Indulge www.indulgemagazine.com.au
August 2011
spirit|soul|body
Sue Hartley A Daughter of Promise
Colour Your World! Sue Peter’s Incredible Journey to India
Fast Food at Home
3 Recipes under 30 mins!
Brave Hearts
The Miraculous Story of the Watson Family
Our Recipe Competition Winner!
Indulge | August 2011 | 1
Indulge eMagazine is part of the iluvthoseshoes Project which seeks to empower women in their journey through life by resourcing them, spirit, soul and body. Empower = make more confident; to give authority Resource = source of help; solutions to problems
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The Cover
Cover Pastor Sue Hartley Photography Natasha Smith, NSP Studio Photography Beauty & Styling Tanya Epis
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Indulge | August 2011 | 3
www.nexuschurch.com.au
‘Words are cheap’ is an often-heard expression in our society. This terminology is aimed at people whose words do not align with their actions. Too often these days we can overcommit with our words and then we don’t deliver. We have the best intentions at the start of the conversation but then we find it difficult to follow through when the time comes. I have recently shifted from one city to another, not very far apart geographically and I have lived in this city before many years ago, but what has immediately struck me has been the difference in the people. Where I was living, people were generally nonchalant about their commitments and plans were never set in concrete; it was a ‘go with the flow’ attitude that prevailed. Where I now live, I can already see (and have experienced) a more genuine commitment from people’s words. It is refreshing.
from the editor
People who honour their promises are delightful to be around; there is a sense of trust that is quickly established because you know they weigh the weight of their words; they are genuine. A promise is a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing. God is full of promises for us and His words are eternal, He is genuine and we can trust Him. Here are just a few of my favourite promises from God that I remind myself of regularly:
“...He is good, His loving kindness lasts forever” Psalm 136:1 (NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you...” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 (NIV) “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...No we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” Romans 8:35-37 (NIV) “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJ)
I love that a life lived with God has so much potential because of His promises to us. No matter what people may do or not do, we know as Christ’s children that our Daddy will never let us down. His promises are personal, eternal and honorable! Two of our stories this month are stories of promise. The Watson family’s journey with young Sam, diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome in the womb, is a powerful witness of God’s constant love. And then there is Sue Hartley, a woman who could easily have become one of life’s victims, sharing her journey of taking hold of God’s promises for her life and the difference this has made. The common denominator for Sue and the Watson’s is their unwavering trust and belief in God and His love for them. What promises are you holding on to in God? Don’t be discouraged, stand firm and be inspired by this issue of Indulge. It is refreshing!
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Love Charissa
contents spirit Brave Hearts
The Miraculous story of the Watson Family
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend Lynda Hammond
soul
A Daughter of Promise Pastor Sue Hartley
Do you want to be free? Sue Peters Journey to India
The Mum Connection Candice Schmidt
A Torrent of Words Jenny Baxter
08
Book Reviews
16
body
Physical Healing in All Seasons Dr Cris Beer
Hair Colour Secrets Colour Blocking Tanya Epis
Real Fast Food at Home Angela Frost
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Winning Entry
It’s a pie
ce of cake
Congratulations to our recipe competition winner
Rebecca Olsen
Rebecca tells us that this recipe that has been passed on down through her family, and our panel of judges seem to agree that it is...
The Yummiest Chocolate Cake Ever 1 2/3 cup plain flour 1 1/2 cup sugar Rebecca has won a 2/3 cup cocoa (good quality) copy of Donna Hay’s 1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda ‘a cooks guide’ 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 eggs and some other 1/2 cup butter wonderful treats. 1 1/2 cup buttermilk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1. Beat together sugar, salt, eggs, butter and vanilla until creamy and fluffy 2. Beat in cocoa 3. Beat in buttermilk 4. Add flour and baking soda 5. Bake in a moderate oven (180°c) for approximately 30 minutes 6. Enjoy! 6 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
!
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SPIRIT 8 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
Brave Hearts
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for Indulge you | August declares 2011 | 9
The miraculous story of the Watson family...
Sam’s Story Story: Nicole Watson Photography: David Steffens
O
ur little boy Sam is more than a gift to us. He has been the catalyst for a whole new understanding of God’s love, mercy and grace. It would be an understatement for me to say that God turned our world upside down through Sam, but now we wouldn’t want it any other way. Let me introduce you to our little warrior Sam, who was born with half a heart. Our youngest son Sam was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, a very rare form of congenital heart disease, during pregnancy at 20 weeks. My husband and I were devastated. I remember being completely lost for words, numb, almost in denial. We discovered that 1% of all children are born with a heart defect, 1% of that 1% are diagnosed with HLHS. The time surrounding Sam’s diagnosis and birth was one of both tremendous heartache and great blessing. Looking back, I know that it was only God’s grace that allowed us to walk through this time with a supernatural peace.
“I was horrified that the doctors were offering to terminate my son’s life... Only God has the right to give and take life.” At one point we were asked if we had considered terminating Sam. When we refused, the other options of palliative care and surgery were offered to us. I was horrified that the doctors were offering to terminate my son’s life. I was told that I even had a few weeks to think it through. We didn’t need any time to decide. Only God has the right to give and take life. The surgery option was chosen and we learned that we would need to move to Melbourne for about 5 months for both Sam’s birth and required surgeries. We had great assurance from God that we were doing the right thing and he spoke to us about Sam’s healing and the great plans he has for Sam’s life. I distinctly remember asking God about Sam’s name on the way home from the diagnosis in the car. With tears streaming down my face, God spoke 10 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
“Call him Sam.” I said “Do you mean Samuel?” “No, just Sam. Sam after Samuel, because he will always be mine, and Sam after Samson, because he will have strength and determination that comes from me.” I cried with hope in my heart. God truly always knows best. So a month before Sam was due, we locked up our home in sunny Queensland, and relocated to Melbourne to await his arrival. Sam David Watson was born via caesarean on the 30th September 2008. He arrived into a room full of no less than 20 medical professionals, all there to make sure he got off to a flying start. He looked absolutely perfect; you would never have known his heart was incomplete. The only sign was the blue/black soles of his feet. I got to hold Sam, all wrapped up, for no more than 5 mins before he was whisked away to the Special Care Nursery. We missed so many sweet moments that mothers and babies are meant to have when they arrive into the world. It broke my heart to watch him leave and not be able to follow. Throughout this time God was my only strength. Sam’s first open-heart surgery was less than 72 hours after his birth. His heart was no larger than a strawberry. God used very gifted hands in the form of Sam’s cardiac surgeon to perform the delicate task.
