Issue #75 featuring The Kills

#75 FREE

LIVING EVERY MINUTE LIKE IT'S OVERTIME P.K. SUBBAN MONTREAL DEFENSEMAN

CONTENTS

VOLUME 9 NUMBER 56 ISSUE 75

FEATURES

28 Focus: Robin Waters

34. Fashion: Photography by Jan Snarski and styling by Deanna Palkowski

24. The Kills They call it “murder.”

DEPARTMENTS

CULTURE

MUSIC

18. Alejandro Durán One man’s trash…

48. Kids On A Crime Spree Bay Area Rapid Transmissions.

60. Album Reviews

22. Kate Armstrong

54. The Gay Nineties *Not about Scott Thompson.

61. SelectION: Bleu Nuit.

24. Portland Land of the hefty free pour.

58. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Hands across America.

REGULARS 12. Editor’s Letter “Today I Hate Everyone”

14. Of The Month Water Weezer and the record-pressed death. 63. Horoscopes: Skullbeard and Dr. Ian Super meet you on an abstract plain.

16. ION Style

62. ION The Web

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64. Comics

ION MAGAZINE

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ION

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MAGAZINE

Publisher/Fashion Director Editor in Chief/Music Editor Creative Director Arts Editor Office Manager

Vanessa Leigh vanessa@ionmagazine.ca Trevor Risk trevor@ionmagazine.ca Tyler Quarles tyler@ionmagazine.ca Rachel Zottenberg gallery@ionmagazine.ca Natasha Neale natasha@ionmagazine.ca

@ionmagazine facebook.com/ionmagazine ionmagazine.tumblr.com

Web Editor Douglas Haddow douglas@ionmagazine.ca Design Intern Andrew Palmquist Writers Kate Armstrong, Jay Brown, Chad Buchholz, Gen Handley, Patrick Kriz, Jenna Ledger, Jeremy McAnulty, Kellen Powell, Suzy Sabla, Skullbeard, Dr. Ian Super, Ian Urbanski Photographers and Artists Claude Cardenas, Alan Chan, Shannon Elliot, Owen Ellis, Alan Ganev, Sydney Gregoire, Tom Nugent, Deanna Palkowski, Jan Snarski, Andrea Tiller, Henry Wong ION is printed 10 times a year by the ION Publishing Group. No parts of ION Magazine may be reproduced in any form by any means without prior written consent from the publisher. ION welcomes submissions but accepts no responsibility for the return of unsolicited materials.

All content Š Copyright ION Magazine 2011 Hey PR people, publicists, brand managers and label friends, send us stuff. Youtube album art teasers are making too much e-waste, time-waste, and brain-waste. We prefer getting actual stuff. Butter our biscuits with: band t-shirts, Fruit Stripe Gum, the Criterion collection edition of Juggernaut, CDs, vinyl, Maura Tierney cardboard cutouts, Tony Romo Heimlich Maneuver instructional manuals, Blu-Rays, video games, courage, and iPads can be sent to the address below. #303, 505 Hamilton Street. Vancouver, BC, Canada. V6B 2R1 Office 604.696.9466 Fax: 604.696.9411 feedback@ionmagazine.ca www.ionmagazine.ca | www.facebook.com/ionmagazine @ionmagazine | www.issuu.com/ionmagazine Advertising enquiries can be directed to sales@ionmagazine.ca COVER: The Kills [shot exclusively for ION Magazine] Photography: Alan Chan [alanchanstudio.com ] Photographer's assistants: Henry Wong and Tom Nugent Hair and Make-up: Andrea Tiller using TRESemmÊ Haircare @ NOBUSURA

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issuu.com/ionmagazine

CONTRIBUTORS PHOTOGRAPHER [Claude Cardenas]

Photographer

Claude is a filmmaker and photographer that reluctantly calls the Central Valley of California his home. He shot photos of Kids On A Crime Spree for this issue. He has been an active supporter of the independent music scene since 2001 and has produced his own video zine entitled Pop Song Romance for nearly 10 years.

More information about Claude can be found at his tumblr site.

Having shot The Gay Nineties for this issue, Owen Ellis and Sydney Gregoire share their artistic recipe.

[allthegirlsieverloved.tumblr.com]

WRITER [Owen Ellis + Sydney Gregoire] [Suzy Sabla]

1 cup dream diary 1 ½ cups workaholism ½ cup booze ½ cup fondling ¼ cup awesome friends + family 1 tbsp camera gear 1 tsp props dash of luck serves the public. [owenellis.tumblr.com] [trifectavancouver.tumblr.com] @sydneygregoire

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Suzy Sabla just spent half a year studying art history and wandering the streets of Berlin taking photos in a drunken daze in her spare time. She is a stylist, a writer, and lead singer of Junior Major. She loves pretty floral dresses and high heels so much that when she wears jeans people ask her if she's okay. She is, but she'll never admit that sometimes she plays “November Rain” on repeat while crying.

WRITER [Ian Urbanski]

Ian Urbanski works as an environmental scientist as a day job. Why on earth he figured himself qualified to write this month’s selectION about sex on television with any sort of authority is a mystery. He’d like you to know that he tried really hard on it, so back off. He’d also like you to stop asking him how tall he is.

And, I mean, if he’s sitting around wishing for things, he’d also like a damn burrito, damn it. @ianurbanski

BRANDS BRANDS WE WE CARRY: BRANDS WE CARRY: CARRY BRANDS WE CARRY: BRANDS WE CARRY: BRANDS WE CARRY: BRANDS WE BRANDS WE CARRY FOR FALL: BRANDS WE CARRY: CARRY: BRANDS WE CARRY: FOR FALL:

CANADA’S NEWEST ONLINE MODERN LIFESTYLE BOUTIQUE CANADA’S CANADA’S NEWEST ONLINE MODERN LIFESTYLE BOUTIQUE CANADA’S NEWEST NEWEST ONLINE MODERN LIFESTYLE BOUTIQUE CANADA’S NEWEST ONLINE ONLINEMODERN MODERNLIFESTYLE LIFESTYLEBOUTIQUE BOUTIQUE CANADA’S NEWEST ONLINE MODERN LIFESTYLE BOUTIQUE CANADA’S NEWEST ONLINE ONLINEMODERN MODERNLIFESTYLE LIFESTYLEBOUTIQUE BOUTIQUE CANADA’S NEWEST

'Pumpkin Centipede' - LUNCHBREATH

EDITOR’S LETTER

O

ctober is here and no matter your age or profession, it only means one thing: Halloween. It doesn’t mean Canadian Thanksgiving, or John Lennon’s birthday, or Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (October 15th), it’s just Halloween (or Hallowe’en depending on your views), and holy smokes do I hate it. Of course, that makes me a total killjoy to even the stuffiest late night hip human. And it doesn’t matter that I’ve put up with ridicule more than once for wearing a pink sweater and red bowtie on St. Valentine’s Day, I’m still seen as the ultimate contrarian; a man too cool for creepy Christmas.

Honestly, I guess I am. I mean if you ask me on a Sunday afternoon if I want to put on a grass skirt and lei and drink my aging face off, I’m

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your man (as long as my NFL team isn’t playing or playing particularly well, which is every Sunday). I’m not beyond dressing like Bugs Bunny to pick you up from the airport, and if I’m being completely honest, more than half the week I’m trying my hardest to dress like Bobby Gillespie circa 1991. Then why my aversion to the one day of the year that’s acceptable to put on a cape and fishnets and drink more than twice my weight in bourbon?

Maybe it’s because the population treat October 31st like it’s a warm up to New Year’s Eve; an excuse to set off firecrackers in my alley and make my cat shit herself (or rather shit on the carpet). “Sorry, I can’t work tomorrow.

Tonight I’m going to be barfing all over my sexy iPhone costume.” Have some responsibility!

You’re an adult! Only writers/DJs like me are allowed to not shave for weeks and stay up until 5AM on a Tuesday! God, I am a killjoy, and on top of that I guess it turns out I’m greedy. I want all the hedonism for myself.

I remember now. This all started in the autumn of ’88. My dear old mum sent me to school dressed as a doggie. I got halfway down the block before my tiny, underdeveloped shame sent me home blushing. I didn’t want to be a doggie! I didn’t care that she spent that morning making ears out of coat hangers and pantyhose.

