT’S IN YOUR POCKETS? Phone, wallet, white lighter, black lighter, sunglasses, book of matches, passport, notepad, Mother's Day present, $37 in ones, two handfuls of change, trying to put together games down at the park, please let me know. I'd be interested in playing as soon as this friday even. Thanks for your time and for writing a great article about how this town needs to grow past white/drunkville. - Brad Carr

Re:

Sorry buddy you actually seem cool.That tirade was intended for the dude who sang "Zombie," by The Cranberries everyday, all day last summer.

Friday! It's on!

Ultimate! Hey! I read your 36 suggestions for La Crosse and I am constantly trying to find Ultimate Frisbee games around town. I'm a UW-L student and I can attest to the fact that many of my friends are also interested. If you're actually

Got a question? Comment? Assertion? Tell us about it! editor@secondsupper.com

Do this...

When Pigs Fly

WHAT: Hiking with Mississippi Valley Conservancy

Speeding Autos Escape Law by Steamboat

WHERE: Snow Bottom State Natural Area in Grant County WHEN: Saturday, May 3

Spring is in the air, and what better way to celebrate the new season than with a nice, leisurely hike through beautiful Snow Bottom State Natural Area! The land is owned by Helen and David MacGregor, who, along with MVC Conservation Director George Howe will be your host for a great day of walking and observing all of the natural beauty this fine state has to offer. As you're walking, be sure to keep an eye out for all of the new spring flowers blooming for the first time in months! Bring a light picnic lunch to enjoy once the hike has come to an end. For more information, email mrich@MississippiValleyConservancy.org.

Thursday, July 16, 1908 La Crosse Leader Press

A steamboat as an aid to escape from the minions of the law was all that saved two chauffeurs, employed by multi-millionaire Frederick Weyerhauser's pleasure party, from being arraigned in county court here on a charge of speeding. At an estimated speed of from 30-50 miles-per-hour the two autos whizzed down Main Street at 10 o'clock this morning, blowing wild-toned horns and creating a great commotion on the street as they tore toward the levee. Businessmen rushed out of their stores and offices, thinking a cyclone or some other dire catastrophe was coming, while dozens of pedestrians and teams hurriedly made for sidewalks and gutters to get out of the way. The autos were filled with men, women, and children, none of whom seemed to regard the speed of their autos as anything unusual. A wave of indignation spread up and down the street, and several businessmen voiced the opinion that the careless drivers should be arrested. By the time the authorities heard of it, however, the pleasure steamer F. Weyerhauser, which brought the party to La Crosse, was well on its way down river. The boat pulled out two minutes after the autos rolled onto the steamer following their wild flight through the business district. True Tales of La Crosse: Unusual Stories from Old Newspapers of La Crosse, Wisconsin Compiled and edited by Douglas Connell (La Crosse, Wis. : D. Connell), 1994.

May 1, 2008

The Cult of Prius

By Adam Bissen

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com It’s easy to love a Toyota Prius, and it’s hard to find one for sale. After immersing myself in local Prius culture, I doubt either of these attributes was left to chance. In La Crosse, Steve Low’s Midwest Toyota is the only Prius dealership between Madison and Rochester. People come in nearly every day to test drive America’s best-selling hybrid, but the staff can’t honor all requests: It has a hard enough time keeping the car in stock. Like most dealerships across the country, if a customer puts in an order for a Prius at Low’s, he is told it will take between eight and twelve weeks before the car arrives, depending on vehicle specifications. The Prius dominates the American market, selling more vehicles than all other hybrids combined. Over 185,000 Americans purchased a Prius in 2007, but who knows how many more were shut out of the club. “My phone is buzzing all the time with ‘I’m looking for a Prius. How can I get a Prius? When are they available?’” said Ryan Lorenz, a sales associate at Midwest Toyota, who said he regularly fields calls from Minneapolis and Chicago. To get to the bottom of this Prius business, I figured it was my journalistic obligation to get out and drive one. I phoned Steve Low last Friday to explain my cause and to schedule a test drive. He said I was in luck: There were two Priuses (Pria?) on the lot, but he couldn’t guarantee they’d still be there on Monday. Sure enough, when I returned the next business day there was only one Prius for sale — and someone was taking it for a test drive. Still, Lorenz was kind enough to seat me in a car that had already been sold to point out the bells and whistles. The bells started with the “key” that is kept in your pocket, unlocks the doors as you approach and cues up the engine without needing an ignition. The whistles include double glove boxes, a touch-screen control panel, silent engine and a rear-view video camera. All in all, it was a pretty fresh-looking interior, and it impressed Rex Mosley, who came all the way from Warrens, Wis., to test drive the car. In these times of record gas prices, Mosley said he was most interested in the Prius’ famed fuel economy, “but of course I like the creature

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

benefits that go along with it, too.” Unfortunately, another prospective customer had come into Low’s while Mosley was driving, and I was bumped to the bottom of the test-drive line. That’s fair — a buyer is a buyer — but I found it interesting I could stand around a car lot for an hour and never see a Prius unoccupied. I wasn’t quite sure how long this hybrid train would last, so I elected to leave Midwest Toyota and phone up one of my friends whose parents owned a Prius. It was awfully kind of his mother to take me out for a ride. As Bernice Lansing rode around town, she explained the graphs on the Prius’ large central computer monitor. The vehicle’s fuel economy was displayed digitally and prominently, with miles per gallon figures moving up and down like a stock ticker.A complex flow chart of sorts dominates the center of the screen illustrating the power output of the electric engine, the gasoline engine and the battery. It’s as if Toyota engineers wanted to turn driving a Prius into a fuel economy game. “Look at that, 93 miles per gallon,” said Lansing, marveling at the console during one particularly fuel efficient moment. While the Prius performs about as well as any other car, there are definite skills to maximizing its fuel efficiency. “Drive like you don’t have any brakes,” is a mantra on the many Prius blogs. Since the car runs on the electric engine at low speeds and flips on the gas when it needs to accelerate, drivers are encouraged to drive slow and to coast. When driven perfectly, Priuses can regularly get more than 60 mpg, although most drivers report a performance of around 45 mpg. Lansing said she and her husband purchased a Prius in 2006 because they wanted to model environmentally strong practices as they drive. It’s interesting to reflect one’s life philosophy in a choice of vehicles, but so far they’ve been nothing but happy with their Prius. “It was so easy to have this car become an extension of myself,” she said. This, in a nutshell, is the Prius identity. Owners not only enjoy driving the car for their own sake — for the neat “creature comforts” and the money and ozone saved on gas — but they also look at it as something greater than a car. Hybridcars.com calls the Prius’ distinctive body type “a middle-finger-on-wheels aimed at Hummers, Suburbans, Escalades, and the like.” But the true genius of the Prius is that that self-satisfaction doesn’t fade even as the driver gets used to the car. Everything about the Prius — from its body to its controls to its sound — is designed to be distinct from the run-of-the-pump sedan. In a lot of ways, that fuel economy gauge elicits the same sort of satisfaction Apple users get when they see that iconic “bite” logo or that Grateful Dead fans feel when they put a sticker on their bumper: This ceaseless hype sure hasn’t hurt Toyota’s bottom line. They have a virtual lock on the hybrid market, the most promising line in a slumping industry, and yet it’s been unable to satisfy demand on its most popular brand for the past four years. Midwest Toyota will generally receive between five and twenty Priuses a month, sell them all and wait for the new shipment to arrive. That scarcity just keeps the buzz building, so act fast if you want grab the last Prius on the lot and join the hottest cargo cult of the environmental era.

New Riders of the Purple Age

By Bob Treu Doubtless you’ve seen them, the two of them tooling through traffic on a tandem bike they call their “limo.” Or maybe you’ve met them on the bike trail somewhere between La Crosse and Trempealeau. They’re always dressed in purple, which makes them a little hard to miss. And, wouldn’t you know, they live in a purple house. They’re Obbie and RoZ (pronounced ‘row zee,’ with a touch of accent on the zee). They’re counterculture, they’re activists, and they have a story to tell. It’s a road story, and Americans love that. Best of all, they’re about to take their story on the road in a carefully wrought presentation they call Transportation Liberation.They might have called it How to be Carfree without taking the e out of Carefree. Obbie and RoZ are the names they constructed for themselves out of the detritus of earlier lives, a part of deciding who they wanted to be. RoZ was born in central Kansas, Obbie in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, but if ever a couple was destined to meet, it was they. Obbie had been on the road for a while, first on his own and then as part of “an intentional” community. Obbie met the group in Florida, where they were about to move westward. He offered to help them and ended up spending thirteen years with them, sticking with them through a number of moves. But eventually he

needed something new, so he started out on his own again. Meanwhile Roz had moved to Kansas City and was helping bring a show called Native Forest Network to town.That was in 1993, the same time Obbie was traveling in an old step van toward Philadelphia,where a job was waiting for him. He decided to stop off at Kansas City to participate in a drum circle. Since he had a bit of time on his hands, he wandered into the Forest Network show to see what that was about. He happened to be wearing his purple shirt. And wouldn’t you know, RoZ was wearing purple too. They spent the next three glorious days together, sharing their concerns about the environment, about American culture. They discovered they like sharing things with each other. So maybe this isn’t just a road story; it’s a love story too. As Obbie continued his journey to Philadelphia, they managed to stay in touch by phone. It took RoZ about a week to decide she needed to be where he was. She convinced the Native Forest Network people to hire her on. She was willing to cook, clean up, anything that would take her east. When the show finally reached Washington, D. C., Obbie came down from Philadelphia to see her. Not long after that, she quit the show and joined him in Philadelphia. They’ve been together since. Being carefree came naturally to RoZ and Obbie. It was a matter of attitude, a lifestyle that fit as nicely as purple clothing. Becoming Carfree took a lot of small decisions and it took time. Obbie had biked a lot, mostly as a necessary expression of his poverty. Sometimes he biked to jobs. Sometimes he had a car or van of some kind. On the other hand, RoZ hadn’t biked that much before she hooked up with her man. Along the way she did several jobs that required driving, and all in all she enjoyed being behind the wheel. Besides, biking wasn’t always fun. Than there was the major bike accident in 1994, which resulted in a broken pelvis and her almost deciding that was the end of her biking. But with a lot of encouragement from Obbie, she eventually decided to try it again. It was 2001 before the made the final

see PURPLE RIDERS, page 12

Critical Mass

By Emily Faeth

emily.faeth@secondsupper.com

1101 La Crosse St. On County Highway OA just 15 minutes from La Crosse and 5 minutes from Valley View Mall and Hwy. 33.

Daily Specials Monday

Drink Specials

Tuesday

All Day Thursday-Sunday $1.75 Cans $1.25 Taps $1.75 Rail Mixers

Pizza & Pitcher $9.00 $1.25 1/3 lb Burgers

Wednesday

Bucket of Beers $9.00

Food Specials

Thursday - 10  wings Friday - Free Fries with $.25 Wings Sandwich,Free Wings 3-5 Happy Hour Saturday - 12" Homemade Mon-Fri, 3-6 $1.25 Taps, $1.75 Cans Pizzas $5.00, Free Fries with Sandwich $.25 off mixers Thursday