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During the many months that we spent in Melbourne in and out of the hospital, we were transformed. We were broken, all that was between us and God was stripped away, burned up by the fire that was consuming us. There was no room for self. God was everything to us. He was literally the air we breathed. He was our strength, courage and provider, our light when everything else around us seemed grim. We were totally dependant on him, not only for our spiritual and emotional health, but for our physical and practical needs as well. Sam needed two open heart surgeries to save his life. The second of these happened when he was four months of age. This round of surgery came with both apprehension and excitement. When he recovered we would be able to take our precious little boy home with us. God prepared our hearts and we walked with His peace through Sam’s next surgery. Sam was also blessed with another carefree recovery from this surgery; they even kept us in an extra day because they didn’t want to send Sam home so early after open-heart surgery! What a little champ! He was certainly living up to the name ‘Samson’ here.
Sam recovered really well from his first surgery with no complications. I remember when I first saw Sam after his open heart surgery; I could clearly see his heart beating in his chest with my naked eye. His chest was still open, covered only by a large plastic adhesive. It was here that I marveled at the intricate beauty of God’s creation and how He sustains it all by his life-giving power. I will never forget the day I walked into hospital to see his eyes open and alert. I praised God for saving my son and treasured every moment with him. We stayed in a unit across from the hospital between surgeries and had regular check-ups at the hospital. We had quite a few stays in the hospital between surgeries that had nothing to do with Sam’s heart and mostly to do with his feeding and hydration. Sam was exclusively tube fed for the first 4 months of his life as he didn’t have the strength to drink. 12 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
About a week after Sam’s release from hospital we got to take our little boy home to Queensland. It was such an exciting and victorious occasion. After 5 long months we were finally home. A few days after being home, Sam miraculously started drinking from a bottle. Goodbye to the dreaded tube! If his chest was covered, no one could even tell that Sam was living on half a heart. We were home with our son and we praised God daily for his mercy and love. Sam’s heart was still not healed and whole, but we were forever changed. Outwardly we looked fatigued and worn, but inwardly our spirits shone and were strong from God’s protective and nurturing hand.
“I rushed him to emergency, storming the Kingdom of God with prayer, all of the way.”
At the age of 1, Sam suffered a stroke, causing his left arm to hang and flop at his side. He just woke up one morning not being able to move it. I rushed him to emergency, storming the Kingdom of God with prayer, all of the way. We commanded strength back into Sam’s arm and we spoke aloud all of the things he was going to do with his hands when he was healed. As we arrived in emergency, his arm started to twitch rhythmically. Only 3 short hours later, full strength had returned to his arm. It was a miracle! When the doctors performed an MRI, they found that Sam had a blood clot in his brain that was no longer there, but had left some damage. They couldn’t believe that he was moving his arm. Teams of doctors kept coming to check on him and marvelled at how quickly he had recovered. It has not affected his development in any way. He has reached all milestones for his age and is just like any other active busy two year old. God was teaching us that our faith truly does move mountains.
“...we hold on with both hands to the promise that God gave us...” The doctors tell us that Sam will need further surgery between the ages of 3 and 5 to assist his heart. We still believe God can choose to heal his heart at any time, and will. Each time Sam has an ultrasound to check his heart function, something has improved. And we hold on with both hands to the promise that God gave us, “Sam will live and have life in abundance. He will worship me and testify of my healing to the nations.” God has given us a hope, a promise and a future for Sam and we look forward to that future with him. However, right now we live life to the full, cherishing each day. Which one of us is guaranteed 80 years of life anyway? Imagine how amazing life would be if we lived each day as if it were our last. We have been blessed by our journey with Sam and with God, because we have learned what is important and how to make it count. I will leave you with the poem I penned for Sam in celebration of his first birthday.
If Sam could speak... They said I wouldn’t make it, It was best to let me go, But Mum and Dad knew better, God had told them so. And so I sit before you, And smile as I turn one. Look out world, You almost lost A precious, happy son. So as I eat my cake And share a laugh with you, Reflect on what has happened And what is still to do. Live for today and make it count… Is my advice to you, Fix your eye upon the goal And fight to see it through. Fear’s not in my future, I’m a warrior through and through. How can I fall when God holds me? And I have friends like you. About the Book: Sam’s Heart is now a book! Sam’s Heart-A Journey of Faith, Obedience and the Miracles that follow, published by Even Before Publishing, an imprint of Wombat Books, was released May 2011. Share in this story of hope that encourages you to believe in God’s promises no matter the opposition. Miracles happen. Available now at www.samsheart.com.au www.evenbeforepublishing.com www.koorong.com.au and all good bookshops nationally.
We have a copy of Sam’s Heart to giveaway to a reader! Simply write to us at editor@ indulgemagazine.com.au and tell us how the Watson family’s story has inspired you.
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Diamonds are a girl’s best Lynda Hammond
T
he day had been long. I was tired. I was cranky. I felt overworked and most definitely underpaid! I was a wife and a mother to four young children. The house was untidy; the dishes undone; the TV on…not that I had time to watch it.