I was too old to be a pet! I ran upstairs, put on a Hawaiian shirt, painted on a beard and decided I was a precocious interpretation of what I thought Dennis Wilson looked like; a subversive costume for a 28 year old music

journalist, let alone a child. Mum reacted with the only way a mum could, a look that could only be described as an alloy of disappointment and bewilderment.

I wonder if this issue’s artists The Kills or The Gay Nineties feel the same? They spend most of their days dressed in either women’s clothes or black leather stage attire. Then again, they’re kind of famous and I’m just a crabby drunk. Crabby drunk. I just figured out this year’s costume. Anybody with a foam crab outfit email me.

-Trevor Risk Editor in Chief

When you have a serious food allergy, birthday cake is just one more thing you can’t have. Visit anaphylaxis.ca

OF THE MONTH

SUPER 8 There are a handful of movies that make me instantly wish I grew up in a different time.

Dazed and Confused will, without fail, always make me wish I were entering senior year in 1976. Almost Famous makes me feel that I’d be able to get by being an uncool 15-year old in 1973. This summer, after seeing Super 8, after having my usual pangs of desire to have grown up in the 70s, this movie made me wish that I had seen this movie as a 10-year old.

This Spielberg-produced Spielberg clone of a movie would have drawn me in so hard when I was a youngster that I can feel my 10-year old self telling current me that it’s totally okay to love this movie. -Ian Urbanski

EVERYDAY SUNSHINE: THE STORY OF FISHBONE There’s no other band that deserves fame more than Fishbone. They were the first in a series of bands out of California in the eighties to develop the ska/funk/metal sound, and they did it best. If you’ve ever seen Fishbone live you know two things: they still create a seething mass better than anybody, and Angelo Moore thinks the fame gods ripped him off. This new documentary from filmmakers Lev Anderson and Chris Metzler chronicles the troubles and strains of the not famous band. Oh, and the best part is it’s narrated by Laurence Fishburne.

ODD FUTURE + ADULT SWIM Adult Swim has picked up a show from Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All? Actually, ignore that question mark because that makes perfect sense. I can't believe I didn't realize sooner exactly what OFWGKTA are: 20 year olds who watched way too much Adult Swim when they were teenagers. This show is just OFWGKTA's next step in trying to actually become the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Loiter is being produced by the men responsible for Jackass; Johnny Knoxville and Spike Jonze and will feature music, pranks, sketches and man-on-the-street segments. It would be a lot cooler if it were a cartoon.

-Kellen Powell

CELEBSWITHNOEYEBROWS.COM This is exactly what it sounds like. It’s not deep. It’s not particularly designed well. It’s just photos of celebrities with their eyebrows removed. Is it worth bookmarking? Probably not.

Are you going to go through all of them and forward your favourites to your best buddy?

Wait, are you surprised? I can’t tell.

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OF THE MONTH

WRECKED I tend to prefer protagonists that are able to stand up and walk around and do things in movies. I still haven't seen My Left Foot, regardless of how good I know its supposed to be, because I just don't see how a movie about a person with limited movement can be interesting. They can't actually do anything, and the things they can do take soooooo long.

It’s the same reason I won't see that movie where Ryan Reynolds is trapped in the box.

That said, Adrien Brody's character in this movie spends most his time injured and trapped in a car after a wreck in the middle of the woods. I didn't think I would enjoy it - because of the aforementioned predilection toward walking and moving in movies - but nonetheless found it intellectually and emotionally satisfying, well paced and well acted. Plus it has a mountain lion. -Kellen Powell

ANDVINYLY.COM Unless you’re Chris Lambert, you’re going to die. It’s about time you decided what’s to be done with your earthly remains. Having your ashes spread along the seawall where you had your first kiss is boring. Now with andvinyly.com you have the chance to press those ashes into a vinyl recording of your choice. Make a soundtrack, record a Superchunk cover, or a creepy message that will haunt your annoying neighbour who never stopped playing “I’m Blue” at full volume on Sunday mornings. “Andvinyly.com! Live on from beyond the groove!”

AKAI ANALOG CUSTOM SHOP GUITAR PEDALS We know that you like to use Boss pedals because even if you’re stuck in Vernon, BC on tour you’ll be able to replace them at any music store. Consider the new line of Akai Analaog Custom pedals, designed to deliver the sound quality of boutique guitar pedals.

Analog Delay, Drive3Fuzz, Flanger, it’s all there, and it’s your chance to find a sound that isn’t easily heard on a Puddle Of Mudd release. You love your MT-2 Metal Zone, but nobody finds your ironic, nineties shredder image funny anymore.

THE WEEZER CRUISE – JANUARY 19-23 Weezer isn’t cool anymore. They make snuggies, cover Toni Braxton, feature their music in Disney movies, and Matt Sharp hasn’t been in the band in over a decade. Getting on a boat with the current lineup might sound like hell/jail, but with guests including Yuck, Dinosaur Jr., Sebadoh, Wavves, Free Energy and features like a Pat Wilson shuffleboard tournament and Scott Shriner renewing couple’s wedding vows, you may want to think about setting sail with the current version of Weezer because “The sea is foamin’ like a bottle of beer.”

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ION STYLE

Photography: Alan Chan Styling: Toyo Tsuchiya @ Judy Inc. Makeup and Hair by: Andrea Tiller using TRESemmĂŠ Haircare @ NOBUSURA Models: Stephen @ Rad Kids by NOBASURA Jacket and hoodie: COMUNE T-shirt: Lifetime Collective Jeans: Mavi Boots: Aldo Watch: Vestal Toque: Lifetime Collective

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CULTURE ALEJANDRO DURÁN

GARBAGE DAY Words: Patrick Kriz

Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Heart, yes I am talking about Captain Planet. Many people associate environmentalism with gloom-and-doom predictions about the planet and how we are failing it. Art can be created from many recycled materials and found objects. Recycling in art is not a new trend.

Used canvases, for instance, were commonly painted over to create new works of art in the past, however, the modern phenomenon of creating art from recycled materials goes a lot further. Since climate change is a serious issue, many artists, architects and other designers are working on small and large scale green projects that both consider the effect of artistic materials on the environment and help spark discussion on this issue. While the direct impact of a given artwork or design may be small, the cumulative result of multiple efforts in “green art” is visible and grows bigger with every creative and sustainable art project or design.

Washed Up is an ongoing project by Mexican-born, New Yorkbased artist Alejandro Durán. The project began in February of 2010

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and proceeded with Durán making several trips to the UNESCO World Heritage site; Sian Ka’an. This coast is home to a ton of plant life as well as the world’s second largest coastal barrier reef. Regrettably, Sian Ka’an is also a depository for much of the world’s garbage, carried there by ocean currents from every corner of the globe. Durán has created several color-based, site-specific sculptures on these banks demonstrating this clash between the hands of mother-nature and Man’s mess. He then photographs these sculptures, echoing the organic forms of the surrounding landscape. This stunning project and photo series addresses the issue of plastic pollution that's making its way across the ocean where it inevitably washes onto the shores of Sian Ka’an, Mexico’s largest federally-protected reserve. Throughout his work Durán has identified products washed ashore from forty-two nations on six continents. The resulting photo series shows how even undeveloped land is not safe from the far-reaching impact of our disposable culture. This isn't just

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about an artist turning trash into treasure. Washed Up speaks to the environmental concerns of our time and its vast quantity of discarded materials.

The new world of “garbage art” exemplifies that creativity which still blooms in every aspect of human life. In fact, often the best facilities do not nurture creativity and ideas, but rather it is the scarcity of things that gives birth to new ideas and art. Art from recycled materials and found objects is a great alternative to mass produced art. Each piece is likely to be truly individual and one of a kind. But for a very long time, the idea of recycled art did seem to be challenged in the results department.

I remember attending a recycled art show, and really feeling like gluing junk to other junk which still resulted in junk – with glue!

Maybe it’s sense of humor or a perhaps a slightly twisted mind, but “garbage artists” are able to take everyday objects that

are broken or discarded and mold them into a visual assault.

Scrap metal, wire, old toys or bottle caps become the stuff of which these fascinating dreams/nightmares are made. One project took advantage of the mass produced enviro hazard: The Empty Water Bottle. A truly unique idea is on display in North Evanston, Illinois. The work is formed from 6000 recycled plastic bottles tipped over on a large grass field to construct five 16-foot giant bottles. Guests to the exhibit are asked to slip messages inside the small bottles for other guests to read. This project is not only an interesting community project but interactive as well. Sometimes artwork can be done purely for the joy of it, with no method or meaning. Scrap metal parts and pieces are often a favorite industrial art medium. Although immobile, these whimsical pieces seem to have personalities that pop.

