Revista IES Los Montesinos-Versión inglesa

School newspaper IES Los Montesinos

I Edition. Year 2015

1.News.

2. Interviews.

3. Cultural.

4. Hobbies.

The brave geologist Don Quixote suffers a mishap in the cave of Montesinos.

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Time of taking the IES Los Montesinos by the ingenious Hidalgo and his faithful squire .

A crowd of horsemen coming from La Mancha have registered themselves at the Montesinos town hall.

In our section we have exclusive interviews Don Quixote and mentor the same .

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We make a historical tour with numerous anecdotes that occurred during its countless adventures Page 8

The municipality from Alicante of Los Montesinos has suffered the worst invasion of its history since it was taken by the european forces. The manchegan soldiers were looking for the Montesinos cave, but the GPS has led them to the namesake town of the Vega Baja del Segura. The turmoil has caused the town to double its population.

The troops’ captain, Don Quixote, has settled in there and has encouraged his

squire, Sancho Panza, to follow in his footsteps, since the southeastern peninsular spring smells like orange blossom and the temperature is quite warm, which allows to dispense with the armor. The local youngsters have felt attracted by the stories told by the captain and have decided to gather them and publish them in the two most spoken languages by the inhabitants of Los Montesinos, namely the autochthon and the european forces’.

Ne w s Last Saturday, when the sun happened. These came half an was at its highest, the hour later and with help of a honorable assistant Sancho step, they managed to retrieve Panza called the emergency the injured geologist, doctor services from the entrance of Don Quixote. He was taken to hospital immediately. the cave, a place He has been in very hard to coma for two reach in The valiant geologist days because of Sierra blows to the Morena.

Don Quixote de la head. His The poor Mancha suffers an body suffers Sancho had to accident in the cave of great traumas and wait two Los Montesinos cuts that will hours be labelled as until the sequels in his medics anatomy and some arrived. When will be almost they arrived to impossible to cure. the sinister area they realized that they couldn’t reach where the affected was Yesterday he woke up of a sudden from the Deep coma located. and started to complain for the Sancho tried to explain, with intense pain he felt in his tears in his eyes, what had head. Hours later he started to happened. tell, what in his opinion, had seen : “I was helping my instructor descend when I let go off the “I woke up when the smell of rope by accident, by accident!, essence came to me. I got up a I swear to the metamorphic little tired and tried to hug the rocks!” wall to not fall down. Far away The medics advised the I saw two lines of young firemen so they could reach women walking slowly in the the area where it had

cave. At the end of what seemed a procession, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me. The last I remember is waking up in his room.”

Docotr Durandarte says that these are hallucinations, fruit of gas escape in the cave. The ecological groups investigate these gases. Officer Montesinos, Chief of the Town, arrested Sancho for attempted murder.

BASILIO GETS MARRIED WITH QUITERIA, AFTER EVERYBODY THINK THAT BASILIO HAD STABBED HIMSELF WITH A SWORD When Basilio wanted to marry Quiteria, she promised Camacho to marry him. Basilio wielded a sword from his belt, he stabbed himself and everybody thought that he was dead. The priest wanted to bless him, but Basilio didn’t want blessings, but he wanted to marry Quiteria in articulo mortis. Everybody accepted, but then Basilio got up saying that everything had been a prank. The just married, Quiteria and Basilio, went to celebrate with some friends and with Don Quixote to the village.

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LAST FRIDAY A PERSON FROM AN UNKNOWN ORIGIN PRETENDED TO BE A POLICE OFFICER. Last Friday 3 March a guy called Don Quixote pretended to be a police officer. He set fines, arrested people and he did it infairly. Last night at 3 in the morning the policemen found him through his mobile phone. He was in a friend’s house, called Ventero, who is under surveillance.

The policemen bursted into this Ventero’s house, as they knocked at his door but they didn’t find answer. When they came in, they founf Don Quixote locked in a room full of weapons, cleaning and arranging them. They tried to seize them, but he fought them.

According to a policeman’s testimony, he shouted: “Help me Dulcinea”, it shoud be one of his deliriums because it seems he had psychological problems.

Suddenly, Don Quixote did a skillful chokehold, knocked the policeman down, hit the other policeman in his head with a chair and ran downstairs to reach the street where he got in his BMW, named Rocinante.

At the moment, he missing and wanted.

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still

A police officer pushed him to the floor, he sat on him and took him by the hands.

Last Tuesday night, in the gardens of the supposed Dolorida, by trickery, managed to ridiculize Don Quixote and Sancho.