Not only was I tired and cranky, I was being very verbal about it. Everyone in the house knew that they were in my bad books. I may have been working hard but I wasn’t a nice person to be with right then. I don’t think I was the only cranky mummy that particular day. Let’s face it - when the hopes of eternal love with the man of your dreams turns into evenings at the kitchen sink with the overwhelming feeling of being buried under tasks that will never get finished, it can be hard to stay sweet. On top of tiredness and unfinished tasks, I felt the guilt. Christians are plagued with guilt. We live according to a high benchmark. Sharp words and bad attitudes are definitely under that bar. Tired, overworked and now guilty. To be honest, my feelings that day went like this…“I should be loving and respectful, but I feel so unloved and undervalued that I have nothing to give.” Wanting to get out of the noisy, messy environment I announced, “I’m going to hang out the washing!” I don’t know if anyone heard. I am sure that no one listened that weary evening.
I stepped out of the house with my basket of wet laundry, got to the clothes line and looked up. What I saw took my breath away and what I heard filled my emptiness, melting my stony heart. There, flung across the night sky, was the Milky Way…beautiful, clear and sparkling. Then I heard my Heavenly Father say, “These are for you”. He had flung a “fistful of diamonds” across that inky blackness for my pleasure! At that moment I felt completely treasured and loved. If I had known that God was hovering that night, I would have been ducking under the weight of the script I would have written for Him to use on me. “You know better! Whatever happened to the fruit of the Spirit? Whatever happened to your consecration to Me? Whatever happened to obedience to My word?” Like I said, Christians can be so plagued by the guilt that comes with imperfection. But I didn’t hear any of the things that my sad and broken heart expected to hear. Instead I heard His love.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! Psalm 139:17 I went back into the house able to love – really love, and able to forgive…not just in words, but from my heart. Why? Because even though my emotional tank was empty as I made my exhausted way from house to line, God Himself had filled it while I stood under the starry sky. My husband, Jeff, couldn’t give me any kind of diamond at that time - not because he didn’t love me but because he couldn’t afford to do so. I began
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t friend to realise that life was dull and daily for him, too. He was equally responsible for this family. He worked, too. He was tired, too. And he was living with a cranky wife. Now, with the healing words of the Lord ringing in my ears, “These are for you.”, it seemed to me that I had found the grace to drop my demands and, out of Heaven’s vast resources, simply give without expecting anything in return.
“A FISTFUL OF DIAMONDS – Living on full when life serves empty” Fuel for your journey Sparkle for your day Respite for your soul Hope for your future
And that is how we can consistently love others without needing to receive from them. It is in knowing - really knowing - that we are endlessly and perfectly loved by God. He is our source - not our husbands; not our children; not our friends – but Him. What a sweet way to live.
My prayer for you... Is that you will feel deeply and endlessly loved. That you will feel totally treasured. That out of that endless resource you will be able to love others freely. That you will know that every diamond sparkling in that night sky is for God’s glory and for your pleasure. Apparently diamonds are a girl’s best friend – well you have plenty.
Lynda lives with her husband, Jeff in Dalby, on the Darling Downs of Queensland. She and Jeff serve on the team at Dalby Christian Family Church. Jeff & Lynda have four grown children and two grandchildren. Lynda is passionate to see people grasp how deeply loved they are by God, how significant they are to their world, no matter how small it may seem and to give them ‘fuel’ for their soul to keep them on their journey. Her desire is to bring ‘a word in season to him who is weary’.
A beautiful hardback gift book, colour illustrated, with a silver ribbon bookmark
It will make you laugh, or maybe cry... but it will remind you how treasured you are, and how significant you are to your world! Available online at www.drministries.com or email Lynda – lynda@drministries.com $15.00 each - postage free within Australia
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Abused and abandoned,Sue Hartley has had her share of ups and downs in life. But the word ‘victim’ is not found in her vocabulary. Here Sue shares her journey of overcoming her past and fully embracing her future.
SOUL
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Daughter of Promise
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Words Pastor Sue Hartley Photography Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography Makeup & Hair Tanya Epis
I
NSIDE EVERY WOMAN THERE IS A ROSE show her the rose...she will conquer the thorns
I am sitting in the LA international airport waiting for my flight to take me back home to Brisbane, Australia. It has been my second visit to the United States this year. I have just attended a leadership conference followed by a six-day preaching intensive. There were people from all around the world at both events – leaders, business people, pastors, speakers...and then there was me! And I have to ask, “How did I get here, Father?” It is so surreal. I share this with you only to say...I remember the place that I came from. And I boast not in myself, but in what our amazing God can do with one life. When we talk of a place, we usually refer to a physical place – Brisbane, Timbuktu, Hawaii. But there is another “place” we come from – the place of experiences, belief systems and mindsets. I come from a place of being labelled “an accident” – a place of rejection and abandonment with a father who left our home when I was only 3½ and then refused to pay maintenance to my mother. I come from a place of being frightened and alone while my mother worked three jobs just to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. I wore the key to the front door around my neck. There were no pensions or support systems for deserted wives and no childcare centres. We had no extended family because my parents had immigrated and left family behind. I did not appreciate how courageous and strong my mother was until many years later. I remember being overwhelmed by every experience that this situation brought. I also come from a place of shame and mistrust. Adults are supposed to protect and nurture little children, not sexually abuse and mistreat them. We moved so many times in the first ten years of my life that it was safer and less painful to keep to myself and build high walls around me to keep
people out. I felt so different from other children anyway. I remember being in school, having to write stories about my family and always being asked, “Why don’t you have a daddy?” How does a child answer that question without feeling somehow that they have done something wrong? The tragedy is that our children today are still taking responsibility for situations beyond their control. They can carry feelings such as failure, rejection, abandonment and shame for a lifetime. Our belief system and mindsets are founded in those early years and, as much as we don’t want them to, they affect the decisions and choices that we make as we grow older. I made so many wrong choices and decisions in my teenage years; I sometimes think I must have been one of the most screwed up people in existence. Damaged people don’t attract what they want in life. Wishing for something does not make it happen. Instead you attract what is inside of you...what you “put out to this universe”. Like attracts like; Birds of a feather flock together. Not surprisingly, my life was surrounded by other “victims” and together we viewed life through glasses that stated “Life is unfair; these things were done to me; this is who I am; I can’t help it”. Self pity is ugly and it seeps its way into many areas of your life once the door has been opened.