If you have ever been to the art store to buy materials, then

it is clear that they don’t come cheap. People like to accumulate a lot of stuff. Some of this stuff we need, and some of it we do not. The things and stuff we do not want, need or require, accumulate. Garbage bins, dumpsters and landfills are all filling up, when there are other things that can be done with those materials we are quick to throw away. While many “garbage artists” use trash to create their artworks for simple aesthetic purpose, or value, some artists use found materials to make direct statements about the nature of waste in our society while others employ recycled materials simply to get us to think about ordinary objects in a new and different way.

Durán's project and a full collection of photos can be seen at www.washed-up-project.com

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CULTURE KATE ARMSTRONG

WHO WANTS A BRAIN MASSAGE? Words: Kate Armstrong

I’m working on a new book project for an exhibition by Year Zero One in Toronto. The exhibition, medium_massage2.0: an infinite inventory, is curated by Michael Alstad and is concerned with contemporary perspectives on the ideas and creative processes illustrated in Marshall McLuhan and Quentin Fiore’s 1967 book The Medium is the Massage.

There have been a lot of projects this year relating to Marshall McLuhan because people are using the 100th anniversary of his birth as an occasion to re-examine his legacy and his contributions to media studies, culture, and art.

I chose to look at this by making a book called Medium. In the project I’ve taken as a starting point the physical qualities of The Medium is the Massage, which is an iconic work in graphic design for the way it dealt with the relationship between text and image. In that book, McLuhan’s short texts about the nature of media and the effects of media on human experience are matched with Fiore’s imagery, which invites interpretation on the part of the reader. It has been observed that the book acts on the human senses in a similar way as media, for example, bombarding viewers with textual and graphic information and making it necessary for a person to do a lot of mental switching around on the level of meaning as a way to make sense of things.

When Michael invited me to make a new project dealing with The Medium is the Massage, I decided to deal with this aspect of it.

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What I’ve done is essentially make a new edition of Fiore’s book by matching the pages of the original with similar images from the internet. Each page of the original has been fed into Google, which uses an algorithm to find similarity from within the chaotic mass of images and documents on the internet.

The algorithm is working on the level of compositional similarity so that visual pattern, rather than the meaning or context, is what drives the match. It means that when Fiore’s page features a short text next to a fingerprint, and is fed into Google, it comes back with a map of the streets near Lake Winnebago and an 1854 musical score for a song called "Happy Land". The computer finds the spidery black and white lines in all three.

Because it is a graphical search, pages from the original that show mostly text are matched with texts from the internet and are on any subject, and this has been funny. For example, I am seeing a lot of inter-office memos come back. The machine looks at a page and returns another page that might have similar paragraph breaks, or something the same in the overall visual information from the scan. So this process transposes the text of the book as well.

There is something I like about that. It is very associative, and for me, it gets to the essence of the networked media landscape, which is so different than it was in the 1960s. In this version,

the book is compiled by the network and through the network.

The images have been added by people over time and have accumulated. The whole thing is formed out of random human documents like wedding photographs, powerpoint graphics or photographs of refrigerators, and these documents are being strung together by an automatic process. I find something eerie about this book as recompiled by a machine. Fiore’s version was so highly designed and considered, whereas this version is loose, imperfect, impressionistic.

The original book is 168 pages. I’ve taken each page and matched it multiple times, keeping the pages in order, so the new version of the book is three times that. Doing it this way is like the original book is blowing up.

The book can be ordered in print form as well as downloaded at katearmstrong.com.

The exhibition medium_massage2.0: an infinite inventory, features work from Kate Armstrong, Myfanwy Ashmore, Jeremy Bailey, David Jhave Johnston, Willy Le Maitre, Martine Neddam, Rafael Rozendaal, Cheryl Sourkes, Donna Szoke and KD Thornton can be found http://year01/mediummassage

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CULTURE PORTLAND

PORT AND CIGARS Words and Photography: Jenna Ledger

What do bacon covered doughnuts, green tea beer, strip clubs and farm-to-table restaurants have in common?

A little place called, Portland. Much like the bran-muffinhippy-jam society Portlandia portrays, Portland's restaurant culture and nightlife is shockingly progressive for a society supposedly stuck in the 90s. If hoarder-like vintage stores and microbreweries run by goatee sporting bald dudes sounds like your type of haven, then Portland is a perfect west coast getaway.

If this is beginning to sound like an episode of Wayne's World that never ended, think again. Portland is actually an adventurous, forward thinking, surprisingly sexy and completely laid back city. If it were a person it would be that girl that lets you go all the way but will never let you call her your girlfriend.

I headed to Portland via Amtrak and found myself in

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downtown Portland eight long hours later. Yes, the train is slow but they allow you to bring your bike on for a small extra fee and the cost of the ticket is a quarter of what you'd be paying in fuel fees, and you can drink cheap American beer along the way.

The great charm about Portland is it’s full of modernly renovated boutique hotels, most of which are restored heritage buildings converted into affordable suites. We opted for the Jupiter for its central location and 50s motel decor. Our room overlooked the restaurant courtyard and provided chalkboard doors encouraging you to display your artistic abilities or what I later discovered to express your sexual orientation. I was later told it was an open door policy.

Draw your sexual symbol of what you are open for, and the swingers from downstairs or joining rooms are welcome to enter at your invitation.

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CULTURE

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Once you're settled and have rightfully stated your sexual preference there's plenty of amazing spots to indulge in what Portland does best, food. Another convenient aspect of the Jupiter is that you're surrounded by some of Portland's hottest eateries.

We started at Biwa which is a farm-to-table izakaya-style restaurant with a beautiful patio and incredibly dangerous cocktail list. What actually blew my mind about this place were the piedmontese beef lettuce wraps which were delicately placed on a bed of house grown shiso. The rest of their menu is equally as impressive. If Japanese isn't your bag, around the corner is the divinely popular, Le Pigeon, providing traditional French cuisine combined with a casual modern aesthetic. If you're looking for a rich and savory place to have a romantic dinner, this is the spot. With its warm candle lighting and fabulous selection of wine, you'll be fondling your sweetheart French style by the time your sweetbreads arrive. Further east along Burnside you'll find Laurelhurst Market, a delicious steakhouse inspired brasserie that quite possibly has the best bacon infused kale dish I have ever ingested.

When you've had your fill of decadent treats and are looking for something to stimulate your pulse, Portland's Hawthorn District is littered with microbrewery/pubs which have the most incredible beer selection I have come across this side of Europe. Green Dragon Bistro and Pub's green tea mead punched my taste buds in the mouth. I could have filled up a barrel of the stuff 20s prohibition style and smuggled it home with me, it was bloody sublime. South of the neighborhood resides the

Apex which contains over 150 different beers and doesn't serve anything else, nada, not even food. Be sure to bring your ID with you, because even if you're forty and sporting a fading glory mullet, their bartenders there say if you don't have plastic you don't get service. Oh and don't forget your sharpie, cause tagging the bathroom is totally encouraged.

If you're looking to discover some of the local music scene there's plenty of venues to be explore. I stumbled across Holocene, a multilevel venue that seemed to promote spooky style music and perfectly mixed Negronis. They're known for catering to up and coming indie bands highlighting gritty infused garage rock that will have you dancing to your shoes until the wee hours. And when you're finally ready to call it a night, Doug Fir, conveniently located under the Jupiter hotel, has a new act performing nightly. And if you miss the first 20 minutes of a show, they'll usually wave the cover charge; not a bad incentive when you're staggering home after a night of indulgence and debauchery.