I arrived at Riverside Park last Friday around 5:20 p.m. for the monthly Critical Mass bike ride. I was beginning to think the ride had been canceled due to the rain that threatened to fall, but before long, I was approached by a smiling young man on a bike. I asked if he was with Critical Mass. He assented and introduced himself as Kevin Hundt. Kevin echoed my concerns that other regular participants were unlikely to show up, mainly due to a war protest that many of the UWLa Crosse Progressives were participating in. After a few minutes, however, we were joined by three other riders. As we began our journey out of Riverside Park and up State Street, I asked Kevin how he would define Critical Mass. “It means something different to everyone,” he said. “For some, it’s about bike rights. Other people do it in support of the environment.” There are endless reasons to participate in Critical Mass, Kevin told me, and while the monthly bike ride is viewed by many as a form of protest, most participants choose to view it instead simply as a celebration. We soon came to a red light, and decided to join the traffic heading south on Third Street. We turned right and picked up speed, attempting to keep pace with the cars now surrounding us. Sitting on my bicycle in the middle of the street waiting for yet another red light, I felt strangely disoriented. It occurred to me that I had never experienced this particular perspective before: I felt oddly exposed and vulnerable as I stared up at the buildings above me and around at the vehicles hemming me in on all sides. I didn’t have long to dwell on this strange feeling, though, as the light changed and we were swept up yet again in the traffic. The cold air whipping past us froze my ears as we sped down Third Street, but the traffic thinned considerably after we passed the Cass Street Bridge. The smell of yeast from the brewery surrounded us now; my fellow riders expressed their disgust at the strong odor. We turned around and headed north down Fourth Street and as we entered heavy traffic yet again, Kevin reminded us to stick close together. “[Critical Mass is] a lot safer when there are more people,” he explained. “We’ve taken West Avenue before, and we’ve rode on La Crosse Street, but if we tried that now, we’d probably be killed.” His face told me that this was no exaggeration.

We continued north toward Cass Street, and quickly turned right, noting the looks of surprise and annoyance on the faces of the drivers around us. Giant SUVs dwarfed the five of us and my senses were on overdrive as I struggled to remain aware of the vehicles speeding dangerously by just inches away from me. As we made our way up Cass Street toward the bluffs, several young men strolling along the sidewalk waved and shouted “Hello!” as we passed.“When you’re using a bike as transportation, you get to actively participate in the community,” observed Kevin matter-offactly. We soon crossed West Avenue and entered the mansion district. At this point, traffic became clogged behind us and several drivers honked their horns angrily at our non-motorized parade. “Get out of the road!” shouted one man. We did our best to ignore the commotion and instead continued our journey, commenting on the beauty of the large houses lining the street. “When you’re in your car, it’s like you are in a space totally separate from the environment around you,” said Kevin. “When you’re traveling with a bike, you’re exposed to everything, you’re a part of it.” At 16th Street, we signaled that we were going to make a left turn.“Get out of the road!” the angry driver again shouted, “You’re breaking the law!” In fact, according to the City of La Crosse’s Web site, “bicycles are considered vehicles and must obey most of the traffic laws.” It is actually illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalks, and bicyclists have the right to share the road with motor vehicles, provided riders obey stop signs and properly signal their turns. Moments later, another man pulled up next to us in his brand-new SUV. Apparently he had taken issue with the number of people in our caravan, but Kevin politely reminded him that as long as we were no more than two abreast as we traveled down the street, we were within our rights. As we decided where to go next, we rode through campus, a decidedly more bicyclefriendly area that that which we had just traveled through. We decided to zig-zag our way back downtown, always making sure our hand signals were obvious to the other vehicles on the road. I wondered aloud if the majority of drivers understood what the right- and leftturn hand signals meant. We were soon back downtown and decided to end our ride at Jules'. We all agreed we’d participate the following month, and said our goodbyes. I was winded: while our pace had been relatively leisurely for the last several blocks, my heart was still hammering in response to the danger I had just experienced. Critical Mass means something different for everyone. For some, it’s a political statement. For others, it’s an annoying obstacle they are confronted with on their nightly drive home from work. But for me, last Friday’s bike ride reminded me of how much closer we are to our environment when we actually get out and enjoy it. Critical Mass can be found at 5:30, the last Friday of every month at State St. and Riverside Park.

May 1, 2008

By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Years ago, the intersection of West and Jackson left me without a car. For three years, I lived in this fair city without one. Though I wasn’t the walkabout freak I am now, being unmotorized was far from the disaster I dreaded it to be. Barring disability, a person can easily get around this town on a bike, even on foot. Once I was forced to acknowledge this fact and readjust to my pre-16-year-old-modes of travel, I grew to like the freedom from all the obligations that come with owning a car. Even now, if I can get away with not driving my car, I won’t. Still, there are two reasons why I couldn’t – and haven’t – achieved total independence from local transit. One is a universal issue; the other is specific to La Crosse’s setup. First, it’s very difficult to go on a full grocery shopping bender without a vehicle to take everything home. For any distance beyond a block or so, walking or biking isn’t much of an option for such trips. Back then, I heavily relied upon my friends and their vehicles to ward off starvation. The other matter at hand wasn’t so readily fixed. The La Crosse area is very segregated in regards to its commercial districts. Neither the mall area nor the growing south side is close to the majority of the city’s residential areas, and in comparison there’s very little in between. It takes a unique stripe of cat that is willing to walk, or even bike, from mainland La Crosse to either part of town. Like many, I was not of that stripe. Owing to my student ID, however, I was able to ride the bus for free. So for a few years, that was how I made it to work – though when I had closing shifts, it wasn’t how I would get home. It was a good enough scheme for a while, schedule conflicts notwithstanding. I didn’t pay a dime, avoided car insurance, never worried about vehicle breakdowns and discovered that the bus is a great place to hook up desperate and amorous mothers with your friends’ phone numbers – which I of course did. Since the days of my own mass transit adventures, La Crosse’s Mass Transit Unit has expanded its service. It now runs six full-time bus routes, with four additional buses covering the mall area, Onalaska and La Crescent. In a quick conversation with MTU’s Transit Manager, Keith

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

Carlson, I was informed that the future of mass transit is very secure. Presumably owing to the increase in gas prices, the service has seen a growing increase in both riders and revenue. These profits balance the certain increase in the bus line’s expenses, a dynamic which Carlson admitted is a “double-edged sword.” During our discussion, Carlson cited a 2007 report from the American Public Transportation Association which professed the advantages of mass transit. According to this report, riders can save $1,400 a year on the cost of gas alone by riding the bus. After car insurance premiums, maintenance bills, and car buying costs are factored in, that average jumps up to $7,600. In addition, this report states that public transportation in the United States saves an average of 1.4 billion gallons of gas per year – which boils down to 4 million gallons a day. But despite this level of conservation and the increasing importance of public transit, there remains a bottom line which dictates the extent of MTU’s service. When I asked him about possibly extending the running times of the bus routes to accommodate late-night and weekend riders, his response was cautious. “Our service is pretty appropriate for demand,” he said. “About 20 years ago, we used to run weekday routes until midnight, but because of funding issues we had to cut down.” Current routes may not work for third shifters, he conceded. The future of the area’s mass transit may bring some further changes, as the county has begun preliminary discussions into expanding service to West Salem’s Lakeview Industrial Park, an area currently covered by the county's Shared Ride taxi service. Currently, there are no definite plans, but it’s obvious that buses are going to get big business as gas prices get worse. Riding the bus may not always be an available option, especially during the night or on weekends. Still, it’s certainly worth looking into as an alternative to driving, especially to places where it’s too far to walk or bike. Considering the staggering expenses of fuel, insurance, and repair, cars are becoming more trouble than they’re worth. It will be necessary for us to find ways out of using them, whenever it is possible and reasonable. The bus is one way.

Chances are, Spring is not the only thing that has sprung!

DVD, Video, Clothing, Novelties, Gifts, Lingerie, Tobacco Shop

Downtown Book & Video 72 E Third St. 507-453-9031

Intimate Treasures 310 4th St. Downtown 608-782-3287

Downtown Book & Video 220 SW First Ave 507-252-1997

bar & grill

Get on the bus?

$1 Burgers Mondays & Tuesdays 4 PM - 8 PM

Earth to Humanity: "Come on already!"