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I believe we can view life in three ways...as victims who see all the things that are done to us that render us powerless to make changes; as survivors who get through life dragging all our “stuff” with us; or as overcomers who take personal responsibility for our feelings and actions. Overcomers allow God into their circumstances and use their pasts as stepping stones to a higher and stronger place in life. Overcomers do not take responsibility for the actions and choices of others, but they do take responsibility for their own responses to the circumstances of their lives. Where we come from and the experiences we have as children do not define our worth and value. These things are NOT who we are. Three of my favorite words are in spite of. These powerful words tell us that something else is at work and that there is a plan for our lives regardless of the “place” we have come from. I love my story. It is the story of unconditional love and forgiveness – God’s! It is the story of a loving Father and Creator who is “well able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever imagine” (Eph 3:20). It is about a God who is so powerful that He can take all of our “stuff” and turn it into something beautiful. He is a God of healing who restores all that was stolen or given away...and so much more and He is a God who does not have favourites! He loves all His children and longs to
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draw them to His side. He is powerful, loving and gentle. But He is also a gentleman who will not thrust Himself upon us. Too many of us have had that experience. He will not hit us or beat us up. Others have done that to us and we do enough of that to ourselves. He will not speak words that condemn or judge us. We have clothed ourselves in rags by believing that words spoken over us and things done to us are truth. He sees us in spite of. Psalm 139:13, “For I created your inner most being, I put you together in the secret place before anyone saw your unformed body.” Within us there is divine DNA... characteristics of the household to which we belong. This divine DNA is described in 1 Peter 2:9 as “chosen people, royal priesthood, holy nation, belonging to God.” I spent so much of my life fighting for these characteristics, not understanding that these new “places” were already mine. They had been freely given. I didn’t have to fight for them. I now don’t want the story of my life to be that I left such “places” untouched.
“I spent so much of my life fighting for these characteristics, not understanding that these new “places” were already mine.”
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I have watched two of my sons stand at the altar and wait for their brides to walk down the aisle and join them in life. They couldn’t stop smiling. They could barely stand still in their excitement. They longed for the beautiful woman that they knew would share life with them to come and stand beside them. It is a beautiful sight. It brings up deep emotion in me now just thinking about it. It is a sight that reminds me of how God sees us. Isaiah 62:5b “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” Like any good parent, He allows us to learn from our wrong choices. He doesn’t enable our selfdestructive behaviours. His love is both tender and tough. He is not afraid to let us experience consequences. He lets us feel the pain, but is more than willing to heal and forgive. Isaiah 57:15 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
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It must have broken God’s heart to watch the decisions that I made in my teenage years. It must have torn at Him to allow me to walk through the consequences and not rescue me every time. (Looking back, I see that there were times God intervened in dangerous situations in which I
“Growing old is inevitable; growing up is voluntary.” found myself by my own choices. Then there were situations He allowed me to walk through while He looked on, gently calling me to Him). By the time I was a mother of three teenage sons, I understood this parenting model a little more. So many times I wanted to rescue my children
from their choices...and I did, only to see them repeat their mistakes and then wait for me to rescue them again and again. Then, one day, God challenged me and said, “You don’t really love your children because you are not prepared to allow them to experience the consequences of their own actions that will help them grow up. If you continue to do what you are doing, they will continue to be children forever.” It was a painful thing to let them go, to stand back and to stop “fixing” their lives. I had to learn to wait for what I knew was going to happen all the while trusting that God was well able to finish the good work He had begun in them. I had to learn the art of extending a hand in unconditional love without saying “I told you so”. With their fresh scars and scratches, I then encouraged them to keep moving forward a little wiser from the experience I had allowed them to have. Growing old is inevitable; growing up is voluntary.
Oh, I forgot to mention one of my other “places”. I come from a broken marriage. We spent 24 years working, ministering and doing life together...and then it was over. For now, it is enough to say that I know the pain and grief of being deserted with three teenage sons who do not understand why their father has left the family home. What could possibly be more important than them? I know the struggles of working full time, dealing with all the financial challenges and raising three angry and hurt young men. It is a place where you learn to dig deep and spend much time on your knees crying out to God. George Bush said, “Adversity introduces us to ourselves”. Hello Sue Hartley, nice to meet you. Martin Luther King said, “The greatness of a man can’t be found in the hours of comfort and convenience. The greatness of a man is found in the conflict and adversity of life”. I have come in contact with the greatness that Father God placed inside of me and I am learning to walk in it. There are things we can learn in a desert that we can’t learn anywhere else. Indulge | August 2011 | 23
“I have learnt to come out of the dark places...� 24 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
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o let’s go back to the airport in Los Angeles. “How did I get here, Lord?” was the question. To that I would add one more question. “Where is ‘here’?” I have placed over my life a statement of commitment to me and God. This is a statement that I am walking into increasingly every day. Part of it reads: “I am a powerful, significant, creative, trusting and committed woman of God.” These are qualities that I know are inside of me even though I struggle to believe this at times. These are qualities that I am allowing the Father to bring out in me...and He is. I stand today as a testimony to the grace and power of our mighty God. I have three of the most incredible men on this planet who call me “mother” and two beautiful “daughters in love” with another not far away. I always wanted a daughter and now I find myself surrounded by young women. “Mother to many” has been prophesied over my life. Father, give me wisdom and compassion and tough love to make a difference in their lives. I have had the awesome privilege of birthing a ministry that is now in its sixth year called Daughters of Promise. Working alongside me is a team of 16 amazing women who each have their own amazing testimony to share. A Daughters of Promise experience provides a safe place where we teach, encourage and empower women of all ages and stages of life. They discover that they are beautiful, with great value and worth. Through Daughters of Promise, I work with young women who are looking for someone to tell them how to do this thing we call “life”.
with and speaking to people from all walks of life. He takes care of me. How neat is that! I have learnt to come out of the dark places of rejection, shame and hurt. I have allowed the Holy Spirit to gently spread my wings, to feel His “ruach” – His holy breath – beneath those wings, and to fly. Sometimes I fly with great joy, but sometimes it is with fear and in trepidation, not knowing where I will land. In it all, I have learned to trust in His great love for me. Daddy loves His girls. For you who are hiding in the darkness of the past, please step into the light. Father God is real and you can trust Him. Hebrew 13: 5, “For God himself has said I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you go, relax my hold on you, assuredly not.” (Amp) For you who have spread your wings but are afraid to fly, I want you to know that it is okay to feel apprehensive. Fly anyway. There are so many new places Father wants to take you and show you. And for you who have learnt to fly, keep going. Fly higher and then reach down and extend a hand to your sister who needs your help. Inside every woman, there is a rose. Show her the rose….she will conquer the thorns. To God be the glory for the great things He has done.