A great way to sweat out your hangover and discover the inner city delights is to cruise around on bikes. Whether you brought your own or rent from one of the multiple rental shops, Portland's landscape is primarily flat, so even if you're completely energy sucked, riding around the neighborhoods is, like the rest of this city, pretty darn laid back. While you're riding around be sure to check out the plethora of food trucks scattered around the city, another colorful insight into Portland's food scene. There is also no lack of amazing taco spots in this city either. If you have an hour or more to eat, I recommend

standing in an insanely long line at Por Que No? and indulging in one of their in house prepared juices and traditional tacos. If you're downtown and looking for a taco fix, Santeria (located on the West side of Chinatown) provides a day-of-the-dead style decor and a bartender that does anything but skimp out on the booze. I'm pretty sure there was about five ounces in my first drink. Be sure to check out the bathrooms here, when you think you've reached the lavatory at the end of the establishment you may actually find yourself transported into the oldest strip club in Portland, Mary's Club. It's really quite amazing. One minute you're eating tacos the next minute you're in a dark room listening to Courtney Love while observing a stripper with three other old men playing video lottery games. It’s like the sexy Narnia you've always dreamed of.

To end your day on a relaxed note I recommend catching a movie at the Living Room Theater. It's an independent movie house equipped with a healthy food menu ranging from cheese plates to truffles, and a full bar. The films they screen are unconventional and usually independently produced. And if film is your forte they encourage submissions of shorts and features to be considered for full or pre-show screenings. Why isn't every independent film community like this? I asked myself the same thing.

When it comes to film, art, food and nightlife, Portland does it better than the rest. It truly is the place where the young go to retire. So if you're young, moderately ambitious and in need of a cultural punch in the face, head to Oregon's east coast and take part in the cultural excursion outside of the 90s.

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FOCUS ROBIN WATERS CHECK OUT MORE AT [ROBIN-WATERS.COM]

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Robin Waters is a self-taught Southern Ontario photographer who uses her camera to tell stories and perspectives. She drives a turquoise 67' Mercury Meteor and feeds off the energy of the people she photographs, in return they get something to believe in.

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FOCUS ROBIN WATERS

FOCUS ROBIN WATERS

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FASHION

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— NOW IN —

IONOSCOPE

PHOTO:

JAN SNARSKI @ JANSNARSKI.COM | PRODUCED BY: VANESSA LEIGH STYLING: DEANNA PALKOWSKI @ LIZBELL HAIR AND MAKE-UP: ASHLEY GESNER USING TRESEMMÉ HAIRCARE @ LIZBELL MODELS: CHLOE/ CHRISTIE B/ DAVID @ RAD KIDS BY NOBASURA

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Christy B: Backpack:

Jansport Jacket: Ragwear Shirt: Levi's Tank dress: Sitka Jeans: One Green Elephant Shoes: H&M Bracelet: Uranium Chloe: Leggings: Sitka T-shirt: One Green Elephant Sweater: Sitka Hat: Sitka Scarf: Sitka Shoes: H&M David: Jacket: Penfield Scarf: Cottonfield Hat: Gant Jeans: Sitka Shoes: Timberland

Vest:

Levi's Hoodie: Brixton

MUSIC THE KILLS

FLOWERS IN THE DUSTBIN Words: Gen Handley Photography: Alan Chan

“Hi, can I please speak to Barry Hansen?” I ask the man over the phone.

“Barry Hansen?” the attendant replies with a thick Mexican accent. “Just a moment.”

A few seconds later, Jamie Hince, one half of The Kills, is on the line sounding pleasant, but tired in his Mexico City hotel room.

Since getting married to Kate Moss in July, traveling under a pseudonym has become an unfortunate reality for the British guitarist who has been tracked in his hotel room by tabloid journalists, seeking quotes for their attempts at newsgathering.

“Yeah, I’ve had tabloid journalists who knew where I was staying, call up to my room and start asking stupid questions,” he says with some embarrassment. “It’s too bad.”

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MUSIC But aside from the rather rock-and-roll intro I have had with this man, Hince is a humble (and excited) musician who dearly adores the band and the chemistry that he shares with singer Alison Mosshart.

Hince met Mosshart at a flat in London more than 10 years ago, where she was staying on the floor below while on tour from the US with her punk band, Discount. Mosshart remembers those times well.

“I was touring England quite a bit with my first band and it happened that he had two roommates who lived downstairs below him,” Mosshart recalls. “One was Ben and he drove vans for bands and worked at Southern [Records] in London. The other one, Sean, who worked at Rough Trade, he booked punk tours. So we all knew these people and they brought us over and I stayed with them on the floor. Ben drove us, Sean booked the tour and Jamie lived upstairs and always played the guitar. He’d come down and have coffee and toast with us in the morning and we became friends that way. But I would hear him playing guitar all the time and he was just the coolest fucking person I had ever met. And he had the weirdest style of guitar playing I had ever heard. It was awesome and I loved listening to it.”

“I was making music and playing guitar all day and I didn’t know that she was sitting on the steps outside my window listening to me play,” Hince says. “She finally plucked up some courage to come talk to me and that was it.”

This spark of a relationship that ignited over music, coffee, and toast in that London apartment is obvious in their songs, but has become almost tactile in their visceral live shows, with Mosshart feverishly crooning to Hince’s bluesy, texturized riffs and the steadfast drum machine beating in the dim background.

So who wears the proverbial pants in this relationship?

“I think we share the trousers,” Hince answers diplomatically.

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“But in the studio, it’s definitely me. I’m a fucking nightmare in the studio. Sometimes I get brutally manic about writing songs and sometimes I’ll get really low about it. It’s pretty unhealthy stuff. But you go and watch us play and she’s definitely wearing the trousers on stage.”

Mosshart has a different answer.

“It’s hard to say,” she says with a laugh. “We really complement and balance each other. Like, I’m a lot more organized than him.”

This balance that they bring to their lives and their music is what makes The Kills work so well together. Mosshart is a little more spontaneous, wearing her heart and emotions on both sleeves and Hince, while genuine, seems to be more interested in the devil that’s lurking in the details, the quantifiables of dayto-day business.

“Jamie’s really secretive – he doesn’t show anyone anything that he’s written except for maybe me,” Mosshart says about songwriting. “I’m not throw-away about stuff, but I’m also not precious. He’ll hold onto a song for a really long time where I will play it for somebody.”

“He needs someone like me to be like, ‘Play me the fucking

song. Please, I want to hear it,’” she continues with a laugh.

“Meanwhile, he’s behind a locked door in a soundproof booth, rocking out.”

“It’s much easier with two people. I’ve been in bands with more than two people before and there’s always a case of trying to reach a consensus – I think it can water the music down,” Hince says. “I think you have to be an anarchist in politics, but you have to be a fascist in art. When Allison comes up with a song, then the bits missing from it, I’ve always managed to have those parts. There’s times when she’s written half the song and I’ve written half and they’ve just fit together perfectly. I don’t know where it comes from. I suppose you just know when you’ve met the right person. I’m grateful for that all of the time.”

Although The Kills’ sound may not be for everyone, their songs are lacking in pretention and are accessible to almost everyone because of what inspires them. Both Hince and Mosshart have an interest in taking the normal, the taken-for-granted of everyday life and finding music in that.

“Some days you walk along the street and you see pavement and chewing gum and just bits of litter,” Hince explains, “And then some days you walk along the same street and you see the chewing gum in the shape of a heart – you see beauty in all of that. That’s the thing that twists everyday things into inspiration to write something. It’s the flowers in the dustbin that inspire me.”

“I tend to write about people and their interactions with each other,” Mosshart adds. “And confusion too. Like, people not knowing what the fuck to do. That endlessly inspires me because I’m exactly the same way. I write about normal, everyday things.”

On stage, the duo shares the same mindset as well.

“I lose my mind,” Hince says. “Those are my favourite gigs when I can’t really remember. It’s times when just

before we go on, I’m really nervous and I start thinking, ‘What’s the second note of Heart is a Beating Drum?’ I cannot think of it. And then I get on stage with a guitar and it’s just natural – there’s just an instinct for it. My favourite gigs are when I’m not thinking about anything and I’m just lost in it.”

Mosshart echoes her bandmate’s sentiment.

“I don’t really think too much on stage – it’s the last place to think. If I’m thinking on stage, something is wrong. Like, something’s breaking, something sounds bad, there’s something weird in the air or I’m really tired and I’m thinking, ‘How the fuck am I going to do this next song? I don’t know.’”

It is this conviction they have in each other and their songs that appears to be the compass in the band’s unmapped journey.

It is this rooted confidence in spontaneity of music that makes their shows so exciting and even led to them to picking the moniker they now both perform under.

“We sat opposite of each other with typewriters, a duelingtypewriter thing, and we’d tap away in a stream of consciousness, coming up with different names,” Hince describes, like it happened that afternoon. “After a day of doing it, 'The Kills' was the last thing on the sheet of paper and I showed Allison. She said, ‘Yep, that’s it.’”