By Ben Clark

ben.clark@secondsupper.com Hi, everybody! Tired of paying obscene amounts of money at the gas pump everyday and griping about how that money could have been spent on something better, like hookers? Well, have I got news for you! While much of the world has had its eyes completely focused on petroleum and other fossil fuels, some real go-getters have been putting forth a lot of time and energy to come up with something different. Welcome to the world of alternative fuel sources! We’ve all heard the common problems and complaints with fossil fuel sources: They’re non-renewable, they’re major pollutants, they’re expensive, coal isn’t as sexy as it once was, etc. So with all of these major faults brought to our attention, it’s really no surprise that alternative fuels are starting to make a name for themselves. So hop on into our magic car that runs on unicorn giggles! We’re off to the exciting world of alternative fuels! Our first stop is in the land of hot gas, specifically, hydrogen. The design of hydrogen fuel cells are very similar to the Double A batteries you’re using to power that sweet Nintendo DS you’ve been playing all day. Fuel cells are basically a closed circuit, in which in which you have two major players: hydrogen and oxygen. The hydrogen is pumped into one side, while oxygen is pumped into the other. On the side in which hydrogen is present, it reacts with a platinum catalyst, which causes the hydrogen to split into positive ions (protons) and negative ions (electrons). A membrane in the middle of the fuel cell only allows the protons to pass through to the other side, which forces the electrons to travel through an external circuit. This creates a negatively charged gradient, and an electric current is formed. When both the protons and electrons meet again on the other side, they react to form harmless carbon dioxide and water as the final byproducts of the reaction. Pretty slick, huh? But say you’re pretty leery of hydrogen. After all, the Hindenburg was filled with hydrogen, and look what happened to it! Well, don’t you worry, because now it’s time to visit our next stop: the township of biodiesel. Biodiesel has become the latest craze in groups of environment-concerned citizens. As

you can guess from the name, biodiesel is fuel made from the remains of plants and plant oils, and as Dr. Livingston would tell you, there are plenty of plants out there. Biodiesel comes from plant oils or fats (for example, the excess grease from your friendly McDonald's restaurant), and is mixed with sodium hydroxide and methanol to form fatty acid methyl ester (FAME) and glycerol, with 1 part of glycerol forming for every 10 parts of FAME. Once FAME is produced, it is then ready to be used in any diesel engine on the market, though currently, manufacturers are recommending their customers to use approximately 15 percent FAME mixed with ordinary mineral diesel. However, the future is looking bright for FAME users, as major petroleum companies are starting to look towards the future of biodiesel. In the same vein as biodiesel, ethanol is becoming another major alternative fuel source. While we’re starting to see E10 and E20 tanks (10 percent and 20 percent ethanol/gasoline, respectively), countries like Brazil have already started implementing E85 and E100 stations for wide-spread commercial use. Ethanol, which can be easily made from the fermentation of plant material (mainly corn in the US or sugar cane in countries like Brazil), is a clean-burning fuel source and has a lot of potential in replacing the rampant gasoline consumption seen in the states. Ethanol does have its share of problems, though. Its chemical nature makes it extremely conductive to electricity, which can short out fuel sensors in older cars and has been seen to wear down some of the rubber linings on fuel tanks in cars made before the 1980s. Despite its shortcomings, ethanol has a very promising future ahead of itself. For the last stop on our tour, we’ve come to my favorite type of alternative fuel: liquid nitrogen! The liquid nitrogen stored in a vehicle is exposed to the natural heat of the engine compartment.When liquid nitrogen is exposed to this ambient heat it immediately sublimates into nitrogen gas, which can be controlled to power turbines and pistons. With liquid nitrogen propulsion there are no harmful emissions, and the amount of time it takes to refill a tank would simply be a matter of minutes. The biggest downside, however, is that liquid nitrogen can only be kept under extreme cold and could be potentially dangerous in an accident (highly compressed liquid nitrogen + idiot in car = bad news bears). Well, gang, that’s going to do her for trip into the world of alternative fuels. Remember, the next time you’re waiting in line for Harry “Hummer” Idiot to fill up his 1,000-gallon tank at the station; remember to think about the future of alternative fuels. Trust me. They’ll be much more pleasant thoughts than imagining what you would do to Mr. Idiot in a room with no cameras and baseball bat.

Don't tell anyone, but...

By Maria Pint

maria.pint@secondsupper.com I feel horrible lying to you this whole time La Crosse-Onalaska area, plus my nose is growing like crazy. So I’m just going to tell it to you straight for the first time in a long time and I’m going to ask you not to judge me…or turn me in to the police. OK here goes: I have a fake I.D. My “birthday” is 9-12-1983 and yes, that makes me “24,” I realize this. And yes, it is preposterous that I am trying to pull off 24, but come on, I’m mature for my age anyway. In all seriousness, I realize this is very illegal and shit can actually go down if a police officer catches you with one. Apparently they don’t like when people are walking around with multiple identities these days, as if I would be a terrorist threat or going to steal someone’s identity. I actually have no idea what the real consequences are, but I want to say it’s something along the lines of life in prison or the death penalty. So I’m not so sure that writing about it in this paper is such a great idea, but it’s just been killing me not telling you all. So if the feds ask, Maria Pint is a pseudonym and I’m only kidding about my alternate identity anyway (wink!). First of all, let me say that bouncers are either dumb or don’t care. My old fake — yes, I’ve had two — looked pretty similar to me, and the height and weight were pretty spot on. The only problem with that one was the fact that it expired in my possession. I was back to 19 for a month or so when, all of a sudden, a girl I knew just offered me her fake since she turned 21 recently; I know, I have awesome luck sometimes. So now I’m blonde, yeah. Again, the height and weight are pretty good but, come on, I have pretty solid brown hair. Sadly enough, when I got it, I did seriously consider dying my hair; I’m very committed to my new identity. Luckily, I didn’t do anything drastic before trying it out this weekend though because it worked like a charm. I don’t even know why I was nervous, like I said, bouncers are either

dumb or pissy at the world. So there I was, standing in a bar in downtown La Crosse and I felt waaaaay cool. We had old guys buying us drinks from across the bar and boys were asking us to dance left and right; oh man it was a ball. I went downtown with 35 dollars (obviously no debit card since that would have a different name on it) and came back with nine. I’ve heard horror stories of fortunes lost downtown so I was pretty pleased with myself for coming back with any bills at all. The best part about the night however, came at the end. Previously, when I had gone downtown as a different girl, we had taken the Safe Ride home — well with my new identity I wanted to walk home; I’m a little more into fitness as this new girl apparently. Now when I say “best part about the night” in this context, I mean that I was a complete idiot and could have been raped and murdered, but it gave me a good story to tell. Why could I have been raped and murdered? Well I was ready to walk home and my friends weren’t, so the independent identity I was taking on that night just told me to go for it; I walked home alone. Rape, murder, Amber Alert, doom, the list of possible outcomes goes on, but did I think about that at 1:30 a.m.? No. I did start to ponder it however, right around State and Fifth. At that point in the walk, I said to myself “Shit, why did you leave the bar alone you dummy?!” So I started to freak out a little, plus my stiletto was really pissing me off at that time. I bent over to fix my high heel and a guy walked by me which gave me a great idea, which also could have ended in rape or doom. I yelled after the poor guy, “Excuse me! Are you a nice boy?” He chuckled, which should have made me nervous, but since he told me he was indeed a “nice boy” I asked him to walk me to the corner my house is on. We had a nice little chat and I was telling him all about the bars and how I'm only 19, another great idea if I do say so myself. All of a sudden, I faceplanted hardcore. It was the damn high heels and Long Island Iced Teas! It must have looked like I got tackled by an invisible rapist or something because I flew to the ground hard. Needless to say, he laughed at me, but at that point I was very close to home and was glad to be alive. See, here’s the problem with me revealing all of this to you: Not only did I put in print that I’m breaking several federal laws, but now all of the rapists in La Crosse know I will willingly follow them if they just tell me they’re “nice boys”. I’m so screwed. Let’s just all forget I told you all of this and pretend that I wrote about how I hate April Showers. That’s not illegal.

May 1, 2008

ok, so my subs really aren't gourmet and we're not french either. my subs just taste a little better, that's all! I wanted to call it jimmy john's tasty sandwiches, but my mom told me to stick with gourmet. She thinks whatever I do is gourmet, but i don't think either of us knows what it means. so let's stick with tasty!

Established in Charleston, IL in 1983 to add to students GPA and general dating ability.

$4.09

8" SUB SANDWICHES

All of my tasty sub sandwiches are a full 8 inches of homemade French bread, fresh veggies and the finest meats & cheese I can buy! And if it matters to you, we slice everything fresh everyday in this store, right here where you can see it. (No mystery meat here!)

#1 PEPE®

Real applewood smoked ham and provolone cheese garnished with lettuce, tomato, and mayo.

#2 BIG

JOHN®

Medium rare choice roast beef, topped with yummy mayo, lettuce, and tomato.

#3 TOTALLY

TUNA®

Fresh housemade tuna, mixed with celery, onions, and our tasty sauce, then topped with alfalfa sprouts, cucumber, lettuce, and tomato. (My tuna rocks!)

#4 TURKEY TOM®

Fresh sliced turkey breast, topped with lettuce, tomato, alfalfa sprouts, and mayo. (The original)

#5 VITO®

The original Italian sub with genoa salami, provolone, capicola, onion, lettuce, tomato, & a real tasty Italian vinaigrette. (Hot peppers by request)

#6 VEGETARIAN

Layers of provolone cheese separated by real avocado spread, alfalfa sprouts, sliced cucumber, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. (Truly a gourmet sub not for vegetarians only . . . . . . . . . . . peace dude!)

J.J.B.L.T.™

$2.99 PLAIN SLIMS™ Any Sub minus the veggies and sauce

slim slim slim slim slim slim

1 2 3 4 5 6

Ham & cheese Roast Beef Tuna salad Turkey breast Salami, capicola, cheese Double provolone

Low Carb Lettuce Wrap

JJ UNWICH™ Same ingredients and price of the sub or club without the bread.

YOUR CATERING SOLUTION!!! BOX LUNCHES, PLATTERS, PARTIES!

DELIVERY ORDERS will include a delivery charge of 50¢ per item (+/–10¢).

$6.99

+ side items + Soda Pop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.19/$1.39 Giant chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin cookie . . . $1.25 Real potato chips or jumbo kosher dill pickle . . . . $0.99 Extra load of meat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.39 Extra cheese or extra avocado spread . . . . . . . . . . $0.79 Hot Peppers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $0.50

freebies

Corporate Headquarters Champaign, IL

+ + + + JIMMYJOHNS.COM + + + +

Bacon, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (The only better BLT is mama's BLT)

+ + + + + +

$5.09

(subs & clubs only) Onion, lettuce, alfalfa sprouts, tomato, mayo, sliced cucumber, Dijon mustard, oil & vinegar, and oregano.

THE J.J. GARGANTUAN™ This sandwich was invented by Jimmy John's brother Huey. It's huge enough to feed the hungriest of all humans! Tons of genoa salami, sliced smoked ham, capicola, roast beef, turkey & provolone, jammed into one of our homemade French buns then smothered with onions, mayo, lettuce, tomato, & our homemade Italian dressing.

GIANT club sandwiches My club sandwiches have twice the meat and cheese, try it on my fresh baked thick sliced 7-grain bread or my famous homemade french bread!

#7 GOURMET SMOKED HAM CLUB A full 1/4 pound of real applewood smoked ham, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, & real mayo!