A partner, infiltrated between the people, tells us that they managed to convince Don Quixote that Dolorida and other women were under spell, that made their hair grow like man’s. Don Quixote, without knowing that it was all a hoax and that the women were actually men, accepted the adventure that Dolorida proposed: mount a great wooden horse, with his eyes blinded and go to Candaya to disarm the spell. They made

is

on the garden’s floor.

Sancho retold everything he saw from “the skies” and, that way, Dolorida and all the other “women” had a lot of laughs.

Once more, our poor knight Don Quixote is the center of everyone’s jokes.

him believe that he was already flying through the air, making wind for him to make it more believable, next they lit the fireworks that were inside the horse’s belly and flew through the airs, falling again

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THE FAREWELL OF A GREAT ONE

Last Saturday, Don Quixote faced a supposed giant that resulted a hen. As the farmer tells us, who was fairly affected by this attack on his hen, Don Quixote was sleepwalking, dressed with his armour and the pajama nightcap and a stick, as a sword, in his hand. The barber, the priest and the farmer decides to imprison him in a cage and they would take him to town.

who they thought was the blame of everything that happened.

Sancho excused himself and blamed courtly romance, which were driving Don Quixote crazy.

The niece and the lover of Don Quixote don’t believe Sancho’s words and decided to take him to court in town, hoping that Don Quixote is in conditions to leave his care.

Tomorrow’ s newspaper will inform about anything happening in this act.

DON QUIXOTE CONFESSES BEFORE EVERYBODY BEFORE DYING Alonso Quixano regained lucidity and said goodbye to his friends writing a testament.

Before he died he told his niece that, please, not to marry any man ignorant about courtly literature as these books would take any person to insanity. And after saying these words, the great knight Alonso Quixano passed away.

Halfway there, Don Quixote woke up but the priest had put some sheets over the cage so he couldn’t see nor ask about the occurred.

Yesterday, after a week, they arrived in town. The neighbors went to see what was under the sheets and Don Quixote, after hearing a lot of noises, got mad and asked: “Are we at circus or something?” This surprised the neighbors, especially his lover and her niece, who recognized his voice.

These asked what had happened and as they found out about the battle against the giant they asked to take him home to care him and keep him away from Sancho,

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I n te r v i e w s

Good morning everyone, I’m Pedro and these are my companions Yeray and Juan Antonio, from Montesineros Through Time. Today we are going to travel to the XVI Century and interview the great knight Don Alonso Quixano to ask him a few questions about his past.

- Good morning Don Alonso, I’m Pedro, from Los Montesinos throughout time, I’m glad to have you here with us today. If you don’t mind I’m going to ask you a few questions. My first question is: 1- What is your opinión towards the story od Don Miguel de Cervantes; your autor, not wanting to remember were you live?

That is a question I’ve asked myself for a long time. My most trustworthy hypothesis is that my author hid where I lievd so no soldiers or enemies could rob my jewels or swords that I adore so much.

-Interesting answer, Don Alonso, next question: 2- Don Alonso, how did you meet your faithful shield bearer?

A magnificent question, Pedro, it is a very interesting story. One summer night I went to a tavern, The Honerd Publictician, and he was there. I heard him talking to his friends about his wishes to have an insula and to be a king on his own property. Me , planning my first route to fight against the enemies and conquer lands, I approached him and told him what I thought while he listened with attention. After a long talk, he got up from the seat, he shook my hand and ran home to prepare everything we needed for our escape without thinking twice.

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-What a great story, I don’t have anymore questions for you. I give you many thanks for your time and I will leave you with my companion Juan Antonio.

He has quite a few interesting questions.

- Hello, Don Alonso, I’m Juan Antonio. Your story impressed me and I want you to know you are a role model, without going around the Bush, I’m going to ask you a few questions that I’m very curious about.

1- Is there any explanation for the name you gave your horse, Rocinante, when it could be called Pepe or any other name?

Yes, there is an explanation. His last owner told me he spent all day rubbing against the wall and asked if I could go and see him. When I got there, I realized he scratched himself because he had a wound under his fur. I proposed to cure it and he said yes. When I finished curing him I took him to the owner and because he didn’t have the money to pay for the treatment he said to keep him as payment and I accepted without thinking. And his name came from Roci: scratched ante: before.

- Very interesting, Don Alonso, next question: 2- Next place, I would like to know your impression when you saw those famous giants that outstand in your work.

My frist impression was that, after Reading all those courtly romance books onhow to take on the best army in the world I had never read about knights that slay giants. When I saw the first one I knew I wouldn’t be able to slay them until I realized they couldn’t move, so I armed up and slayed them.