Ever since the typewriter duel, Mosshart says life has been good.

“I couldn’t live without it. I don’t want to,” says Mosshart, who also sings and plays in the Dead Weather with Jack White. “It

can be really hard sometimes, really frustrating and really tiring, but it’s the most exciting, fulfilling most wonderful thing as well.

Every time I go on stage or I go on a tour bus, I’m reminded that this is what I get to do with my life. It’s so cool because I have a way of expressing myself, I have a way of doing art and communicating with the world.”

She pauses to think about it a little more.

“That’s really hard to do - to find that thing, you know?”

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MUSIC KOACS

SUPER DUPER MARIO Words: Trevor Risk Photography: Claude Cardenas

Being a revisionist isn’t new. In fact, today one can be a revisionist inspired by revisionists of decades past. Mario Hernandez of Kids On A Crime Spree isn’t just a revisionist, he’s an originalist. Hit over the head with a copy of the Phil Spector box set Back to Mono while in Sweden, this Oakland songsmith has made a perfect record for anybody sick of digital interpretations of arch top classics. He explained to ION not just why he made his new album We Love You So Bad, but how he made it with the help of one mic and one Mike.

You’re from Oakland and have been in the scene there for a long time. Do you know legendary zine writer Aaron Cometbus?

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My ex-girlfriend, who I adorably refer to as ‘Pigface’, and Aaron were friends. He gave her his old dreadlocks so she could Super Glue them to her scalp. Every time I ran my hands through her hair it would be super rough and would creep me out because I knew I was touching Aaron’s hair.

Apart from the music, what’s the greatest difference between this band and your previous bands Ciao Bella or From Bubblegum To Sky? I really love these songs. I hate saying these things because it’s cliché, but sometimes you have to shed things that you really believe in in order to assert yourself as a songwriter. I think that’s what I kind of did. The songs in Ciao Bella and From

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Bubblegum To Sky, that’s the way I naturally write songs, but these other songs that I was writing are more kind of like a less-is-more approach. I was trying to write really good, ballady, really simple chord progressions and record them well. I stopped writing how I naturally write and tried to write in a different way.

It was a little harder for me, but I enjoy these songs much more than I do the older ones even though the older ones are great, it’s just that they’re much more immediate and more fun to play on stage. You can jump up and down when you play them because you’re inspired to do that, whereas Ciao Bella and From Bubblegum To Sky were just more thought out or something. It didn’t have the same sort of energy.

Do you worry about running out of gas as you get older?

I do sometimes but here’s a great example: Mike Slumberland puts out this record. He is getting older, in fact he’s a couple years older than I am, but his taste in music is getting better, or at least he still has that ability to figure out what is good. And sometimes I think writing songs is like that too. You have to have great taste. I guess if I lose that and start listening to Bob Marley, then I’m in trouble.

Is eight songs an EP? Doesn’t this count as a full length but without three songs of filler?

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I don’t like recording songs I don’t believe in, so I just thought ‘These songs are good, let’s put it out,’ and I definitely wanted to do that. Mike said ‘Hey I’ll put out the record,’ and it was out three months after that.

What’s your experience so far being on Slumberland?

Because we’re both [Mike] from the same area of Oakland, even before all this I’ve liked a lot of his bands like Rocket Ship and Henry’s Dress and stuff back in the nineties and I’ve really been a fan of his label. You know when you’re a kid and you have these fantasies of being on a label that you’d like to be on and be proud of and not like you’re ‘on a label’? Slumberland is that kind of label where you’re like ‘Yeah, I’m on Slumberland' and I know that sounds kinda weird but for me it is a point of pride.

Do Slumberland bands or sixties pop acts inspire you more?

I’m a bigger fan of his older stuff. I mean there are great bands on his label now, I just don’t listen to other people that much. I like listening to older things and try to think ‘That’s the classics I wanna be more about’ than what’s happening now. I like sixties pop more, and American pop stuff and so I really tend to like that classic songwriting. Even though I know Mike is really into Sarah Records and stuff like that, I’ve never listened to it. I’m not very inspired by British eighties stuff, which I think a lot of

Slumberland bands are.

What’s the secret to Kids’ production? How do you corral those raucous sounds into a sugar sweet song?

Mostly in the past I was really into making sure everything was mic’d correctly and all this sort of stuff, but what I did with this was that with the drums I mostly recorded everything with one mic and everything was recorded from far away. I really got into the old Beatles recordings where everything is close mic’d, like every snare is close mic’d, every guitar is mic’d close with a mic right into the speaker and I did none of that on this record. Literally I used one mic, that was my expensive mic, and I put it four feet away and just did all that far away recording reminiscent of back in the day when people would actually try to get the sound of the room instead of the sound of the guitar amp itself. That’s what I think the trick is. It was hard for me to get the right kind of distortion sound. I wanted it to sound like over-reaching amps but like back in the day when amps weren’t made very well, so when you push those amps they have a certain sound, where a new set of amps can’t do that.

They just sound clean. What I mean by ‘clean’ is ‘sterile’ and I definitely didn’t want that. I wanted everything to sound like it was older equipment and how beautiful it can sound to get that room sound and then add a little reverb. Everything was recorded in one take. I wanted to record a performance versus recording cuts like people do now. I heard some stories of big bands who when they record and are trying to sell millions of records, when they record the bass drum they get the best bass drum sound you can possibly get then they use a trigger to make that sound.

So if the drummer is even a little late or didn’t hit the drum in the right volume it doesn’t matter because it’s all the same sound. Basically it’s kind of like digital recording. To me, all those new bands, their drums and everything sound like movies; so produced that it doesn’t have any life, whereas I think me and a lot of older records, you hear some notes that are out of tune and you hear the drums jumping in and not sounding compressed.

You can hear some things louder than another, and you can hear the voice flex. Today a lot of music just sounds flat, like watching a flat screen TV. It’s lifeless. I wanted to do the opposite, but I also couldn’t afford to do any of the other stuff anyway because I’m recording everything on reel to reel tape. I just wanted to

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make sure that it sounded like what a band might sound like, because it’s definitely not overproduced.

There are some surf elements on the album.

That’s what people have been saying.

So it wasn’t intentional?

No, not at all. I wanted it to sound like “Loco-Motion.” I wanted it to have that vibe. I was actually listening to the radio and heard Dick Dale and those guys doing a live set and when they do it live it sounds punk rock. It doesn’t sound like the recordings sound, like cheesy, but when they play live, the guitars were distorting, the guitars were pounding. At first when I heard people say it [the album] sounded surf-y, after I heard those live recordings I thought ‘Cool!’ because those recordings have guts.

Well a lot of those bands that inspire you were trying to make everything sound perfect with sessions musicians but with some of the recording artists, like the Sonics or Jerry Lee Lewis the live stuff is better. So it makes sense that you would try and capture performance rather that perfection on this record.

Absolutely, because the truth of the matter is that I’m not that great of a player anyway, and nor am I a perfectionist so I wanted to capture what I do best. What’s missing in a lot of contemporary bands is you hear the coolness of the band but you never hear the urgency of the band. There’s an urgency when you’re very desperate to prove what you’re trying to do is good and that comes across in the playing.

I definitely want to record that. I want that to be displayed

on the tape. I actually am a little desperate and I’m trying to do a good job.

I guess there’s a desperation when recording to a tape machine rather than a computer.

Oh my god, absolutely. The thing is people always say ‘Just punch in.’ When you start punching in you really can hear that you’re punching in. People can’t hold notes that long and I think it’s really important to try and do one take. If you compare one take to another full take then you have the best of the urgency, instead of something sterile and so square which I think happens a lot now and I can’t really get into that. Most of the time I like when the band plays live anyway, and I like their live interpretation of it.

If you’re trying to capture a performance on this record, does that mean that you’re more partial to playing live anyway?

Is that what you think of when you start a band or start a record?

No not at all. I don’t particularly like playing live. Playing live isn’t my strong suit, but to capture it on recording is kinda cool. When you’re recording you have these moments where you get goose bumps because you do something beyond your ability and I like to capture that on tape for myself. When I write a song and hit a note I get this feeling that’s really special when you’re playing it on tape. I’m using the recording to write songs so I’ll put down a drum track first then I’ll put a bass track down and guitars and start figuring out what will go on top of that. I’m kind of making it up as I go along so basically as soon as I discover

something, I’m putting it on tape. That way you have the best, newest feeling, and that way I feel you can tell that it’s not something that’s practiced and has been played for twenty months. Something real is what I’m trying to go after.