#8 BILLY CLUB®

Choice roast beef, smoked ham, provolone cheese, Dijon mustard, lettuce, tomato, & mayo.

#9 ITALIAN NIGHT CLUB®

Real genoa salami, Italian capicola, smoked ham, and provolone cheese all topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, and our homemade Italian vinaigrette. (You hav'ta order hot peppers, just ask!)

#10 HUNTER’S CLUB®

A full 1/4 pound of fresh sliced medium rare roast beef, provolone, lettuce, tomato, & mayo.

#11 COUNTRY CLUB®

Fresh sliced turkey breast, applewood smoked ham, provolone, and tons of lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (A very traditional, yet always exceptional classic!)

#12 BEACH CLUB®

Fresh baked turkey breast, provolone cheese, avocado spread, sliced cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (It's the real deal, and it ain't even California.)

#13 GOURMET VEGGIE CLUB® Double provolone, real avocado spread, sliced cucumber, alfalfa sprouts, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (Try it on my 7-grain whole wheat bread. This veggie sandwich is world class!)

#14 BOOTLEGGER CLUB®

Roast beef, turkey breast, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. An American classic, certainly not invented by J.J. but definitely tweaked and fine-tuned to perfection!

#15 CLUB TUNA®

The same as our #3 Totally Tuna except this one has a lot more. Fresh housemade tuna salad, provolone, sprouts, cucumber, lettuce, & tomato.

#16 CLUB LULU™

Fresh sliced turkey breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (JJ's original turkey & bacon club)

WE DELIVER! 7 DAYS A WEEK 312 PEARL ST.

608.784.4142

LACROSSE/ONALASKA

9432 STATE HWY. 16

608.781.4240

A L L R I G H T S R E S E RV E D . We R e s e r ve T h e R i g h t To M a k e A n y M e n u C h a n g e s .

High Speed Rails...coming eventually!

By Joel Kuennen

joel.kuennen@secondsupper.com "Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?" - Jack Kerouac, On the Road Ever been to Germany, France, England, Italy, Japan or South Korea? Well, if so, then chances are you've probably taken part in the phenomenon known as high-speed rails. Comfortable chairs, wireless Internet, plug-ins, Onboard Bistro, a good book and the country-side whizzing past your window at ungodly speeds, uhuhuhuhuh...what an experience. These trains reach speeds upwards of 110 mph and are considered the work-horse of the mass transportation system in these countries. Yet America seems to lag behind when it comes to masstransit and there are plenty of reasons for this, the main one, I believe, being cultural. Jack Kerouac's novel On the Road has been lauded as the American novel by many a critic and this is mainly because it is all about one of the most characteristic of American experiences, the Man and the Road. The road becomes the all too needed escape from society, and the car, naturally, is his chariot. Ever since His Holiness Ford introduced the Model T and the dehumanizing assembly line, this country has been a car country. For good reason too. Even though trains are what allowed westward expansion in a fulfillment of

Manifest Destiny, it is the car that truly carved the vast landscapes of the United States of America and allowed Americans to go anywhere they wanted. Vans allowed people to live on the road, Jeeps allowed people to go offroading, muscle cars gave the ball-less balls and the sedan gave the family freedom from the 9-5 assembly line job that put food on the table.

All in all, cars became a personal affect, like a piece of jewelry, and it was here that the US's 4-wheel, 8-cylinder obsession began. But now what? Gas is almost $4 a gallon and my little Mazda (which used to only cost $20 a fill-up) now sucks $40 out of my pocket every other week or so and I KNOW that my income hasn't increased to ease the burden either. It's

sad to say, but car culture in America is on the chopping block. Don't get me wrong, cars will be around for a long time (though it's doubtful they'll be run by gasoline) but with this latest economic downturn and the great oil crisis around the corner, do you think the average consumer will be able to afford the latest in gas-free transportation when all they've got to trade in is a 2002 Explorer? The only bright alternative to this jaded realist seems to be a complete overhaul of the rail system in this country, and what do you know, it's under way! There's even a countrywide initiative bent on improving inter-city rail services at regional and supra-regional levels, effectively creating a hierarchy of travel much like the European Union where the norm of travel has become: fly into a city-hub and from there, take high-speed and commuter trains to your regional destination. This is opposed to the American way where it's much more likely for a visitor to rent a car upon arrival and it is for this simple reason: we do not have an effective and easy public transportation system available. But don't despair. According to the Midwest Regional Rail Initiative, by 2050, the Midwest should be up to snuff with the rest of the developed world. This will include 3,000 miles of high-speed rails linking Minneapolis to Chicago through La Crosse. Thus bringing me to the question at hand: What would an inter-city rail service provide a small/medium-sized city such as this? Well, luckily for this reporter, in 2004 the DOT released a comprehensive, 85 page report on the economic benefit of an inter-city rail system in this country to be implemented through 2050. In it, it is estimated that in La Crosse alone, there will be an increase in property values around the forlorn Amtrak Station totaling somewhere between $16 to $23 million. Travel times between cities will decrease to the equivalent of (in some cases, besting by a good hour) car and airplane transit times. Nearly 1,000 new permanent jobs will be created in Wisconsin, creating an increase of $173 million dollars in household income. And then there is the environmental aspect. Energy-wise, in 2007, the Oak Ridge National Laboratory estimated that rail travel used 21 percent less energy than cars and 17 percent less energy than airplanes. This isn't even taking into account the lifestyle change that a more economical train service would impose. By creating centers of population movement, the economic environment of cities will shift to accommodate a more condensed demographic. City centers (though not in the case of La Crosse, unless the city plans some sort of LIGHT RAIL SERVICE from the station to downtown HINT, HINT) will benefit immensely from this project. Anyway, those who wish to see alternative forms of transportation installed in our city should take comfort in this faint sign of progress. In 40 years or so we could see a whole new landscape develop in the world of traveling. I, for one, look forward to the day I can buy an inexpensive train ticket, hop on, and be sped through the countryside, staring longingly as the world passes me by in blurs of green, gold, crimson and blue.

Midwest Regional Rail System Map and Travel Times chart provided by Wisconsin DOT.

May 1, 2008

Live - Reverend Horton Heat PURPLE RIDERS, from page 6

Photos by Bob Treu

Photo by Dave Shafer

By Andrew Colston

andrew.colston@secondsupper.com It was a week of religious significance across the country with not only Pope Benedict XVI on the mound at Yankee Stadium, but the good Reverend Horton Heat preaching to the converted at that obsidian basilica of rock: First Avenue nightclub in Minneapolis. Both figures have rabid throngs following their every move and each reside atop their respective ladder, consistently selling out their tours — though I think it’s fair to say Reverend Heat catches a little less flack from the masses on a daily basis than his papal counterpart. This night there was a change of plans for the Reverend’s show, as rockabilly tarts Nashville Pussy, who were scheduled to precede RHH, had to cancel their performance for personal reasons. Local country-hucksters Choogilin’ stepped in to assist and dished out a mighty wind of honking horns in a rockin’ orchestral display.There was no less than seven members on stage (it seemed), and the clan put forth a pretty great effort full of tonal guitars riding roughshod over the aforementioned horns while countrified keys and skipping drums kept perfect rhythm. The hometown group’s set wound up with a couple of truly pounding, epic numbers and the soon to be capacity crowd responded accordingly. After a short set up period between bands, and a terrific first 20 minutes or so of the Shaw Brothers’ martial arts classic King Boxer on the big screen projector, Illinois alumni Backyard Tire Fire were up to bat. A casually dressed three-piece (baseball caps and T-shirts) with a wicked following, these guys took straight up rock ‘n’ roll from the opening lick and added a working stiff sensibility with dirt road knowhow for good measure. They tore through their set and the crowd was right there with them, changing gears, not missing a beat. Obviously familiar with the material (more so than I), even patrons at the back bars joined in the singalongs to the “loveable loser” parables as much as the sentimental honky tonk numbers. I was surprised by the crowd’s positive feedback at first, but then realized why these guys are on tour with Reverend Heat.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

After a welcomed break between sets, and another 20 minutes of quality kung-fu asskicking from King Boxer, the lights dimmed and the orange-clad king of rockabilly emerged to thunderous cheer. He was in an exceptional mood and took fun in interacting with the crowd, announcing how pleased he was to be in Minneapolis. Pleasantries aside, Reverend Heat tore through his universally known repertoire like a tornado through Toledo, his skilled hands upon his strings never sharper. If you had a favorite song, he played it. If you weren’t a fan before, you were now. The aged troubadour barely took time to sweat and the only evidence he was remotely winded was when he removed his blaze orange jacket, revealing his black button-up shirt. About a third of the way into his material, the Reverend paused to explain a train of thought he had on his mind. He told of the middle ages where the toiling masses of indentured servants invented “serf music” and how important it was to the creation of blues and, thusly, quality country and rockabilly music. He then proceeded to take us on a history lesson of cover songs he called “Music Through the Ages” (complete with the intro from the Twilight Zone). This selection of classics had each number plucked from it’s decade of origin between the 1940s and 2000. The ancient “Greensleeves” was first and was followed anxiously by the likes of “King of the Road,” Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid,” the Stray Cats’ “Rock this Town” and most sonically surprising “In Bloom” by Nirvana. As the locomotive set rolled into the last station, the Reverend took a moment to address the still feverish audience and inform them the merch table had some older Horton Heat cassettes for sale — for any desired donation — the proceeds of which were going to go to charitable work in Africa. It was a surprising gesture considering at times the rockabilly scene, like rock ‘n’ roll in general, runs a risk of seeming a bit myopic and containing more style than substance. But leave it to the good Reverend Horton Heat to continue to blaze more trails while maintaining the top of his craft.

break with car ownership. They had settled in La Crosse and found they could think about the carfree life seriously.That year they decided to do it. But first they made two trips. The first was a car trip through the west, a sort of last hurrah in which they got to see the places they hadn’t seen before. It was a memorable journey that took them all the way to California.Then they went to Europe, where they traveled by train and boat. Cities in Switzerland and Germany and Holland seemed designed for biking, and in places the bike seemed to dominate. They saw elderly people bringing home the groceries on bikes. They saw shopping areas where the parking lots were crammed with thousands of bikes. They also saw what life could be like with mass transportation that works. Back in La Crosse they soon realized they had made the right decision. Besides the money they saved on the car itself, registration, insurance, upkeep and gas (now that gas is more than $3.50 per gallon, they seem more right than ever), they are getting healthy exercise, and they have eliminated a significant amount of stress from their lives. They expect to add ten years to their lives. With the money they saved, they bought “the limo.” Besides carrying them most places they need to go, it has an impressive trailer attachment that takes care of the shopping problem. Since they like to buy in bulk, that’s important. The trailer also allows them to camp from time to time. Their longest trip to date was to the Energy Fair in Custer, Wisconsin, a round trip distance of nearly 300 miles. Four or five times a year they rent a car for important trips, and they are still saving money. So now they want to share what they’ve learned. Most of us know we should drive less; they think a whole lot of us could join them in the carless revolution and the world would be

a better place. More than that, they want to show us it doesn’t have to be a dreary sacrifice. They make it seem like fun. What keeps most of us back is the “you first” factor. I’d stop driving, if others were doing so. That’s where Transportation Liberation comes in. The program is not about making us feel guilty or grouchy. The show is a balanced blend of RoZ and Obbie’s story and a dose of inconvenient truths. You leave the show feeling positive and capable of doing great things. You’ll be able to catch the show on May 8th in the Ward Room, in Cartwright Center on the UWLa Crosse Campus. If you’re in Portland, Oregon in the middle of June, you can catch it there. If you would just like more information, try their website: www. purplearth.net. Or, you can catch them on the bike trail. You’ll have no trouble recognizing them.