I work in a school surrounded by hundreds of young people where I am able to make a difference every day. Also, Father has given me a voice to speak His words of life and hope. He is making a way for me to travel to many different places, meeting
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About Sue... Born in New Zealand to Scottish parents, I have had the privilege to live in four different countries while growing up, and have travelled to several other parts of the world. On my bucket list is to explore Canada…. the inner passage, Rocky Mountains….and of course the skiing. Married for 24 years, I have three grown up sons Ben, Peter and Matthew, all unique and incredible men. No grandchildren yet…..but I am ready! I started my working life in an accounting department, left to train as a teacher, taught kindergarten for 17 years, and now I am the Office Manager and work in finance at a Christian College... God uses and builds on every season of your life. I love working with children and young people, and encouraging people in general to discover their identity, purpose and destiny in God. I run a creative ministry called Ruach…..Breathe of God, which trains, equips and releases young people to preach, dance and act out the word of God, seeking a prophetic voice for this season….. I love it. And of course the passion in my life…..Daughters of Promise. A ministry that teaches trains and empowers women of all ages to embrace their true identity, worth and value. Health, wholeness and well being are important to me, and I work hard at maintaining a balance in every area of my life. 26 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
Wtâz{àxÜá Éy cÜÉÅ|áx fxÅ|ÇtÜM Friday night 5.30pm until 10.30pm Saturday 8.00am until approx 7.00pm All catering of meals & seminar materials are inclusive. We come to your church or small group providing everything. The Daughters of Promise seminar takes place in small groups. It is a personal, intimate and interactive experience discovering who you are, your worth and value. Teaching, encouragement and support are provided by a dedicated team of women representing many stages and experiences of life. The goal is simple – we desire to help women position themselves in life to find and fulfill their purpose and destiny.
Wuring your Wtâz{àxÜá Éy cÜÉÅ|áx seminar we will journey through many areas of jomanhoodM
Physical makeup of a woman Power of the media in shaping womanhood Choices and consequences Empowering women of all ages to make wise choices Understanding the effects of our past and tools to overcoming the injuries of our past Creating a positive self image of worth and value Discovering and enhancing your natural beauty Hair, makeup & glamour photo’s Grooming, deportment and etiquette.
j{tà ÑxÉÑÄx tÜx átç|ÇzM
“It was a beautiful experience & made me see how special I am. It has given me more confidence to be a woman.” “It was an amazing experience that has changed my life.” “The teaching and sharing from every lady was phenomenal. They are the most beautiful ladies, who were so gentle, passionate and easy to talk to.” “It meant more to me than you will ever know. The most amazing experience ever” “I felt beautiful for the first time in my life”
“I loved my daughters of promise experience….don’t change anything.”
CONTACT: Pastor Sue Hartley Director Daughters of Promise Mobile: 0422 678 494 Email: daughters06@gmail.com
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“Do you want to be free?” Earlier this year Sue Peters, Director of Women’s Ministry for Queensland Baptist and her husband Darryl, Pastor of Stanthorpe Baptist Church, visited India with Baptist World Aid Australia. Sue shares about their amazing journey, the shocking truth that is occurring every night in Kolkata and the couple who are making a remarkable difference, person by person.
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other Theresa. Saris. Naan Bread. That was about the extent of my knowledge of Kolkata, India when my husband and I landed there this year. We knew it would be hot. We knew it would probably be smelly. We knew we’d eat a lot of curries. What we didn’t know was how much India can get under your skin. Literally. In your pores, in your hair, under your nails.... India is overwhelming. It was my first visit to a developing nation and the pollution, poverty and immense population are at times simply too much. But in spite of all the difficulties of being in India, my experience was great. Each day we would ride tuk tuks and the metro, admire gorgeous saris worn by the elegant Indian women, indulge in beautiful curries and occasionally have a piece of home with a Chicken Maharajah Mac at MacDonald’s... Each night I got to retreat to my air-conditioned room, get clean in my hot shower (with my mouth firmly closed of course), use my western toilet and sleep in a bed with clean sheets and fluffy pillows. The hardships of the day were forgotten as I got a full night’s sleep ready for the next day. Ameena’s experience of Kolkata is a little different. Ameena is originally from Bangladesh. She didn’t come to Kolkata on holiday, instead she was stolen from a refugee camp as an 11 year old and shipped to Kolkata to feed the roaring sex industry. At this young age, Ameena’s virginity was sold for a mere 50 cents. She was used, repeatedly raped and considered the lowest of the low. Her value was not in her ideas, thoughts or gifts, but rather in her
“the men use us and then they hate us” body’s ability to service men for sexual pleasure. Ameena’s experience and mine are worlds apart and yet our paths crossed on a hot sweaty day in Kolkata. She told me that within a few square miles of where we sat more than 10, 000 women stood in line selling their bodies to thousands of men who visited daily. She told me that her story is not unique, that many women, like herself, are trafficked from Bangaladesh, Nepal and rural India to ‘work the line’ nightly. For other women, poverty had left them with little options other than to sell their bodies to feed their hungry children. With tears in her eyes she told me that “the men, they use us and then they hate us”. The men in this area, have no respect for the women they sleep with, but rather use them for their own empowerment. Ameena had no hope when she worked the line. Trapped by pimps, debt and poverty, for many of these women there seems no escape from this life of abuse. Ameena’s story changed the day she met Kerry Hilton, a New Zealand business owner in Kolkata. Kerry and his wife Annie run Freeset, located in Sonagacchi, the largest, most infamous sex district in Kolkata.