I used to be in bands with people who just wanted to rework stuff and it just never sounded great. Something that you have a spark for should immediately be put down and put on to tape and not worked on so much until the life flies out of it. You know what a really great example of a song is? Do you know “Common People” by Pulp, and how it speeds up?

Throughout the whole song it starts slow and then it goes into this fiery, speeding crash that happens. That’s great and it’s so real and they didn’t use click track on it because it’s speeding up and the band is rushing through. It’s almost to a point where you think they’re rushing a little too fast. But because of that, the song really works in that way, and I think that a song hasn’t been written in a while that has that sort of feeling. You can tell that the band is so inspired because it’s a great song and they want to hurry up and put it on tape. I think that’s what I’m trying to go after. Imagine the first time Carole King showed the guys ‘Hey this is my song Loco-Motion, what do you think?’ they must have gone ape shit. That’s such a great song. So I think when you write that kind of song you wanna hurry up and get that recorded and because I record everything and write at the same time I am always trying to get that feeling onto tape. Sometimes I miss it, sometimes it’s recorded poorly, and sometimes I hit it. With this record I feel like I did that the best out of all my records.

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MUSIC GAY NINETIES

MAJOR GAYZERS

Words: Suzy Sabla Photography: Owen Ellis + Sydney Gregoire

The last time I’d heard The Gay Nineties play, it was February in a shitty little makeshift jam space, somewhere in butt-fuck nowhere East Vancouver bordering on Burnaby. I remember thinking, “Whoa, is this what the Zombies would sound like in 2011 if they weren’t doing the Casino circuit?” I spent the next five months in Berlin, oogling at photo shoots of the dapper gentlemen online, and confirming attendance for gigs I’d kept hearing about.

Back in Vancouver, I’d try to pick up where I left off. It felt like I’d left The Gay Nineties as toddlers, and come back to see them all grown up. Stranger yet, I live with two thirds of the boys, and was suddenly thrown into The Gay Nineties universe; equal parts musical analytics brought out in

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the deconstruction of a perfect CCR song, beer drinking on the porch, and the constant search for that perfect Serge Gainsbourg meets Bowie outfit. The Gay Nineties are Parker Bossley (Guitar & Vocals), Daniel Knowlton (Bass & Vocals), and Malcolm Holt (Drums). They work really hard, but they’ll make you laugh even harder.

A recent online forum for the band’s EP release party was greeted with 99% enthusiasm, paired with this display of aversion, “thats an annoying band name if i ever heard one.” The lack of punctuation holds to the authenticity of its author’s writing skills, while the statement itself begs the question we’ve all been wondering: what’s with the band name? Sorry to burst your defensive bubble kids, but as

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MUSIC Malcolm explains, “The 1890’s, [were] a decade of decadence and glamour,” that went on to be criticized for it’s lavish ways once The Great Depression hit, or as he sums up, “There were all these wine orgies.” For Daniel, the band name is challenging, “It creates good conversation. The 1890’s were a formative decade, and I feel like we are going through formative years within our music scene in Vancouver right now.” For Parker, it’s as simple as, “A band of friends trying to live out their rock ‘n’ roll fantasies,” name aside.

Aware of the tongue-in-cheek nature of their name, the band welcomes negative feedback with open arms, “It makes it easier for us, because it has the word ‘gay’ in it, it helps us filter out people who are going to be offended or turned off by that,” says Malcolm, while Daniel adds, “I’m kinda surprised that we haven’t been confronted by the gay community, not in a negative way, but because I feel for some reason that I want to be challenged.” In the end, a name is just a name as Malcolm points out, “It’s kinda like the Red Hot Chili Peppers; that is a retarded name, but then it just becomes… it’s as good as the band is good.”

And the band is good. The boys’ musical scope is varied.

For Parker, “Bowie’s got a lot to do with it,” lyrically and otherwise. Malcolm sees Parker’s Bowie as more of a Mark Bolan homage, while he also notes the Zombies, The Pixies, and Pavement somewhere in the mix of influences. Daniel’s bass grooves channel Zeppelin, and he admits that unlike his band mates, The Strokes have little to do with where he’s ended up as a musician, “It’s just one of those bands that floated past my radar undetected, but that’s just because I’m obsessed with music made 40 years ago. I was probably just still listening to the Neil Young and The Beatles.”

Always clever, Malcolm adds, “You know, this little band, The Beatles, that haven’t influenced any other bands, but have totally influenced us.” Finally, while the boys fail to point it out, if you have a listen to their track “Coming Together”, you’ll pick up on some hard-hitting Sabbath vibes.

I ask the band, hypothetically, who they might hire on as a fourth member. Besides Rick James, “The person who plays the sax solo on 'Careless Whisper',” and a dancing

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James Brown, the band seems to agree that a fourth member would put a damper on their work ethic. Malcolm explains, “You’re within the confines of this box. We are a three piece, two singers, how can we make the fullest most interesting dynamic arrangements?”

Meanwhile, The Gay Nineties have been collaborating with others in Vancouver’s art and music community; from buddy band The New Values, to wing woman and brains Stacey Armstrong, to documentarian Owen Ellis, and finally artist Robert Mearns. The band’s surrounding creative synergy goes far beyond the scope of a song. Malcolm praises Mearns, who recently created the bands EP release poster, (the boys' faces adorned with Gay Nineties mustaches) “We just want to keep working with him as much as he will fit us into his life.” They’ll need him, as Malcolm and Parker admit they can’t grow a proper mustache, while Daniel’s claim to mustache fame ain’t nearly as bad-ass as Mearn’s portraits convey. Moreover, the band expresses thanks to Steve Bays of Hot Hot Heat, who has taken The Gay Nineties under his wing. The band’s celebrated EP was recorded at Bays’ studio, TugBoat, with the help of drum technician Ian Browne.

As they continue to play shows on a weekly basis, why should people keep coming to see The Gay Nineties? Their friends and fans humble the boys, and as Parker sees it, the band is, “Writing new songs, [their] material is always changing, and [they] are always changing as well.” Malcolm believes wholeheartedly that there is something in their sound for everyone, “From moms and dads to little kids; it’s dance music, it’s rock ‘n’ roll music, it’s soul music, and I think everyone can find something that they like about it.”

Daniel sees their shows as an opportunity to improve upon Vancouver’s creative community, “The shows are getting better, we’re writing more songs, but as a byproduct of that, our community is also broadening. The more people that keep coming to shows, the more juxtapositions of people becoming friends.” Parker stresses that The Gay Nineties are, “Completely open-minded to collaborating with anybody who is inspired and creative,” and wants to work with,

“Everyone in Vancouver who [the band] believes in.”

Roots, influences, and community building aside, I decide to end on a lightning round of questions:

Would people in the 1890’s dig your music?

Everyone: Nooooo!

PB: We would be revolutionary!

DK: Malcolm’s dad doesn’t even dig our music, and that’s only going back 20 years.

PB: It’d be hard to plug in our instruments; I think that our sound would drastically change.

MH: But I think we’d all still be entertainers.

What would your 1890’s alter ego be?

MH: I’d probably be a tap dancer.

PB: A pianist.

DK: I think I’d probably be the shoe shiner.

Where will The Gay Nineties be 40 years down the line?

PB: Malcolm will be an interior designer, Dan will be completely belligerent, you won’t understand a single thing he says, and he’ll be rocking on a porch playing old Gay Nineties songs reliving his experiences in the suburbs of Africa. And I will be in a mental hospital weeping in the corner.

How gay are you, really?

PB: 40% MH: Depends how much ecstasy I’ve shoved up my butt.

PB: Depends which part of my life you’re asking about. Even though we’re not completely gay, we are definitely queer as far as the queer community goes. We are into wearing women’s clothes, and we’re open to anything. We’re the most openminded people you’ll ever really meet.

DK: It’s all just holes.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, "It’s all just holes." I told you they’d make you laugh.

Special thanks to Le Monde Gris, Little Miss Vintage, and Burcu’s Angels for helping outfit The Gay Nineties.