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- A very heroic action. I don’t have any more questions. Thank you for your time. I’ll leave you with my companion Yeray.

- Hello Don Alonso, I’m Yeray. First place, I would like to say I love your work, I’m a great admirer. If it is not too much, I’m going to ask you a few questions: 1- How did you feelthe first time you rodeo n the flying horse?

Ughh…well that’s something that brings back bad memories. Despite my will and courage to help the ladies I hate flying in every way. When we were up high all I could think about was getting ti the ground safe and sound and at the same time hoping the horse wouldn’t tire out and crash against the floor. It was a stressful situation.

- A very interesting answer answer, I didn’t know that side of you.

2- How do you feel about women with beards?

Honestly the first time I say her I didn’t know if she was a man or woman until I spoke to her.

Even after then I felt weird. I think women shouldn’t have beards because they are supposed to show their beautiful side, because they are the perfection made God. - I think the same, Don Alonso. All three of us thank you for your time and collaboration and we wish you luck on your deeds.

Good morning! Today here with us is the writer Don Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, that soon will publish his new novel; The noble ingenious Don Quixote de la Mancha.

Good morning!

Well…we just named your new novel. Why do you think it will be different from the others you have published?

The Quixote isn’t anything alike what I have

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written before. I think it is different because it will make the reader laugh. It is a comical and satirical novel.

From what I have been reading, El Quixote is a novel that makes fun of novels about knights.

Why do you make fun of them? Don’t you like them?

No, I think that period has past. Now we should concentrate on new forms of creating

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literature, like in Italy. Because of this in my novel I would like to mock the romances in novels about knights, the damsel in distress and the knight who faces any situation for his dignity. In the Quixote these situations can be observed with other perspectives, until there I can read.

Perfect. Now we are going to more personal questions. Is that OK with you?

Of course.

Why did you leave to Rome? The bad rumors say you caused bad injuries to the painter, Antonio de Sigura…

It wasn’t me, I have to fear to tell. I travelled to Rome to learn, live new experiences, and serve to Monsignor Acquaviva.

Which is the book that has cost you the most to write until this moment?

I can exactly tell you, but the one that cost me the most to write would be the Quixote.

take everything away from you.

How did it feel writing about the death of Isabel de Valois?

It was a magnificent experience, because it was the first time. Something was going to publish that I had written. They were four poems that I’m very proud of.

Did anyone help you?

Of course. My companion Juan Lopez de Hayos, he helped me a lot, you could say he was my teacher.

To finish off. Do you consider your stuttering a problem to speak to people?

No, it doesn’t matter how I speak as long as the words have meanings and I’m sure of myself.

Many thanks for the interview Miguel. We wish you luck on publishing the new book.

You are welcome.

What is your relationship with Catalina de Salazar and Palacios?

Catalina is my wife.

Could you give us a brief summary of the novel La Galatea?

Yes, of course. La Galatea contains a rich collection of romances. There are six stories and I’ll give you a summary of the first one. It is about two pastors, Elicio and Elastro, both in love with Galatea, a beautiful shepherdess that adores her liberty, and her dad wants her to marry a rich man Elastro.

Is it true that in the prisión you get better ideas from people?

I wouldn’t know if they are the best ideas, but a lot of ideas come to mind, it is the only thing you have to entertain yourself because they

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C u l tu r a l Don Quixote decided to resolve as son as posible all those wrongs in the world and that’s the way he started his first adventure…

On the sunrise of the hot month of July, he armed himself with weapons, mounted in Rocinante, his flaming BMW, and highly excited the garage towards the great city.

Suddenly, a thought came to him, he didn’t have a police badge, so under the law he couldn’t arrest any villain.

Our adventurer, after running around the whole city in search of cillains, was delirious. He heard the horn of a porker that called his pigs, he found the farmer and told him he was going to fine him for exceeding the maximum number of decibels permitted in an area so close to the

And so fatigued deste thought, he shortened his venteril and limited dinner; which he finished called the landlord and, locking him in the stable, fell to his knees before him, saying: I never arise where this valiant knight, until your courtesy grants me the boon I seek which redound to your praise and the benefit of mankind.

The innkeeper was the guest at his feet and heard similar reasons, was confused at him, not knowing what to do or say and were at strife with him to get up and he never wanted to say was that gave him the gift he asked.

city, that that noise was acoustic contamination.