They make quality jute bags and organic cotton t-shirts for export, but the heart of their business is freedom. Freeset offers women choice. A choice to leave the line and work in an environment that offers freedom. They provide training, health care, child care and reliable full-time employment. Because of this women have choice in how they spend their money, where they send their children to school, how they provide food and health care. In employing Ameena and 200 other women like her, Freeset is providing options and choice for women where none existed before. Many nights, Ameena still walks the line in Sonagacchi. But now, instead of offering her body to men, she is asking women, “Do you want to be free?”. She offers them the ultimate gift of freedom. We can play a part in Ameena’s freedom too. By purchasing their jute bags or cotton tees you contribute to each women’s freedom. Visit www.freesetglobal. com to view their current catalogue and see customising options. Donations can also be made through Baptist World Aid Australia at http:// www.baptistworldaid.org.au/ modules/bwaa/default.aspx *Ameena’s name has been changed.
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The Mum -Part Connection The Love Formula:
Some Psychologists developed a formula for ensuring our children feel loved: Time + understanding + enjoyment = feelings of love Telling our children that we love them is not enough. This formula suggests that when parent’s responsibilities and schedules don’t permit them to have bonding moments with their kids, children feel lonely and isolated. By parenting on purpose, we plan moments that will bring life, love and laughter to our children. These moments not only protect our children from loneliness or wounding; but they will be the emotional glue in making heart and soul connection.
Time:
Take a moment to assess the balance in your life. Are you spending time on what you value the most? Some ideas: - write a post it note for their lunch box or pillow saying three things you love about them - plan a picnic or treasure hunt in the back garden - hide a question under the dinner plate to jump start a conversation - At bedtime, tell them their own “birth story”. How it felt carrying them, how you felt rushing to the
“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today”
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Candice Schmidt Counsellor
hospital, how much hair they had, the first sound they made, how you felt holding them in your arms. - Take your child out on a date - Get your child started on an activity. Set up the train set or have some play dough fun, then you can leave them to continue while you do other activities. Once you and your child have had some focused, quality time together, then you can set limits on their demands and have time for you. - Family nights are great fun - popcorn and movies (see http://www.pluggedin.com/familyroom/ movienights.aspx for great movie night suggestions) or homemade r smile I love you r stories pizza and charades. I love you r hugs I love you -Take 10 minutes to spend time Love Mum with your child doing what they xxxxx love such as kicking a footy ball or watch and talk with them as they build lego or play barbies. Take an interest in what interests them.
Understanding:
I remember my first born would behave badly when he wanted a hug. One day when I was tempted to put him in time out for his tantrum, God showed me that he needed a hug. I went over and picked him up and cuddled him, soothing him. That was what he needed! As we connected and I cuddled him he calmed down and was much happier. Later he learnt to ask for what he needed - Instead of acting out his feelings, he learnt to identify what he was feeling and would ask for a cuddle instead of getting upset. Just as we help order our child’s external world through routines and meeting their physical needs, our children also need help organising their INTERNAL world. They often feel these big feelings that they can’t interpret so they can’t communicate what they feel or need. So if your child is upset (frustrated, withdrawn, demanding, or out of control) it may be they don’t know what to do with how they are feeling. Try to stay calm, be in
charge, be kind, and go and cuddle or be with your child so they don’t feel alone. Help them put words to their feeling such as “I feel hungry/tired/thirsty/ happy/sad/mad/etc.”. This helps them to put words to feelings and needs and they learn to communicate better in the future. - Sometimes when our children are struggling, we can’t fix it. However, a cuddle, a special drink, some time together showing you care can make all the difference. “A trouble shared is a trouble halved, a joy shared is a joy doubled.” - When your child tells you something he did at school or something achieved, instead of responding straight away with a praise or comment, ask a question or say “tell me about it” or “that’s interesting” then wait for them to share more information.
Enjoyment:
We all desire to be delighted in. Smile! Let your eyes light up when they come into the room. Smile when they come and talk to you. It communicates approval, acceptance, joy in their presence. Smile when you give an instruction, when your child tries hard. Play happy music. - Say yes more often “Yes, when you have tidied your bed”, “Yes of course you can, after you have emptied the dishwasher”... Put a happy lilt in your voice. - Do something crazy like giving them dessert before dinner or surprise them by taking them out for ice creams when they are getting ready for bed.
“There is little chance that your child will remember all the things you did for her while she was growing up but she will remember HOW IT FELT growing up as your child.” Mary Grant
- Celebrate! Make birthdays special such as getting each person in the family to say one thing that they love about the birthday child. Have some special family tradition, such as an end of term visit to the cupcake shop, or a special activity you do every year around Christmas. Traditions become the hinges that anchor memories in your child’s future and give them a sense of belonging. “in our family we ...” I hope you feel inspired to pursue relationship and connection with your child. Remember the love languages – Quality time, Physical Touch, Words of Encouragement, Gift Giving and Acts of Service. Investing in the relationship helps our kids FEEL loved, accepted and secure. You may notice a big change in their behaviour for the better whilst enjoying the parenting journey and the precious value of a great parent-child connection.
Live - Laugh - Love Candice xx
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A Torrent of Words Jenny Baxter
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he didn’t know whether to be relieved, cross or disappointed. What do you do when your husband heads off to China for a four-week missions trip leaving you home with four young children to manage? I sat at Marta’s kitchen table and listened to her over a cup of tea as she poured out a torrent of words. It was a roller coaster of emotions.
Great! He had arrived safely. Oh No! Managing the three boys and their sister will be hard work. Fantastic! Such a wonderful opportunity for him to go to another country and experience a different culture. Grrr! How come I am feeling so . . . so . . . what is it? So . . . Jealous!