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MUSIC CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH

CLAPTRAP

Words: Jay Brown Illustration: Alan Ganev

Just because you disappear into a studio for two years to make a record doesn’t mean your band broke up. It seems that, in the age of twit-mediacy, any sort of “radio silence” conjures such speculation. This was the case for the Brooklyn/Philly indie rock band Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.

Formed in 2004, the band quickly built a dedicated following, and by 2005 they were playing to sizeable crowds in New York; crowds that sometimes included David Bowie.

Bowie must blog or something because the next thing you know they’re America’s new shit hot indie darling buzz band.

Then, a couple of years ago, they took some time off and went to work writing and recording their third album Hysterical, produced by studio vet John Congleton (Modest Mouse, Walkmen, David Byrne). Imagine frontman Alec Ounsworth’s surprise when he emerged from the studio, after laboring over what is arguably their finest collection of songs, only to find the blogosphere abuzz with rumour that his band no longer existed.

He must’ve felt a little like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. The guy triumphs over nature after being lost on a desert island and makes his way back home against all odds, only to find he’s been given up for dead and his wife is married to his dentist! Of course in the end he meets a woman who’s hotter than his wife (PS- his wife is played

by Helen Hunt).

In CYHSY’s case, how sweet it must be to put rumours to rest and reintroduce yourself to the world with a wonderful new piece of work like Hysterical - it’s hotter than Helen Hunt.

Nowadays if you take a couple years off in between albums people think your band broke up.

(Laughs) You’re suddenly a reunion band.

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Are you ever afraid that if you don’t put out a new song every five minutes, like Ryan Adams, you might be forgotten?

No, I mean I’m relatively old fashioned in that I don’t pay attention to it. I don’t believe in going into a studio to make a record without being really passionate and determined to do something that you’re honest about. Maybe Ryan Adams can be inspired and sustain the momentum and that’s great. As far as we’re concerned, it served us well to come back and be honestly passionate about [making music] by virtue of taking some time off.

But you never broke up.

No, no. There was a point where we were struggling to figure out where we wanted to go at that particular time in terms of sense of direction. As far as I was concerned the options at that time were to do a record because we were supposed to do it or to venture out on our own for a little bit and then come back when the time was right. It just so happens that it took that amount of time.

The new album is called Hysterical. Have you ever had fans go annoying-teenager-Beatlemania-hysterical on you?

I wouldn’t call it annoying, but you know here and there we’ve had a couple of instances. I remember a long time ago, before we went on any serious tour, people trying to jump into cars with us, which I found humorous and maybe sometimes people take it a little too far. Especially at that time, a lot of what happened around the first record was why we needed a break. It was just so much, so quickly. I felt like we needed more of a gestation period so we had to manufacture our own in a way.

At the beginning, there were certain fans who were enthusiastic, not exactly in the way I would be, but I’m not going to discredit them for that.

There’s the title track “Hysterical” and another song on the album

called “Maniac”. Did someone go nuts while you were making this record?

Not so directly. I mean, I feel like everyone’s a little bit crazy. A lot of these songs are positioned in a specific way and kind of go towards the same theme. The whole idea is it’s inevitable that you are going to be who you are. I know that sounds sort of rhetorical, but I think finally there are certain things you can’t avoid, so all of those weaknesses, all of those crazy, maniacal tendencies are going to exhibit themselves in one way or another. As long as they don’t directly hurt others, I think people have to resign themselves to who they are, and a lot of this [record] has to do with people not being comfortable with that fact. I know it sounds pretty general.

No man! You just dropped some serious wisdom! I think you should open your own church.

(Laughs) Yeah right. Maybe that’s my calling.

I wouldn’t be a good Canadian if I didn’t reference The Guess Who and ask, Alec Ounsworth of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, have you or will you ever “Clap for the Wolfman”?

(Laughs) Clap for the wolfman? That’s a very odd question.

It’s a Guess Who song.

I feel like I know that song. Can you sing a little?

(Singing. Poorly.) Clap for the wolfman/You gonna dig him til the day you die More, more, more! (Laughs) I don’t know the song.

Maybe I inspired you to go listen to a classic Canadian band after this interview?

Yeah, I ‘m going to have to go figure out if I should ‘Clap for the Wolfman’, but I can’t in good conscience do it now.

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MUSIC REVIEWS

1

2

[1] Caitlin Rose Say Yeah - Own Side Now I grew up in Nashville, TN. That being said, I would never be so arrogant as to claim that I "know" country music. However I do "know" people who "know" country music. Listening to Own Side Now, I could only reach the conclusion that Caitlin Rose "knows" country music. That doesn’t just mean that she could recite multiple songs off Garth Brooks' No Fences from memory (who couldn't?)

I’m saying country music has its own guest room in her brain and it doesn't call before it comes over.

While Rose is a traditionalist at heart, she modernizes her approach with a sometimes flippant, but intimate lyrical approach and by subtly synthesizing various songwriting traditions. Her voice will make you wish she was your childhood friend, the songs will make you want to be good to your woman, and the band will make you want to pawn your Takamine for a PS3. When it comes to cute girls doing revivalist country songs, Caitlin Rose is Phil Hoffman playing Truman Capote in Capote and Jenny Lewis is that other guy playing Truman Capote in that other movie about Truman Capote that came out around the same time. - Jeremy McAnulty

[2] Comet Gain - Howl Of The Lonely Crowd Comet Gain has been around since 1992, with Howl Of The Lonely Crowd being the band’s 6th studio album.

Which I guess means they’ve got a pretty genuine “We wuz there” claim to genre as they dabble throughout the album in Brit pop, post punk, standard-issue indie, twee, and garage. Although, really, “dabble” is a bit of a misnomer here, suggesting that Comet Gain is putting on a different hat every time they touch on a different sound. In reality the whole thing probably best fits under the blanket term - according to a perhaps outdated (mid 90s?) definition of what the term means – “indie rock.” It’s the type of record you could imagine younger contemporaries Yuck looking to for a template on how to make that chorus soar (“Clang Of The Concrete Swans”), or Los Campesinos! tapping for advice on how to make a boy-girl shout along work properly (“Working Circle Explosive!”), or Vivian Girls seeking for other examples of charmingly off-key sad-girl dirges (“Ballad Of Frankie Machine”). However, instead of Howl existing to inspire those bands, it stands ably beside their records, and perhaps because of this, is a remarkably fresh-sounding collection for a group that has been in the game for nearly 20 years. -Chad Buchholz

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For years, when teenage boys needed to see racy television scenes, they did so by recording to VHS tape on a magical night when Cinemax came in clear.

Then along came HBO, which quickly became the destination for boundary-pushing scenes on television. However, recently there have been a number of British, basic cable and, yes, even network shows that have given HBO a run for their money. Move over, gratuitous Entourage nudity; here are the seven raciest scenes on television, HBO excluded (grades in parentheses): - Ian Urbanski

Illustration: Shannon Elliott

SELECT[ION]

MOVIES

Mary-Louise Parker and Mark Paul Gosselaar, Weeds So there we were: it was 2010, and Zach from Saved by the Bell was having the career resurgence we all knew he had in him. Well, that’s not true, he did a lot of guest starring roles in the aughts, did NYPD Blue and now stars on a show on USA Network. Resurgence is a strong word. Anyway, he totally does Mary Louise Parker from behind in this one scene. (A-) Joel McHale and Gillian Jacobs, Community I’m not sure how many people knew that Joel McHale was in incredible shape. I certainly assumed that his tailored suits were responsible for his impeccable appearance on The Soup, but it turns out he used to play football in college at Washington State.

He and Gillian Jacobs hook up on a table in the study room during the first paintball-themed episode. They’re both incredibly attractive and wear pretty sexy underwear. (B) Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters, Buffy the Vampire Slayer In season six, after Buffy gets resurrected the second time (spoiler alert), there’s an episode where Willow and Tara breakup a few episodes before Tara gets killed (spoiler alert), and

Willow turns closer toward the dark side and Spike and Buffy eff until a building collapses. (C+)

up with Kelly’s Lyla Garrity one morning before class. Added naughtiness factor: Lyla was totally his best friend’s girl. (B+)

Lee Pace and Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies A criminally underwatched show, Pushing Daisies, had one of the most crushworthy women on television. The basic show premise is kind of silly; Lee Pace’s Ned can bring dead things back to life by touching them once and if he touches them again, they return to being dead. His childhood crush/star-crossed lover/ soulmate Charlotte “Chuck” Charles gets killed episode one, so after bringing Chuck back, he can no longer touch her. For the most part, this premise lends itself well to twee and romantic storylines, until one kinky fantasy and lots of talk about m-bating kind of derails the cuteness. (B-)

Antonia Thomas and Nathan Stewart-Jarrett, Misfits In the E4 series Misfits, a group of five ASBOs (look it up, I didn’t know what that meant either) are stuck doing community service in… London, I assume? I’m not sure it’s ever made clear. I’m also not sure if it’s xenophobic to assume that they’re in London just because it’s set in England. I don’t think so, but there’s a scene in the first season where two characters jay off while staring at each other. The five main kids also have superpowers.