Interested in being a home owner? There couldn’t be a better time to buy!

Why make your landlord $$$? HAVE YOUR ROOMATES PAY YOUR MORTGAGE! CALL 608-397-8188 NOW and talk to Gregg about how easy it is TO OWN your own home.

greggscharf@gerrardhoeschler.com

Katmandu Trading Company Valley View Mall Onalaska, WI Cowry Shell Necklace - $8 Hemp and Stone Necklace - $8 Stone Chip Bracelet - $7 Hemp Cargo Pants - $48 Short-Sleeve Hemp Tropics Shirt - $28 Environs: La Crosse Skatepark Model:Tim McCarren Photographers: Kelly Morrison & Liana Skibbie 13

May 1, 2008

The 32nd Miss Onalaska Competition

Photos by Kelly Morrison

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

Reviews - your guide to consumption That’s What I’m Talkin’ ‘Bout Rolled Out Stout Pearl Street Brewery La Crosse, Wisconsin First we’ll start with the name, which I find awesome. Although subtlety has its place in the brewing world, sometimes a beer just has to step up and make itself known: That’s What I’m Talkin’ ‘Bout Rolled Out Stout — hell yeah, I’ll drink that! The Pearl Street Brewery isn’t often known for being so assertive. Previously its best bottled beers were a smooth lager and an unassuming pale ale, and it even changed the snappy Downtown Brown brand to the monolithic D.T.B. For a while I feared the P.S.B. was drifting away from its craft roots and experimental session ales, but then I popped open an organic oat stout, the fourth beer on its bottling line, and this, dear readers, is exactly what I’m talking about! The beer pours the color of dark molasses, a beautiful hue for a stout. The aroma is rich and roasted with coffee tones dominating, but the boggy smells hint at something a little more complex than your average coffee stout. Ratings: Poured from a bottle, the head was less foamy than I would have liked, although I recall it being frothier from a tap. Still, the beer retains a 8.5 of 10 tremendous mouthfeel that is surprisingly creamy for a beer this complex.The initial sip is nothing spectacular, but the mouth soon picks up 8 of 10 the flavor of the smartly malted barely. For some brewers this would 6.5 of 10 have been enough — quality ingredients cooked up well — but the rolled oats serve this better than others in the increasingly crowded 7 of 10 category of oatmeal stouts. There’s an initial burst of sweetness that isn’t played up for a novelty. Instead some slightly acidic undertones 7.5 of 10 rise up and the beer’s flavor alternates between sweet milk and mild coffee several times as it moves down the throat. It’s an expert flavor Total: combination for the rare stout that tastes great in the spring. When you can pull that off, I guess you’re allowed to be a little brash. 37.5 of 50 — Adam Bissen

Passion Fruit Tea

$1.50 / Oz. at the Briar Patch

reless i W e Fre et! Intern ig Ten NFL, B rk! Netwo

Great Study Environment right across from Onalaska High! 426 2nd Ave South Onalaska, WI 608.781.9999 - www.thetimbers.biz

(southwestern) 15

(soups & sandwiches)

We're back to the teas again for this week and this particular brew is well-suited to the beautiful spring days that we've been having lately. Made with full black tea leaves, peach bits (peach, sugar), flavoring and sunflower petals for effect, this tea is a pungent,florally-sweet cup that will assuage even the most allergic of noses. To the taste: I did two different brews with this tea, one with a 2 minute steep time, the other at 10 minutes — and I liked 'em both! Even after the excessively long steep time, the black tea failed to overpower the flower and the sweet flower failed to turn into saccharine death. That said, the 2 minute steep was better, due to the extremely delicate traces that the flowers left, floating lightly over the dark tones left by the black tea. As an aftertaste, acidic passion-fruit-like flavors ruled the tongue and completed the delicious tour the tropical garden. The color of the brew itself is a brilliant crimson, intensifying the overall floral experience of the tea. Black Tea in most Asian languages is actually known as "Crimson Tea" due to the maroon-ruby hue it died the water. Overall, this tea is a brilliant drink, hot or cold (though better hot). Its flavors are complex and all around pleasing. Good cup! — Joel Kuennen

May 1, 2008

Film Reviews Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed Director: Nathan Frankowski Host: Ben Stein By Nicholas Cabreza

nicholas.cabreza@secondsupper.com American politics turns me off like a nude portrait of Peter O'Toole. I hate that, though it has but two political parties, the US claims to be the "model democracy." I hate how everything is either/or, left/right, right/wrong, you're with us/you're with the terrorists, etc. I hate how if you believe in evolution, people assume you're not religious, and vice versa. Finding entertainment amongst biased, politically-fueled documentaries like Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, all depends on what side of the debate you take. People go to movies like this for one of two reasons: To have their pro-subjectmatter beliefs reiterated or to have their antisubject-matter beliefs reiterated. Expelled introduces the Intelligent Design debate via seemingly innocent, spin-proof events: Experts in the field of biology have found themselves shunned by the scientific community for supporting ID. Ben Stein interviews dozens

Last Action Hero (1993) Director: John McTiernan Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F. Murray Abraham Written by: Zak Penn, Adam Leff, Shane Black, David Arnott Here’s a difficult position to take. In all seriousness, I think that Last Action Hero is the best movie that Arnold Schwarzenegger has ever made. Certainly, it’s the smartest, if not a little bit masturbatory. The story centers upon the Schwarzennegarian hero worship of 1993’s shaggy-haired child star of the moment, Austin O’Brien. O’Brien’s only other notable role was in My Girl 2, where he dropped the ball by not getting stung to death by a swarm of bees. This cowardice killed off the prestigious My Girl franchise and proved that O’Brien wasn’t fit to hold Macaulay Culkin’s jock. Nevertheless, the kid does shine here as a precocious little shit who gets sucked into one of Arnold’s fictional worlds, the delightful cop drama, Jack Slater IV.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

Album Reviews of people on each side of the debate, all of whom fit nicely into one of two categories: The satanic, bully "Darwinists," or the victimized, persecuted ID supporters. The film goes on to draw a number of drastic conclusions. For example, Darwin is responsible for the Holocaust, and anyone who believes in evolution is a Nazi; likewise, evolution does not support the troops and is a loogie on the graves of all who have died in uniform. For a documentary that, with biases on the back burner, so neutrally introduces the audience to its subject matter by presenting valid points from both sides, Expelled evolves into quite the rigid propaganda piece. No, proponents of ID should not be ostracized, or worse, but does that warrant calling evolution proponents Nazis? As someone who sucked horribly at studying biology/sciences in school, I'd rather keep my nose out of most debates on the topic of life's origin. I'll find out all the answers when I die (or not), but for now I'm too busy trying to enjoy life to get my proverbial panties in a bunch over how it came about. Makes you wonder who would sign our hero up for three sequels – if you don’t consider Schwarzenegger’s entire career to be one giant sequel of Hercules in New York, anyway. Obviously, this is a movie driven by the strength of its premise, not its stars. It is funny to see O’Brien’s Danny Madigan pick apart the foibles of Schwarzenegger’s career, and frantically try to prove to Jack Slater that they are in a movie. A visit to the video store results in wonderful dismay when Danny discovers that this world’s Terminator 2 starred Sylvester Stallone. Frightening. Aside from the Cartesian conundrums of Jack Slater, though, Arnold isn’t doing anything in this film that he hasn’t done a dozen times before. Asses are kicked, names are taken and only Danny’s convictions lend the film any braininess. That is, until the second half, where the ridiculously glass-eyed yet completely kickass hitman Benedict steals Danny’s golden ticket. (Yeah, a golden ticket.) Benedict makes for the real world, ready to form a celluloid army of villains and preparing to assassinate – get this – Arnold Schwarzenegger. If SIR IAN FUCKING MCKELLEN wasn’t in this movie as the most badass Grim Reaper ever (apologies to Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey), Charles Dance would have carried the film on his own. When Benedict stares at the camera, musing that “If God were a villain, he’d be me,” the film hits its zenith. Schwarzenegger has never been involved with anything so brilliant – and that includes California. Unfortunately, the DVD is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Its menu screen is straight out of a Korean sweatshop, which is appropriate, because the subtitles on this disc only come in Spanish and Korean. Additionally, this movie is only available in full-screen, which is shit because it has the worst full-screen pan of all time. °

Whitesnake – Good to Be Bad If the fates ever found the good grace to summon forth a sequel to Patrick Swayze’s magnum opus, Road House, this would be the soundtrack for that blessed event. Whitesnake has thankfully steered clear of the aging rock star tendencies toward reinvention. This isn’t its equivalent of St.Anger. Good to Be Bad is instead an uncompromising stripe of pure balls-to-the-wall hair metal, something so rare and novel in the current age that it becomes remarkable now where it would have been but a drop in a flood during the 80s. Still, it would have been a sweet-ass album even then. You can almost smell the greasy spoon strippers parading across a neon tracklighted stage, enticing legions of syphilitic truckers clad in eagle-patched jean jackets out of their per diems. Following David Coverdale’s moans and wails, the guitars are vintage sleaze. Whitesnake is a band that knows what it’s doing, that never second-guessed its mission, and therefore kick all the more ass. It’s kind of weird that this band came out of Deep Purple. Let the automobile hoodhumping resume. — Brett Emerson