It has taken me a long time, but I have learnt that outbursts like this are often just that. Outbursts. They are not carefully thought through arguments. They are not strongly held convictions. They are not even rational! But somewhere the lid needs to be lifted for the steam to escape. Once the thoughts are aired, verbalised and out in the open, rational thinking often returns. So I took my cue and I listened.
We girls aren’t so great at listening sometimes. We get so caught up in memories evoked by what we are hearing that we frequently butt in and tell of our own experience of whatever it was. You know – get a group of new mums together and before you know it they are all sympathizing with each other and everyone’s recent birth story is out there! But that’s not the sort of interaction Marta needed that day. I quickly realised she needed me to listen with empathy. Funnily enough, not many weeks before finding myself in Marta’s kitchen I had taken part in some training which explained the difference between empathic and sympathetic listening. Empathy and sympathy are often aligned with one another, but they are in fact quite different. Empathy is defined as “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings”. Whereas sympathy is “the act or power of sharing the feelings of another” Listening with empathy means I am truly entering into the speaker’s world. Sympathy however just means I share the feelings, not necessarily enter into them . . . like those new mums. If you think about it, sympathetic listening does not respect the person I am listening to very much at all. Imagine trying to tell someone something serious and all they do is talk about themselves and the memories it brings up for them! Sadly, I have discovered that’s exactly what most of us do without even realising it. Empathic listening is a vastly more helpful way of listening to someone. The good thing is that you don’t have to do very much at all. Just listen and ask clarifying questions if you are unsure. Probably the hardest thing is to keep your mouth shut about your own stories!
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So I listened while Marta raved on for a while. I gave her my full attention and took it all in. I bit my tongue when her words reminded me of some of my own experiences. I tried to get into Marta’s shoes to hear from her perspective, and I consciously chose not to impose my own thoughts. No judgments, no advice and no changing the subject. Marta calmed down after a while. It was okay. She just needed someone to listen.
Jenny Baxter is the former editor of Christian Woman magazine. She lives in Tasmania with her husband Stephen and two teens, Elliot and Hilary. Currently she works as the Communications Manager for Hobart’s Christian radio ultra106five.com
book
REVIEWS
by Michelle Dennis Evans
Best Forgotten by Paula Vince
Contemporary Inspirational Fiction www.appleleafbooks.com
Courtney survives an accident but suffers from complete amnesia. When he is released from hospital, he meets his mother, sister and girl friend. His girl friend mysteriously insists they get to know each other again. Courtney then goes on to reconcile relationships that seemed doomed before his accident. His memory comes back in a flurry and he subsequently has the choice of who he will be, the Courtney before the accident or the person he’d become during the week of his amnesia. The outworking of his self discovering brings a compelling read. Best Forgotten has mystery, action, faith and suspense with a touch of romance. This book sends the reader into their own mind, to question family relationships and if there is need for restoration. The younger reader would acquire insight into consequential actions. There is also the journey of faith and fate weaved throughout this novel. Charming and delightful!
African Hearts by Laura O’Connell Christian Romance laura-oconnell.com/
Gina Messina jumps on a plane after she hears news that her brother in Africa is critically ill. She meets Dr Kam Bonsu and they have an instant attraction. Their hearts are both bound by past love and loss and neither can see how they can have a worthwhile relationship spanning the continents. Then add Gina’s eight year old nephew into the mix and a whole lot of romance … and … you have African Hearts. Laura takes the reader on a journey of love, loss, responsibility, grief, hope and peace. The reader has a chance to think about their own religious beliefs and the condition of their heart. The majority of this story is set in Africa and Laura has described the country in beautiful prose. Books are available from your local Christian book store or Light the Dark http://www.lightthedark.com. au/ Indulge | August 2011 | 33
Body
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Colo
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You
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Physical Healing in All Seasons
Dr Cris Beer
A
s we all know, life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes we are full of energy and feel like we can move mountains and sometimes we’re tired and can’t even lift a finger. Sometimes we’re filled with overwhelming joy, yet at other times we’re discouraged and down. Likewise, at times we feel motivated to make necessary changes in our lives, and at other times we feel like we’ve missed the mark and failed. These are all part of the normal ebb and flow of life. There is an old adage that remarks, ‘sweet wouldn’t be so sweet without the bitter.’ Contrast makes life interesting. Yet at whatever season of life we find ourselves in, we can continue to move forward. Every season, whether a testing season or a season of harvest and plenty, has an end. Also, just as summer rolls into autumn, and winter into spring, every season has its place and is linked to the season preceding it. I believe that recognising what season we’re in and which season is just ahead of
us will help us to maintain perspective and forward momentum. This is especially true when it comes to healing from wounds inflicted and endured in a previous season and what we can do in our present season to facilitate that healing and move forward. A beautiful scripture in the bible that outlines the importance of seasons is Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. It’s important to remember that we won’t always feel comfortable in a particular season but we can learn to appreciate what lessons are being learnt. As my good friend and mentor once wrote, “I had to learn to appreciate the season even when I hated the weather.” I also believe that we can maintain a sense of overall well-being, both internal and external, during every season. This can be achieved by recognising that we’re a three-part being and, as such, there exists in each of us a mind-body-spirit connection.
There is a time for everything; and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
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Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
We are spiritual beings living in physical bodies, or as my husband says ‘our earth suits’. A good practice may be to regularly ask ourselves whether we are treating our bodies like we bought it from Crazy Clarks or from Prada? Well what is anything really worth other than what someone is willing to pay for it, right? Well we know the price God paid for us, spirit, soul, and body – He gave His only son. So in summary, we’re priceless. Sometimes as Christians we can pursue spiritual things to the neglect of physical things. But God made us to live in a physical world for us to enjoy everything in balance; and our emotional and spiritual health is directly intertwined with our physical health. In fact, science has shown that our brain has its own rhythm or ‘heartbeat’ and our heart has its own brain cells. You can’t separate the three parts of who we are whilst live here on Earth. As we learn to renew our minds to God’s word, we will realise strength and energy arising from our spirits and bodies to deal with whatever challenge comes our way. Conversely, when we get our house in order (our bodies) we set up our minds to function optimally. As for healing specific wounds inflicted during a specific season, I’ll leave you with this challenge from Beth Moore. I heard her on TV recently speaking about how she has been led by God to undertake a month of healing for an issue in her life. This consisted of her praying to God about seeking healing for this issue everyday, whether she felt good about it or not. She also purposed to believe that God would minister to her through multiple sources that month, rather than seeing them as coincidence. She suggested finding an accountability person to share progress each week and choosing to re-evaluate at the end of the month. How about challenging ourselves to a month of healing?