(C)

Taylor Kitsch and Minka Kelly, Friday Night Lights The fictional town of Dillon, Texas had maybe the most lopsided ratio of hyper-attractive people to normals in the history of television. It was basically inevitable until most characters dated each other in a very Gossip Girl rotating-pair-up sort of way.

To kick things off, in season one, Kitsch’s Tim Riggins hooks

Jon Hamm and Erin Cummings, Mad Men In the season four premiere of Mad Men, nothing was going Don Draper’s way. Without going into too many spoiler-y details, Erin Cummings’ eternally remembered Candice character shared a scene or two with our leading man. In a pivotal scene in the episode they sit around a fire and work on a crossword together.

J/k, she totally just slaps him in the face during sex. (A)

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ION THE WEB FILMDRUNK FilmDrunk is a very clever movie news and commentary blog with jokes and pictures of dogs wearing party hats. I read it every day because I like movies and laughing. With the fall movie season starting up, I asked Vince Mancini, the site’s founder, to pick what he thought would be the best and worst movies of Oscar season and the smaller indie festival stuff (some of which is already out on DVD). -Kellen Powell Best of Oscar Season: The Rum Diary I don't know if this will be any good, but it's one of my favorite books and if it isn't amazing I will cry.

Martin Scorsese is making a kid's movie with the guy from Borat.

THE WHIMSY! IT'S TOO MUCH! Young Adult The knives are out for Diablo Cody, and I admit, her dialog is obnoxious, but did you SEE Up in the Air? Take away Jason Reitman and that would've been the worst movie ever. Jason Reitman is the man, and is starting to look like twice the filmmaker his dad ever was.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo I haven't read these books, but everyone has a big boner for them. And David Fincher... he's pretty good, you know?

The Guard I don't know if it counts as Oscar season, but easily the most fun movie I saw this summer. Not as weird as In Bruges (from The Guard director's brother), which often gets mistaken for "depth," but it was even funnier in a lot of ways.

Worst: War Horse

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Everyone's full of praise for this based on the early trailer and because kissing Spielberg's ass is practically a cottage industry, but holy hell this looks horrible. I watched the trailer and couldn't stop thinking about Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder.

The Help A hot white chick solves racism, AGAIN! Thanks, Hollywood, white people are awesome.

We Need to Talk About Kevin I keep seeing this movie, about Tilda Swinton raising a son that hates her and goes on to become a spree killer, on people's Oscar predictions lists. Which is surprising, since it looks like a direct-to-TV Lifetime movie.

The Iron Lady (starring Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher) Holy crap, it looks like they finally found a way to make a movie more boring and predictable than The King's Speech.

We Bought a Zoo The trailer just came out, and like all of these, it could go either way, but something about a sappy zoo movie screams disaster.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close I'm predicting another snoozefest everyone will rave about but no one will watch like Stephen Daldry's other movies, The Reader, The Hours, and Billy Elliot.

Best of Festival Season: (Again, I haven't seen everything here, so I'm kind of guessing).

Cedar Rapids and Elite Squad 2 I saw both at Sundance. Not every movie is for everyone, but I would recommend either of those two to anyone.

Take Shelter I haven’t seen it but it had one of the most bad ass trailers of the year. Michael Shannon is so metal.

Tyrannosaur Another one I haven't seen, but Paddy Considine is a great actor, so why wouldn't he make a great director? (Don't answer that).

Anyway, the accents are fun.

Worst: Buried Ugh. A pointless, manipulative, wildly implausible, two hour snuff film. Hate hate hate.

W.E. Madonna directed it.

Sarah Palin: You Betcha!

I haven't seen it, but I'm guessing Nick Broomfield's voice still sounds like someone trying to pass oatmeal through a dirty sweat sock.

Twixt FF Coppola's latest actually looked interesting, and I love Val Kilmer, but the reviews thus far have not been kind, to say the least.

Melancholia Actually, it looks awesome, I just want to hear Lars Von Trier backpedal about being a Nazi again.

HOROSCOPES THIS MONTH: Skullbeard and Dr. Ian Super Traveling back in time, Skullbeard and Dr. Ian Super engaged in 3D chess around the primordial ooze that was to become Man. Finding no solace in the game, they decided that they would instead bless the readers of ION with more stunningly accurate horoscopes. Through consultation with stars and scrolls they give you this gift.

ARIES Good news! It's football season! Not impressed?

Well I'm making bacon chip nachos! That's nachos with bacon chips instead of tortilla chips.

Excited now? No? Ok just come over, I'll give you an H.J. I just hate drinking alone.

CAPRICORN: Tyler the Creator called. Your future may well be more odd than his. You will most certainly usher in a new era of chillwave electro featuring Usher and Nepalese throat singing. Stay hydrated, and get some Buckley's.

LEO: Those Zubaz pants make your package look seriously big. Seriously. And your muscles too. I see you this winter, jeanin' it at the ski hill, Oakley Razors, Hornets jacket in the wind. I'm pretty sure you're drunk. Side note, do you know where you can get a decent pair of Jams?

SAGITTARIUS: Well, despite your best intentions, your nickname “Pontoon” has stuck. No matter what you do, this moniker will follow you around until the end of your days. Lose the weight, no change. Get surgery, nothing’s happening.

Don’t get down on yourself though, you bring happiness to everyone you see. Try seeing a frown on the face of anyone who has just shouted “Pontooooooooon” from across the street.

GEMINI: When you run you sweat like Patrick Ewing; pit stains that touch at the tits. So don't sweat anywhere near me or anywhere near my kid because he can smell that shit coming and he knows what you do when you're alone at night. PlentyOfFish is your only hope.

SCORPIO: Your ruling planet is approaching A BLACK HOLE. Hit the breaks! Full stop! As a matter of fact, grab vast quantities of Pep ‘N’ Cheds, licorice ropes, and non-biodegradable food stuffs and stay under your bed. DO NOT peek out under the covers! When shit’s cool I swear that we’ll get a hold of you. DO THIS NOW!!!

PISCES: I see you've moved to the city! That's cool, but when you lived here there's no fucking way you would have worn a bowtie.

Seriously, your dad wants it back and it better not have crotch stains on it. You used to be into pro sports and didn’t care about hand me downs, now you're all tweed jacket on Facebook and Twitter.

VIRGO: Don't let 'em tell you croquet isn't a real sport. It is. Especially the way you play; all wind sprints and squat thrusts. So what if there’s no national team that you can rep, the WNBA exists and look at the muck. Don't give up on your dream, even if your dream is giving up on shit.

LIBRA: You know what? Rebecca Black hates you too. I'm serious. If she sees you this month, that bitch will drop kick you in the face, rip off your arms and beat you with them. Then she'll leave you to bleed-out. Just like that. It's Friday, bitch.

TAURUS: Ok you're a deep dish; a real hit in Chicago. But don’t get too big for your britches. Pizza the Hut... was found dead in his car… he ate… himself… to death.

So don't forget your roots, and I don't mean a red Gatsby cap. Seriously girl, I would have bought you all the Arby's in the world.

CANCER: Oh baby!!! Your mouth breathing is totally working for you. Your ball sweat cures cancer (that's you!) If you're a woman and you drink your own breast milk, you become a neutron star! Don't hesitate! Drop that R-bomb! ("R" for "can i haz a rub n tug?")

AQUARIUS: Hmm, your feng shui is unraveling. A backyard wiz is not a fountain, and you're not even Chinese. If you were, you could at least do the math: there's no money in softcore... unless it involves vampires for some reason.

OPHIUCHUS: The tests came back: negaffirmative. We need to talk.

OPHIUCHUS: Don't make me re-mail you the directions! I sent them already. In fact, don't come.

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