Bloc Party – Another Weekend in the City This isn’t technically a part of the Bloc Party discography, but it’s something I came across recently which merits consideration, and for the most part, downloading. Another Weekend in the City is an unofficial offshoot of last year’s Britrock highlight A Weekend in the City: one part B-side collection, one part remix EP, and an epilogue of demos. The demos, as these things lean, were better performed on the original album. There’s not much casual lure. The four remixes are all for “The Prayer”, and they’re mostly crap. Even the Does It Offend You, Yeah? Remix is only passable, though it is the best of the lot. What you’re looking for here are the 11 tracks which didn’t make the original cut. Many of these songs could have landed on a major release, albeit one with less gravitas than A Weekend… carried. “Secrets” sounds like something my NES would have fired out as I adventured through Han Dynasty China. The opening lyrics of “Version 2.0” are a breathy echo of a Daft Punk line, accompanying the frenetic beats which carry through the track and into “The Once and Future King”, the best song on the album and likeliest contender to fit into the original album. Another Weekend… doesn’t have the typical mashed-together feel that characterizes most B-side compilations. There’s a definite theme to the music which runs throughout, and it’s hard at times to see why certain things were left out of the major release. Perhaps the growing obsolescence of CDs will result in longer albums, and bands can release our equivalent of double discs with impunity. In Bloc Party’s case, that would certainly be a good thing. Track this down. — Brett Emerson

The Raconteurs – Consolers of the Lonely It’s hard to fault Jack White for wanting to play with his friends. Unlike so-called supergroups such as A Perfect Circle, this band didn’t begin as an intentional entity or a side project, but evolved from a room full of guys fooling around. There’s a lot of time to kill between White Stripes albums, I’m sure. There are worse sins than filling that time with more music. The laid-back approach to this band is obvious in its sound, and its lack of one. This sophomore release is one big pile of variety, shuffling between Rolling Stones, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Allman Brothers apes, Nashville blues, even a little horn-laden doo-wop. At times, the comparisons between The Raconteurs and The White Stripes are bluntly obvious. Still, the songs don’t suffer from it. This is an album which will appeal best to those purveyors of the greater horizon of rock; followers of a singular style might find it more hit and miss. Either way, it’s worth a look. — Brett Emerson

Your community owned natural foods store 315 Fifth Ave. So. La Crosse,WI tel. 784.5798 www.pfc.coop

open daily 7 am–10 pm

organics • deli with vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free selections, fabulous soups & interesting sandwiches • fair trade coffee & tea • bakery • specialty cheeses • local products • fresh, local, & conventional produce • wine & beer • vitamins • cosmetics • health & beauty • floral • housewares and so much more ... 16

Bibliophile Here, There Be Dragons (2006) By James A. Owen There’s a concept presented in this book which in many ways dwarfs the events of its story. What if, James Owen asks, the entirety of human imagination was to spill over into its own universe? Though the first book in The Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica does suffer from being too Anglocentric, the idea of a reality populated by all the world’s fiction is a wonderful one. The three heroes within this World War I era tale are all authors of international fame, though who exactly they are doesn’t become blatantly apparent until the final pages. This isn’t a plot twist that necessarily flips the story on its head, but once discovered, these identities make the tale all the more fantastic.The supporting cast includes another big author in the mentor role, his pirate daughter, Captain Nemo, a Dickens character as villainous henchman, the obvious (and oblivious) boy king, and a villain who comes out of Arthurian legend by way of Outer Mongolia. And, of course, there are dragons. The story is a great compliment to a staggering idea, but there is a problem that may hamper its impact. You see, Here, There Be Dragons is being marketed as a teen book, and in the eyes of (say this absurd phrase with me) “serious fantasy enthusiasts," any juvenile literary connotation is a kiss of death. Harry Potter and the Baudelaire kids may escape such dismissals, but the escape is rare. In Owen’s case, this kiss of death is an inaccurate one. This book is accessible to teens, but its real draw is meant for English majors and lit freaks, people who are familiar with the last few centuries of English storytelling. For the professed target audience, this is going to simply be a neat book, and most of the inside lines will be missed. Anyway, that’s all business end semantics. This trilogy which Owen is crafting has the potential to shake the realms of storytelling, should he move beyond a Western focus on storytelling and take in all of the world’s tales. I’m not convinced that this will happen, but the work he has made has more than enough big ideas swimming around inside to warrant a reading from the hardcore among you. — Brett Emerson

Tropical Trance 1/3 Hpnotiq 1/3 Malibu 1/3 Pineapple Juice

May 1, 2008

Happenings Art galleries BLUFFLAND BLOOM & BREW 119 S. 4th St., La Crosse (608) 782-BREW Monthly Culture Shock show, featuring live art as well as drawings, paintings, photography, and prints by local artists. HEIDER CENTER FOR THE ARTS 405 East Hamlin Street West Salem, WI 608-786-1220 x 4 http://www.wsalem.k12.wi.us/ Heider.html PUMP HOUSE REGIONAL CENTER FOR THE ARTS Open noon-5 p.m. Tuesday through Friday, and noon-4 p.m. Saturday. No admission charge, donations accepted. Features exhibits of local artists and performances. 119 King St., La Crosse 608-785-1434 www.thepumphouse.org. SATORI ARTS Unique hand crafted jewelry, Mississippi River pearls, ancient Chinese artifacts, Custom-made jewelry, original art works, and a variety of unique gifts. 201 Pearl Street, La Crosse 608-785-2779

Theaters, cont. LA CROSSE COMMUNITY THEATRE www.lacrossecommunitytheatre.org 118 5th Ave N La Crosse, WI 608-784-9292

Sports UW-L WIAC Tournament Fri., May 2 - Sat., May 3 @ Stevens Point, Wis. TBA

Women’s and Men’s Track: Congratulations UW-L! Thurs., May 15 NCAA III Qualifier @ La Crosse, Wis. 4 p.m.

Men’s Baseball: Fri., May 2 vs. UW-Superior (DH) @ Superior, Wis. Noon Sat., May 3 vs. UW-Superior (DH) @ Superior, Wis. Noon

Thurs., May 1 MCC Tournament @ Davenport, IA TBA Sun., May 4 vs. Martin Luther College (DH) @ New Ulm, MN Noon

performances La Crosse Community Theatre: What: The Sound of Music. Music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II, book by Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse Date: April 25-27, May 1-4, and 8-10 at 7:30 p.m. May 11 at 1:00 p.m. What: The Somewhat True Tale of Robin Hood A frantically funny, Monty Pythonesque retelling of the classic. Date: June 13-15 and 20-21at 7:30 p.m. June 14, 15, 21, and 22 at 1:00 p.m. (Auditions are on May 5 and 6.)

WINONA STATE

UW-L ART GALLERY The gallery displays works by students, faculty, regional and nationally-known artists in all areas of art. The gallery is on the ﬁrst ﬂoor of the Center for the Arts located at the corner of 16th and Pine on the UW-L campus.

Men’s Baseball:

Fri., May 2 - Sat., May 3 NSIC Championships Time and place TBA Sun., May 4 Nebraska-Omaha (2) @ Winona, MN Noon LUTHER COLLEGE

Men’s Baseball: Fri., May 2 vs. Cornell @ Home (1 x 9) 3:00 pm

Women’s Softball:

COMMONWEAL THEATRE www.commonwealtheatre.org/ 208 Parkway Avenue North, Lanesboro, MN 55949 800-657-7025

Women’s Softball:

Theaters

VITERBO UNIVERSITY

Men’s Baseball:

STORY PEOPLE www.storypeople.com 110 Winnebago St, Decorah, IA 563-382-8060

VISIONS OF LIGHT Stained Glass 129 4th St S, La Crosse 608-793-1032

Sports, cont.

Thurs., May 1 - Sat., May 3 Iowa Conference Tournament @ Waverly, Iowa TBA

Men's and Women’s Track: Thurs., May 1 Luther-Wartburg Dual @ Luther 3:00 p.m.

Art Exhibits, cont. SENSORY OVERLOAD: LIGHT, MOTION, SOUND, AND THE OPTICAL IN ART SINCE 1945

ongoing Milwaukee Art Museum 414-224-3200 European and American art, including Stanley Landsman’s Inﬁnity Chamber, which has not been on view for nearly twenty years. Also featured is Erwin Redl’s Matrix, a 25 x 50 foot LED installation.

“A WEAVER’S JOURNEY”

through April 28 Pump House (La Crosse) Phyllis Scarbrough showcases some of the ﬁnest handmade baskets around. She has woven over 3,000 baskets, covering over 300 styles.