In his fantasy of being a policeman, which was about to fine him, he heard a woman’s scream, mounted on Rocinante and went flyuing at 200 km/h thinking it could be a damsel in distress. In result itr was only two young women, who were drunk and with a very bad look, must have been tramps, but since he was delirious and in his daily fantasy, he tought they were two damsels in distress.

When the women realized he was delirious they thought of a trap: wait until he fell asleep and rob Rocinante, his BMW, when Don Quixote woke up he couldn’t believe it.

sir, said Don Quixote, and so I tell you the gift that I have asked and your freedom has been given me, ye that I am knighted. Tonight, in the chapel of your castle, will ensure the weapons, and tomorrow, as I have said, the saying that much desire for power, as it should, go through all four parts of the world looking for adventure, pro- needy, and he is in charge of the cavalry and knights, as I am at such feats whose desire is tilted.

I expected no less of your great magnificence,

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C u l tu r a l

The new Don Quixote and Sancho´s adventure starts in one of the woods from La Mancha, sitting on a stone, under a tall and protecting tree.

and Don Quixote? Don’t instalment of the novel.

miss

the

new

The so beloved Don Quixote sets out a new adventure accompanied by his faithful friend Sancho and new found fellow, The Knight of the Woods.

Downcast out of uncorresponded love, the Knight of the Woods decides to relieve himself with our loved Don Quixote.

Meanwhile, our favourite squire, Sancho, and the Knight of the Woods hold a conversation about their lives and former relationships.

What will happen with the Knight of the Woods

In a place of La Mancha, there was a man of approximately fifty years old that decided to leave his life in hands of courtly romance that he had in his private library. This man is called Alonso Quixano or Quesada, but his surname is not known, but through for credible conjectures we think that he was called Quixana.

After his thoughts of wanting to turn into a gentleman, he though its best to look for a nickname, so that people could recognize him. He decided that his name would be Don Quixote de la Mancha. Due to the fact that he wanted to honor his land. He also thought that

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he had to find a name for his horse and he gave it the name of Rocinante because it meant something.

Finally, the nobleman was lacking a lady to whom attribute his achievements and fights. He called her Dulcinea del Toboso since she was from Toboso and a musical name . It meant something. Actually she was his neighbor, called Aldonza Lorenzo, of which a time behind he was in love.

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H o b b i es

Personality Test 1.- What do you prefer to do in your free time? a) Read books. b) walk along the field. c) to weave.

2.- Say waht you see in this image: a) A giant! I must kill it! b) so a wind mill… c) a very tasteless wind mill. I would paint it pink.

3.- Between these articles, what would you prefer to wear? a) A silver armor. b) a straw hat. c) a silk dress.

4.- How do you have your hair? a) Light. b) I don’t have any… c) dark.

5.- If you were proposed to go to an unknown place, would you accept? a) Of course! I love adventures! b) If they make me…then yes. c) What?! A place I don’t know? No. 6.- What animal do you prefer? a) A white horse. b) A grey donkey. c) Un pajarillo.

10.- What do you prefer to drink? a) Potions b) Wine. c) Water.

11.- What do you prefer to eat? a) Lentils. b) Dove. c) Pizza.

12.- What type of clothes do you normally use? a) Armors. b) Brown t shirts and trousers. c) t shirts with very short skirts.

13.- What do you do if you are walking and you find a cave? a) I would go in to explore the strange mysteries that it conceals. b) I would stay outside. I am scared of the dark. c) I have claustrophia.

14.- What is your favourite lesson? a) Language and literatura. b) Sciences c) History 15.- If you lived in the past. What would you like to be? a) A knight. b) A faithful squire. c) A simple and sweet maid.

7.- What type of literary genre do you prefer? a) Adventure. b) Nature. c) Fashion.

Answers -Majority of A: Don Quixote, you are an adventurous person and you are always ready to explore distant places. You are very imaginative and you are a bit mad.

8.- Against who do you prefer to fight? a) Against giants. b) Against fighters. c) Against princesses.

-Majority of B: Sancho Panza. You are a very town, home person. You normally do what you are told, even though you think it is not correct.

You are also a bit scared.

9.- What is your favourite color? a) Grey. b) Brown. c) Passion red.

-Majority of C: Dulcinea del Toboso. You are a person almost invented. A lot of people imagine their perfect partner and…Bam! You appear in front of them.

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H o b b i es

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Judith, Jesús, Nadia, Ciam Belén, Jose, Maria, Estela , Ana. Joaquín, Adrián, Mario and Pedro.

Judith, Jesús and Nadia.

Joaquín, Adrián, Pedro, Mario and Scarlet.