Life as we know it will someday end, And time in eternity we will then spend, Seasons will come and seasons have passed, Although they seem to forever last, Life begets life, and wounds are for healing, A decision we make, and not a feeling, God forgives us and so must we, As He prepares us for eternity.
Lastly, we have the hope of eternity – of focussing on the fact that life is but a whisper on the end of God’s breath. As Ecclesiastes mentions on seasons, “God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men.” So I’ll leave you with the thought that now is your season to heal.
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Hair Colour Secrets Revealed
A
ll your ever wanted to know about hair colour...
Temporary Hair Color - Semi Permanents
Temporary or semi-permanent hair colours deposit dyes onto the outside of the hair shaft or may consist of small pigment particles that can slide inside the hair shaft, using a small amount of peroxide or none at all. Shampooing will eventually dislodge temporary hair color. These products don’t contain ammonia, meaning the hair shaft isn’t opened up during processing and the hair’s natural color is retained once the product washes out.
organic at all – plus the other chemicals are still there. Research suggests that many supermarket hair dyes have 2-3 times more chemicals in them than professional colours. Once your hair has ‘chemical‘ damage, it is actually damaged for good. Professional Hairdressing colours are much lower in ammonia and peroxide. They are designed so the hairdresser can add minimal chemicals to the hair. They often have built in treatments added which add shine and protect the hair shaft causing minimal damage. New technology in colouring by Keratin will colour the hair and bond the Keratin to the hair shaft at the same time. This will make the hair feel soft, shiny and reduces the frizz by up to 80 percent.
Permanent Hair Color
The outer layer of the hair shaft, its cuticle, must be opened before permanent color can be deposited into the hair. Once the cuticle is open, the dye reacts with the inner portion of the hair (the cortex) to deposit or remove the color. Most permanent hair colors use a two-step process (occurring simultaneously) which first removes the original color of the hair and then deposits a new color. The colour bonds to the hair shaft. Ammonia is the chemical that opens the cuticle and allows the hair color to penetrate the cortex of the hair.
Bleaching Hair
Bleach is used to lighten hair. The bleach reacts with the melanin in hair, removing the color in an irreversible chemical reaction. The bleach oxidizes the melanin molecule.
Supermarket hair colours versus Professional hair colours. Their packaging may reassure you with images of fruit, plants and other natural goodness, but many of these hair dyes still contain plenty of chemicals. Closer inspection of products claiming to contain “certified organic” or ‘natural’ ingredients reveals most of the ingredients in there aren’t certified 38 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
Words & Photography Tanya Epis; Model Bella Epis
On Trend for 2011 Spring/Summer will see “Colour Blocking”. Colour Blocking is the new buzz term and designers are using colour blocking in most of their collections for spring/summer 2011. It is a modern, subtle version of 80’s dressing with bright blocks of colours, large clean, formated lines with minimal hair, makeup and accsessories.
x x a y n a T Love
Pictures courtesy of Westfield Online Shopping www.westfield.com.au
colour blocking
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Real Fast Food at Home
Angela Frost Food Editor
3 recipes under 30 minutes
SMOKED CHICKEN AND AVOCADO PASTA Serves 4-6 | Prep 10 minutes | Cook 10-12 minutes
250g spaghetti pasta 25g butter 1 red onion - chopped 1 bacon rasher - chopped 1/2 cup pine nuts 250g crème fraiche 1/2 cup chicken stock 1 packet smoked chicken breast (app 400g) - sliced 1 avocado - sliced Parmesan cheese and parsley to garnish 1. Cook pasta according to the instructions. 2. In a large frying pan add the butter, onion, pine nuts and bacon. Cook for 4-5 minutes. 3. Add the crème fraiche and chicken stock and heat gently. 40 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
4. Add the sliced smoked chicken and heat through until chicken is hot. 5. Add sliced avocado, season with salt and pepper. 6. Serve over hot pasta and top with Parmesan cheese and parsley.
Individual Apple and raspberry Crumbles
Makes 8 | Prep 10 minutes | Cook 15-20 minutes 2 sheets frozen puff pastry, thawed 1 400g can of apple pie filling 1 cup of frozen raspberries 1/4 cup brown sugar Crumble 50g butter 1/2 cup flour 1/4 brown sugar 2 tbsp rolled oats 1. Cut pastry into squares and use to line a standard non-stick muffin tin. 2. Mix apple, raspberries and brown sugar together and spoon into pastry cases. 3. Blend or rub crumble ingredients together to form a coarse crumbly mixture. Spoon over apple mixture and bake in a preheated oven at 180°c for 15-20 minutes until pastry is puffed and crisp and the topping is golden. 4. Remove pies from tins while warm and dust with icing sugar. Serve with cream
tandoori Salmon
Serves 2 | Prep 7 minutes | Cook 8-10 minutes 2 tbsp Tandoori paste 2 tbsp Greek-style plain yoghurt 2 fresh salmon portions approx 400g Serve with:cooked rice extra Greek yoghurt cucumber and lemon wedges 1. Combine Tandoori paste and Greek yoghurt in a bowl. 2. Coat salmon in the mixture then set aside until ready to cook. 3. Place salmon portions on a lined baking tray and cook for 8-10 minutes or until cooked to your liking. 4. Serve with rice, yoghurt, cucumber and lemon wedges
Indulge | August 2011 | 41
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