LA CROSSE HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT ART SHOW

May 4 through May 31 Pump House (La Crosse) Kader Room & Front Gallery La Crosse students will display their art, showcasing a variety of media. "TOMFOOLERY"

Art Exhibits “WHO IS A CITIZEN? WHAT IS CITIZENSHIP?”

ongoing Frederick R. Weisman Museum (University of Minnesota) The ﬁrst in a year-long series of exhibitions and programs examining the role of art and artists in a democracy. Featuring 30 works from various artists. PAINTING, POTTERY, PHOTOS, JEWELRY

ongoing Edland Art Gallery (La Crosse) 608-785-2787 HAND-WROUGHT IRON, ALUMINUM, AND PEWTER JEWELRY

ongoing State Street Gallery (La Crosse) 608-782-0101

ONE WEEK ONLY, May 28 through May 31 at 7:30 p.m. and June 1 at 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. Call 608-785-1434 for tickets. Advance pricing is $15. Day-of-show pricing $18. Students (with valid ID in hand) $10. Matinee performances $10 “Tomfoolery” is bigger and better than ever.You’re invited to share a witty, offbeat evening with the cast of delightfully-eclectic characters enjoying a riotous cocktail party which runs from May 28 through June 1. WRAP (WISCONSIN REGIONAL ARTISTS PROGRAM) EVENT

June 6 through June 30 Pump House, Kader Room Variety of Media. Workshop is June 30, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Upcoming Events CAMERON PARK FARMERS MARKET May 2 (every Friday) 4:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Farmers Market season is back! Fresh produce, pasture-raised buffalo and beef, honey, maple syrup, plants, artists, handmade jewelry, paintings, beeswax candles and more! Come to the market and enjoy local foods and arts in the heart of downtown La Crosse. MACGREGOR SPRING FLOWERS & BIRD HIKE May 3 Muscoda, Wis. 10:00 a.m. - Noon Free Hike through the beautiful and diverse MacGregor property in the Snow Bottom State Natural Area of Grant County, WI. We will be searching for spring flowers like the delicate "Dutchmen's Britches", and keeping an eye open for bright flashes of orange from "Baltimore Orioles". Whether you like wildflowers or birds, forests or prairies, this hike will have something for everyone. Email mrich@mississippivalleyconservancy.org to register or if you would like further information. REGGAE MUSIC FEST May 3 Trempealeau Hotel, Trempealeau, Wis. 2:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. $15 in advance or $20 the day of the show. Jamaican music, crafts and food. Outdoor concerts in scenic Trempealeau. On Wisconsin`s Great River Road. 2:00 - 5:00 Tony Brown & The Landing Crew 5:00 - 8:00 Indika 8:00 - 11:00 International Reggae All-Stars STREET DRAGS May 9 La Crosse Fairgrounds Speedway West Salem, Wis. Street vehicles drag for 278 feet. Separate lanes, straight line. No helmets required (Motorcycle helmet and leather jacket required) and passengers welcome to ride. Just buckle up and have fun! Everyone welcome to race. Race YOUR vehicle!

Trying to get the word out about your event? Place a free listing in Happenings and make it easy on yourself. 1 Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

18 April 24, 2008

Bike to Work Week Events Saturday, May 3 Bike Rodeo and more Myrick Park 9:00 a.m. - Noon - Biking skills activities (Free bike helmets) - Bike ﬁt and safety check - Biking rules and safety tips - Safe Routes and other biking information - Bike Paramedics and police - City Bus with bike rack and demonstration/instructions Friday, May 9 Celebrate Bike to Work Week Cameron Park 5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. - Music by Grand Picnic

FUTURE SONS

- Free root beer ﬂoats - 2 Commuter bike giveaways Every Day Bike to Worship Weekdays Neighborhood rides Starting locations and times to be announced

Ah, the joys of summer... grilling out under the sun, hiking the green bluﬀs, boating down the river and

KICKBALL! Want to re-live the glory of 4th grade recess? Kickball season starts June 19 and goes through mid August. Round up a team and be part of La Crosse's ﬁrst summer kickball league. For more information, as well as a registration form, visit

www.kickoplex.com 19 Supper vol. 8, issue 113 Second

2 May 1, 2008

COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 Mormon Coulee

Alpine Inn W5715 Bliss rd.

Alumni

620 Gillette st.

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave.

Sunday

Monday

3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m.

bucket special

Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers

Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close

2 for 1 cans & bottles during Packer games

Beef & Etc.

1203 La Crosse st.

Big Al’s

115 S 3rd st.

Brothers 306 Pearl st.

Chuck’s

1101 La Crosse st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

Dan’s Place 411 3rd st.

Fiesta Mexicana 5200 Mormon Coulee

Fox Hollow

N3287 County OA

Buck Night starts at 6 p.m.

Import night starts at 7 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl & Karaoke starts at 9 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl starts at 9 p.m.

3 games for $5 starts at 7 p.m. 6 - CL $2.50 Sparks

$1 softshell tacos $1 shots of doctor, cherry doctor

$5 bbq ribs and fries

AUCE wings $5.00 free crazy bingo buy one cherry bomb get one for $1

meatball sandwich meal: $6.15 2 dogs meal: $ 5.25

Italian beef meal: $6.15 Chicago chili dog: $3.45

grilled chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 Polish sausage meal: $3.99

hamburger meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: $3.89

$1.25 make your own tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2.25 margaritas, $2 off large taco pizza

$2.25 burgers, $2.60 cheeseburgers, $2 off large pizza, $1 fries with any pizza

soup or salad bar FREE with entree or sandwich until 3 p.m. ($3.95 by itself)

closed

Thirsty Tuesday

3-7 happy hour

$2 Silos

HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM 10 cent wings (9 - CL) $1 High Life bottles $1.50 rail mixers $2 Guinness pints

Wristband Night

batterfried cod, fries, beans, and garlic bread $5.50

$4.50 domestic pitchers barrel parties at cost pepper & egg sandwich meal: $4.50, fiﬁsh sh sandwich meal: $4.99, Italian sausage meal: $6.15

Italian beef meal: $6.15 2 Chicago dog meal: $3.45

$6.75 shrimp dinner

$1.50 bloody marys 11 a.m. - 4 p.m

$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7

Martini Madness $2 off all martinis

closed

$1 Dr. shots $3 Jager Bombs

2 for 1 taps

7 - CL $1 domestic 12 oz $2 Stoli mixers

7 - CL Tequila’s chips & salsa, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Mike’s, Mike-arita

7 - midnight Ladies: 2 for 1 Guys: $1.50 Coors and Kul Light bottles

7 - midnight $1 rail mixers $2 Bacardi mixers

7 - midnight $2 Malibu madness $2 pineapple upsidedown cake

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, Rumpleminz, Goldschlager

Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, Corona Light, Cuervo

$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per hour) $1 rails

All day, everyday: $1.00 Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors

closed

$.50 domestic taps, $1 microbrews, $3 domestic pitchers, $6 microbrew pitchers

$2.00 Cruzan Rum Mixers, $2.50 Jameson Shots, $3.00 Mixers

$3.00 Patron Shots

$2 Tuesdays, including $2 bottles, import taps, beer pong, apps, single shot mixers, featured shots, and 50 cent taps

WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK BOTTLES $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT OF THE WEEK

$2.00 Captain Mixers

Wristband Night $5 COLLEGE I.D. $9 general public

$1 Kul Light cans

Topless Tuesday

Ladies Night buy one, get one free wear a bikini, drink free

Karaoke $1 shot specials

live DJ $1 shot specials

chicken & veggie fajitas for two

football night domestic beer: $1.50 Mexican beer: $2.00

chicken primavera

shrimp burrito

chili verde

Ask server for details

Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00

Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00

1908 Campbell rd.

$1.25 BURGERS

Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00

25 Cent Wings

bottles

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114 3

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8

beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak

free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

HAPPY HOUR 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

$8.95 16 oz. steak fish platter $8.95 1/2 lb. ﬁsh

Buy one gyro get one half price

free baklava, ice cream or sundae with meal

$1.25 domestic taps buy one burger get one half price

buy one appetizer get one half price

GREEK ALL DAY appetizer half price with meal

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 -7 and 9 - 11

Bloody Mary specials 10 - 2

JB’s Speakeasy $1.75 domestic

Karaoke

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

$5.99 gyro fries & soda

$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs

$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS $3.00 JAGER BOMBS

$4 full pint Irish Car Bomb

Gracie’s

717 Rose st.

Saturday

3 p.m. - midnight 25 cent hot wings $1 shots of Dr.

1904 Campbell rd.

127 Marina dr.

Friday

$6.00 AUCD

$2.50 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers

Goal Post

Huck Finn’s

Thursday

bucket night 6 for $9

meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 Italian sausage: $4.95

114 5th ave.

318 Pearl st.

Tuesday Wednesday

1/4 barrel giveaway 8-11 $1 burgers

free pitcher of beer or soda with large pizza

The Cavalier CheapShots

16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tips 8 $1 shots of Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl Happy hour 4-6 $1.75 cans, $2 mix drinks

food & drink specials ]

$1.75 domestic bottles

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7 20 April 24, 2008

COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area LA CROSSE The Joint 324 Jay st.

Legend’s

Sunday

123 3rd st.

closed come in and ﬁnd find out ... you’ll be glad you did

Loons

3264 George st.

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s 3119 State rd.

Shooter’s 120 S 3rd st.

closed

closed hamburger $1.25 cheeseburger $150

1128 La Crosse st.

Nutbush

Tuesday Wednesday

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 4 - 8, $2 domestic beer and rail drinks ALL DAY, EVERYDAY $1 shots of Dr.

223 Pearl st.

The Library

Monday

25 wings: $5 bucket of beer: $12 during Packers games

closed

Pizza & pitcher

closed

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

$1 cans Hamm’s

food & drink specials ] Thursday

WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

closed

KARAOKE $1.25 domestic pints $2 double rails $3 double calls $2 ALL bottles

$1 taps $1 rails bacon cheeseburger, fries, mug of beer: $4.50 drummies, fries, mug of beer: $5

chicken ﬁlet, filet, fries, pop: $4.75 chicken ﬁlet, filet, fries, beer: $5 mushroom/swiss, fries, pop: $4.25, mushroom/swiss, fries, beer: $4.50

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

Wristband Night

$5.00 for 25 wings

AUCE ﬁsh fish fry DJ 9 - CL

BUCK WED burger, hot dog or brat

$2 mixers, taps, bottles $1.00 OFF YOUR CHOICE OF FOOD

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM $1.00 OFF CHICKEN HOOP DAY!! MAKE PHILLY, $1.00 OFF YOUR SHOT AND CHEESE CURDS YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

$1 cans PBR

$1 cans Busch Light

$1 cans Old Style

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

Bucket Night 5 for $9

Top Shots

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

$1.50 PBR bottles $1.50 Dr. shots after 7 p.m.

$1.25 Lite taps all day $1.50 rails 10 - 1

$1.75 domestic bottles 7 - 12

5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Family pack: 10 tacos & 4 sodas for $14.99

burritos on the go: buy a big one and get a free soda

Speedy tacos $1.50

gyro, chips, soda $5.99

3 chicken fry taquitos $3.99

Sunday

Monday

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

Speedy Taco 301 Kistler dr.

WINONA Betty Jo Byoloski’s

66 Center st.

Brothers 129 W 3rd st.

closed

Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Tuesday Wednesday

$1 cans Miller High Life Light $1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

21 Supper vol. 8, issue 113 Second

half price appetizers, Import Club Night: discounts on all micros & imports $1 martinis $2 mojitos $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

all-u-can-eat spaghetti all day $5.45 25 cent hot wings 4 - 10

tenderloin tips, shrooms, fries or potato, salad, roll $9.95 50 cents off top shelf liquor

HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM 10 cent wings, $3 filled filled 2 for 1 mug ($1 tap refills, refills, $2 anything rail refills) refills) $1 High Life 9 p.m. - close bottles/kamikaze shots

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

$1 cans PBR $1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $4.50 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

free pitcher of pop or domestic beer with large pizza discounts on all domestic beer $1 O-Bombs/ Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night

Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

Fiesta burrito $6.99

Nachos Supreme $5.49

Friday

Saturday

HAPPY HOUR 3:15 - 6:15 2 for 1 burgers $1 off Bloodys & Screwdrivers

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.45

$2 Bacardi mixers

317 Pearl st.

$5.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

$1.25 pints during Badgers games DJ 9 - CL

LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY

$4 domestic pitchers

Yesterdays

$3 Captain mixers $3 Bacardi Mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands $3 jumbo Long Islands fiﬁsh sh sandwich, fries, mug of beer: $5 fish sandwich, fries, pop: ﬁsh $4.75

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

$1 tacos, Ladies Night 2 for 1, 9 - CL

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK

cheeseburger, fries, pop: $4 cheeseburger, fries, beer: $4.25 Philly or Reuben, fries, pop: $5.75, Philly or Reuben, fries, beer: $6

happy hour all day Packer games: $1.50 Coors Light Silver, $1 Dr. shots, free brats

137 S 4th st.

Saturday

$2 Love Stories $5 Wu Tang Teas $1 shots of the DOC!

Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.

Friday

all day: all-u-can-eat ﬁsh fish $8.95 lunch: ﬁsh fish sandwich & fries $5.45 $2.50 Captain Mixers $1.00 Root Beer Barrels $6.00 “Buck-its” (6 beers for $6.00)

Prime Rib specials, one child eats free with one adult entree 4 - 10: house wines $2.50 $2.50 Bacardi Mixers $5.00 Fishbowls $1.00 O-bombs & Bazooka Joes

4 May 1, 2008

Entertainment Directory 5/1 4/24-5/1 - 5/7 Sunday, May April427

La Crosse

Popcorn Tavern The New Blend Something Jazz

Thursday, May April124 Dan’s Place Live DJ

9:00

Monday, April 28 Monday, May 5

9:00

George St. Pub Adam Palm’s Open Jam Jam

The Recovery Room Live DJ Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Popcorn Tavern New Grass Revue The Moon

10:00

The Warehouse Friday, May 2 Mayday Parade, My American Heart, The Graduate, All Star Lanes Verona Grove 6:00 Karaoke 9:00 Friday, April 25 My Second Home Karaoke All Star Lanes Karaoke Player’s Live My DJ Second Home Karaoke Nutbush Live DJ Player’s

9:00 9:00 10:00 9:00 10:00

Live DJ 10:00 Popcorn Tavern Bottom of the Barrel String Band Nutbush 10:00 Live DJ 10:00 The Joint Cheech, Howard Luedtke, Ryan Popcorn Tavern Torgerson, Dedrick 10:00 Shoeless RevolutionBenz with Comosapien 10:00 Saturday, May 3 The Warehouse The SecondTavern String Dinosaurs,Union Popcorn Pulse, Cardiac Radio, Tony Zobeck Sol Spectre 10:00 6:00 All Star Lanes Saturday, April 26 Karaoke 9:00 Popcorn Tavern Players Sterus Live DJ

10:00 10:00

All Star Lanes Nutbush Karaoke Live DJ

9:00 10:00

Players La Crosse Center Live DJ Confectionary Treats

10:00 8:00

Nutbush The Joint Live DJ Lo 10:00 Down 10:00 5 Second Supper vol. 8, issue 114

Popcorn Tavern Shawn's Open Jam Jam

Just A Roadie Away... 10:00

Minneapolis population

10:00

10:00 10:00 10:00 10:00

Wednesday, Wednesday, May April730 Loon’s Loon’s Comedy Comedy Night Night

8:30 8:30

Library Library Karaoke Karaoke

9:00 9:00

Coconut’s Coconut’s Live Live DJ DJ

387,970

9:00

Tuesday, May 6 Tuesday, April 29 Nutbush Nutbush Live DJ Live DJ Popcorn Tavern Popcorn Tavern Paulie Paulie

10:00 10:00

Sly The&Phenomenauts, the Family Stone The AKA's First Avenue Triple Rock Social Club The Young Fiery Jeezy Furnaces The MythWhole Nightclub

Fri., 5/2 Thur., 4/24 Fri., Fri., 5/2 4/25

Greg CloudBrown Cult, Mason Proper Fitzgerald First Avenue Theater

Fri., Sat.,5/2 4/26

Charlie Maya Angelou Parr

Sat., Sun.,5/3 4/27

Madison population

10:00 10:00

Player’s Player’s Karaoke Karaoke

10:00 10:00

Popcorn Popcorn Tavern Tavern Brownie’s Brownie’s Open Open Jam Jam

10:00 10:00

The The Joint Joint Wu-Tang Wu-Tang Wednesday Wednesday

10:00 10:00

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

223,389

Sat., 5/3 Tues., 5/6 Sat., 4/26 Fri., 5/9 Tues., 4/29 Thurs., 5/15 Tues., 5/6 Fri., 5/16 Fri., 5/9 Sat., 5/17

Menomonie

14,937

Kinetix Charlie Parr

The TheWaterfront Waterfront Bar Bar && Grill Grill Tues., Sat., 4/26 5/6

Little Polydypsia Marsh Overﬂow

The TheWaterfront Waterfront Bar Bar && Grill Grill Thurs., Thur., 5/01 5/8

Down KinetixLo

The TheWaterfront Waterfront Bar Bar && Grill Grill

Tues., Tues., 5/13 5/06

Hobo Little Marsh Nephews Overflow of Uncle Frank, Reverend Eddie Danger The Waterfront Bar & Grill Sat., 5/17 The Waterfront Bar & Grill Thur., 5/08

Milwaukee Milwaukee

population population

show? Got a show? us know! know! Let us We'llput putititin,in,yo.yo. We'll

Steez Orchard Lounge Future Rock, Dark Party (featuring Eliot Lipp & Leo123) Tegan & Sara Barrymore Theatre High Noon Saloon The Avett Brothers High Noon Saloon Cartel, Ten Second Epic Majestic Theatre KT Tunstall Barrymore Theatre Tegan & Sara Barrymore Theatre Blind Melon Majestic Theatre The Avett Brothers High Noon Saloon Fareed Haque Memorial Union Terrace

population

Longhorn Longhorn Karaoke Karaoke

J&S TheBean O'Shaughnessy Factory

602,782 602,782

The Presidents of the United States of America Tech N9ne, Paul Wall, Ill Bill The The Rave/Eagles Rave/Eagles Ballroom Ballroom

Mon., Wed.,5/5 4/30

Megadeth Lila Downs

Wed., Thur., 5/7 5/30

The Rave/Eagles Ballroom Latino Arts Auditorium

As Dying of the UnitedThe Rave/Eagles Ballroom Wed., 5/7 TheI Lay Presidents States of America The Rave/Eagles Ballroom Mon., 5/05 Rick Springﬁeld Potawatomi Casino Sat., 5/10 22 April 24, 2008

I'm Jonesin' for a crossword “Box Set”-- prepare to be bowled over.

Answers to Issue 112's "Wiig Party"

By Matt Jones Across 1 They may be capital 6 Pitch a penny 10 5-8 of 26 14 Assortment 15 Too gross to eat 16 Earth mother goddess 17 Dismiss 18 Pizza option 20 Cereal pieces that didn’t make it past quality control? 22 Get ___ for effort (barely try) 23 The Beta Band’s “Dance ___ the Border” 24 “___ potential...” 27 Interstellar measure 30 High mucketymuck 32 Simulate 33 Request demanding rest 36 Out of the office 37 Expected nothing but cereal as payment? 41 “The Wire” character Little 42 Nipple

rings? 43 Blotter substance 44 Pencil number 45 Soccer stadiums 49 Puccini title role for a soprano 51 Stayed out unused 53 Ga-

tor chaser? 54 Swished one’s spoon around the cereal bowl? 59 It’s debatable 61 Language that gave us the word “pajamas” 62 Garage job

63 Get into the game, in a way 64 Jennifer Garner spy-fi drama 65 Coffin stand 66 Take testimony from 67 Suffix for ecto-

Down 1 It gets screwed at the pump 2 Tarot deck grouping 3 Laundry machine with heated rollers 4 Bust-y figure? 5 “Auld Lang ___” 6 CFO or CEO 7 Brown pigment 8 Give yourself a brake? 9 Set to the same time 10 Long-plumed bird 11 Hairstyle pushed up in the middle 12 Troops 13 “You Can Leave Your ___ On” 19 Motherboard component 21 Tetanus spasm 25 Exotic berry in some Snapple flavors 26 “Mr. Roboto” rock group 28 Finish making Kool-Aid 29 Chow down 30 One of 37 cast by Bill Clinton 31 Blow up 34 It equals 100

cents 35 Mao ___-tung 36 Bath butt 37 Chowderhead 38 “Ooooh, ___ scared!” 39 They might be seen pacing in the waiting room 40 Dinghy propeller 44 Waterproof covering 46 Lewis realm 47 Sportswear company that owns Reebok 48 Discrimination of sorts 50 More precious 51 Large guy who can fit in narrow spaces 52 Diet ad caption 55 Wyle of “ER” 56 Trig function 57 Sound of being hit with a newspaper 58 Cash register drawer 59 Pirates’ org. 60 Yes, to Yvette ©2008 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to

this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0355.

Downtown La crosse, above fayze’s - 782-6622

Weekly 9 Ball Tournament on 9' Tables Every Saturday @ 3:00 $10 Entry Fee, 100% Payback

May 1, 2008

La Crosse’s Largest Sports Bar

SATURDAY, MAY 3

FREE B.A. burritos from 9-11 DON’T FORGET...

every Tuesday

- $2.25 Coronas - $2 Shots of Cuervo

tanning and Friday, May 9 massage packages Body & Sol and Bacardi PLUS free Malibu gear BEACH PARTY! $2.50 Malibu Mixers all night

CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERV R RVICE